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John Holberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here for.
Josh Wolf
The amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right? Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do.
Unnamed Comedian
And.
Josh Wolf
And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com youm thought that was funny?
Unnamed Comedian
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Josh Wolf
We're bitter about weddings right here in the room. Josh Wolf has joined us. He's at Stand up live tonight at 7:30. You can go tonight to your show downtown.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah.
Josh Wolf
And then you're heading over to Tempe tomorrow and Saturday for two shows each night. This is easy.
Unnamed Comedian
That's right.
Josh Wolf
It's cake.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, and every show's a little bit different. You know, I don't know if I've been here since I started doing mushrooms on my Friday night shows.
Josh Wolf
No, you haven't. And now you've sold tickets, at least one.
Unnamed Comedian
So every Friday late show, I take like three grams and go on stage.
Josh Wolf
So. Not you, Micro. So you're not really killing it, but you do feel it.
Unnamed Comedian
Listen, dude, I'm not. Are you on them now, Micro? Who does that?
Josh Wolf
I don't understand.
Unnamed Comedian
I'm not a quitter. Like, I might as well drink some water. What do you mean, Micro?
Josh Wolf
It's like having a sip of beer and putting the whole Can.
Unnamed Comedian
I don't know who does that? That is not a our generation thing. But is it micro drugs?
Josh Wolf
But three grams is sort of micro.
Unnamed Comedian
Three grams is enough to be good.
Josh Wolf
And you start floating around.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, right. I can't have it to where I don't know where I am.
Josh Wolf
Okay, right. Because then you'll start doing that Elon salute.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah.
Josh Wolf
You can't. You can't mushroom around your Nazi thoughts.
Unnamed Comedian
Ye. No, it's enough to where, like, you're high and you. You know, people's faces are changing and you're. Which I love.
Josh Wolf
What have you been like, you're on stage. Like, do you remember it? Or is it like something like, vivid?
Unnamed Comedian
You know, People ask me all the time, is it a good show? And I'm always like, I have a good time. I mean, I can't speak to the people who were there. That's not my concern. You don't wake up sore.
Josh Wolf
Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
You don't wake up sore the next morning. Why? What happened in the world?
Josh Wolf
Mushrooms.
Unnamed Comedian
What kind of shows.
Josh Wolf
You put them in your mouth.
Unnamed Comedian
The crowd got a little interactive. You wake up sore, dude, I don't. You're going to the wrong massage.
Josh Wolf
I don't know that mushroom rape is a thing, but keep him away from him.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, yeah.
Josh Wolf
Just in case it's funny if he.
Unnamed Comedian
Just took things to get raped. Yeah. I don't know.
Josh Wolf
I don't know why that happened, but it happened and it hurt. So you're performing just the late show on Saturday, Friday, Late show, Friday.
Unnamed Comedian
I.
Josh Wolf
And you try to get through your normal act or you just let it fly?
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, I let it fly.
Josh Wolf
No kidding. You go out there. Do you like. Do you sometimes feel like it's not really kicking? I just better go to the. Go to the reserves.
Unnamed Comedian
Well, here's the truth, man.
Josh Wolf
I.
Unnamed Comedian
If I do five shows over a weekend, they're all five different shows.
Josh Wolf
Right.
Unnamed Comedian
And it's how I've kept myself interested over these years. Yeah. I guess if I'm trying to get a special together, I'll try to do it at the same hour. But other than that, man, I couldn't.
Josh Wolf
Do what comedians do because I couldn't do the same thing.
Unnamed Comedian
That's why I don't. And that's why people. I have people come to multiple shows over the weekend.
Josh Wolf
Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
Because they know that Friday night, if you go to the. Both the shows on Friday, they're going to be.
Josh Wolf
You should do both and just compare and contrast. I mean, that's a good idea. Like, I could go to the early Friday and the late Friday and go. Wow.
Unnamed Comedian
That's right.
Josh Wolf
There's a difference. When do you take them up?
Unnamed Comedian
Double feature.
Josh Wolf
Right after you're done.
Unnamed Comedian
Take them right after the first show.
Josh Wolf
Right.
Unnamed Comedian
And. And so sometimes I bring people on stage with me.
Josh Wolf
No kidding.
Unnamed Comedian
Yes. It gets a little weird, man. And. And my son, you know, and my son travels with me now. He opens for me.
Josh Wolf
Oh, no kidding.
Unnamed Comedian
And so we'll do like a q and A with me on mushrooms. There's a whole.
Josh Wolf
Is he on the. Is he ever doing. You don't want him doing it.
Unnamed Comedian
Well, he just got out of sober living.
Josh Wolf
Oh, yeah. You don't want to do it? You're feeling. An excellent example.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, dude. Well, here's the deal. I went sober with him for three months, and then I was like, this is boring.
Josh Wolf
So your ways are wrong. What was his choice? Coke.
Unnamed Comedian
So that wasn't. Listen, man, here's the deal. I wrestled with who I was.
Josh Wolf
Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
How I live my life. Very much. For the. When he told us he was an addict through his time in sober living and the home.
Josh Wolf
Did you know while he was flying.
Unnamed Comedian
No, but I had some questions. Like, I remember I called texting some of his comic friends.
Josh Wolf
Oh, no kidding.
Unnamed Comedian
And being like, what's going on with him? Right.
Josh Wolf
And they knew.
Unnamed Comedian
They knew. But obviously they didn't rat him out.
Josh Wolf
Right.
Unnamed Comedian
But. But for me, I did. If I'm being honest, as a father, I was just like, how much responsibility do I bear?
Josh Wolf
None.
Unnamed Comedian
And that's what. That's what. By the way, some addicts were like, it's. They said, did your parents do drugs? I go, no. And they said, do you? I'm like, I do a lot of them, so it doesn't have to do.
Josh Wolf
I actually. I always say that to people. Like, if your kids are drugged, it's your fault. Just to make them feel bad so they do a better job.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah.
Josh Wolf
It works for a while when they're young, but once you're old, if they're adults and they get into it.
Unnamed Comedian
He's 27.
Josh Wolf
Oh, yeah, that's.
Unnamed Comedian
And. And I've never.
Josh Wolf
That's the mother's fault.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah. He's 27. And I've always told him, like, for me, I've been open about smoking weed and taking mushrooms and that's it. And anytime we've ever talked about any other drugs, I've talked about, to me, I've. As a comic, I've seen my fair share of what coke does to people.
Josh Wolf
Yeah. It's not good.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah. And so I've always talked to him like it's the most insidious.
Josh Wolf
Doesn't make it funnier.
Unnamed Comedian
No, not at all. You think it does that first time?
Josh Wolf
Yeah, it's. It's not something that you see people on coke, you just like, get them out. Get them out of the room. Yeah. You're not making any sense.
Unnamed Comedian
No, dude. And you never see one on coke. And you're like, hey, invite. He's a good time. Invite that guy in. Why is he sweating like that?
Josh Wolf
I mean, we can all say it. I love Pablo, but it's enough already.
Unnamed Comedian
I don't know how he survived. Yeah, that's his teeth talking.
Josh Wolf
Yeah. Watch this. Holy cow. Probably can make your teeth.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, man.
Josh Wolf
No, I love him, but it's those moments when he's on his. His runs and you see people who've had it and he's an example we can all use in comedy because he says so. Yeah. But that is not something that makes you a better performer.
Unnamed Comedian
And I did, like I said, I struggled with it for a long time and, and talking about it with Jacob too. And I really, you know, I'm a dude who smoked every day for 30 years. That is something that I have pulled way, way, way back on. Mostly for him because, you know, he and I used to smoke weed together. So I don't. I don anymore. But the Friday night mushroom shows have been something that's awesome. Are part of my.
Josh Wolf
Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
What I do in the weekends.
Josh Wolf
That's great. Has he asked you, like, to. Because pulling back and so he's totally, completely sober, living like nothing's going in now.
Unnamed Comedian
Yes. You know what I mean? Like, you can't monitor it.
Josh Wolf
Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
I mean, he's a grown up and I don't. I can only take what he says.
Josh Wolf
Right. As the word.
Unnamed Comedian
But we all know addicts, they're not the most upfront people.
Josh Wolf
Be honest now too. Was he better when he was a little bit high as a comedian?
Unnamed Comedian
No.
Josh Wolf
Has it been tougher as a sober comic?
Unnamed Comedian
No, he's so much better.
Josh Wolf
Okay.
Unnamed Comedian
He's so much better. He's so much better. And we do, like, I've been telling jokes about him for years, so traveling with him is great. You know, he does his stand up, I do mine. Then we do like a Q and A together on stage because the audience has questions about him, for him, about us, all that stuff. Yeah. And then.
Josh Wolf
And meanwhile, you're. Everybody's melting. Yeah. Magic carpets.
Unnamed Comedian
Why is that potato talking to me? And I can Only do the Q and A on shrooms.
Josh Wolf
That's awesome.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah. And then. But also, dude, like, you know, my. In April, I will shoot an hour of just comedy music. This will be my second hour of just comedy music.
Josh Wolf
Cool.
Unnamed Comedian
In August, I shot an hour of straight stories. Like, so this weekend, one show will be probably 35, 40 minutes of just the music and stories. So one will be just stories.
Josh Wolf
Do you know what you're gonna do? Or you're like, yeah, this one. I'll do this.
Unnamed Comedian
Sometimes I bring the guitar on stage and I never use it.
Josh Wolf
No kidding. Yeah, that's. See, there you go. But I don't know.
Unnamed Comedian
But here's the deal, too. This is why I'm sure. What keeps you interested here. Same but different, I suppose. Right.
Josh Wolf
I have to be interested to follow your story.
Unnamed Comedian
But that's.
Josh Wolf
I guess I'm still interested in this.
Unnamed Comedian
I show up, but you know what I mean? Like, I have to keep it same but different.
Josh Wolf
Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
So.
Josh Wolf
Yeah, no, that's. The reason this is still appealing to me is because every day is new. Every day I drive to work, I don't know what's going to happen. Yeah. I have no clue what's going to happen in my car. And some days it's scary to think I got nothing. I gotta manufacture something in my head. I gotta remember a story. But then it comes, like, immediately, like. Oh, yeah. And it's. Something always sparks you. It's like if you. Yeah. That's what keeps this dance, like, kind of moving forward.
Unnamed Comedian
This is what I'm saying.
Josh Wolf
Yeah. That's fun.
Unnamed Comedian
Some shows, like my crowd work shows, are different than other people's crowd work shows. Other people go into the audience and kind of, you know, wreck their lives. I take questions.
Josh Wolf
Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
So for me, whatever you want to. Some people ask me questions about my career, about my. My act. Some people ask me opinions. Some people ask me, you know, advice. But it's all. It's a different way of doing crowd work, and it allows me to find new jokes, find new stories. But some nights, dude, I was in Atlanta a few weeks back and I did an hour and a half of just questions from the audience.
Josh Wolf
No kidding. And it's because the questions were. They were knocking them out there.
Unnamed Comedian
The audience question, dude, they're asking me questions. But I am confident enough in how long I've done this. I'm gonna find something funny. And what I love about those question ones is I find a way to weave the dude who asked the first question back into this, which is always.
Josh Wolf
The brilliance of crowd work is just keep it in remembering names. I always find that some of them are great setups. Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah. Without even knowing. Absolutely.
Josh Wolf
That's the fun of it. Well, see, now you're just selling tickets like crazy. Josh, this is the way it works. Mr. Wolf will be at Stand Up Live tonight, 10pm Prov tomorrow on Saturday. And what's on your mind in the world, like, what's going on in your life that you look around and say, this is society as I see it. Because everybody, like looking now has this wild opinion that we're either gonna all die tomorrow or it's the greatest time in the history of man.
Unnamed Comedian
This is the crazy, and it's neither.
Josh Wolf
I know. That's what I.
Unnamed Comedian
This is the crazy. But if you had done four years ago, the opposite. People would have thought the opposite things.
Josh Wolf
Everybody keeps calling the guy they don't like Hitler. And I just don't think he's coming back. No. And we keep rooting for it, evidently, because it's like, well, that guy's Hitler. No, your last guy was Hitler.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah.
Josh Wolf
I think Hitler's out.
Unnamed Comedian
Listen, stop bringing him up. The difference between this four years and the last four years is you're allowed to make fun of trans people now.
Josh Wolf
Right. Finally.
Unnamed Comedian
That's the only difference. You know what I mean? You're allowed to tell a Mexican joke now. You won't lose your job before. Right.
Josh Wolf
For saying odalay in the wrong time. Exactly. Whereas before, you're on eggshells.
Unnamed Comedian
That's right.
Josh Wolf
Or huev.
Unnamed Comedian
Before, you could have slipped on a tortilla and got really hurt.
Josh Wolf
Right. You're done. Well, I said it this morning. Now you can actually go down and tell someone. A woman in your work. Hey, your hair looks great today.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah.
Josh Wolf
Without feeling like somebody's pubic hair. Well, there. Now we can do that.
Unnamed Comedian
Exactly.
Josh Wolf
Put him before.
Unnamed Comedian
Well, there are rules on your refrigerator. Do's and don'ts in the kitchen.
Josh Wolf
Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
And I just read them and they're.
Josh Wolf
Oh, here at work. Yeah. I've never signed, so there are do's you should get.
Unnamed Comedian
I wish I had taken a picture.
Josh Wolf
What is it?
Unnamed Comedian
There are do's things you're allowed to do and don'ts. Things you're not allowed to do.
Josh Wolf
The refrigerator.
Unnamed Comedian
On the refrigerator to the people at work.
Josh Wolf
Okay.
Unnamed Comedian
And the don'ts don't apply right now.
Josh Wolf
Really.
Unnamed Comedian
You have. In between. It is, like, for, like, stuff you can put in the fridge. No, it's HR stuff. It's not on the fridge. It's like right to the left of it. Yeah, but it's HR stuff of things you're allowed to do.
Josh Wolf
What's the one that stood out? I've never seen it that you're not.
Unnamed Comedian
Allowed to make jokes about someone. Yeah, but that is not the whole job. That's out the window now.
Josh Wolf
Yeah, good. We're gonna just scratch it off and put it back. Brett will go get it. We'll just scratch off what we don't need and we'll X off the ones that no longer apply.
Unnamed Comedian
Here's what I really think. Except for probably a small percentage of people every four years, the president doesn't really affect your day to day life.
Josh Wolf
No, not at all.
Unnamed Comedian
Unless you mentally allow the President. Now every four years there are a small percentage of people that the actual but it's it's your local people who.
Josh Wolf
Affect oh my God. I've been saying that for 25 years on the air. So pay attention to your local people.
Unnamed Comedian
So, so, so to get so crazy about. And not only that. Dude, I'm at an age where I am not going to worry about something that might happen. Yes, when it happens, we'll come to those crossings. But why am I clenching my butthole? Do you know about something that might doom and gloom.
Josh Wolf
Morning sickness? Disg. Say things that are horrible. Gladiator.
Unnamed Comedian
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Josh Wolf
Morning sickness.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah. It's not worth. I want to be this dude at the prime rib.
Josh Wolf
Yeah. I want to be flipping out at a wedding that's dry because I didn't get enough.
Unnamed Comedian
Problem is not served.
Josh Wolf
Brady's.
Unnamed Comedian
That.
Josh Wolf
That's his problem. That might happen.
Unnamed Comedian
That's a present problem right now.
Josh Wolf
I agree.
Unnamed Comedian
Did you see this?
Josh Wolf
Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
I'm trying to see if I can get it to email so I can put it up.
Josh Wolf
I think we live in a world that's so great and nobody ever focuses on how amazing things are.
Unnamed Comedian
Right.
Josh Wolf
And it's the best time to be alive. In fact, an hour ago, I was discussing how I'm bad at shaving my balls. I don't. It looks like a werewolf and a half moon. I can't get it right, by the way. What, you want to see?
Unnamed Comedian
No, but are you straight raisin?
Josh Wolf
I try everything. I've tried. The razor's not a straight razor. I haven't done like. I'm sharpening a knife.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, well, your balls are long enough now where you can really stretch them out.
Josh Wolf
I've been in the water for about 10 years. I have got excessive balls.
Unnamed Comedian
Has to lay them on the side.
Josh Wolf
Of the leg within. Within 12 minutes of me mentioning that, somebody said, try. Try this bare nuts thing. I look it up. I've ordered it, It'll be here tomorrow.
Unnamed Comedian
I don't shave my nuts.
Josh Wolf
You don't? You keep them crazy like a bad goatee.
Unnamed Comedian
Well, they're not crazy.
Josh Wolf
Is the upper deck clean?
Unnamed Comedian
Here's. Now here's what I do. I trim it up.
Josh Wolf
Yep.
Unnamed Comedian
I have waxed my butthole one time.
Josh Wolf
Yeah, I tried that.
Unnamed Comedian
You know what? You know what's crazy? It didn't. So I thought it was going to hurt a lot.
Josh Wolf
And the pull.
Unnamed Comedian
I thought I had to do it for our show. My son and I did a show together.
Josh Wolf
You did this with your son?
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah.
Josh Wolf
Okay. Is that on the list of things we can't do at work? No.
Unnamed Comedian
Not a Friday late night show.
Josh Wolf
No son should see his dad's butthole.
Unnamed Comedian
I'm not sure if I told you guys this. We shot a show called Family Tussle where we challenged each other to stuff. And like, we challenged each other to a boxing match and some other stuff. And the loser had to do something, whatever the winner. So my son picked that. I had to get a full wax front and back by this dude named Enrique.
Josh Wolf
You found the guy?
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, dude. And, yo, first of all, Enrique. So I went. I went butthole wax.
Josh Wolf
Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
And he pulled. And you know, the esthetician room is kind of small, so the. The people with the cameras were on one side, Enrique was on the other. So I made my son stand at the bottom end.
Josh Wolf
Oh, and like looking at childbirth out of your dad. So no wonder he was uncomfortable.
Unnamed Comedian
Father, are you. He rips the butt. He does the butt. And it didn't hurt. So I said to him, it's such a dumb guy thing, but I thought it was going to hurt. So I asked the esthetician. I go to him, I go, hey, let me ask you a nice question. He goes, yeah. I go, do I have a. Do I have a pretty tough butthole? He was like, what, John Wayne? I was like, well, it's a lot of work. It didn't hurt. And I thought it was ganu. Do you. Would you think I have a tough butthole? And he just goes, you know, I'm not allowed to answer that question.
Josh Wolf
Why?
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, that's what I said. Why?
Josh Wolf
It's not a HEPA violation. I didn't say comp it to someone else. Yeah, it's a hole.
Unnamed Comedian
I mean, is that on the refrigerator?
Josh Wolf
Don't talk about other people's holes. It's number four.
Unnamed Comedian
Oh, yeah, there's your don't.
Josh Wolf
All right. What? I can't see that. What does that say?
Unnamed Comedian
Listen and think before you speak. But look at the don't.
Josh Wolf
The don't says yell, scream or use offensive language. Profanity laced language. That's the show.
Unnamed Comedian
That's. Yes. Right. Okay.
Josh Wolf
Proposition or touch someone in an offensive.
Unnamed Comedian
Manner, which we're allowed to do now.
Josh Wolf
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. I believe. Grab them by the is.
Unnamed Comedian
So we're in good shape.
Josh Wolf
Show or share pictures, cartoons, graphics, or tell jokes of a sexual nature. The show, pretty much. This is what's keeping this building up, by the way. It's the weirdest part. Everything that says not to do is the reason we pay for things we're on. Use disparaging, degrading, or insulting language about individuals or groups.
Unnamed Comedian
The show every day.
Josh Wolf
Yeah, that's retarded. Look at the other way. You see it, hear it, or are subjected to inappropriate behaviors. Well, no other shows as good as ours, so they don't do it as well.
Unnamed Comedian
Scratch out the don't say. And this is why I'm here. Yeah.
Josh Wolf
This should be called the don't show. And the do's.
Unnamed Comedian
We don't do it all.
Josh Wolf
Anyway, the new show is down and think before we speak.
Unnamed Comedian
Other people's viewpoints why? Yeah, they're stupid. I don't want to hear what you have to say.
Josh Wolf
Tell others if their words or behaviors offend you and report the behavior if it continues. You're getting people fired. You rat. Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
You're a snitch.
Josh Wolf
That's a. Don't.
Unnamed Comedian
Rats get bad.
Josh Wolf
Snitches get stitches.
Unnamed Comedian
I didn't quite. I was a little confused when I saw it because it felt contrary to.
Josh Wolf
What I was about what you were walking into.
Unnamed Comedian
The part of what I knew about you guys.
Josh Wolf
That's why I'm here.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah.
Josh Wolf
Not selling tickets on the dues.
Unnamed Comedian
No, no. Zero.
Josh Wolf
People say something to me. That is. That is an offensive profanity. Lace. That is nice. Why would you do that? That's not. No entertainment in that dude.
Unnamed Comedian
What are you, my mother? Right.
Josh Wolf
I'd rather hear about your son staring directly into your SARLACC 2.
Unnamed Comedian
Can I tell you what I did to him? So he lost a competition, and I made him sit out on Ventura Boulevard on a Saturday afternoon in Studio City, California, at a table with a sign in front of it that said, ask me for tips about living with herpes.
Josh Wolf
That's awesome.
Unnamed Comedian
Man.
Josh Wolf
That must have been a traffic jam.
Unnamed Comedian
Can I tell you now?
Josh Wolf
Does he have them?
Unnamed Comedian
No.
Josh Wolf
Do you know that for sure? Because you might have really hurt. Yeah. You're gonna drive him right back to a mountain of white dude.
Unnamed Comedian
The best part was the older gay dudes who probably had herpes who were like, hey, you got it? I got it. And they came up and tried to hit on him.
Josh Wolf
Can't catch it. Tw.
Unnamed Comedian
So funny. One guy was like, so should we talk about it after you're done with your work? You want to hang out? Yeah.
Josh Wolf
Are you flaring up?
Unnamed Comedian
No.
Josh Wolf
Are we good?
Unnamed Comedian
Wow. It was pretty. The show's called Family Tussle. It's on my YouTube page.
Josh Wolf
Fantastic.
Unnamed Comedian
We did a lot of fun things and a lot of terrible things to each other. He made me get a tattoo right here on your back. Yeah. That. His name is Jacob. He made me get a tattoo on my back that says, Jacob is my biological dad. I have that on my. I didn't tell my wife about it. And so I came home, and it was like a week later, and I take my shirt off. She goes, do you have a tattoo on your back? And I was like, oh, I didn't. Yeah, let's talk about that one later.
Josh Wolf
We'll bring it up.
Unnamed Comedian
She was like, what does that say? I go, no, no, you don't wanna. You don't wanna. You don't wanna know what that one says.
Josh Wolf
Jacob is my biological tattoo. You two shouldn't be allowed to hang out to him. I don't know if CPS can get involved at 27, but they need to.
Unnamed Comedian
No, they can't.
Josh Wolf
Could you imagine ever seeing your father's butthole?
Unnamed Comedian
No.
Josh Wolf
Yeah. You don't want that, right?
Unnamed Comedian
No. But you know what?
Josh Wolf
Like, unless he's, like, in the hospital.
Unnamed Comedian
Just don't think about it when you.
Josh Wolf
My dad and I have a rule that if ever a doctor tells us about the other, he'll never be able to clean himself again. That you go in and just do the pillow over the face. We're pillow. We have the agreement for both of us. I never. He never wants to wipe my ass, and I never want to wipe his.
Unnamed Comedian
I've given the hose edict, right?
Josh Wolf
You hose it up.
Unnamed Comedian
You don't have to wipe me, but just hose me down. Yeah, I'll go up against the wall like you're searching so co. And yeah, I'll silk wood it out. Just give me. And not one of the ones from the kitchen sink. That's not powerful enough.
Josh Wolf
I want to be pushed against the wall.
Unnamed Comedian
I need a hose.
Josh Wolf
Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah.
Josh Wolf
I want to kind of fall in love with it. I kind of want to. I don't want to be.
Unnamed Comedian
I want to.
Josh Wolf
Want to get away, but I'm not trying that.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, I want to be able to say, give me the hose again.
Josh Wolf
Perfect. Let me hear what you would do if you would change. This is the thing we always ask, the last question. Josh Wilson, 10pm proud this weekend, Tonight, Stand up live. Tickets available at standuplive.com or 10pmprev.com, change the world. You've got one thing to do. You're in charge of the world for a day. What's the first thing you're like, I'm getting rid of or I'm adding this?
Unnamed Comedian
Oh, I think everybody's taken mushrooms.
Josh Wolf
You would get. Mushrooms would be a mandatory take from.
Unnamed Comedian
Microdose up to macro. But everybody needs to expand their minds.
Josh Wolf
I misunderstood. You said 3 grams. I like milligrams. That's where I'm dancing.
Unnamed Comedian
No grams.
Josh Wolf
Yeah, you said grams. That is a lot. 3 grams is a.
Unnamed Comedian
When you were like, that's a microdose. I'm like, this dude's out of his mind. He's like, there it is right there.
Josh Wolf
That's. That's your.
Unnamed Comedian
Ask me for tips about living with herpes sitting on him right there. That's Him.
Josh Wolf
And he's on that. That is. People don't know that is a road.
Unnamed Comedian
That's Ventura Boulevard, Main Street. And I put him. I put him right next to an ice cream shop in a toy store.
Josh Wolf
Did the optometrist he's in front of agree to this?
Unnamed Comedian
No, that store was closed.
Josh Wolf
You say the guys like out there going, hey, come on, enough.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, this. And did there was the one with me getting waxed. Yeah, it was right before that.
Josh Wolf
That's a couple of. Just wandering up, seemingly not asking, are you okay?
Unnamed Comedian
So I had my brother. There I am.
Josh Wolf
Yeah, there's your butthole. There's you.
Unnamed Comedian
And I had my brother.
Josh Wolf
There's my brother and your brother's senior butthole.
Unnamed Comedian
So here's the deal. I. In the morning, I called him. I go, because he's a photographer. I go, hey, dude, are you working? And he goes, no. I go, hey, I'm, you know, I'm shooting this show with Jacob. I got. I can pay you to be set photographer for a day. Oh, this is the CVS where he lost. So I made him go up to the counter and ask the woman where they kept the extra small condoms. And he was like, I had it in his ear. I go, ask her if they have condoms that are smaller than a double A battery but bigger than aaa. Here's the tattoo.
Josh Wolf
Here's the tattoo. Look at you two. You're going to kill each other and stop showing your butthole to family. That's the thing. I want you to change.
Unnamed Comedian
And then don't come to the holidays at my house. Yeah, the holiday ham is something complet.
Josh Wolf
Different animals at your place.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, honey baked for sure.
Josh Wolf
Now you got me again.
Unnamed Comedian
I was gone.
Josh Wolf
Now I'm back. I knew we were going to eat it.
Unnamed Comedian
I'll get in fights over there. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Nobody's cutting you in line for ham at my house.
Josh Wolf
This is amazing. All right, what's it called on the website?
Unnamed Comedian
What is it called? Family tussle.
Josh Wolf
A family tussle. All right.
Unnamed Comedian
But it is a, it is a good time.
Josh Wolf
Just awful seeing your father's pubic hair.
Unnamed Comedian
He, he, he. So I made my brother so bad when I, when I called him, I go, hey, are you working today? And he was like, no. I go, you want to take some pictures on set? He was like, yeah, dude. He goes, what do. What kind of lens should I bring? I go, bring your biggest lens. And. And so he goes, okay. And when he pulled in, he goes, what are we doing here? I go, you're at the business end.
Josh Wolf
So he.
Unnamed Comedian
He was at the business end with a lens where you could take a picture of Mars with. And he sent.
Josh Wolf
Dude.
Unnamed Comedian
He sent me a picture two weeks later. And it was just a picture. I had text. I go, what is that? I couldn't tell. Is this the moon? He was like, that's a close up of your butthole.
Josh Wolf
Were you pleased?
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah, actually.
Josh Wolf
All right. I don't know how I feel about it.
Unnamed Comedian
I was like, it looks like you can land a ship on there. Smooth surface. There was no discolorations, no moles or something strange. It didn't look cancerous.
Josh Wolf
If it was a woman's ass, would you still be like, I'm staying here.
Unnamed Comedian
A little too much hair.
Josh Wolf
Little too hair. Okay. Yeah.
Unnamed Comedian
But he took pre hair.
Josh Wolf
Oh, yeah, he took. Want that? No. You know what's even worse than that? I. I remember years ago, there was a girl that I was. I liked, but a friend of mine told me, he goes, it would be better if she was hairy because she's just got two or three rogue ones.
Unnamed Comedian
You can pick the two or three.
Josh Wolf
That's what I'm saying. That's lazy.
Unnamed Comedian
Yeah.
Josh Wolf
So then you're like, well, then there's a maintenance issue down here.
Unnamed Comedian
That's right.
Josh Wolf
Yeah. So I, you know, I didn't end up doing anything with that. But you think about that. I wanted to until he told me that and she was off the table.
Unnamed Comedian
There is something about the rogue. Like, have you ever. I remember kissing a girl's boob once and thinking, I got my own hair in my mouth and it was like.
Josh Wolf
A. I saw she's Italian as well. So we can say that we're allowed to do that.
Unnamed Comedian
Sorry, Brett, that's in the do's.
Josh Wolf
That's the dues. That's on the do list for sure. When kissing the nipple of an Italian co worker, don't mention the hair. That's the new. Don't. That's perfect. Josh Wolf is at the standup live tonight in Tempe Improv tomorrow on Saturday. Always a pleasure, man. Thank you for coming by, guys.
Unnamed Comedian
It was great seeing you. You look the same.
Josh Wolf
He's working on it.
Unnamed Comedian
He's been doing it for years.
Josh Wolf
Maintenance is hard. You do expect it worse.
Unnamed Comedian
Go through.
Josh Wolf
Look, the fact he's alive. Surprised, not gonna lie. Yeah, Josh. Thanks, man. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station, UPD.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: January 23, 2025 - Josh Wolf - Stand Up Live And Tempe Improv - In Studio
Host: John Holmberg
Guest: Josh Wolf
Release Date: January 23, 2025
The episode kicks off with host John Holmberg promoting upcoming comedy shows across various venues in Arizona. He highlights performances at Tempe Improv featuring Paul Versey and Beth Stelling, Desert Ridge Improv with Sarah Weinschenk and Joe Derosa, and Stand Up Live showcasing Lil Rel. Listeners are encouraged to purchase tickets through the respective websites.
Josh Wolf interjects with a promotion for the Core Institute, sharing a testimonial about overcoming pain and encouraging listeners to seek expert help. This segment includes humorous exchanges about the advertisement's content, leading into discussions about upcoming shows:
The conversation seamlessly transitions into planning for future performances at Stand Up Live and Tempe Improv, with playful remarks about indulging in humor.
Josh Wolf delves into his unique approach to stand-up comedy, candidly discussing his use of mushrooms before performances. This segment explores the interplay between altered states of consciousness and comedic creativity:
They debate the merits and challenges of performing under the influence, with Josh highlighting the spontaneity it brings:
The discussion shifts to more personal territories as the comedian shares his experiences with addiction and his relationship with his son:
They explore the complexities of overcoming addiction, the influence of parental behavior, and the humorous side of navigating sobriety within the family framework.
Addressing societal norms, Josh and the comedian discuss the evolving landscape of permissible humor in the workplace and public spheres:
They critique restrictive workplace guidelines and advocate for greater freedom in comedic expression, highlighting the balance between humor and sensitivity.
The duo shares a series of offbeat and humorous stories, touching on personal grooming mishaps and the dynamics of performing comedy with family members:
These anecdotes provide insight into the lighter, more irreverent side of stand-up comedy, emphasizing the importance of personal experiences in shaping comedic material.
As the episode wraps up, Josh and the comedian continue their playful banter, reflecting on their collaborative performances and teasing future content:
They reiterate details about upcoming shows at Stand Up Live and Tempe Improv, encouraging listeners to attend and engage with their comedic endeavors.
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of promotional content, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions on the art of comedy. Through candid conversations with Josh Wolf, listeners gain an understanding of the nuanced balance between humor, personal struggles, and societal norms. The episode underscores the dynamic nature of stand-up comedy and the personal experiences that fuel it, all while maintaining a lighthearted and engaging atmosphere.