Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: January 17, 2025
Host/Author: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

Overview

In the January 17, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg, along with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, delves into a series of listener emails that tackle unconventional relationship dynamics, infidelity, and the pursuit of affluent companionship. The episode is marked by sharp humor, candid discussions, and insightful (albeit irreverent) commentary on modern relationships and personal challenges.

Key Segments

1. Listener Email: Joseph's Unorthodox Proposal
2. Listener Update: Vince's Marital Turmoil
3. Listener Insight: The Professional Girlfriend Phenomenon

1. Listener Email: Joseph's Unorthodox Proposal

Timestamp: [04:05] - [06:16]

Email Content:
Joseph writes to Holmberg expressing that his wife suggested he could have another wife for "ass play," reflecting his discomfort and confusion about the proposal.

Discussion Highlights:

• Bret’s Initial Reaction: Bret humorously navigates the absurdity of Joseph's situation, questioning the implications of polygamy for specific sexual preferences.

  Bret: "If you got caught with heroin on you and the parent had to go to jail the same amount you did. Oh, the beating that Dan would have given me."
  (Note: Although this quote pertains to a different email, similar humor is applied to Joseph’s situation.)

• Dick Toledo’s Commentary: Dick adds levity by comparing the scenario to unrealistic expectations, emphasizing the impracticality of Joseph’s wife's suggestion.

  Dick Toledo: "I mean, Kurt Vessey would have murdered me. Well, he probably would have said, do you have a great album written?"

• Humorous Advice: Bret and Dick exchange witty remarks on the feasibility and consequences of Joseph pursuing a second marriage solely for specific sexual needs.

  Bret: "You have to clarify by saying, does that mean I have to lose you?"
  Dick Toledo: "Careful with that."

Notable Quote:

Bret: "If you're putting the pressure on your wife to do stuff she doesn't want to do and then she suggests, well, you need to go find someone else. You have to clarify by saying, does that mean I have to lose you?"
[04:19]

2. Listener Update: Vince's Marital Turmoil

Timestamp: [06:16] - [12:14]

Email Content:
Vince updates the hosts on his troubled marriage. Fifteen days into his marriage and facing an unexpected pregnancy, Vince discovers his wife may have been unfaithful with an ex from Montreal, casting doubt on the paternity of the child.

Discussion Highlights:

• Initial Situation: Vince emails about his wife suddenly needing space and contemplating separation shortly after their marriage and her pregnancy announcement.

  Bret: "She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right."

• Hosts' Analysis: Bret and Dick discuss the likelihood of infidelity, considering Joseph’s earlier experience with substance abuse, though Vince's situation differs.

• Listener Update: Vince reveals that his wife admitted to having sex with her ex-boyfriend from Montreal before their wedding, leaving him uncertain about the baby's paternity.

  Bret: "She's very Worried that months from now, we're gonna find out it's not my kid."

• Advice Given: The hosts recommend Vince consider a prenatal paternity test to resolve uncertainties before the baby’s arrival, emphasizing the emotional and financial implications.

  Bret: "This is not the way to start off your marriage, to sit there every single day and go tick tock."

Notable Quotes:

Bret: "She was hosing some dude right before the wedding. And unprotected Montreal. Omar dropped a bomb in her, and she's not sure that that baby's yours."
[07:55]

Dick Toledo: "What do you marry us fast back for?"
[05:35]

Bret: "If you're putting the pressure on your wife... does that mean I have to lose you?"
[06:16]

3. Listener Insight: The Professional Girlfriend Phenomenon

Timestamp: [23:05] - [33:00]

Listener Profile: A woman named Ruby Jade, aged 24, has initiated a unique business model as a "professional girlfriend." Her strategy involves seeking affluent, single men to accompany her on social outings without the expectation of a committed relationship or sexual involvement.

Discussion Highlights:

• Business Model Explained: Ruby Jade actively seeks men who are wealthy and lonely, offering companionship in exchange for financial support without entangling emotional ties.

  Bret: "She's a professional girlfriend, purposefully tries to be at the right place at the right time to find a rich guy that takes her shopping."

• Hosts' Critique: Bret and Dick debate the ethical and emotional implications of such arrangements, likening it to a transactional relationship devoid of genuine connection.

  Bret: "She's doing the exact same thing we do, and we're all looking at her like, what a slut."

• Societal Reflections: The discussion touches on broader societal issues such as loneliness, financial dependence in relationships, and the commodification of companionship.

  Dick Toledo: "She's a vagina mercantile. He just goes up to the general store and talks to old Mr. Olson about some. I got some beans and turnips. You trade them for her."

• Final Thoughts: The hosts conclude by highlighting the superficiality and potential manipulation inherent in such relationships, questioning the long-term sustainability and emotional health of participants.

  Bret: "What pissed people off was, she's targeting a certain demographic. So do we. You know, in fairness to women, that's. We target a certain demographic. What's the difference?"

Notable Quote:

Bret: "She's a professional girlfriend... It's like winning the lottery. She's pretty and she's young and she looks for you and says, are you a single guy? What's going on with you?"
[23:18]

Dick Toledo: "She's a vagina mercantile. He just goes up to the general store and talks to old Mr. Olson about some. I got some beans and turnips. You trade them for her."
[25:25]

Additional Highlights

• Humorous Banter: The episode is interspersed with lighthearted and humorous exchanges among the hosts, especially when riffing on listener emails and hypothetical scenarios.

  Bret: "What more. What's worse news than the first 15 days? This."
  [52:26]

• Community Engagement: The hosts encourage listeners to share their stories and experiences, fostering a sense of community and shared understanding among the audience.

  Bret: "Thanks for sharing. If it wasn't for you, this show would be... Would still be good."

• Music and Culture References: The discussion includes references to popular music bands and cultural elements, enhancing the relatability and entertainment value of the episode.

  Bret: "Prison Sex. Because that's what Vince's wife should have had with Kevin from Discover Card."

Conclusion

The January 17, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a candid and humorous exploration of complex relationship issues faced by listeners. Through engaging discussions on infidelity, unconventional relationship proposals, and the pursuit of affluent companionship, the hosts provide both entertainment and thought-provoking commentary. Notable quotes and sharp banter ensure that the episode resonates with listeners, offering both laughs and insights into the intricacies of modern relationships.

Tune In: For more episodes and to join the conversation, visit www.98kupd.com or tune in to 98 KUPD (97.9 FM) weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM.