02-06-23 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Date: February 6, 2023

Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Broadcast: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Duration: Approx. 1 hour 30 minutes

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1. Super Bowl Phoenix Influx

As Super Bowl weekend approaches, John Holmberg and his team discuss the anticipated influx of fans into Phoenix. They highlight the challenges the city faces with the increased traffic, accommodations, and overall chaos expected during this major event.

• John Holmberg [05:30]: "Today's the day they all start kind of slow trickling in. Thursday will be the day we see the planes land."

2. Commentary on Visiting Fans

The hosts engage in a humorous yet critical discussion about fans arriving from the East Coast, particularly focusing on Philadelphians. They stereotype these visitors as tough but ultimately disruptive to the local vibe.

• Brett Vesely [02:28]: "Careful, though. Then those Philadelphians are going to feel."
• John Holmberg [03:02]: "Philadelphians always think they're tougher than you. They're never going to concede to Phoenix toughness."

3. Issues at the NFL Experience

John reports on disturbances at the NFL Experience, mentioning that some individuals have already caused significant problems by stealing expensive production equipment. The team reflects on their previous positive experiences but anticipates worsening conditions as more fans arrive.

• John Holmberg [03:02]: "They already messed up the Super Bowl Experience. I have locals enjoyed that."

4. Grammy Awards Discussion

The conversation shifts to the recent Grammy Awards, where the hosts express their opinions on the winners, particularly Harry Styles and Beyoncé. They debate the legitimacy of Grammy wins, citing the proliferation of categories and comparing current artists to legendary figures.

• John Holmberg [12:33]: "The 50 years of hip hop thing was ridiculously cool. And they had like... Who's that? Who's that?"
• Brett Vesely [17:44]: "Someone made a list of artists that have never won a Grammy. Nickelback."

5. Lizzo and Body Positivity

The hosts critique Lizzo's frequent mentions of her body positivity on stage. They juxtapose her remarks with societal expectations and gender norms, providing a satirical take on body image discussions in the entertainment industry.

• John Holmberg [19:03]: "But you know what Sam Smith didn't do? Talked about how fatty was what DJ Khaled never does."

6. Chinese Balloon Incident

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around the recent incident involving Chinese balloons. The team speculates humorously about the government's handling of the situation, expressing skepticism about the official explanations and the decision to shoot down the balloons.

• John Holmberg [45:50]: "It was what you'd do if a hot air balloon blew up. It deflates and it just sinks to the earth."
• Brady Bogen [47:00]: "We have three over there. These Chinese balloons are all over."

7. Mountain Rescues and Tourists

The hosts share anecdotes about tourists struggling on Phoenix's mountain trails, highlighting the lack of preparedness and the cultural clash between local residents and visitors. They predict an increase in mountain rescue operations as more inexperienced hikers take on challenging trails.

• John Holmberg [56:55]: "I'm worried. Mountain rescues. I'm guessing the over under would be what, three. Three good mountain rescues by Saturday because I gotta fill time."

8. Listener Emails and Personal Stories

Throughout the show, listeners share personal stories and questions. One notable email from Ben Robertson praises the show's ability to blend humor with logical discussions, emphasizing the hosts' unique delivery style.

• Ben Roberson [75:50]: "I really don't even care for most music that you play, but I don't and will not switch. Because listening to you is a great start every day."

9. Advertising and Promotions

Interspersed with content are advertisements for local businesses, including Eric's Family Barbecue, MMP Guns, Fisher Tools, and Hooters. These segments are seamlessly integrated into the show, promoting various services and special offers.

• John Holmberg [00:00]: "The podcast you are listening to of Holmberg's morning sickness is brought to you by my friends at Eric's Family Barbecue in Avondale."

10. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Events

As the show nears its end, the hosts recap the week's events, encourage listeners to engage with upcoming local happenings, and tease future segments featuring special guests like Craig Gass.

• John Holmberg [91:24]: "We've got all this to look forward to all week. The NFL experience will be fun. And then you got the Phoenix Open, which is going to be our crown jewel of."

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [05:30]: "Today’s the day they... They’re coming in, though. They’re on their way."
• Brett Vesely [02:28]: "Careful, though. Then those Philadelphians are going to feel."
• John Holmberg [19:03]: "But you know what Sam Smith didn't do? Talked about how fatty was what DJ Khaled never does."

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Conclusion:

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness provides a humorous yet critical look at the impending Super Bowl festivities in Phoenix, interwoven with commentary on recent cultural events like the Grammys and the Chinese balloon incident. The hosts maintain their signature blend of satire and sharp observations, engaging listeners with both local insights and national pop culture critiques. Despite the challenges discussed, the show remains an entertaining start to the day for its Arizona audience.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

The podcast you are listening to of Holmberg's morning sickness is brought to you by my friends at Eric's Family Barbecue in Avondale. Meat mesquite Repeat. Trust me on this one. You've had barbecue before, but you haven't had it this good. Eric's Family barbecue in Avondale ericsfamilybbq.com Hey.

[Brett Vesely]

Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are Incredible.

[Brady Bogen]

Yes sir. MMP Guns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys. And the best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[Brett Vesely]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brady Bogen]

We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns.com we're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Brady Bogen]

The choice is simple Brett. M P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We we also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off, all new firearms are 10% off and we have Ammo Inc. 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Brett Vesely]

Well it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Brady Bogen]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com.

[John Holmberg]

Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202. Emmett Clint Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also [e-mail] CUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad Fisher Tools. If we don't have it, we can't Sell it. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday. It's going to get weird around here for a few days. This is the morning sickness. It's 5. 45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. Big Dick Toledo. And we're ready to go for the Super Bowl Phoenix open week. And it's just going to be unfortunately, absolutely perfect here all week long. So turn the root on, everybody. This is the last chance. Today's the day they. They all start kind of slow trickling in. Thursday will be the day. We see the planes land. And they're coming in, though. They're on their way.

[Brady Bogen]

Restrictions.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Everything that you do do with a chip on your shoulder as a Phoenician, just don't. Don't welcome them.

[Brett Vesely]

Careful, though. Then those Philadelphians are going to feel.

[John Holmberg]

Like right at home. If you're dicks, Philadelphia Philadelphians always think they're tougher than you. They're never going to concede to Phoenix toughness. So they'll turn into bigger dicks, and then no one will get along and they'll just go home. They're not staying. We can't even let them think to stay. They're the ones that come. Here are the Philadelphians with money. And that's a scary proposition.

[Brady Bogen]

Old money.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, scary. To think of it. Awful. Philadelphians holding cash, wanting to buy winter condo. No, no. Tell them we're out of water. They'll lose their minds. And we're running out of water. You're gonna say, gotta have water. Yeah, they're coming to Kansas City. You're coming. You're going. You people don't understand. Like, you just. You'll fumble around looking at big buildings and stuff.

[Brady Bogen]

There will be about 30 more. 30 new Sylvester Stallone statues.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what will. That's what it. And look, to be honest, Philadelphians, your. Your hero, Rocky so didn't want to be part of Philadelphia as a native. He developed a Brooklyn accent. So you go figure out what, what, what Philly really means. Your hero talks like he's from somewhere else. And you guys didn't pick nobody from Philly. Picked up on that. He's one of ours from Philly. You know, he loves our water. Nope, he's not from Philly. He talks. Oh, you know, I'm really. I'm from Philadelphia. Nobody sounds like that in Philadelphia. Because you know why the tougher city is Brooklyn. You guys just play tough. The only thing you're remembered for, Philly, is giving Tom Hanks AIDS that's it. And maybe the Flex Seal guy's starting to get a little. But, yeah, ask most people. Like, well, Rocky was clearly born and raised in Brooklyn. Ended up in Philadelphia. No.

[Brady Bogen]

Always mess up his. Mess up his first name. Is it Vince Papelli or whatever?

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Vince. No, that's. No, that's not Flex Seal guy. Phil.

[Brady Bogen]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Vince Papali or whatever. I don't know who the. Yeah. Oh, you're talking about Miracle. Yeah, we're talking about that Miracle, the Philadelphia native that played street football. Yeah. Nobody for, you know, we don't have. As Phoenicians, we don't wander around saying, well, I'm talking to this guy, and he tells me, you know, busboy comes over, got his thumb in the water, and I'm from Phoenix, so I ain't dealing with. We don't have that I'm from Phoenix thing. But Philadelphia people will say that, you know, the Uber driver turns to me, says, where you guys want to go? I'm from Philly. I don't need people talking to me like that. Like, what does that have to do with anything? Like, you're just. You're intolerant of all words. We need something. I'm from Phoenix. I tip really big, and I walked away, and everybody was happy. I'm casual and nice. We got to kill that vibe.

[Brett Vesely]

Most of those back east cities, though.

[Brady Bogen]

I mean, if they find out you're from. You're probably not used to this weather.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they'll weather us to death. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Most of those cities back east are garbage.

[Brett Vesely]

And Boston and just Philly screams out.

[John Holmberg]

I'm from Philly at every turn. Guy had my two dads on his tv. Well, I'm from Philly. I putting up with that. Like, what does that have to do. You just didn't like a TV show. It has nothing to do with where you were brought up. I'm from Philly. Well, get used to it for a week, then they'll be gone. Hopefully, all of them will be gone. Hopefully.

[Brett Vesely]

Tweakers unite. Starting the Sawzalls. Ready? Let's get those catalytic converters, those rental.

[John Holmberg]

Cars and everything, and screw up their entire trip. Oh, I went outside. My catalytic converter was going, I'm from Philly. I had to look at this and wonder, what's being from Philly have to do with anything other than that I scream it at every turn.

[Brady Bogen]

This wouldn't happen in Philly.

[John Holmberg]

This guy's driving the speed limit. He's obeying all the rules. He's stopping at stops. And I'm from Philly. I say, hey, Uber driver, I'm from Philly. So what? So what? I follow the street laws, you idiot. Sit down. So the Philly people will be here and then the golfers are gonna start rolling in and that's gonna be quite a show. So we've got ourselves a week on our hands and already downtown somebody made a mockery and a mess of the NFL Experience and stole a hundred thousand dollars worth of production equipment. Oh, like the first day. So two people wandered up and got a bunch of equipment. It might be from our neighbors here at Video West. It was a third party group. So they just went and grabbed probably just a couple of cameras at this point. Those things are so expensive, it's ridiculous. So they're trying to figure that out. But they already messed up the Super Bowl Experience. I have locals enjoyed that. Yesterday I had a bunch of friends go over to the NFL Experience and if you haven't been, today and tomorrow are the last real good days to go where you can actually get in there and not wait in line. It turns into Disneyland so fast. But I've been there a couple of times, luckily. Well, I've had Super bowl tickets. So when you have the super bowl ticket, you get to go in on Sunday with just super bowl ticket holders. They don't let anybody else in. So it goes from 200,000 people, no joke, to down to the 70 that'll be at the game. And they're not all the things. It feels huge with 50,000 people in it. And I was there when it was in town here. I went on a Monday or Tuesday and it was empty and I got to run through the whole thing. And it is an. They do an amazing job putting that, just making it fun and museuming and you get to see all the cool stuff and the Lombardi trophies and all the super bowl rings are there. And then all the camera on your way out. Yeah, you grab a hundred thousand dollar camera and you walk out the door from Video West. They just leave them laying around. But yeah, it's, it's worth going. If you can take today and do it, it's worth doing it tomorrow. Wednesday, Thursday, forget it. It's going to be, it's going to be an ass show downtown in a huge way. But it will. You know what? We'll deal with it. I had dinner with our boss man Tripp on Saturday and he goes, it's just one week. It's going to be a pain in the ass. But it's just one boy. He's absolutely right.

[Brett Vesely]

So we won't see him all week then, right? He's probably out of town.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's got stuff to do. Yeah, he's definitely.

[Brady Bogen]

He's a lot of app.

[John Holmberg]

He's in Seattle today. He's, he's, he's bouncing around. He's. He's being the corporate butterfly. You guys. Deal with it. You guys, it's one week. I'm not going to be part of it. But it's only one week. And he's not wrong. So we'll just tolerate. And I feel most sorry for people who work up in North Scottsdale because it's going to be all week for you guys. Nuts. But it's beautiful. And the weather. Good Lord. Looking at the west, 75, 76, 75, Saturday, Friday and Saturday and Sunday. It's going to be perfect.

[Brady Bogen]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Chamber of Commerce. The worst part is it's all going to be televised. If you don't like football, you probably like golf. If you don't like golf, you probably like football or both. And it is. We are going to look beautiful on tv. And I can only imagine that the people who live in New Hampshire this weekend, who faced Mount Washington 108 degrees below zero with wind chill, watching this on TV one week after that, thinking, you know, we should leave. We should go there. And then they dragged their ideas over here. I'm so against all out. Yeah. People are against Mexican immigration. I'm against interstate immigrants. You stay where you are. Just. Just leave us be. We grew. We're done. The smart people figured it out first. People. So you aren't from here. Yep. But that's the way we are now. So we all kind of made this happen. And that's enough. We got to stop being on TV.

[Brady Bogen]

So much, check out the resorts and then go back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Show up for a couple of weeks. No new residents. That's the deal. We don't want you moving in here because you'll bring your stupid ideas and your nonsense and your, I'm from Philly. And. And then you'll just come here and complain. There's no, like, you know, diversity. Where's the Philly cheese? The West Philly town. We don't want a Philly town. We didn't build one in. You got no Chinatown, right? You ever seen one of those in one of the major cities? It's dump. There's not one nice Chinatown. There's laundry hanging from building to building. They do it like China. I don't want. I don't want anything about China here. The balloons and stuff, that's fine. Float over us. China, we don't care about that. But don't land.

[Brady Bogen]

Trench gate is beautiful, right?

[John Holmberg]

Usually. Usually that. Wow, that's kind of neat architecture. God, everything smells like weird corn chips and some type of fish.

[Brett Vesely]

Just go to lilies. That's where it's at. You're fine.

[John Holmberg]

There's Chinese restaurants. We don't need a whole gaggle of it where you look up and you see actual China in action. Nothing about China is appealing to me. We don't want to rebuild it here. They don't bring the best parts. It's not like, you know, wall replica. It's the cruddy, you know, gigantic, messy bazaars that they put together. The wet markets. No, I don't want to Chinat. I was in Chinatown in New York. I was in Chinatown in Los Angeles, and I was in Chinatown in Chicago. All of them are horrible. The best Mexican food I've ever had. Chinatown in Los Angeles, ever. Yeah, I know, because they put it on outside. And these Mexicans weren't stupid. No, it stinks in there, doesn't it? Home. This is some good stuff. Have a burrito. And I did, and it was amazing.

[Brady Bogen]

It's the same thing when you go to the Chinatown in San Francisco.

[John Holmberg]

Once you go through the gate, well, it's a dump. It's gross. Yeah, we're always getting blamed. You guys don't have any culture. We got Indians. Go down to the Heard Museum and experience our culture. That's rude. It's racist that you say we don't have culture because the whole place is Indian based. Not that culture. You know, real stuff like Billy has. Oh, God. Go give Tom Hanks AIDS again. Get out of here.

[Brett Vesely]

We got turquoise and kachina dolls. We have our.

[John Holmberg]

You guys are so tough. The first thing that comes to mind when I think of Philadelphia is hauling oats. How tough can that city be, really? Philly soul and it's two white guys. That's how your badass is.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll keep them, though. I like that.

[John Holmberg]

I love hauling oats, but that's not a city. I'm sitting there flexing behind you guys. Watch it. We're from Philly. We'll throw hauling oats at you. I'm like, all right, I'm not afraid of you.

[Brady Bogen]

I can't go for that.

[John Holmberg]

You're just loud and short, that's all. Anyway, did you guys watch the Grammys last night?

[Brady Bogen]

I saw one category the Best rap album. And then I went back and forth in between. I checked out the Jimmy Fallon's Password.

[John Holmberg]

I was watching Jimmy Fallon's Password is Anxiety on television. Actually, the Grammys were pretty good. Last night. They did a 50th anniversary of hip Hop celebration with the Roots.

[Brett Vesely]

It was Fallon there. I mean, the Roots were there.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they probably had them tied to something like, I gotta get out there. I gotta be part of this. 50 years of hip hop is me.

[Brady Bogen]

He's trying to run off the Password to get over there.

[John Holmberg]

The. The 50 years of hip hop thing was ridiculously cool. And they had like. I kept going, who's that? Who's that? And it was like, I think Sugar Hill Gang, the remaining members of that. And all these people just kept popping up. And then Busta Rhymes came out and just devastated the stage and run dmc, what's left of them. And boom, boom, boom, boom. And they put. It was one long song, and it was unreal how good it was. And it was all Quest love from the Roots put this whole thing together, and it was like, get up and dancing. Remember last year at the super bowl halftime show? Holy crap, is this good? Yeah, it was that. It was that good. It was pretty amazing. My favorite part of the Grammys last night was right before Harry Styles performed. He was introduced by his producer and longtime friend. Good, like a best friend and the guy who produces him. And he told the story about how he doesn't call Harry Styles Harry anymore. He calls him Gary. And the reason he calls him Gary is because he wants him to remember who he is. Everybody else knows him as Harry. He knows him as who he really is. So he's changed his name to kind of make him like, you're Gar. Deep down, I know who you are. So let's not blow up the ego and the. Let's not lose ourselves in this, you know, tempest of fame. I'm gonna call you Gary to bring you back down to earth. The man's name is Kid Harpoon. Who said that? And I laughed for half hour. And they're like, kid Harpoon wants to keep Harry Styles ego in check.

[Brady Bogen]

That comes from Kid Harp.

[John Holmberg]

I'm Kid Harpoon. You think that's probably how the conversation. Hey, you know, I'm feeling pretty gray about myself right now. I don't know, maybe Olivia Wilde and I are going to do something nutty. Hey, look, I have to tell you something airy. I'm going to start calling you Gary because you're getting a little big for your Britches. Don't you think? You think so, Kid Harpoon? Do you think I'm the one getting big for me britches? Kid Harpoon. Names are important, aren't they? Kid Harpoon. He wants. He had to tell. People call me Kid Harpoon. That's my. Well, your name's Trevor. No, it's Kid Harpoon. Now. I'm feeling pretty. I'm feeling pretty good about this. I want people to know me as Kid Harpoon. But he keeps other people down, you know, like, that's not.

[Brady Bogen]

Keep him grounded.

[John Holmberg]

Look, Harry Styles, the stage name of yours. That is your actual name. I'm not gonna go with that anymore. I'm gonna call you Gary. Meanwhile, you call me Kid Harpoon, and we're gonna keep each other in check. Kid Harpoon. Harry Styles won the night with the big win at the end. And everybody's crying that it's, you know, a conspiracy against Beyonce, that weird white people from England will beat her every year for album of the year because.

[Brady Bogen]

Even though she's a record holder, she's.

[John Holmberg]

Got Adele beater a few years ago, Beck beater, Taylor Swift beater, and now Harry Styles. Wow. So, you know Jay Z and her Gotta be pills. Well, they win all the other awards. She's got 32 total Grammys, and Queen Bay didn't leave early enough to make it to the performance.

[Brady Bogen]

She missed the first off this Hungarian British conductor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Sir George. Salty. Yeah, he had 31.

[John Holmberg]

He was pretty good, that guy. That guy had it together. People remember him. It's a record you break and you're just. You know, it's like DiMaggio's streak. Everybody knew about it, but Beyonce has more Grammys than anyone else.

[Brady Bogen]

But how about going into it, she's like, I'm gonna get it this year. I just need four to pass him.

[John Holmberg]

She got him.

[Brady Bogen]

Got him.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she got three earlier in the day and then one during the broadcast cast. And.

[Brady Bogen]

And the one that she got earlier said, oh, she's not able to make it. She's stuck in traff.

[John Holmberg]

She wasn't there. She didn't even show up for the first one.

[Brady Bogen]

Just say she's not coming till later.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, she. They had a table and everything. They thought she'd be there, and she was. She was trapped in traffic. She's one of the few. But it's. That record that she's got is kind of misleading to me because, like, say, the Beatles, for instance, or Whitney Houston, even. They didn't have. They weren't nominated 30 times. A year with Best Electric Dance, Best Pop, Best this. Like the cat. There's a hundred more categories than there used to be, so it's easier to win, like, multiple Grammys in a night. If you have an album that did well, it's going to be nominated in several different categories. And, you know, it's got Best R B, Best Pop, Best Vocal, Best Pop Duo, Best this. And all you have to do is have a couple of hits on it, and you're going to walk away with some amazing stuff. So she's. It's a little misleading to me that Taylor Swift and Beyonce are the greatest musicians of all time according to Grammys, because of how many they've won. Mary J. Blige has 16, and she's. You know, she hadn't done anything since the early 90s, but she keeps collecting them, too. And it's.

[Brady Bogen]

Someone made a list of artists that have never won a Grammy. Nickelback.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogen]

Beach Boys.

[John Holmberg]

That's amazing.

[Brett Vesely]

Surprise there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Elvis only won three, and they were all for gospel songs.

[Brady Bogen]

Journey.

[John Holmberg]

Trying to think of Journey never got a Grammy. Wow. That is. Wow. Those are some big.

[Brady Bogen]

Katy Perry nominated 13 times.

[John Holmberg]

That is actually shocking.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm surprised.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Because she's Taylor and everybody else has gotten them.

[John Holmberg]

She's in the world of pop, everything. So again, she gets the dance. The. I mean, they have a dance category. It's the exact same thing. It just eliminates some of the R B and folksy rock stuff.

[Brady Bogen]

He's been nominated. She was up there with. She said 13 nominations, 15 nominations. Never got one. Joe Satriani. Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

14 nominations for Dirk. Dirk's Bentley. 16 nominations for Snoop Dogg.

[John Holmberg]

Never got one. Well, Dr. Dre got a. They named an award after him last night. He got a. The first annual Dr. Dre's Awesome Award.

[Brett Vesely]

He deserves it.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely changed the game completely. It was an interesting show, though. They did a lot of neat stuff. The one thing I did kind of think of, though, every time Lizzo got to talk, she talks about being fat. And, you know, just because I look different, just because I'm body positive, just because I'm this. She goes up and talks about a fat. She is all the time. And everybody's like, yay. Positive with a broad. She is.

[Brett Vesely]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

But you know what Sam Smith didn't do when he won? Talked about how fatty was what DJ Khaled never does. Goes up there and tells, well, I'm fat, y'all. You know that, right? That's the reason you have to like me, because I'M fat. Like, it's weird thing when the. When it's a fat woman that it's, you know, you have to make it, like, a bigger deal than it is. And it's a fat guy and he's just. I mean, all I thought was, Sam Smith's fat. He looks really fat, right? He's got huge boobs, which maybe he's growing on purpose.

[Brady Bogen]

Like, Kim did the song with him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

How was that? Did you watch the performance?

[John Holmberg]

And that was winners and they won. And that was awesome. And Kim Petrus accepted the award as the first trans everything thing. And everybody clapped like crazy. And. And then, you know, they always talk about, like, they're. Liz is not the first fat woman to win a Grammy. It's not like she's breaking ground being fat. And then, you know, the lesbians that go up and. And say, you know, my life. Katie Musgrave and that kind of. They always. Casey Musgrave. They talk about, like, being lesbians, and it's a big deal. And my life found you not the first lesbian to win a Grammy just because you're out more. Plenty of. Plenty of rug munchers have won Grammys in the past, and never once did they went up and made it about the music, not about where they stick their tongue. You know, not like Harry Styles went up there and go, I have. I have literally eaten some of the best in Hollywood. This is pretty amazing. And also, by the way, I have a good album. You guys gave me think, but, I mean, think of the. I'm gonna eat now that I've got these Grammys for album of the year. I am a eating machine. And you guys should all stand up and clap for heterosexuality. Nobody ever would do it. It's weird. It's just a weird thing that they.

[Brady Bogen]

Act like they're first think. Okay, but thanks, Queer Nation, for your support. Like Beyonce did, Right?

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, the queer community for inventing the category of pop dance electric music. And they all went nuts. That's us. Nice job, queers. I didn't know we could call you that.

[Brett Vesely]

Did all the fatties get excited when Lizzo's up there talking about.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And everybody. But it's like they act like they're.

[Brady Bogen]

The first bunch of Pringles cans pop.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, didn't Mama Cass win?

[Brady Bogen]

I thought she won.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, she's. She was big and fat. Look what happened to her. Died eating a ham sandwich. Nobody was surprised. If the news came down. Lizzo choked on a ham sandwich. Today would be like, well, let's see. Did she maybe. Probably. I would assume that the mamas and papas got something.

[Brett Vesely]

She was nominated four times. One once.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she could sing though. She could sing. The lights out for Monday.

[Toledo]

Monday.

[John Holmberg]

Big fat people have been winning awards all the. And Lizzo acts like she's the first fat person to ever walk on a stage. The DJ Khaled went up there right after and I went, he's fatter than she is. And he never mentions. I gotta go. He doesn't do anything but another one, which is what he does at the buffet. That guy's huge. But fat dudes never get credit for being body positive women. First things first just go, ugh. And then Lizzo had to sit next to Adele all night long and see what's possible because Adele looks amazing now. And remember when Adele was fat and positive and then lost all her weight and all those same people that were on her side hated her for bettering herself? They got all mad and then Lizzo had to sit next to her and Adele had to be like, no, that's all right. You can eat it. Well, you sure, Adele? Yeah, that. You can have my half. I don't eat like I used to. It's not for me. You're not gonna eat the dessert? Two for me then. That's right, Lizzo. We should talk about future diabetes. You can lose your. You can lose your fe. You gonna eat that? No, you can have it. It's about damn time.

[Brady Bogen]

I've been staring at that for half hour. Did they wheel Ozzy up or.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's not. He's not participating anymore. It was a good show though. All in all, it was pretty entertaining. It was a little bit boring. And boy, I tell you what, that Taylor Swift, she's human Ambien to me. Every time she stands up, I look at her, I'm like, I'm getting sleepy. Get her off the tv. She's boring. Her boring face and her boring hair and her boring music. She's just boring.

[Brett Vesely]

Is it mere. Did it used to seem like the Grammys were one of those things you would like make sure you watch? I forgot it was on last night Appointment. I was watching Password with Fallon. I mean, that's how bad it was.

[John Holmberg]

And how about that show? Oh, is that like the most anxiety riddled nightmare ever? He gets so amped up when somebody gets a password, right? And then if you go back and watch the old Password with Alan Ludden, Betty White's ex husband, and it is a casual like, you know, tick tock Correct. That's it. That's the thing. Jimmy does it. Okay. Tick tock, balloons and confetti every time someone does anything. And I can't see why.

[Brady Bogen]

I get so excited though sometimes because it's on the fifth or sixth clue where they finally get cornhole or tennis.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I watched that.

[John Holmberg]

Because then they're idiots.

[Brady Bogen]

Love.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Facts. Oh, it's crazy. And when they miss, when he just. Oh, he throws his head into the counter. Say words. You. You're driving me insane. Yeah, you just. You need like, you know, some sort of a psychiatrist and a pill to watch that show. It's so crazy. And the celebrities start falling into it like normal celebrities start bouncing off the walls. Fallon's cocaine ham.

[Brett Vesely]

John cocaine ham was a little bit. He was still trying to be cool, but he was starting to fall for.

[John Holmberg]

It a little bit. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He'll get into it. He starts cool. And then initially. And then you can't help but just like.

[Brady Bogen]

Those are the best clues ever.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

I got nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it is the weirdest. I don't know.

[Brady Bogen]

We have a. Someone, a new member of egotist.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No. So Viola Davis, she got herself a Grammy yesterday and now she's an ego. 18, right? 18 EGOTs now, people.

[Brady Bogen]

I think so. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty impressive.

[Brett Vesely]

What's an EGOT?

[John Holmberg]

Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There's only 18 people who have one. It's a pretty amazing list. And she got one yesterday for reading her book. They give you an award for that now. Best performance. Reading your own book.

[Brady Bogen]

Chappelle. Go up and accept his honor and.

[John Holmberg]

Thank the, thank the lgbtq, thank the queers for inventing all that stuff. Yeah, it's a, it's a weird thing, but no, they do all that, all this stuff for four hours. They start that show at noon. I, I went to the Grammys once and I had to do a pre interviews for everybody and it was nine in the morning and we're do. They're doing all the sound checks and stuff and you're listening to. Literally listening to Elton John and, and you two. And all these people performing in the background while you're interviewing stuff. And then, then people start showing up. You're like, what's going on? Like, oh, they got the pre show for like three hours. They're handing out awards before the show starts. It's crazy. And it's, you know, all the exact executive stuff. It's the, you know, behind the scenes, really boring things.

[Brett Vesely]

Best engineers, producer of soundtrack from.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Yeah. Best soundtrack Production best this, best composers, all that boring stuff. And then they managed to whittle it down to like 80 awards for the broadcast. And it's a long day, but. Yeah, just keep it. Brady, Kid Harpoon wants you to know. To keep it in check. You know, your name's important. Let's not get too full of ourselves there. I'm gonna start calling you Brody, just, you know, so you know that I'm. You're not as. You're not as big a deal as you think you're. And by the way, you call me the Magic Man, I'll be Magic man, and you're just gonna be Brody, the guy who's a little bit full of himself. Meanwhile, Magic Man's gonna go on TV for a second. I'll be right back. Yeah, the day they cut off Lizzo's feet from the diabetes won't be sad. There'll be an I told you so moment from everybody else going, lizzo, I understand you're positive. It's good for you, but. And I don't buy into that. You know, magazines make girls. I don't buy that argument. It's like the pressure, the pressure, it's all you. Because every boy growing up watched a specimen of an athlete and, and knew, well, not many of these guys in the world and probably not going to be me. We all knew deep down as we admired me and my youth. You know, very misguidedly watching Dave Kingman hit 460 foot home runs and Wrigley Field thinking, that guy is everything I want to be. Well, I'm not 6, 6, 2, 15, you know, swinging this giant stick and crushing baseballs. I couldn't do it. And it didn't. It wasn't unfair. I never once said it's not fair. These pro athletes are so gifted genetically and they look so great. We don't do it. And it's that. That artificial pressure is put on by.

[Brady Bogen]

You and you alone for a man. You know, it took years to finally complete. But David, the statue.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

People see that I want to be that chisel.

[John Holmberg]

I watch Hard Knocks and there's nothing that makes me feel worse as a human being than when those dudes walk around with their shirts half up and they look like the mannequins at Dick's Sporting Goods, which are also kind of intimidating. But it never once make all. I look at that and go, I gotta work a little harder, even be close to that. And I don't have that build. I'm just not physically gifted that way. Because you talk about it. And well, that's what men want. Women. Since when do you fight for what men want? Every time we tell our wives what we like, they do the exact opposite. Those. Those pants look great. I hate these pants. The next thing you know they got them pair of pants on like what just happened. You're just saying that. All right, nevermind. I think your hair looks beautiful. Ugh. Changing it tomorrow. All right. It has nothing to do with us and what we want. It doesn't. You think the Kardashians were doing what men wanted or what the NBA wanted? And then it became what women are like. I guess that's what everybody wants. It's pressure you put on yourself. I just don't buy it. If somebody just told you you're. If you look at magazines and feel pressure, you're doing that. The magazines aren't doing it. Men's health. Intimidating. If you wanted to stare at it all day and go, jesus, I'm a slob. But we don't. Dudes go buy that. Go. That's a handsome. He probably works real hard. Anyway, here's my Pringles and I'm going to grab a thing. Oreos. And we don't get mad at society for putting out great looking dudes on. Everybody I watch on TV as far as the that I idolize is a specimen of a man. So much more than I'll ever be. So much more than I'll ever be. And you know what I do? Tip the cap. Great work, kid. Man, did you try harder than me in that department. You look great. Here I am. I look like ET when they found him in the field. Nothing I can do about it. I mean, there's something I can do about it. I'm not gonna though. Anyway, you have a good glow. I'll develop a personality. Oh, oh, ladies. Did you hear that? That's a thing. That's why fat girls always get laid. They're usually pretty fun. I gotta be. Nothing else going on, right? They develop a personality they recognize. Well, I'm not trying as hard as these, so I'm gonna tell jokes and stories and play video games. I'm gonna be fun. Yeah. I'm not gonna tell anybody I'm with her, but she's a blast. She's eating me out of house and home though. Yeah. The Grammys were fun last night though. It was. It's not one of the better like Grammy nights because you're like everybody's kind of average. Harry Styles one of that. I have that album. I had it for Two weeks I was pretty on it and I'm like a couple of great little pop songs, but the rest of it's a drag. And rock, once again, not at all close to being represented because it's dead. And we. We keep it alive here as best you can because it's still got an audience. But as far as mass appeal goes, you know, I'll get. I'll get emails from us. We watch the Grimace. Old pop crap. Where's the rock?

[Brett Vesely]

You tell us.

[John Holmberg]

You tell me because tell me where great rock albums were this year that you know. And don't say it's impossible because if it were bigger, there'd be radio stations and XM and. And your Spotify would push it. There aren't any rock bands doing anything new. Back in the early 90s when grunge hit it took over the Grammys, I mean, you saw a lot of like, holy crap moments where the Grammys were like, we better embrace this. Rock can still do it. It's just. There's a few decent things, but nothing major and nothing mass appealed to where they want to put it on tv. So it's rock. So it's the same thing as women looking at magazines. It's rock's own fault for breaking itself down into 77 categories of grindcore, hardcore, metal core. And you're a. For not like rock fights with itself more than anything else and then wonders why it's not represented at all every year.

[Brady Bogen]

Best country album. Willie Nelson.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. Well, they know he's dying. He's 90 something. Then Smokey Robinson came out and did some stuff and he's got an album. No, he won a. He won like a Vanguard Award or something. He's 82 years old.

[Brady Bogen]

I know he is.

[John Holmberg]

A smile on my face. I'm like, he still hits the high notes. He's 82.

[Brady Bogen]

That's why he's rolling out his. His next album. I think he's. It's almost done. It's called Gasms.

[John Holmberg]

Is it? Yeah. Real. He's still shooting. Piercing blue eyes. I look, I'm like, He's 82. He's. He looks better than me now. He looks better than I have ever looked at age 82. I've never looked as good. Like if you stood any version of me in my first 50 years next to Smokey Robinson. 82 years old. Smokey wins every time. If there's a smile on my face, what 82 year old can hit that note?

[Toledo]

Trying to fool the public.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna bang your wife. Today. And he can pops the blue pill. He gets that weird 82 year old boner and you're staring at some surgery and some blue eyes. He looks great. And Stevie doesn't age. Stevie wonders. 72. He was on stage. Look great. He finally embraced that. He's bald. He just lets the braids go. He has a hat on which. It's. It's time.

[Brady Bogen]

And what went viral was Ben Affleck's expression.

[John Holmberg]

No, he was bored. He was bored beyond belief. He did not want to be there.

[Brady Bogen]

I saw a couple of pictures like.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, Ben doesn't want to be there. Well, he's not allowed to drink anymore in public.

[Brady Bogen]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

And so that's a long five hour night of him like getting ready and.

[Brady Bogen]

He'S like, thank God we got or it's miserable. You're stuck in traffic. You still gotta.

[John Holmberg]

And you're surrounded by alcohol and drugs. You know, Smokey did a couple bumps backstage. That's what he's known for.

[Brady Bogen]

Let's do this.

[John Holmberg]

It's crazy how good he was, but yeah, it was, it was entertaining enough. Better. And it's my first Sunday without football in 20 weeks.

[Brady Bogen]

So you didn't watch any Pro Bowl?

[John Holmberg]

No, if I wanted to watch kids play football, that was terrible.

[Brady Bogen]

I watched.

[Brett Vesely]

We were at a restaurant and it was on. I was like, why, why am I watching? They're not even wearing helmets.

[John Holmberg]

They're not trying.

[Brett Vesely]

Running around.

[John Holmberg]

They're not even trying. And Snoop Dogg and Pete Davidson are the coaches. I mean that's the first. First or I guess Eli, at least.

[Brady Bogen]

Pete's like, what am I doing here?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He had no business there. It was dumb. And they filled the stadium packed. Vegas stadium was packed full for six bad flag football games.

[Brady Bogen]

And in between they had, you know, they tried to do it like the dunk contest, but the best pass catch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Between Stefan Diggs and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Trying to set up great catches in a couple years. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Playing tic tac toe with the, with the kickers and stuff like I think.

[John Holmberg]

Is kind of neat because they do that in hockey where they're shoot for the edges and then the middle. I was just bored, but I don't want to watch. I'm just.

[Brady Bogen]

No, I can't imagine being in that stadium.

[John Holmberg]

It just.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The skills competition from the second deck had to be like, well, we could be gambling. We're in Las Vegas is the worst thing we could be doing in Vegas. But for the experience.

[Brett Vesely]

There's so much to do in Vegas and you're over at that.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. And you got the worst seats in the house staring down at, you know, Robbie Gould banging one off the the upright. Yeah, nobody watches football for the skills contest. Anyway, let's get a wake up song, shall we, for a weird week here in Phoenix. Gonna get strange but we got your back. Don't worry about it. Just remember, chip on your shoulder, a little bit rude. If a 5 foot 5 inch dude with a great big beard and a green shirt gets in your car. Uber driver, the first words out of your mouth are where the you want to go? Oh, I'm from Philly. I know, I could smell it. That's it. Somebody gets in an orange shirt, they'll probably be kind of polite and just in awe of the size of things. Can't get over how sprawling this town is. Oh, you're from Kansas City. These buildings. Yeah, we've got buildings. Kansas City has buildings too, but not this far apart. Okay, they're gonna welcome Dorothy from Oz. We'll get you in here. Yeah, let's get a Wake up song. 585-9800 a good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up. It's out of control now. This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation today. There it is. That's what I like to hear. Well done, Alliance. There is the Apaches giving us our theme song for 2023 and it makes me happy every day. Thank you, Alliance. They just got emails and I didn't know if it was yesterday or today, but it was yesterday. The Eagles and the Chiefs both have touched down. They are in town and I think they have the big intro show tonight. The NFL welcome to the super bowl show. And they do this big introductions of the team and they make it a big red carpet event and stuff like that. A lot going on.

[Brady Bogen]

Always press day is that.

[John Holmberg]

Press day is usually tomorrow because it would be the players day off and Craig Gass is coming in here in a little bit and he's going to go do that for us because he has access to everything. We still don't know how, but Craig Gass has access to all of it. He will down be on media row, goofing around, talking to people, getting his nose in there. And I don't know how he does it. I've seen. I've seen Craig Gass do things that no human should get away with and has just really taken the whole act like you, you're supposed to be their theory and putting it in action. He's better than Obi Wan about telling guards and stuff. I'm going in there looking for. And then he wanders in. I got a suite at a Sun's game for the finals. This was not easy to get people with tickets. I had to go down and get them like I was giving tickets to these to the people. And I had to go down to get them at the bottom of the. The escalator because there was just. We're gonna make sure these are legit. This one's not bouncing off this one. They had so many security measures in place. We get up to the suite. I get a tap on my shoulder in the suite. There's Craig. He did not have a ticket. Hey, buddy, I said, how'd you do that? And he goes, found this back door, climbed this ladder. And I'm on the second floor. I'm like, what kind of ladder? The ladder is one of those wall ladders. It is, it is. It is a straight up and down super ladder. And he found it and thought, I'll climb that and see what that leads to. And he ended up in our suite and he had a plate of cookies already. I don't know. He was amazing. So the guy has access to everything. And for the super bowl, it's legitimate, but he used to sneak in every.

[Brady Bogen]

Sporting event and he's done it so long.

[John Holmberg]

The best.

[Brady Bogen]

A lot of people like. I mean, he networks.

[John Holmberg]

It's not even networking with the right people. He networks with, he thinks with vendors, with people who are fans of his that might have, you know, beer guys that were the. The thing in Cleveland.

[Brady Bogen]

Come on in.

[John Holmberg]

He was at this game seven of the World Series with the Cubs and Indians had second deck seats, big upper decker seats. If you notice at the end of the game when Bill Murray's cheering for the Cubs, the guy sitting next to him is Craig Gaff. That's right. Third row in off first baseline. And he's filming it and he's like, Craig Gass is part of Chicago Cubs history and lure. Because one of the shots is of Eddie Vedder, Bill Murray. Bill Murray, Bonnie Hunt, and a bunch of other celebrities sitting there cheering longtime Cub fans. And there's crying dipstick Craig Guest standing there with his phone right in the middle of the mix because a guy recognized. Hey, you the guy. I know you. You're the comedians. Like, yeah, I love you, man. Did you need one of these? And he gives him this band that gets you down to the VIP thing. And Craig's like, well, if I can get vip, I can get down front, right? Just flashes the thing like you're supposed to be there. Walks right to the front, sits down next to Bill Murray. Nobody says a thing, because who's gonna know he's got the band. He is remarkable. So we have pretty much hired him for no pay at all. He was gonna do this anyway, but he's gonna come in and just be part of this super bowl celebration. It's. It'll be on his Twitter first and then back with us the next day. His stories. It's going to be amazing.

[Brett Vesely]

Is he our Radio Row guy?

[John Holmberg]

He's our. Well, he's. Well, look, we're just borrowing it. We're his. We're kind of borrowing him.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

So it's not. He works for us. We're basically saying, all right, Craig, go nuts and come back and tell us your stories. But he'll be here this morning with whatever he's going to do. And he's already told me, I got passes for the Tuesday night thing. You're coming with me. I'm like, I don't even know what it is, but we're going in, and there's going to be this.

[Toledo]

This.

[John Holmberg]

And it's like, amazing stuff. I'm like, I'll go with you. So we'll see what. What happens with what? With Craig. But it's. He's going to be here, and the teams are here, and everybody's starting to get all involved and crazy about that. I remember going to the airport when the Steelers played the super bowl here and back in 95. 96. Super Bowl, 95 season and that entire tarmac. I don't know if you're still allowed to do what we did, which was just wander around the airport. Tarmac. I would assume not.

[Brett Vesely]

I wouldn't think so anymore.

[John Holmberg]

But, I mean, they just. They had a little section for us, and we watched the Steelers get off the plane. U S Airways plane pulls up, and there they were, just. It was crazy. Hundreds and hundreds of people just standing on the Runway. Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

I don't Think they do the greetings anymore.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how they do it, if they do it. They corralled us pretty good. But we were wandering about. It was a. There's a lot of moving around in places. But nobody thought, I'm gonna blow up a plane. I think it'd be silly. And no, and we weren't. We weren't. And you could kind of tell we were all hyper focused on watching the boys get off the plane and cheering wildly. It was pretty fun. So I understand that. That excitement, that's a pretty fun thing to feel. And the Chiefs landed, and then the Eagles landed and soon their fans will be here too. And yeah, some guy said, he emailed me and he goes, the best thing about what I was talking about with other people talking about city said I had a city planner go, phoenix doesn't have a good skyline like New York or Philly or Chicago. And he's like, yeah, well, I guess shouldn't stay. Which is the proper answer. That's the proper thing to say. What's going on with your skyline? You got no tall building. Yeah, see, we did it right where we wisely decided to make the sprawling building five stories and not an eyesore of stupidity because the land used to be cheaper. And also we're not landlocked. We can go for forever and ever and ever. So we don't need to go 80 stories into the sky. We have a very subdued skyline. It is kind of goofy, but if you're looking at it from, you know, piece de Wais Peak, it's a small skyline. It's a beautiful, like, little building. So, you know, nothing special. We don't have a lot of great architecture, but some nice stuff that's. I guess you don't like our skyline. Should probably go back to Philly and smell the garbage that's on your everywhere. It's the dumpiest city I've ever been to in my life. Oh, I'm from Philly. I'm not listening to that. I guess you should leave, turn the radio station off, off and get back in your plane or whatever it is, your carriage and head home. Kansas City, you're fine, but we're not at all. Nobody screams, oh, I'm from Kansas City. I'm not listening to that. Okay, cities that screen that their, their citizens shout out where they're from every time something happens. It's like, oh, this complex you have about how tough you are hauling oats. Tom Hanks with aids. That's all I'm going to say to you every time I hear, well, I'm from Philly. Hanks with aids. What do you mean? That's what we think of. Broken bell. Hanks with aids. That's it. Hauling oaks. We got every. We have the flyers. We got hockey. We got hockey. Sort of. It's borderline, but we've got it. Don't start screaming like you're the only town with hockey either. You're just a bunch of dicks. I mean, you could replace the word Philly with the word asshole. Hey, but the guy come over, the Uber driver says something. Hey, I'm an asshole. I'm not dealing with this. That's basically what you're saying every. What normal people hear when you say I'm from Philly is I'm a huge asshole. So I did this next. Thanks, Philly. If you guess. I don't like Philly. I still think they're gonna win the Super Bowl. Just gonna be an intolerable Sunday night to Monday morning. Look, and I feel bad for the people on probably Allegiant or Spirit Airlines that have to do three stops with Philly fans all the way back to probably. They land in Wilkes Barre or something. They don't even go through to Philly.

[Brady Bogen]

It's gonna be so loaded up with Coco Pellies and dream catchers.

[John Holmberg]

Got this. They're up for Philly. I shouldn't have bought this turquoise guy. This little weird dude trying to blow himself. I thought it was hilarious. It's a coca pelli. That's a fluke. Oh, I'm from Philly. A guy bent over like that's blowing himself. Thanks, Philly guy. We shot down the balloon. I'm very excited about the balloon being shot down because it adds to the story. Biden said, shoot it down on Wednesday. They're like, let's hold out. It gets over into the Atlantic. Everybody goes nuts. That we had an F19 or something. Just popped the balloon. It did exactly what they said it wouldn't do. They couldn't shoot it down over the the States because they were worried it would just start floating all over and collateral damage. It was exactly what happens when you pop a balloon. It deflates and it just sinks to the earth. It wasn't, you know, just spinning all over like a party balloon. It was what you'd do if a hot air balloon blew up. China said last week. Oh, oh, yeah. One of our balloons. Oh, we'll look into it. We're not sure, but don't shoot it down. They didn't know what it Was. And then came back with a story that it was a weather balloon that had gone off course. Wouldn't there. Wouldn't you know that?

[Brady Bogen]

And we had another one.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn't that be your first answer? Yeah, you found it. We had a weather balloon that went bananas and we've been looking for it. We haven't. It isn't reporting back, so we didn't know where it went. So it's. It's just floating around doing nothing. But their second day answer was, it's a weather balloon that we lost and didn't tell anyone about losing. Like, if I was China or the United States and we had a big weather balloon that kind of went off course, wouldn't you call Russia?

[Brady Bogen]

Heads up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, heads up, guys. We lost the balloon. Shoot it down. It's a weather balloon. We don't care. So we shoot it down. And China's first thing is, oh, you've ruined relationships with us. Thanks a lot. What were they gonna do? Come get it or just wait for it to float home?

[Brady Bogen]

Just let it float around.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's go float for how long?

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're not allowed to come get it, so it's. We're gonna shoot your balloon down, if you don't mind. It's just a weather balloon, right? Oh, yeah, no big deal. Just. Oh, shoot it down. That's a bad relations. Bad relations. How is that bad relations? Is all you're doing is collecting weather data and you didn't even know it was missing. Still, we wreck our stuff back. We're shooting it down.

[Brett Vesely]

It's probably a bunch of knockoff NFL jerseys in that thing.

[John Holmberg]

That's probably what it was. Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Dropping a batch.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn't it be great if we popped it and just tons and tons of Cincinnati Bengals world champions shirt shout out. Getting rid of waste. Getting rid of all that dumb stuff. That's how they get it over to Africa.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Airdrop it. But yeah, if you didn't know you had a balloon, like, anymore, like, we lost our balloon. Don't tell anyone. And then somebody goes, is this your balloon? You're like, yeah, that's ours, but give it back. I'm like, no, it's not doing anything bad. We're gonna shoot it down. Then if there's. There's no consequence to your weather data collection, they're pissed off. They're pissed off that we shot their stupid balloon down.

[Brady Bogen]

Well, the other thing is, evidently we've been watching a lot of balloons over the years.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Now all of a sudden, oh, if you haven't seen these.

[Brady Bogen]

We had three over there.

[John Holmberg]

Galveston, Atlanta, Texas. These Chinese balloons are all over. So that. That's another thing that makes me feel like the whole thing is a lie, is that suddenly the government's like, we're shooting it down. You're the ones who just a day ago told me that there's like 15 of them. We've. You've never once shot one down. Suddenly we see it, we looked at it, and you're like, yeah, we gotta shoot these down now. Well, what about the other ones that you've been bragging about knowing that have been floating around above us?

[Brady Bogen]

Do you hear the. In South Carolina had to make announcements and put out on the do not shoot at the balloon.

[John Holmberg]

You know, hill people are pumping rounds at was still a little high. If you gotta get a plane but still send fired. Yeah, of course there were. I think I can get to it.

[Brett Vesely]

Hold my beer.

[John Holmberg]

Hold this for a second. I'm taking down one of them cheeky balloons right now. Nope. I missed by a mile. I missed by a lot. That thing's far away. Look closer to me.

[Brady Bogen]

For some reason he's got a spotter.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, to the left.

[Brady Bogen]

The wind is three.

[John Holmberg]

Three clicks for the wind. Three clicks left. I think I got this thing. Bob, you take it down, man, you take down China for all us in the Palmetto State. Okay?

[Brett Vesely]

Hold my natty drinking. No, Karen, I know it's from over there somewhere.

[John Holmberg]

You take a sip of that beer, I'll know. You keep that in your left hand, your non drinking hand.

[Brady Bogen]

You spot me, try to hook it. Then they can put those panels on our house.

[John Holmberg]

We get solar power. Yeah, we can keep it. Get some of that discount Chinese solar power. Stupid. But us shooting it down, we got all proud. We're so dumb. We absorb news so badly. We're so dumb. The day before we shot it down, we were told there's been like 18 of these balloons by the people who said, we gotta shoot this down. All of a sudden, 18, 18 different balloons. They've known about, like balloons all over the place. Chinese balloons shoot over here all the time. We know about it, we do it to them. But then they acted all tough. I told them to shoot that down. I felt real sorry for Joe Biden last night. Night. Because his wife was a presenter at the Grammys and she didn't even go on stage till 9pm our time. He didn't. They could wake him all they wanted. His eyes were still closed. Doing a great job though. It's not tv.

[Brett Vesely]

She could have Bought four. And he would have missed sleep. I mean, you know, I'm gonna take.

[John Holmberg]

A nap and wake up for. I'll wake up for jail. Go to sleep. But yeah, he was all tough about the balloons. The balloon. 20 or 30 of these things last month.

[Brady Bogen]

Shoot it down. Back off the president, man. He's getting mean.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta shoot that balloon down. Yeah. Can't pop a balloon. Never try to pop a balloon at one of the carnivals. It's not that easy. Sometimes it bounces right off of them. Gotta get an F19 up there to do that. But they. They killed it. And it wasn't very exciting to see. I thought it would be more like. I was kind of hoping it was loaded with some sort of Hindenburg gas. And thing would have just gone up in smoke in a self. Like if the Chinese were smart, they would make it so it blow like Mission impossible. Just explodes. If it ever. It self destructs. Nah. Now we got divers all over the Atlantic.

[Brady Bogen]

I was just wondering as it's spiraling down, you know. You know, they probably are estimating where it might hit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just.

[Brady Bogen]

I'd love to see the scene of all the boats scrambling.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Like a baseball going into the bay in San Francisco. People diving and swimming.

[Toledo]

Got it.

[John Holmberg]

And then they're saying, well, we can't find it. We got divers out there. Like, you didn't watch it land like it's golf. You watch your ball all the way. Right. It's out there somewhere. We'll get divers in the area. You're never gonna find anything from that. It's crazy. So good luck with the divers and the balloons. And if you see a balloon overhead this week, it's probably not Chinese.

[Brady Bogen]

I see a couple. You're gonna see one that's oblonged. That's a blimp.

[John Holmberg]

That's a blimp. Don't shoot at it.

[Brady Bogen]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Hillbillies.

[Brett Vesely]

If it says Goodyear, you're good.

[John Holmberg]

Good year. If Snoopy's on it at all. And of course, the Chinese are wise. They might paint a Snoopy on it. Don't worry, Justin. Snoopy. Snoopy Maroon. Oh, wow. It's a rife insurance thing. Rife inserts Snoopy Baron Met rife. They'll get balloons and blimps and all sorts of crazy.

[Brady Bogen]

There'll be a typo on it, though. That's when we know it's Chinese midlife.

[John Holmberg]

Met rife. That's not right. Ah, we all confused. Uh. Oh, it says Carrie Lake. Carrie Lake. Is. Is that real?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it's on her.

[John Holmberg]

It's on her Twitter page. On Carrie Lake's Twitter, she's sitting in a field with a gun. Point at the sky. It says, I'm told there's a balloon that needs to be.

[Brett Vesely]

Got a 12 gauge.

[John Holmberg]

She's gonna buckshot a balloon from five miles into the sky. We need to turn her loose this week. We need to. We need to let people know that. And we need to cheer for every time that people think we're insane. Is that real? She's. She is holding a shotgun, looking at the sky. She's balloon hunting out there, shooting birds. Wow. The guy says that shotgun will reach about 150ft above your head. The balloon's about 59,850 above its reach. Stick to losing elections. You're good at that. The first comment, she's tough guy in the balloon with a shotgun. Oh, hilarious. Airy Lake, the macho man standing out there doing her thing. I like her. That's pretty fun stuff. Yeah. So most locals are basically saying they're going to stay put this week. Can't say that I blame them. I did. I did go out on the bike yesterday and hit the trails and it was packed. And I think a lot of people from out of town were on Trail 100 yesterday and Trail 1A, because there were a lot of flip flops thinking that this is just a leisurely stroll. I saw two downed ankles. And then my favorite thing was two guys on bikes that were rented were on top of a hill. And it wasn't a big hill. You get to, you know, the climb that pretty much gases you right off the bat, and then you're fine. It's the top of this little hill. And at the top of the hill, these guys were looking around, over away. There was another dude in a red shirt waving his arms, screaming, I'm lost. I'm lost. But you can see the people you're meeting. And there's like a trail. I'm from Philly.

[Brett Vesely]

Good, Stay there.

[John Holmberg]

I'm from Philly. We ain't got this. He's standing at one end of the trail waving his arms at his friends who were just screaming, follow the trail.

[Brady Bogen]

I'm lost.

[John Holmberg]

You can see us. You're not that lost. He was scared to death. And you just heard about rattlesnakes. Wow, beautiful day. If there's any day to be lost. And by the way, from where I was at that point, you can see houses. You'll figure this out. But the pure panic from the out of towner standing in the desert thinking, I got about three hours to live. I'm not gonna have enough water. There's no food out here. Suddenly they think they gotta eat bugs and dig up a coyot Cody. And it was the weirdest thing. Like they. And I'm like I said, I told him to him like you guys are like one turn away. He's right there. Just looks far because we're up. You drop down this hill, it cut you back over. Yeah. He'll figure that out. Will he? Because I think he's pretty. Pretty resigned to the idea of not moving at this point. He's waiting to be rescued. He wants a helicopter. And there were a few people who were Philly strong and in that. I mean the cheesesteaks that were working some bikes and they shouldn't have been out there. There was a lot of heavy panting and first timers that they first day in the city they decided to check out all we've got and.

[Brady Bogen]

Enjoy the sun. Poisoning.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the sun was the least of my concern for these two. Their hearts were being tested. That's no joke. That ride is like for a first time person. You're like I. I'll go mountain biking. We have different mountain bike trails than most places that are kind of smooth and high hills. We bumps and those rocks are like razor blades and cactus and all that stuff. You got to be smart. But these there were a couple of you know. Remember those two fat guys from the Guinness Book on the motorcycles? Yeah. A father son was doing that. Wow. And I passed them and they're like that's amazing. They. They could barely move. And the breathing. You could hear them like hey Darth Vader. You guys do it. Junior, pull it over. Well they got halfway through and realized oh no, that's not as beautiful as I thought. This is miserable. I'm blacking out. I'm from Philly. But we're gonna see a lot of that. You're gonna Mike. I wonder what. What the fanduel over under is on a mountain rescue this week. Got it.

[Toledo]

Negative.

[John Holmberg]

Something you don't you think it's gonna be an easy. Oh yeah. I think by Thursday we'll have a couple came going to be.

[Brady Bogen]

You're not going to win any money on that.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogen]

Unless you go. You have to go the over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. For every hundred you put down, you.

[Brady Bogen]

Get a dollar eight rescues by Thursday. Big money.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's as good as betting that Deandre Ayton's gonna get one rebound. You're. You're not making much off of that. But, yeah, mountain rescue. I think it would probably be camelback. That'll be the most popular one. But I saw a lot of flip flops yesterday.

[Brady Bogen]

They're qualified if you're talking. If you're saying the Philly cheesesteak factors kicking in. Squaw Peak could work just as easy. They'll just have to wheel them down. It's not so much, you know, bring the helicopters. It's just getting that giant mono wheel.

[John Holmberg]

Big wheel. I've seen it in action. I've seen it with a small person, and she barely fit in it. If a big basket. If a Philly fat got in one of our baskets, they're gonna need a double wheel because those Philly fats are large, human. They drag that big Philly fat up that hill because it doesn't look like much. They're like, that's a mountain. But you climb camelback and you.

[Brady Bogen]

It'll get the heart rate going and kick your ass.

[John Holmberg]

Especially if you're Philly fat with whiz or without.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, geez, here we go.

[John Holmberg]

I think. And Philly fats. Look, I'm from Philly.

[Brady Bogen]

There'd be so much whiz on that hill.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm from Philly. They'll probably put a rocky statue on top of it if they get there.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm okay with that, though.

[John Holmberg]

That would be kind of neat if the top. You can just barely see a little rocky statue on top of the back of camel. Yeah, they don't look like a camel. It's laying down. I'm from Philly, where I get cat. Oh, God. Can you just quote your most notable person and say, I can't go for that? Holland oats. Philly soul. Yep. I'm a man eater down there. Daryl andor John. But yeah. So we got all this to look forward to all week. The NFL experience will be fun. And then you got the Phoenix Open, which is going to be our crown jewel of. They said 380,000 expected Friday or Saturday. That's not total. That's a.

[Brady Bogen]

You're not getting out of Scottsdale for. You're stuck overnight.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And good luck, because the fees for a hotel room are a billion dollars. It's going to be pretty amazing. So we'll see. The city is in a weird spunk. It's different than any other super bowl that we've had here. For some reason, this one feels huge, and I don't know why. This one has, like, giant written all over it compared to the ones we've had in the past that didn't really clog up our world like this one. Seems to be like the perfect storm.

[Brady Bogen]

And still in a phase where, hey, it's. It's good to get out. We can go to things. Yeah, they're still in that mode.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm worried. Mountain rescues. I'm guessing the over under would be what, three. Three good mountain rescues by Saturday because I gotta fill time. And it's a. And they're. They've been locked up since October. Philly and Kansas City. So they're gonna be outside 75 degrees trying to climb Camelback.

[Brady Bogen]

See the big wheel, basket filled, patient covered in the Flexfield blanket.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna hear that a lot on the hills.

[Toledo]

Oh, my ankle.

[John Holmberg]

Water. I need water. Those Philly people are going to be screaming for water.

[Toledo]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

Water. You got a water ice? Give me a water ice. We don't have that. Just take a sip of our goddamn water. And I'm from Philly. We need water ice. No. Get some whiz. No, we're not gonna give you whiz. You fell down.

[Toledo]

Whiz.

[John Holmberg]

Put whiz on it.

[Brady Bogen]

I'm gonna check fries. If it's blown out, the whiz is gone.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the whiz. Full industrial cancer. Costco whiz is gone. Go ahead, Whiz. Go ahead, Whiz. Put Wizard. I'm from Philly. I put whiz on my salad.

[Brady Bogen]

What, no hoagie buns?

[John Holmberg]

Yuck. Good. God damn it. San Francisco is a decent group. They're a bunch of liberal weirdos and. But the good ones would have shown up and they want to go home. They don't want to be here. We could have set Carrie Lake loose on those San Francisco libs and they would have never wanted to come back. They would have lost their minds. Kerry Lake's shooting at balloons in the sky. We should put hot air balloons up with like, a. Like, Chinese writing on them. Just have Carrie Lake taking them down on tv. Just like, let her. Let her go crazy.

[Brady Bogen]

She's at the border right now.

[John Holmberg]

Same outfit down there. Just shooting at the sky. Well, let the Mexicans in. I love them. Compared to people from Philly. What in the world? Brad's doing a little dance. Making a little love.

[Brett Vesely]

Nah, it was the wrong. Wrong track here.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see what he's doing. Are you bringing her in? Yeah, he's here. Ladies and gentlemen, shooting at balloons in the sky. Carry the macho man leg. Oh, yeah. Welcome to our beautiful bird Philadelphia. But don't get Too crazy trying to get higher than me. Cause I'll pluck you out of the sky like a dove in October. Oh yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Explode. Did you hit the balloon?

[John Holmberg]

I was shooting at the balloon. And you might notice, Brady, that there's no more balloons to worry about. I plugged. I was shooting high and hard and got her out, baby. Oh yeah, Carrie. The Macho Man Lake don't tolerate no chinky balloons over her country.

[Brady Bogen]

What else you got planned today?

[John Holmberg]

Thank Britt. You knew Brett would like that one.

[Brady Bogen]

You just gotta vote.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. Going to Senate with my shotgun and my one eye close eyeballing those Chinese invaders coming through the sky balloon style. I'm heading to Albuquerque for a little while. Just for a big turkey shoot practice round. You better not even squint in front of Gary Macho Man Lake. Cause I'll shoot you dead anyway. I'm gonna shoot at you. And I'm gonna shoot at you and Dim. Some guy's gonna try to shoot at me. But he's not gonna win. Cause there ain't nobody carried a bunch of medley. Now it's off to Bass Pro Shop. Cause I'm gonna get myself a bow and arrow and try to take them down the old fashioned way.

[Brady Bogen]

Working on all the hunting skills.

[John Holmberg]

No, I got them too. And my golden lasso. Like the wonder woman that I am. We'll pull her down and we'll find out what they know. Oh, carry the Macho Men leak out. Jesus Christ. That lady is crazy.

[Brady Bogen]

She's got 9am at sport clips.

[John Holmberg]

I know.

[Brady Bogen]

She.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. Is that where she gets.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Are you making fun of her hair? Little bit.

[Brady Bogen]

It's short, sporty.

[John Holmberg]

Sporty like Sporty Spice.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Calling her a lesbian as well.

[Brady Bogen]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Sexuality in the question, Bree. Without a fight. Now if you wanna have a dick waving contest, sir, I'm all about it. Cause I'm pretty sure that my is longer than whatever God blessed you with.

[Brady Bogen]

Put the kettlebells down.

[John Holmberg]

Never. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

I wonder who'd win the contest, her or Beth? Oh, just whipping it out there.

[John Holmberg]

I mean Beth's got a big one.

[Brady Bogen]

More energy out of lake right now.

[John Holmberg]

I think Carrie. Carrie just wins based on the energy. Yeah, the BDE comes off carry. Beth is just. Just packing.

[Brady Bogen]

Uncle Milty.

[John Holmberg]

That packs a big punch down south.

[Brett Vesely]

Just enough to win.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she pulls out just enough to win. But I think Kerry might give her a run for money. Carrie has got a big penis. I can't believe that post is real. That is hilarious. Anyway, but that would have scared. Imagine San Francisco. If they'd have done anything. Carrie Lake shooting at balloons out in her backyard. I mean, those liberal loons from San Francisco would have run away from this place. Kansas City, just. Again, you're an innocuous gray face that'll come and go. We won't even notice you. Great barbecue, though. Amazing. Their food's good. Might complain. Oh, yeah, they'll complain a little bit about the barbecue, but they know they have the best. Eric's family barbecue is going to give him a run. Our friend over there at. What's that wing place?

[Brady Bogen]

Booty.

[John Holmberg]

Booty Smoothies. Yeah. Anyway, you know, give you a challenge, but I don't know what to expect. I just know that I'm. I'm going to lock up pretty good. I got a couple of things I kind of have to go to, but I'm from. For the most part. I'm going to board it up for the week.

[Brett Vesely]

Poor Craig. Mission Impossible.

[John Holmberg]

I want to follow Craig around in a Mission Impossible because I'm all about, you know, that Tuesday thing.

[Brady Bogen]

Fudging through could be pretty fun.

[John Holmberg]

It's only. I don't want to. I don't want to go anywhere with Craig. Gas where we've got tickets.

[Brett Vesely]

So you're not going to Gronk's party. And maybe, like, if I go, if.

[John Holmberg]

I'm with Craig, I'll follow him, because I am all about that.

[Brady Bogen]

I went to Magic's party the last time. I mean, things have changed. That was it.

[John Holmberg]

That was. That was a long time.

[Brady Bogen]

But it was the same thing. Guy had tickets and, like, you want to go. Okay, go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You could get into stuff then. That was nice. Like, now it's crazy. Security to get in. All of it. Craig can get through. So I. I'm a big believer in act like you're supposed to be there and walk right in. There hasn't. But I use it at, like, the botanical gardens or the zoo. Like, I don't go to big events and sneak in, although I have. I snuck into SeaWorld once, which was pretty hard to do, and I knocked that out of the yard. Just noticed that there was a door open, and we're standing in line. I'm like, it goes right to Seaweed World. Let's see. And we popped right in and acted like we were supposed to be there. And that was it. I do it at Suns games. Every game. I got that. I faked my way down into that VIP section. Every game. I say it on the radio, and nobody can stop me. I've got the Wristband. You can't. Got a system. You break my system, you break me.

[Brady Bogen]

Now we're talking.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I love breaking and entering. Love it. And Craig's the best at it. So if I go out with Craig and it's just tickets and, like, what's the point of this being with you? Find me that ladder. Let's get up on top of this thing and do some damage, get into the good VIP section. We'll see. But, yeah, I got a couple of events that I've. I've agreed to go to that I'm like, once I get there, I'll be fine. But the process is going to be brutal.

[Brady Bogen]

That's the thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't want to drive to it. I don't want to be part of it. It just.

[Brady Bogen]

That's me on the. The opens.

[John Holmberg]

Probably the most, like, oh, are you going?

[Brady Bogen]

Not right now.

[Brett Vesely]

You guys haven't been roped into that, like, normal.

[John Holmberg]

I'm roped in. And again, once I get there, everything will be fine. I'm looking forward to the people that are going to be there. Like, you know, I like.

[Brett Vesely]

It's getting there.

[John Holmberg]

It's just fun when you're there. For sure. The getting there part. And, yeah, we'll see. But if car's there, it'll be great. Oh, every golf ball that flies by, she's going to shoot it. Not today. G Bill Park. Yeah, Carrie is going to lose it, but, yeah, we could have set her loose on those San Franciscans and they'd have gone back with stories about how horrible it is here because Carrie's got legs. We didn't think about that when we were voting. Katie Hobbs is all welcoming and like, come on in. Move here. No way. Carrie Lake.

[Brady Bogen]

Tourism money.

[John Holmberg]

Well, tourism's one thing, but making them stay, like, we gotta be. We gotta pick up some attitude. And the fact that the weather is going to be as perfect as it gets is just. Oh, this is a tough place.

[Brady Bogen]

Is amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Oh, I'm. I'm a little less worried about the people that are going to be here than the ones who are going to watch it on tv. Because the TV will show Sedona, like, it's five minutes. Oh, yeah. Sunset and the Grand Canyon, like, two minutes away. It's really far, but they make it seem like it's all within, like a bike ride away. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

They need to show, like, Maryvale, A.J. you know, the west side.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Before you get too excited, friends, let's take a look at some of the murders. Wrong way. Drivers all Sorts of crazy. The meth. The meth houses. Just Guadalupe should be featured somehow. But VRBO signs up, they're moving the homeless out. They're sweeping them out of. Into the. Into what they call the zone, which is downtown. And they're, they're sweeping them already. I can't say who because he'd get in trouble for telling me this stuff. But a friend, it happens to be in city. A city job. He told me, he said yeah, it's imperative we pick.

[Brady Bogen]

Sweep is happening.

[John Holmberg]

Pick them up and dropping them off from high population areas.

[Brett Vesely]

Like so are they putting them in the zone? Like they're right down there by the Capitol.

[John Holmberg]

On the Capitol. And then there's another one up in Scottsdale. They're dropping them off up there and they're zoning it out. And I didn't know this and this is our money going. They're like paying extra for more food and stuff to keep them there. There you go. There you go. Look like cornhole giving them games and more meth.

[Brady Bogen]

They'll be fine.

[Toledo]

Yeah, that's it.

[John Holmberg]

Just over there. Big meth pile.

[Brady Bogen]

Maybe that's the place to go watch the Super Bowl.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well they're worried they had to sweep Margaret T. Hans park because that's got loads of huge event humongous. And they are scooting them out and they can't scoot them downtown because there's stuff going on there. Let's move you guys. And just wedged them on over to the zone. But if you go down there right now, the like the like. Because there's a dude who stands on the 7th street and 10 over like the off ramp. Yeah, he is rough looking and he's there every time. And this dude is rough looking. I've been by when fire trucks are propping him up. He's not going to make it. And then the next time I pull up, he's there he is again, he's not there. And that little walkway is usually a bunch of like for a better word tents. And like they have little buildings.

[Brady Bogen]

7Th street clear. That overpass for some reason gets the extremes.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's gone.

[Brady Bogen]

You had that lady without the calf for years.

[John Holmberg]

She had like that bone.

[Brady Bogen]

It was just the bone.

[John Holmberg]

She made me take the HOV lane off third because I couldn't look at her anymore. I remember I used to get off on that 7th Street. She'd stand there and she'd. A human bone for a leg. Yeah, there was a few but that I was there just the other day. Swept clean like wow, that's never been that nice. So it's pretty nice downtown right now. We need to, we need to unleash the zone on Sunday night all around where the Philly people party. That's it. Robin blind. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there?

[Brett Vesely]

All right, Wake up song time. And of course you guys know it's brought to you by our buddies at Action Ride Show Shop. It's going to be a beautiful weekend. You want to hit the trails this weekend. Action Ride Shop's a place to do it. They got rentals, they got sales. You need to buy a new bike, you want to rent one just to check it out. All the accessories you're going to need. And if you got that old bike in the garage, needs some repairs to get out there.

[John Holmberg]

Just.

[Brett Vesely]

They got the best wrenches in town. So go, go check them out. Actionrideshop.com or just stop in and visit Josh and the boys over there at Gilbert Road in Southern.

[John Holmberg]

My friend just bought a, an electric cruiser.

[Brett Vesely]

So not a mountain bike, but just to cruise around town.

[John Holmberg]

And I didn't know that because the electric mountain bikes don't have this. Go to Josh right now over at Action Ride Shop and rent one of these. It has a button. You don't have to pedal. And he gets 26 miles an hour. You're flying on this. You don't. And it's. And it's true. Like that's what I think people think when I say of the electric mountain bike. Oh, you just hit the button. No, you gotta pedal thing. This one, this one just, it's got a motor.

[Brady Bogen]

That's what that, that tandem I did a couple years ago back in San Diego. It is derby on the back.

[John Holmberg]

So fast. Oh yeah. I was like nervous riding that thing around, but I'm like, oh, this changes everything. I prefer a pedaling, but there's basically.

[Brady Bogen]

A mope kinetic or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Well, kinetic is you have to work the engine to get it going to move it like works off its own energy. This is just a. You pump straight up throttle, which is a throttle. Yeah, it's just that you're just gunning it. It's a. And you don't have to pedal because I hit it right off the bat and I'm gone going. It doesn't store energy. It's got, it's charged. I couldn't believe how fast those things are. And if you're lazy and you want to tell people you want on a 10 mile bike ride, that's the route to Go. You're not going to drop a single pound. In fact, you're not going to do anything. But you can lie and tell people how active you are. Well, we rode the canals 41 miles. Wow. You look horrible.

[Brett Vesely]

On the list, ACDC's whole lot of Rosie for Lizzo, Mastodon, Metallica, Hollywood Undead, Falling in Reverse, Clutch Up There Twice, Megadeth, Seven Dust, Jerry Cantrell, the Cult, Drowning Pool.

[John Holmberg]

Dick Guy's a great song. That's the old one, isn't it?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. That's not the first. First Jerry album.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Watch the World Burns pretty great. Falling in Reverse is Larry is all over that Man. Man, Is that the one he's loving right now? I think that's it. He just won't stop playing their videos. Their videos are incredible. I don't really care, Brett. I'm looking at this and I don't have one that's jumping. So you choose.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. The Cantrell one has never popped up before.

[John Holmberg]

Let's do Dick Eye by Jerry Cantrell. It's a great song. Yeah, his first album, Solo was really good. Yeah, I haven't listened to much since, but that. That first one was pretty awesome, so. Thick Eye by Jerry Cantrell. We haven't done that for a while. This guy says, I just wanted to say thank you. I'm a native born here to the Valley, so I've seen radio stations come and go my entire life, all the way back to Chris and Crux. I'm a retired police officer with 30 years of Valley agency and plenty of experience dealing with the entire spectrum of humanity. Your morning show is nothing short of awesome. God, this guy's right. Never heard somebody more right. It's obvious they have a great understanding of general human populace, which makes you outstanding. Not so much because of what you say, because any radio station could provide newsworthy banter. What I respect is how you deliver it. You're a master of it. Combining humors with. Or your humor with logic. This guy's onto something. I really don't even care for most music that you play, but I don't and will not switch. Because listening to you is a great start every day. So many people have logical. Don't have logical thought anymore. You're an everyday reminder to me that someone does. Respectfully, Ben Roberson. Ben Robertson, you are an early candidate.

[Brady Bogen]

For listener of the Year in the running.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you, Ben. I'd love to try to argue your points, but they're so perfect, salient and well said. I'm proud of you, Ben, for recognizing my brilliance. You know, you should probably call me Gary or kid Harpoon. I can't tell. What.

[Brett Vesely]

That's weird. Steve Holmberg.

[John Holmberg]

That's all my mailman. So Saturday mailman knocks on the door, he knows better. And I go to get the mail and he's already across the street and in there is a address change and it says name Stephen Holmberg, question mark. And I looked at him and I said, did you do this? And he's like, I've heard it this morning. He listened on the podcast on the weekend. And I said, this is very funny. I. I like this a lot. And he goes, ah, I figured, you know, might as well just rename you. Like that's perfect. Still not a peep out of the the people that tried to cut my knees out from me.

[Brady Bogen]

Publications been shut down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, hard hitting journalism when they're trying to take a guy down and not know his name immediately makes all your facts questionable. You are a terrible journalist. I won't even give your paper or you credit. But you try to do a hit piece on me and you didn't get my name right. And I. And I love every second of it. I love every second of woke victimization. Trying as hard as they can to cut me off off and losing on their own merit. Just coming at me with the wrong name. It's like, okay, you didn't do any research. Your story means nothing. Nothing. Hilarious. And you'll hear the Queen Creekers calm it down or else. And Carrie Lake over there again. We'll end this thing. It's out of control now. 98 years college hoops are here and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with the baller bundle. 10 bonus wings, crispy fries, dressing and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a Beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of.

[Brady Bogen]

Beatbox or buzz balls for a low price.

[John Holmberg]

This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters, the original wing joint since 1983. We have our super bowl correspondent super guest. And he came with a fanfare. In the parking lot, a pukin Indian was parked next to Craig. And we don't know what just happened, but we were looking outside and I'm like, is that Craig's car? And a giant native American got out and started to throw up in Our parking lot. And then, Craig, you walked right by it and didn't even see him.

[Toledo]

Yeah. I can't believe I didn't see vomit.

[Brady Bogen]

Or smell or close enough.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, how do you know it's definitely there.

[John Holmberg]

You can see it in the park. There's a puddle of puke out and, hey, ironized Cody, you're supposed to pick up what you leave behind. That's your people's whole point, isn't it? You've left. You puked in a parking lot. You bailed.

[Toledo]

Wouldn't it be great if I did get out of the back seat? And he goes, all right, have a good day, Craig. I'll see you then.

[John Holmberg]

I would have loved it. If that was your ride all week, that would have been solid. But you drove here. You're. You're ready to be part of the show, and you got your credentials or not. Because it doesn't matter for Craig whether you've got credentials.

[Toledo]

I'm listening to you say that on the way up here. And as you're saying that, I'm getting texts saying, hey, credentials can't get in on time.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? Yeah. You don't have credentials for certain things.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You're still getting in.

[Toledo]

We'll see.

[John Holmberg]

I've watched you do it. I'll say this. I want to be part of it.

[Toledo]

I'll say this. Obviously, it's fun.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Toledo]

To sneak into things.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely.

[Toledo]

People have. At every concert, it's, you know, people who have crappy seats. You see them, look for a moment where the security guards looking the other way, and they try to get. It's fun.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Little upgrade.

[Toledo]

Sure. Super bowl week. Every super bowl city. It's tough.

[John Holmberg]

Is it?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So it's better challenge for you. So it gets more fun. Here's the thing. Because of you, at Suns games, I've become, you know, like Mr. Glass had unbreakable. Like, I am your nemesis without it being everybody that comes. Because it's now this new thing where these people buy cheap seats like you, and then keep an eye on the lower bowl where there's been nobody. And then they go down to that seat. I am the guy who's like, all right, all right, everybody out. I'm kicking people out in the boot and everybody.

[Toledo]

I'm a hypocrite.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you do it, too.

[Toledo]

I do it, too. In fact, at my. I've snuck into so many comedy shows as a kid growing up here, I would sneak into the improv when I was underage.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Snuck into laughs down in Tucson and at my own shows, if I see there's an opening that someone could sneak in, I'll just hang out by there when the show's going. And when people come in, I go, oh, yeah, man. Front door is over there.

[John Holmberg]

Wait for a young man like.

[Toledo]

Like me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm gonna crush his career and his dreams.

[Toledo]

Total hip. I did it. I literally just did it. Two nights ago, John Mulaney's performing in Honolulu. I don't know, John. I tried to get into the show, and. And someone was like, you know, you're not supposed to be back here.

[John Holmberg]

You were backstage.

[Toledo]

Well, I was trying to just get hooked up for the show. I don't know Mulaney.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And, you know, you could do that. You buy a ticket, Craig.

[Toledo]

Which is exactly what the girl who was yelling at me said. The girl who was yelling at me, she goes, I. I go, well, and this is true. A guy who did security for a tour that I did with Allison Chains did is now doing security off and on for Mulaney.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Toledo]

And I texted him, and he said, I'll see what I can do. And I said, yeah. He texted my friend, and she goes, well, if you haven't heard back from him, that should tell you something.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And I went, okay. I ended up not only getting into the show, I ended up being part of the show that night.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? You went up there with him.

[Toledo]

Mulaney ends up. He talks about recovery and drug addiction and his intervention. And I know that you thought that.

[John Holmberg]

Was an introduction, so you walked up on stage. That's. Well, please. He's talking about it.

[Toledo]

I know that. During his show, he says, has anybody here been in. In person treatment?

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Toledo]

And I said, yeah. When he goes, oh, what is your name? And I said, craig. And he goes, hey, Greg, mind if I talk to you about it?

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Toledo]

And we ended up talking about. And I. And it's a crazy story, because I don't know if I ever told you, I ended up unintentionally in the wrong rehab. I ended up in a. I'm sorry, that's just.

[Brady Bogen]

Why. Why does this surprise.

[Brett Vesely]

How do you wind up in the wrong rehab?

[Brady Bogen]

Because he had a buddy he knew.

[John Holmberg]

In the other one didn't even get into the rehab. No, it's.

[Toledo]

It's actually crazier than that. I ended up in gay rehab. Rehab.

[John Holmberg]

How'd it go?

[Toledo]

It was the best place I've ever been.

[John Holmberg]

5% success rate.

[Toledo]

It's. You know what? Yeah. Rehab does have a very small but.

[John Holmberg]

Well, especially gay rehab, because you put all those gay guys in there talking about what they don't want to do anymore. Everybody's got a hard on.

[Toledo]

I had insurance for the first time. And I had health insurance for the first time. I called him up and I said, hey, I. Do you treat drug addiction? And they said, yep, we do. And I. They put me to a different line. And this woman says, okay, where are you? What. What neighborhood are you in? And I was dating a girl who lived in a gay area of. In a gay district of Seattle, Capitol Hill. And she said, oh, there's a rehab, like, right down the street from you. And I said, great. And I called him up and I said, hi, I want to check myself in. And as soon as the guy picked up the phone, I could tell. I was like, huh, all right, whatever. And then you're from Seattle.

[John Holmberg]

I just remembered that is of famous rehab up there on Capitol Hill.

[Toledo]

I didn't know that. Well, I'm from New York, but Seattle's where my career started. And the guy asked me a bunch of questions. I am more honest with this stranger on the phone than I have been to any of my friends about how bad my addiction has gotten. And at the end of all the questions, he says, okay, well, I think we're done. Let me ask you just one more question. You are a homosexual, right? And I said, I'm a what? Just now because you're a homosexual. I go, what does that have to do with anything? And he goes, well, we're a treat map center for homosexuals. And I said.

[Brady Bogen]

Do you take insurance?

[John Holmberg]

Not what you answer. You're a homosexual, right? With you just say yes or no. Now, what does that have to do with anything? Because that's clearly a guy who's gay and trying not to be. You're perfect fit.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like strikes. No, but we're willing to.

[Toledo]

I mean, I've done a lot of cocaine, but I didn't touch anybody.

[John Holmberg]

That one moment where you're like, sure, I'll take it.

[Toledo]

Just give me the blow.

[John Holmberg]

Now, that guy knew from your answers.

[Toledo]

And then he tells me you're. Well, we're not gay and lesbian exclusive, but we're gay and lesbian friendly. So are you a homosexual? And I said, no. And he said, do you have a problem with homosexuals? And I said, no. And he said, okay, we'll see on Monday. And I checked in a gay rehab.

[John Holmberg]

We went into gay rehab. So it wasn't gay rehab. It was a gay. Yeah, that sounds drug rehab.

[Toledo]

Gay Drug rehab.

[John Holmberg]

That's better.

[Toledo]

Which.

[John Holmberg]

It's like when I say the rape, they call it rape prevention, self defense, but I call it rape class. It's just. It's like, I always say that. And I would say, oh, they got a great rape seminar coming up. Because that's. I shorten it. Your gay rehab is not to cure you of the gay.

[Toledo]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

But your answer of what does that have to do with anything? Is my favorite dodge of all time.

[Toledo]

The toughest person in the rehab was a lumberjack chick from Oregon who, in a drunken blackout, had choked her partner and ended up in jail.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Toledo]

She has no memory of it at all. Yeah, and she was badass. Selling to date her, but getting back to sneak. So it's funny because Mulaney and I are sitting, and then, you know, people are walking by, like, dude, that was funny. You know, and people are fist bumping. And I see the girl that tried to kick me out of the backstage area earlier, and she's like, how'd that guy get in here?

[John Holmberg]

So you were like, front row?

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

So you ended up in the front row because.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty awesome.

[Toledo]

Well, I just asked the right person. I did. It turns out the promoter was somebody who had brought me to Hawaii earlier with Russell Peters.

[John Holmberg]

Just keep going.

[Toledo]

I just keep going. You have to. You have to.

[John Holmberg]

The smartest thing.

[Toledo]

And at sporting events, I will. I went to NBA Finals Game 6 between the Sonics and the Bulls for free, which initially was. And I shouldn't be saying this. This on the air, but because this whole strategy, I was really proud of.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Toledo]

Friend of mine works at the Key arena now. It's called something else. It's called Climate Pledge Arena. And he says, I. I can get you into the arena, but you just won't have a seat. And I go, that's okay, dude. It's game six. Sure.

[John Holmberg]

It's.

[Toledo]

It's Jordan and. And the Sonics and Gary Payton and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And so he sneaks me into the building. And then I realized they're being really tight. If I'm standing in any aisle, the ushers are like, you know, hey, you got to get your seat. And then we go to the next section, right, sir, you got to take your seat. And. And it was. It was mad. So I had an idea. I walked out towards the exit and talked to one of the ticket takers, like, for 10 minutes and said, hey, is there. Can I leave and come back? He goes, well, if you need a ATM, because they didn't have ATMs at the time, the arena, or if you're something else. And I go, oh, what, I need an atm? And he goes, oh, yeah, well, yeah, you can leave. You have your ticket, right? And I go, yeah, I have my ticket. And he goes, all right, yeah, yeah, as long as you have a ticket. And I started talking to him, made him laugh. And I go, well, I'm actually a stand up comedian. He goes, oh, wow, good. Right on.

[John Holmberg]

And homeless, sexual.

[Toledo]

So I walk out and there was always a collection of scalpers on the corner of the street outside the arena on Mercer. And I walked out and I see the scalpers. I go, hey, who's got one good seat? And I'm like, okay, what do you got? And I go, what do you have? And one guy had a seat down by the court, fourth row of section 101. And he. 101, row four, seat five. And I. I go, how much? And he goes, 800 bucks right now, it's yours. And I go, nah, I can't. He goes, what do you want? Come on, 800. I go, I can't. He goes, give me six. 600 right now. Put it in your hand, put it your hand. Come on, 600, it's yours. I go, no, I'm sorry. He goes, give me 400. I go, I got a wire. He goes, what do you want? Well, tell me how much you want. I go, I don't want to pay. I just walked away and went back to the arena. I got in line, people are walking in, and I see the ticket taker, and he goes, where's your ticket? And I go. He goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, come on in. He didn't recognize my face. And I go, hey. I go, hey, we're section 101.

[John Holmberg]

No, you knew that because of the go down.

[Toledo]

So I walked down to 101, went down to the fourth row. I go, excuse me, seat number five over here. No one's in it. Sat down at seat.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it, you're a scam artist.

[Toledo]

Sat there until the middle of the third quarter.

[John Holmberg]

And then somebody showed up.

[Toledo]

And then someone showed up. And at that point, I was still drinking back then. I was like, I'm gay now.

[John Holmberg]

I'm stay here.

[Brady Bogen]

That was the only time.

[Toledo]

Yeah. By the way, it'll be funny because I'm doing shows this week. It'll be funny if I get out to stir craze. And they're like, yeah, we got a full house, but only three people pay everybody.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, everybody sneak into Craig's show. It's about time you Got some payback.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What does that have to do with anything?

[Toledo]

That is my biggest fear. But it's tough to get into stuff at the Super Bowl. They have really.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. They got. They've tightened her up.

[Toledo]

They. They hire tough security. There's.

[John Holmberg]

It's a challenge.

[Toledo]

Cops.

[John Holmberg]

But again, you went into a. I think it was Game 5 of the NBA Finals.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

With me.

[Toledo]

Yeah. In the sweets.

[John Holmberg]

And you showed me the door you came through. And I've looked at that and there's a straight up and down ladder on a wall. And like, you were like John McClane from Die Hard getting through the vents and I don't know, shoes on. He's standing next to me with a plate of cookies. Taps you in the shoulder, goes, hey, love ya. And he gives me a hug. And I'm like, how did you do that? I was kind of proud and kind of pissed at the same time because I forked out a fortun for that thing. And there's Craig. I'm like, do you want to come with? I can get you a ticket. It's this much. No, I'm gonna go to the game anyway. And then he's standing in the suite with us. Son of a. But it was.

[Toledo]

It was so much easier than that. It was literally one stairwell to get up there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, what I saw was a fireman's ladder outside. Horrible. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a gauntlet of fire. Like American Gladiator to get in there.

[Toledo]

Can I get upstairs, take my pants off? What does that have to do with.

[John Holmberg]

What does that have to do today? You are homosexual. Right?

[Toledo]

What does that have to do with it?

[John Holmberg]

That I'm going to answer that for everything now because that. That does not answer the question at all. Yes, maybe. No. I don't know. Craig Gass is here. We'll talk about his plans for what goes on as we go through the morning. He's going to hang out with us. The Brady Report is coming up and.

[Toledo]

I'm doing two shows.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

In Gilbert tomorrow. Wait, no. Wednesday. Doing two shows in Gilbert on Wednesday at PJ's.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Toledo]

Two shows. That stir crazy on Thursday.

[John Holmberg]

Look at you. Big.

[Toledo]

Is he. All the info [e-mail] getgas.com pjps or. Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy. Look into your own pro. Oh, Jesus. No, he should know this. He should know this.

[Toledo]

JP's comic.

[John Holmberg]

Great. Back door at JP's. You can sneak right in. It's easy.

[Toledo]

Getgas.com getgas.com with two S's head on.

[John Holmberg]

Over there and find out where Craig thinks he's going and then ask him a couple questions. It is JP's. You were right.

[Toledo]

JP's Wednesday. Stir crazy.

[John Holmberg]

You did say PJ's first. I did say the crazy stuff. What does that have to do different? That's it. We're gonna do the Brady report next. It's 98 KUPD. It's out of control now. All right, let's get right to business. Craig Gass is our special guest today. And Shane. Yeah. For the rest of the week probably. Man. Shane, I got this email from a guy that says before we get to the bravery for two months back, my best friend says, we're going to Sedona, February 9th through 12th, for your birthday. Because my birthday is the 9th. Who towns who turns down a free room at the Hyatt in Sedona? Then I realized the super bowl weekend, he didn't think about it when we booked it. It is going to be a problem. You're going to sit on that road into Sedona for two or three hours. There's going to be no movement. Sedona is already crowded. I can't imagine what it's going to be like this weekend. Friday and Saturday. Insane.

[Brady Bogen]

You think the weekend will be?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's going to be the worst.

[Brady Bogen]

I guess up until Saturday. And they're all heading out.

[John Holmberg]

Awful. It's awful. If people from Philly are this close, they're going to see. They're gonna go up to Sedona. Oh, he's great. Everything's red. I need a glass of water. Can't stand Philadelphia. I just want to be rude to them.

[Toledo]

Do they have a number of. How many people are coming to Phoenix?

[John Holmberg]

Well, not. Well, they always say it's like 150,000 for the Super Bowl. That's what cities always talk about. That's the influx of people. And however many go, that's gotta be more than. We got Phoenix open.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So this is. It's gonna be a nutty week there, Craig. You got a lot to sneak into, my friend. A lot. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at Hooters. And of course, it's the big game week over at Hooters. You can make your plans now to hang out with the Hooters girls for hot wings, cold drinks. Plus you can watch on a 70 inch UHD smart television and win it. How about that? You gotta Be there to win it, though. Must be present to collect that giant television. They're trying to give you a good time and a TV over at Hooters. And that's just what you need to do. Head on over there and watch at the delightful Hooters and say hi to Brittany and all the girls, because I'm sure there'll be a Brittany. They're positive of it. Brady, report it.

[Brady Bogen]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady Bogen]

Happy National Chopsticks Day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, right in time for the balloon. I shot that balloon down Saturday. An hour later, I wanted to shoot another one down.

[Brady Bogen]

A couple of basis fun facts. Jenga means to build in Swahili. The woman who invented it was born in Ghana and came up with it when she lived there. And she wouldn't let Hasbro change the name when they bought it from her.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. She put her foot down.

[Brady Bogen]

Yep. The guy who created Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, was friends with Harry Houdini, but they wound up hating each other other after a fight over whether Houdini had magical powers. Houdini swore he didn't. Doyle.

[John Holmberg]

Doyle was convinced of it.

[Brady Bogen]

Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

What a funny guy to be in a fight with.

[John Holmberg]

Houdini.

[Toledo]

You're being a dick.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, where'd you go, you asshole?

[Toledo]

You dick.

[John Holmberg]

Especially if you're trying to say. Because you know he'd be a jerk about it. You. I know you've got magic powers, Harry. I know you do. God damn it. That's proof right there. Where'd you go? I'm just messing with you, Arthur. I don't have magic powers. A trick.

[Toledo]

Look, I'm floating now. I'm inside.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that. You're. You're deep inside me, Harry. And I did not allow that. Look, Artie, it's a trick. I'm not really in there. You just think I'm in you. I can feel it, Harry.

[Brady Bogen]

Last week, the Popes watch this sticky fluid.

[John Holmberg]

Harry, you finished, didn't you? That's a trick.

[Brady Bogen]

It's invisible ink. Put it on your face.

[John Holmberg]

Put it on your face. I just tossed pudding at you.

[Toledo]

Taste it.

[John Holmberg]

Harry, you're getting close to me hating you. One more time, I'm gonna punch you square in the guts. Wouldn't it be funny if Arthur Doyle was the one that ended him with a punch to the guts for all of his trickery?

[Brady Bogen]

Last week the Pope's official Twitter account posted a delete and then deleted it. But it was praising the fingers on your hand. Each one symbolizes something.

[John Holmberg]

Who did this?

[Brady Bogen]

The Pope.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady Bogen]

When he got to praising the middle finger, it was all very innocent, but he wasn't really telling Catholics to flip each other off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, which is, by the way, the least harmful thing Catholic priests have done with their fingers.

[Brady Bogen]

The part says the middle finger, which is higher than any other others, reminds us of something essential. Honestly, to be honest means not getting entangled in the snares of corruption. And so this cabbie from New York says, I'm using what the Pope gave me by his instructions.

[John Holmberg]

Using the middle finger pointing to God for you. Thanks, Pope. Yeah. Finger advice from the Catholic Church. Probably. They just need to settle on that one. What, a coffee table book? Yeah, it's a time before finger advice. A friend of the Pope. Oh, God, make him quiet.

[Brady Bogen]

Scientists at Penn State University have created a smart diaper with a built in sensor that's able to send parents push notification on their phone when their child's diaper needs to be changed.

[John Holmberg]

They can't tell as parents.

[Brady Bogen]

Oh, you don't have to put your nose down there. You used to have to sometimes. Or you give it a feel on it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not a parent.

[Brady Bogen]

There's a low.

[John Holmberg]

You're not a parent.

[Toledo]

Never been one.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think if I think. Think you pooped. That's enough for me. I'm not gonna confirm it with scent tests.

[Brady Bogen]

A lot of times, you know, just look at their face. That facial expression.

[John Holmberg]

I'll take the diaper off and look and go, oh, I was wrong, and then put it right back on. But I am not putting my nose next to the anus of a child again. Advice the Pope gave me.

[Toledo]

You can always tell with a facial expression. That what you said?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

They got poop face.

[Toledo]

They call it the immaterial.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I was waiting for that. It is not a free for all because there's. You've been. You've been missing since that dismissal. That's enough. You got yours in now. Don't. We don't need that storm.

[Toledo]

Are you ready, bro? Are you ready? You ready to do this?

[John Holmberg]

Are you overthinking it? That's enough out of you. We've moved forward. Let's be grown ups despite it.

[Brady Bogen]

Aramark is a company that does food services, including stadiums. They also do schools.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, hold on. Before you do this. Brett, you leave the room. What? Just leave the room for this. You can't. No, he can't be here for this.

[Toledo]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

He can't be here for this. He just can't. You guys just go stand in the house. Just go stand outside and wait for the delay. Watch this. Listen to him laugh eight seconds after this happens, okay?

[Brady Bogen]

Covering up any headline.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't. Don't look, but Brett can't be in the room for this. Brett. Brett happens to find anything that rhymes with something racist to be the funniest thing in the world. If it even teeters on racism, and it's not, he'll start laughing.

[Brady Bogen]

He had to hold back on Chopsticks Day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This headline will end him, and it'll make him look terrible, but you'll hear him in the hallway. I guarantee it.

[Brady Bogen]

Aramark, you just want the headline.

[John Holmberg]

Read the headline.

[Brady Bogen]

Aramark apologizes for unintentional insensitivity after serving students chicken and watermelon on the first day of Black History Month.

[John Holmberg]

Wait for it. 5, 4, 3. Here comes. Very close. All right. You can see he just lost in the hallway. It's a terrible, terrible thing we've got with him. He's still going. See, he finds this kind of. He's from Chicago. He's pure Italian. He comes from a place where his family laughed at everything that was almost racist.

[Brady Bogen]

The school lunch in question was served to students at Nyack middle school on February 1st.

[John Holmberg]

Nyack.

[Toledo]

In New York.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah. A decision that upsets some students and.

[John Holmberg]

Parents in order to make race relations better. Can the first step be that we all love chicken and watermelon? Watermelon, yeah. Can it be that it's no longer funny to people like Brett that it's just food and food's not racist? Can we have that first step of, like, you know what, guys, let's free the chicken and watermelon thing from a.

[Brady Bogen]

And they stepped it up a little bit. It was chicken and waffles, and then watermelon was dessert.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. They were after it. Chicken and waffles for the first day of Black History Month, which is Black.

[Toledo]

History Month, brought to you by Roscoe.

[John Holmberg]

We turned it up a notch. Kids, how you doing? I'm the new school chef. For one month, we're really appealing to our base.

[Brady Bogen]

Seniors at the Villages retirement community in Florida are supposedly tying loofahs to the tops of their cars to let people know they're swingers. New senior code.

[John Holmberg]

Yuck. Yuck.

[Brady Bogen]

Different colors are supposed to mean different things. Purple, loofah.

[John Holmberg]

Brown, Brown, brown. The brown loofah is the one. I don't want to just avoid that couple.

[Brady Bogen]

The teal means you swing both ways.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Dolphins.

[Toledo]

Yellow means I need to go to the bath.

[John Holmberg]

Yellow Means diapers fall.

[Toledo]

I made an accident. Yeah, I'm pulling an Eric now.

[John Holmberg]

We've talked about this. That's enough. Start bothering you.

[Brady Bogen]

This dude from New York was diagnosed with prostate cancer 20 months ago. And now one of the signs or symptoms is he's got an uncontrollable Irish accent. It's the first time they've ever seen this from cancer. They call it the accent syndrome.

[John Holmberg]

It's happened to people who hit their heads and stuff. Like that one lady that bonked her head and woke up with a Scottish accent and couldn't shake it.

[Toledo]

People have hit their head and they.

[John Holmberg]

Have an accent, have a larger vocabulary. They, like, somebody hit Brady.

[Toledo]

We.

[Brady Bogen]

We tried.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we've tried to bonk him a few times. It's not working.

[Brady Bogen]

And now it's time for some wild work.

[John Holmberg]

It would be great though if we hit Brady's like, hey, they don't know what's going on here. But I've got to tell you something. I'm Irish now and I don't know what's going on. I'm thirsty for a drink.

[Brady Bogen]

Stupid article.

[Toledo]

Dennis Miller material. Yeah, man, this crowd's harder to get off than Martha Stewart on a bed of sheets.

[John Holmberg]

Dirty sheets. I'm sorry. Still a little Brady in there. Wild America.

[Toledo]

No, no, no. She's harder to get out. Hold on, wait.

[John Holmberg]

She's got the.

[Toledo]

She's harder to get off the dirty. You know Dennis Miller, right?

[John Holmberg]

You should Google that. That one.

[Brady Bogen]

Hello, my friends, it's Brady Bogart and this is your Wild Wild World. Got another fatal shark attack. 16 year old girl was on a wavering.

[Toledo]

All in celebration of black history.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brady Bogen]

On the Swan river, which is in Perth. And she was in fresh water.

[John Holmberg]

Most likely a bull shark ate her dead. Huh.

[Brady Bogen]

She was on the Waverunner. She stopped, jumped in the water, thought she saw a pair of dolphins. She wanted to get in there, get closer to them.

[John Holmberg]

Not dolphins.

[Brady Bogen]

It might have been dolphins, but they scooted out of there, the bull shark came in, bit her in the leg and she bled out really quick.

[John Holmberg]

And which video would you rather see? The fish video from Friday or the video? I think Shark attack. Yeah, we showed Craig the fish video.

[Toledo]

Yeah, shark attack.

[John Holmberg]

Shark attack. For sure.

[Toledo]

Yeah. I have so many questions about the fish video you sent me.

[John Holmberg]

So, so many.

[Toledo]

I. I just. I didn't understand.

[John Holmberg]

And we have a. It's. It's. That's a good thing because normalizing it in your brain would scare me. One of the guys in our digital department is a religious guy.

[Toledo]

Mormon.

[Brett Vesely]

And he came up to me begging.

[John Holmberg]

Me to, you got to send me that video. And I don't have it. You got to ask Brett or John. We did and they did. And he came and got me. I said, you actually watch that, you're going to have to go to search twice. All the way to the end, I.

[Brett Vesely]

Gave him a warning all. I'm like, dude, I'm telling you, the.

[Brady Bogen]

Guy broke the rule to too.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brady Bogen]

Because it smells like trout.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Toledo]

Holberg had the best line about it. I. I just landed in Phoenix. And I said, hey, just landed in Phoenix. I'm exhausted, gonna take a nap. And by the way, that Reddit video you sent me, I couldn't. It wouldn't load. I'm gonna put on my laptop later and try to find it. And he goes, dude, watch it now. It's a perfect setup to go to bed.

[John Holmberg]

I did right before your perfect setup sleep app.

[Toledo]

Yeah, true.

[John Holmberg]

Trust me, it'll knock you down.

[Brady Bogen]

We do have a video of an 8 year old kid. He was in the water and he was fishing and he pulled one of the fish off the stringer and put it onto the back of the boat. And that's when a little four or five foot black tip shark bit him in the chest.

[John Holmberg]

The boy in the chest?

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah. He got a tooth souvenir out of it. It didn't gave him more or less love bite.

[John Holmberg]

Came a nerp.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Huh.

[John Holmberg]

He gave him a. He twisted and pulled it up.

[Brady Bogen]

I think he confused the kid's torso with the fish that he fish was pretty big that he's putting up there.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brady Bogen]

I mean, not much smaller than the. The kid. And it just comes up and gets him right underneath the arm. Boom. And then goes back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

While Toledo's fine. Then there's a guy that was robbing a bank in South Jersey.

[John Holmberg]

Is this still wild America?

[Brady Bogen]

Oh, well, South Jersey.

[John Holmberg]

It could be South Jersey, I guess it depends on the people. Oh, there's the video. Oh, you actually have video that kid getting bit in the boob.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah. It happens real quick.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well, he's just hanging around behind the boat in the water.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah. He flips that fish on the back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. With fish food. Toledo's computer stinks. Here we go. There's a commercial. I'm sweet swinging, successful Evan Goldberg.

[Toledo]

Son of a. Yeah, I did see the video. It did show up on Twitter. That.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Kids coming out of the boat.

[John Holmberg]

Nah, it's not important anymore. Is it bloody or is it.

[Brady Bogen]

No.

[Toledo]

Scary. Yeah, there it is. There it is.

[John Holmberg]

No. Did I miss it already?

[Brady Bogen]

No, you go. Watch how fast it happens.

[John Holmberg]

Boom. Oh, yeah. All right. Well, that's awesome. That's your wild, wild world. Okay.

[Brady Bogen]

So, Courtney Bell, 38 years old. He robbed a bank in South Jersey. And in the process of. He had the cash, and he dropped some of the cash. He wore dirty socks on his hands because he didn't want to leave any fingerprints. Had the hat on, disguising his face and everything. So he bents over. He bends over to get a pile of the cash, and that's when the Corona bottle tumbled out of his jacket. Scrambled grab the cash, left the DNA. Yep. Got it on the bottle.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so close.

[Brady Bogen]

So close. Got a dealership. Ferrari dealership in Palm Beach, Florida. And the car. Freight elevator in the dealership didn't work. Dumped one of the Ferraris.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. It.

[Brady Bogen]

It's totaled. Out.

[John Holmberg]

Out. Oh, yeah. That'll happen when you drop a car a floor. Oh, that's painful to see. Beautiful Ferrari.

[Toledo]

Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogen]

Toledo. This one's for you.

[Brett Vesely]

Somebody lost their job.

[Brady Bogen]

Cracker Barrel has launched a contest. If you propose.

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brady Bogen]

Over Valentine's Day, you have a chance to win. Free food for a year.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you propose at the Cracker Barrel.

[Brady Bogen]

Go to Cracker Barrel Barrel. Between you got. Until now. Until next Thursday. They even give you two days after Valentine's Day. You get down on your knees at the Cracker.

[John Holmberg]

Does she have to say yes?

[Brady Bogen]

Yes. Said yes at Cracker Barrel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Are you dating someone now, Dick?

[John Holmberg]

13 years. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Basically married, Never married.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, I've married once.

[Toledo]

That's a child.

[John Holmberg]

Marriage Scared him to death. Yeah.

[Toledo]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't enjoyed my wife. My exact ex wife.

[Toledo]

I would.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she was saying Tennyson.

[Toledo]

Oh, the ex.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Yelled at him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Got. But John got butt dialed once, and I got butt dialed, and all I heard was, well, no, someone else got butt dialed. And it left a message. It left a message on his thing. And he goes, hey, Don called me. And this is what I heard. And it was literally, you got the dick of the jar.

[Toledo]

I can't stand you.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, oh. And he's like, is that normal?

[Toledo]

Was that the line?

[John Holmberg]

No, it was for another guy.

[Toledo]

Oh, my God. I hate you. Jerk.

[John Holmberg]

It was exactly Kinison. And so every time we bring her up, it's top of the lungs.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Because she screamed at him, and it was hilarious. But it wasn't at Toledo. It was at the guy she was with after Toledo. And we Were like, is that your life? And you go, yeah, pretty much. Wasn't far off.

[Toledo]

You can take your. Your current slut down to Cracker Barrel, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

I hope you're happy.

[John Holmberg]

How would you propose a Cracker Barrel, Sam?

[Toledo]

You. I need to save money. Just say yes.

[Brady Bogen]

Oh, speaking of fish videos, Sam, she's gay now, too.

[Toledo]

Hey, what does that have to do with. I don't know what that has to do with anything here. We're just talking about Cracker Barrel. What is my homosexuality have to do with it? Hey, wait a second. Wait a second. My God. I'm just trying to get some free food.

[Brady Bogen]

Thousand dollar gift certificate.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't we. Let's go dummy this up and do a little gay marriage at the Cracker Barrel. You proposed to me. We get free food for a year. I break it off a week later. What are they, enough? Yeah, I mean, a week.

[Toledo]

Break it off.

[John Holmberg]

We got to consummate the proposal. That's how gay marriage works. You gotta. Right there.

[Toledo]

Hey, wait a second. I thought we were just joking. Wait a second. It was just a bit for free food.

[John Holmberg]

I know, man.

[Toledo]

I just want to just, just, just, just a concept. Just make it legit. We just make it legit.

[John Holmberg]

But then you'd scare all the Cracker Barrel people. Go, okay, we're engaged now, and in gay weddings, you consummate right at the proposal site. So I'm gonna just code him right in front of you Cracker Barrel people. I think I like the new promotion, you know.

[Brady Bogen]

Oh, man.

[Toledo]

And I'm gonna need some more rolls.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway. Let's do that. Everybody go down and dummy up a proposal. Get. We'll break Cracker Barrel.

[Brady Bogen]

Five couples get chosen.

[John Holmberg]

Just five? Yeah. Oh, so you can go down there and do your proposal, and then they.

[Brady Bogen]

Have to use you.

[John Holmberg]

And then the Cracker Barrel.

[Brady Bogen]

Send them the video.

[John Holmberg]

Judgment board. Yes. Takes a look at the videos. Yeah, that's dumb.

[Toledo]

We'll still go by the rule of God. I'm really happy for you two fellas, but I don't know if you've read the book lately, but your sinners. Hey, wait a second.

[Brady Bogen]

Let's get to some radio videos.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady Bogen]

I only have a couple. Can you do all three? Because the one I was trying to do this morning, he's got him. All right, this is a guy lifting up his girlfriend by his side, trying to put her over his shoulders, like there can do one of those somersaults, bolts onto the legs. You'll have to see it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I understand. She's on the ground and he's got his legs apart. Well, that's the ending. All right, here's how it starts. I was gonna say.

[Toledo]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, now they're in a car that resets. All right, this is just. This is terrible so far.

[Toledo]

Great setup.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody's standing on another person's car twerking. Oh, falls. Right.

[Brady Bogen]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

How many times you think that's happened? She just tweets herself right through the front.

[Brett Vesely]

Ask Prince, sir.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

It's a big aspirin. It is. That's a Kardashians happen to be washing your car. All right, Brady.

[Brady Bogen]

It's the dude on a motorcycle. I I. The knee gets jammed on the turn.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so far, these are. Oh, that. What in the world does he just pass out? Like, he just stops riding the bike for?

[Toledo]

Cape got caught in the tire.

[Brady Bogen]

Oh, it does. Cape got caught in the tire.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Toledo]

He' Time out.

[John Holmberg]

Did you say cape?

[Toledo]

Cape? Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Look again.

[John Holmberg]

He's wearing a cape.

[Toledo]

He's wearing a cape. And you can see the cape is attached.

[Brady Bogen]

I see the cape.

[John Holmberg]

You mean. Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

He choked out.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Now I'm happy.

[Brady Bogen]

But then you see the leg on the inside on the turn.

[John Holmberg]

That's the cape.

[Toledo]

But it's the cape. It's definitely the cape.

[John Holmberg]

All right. At first they felt bad. Now dude in a cape getting hurt makes me. I'm fine with it. Cape guy.

[Toledo]

It's like, I don't know if you ever do this. Have you ever been watching a football game where you don't care about either team? Team. And then you'll be rooting for one team? Like, I hope this one team wins. And then you see a fan of that team in the stand. It looks like such an ass.

[John Holmberg]

You know what?

[Toledo]

I want that guy to be unhappy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I just. Yeah. Certain people being sad makes me happy. That's a.

[Toledo]

And I just. I switched the middle of that video. I actually, I felt bad for the guy because it looked like a painful injury. And I'm like, oh, no, he's wearing a cape.

[John Holmberg]

When I heard the word tape, I'm like, oh, I hope that gets wound up in a tire and pulls you off of the bike. And that's exactly what happened.

[Brady Bogen]

All right, so here's the couple's lift.

[John Holmberg]

Or Asian people trying to get to the balloon.

[Brady Bogen]

He's going to flip her over in the back.

[John Holmberg]

He's got her now.

[Brady Bogen]

Watch carefully. Look at his shorts.

[John Holmberg]

Pile driving her. He's pile driving her.

[Brady Bogen]

Well, he's going to pile drive it.

[John Holmberg]

All right. He's poop. He pooped. Oh. And then dumps her in it. He took a diarrhea poo. And it shot out of his shorts. And then she landed in it. Oh, no.

[Brady Bogen]

Crab cakes.

[John Holmberg]

She's got it in her hand.

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you sick prick. When he lifts her up, listen for the. The moment she's not that heavy.

[Toledo]

All right?

[John Holmberg]

And it makes a little splat sound.

[Toledo]

He knows it. You can see the look on his face. He knows it's coming, but he's being.

[Brady Bogen]

A gentleman by not dropping.

[Toledo]

Well. He's trying to play along and he's trying to concentrate. Trait. I think the most fascinating part of it is the first three or four seconds where you can see on his face that he's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's not trusting this one.

[Toledo]

Oh, no. Yeah, he's grimacing.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't even walk away from it, though. He lets her land in it.

[Toledo]

He's trying to smile, knowing.

[Brady Bogen]

Can't wipe your mouth now. Both hands.

[John Holmberg]

Those people's jokes have advanced so much further than the pee and the coke thing.

[Brady Bogen]

Now they're off to crack.

[Toledo]

You can't wipe your mouth. I didn't even think about that. Your hands just went.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my. That was horrible. All right, well, speaking of horrible, Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a little light today, but I've still got some.

[John Holmberg]

Some Brett's videos all come from the Dark Web.

[Brett Vesely]

And they are. They're sent to me. These aren't.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't see video came from who.

[Toledo]

Sends them to you.

[Brett Vesely]

It started out as one listener and then everybody else accepted it.

[Brady Bogen]

Now we've got toppers.

[Brett Vesely]

So now it's like, all right, watch this one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, so now it's this one's. Brace yourself.

[Brett Vesely]

Kind of watch out for, you know when you're doing construction work. Work.

[Toledo]

Oh, so this is just like the warm up to this video.

[John Holmberg]

What's happening?

[Brett Vesely]

Truck Guys that heard some dudes construction.

[Toledo]

That a train? It looks like some being filmed on a security camera.

[John Holmberg]

Slow moving something Nice build up here for you. I hate when you build these. Get to the murder. Is that truck going to tip over?

[Brady Bogen]

Oh, here we go. Taking a long time.

[Toledo]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a steamroller. Oh, my God.

[Toledo]

A steamroller just crushed the guy, then came back over him.

[John Holmberg]

Oops.

[Brett Vesely]

Didn't mean that.

[Toledo]

As if to say sorry about that. Let me go the other way.

[Brady Bogen]

Who tells him to back up.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

And then this one was.

[Brady Bogen]

I like that guy. Guy.

[Brett Vesely]

This one was the one that was actually sent to you last week.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay.

[Brett Vesely]

That you didn't watch. I just watched it.

[John Holmberg]

And? Pretty awful.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, it's going to remind you of a certain rock band.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Oh, Great white, I'm guessing. No. No.

[Toledo]

All right, let's see certain rock band.

[John Holmberg]

Find out what we've got here. Yes. Get her. I didn't listen to the voc. Oh, no. This is an L7 memory.

[Toledo]

Crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, fighting. These two girls are elbows, elbows and elbows. Oh. Oh, she's just biting her face.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's not over yet.

[John Holmberg]

She's pulling something out, isn't she? Oh, she's reaching in. She's getting the robe tampon. She's reaching. She's pulling out the road, but she's got to go deep for it.

[Toledo]

Oh, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

It's a five. Oh, the over. Oh, it's out. Don't feed it to her, please.

[Toledo]

Oh, you sick. No, no, no, no. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he put it in her mouth. Oh, she loves it. People are, like, gathered around. This is an event.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah, she still hasn't tapped out.

[John Holmberg]

This is backyard wrestling. Oh, geez. I think a chance. No good. Holy Christ, Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

So we'll end on that.

[John Holmberg]

It's not even so much that that's on video. There were, like, 200 people there.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Paid attendees. Yeah.

[Toledo]

And that went down as the bloodiest wrestling match of all time.

[Brady Bogen]

The Flow League.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the center. Pennies were everywhere. Oh, my goodness. Well, hello. Thank you, Brett. You're.

[Brett Vesely]

No problem.

[John Holmberg]

You are not. Thank me.

[Brett Vesely]

They're sending it to me.

[John Holmberg]

I know, but you're. You're the one who has to sift through it and find the gems. And you're doing a great job. Andy Dufresne would never touch a woman again. He immediately went down and asked the sisters for another run.

[Brett Vesely]

He went to the gay rehab after that.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? What you guys been doing ain't so bad.

[Toledo]

Andy asked the question. We were all thinking, what does that.

[John Holmberg]

Have to do with anything? Yuck. Yeah. If you don't remember, L7, right? Yeah.

[Toledo]

Of course.

[John Holmberg]

On stage, pulled it out and whipped it and threw it at the crowd.

[Toledo]

I'm sure you could probably find that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. We don't need to see. That was it Infest.

[Toledo]

I think the first Infest in Seattle.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And she pulled it out, and it was like that weird Maroonish brown. We all know it. And she spun it first like a lasso.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right, go. Well, that's your Brady Report Federation never All the news you never want to tell.

[Toledo]

Well, that's your pre. Well, it's just one gross image.

[John Holmberg]

Brought to you by Hooters. It's 98k up. Sorry it's out of control.

[Toledo]

Now.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that knee to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now, the core institute.com and our friend Craig Gast joins us this week. He's going to do super bowl things and you're kind of are. You're going to be our correspondent, although we're more borrowing off of what you do. Our man on the streets then you are doing things for us, correct?

[Toledo]

Sherry, want me to ask horrible questions?

[John Holmberg]

If you'd like to, we could not tonight. You're going to the media day thing.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I'm waiting to get my.

[John Holmberg]

You're trying to go. Well, legally, yes, you will go.

[Toledo]

I usually go legally. And I send the content to the super bowl cities. Yes, whatever cities are being represented. I send it to my buddies out there and go, here, you can take this. And I get silly and fun stuff. And I'm also doing two nights of shows, one in Gilbert and one in Glendale. All the info'[e-mail] I'm at JP's Comedy Club Wednesday in Gilbert. Stir crazy on Thursday, a bunch of friends are performing with me.

[John Holmberg]

Who you got?

[Toledo]

GetGast.com I mean, I can't. I can't. They're in town and but yeah, I can't. It would be a dick move to say, hey, and then these guys are.

[John Holmberg]

Going to join and you're not here for the super bowl itself because then you could do our show Sunday with Adam Ray and special guests and Gary Cannon. No, we're doing it up at CB live up in Scottsdale. CB live at like 2 o'clock before the show starts. We're going to have.

[Toledo]

You can do an afternoon show.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then build right into the watch Party.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

So just everybody goof around, do some standup about things and then go right into the Super Bowl.

[Toledo]

Used to be notoriously my drunkest day of the year.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Toledo]

Here in Arizona, the. The game comes on at 4, 4 34. So usually start drinking one or two. Oh man. 8pm on Super Bowl Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

Just plaster ugly.

[Toledo]

Really looking for.

[John Holmberg]

Do you miss it?

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Not at all. Right. It's a good thing that it's all off your radar now. It's all because I've been around you with, you know, pressures and people drinking and all that. You don't even seem to have, have like an itch. It doesn't bother you to be around it? No. Maybe at least outwardly guys will like party.

[Toledo]

Like Greg Wilson was doing Questions.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. Kind of anonymous is. Is anonymous to you. So Greg Wilson is bumping. Go ahead.

[Toledo]

Craig W. That's right.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah, much better, Much better.

[Toledo]

Greg W. Is chopping coke, goes, oh man, I'm sorry, should I not be doing this in front of you? And I go, I go, it's fine. He goes, okay. He kept snorting it.

[John Holmberg]

Craig. Well, now we know he has a problem. Craig W. We hope Ilson gets better.

[Toledo]

Greg started, ended up with the same problem I had. He had a heart attack.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no kidding.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I had a heart attack. Greg had a heart attack. So we're. So he's still, I think, I think he's sober. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Because you didn't sober up because of the heart attack.

[Toledo]

It scared me straight for a year and two weeks.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Toledo]

And then I relapsed. And then the two year anniversary of the heart attack, I was like, what am I doing?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And then I just had this moment of clarity that people talk about.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't that crazy? And since then, nothing. Yeah, pretty amazing.

[Toledo]

Nothing. No drugs, no alcohol. 18 years. And then that first year that I got sober, seven of my friends died.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Toledo]

All comedians. Four drug overdose. Three drinking and driving, car accidents. It's how I know Mitch Hedberg was my first roommate in New York. Mitch is the first of seven comedian friends of mine who died from drugs or alcohol in the first year that I got cleaned. So when March 31st hits this year, I'll know it'll be exactly 18 years that Mitch has been gone because.

[John Holmberg]

Is that 18 years?

[Toledo]

It's been 18 years since Mitch passed away.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Toledo]

Did you ever have him on your show?

[John Holmberg]

I would have guessed nine. Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Mitch was awesome. Like one of the like single most creative mind to come in this room.

[Brady Bogen]

It's so fun to look at him as he's is the mind's working.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he was great.

[Brady Bogen]

The eyes closed a little bit.

[Toledo]

He's so. First night I ever met him was one of the most beautiful nights I've ever. Stand up comedy. I'm. I. There would be comedians that would. I was in Seattle doing open mics, trying to figure out how to do it, and there'd be certain comedians that had reputation, like, oh, man. Patton Oswald. You got it. Really? Oh, yeah. Patton Oswald's like, he's a killer. Oh, man. Mitch Hedberg.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Really, dude? Yeah, dude. That guy's rock and roll. He's so cool. So I campaign not knowing anything about this guy. Mitch Headburg. I want to open for Mitch Head. Can I be the opener? And like, yeah, yeah. So I get the gig and Mitch shows up and I go, hey, Mitch, I'm Craig. Guess I'm your opening act. And he goes, all right, on, man. Yeah. And then I go up and I do my welcome to the show. I'm Craig High energy. And I go, are you guys ready for your headliner? Please welcome Mitch. Edward. It's Sol.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Mitch gets up on stage and there's this weird moment where he goes, all right, hey, where. Where is Thomas? Thomas? And the whole crowd's like, ready for a comedy show. And he goes, thomas. Where is Thomas? And you hear a guy in the back room, he goes, I'm back here, man. There's. There's no chairs. And he goes, what? Thomas? Just. Can somebody find a seat for Thomas? Oh, you know what? Screw it. Thomas. I have a chair right here on the stage and just come up here on stage. And then everyone's dead silent. You hear this. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, excuse me. This guy's walking through a sold out crowd. He gets up on stage, turns around and everyone starts laughing because nobody knows who the hell this guy Thomas is. But as soon as he turns around, I was like, God, that guy is hot. That guy is really high. He sits down, he's got a leather jacket on. And I'll always remember, Thomas hat had a pin on his jacket. It wasn't a legitimate merch pin from Spencer's. He had a homemade pin where he had typed the word motorhead and made a pin out of it on his jacket. He turns around and Mitch goes, all right, well, my name's Mitch and these are my jokes. And he starts doing material. And every time he does a joke. Back then, before he built his own audience, the audience would take a Beat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And analyze what he said. And they'd start laughing. There was always like a halfbeat, like, oh, my God, it was riddles. It was riddles.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And they would start laughing. Mitch would start to do his next joke when Thomas understood what just happened. And Thomas would start giggling, which would make Mitch go, ha, ha. Hell yeah. And the crowd would laugh again, again. And then Thomas and Mitch would laugh again.

[John Holmberg]

So happy. Thomas, that's glorious.

[Toledo]

And every joke he did had 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 waves of laughter. Every joke.

[John Holmberg]

And then the recognition of people who got it later. And then the. And then it just kept going.

[Toledo]

In 45 minutes, Mitch did what would have been easily a 10 or 15 minute set because. Because every joke had so many waves of laughter. And then a couple years later, Mitch lets me move in with him in New York. And.

[John Holmberg]

Because you're homosexuals.

[Toledo]

What does that have to do.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, go ahead, finish the story.

[Toledo]

So, first day that I moved into his apartment, I got he. I'm trying to get my bearings straight, and Mitch is trying to tell me where everything is, because I'm gonna have the apartment to myself the first weekend in New York. And so he's like, oh, yeah, man, this is the key for this door. And this is the key for this, the security door. And then at one point he goes, oh, hey, Craig, this is a map of the New York City subway. And on the back of his front door was this enormous map of the MTA system, which, the first time you look at it, it's very confusing. It's red, blue, yellow lines all crossing over each other. And I'm looking at the map, and Mitch goes, so that's how that works. And he walks away. And what the hell? You know, I'm still confused, but, yeah, Mitch, 18 years.

[John Holmberg]

That's amazing. I would have never guessed 18. I would have maybe put 10 on that. Maybe.

[Toledo]

Yeah, it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's.

[Toledo]

God, the guy loved decadence. And the last time we saw him.

[Brady Bogen]

He'S laying down on the.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, he was at Celebrity Theater. Yeah, he was at Celebrity Theater. I heard pills thrown at him.

[Toledo]

Pills. And he was eating the pills.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And evidently the show was ridiculously funny. And then everybody's like, was that real? And it turns out that was very real, that the audience was chucking pills at him, and he was just eating them off the floor one afternoon, not. Not caring what they were or what was going on.

[Toledo]

I would hear when I was living with him, we would drink. He smoked. Never saw heroin.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Toledo]

Never saw. And I Would hear. When I was living with him, Mitch signed a deal with. It was either Fox or ABC for almost a million dollars for a holding deal, which is, here's a million dollars. Don't work with anybody else else for two years.

[John Holmberg]

Just in case we get something.

[Toledo]

We don't know what we're going to put you in.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Toledo]

But here's a million dollars. So you don't work with any other network. And there's many times where those deals expire and you just keep the money. It's like, all right, see you. And once he got that money, he moved out of the apartment and into the Chelsea Hotel. And I didn't hear from him. And that's when I started hearing stories like, you know, Mitch is really messed up. Really bad. No, Mitch. And one of the stories was celebrity. The theater.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

He was eating pills off the.

[John Holmberg]

It was like a year later, maybe less, that he died.

[Toledo]

That he died.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

I heard that he also walked off the stage and made out with an elderly lady. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Which was not because. All right. That was just okay to do. I. I recommend you take that joke. I think you should start that Craig Guess like a Neil diamond moment of your show.

[Toledo]

You're like, the old lady's like, what does this have to do with anything?

[Brady Bogen]

All right, let's do sexual.

[John Holmberg]

Stop it. Yeah. So it'll be interest. So tonight, I think that's what you should do when you go to the media night.

[Toledo]

Take the pills.

[John Holmberg]

Is take some pills and then make out with one of the older players.

[Toledo]

Throw pills at Mahomes.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. Yeah. Do you have questions at the ready? Should we have listeners ask send you questions?

[Toledo]

If you want to send me questions, you can send me questions. And I already have a theme.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Toledo]

My theme is to focus on Eagles fans. Because of that. They're horrible because of that. Because they've booed Santa Claus, they've thrown.

[John Holmberg]

They. They cheered when Michael Irvin was carted off on a stretcher because his neck possibly broke in Philly.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And they cheered wildly.

[Toledo]

And when they won a Super bowl, the fans ate horse manure.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember that.

[Toledo]

You're kidding. No.

[John Holmberg]

I thought that was just a. I thought that was called a Philly cheese steak.

[Brady Bogen]

I did that after.

[John Holmberg]

I thought they did that every day. Me neither.

[Toledo]

You can look that up.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brett Vesely]

Look it up.

[Toledo]

They what? They were celebrating in the streets and a video went viral of fans next to a horse on a cop on a horse. And they're like, yeah, I'm gonna eat this Horse. And they start taking piles.

[John Holmberg]

I need fiber. Yeah. Yeah. It was better than eating a Philly lady, that's for sure.

[Brady Bogen]

That's what they kept saying.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This tastes like your wife, Dave. Yuck. Philadelphia.

[Toledo]

Do it. Drive me to Wachovia.

[John Holmberg]

Go.

[Toledo]

Oh, wait.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. You've got. You've got a video of it immediately.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah, here we go.

[John Holmberg]

I can't. I'm not. I'm not Brett. I shouldn't. So it's a TMZ video. So they talk most.

[Toledo]

My goal is to talk to Eagles players and get them to paint a rosy picture.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Of their fans. Cuz. Which they will.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. He is face into the manure. Okay, that's horrible. I'd rather watch that fish from last. So that's enough of that.

[Toledo]

That back up Eagles players will give me a will through rose colored glasses. Describe their fans as being great and wonderful and literally everyone else will tell the truth.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. And that's the Chiefs players to describe Eagles fans.

[Toledo]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. That's pretty stuff.

[Toledo]

They'll still get. They'll still be diplomatic, which is why I want to go to fans. But the Eagles players across the board will defend their fans. Yeah, of course.

[John Holmberg]

Somehow.

[Toledo]

Somehow.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a non TMZ video.

[John Holmberg]

And this is the dude staggering drunk down the road in a Randall Cunningham jersey because he hasn't had enough money since Cunningham left the Eagles to buy another jersey.

[Toledo]

Bouncing back and forth like he's about to get in a fist fight, like he's hyping himself up.

[John Holmberg]

God, it's happening and it's a lot.

[Toledo]

He's doing it.

[John Holmberg]

Now. Now he's on his knees and that's when you realize on his knees, he's.

[Toledo]

Got face down in horse manure. There are pellets of horse manure.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God.

[Toledo]

And he's putting his face right in. Everybody's getting their cameras in.

[John Holmberg]

Listen to the fans of Philly. Excited about it. Like they're happy about it.

[Toledo]

John, you just missed the grossest shot. The grossest shot of it.

[Brady Bogen]

Now he displays the biscuit in the mouth.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I know. No, I'm not watching it again.

[Toledo]

Wait, pause, pause. Right on it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there. I saw. I saw it. I saw. Enough right there. That's enough. I get it. What are you, Kevin Costner all of a sudden? It's not the Zapruder film.

[Brett Vesely]

It's terrible quality.

[Toledo]

One back to the left.

[John Holmberg]

Back. It's up to you. Oh, God. All right, I get it. I know what's in there. Yeah.

[Toledo]

So how do they submit questions to me?

[John Holmberg]

Well, we can do it through this. [e-mail] and I'll hand them over and we'll go. As the morning goes, there's questions you want. If you were on the media row tonight asking any players for either team a question, Craig will be the liaison between you and the player themselves. Any question you want to ask, have you. Have you seen this fish video yet? Is the first thing I see. And then you just show somebody the fish. Have you seen. Have you seen trout lady yet?

[Toledo]

It's tough.

[John Holmberg]

Let's make trout lady huge. I will ask them all that. Just say, have you googled trout lady yet? And then there'll be no but then NFL Network will be like, comedian Craig, gasp, trout lady. And then they'll look and they'll be like, oh, my sweet Jesus, why? And then it'll be a national story.

[Toledo]

As you know, the NFL is very, very conservative.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Toledo]

And I'm always. I try to get close to the line. I won't go to the line.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Toledo]

But I try to get close line. Mike. Artie Lang. I was with Artie when he got banned by the NFL for asking a question that got the answer that got him in trouble. His question was, this was Super Bowl 47 in New Orleans, San Francisco versus Raven, Ravens, 49ers versus Ravens. And for the first time, a player had come out as an active player, had come out as being gay.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Toledo]

And Artie said to one of the guys on the 49ers, what would you do if you found out that one of your teammates was gay? And the 49ers player said, I punch him in the mouth. I remember, you better not get close to me. I'll punch you. And Artie goes, oh, yeah. Really? Yeah. He, like, put the microphone up in his face and let him finish and let him continue. Continue. And he continued to expand on the idea of physically assaulting one of his teammates. And because of the way that player.

[John Holmberg]

Answered, already got banned for bringing it.

[Toledo]

Up, for bringing it out.

[John Holmberg]

So we won't talk about your gay stuff. We'll keep that. We'll keep that just between us on this show. All right, well, stuff.

[Toledo]

And Gilbert on Wednesday and then moving it all over Glendale onto all the tickets for the comedy shows. Wednesday, Gilbert. Thursday, Thursday, Glendale. Getgas.com getgas with 2s's.com all right, we'll.

[John Holmberg]

Get some questions, and then we'll see if people have some good ones. But if you want [e-mail]. We'll send Craig armed with your questions, and he'll siphon through and see if we can get one. We got a what would Brady do? Coming up next. It's 98. It's out of control now. It's John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins and my home group and Doug Hopkins dot com. When I have questions about real estate, I look no further than TV's Doug Hopkins. And right now, the market seems to be on pause. It's not bad, but it's not great. And Doug told me that selling a house right now might be a little bit tough. If you need or want to sell your home right now, the best way to avoid all the traditional real estate pitfalls is to call TVs Doug Hopkins right now 1-800-sell now or start the entire process on online@doug hopkins.com. everybody sing. All right, I've got a few questions we're gonna get to for Craig. And then we got.

[Brady Bogen]

There's gotta be some.

[John Holmberg]

There's a couple of good ones in here. I've. I've edited, I've added, I've helped. And we'll just include it in. What would Brady do? As we speak right now. What would Brady do? That's right. What would Brady do? The most moral man in all of Phoenix is here to solve your problems. And the questions I. I have from some listeners here and from me. This one's from me. I like this one. I've rented my Airbnb to a family of Eagles fans. What do you suggest I use to get the smell out after they leave?

[Toledo]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

You can ask any of the Chiefs.

[Toledo]

Can I get you on camera asking the question? So it's not me asking it.

[John Holmberg]

I'll do it. Yeah, you'd say, hey, a friend of mine has this question. Hold me up, I'll do it. This one says every office in America. You can ask either team. Every office in America has the employee that makes them nervous that someday he's gonna snap. Known as the office weirdo. Who is that on your team?

[Toledo]

That's a great question.

[John Holmberg]

That's a really good question.

[Toledo]

That's a similar.

[Brady Bogen]

Because they could have some fun with that if they wanted that.

[John Holmberg]

Because everybody's got an office weirdo. Every time you say it, you're like, we know who every guy in this room is thinking of the person when we say office weirdo without, you know, naming him.

[Toledo]

It's a great question.

[John Holmberg]

Greg Wilson.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Loves coping it up.

[John Holmberg]

He's cleaning the corners of the floor with his face.

[Toledo]

You know what's funny? I think Greg is here this week.

[John Holmberg]

Is he? Well, we'll bring him in outperforming at.

[Toledo]

Stir Crazy on Thursday. I think he's there the next day.

[John Holmberg]

All right, well, maybe. Depends on his behavior, right? Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

And then he'll be at the chop house.

[John Holmberg]

Which one of the Eagles or Chiefs players, depending on who you ask, is more likely going to be notorious in this game for the play that ruins everything. Ooh. Asset of any team, either one.

[Toledo]

Ask them obviously, about the other team. Right.

[John Holmberg]

You're not going to say, yeah, who's going to wreck it for them?

[Toledo]

Who's going to wreck it for them?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you don't have anybody.

[Toledo]

And that I can tell you right now from my experience, you're not going to get.

[John Holmberg]

They're a quality team. You know, they're really. We just got to be mind our own business.

[Brady Bogen]

No one will give anyone a.

[Toledo]

And it's funny, cuz this whole thing becomes a Jedi mind trick. How to watch go around. Around them, their diplomacy.

[John Holmberg]

O.J. simpson said, you're going to win the game. Does that make you want to throw it? Hey, Twitter world, I got an idea. Eagles gonna win this game. Craig, he's not gonna win.

[Toledo]

And if I gotta be honest, you know what bothers me is that he's always right on everything.

[John Holmberg]

He's never wrong. Like, you watch me. Like, Jesus, he's making great points. Stop making great points.

[Toledo]

I feel like he's gonna snap.

[John Holmberg]

I got this old.

[Toledo]

What do you say about Roe versus Wade?

[John Holmberg]

I disagree.

[Toledo]

You know, this whole Roe versus Wade thing, I think they got this thing wrong. If I'm gonna be honest. I think women have the right to choose unless it comes down to who they date or what they wear. Fellas, you know what I'm talking about.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think you should be allowed to kill anything until it's like in its 30s.

[Toledo]

I guess comes down to I don't know where life begins, but I know where it ends. Have a good holiday. All right, I'm just, I'm just saying.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just saying.

[Toledo]

I'm just saying.

[Brady Bogen]

The last one, when the Bills were playing their final playoff game, his patio was decked out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

For this big party. He's the only one there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, he's the only one that'll be on camera. There's people behind camera like, I love OJ's parties, but I'm not gonna, I'm not going on camera.

[Toledo]

Probably hundreds of People on the other side of the camera having a party.

[John Holmberg]

And.

[Toledo]

That being said, any of you in this room this week, you're out at a restaurant.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. I'd be best friends with him in seconds. Absolutely.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, absolutely.

[Toledo]

100 for the story. Yeah, you do it for the story.

[John Holmberg]

That's another question. And ask one of the running backs for either team, if OJ Simpson took you under his wing and gave you football advice and wanted to hang out, would you go meet with him now?

[Toledo]

I'm not trying to be a puss.

[John Holmberg]

You're being a puss.

[Toledo]

But these are the kind of questions, the OJ Questions, where someone could get.

[John Holmberg]

Quit talking about it. Yeah. Yes.

[Brady Bogen]

They know what you're doing.

[Toledo]

But I, I admire the question.

[John Holmberg]

It's a great question.

[Toledo]

It's a great question. Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

OJ at the bar, screwdriver. What are you offering?

[John Holmberg]

It's a good one.

[Toledo]

OJ Says you're going to win the game. Do you throw it now?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. Does that make you kind of want to throw it?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I like that. I like renting the Eagles fans and getting the smell. The office employee is a good one. You've got some gems here, Craig, if you get in tonight. That's how it works.

[Toledo]

I remember Russell Wilson, notoriously robotic.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, he's not human being.

[Toledo]

And I thought, I'm going to sneak in a joke, make him laugh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Then when I get him to laugh, I'll throw in a question when he puts his guard down. And the, the, the thing that made him laugh was I said, russell, my name is Craig Gass. I'm a stand up comedian. Anyone who knows you knows that you're a man of faith. Am I right? And he said, absolutely. And I said, okay. Have you ever seen Cam Chancellor hit somebody so hard that you went, oh, my God, we got to pray for that guy. And he started laughing. And I go, all right. And Russell, who on the Seahawks most needs to go to church? And he went, I'm not touching that. Like, he thought about it for a second and said, I'm not touching.

[Brady Bogen]

He's got his list.

[John Holmberg]

He knows he's got his list. Yeah, it's a, it's a tough one because they're so cut and dry. And then they kind of want it to be fun, but then they take all the fun away. But we're gonna get you a few. We'll get you some more. If you have anything, we can farm over [e-mail] and we can give them to Craig Gas as he wanders around this evening looking for people to annoy, which is what you're gonna do. What are your questions? You got all lined up?

[Toledo]

You got anything good about the Eagles fans is the focus. That's what I want the whole video because I want everybody video to be. A couple years ago, my. My focus was my birthday is always two weeks after the Super Bowl. I walked around to all the Rams and Patriots players and said, my birthday's in two weeks. How do I look like you in two weeks.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty solid.

[Toledo]

And every. There was a guy from the Rams who said, pray to Jesus before. Before I even finish the question. But the best response was Rob Gronkowski, who looked at. And he went, oh. And he looked me up and down and he said, how long do you have? And I said. And I put the microphone in his face and I went, two weeks. And he goes, oh, wow, okay, like, off the top. Thousand burpees a day. And I go, what? And I put the mic back in his face. He goes, yeah, that thousand, like, for sure, 14,000 burpees should put you over the top. But, like, I'm gonna go from this to Gronk to Gronk in two weeks.

[Brady Bogen]

I think it's possible, bro.

[John Holmberg]

He probably believes it. Yeah. Yeah.

[Toledo]

A thousand burpees a day.

[John Holmberg]

That's hilarious. To start.

[Toledo]

To start to kick you off.

[John Holmberg]

That's the first thing.

[Toledo]

The first thing.

[John Holmberg]

You're not done. Your workout's not over. It's time for what would Brady do? As we work through these questions, it's brought to you by our friends at Mo Money Pond. MMP Guns right inside there. If you want to go down there and do like Brett did and build your own, they've got that whole system in place for you. Save some money doing that and learn a whole bunch about the gun you're actually getting. Learn how to clean it, learn how to handle it, Learn all of its mechanics. Easy enough. They're all certified and ready to go. Plus, they got all that great stuff inside their store, which is brand new and beautiful on 12th street in Indian School. Mo money pawn.com. brady, are you ready? Ready, Craig. You can help at any time. Dear Brady. Hair plugs and hair treatment. I'm 30, I'm balding fast, and I have a flat, weird bald head. Or spruce up the fiance's cans. Now, a recent. A friend of mine recently just had hair plugs put in.

[Toledo]

How do they look?

[John Holmberg]

About. Nothing's happening yet. About 15 grand. That's what.

[Brady Bogen]

Have you ever Seen a couple of new things available. There's a new gel that's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Don't trust it if you're already bald. It doesn't work.

[Brady Bogen]

Chia spread. It grows your hair naturally.

[John Holmberg]

No, it doesn't. That's. You're watching too much late night tv.

[Toledo]

I. By asking this question that there may be a potential advertiser here at the station. But have you ever seen it work? Well.

[John Holmberg]

Not for people going from bald to something, but for people. Yeah.

[Toledo]

So thin hair.

[John Holmberg]

If they've got hair.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they. They fix it. Yeah, I've seen that work out.

[Brady Bogen]

Well, we have one guy that swears by the capulace. Wear that hat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

You got to wear it twice a day.

[John Holmberg]

I think you do the red light hats. Yeah. And that's. That's proven therapy. But you keep hair healthy.

[Brady Bogen]

Healthy.

[Toledo]

What's going on in the cap? What, is there something in the cat?

[John Holmberg]

Red light therapy.

[Brady Bogen]

Red lights in there. So it works if you like, stimulate.

[John Holmberg]

Brett's got great hair. And if he, you know, if he wore that, his hair would be healthier. But if you're bald like Brady and me and you, it's there. You got nothing. Because that would be called a cure and there isn't one. Or do you get his fiance new cans? What would you do? You got a flat, weird bald head.

[Brady Bogen]

Well, how. How far along is he? Okay.

[John Holmberg]

As far as what?

[Brady Bogen]

Because pregnancy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

With the hair loss. Like if it's completely gone. Because then that. That's a total change when you put that. Replacements.

[Toledo]

Which is the conversation. It's the conversation we're having right now. That. That if you're fully bald, it might be a waste of money.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Toledo]

But if you're just thinning, starting to.

[Brady Bogen]

Thin now, you touch it up. If you're just starting to thin a little bit, then start showing. I would touch it up, but I don't think it'll run you 15 grand. The only hesitation on the fiance thing is if she get. Gets him before she's. You're married.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You got to do it when you sayonara. No, no fiance.

[Brady Bogen]

You got to do it.

[Toledo]

You don't trust her.

[Brady Bogen]

Well, girls are.

[Toledo]

Man. Girls are.

[John Holmberg]

All of a sudden she's.

[Brady Bogen]

You're dropping that money on her.

[Toledo]

Everybody. Come on. Not with Devin Booker in town.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm not doing it. Halloween, he's handing them out to everybody that shows up.

[Toledo]

Just a dirty slut. You know how women are.

[John Holmberg]

You're.

[Brady Bogen]

And you're plunking out the money early on, you're setting a precedence for what you're going to have for the rest of them.

[John Holmberg]

How about this? She pays for her own cans. You pay for your own hair. I don't hear her offering up money for your hair. So you pay for your hair, and if she wants to buy her own cans, she can do that. And I know that seems like a bad idea, but Brady's right. You never buy. You never send a woman to school, and you never buy your cans. Fact.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, you know what that broad's going to say? Well, you were going to enjoy him too, so you should kick in for a while.

[John Holmberg]

Well, then, what a Chicago. You know that broad, he's loaded with those. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Two hours in, he opens a smell.

[John Holmberg]

And goes, well, you know the broads are going to do.

[Brady Bogen]

And when you get in the age. Welcome to Brett Sour spoiled milk.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He says, yeah, it's great theory. He's like, men age like wine and women age like milk. She's expired. I'm not racist, but let me say something. Oh, if I was, that'd be hilarious. The. Yeah, don't. You don't do that, especially for a fiance. I don't even think you should buy your wife cans. I think in this day and age of all this equality and nonsense, you should not be the one responsible. And if you do, you get paperwork says you get one back, but every woman listening, you get a half.

[Toledo]

Every woman listening to this is thinking the same thing about the guy getting the hair treatment.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

What are you trying to look better for if you're engaged? Like, why not just personal stuff?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, you get the same thing with boobs. Here's the good point.

[Brady Bogen]

Then the difference would be like if. If you turn around, if you said, I. I'm thinking about getting my hair tweaked.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Getting a piece. And she says, I love your hair the way it's at.

[John Holmberg]

But it's not. Would you go to.

[Brady Bogen]

Would you get the hair done?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because if his. If he's got.

[Brady Bogen]

If I had his hand, I think your hair looks great.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

The reason why I'm saying that, you can tell the woman that's like, I love your breasts. I think they're great right now. They're still.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. No woman believes that. Well, I know no woman believes that. Whatever you're saying, whatever you're saying, it's like you. And you don't believe it either. If you're saying, God, these. These are the best breasts ever. But if you want to add to them, it's like a house. It's like 3,000 square foot house you love, but you're like, somebody wants to think, throw on 1100 square feet.

[Brett Vesely]

Throwing in a game room.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to take that? Yeah, it is. It's. It's. You're going to be all for it. No, I don't care what your wife's boobs look like right now. If she said she wanted to make them bigger and a little bit stronger, you'd be like, yeah, that's okay. It's very tempting. But she should pay for that kick in half. Yeah, get one back. You got to be smart about this.

[Toledo]

I just love that the girl is going to look better and it's. Oh, man. But you know what happens when they look better, right?

[John Holmberg]

That's a good point too. Craig's making. If you put can in her and your big flat bald head's still hanging around a couple years, she's gonna look at you like, I can upgrade in a heartbeat over old rockhead here. Get your hair done. You got nothing else for the glutes. You've got a good bald head, don't you, Craig, under that hat? Yeah, it's round.

[Toledo]

Well, it's shaved. Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have lumps or a flat.

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I feel sorry for those guys that lose their hair and they've got lunky heads because.

[Toledo]

Weird shaped heads. Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

Because my head is actually pretty good shape, which I'm fortunate because I have no hair.

[Toledo]

It's weird shape head guys listening to this right now going, oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

They know you can put an entire meal on it like a table. It's like flat on top and it's weird. Dear Brady, my wife decided she doesn't want to shave down there anymore. She's going old school. At first it was sort of fun, but let me tell you this. The men of the 70s evidently had zero sensitivity to smell because that hair holds everything. That fish video you guys have been talking about, by the way. Send it to me, Brett. I think it could have starred my wife. It was a lady in it, Harry. Anyway, I want to talk to her about it, but she's big on this thing. What do you suggest, Tyler?

[Brady Bogen]

Talk to her about it. Don't be afraid to.

[John Holmberg]

We'll get in the shower and scrub it up. Don't go down on her after hiking and a day at the house. Make sure she's showered up. Yeah. Put some prel in there. Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Some Aussie hair salad.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe style it up if you're gonna.

[Toledo]

Have it make it work 100% right about the hair, that it retains the smell. Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because it's just soaking in all the pee drippings.

[Toledo]

Same thing with butt hair. Same thing with butt hair.

[John Holmberg]

Very true. If your wife has butt hair, kill yourself.

[Brady Bogen]

Accumulate part.

[John Holmberg]

My wife's butt hair, she lets go rogue. And I'm a little. No, you lost me at wife's butt hair. She should be man managing that. But if she decided to go with the full.

[Brady Bogen]

She's tired of it.

[Toledo]

You know, my wife Pele.

[John Holmberg]

Still has a hairy butt. I don't. I don't know if she's tired of it. She's just going for a new thing.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah. She needs to save herself. It's.

[John Holmberg]

It's.

[Brady Bogen]

It's better to do it to groom it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you can groom it. You gotta wash it. And it's on him to not be so excited every time she gets all fired up.

[Brady Bogen]

Can't help myself.

[John Holmberg]

You get in the shower first because that thing stinks. Just tell her. She'd tell you.

[Brett Vesely]

But does that mean that she's not cleanly. I mean, she's. She's not keeping it clean.

[John Holmberg]

It means both of them are gross. Because she's willing to let him go down there without washing it. And he's willing to do it.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, we saw the trout lady.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. So the two of them are discussed.

[Brady Bogen]

She was groomed.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, she was actually.

[Toledo]

And then make it a fun thing to family activities. Yeah, let's. Let's groom it together. I'll.

[Brett Vesely]

For the whole family.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, let's get down there with the kids. Aussie hair salon.

[Brady Bogen]

Spice it up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And we'll get some hair salad.

[Toledo]

Mom's bush is scary.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna fix that today, Trevor.

[Brady Bogen]

Oh, good.

[John Holmberg]

You're right at eye height too. You can really eyeball the lines.

[Brady Bogen]

Get the head and shoulders in there and scrub it.

[John Holmberg]

Scrub it.

[Toledo]

God, mom, you really stink down there.

[John Holmberg]

This is a phrase that everyone. Woman shouldn't know. And it's the fact that she's like, go ahead. It starts pushing the top of your head down there.

[Brady Bogen]

Older. You might need some cell, some blue.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever you need. Ugh.

[Brett Vesely]

This guy said he would switch her body wash with a bottle of Nair.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's actually a good idea. I like that idea.

[Toledo]

Great line.

[Brady Bogen]

Teach that broad something.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Anyway, keep it clean. You're both a couple of pigs. Thank. Shave it down there. Never. Who announces that? Well, you should shave. What's going on? I ain't doing that no more. Hygiene is now secondary.

[Toledo]

I Think she's announcing to let him know. I think she's. In her mind. She thinks. She thinks she's being respectful by making the announcement instead of just doing it. Not saying anything about. She's trying to let him know, like, hey, I'm just.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to grow this thing out.

[Toledo]

I've decided I don't want to.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not going to wash it. And you're still going to do stuff.

[Toledo]

She's trying to communicate.

[John Holmberg]

It sounds like hillbilly communication.

[Brady Bogen]

Bad message.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

By scent.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She's announcing.

[Brady Bogen]

The Y is closed, man.

[Brett Vesely]

Thank God.

[John Holmberg]

So wash. Wash your wife's beef.

[Brady Bogen]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Dear Brady, my wife has asked me for a free pass for sex. You're gonna like this one. But there's a reason I have a physical condition that makes sex not at all work for me. Oh, no, not erectile disruption dysfunction. It's just my entire ability to have sex is nearly impossible. It's been 15 months since we've done anything. It's a problem for me in a huge way. I want her to be happy. She's a sexual woman. I can't do the oral thing because it's just frustrating. We've just stopped everything.

[Toledo]

Why is the oral thing. That's too many questions.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. I would assume it's frustrating because it has to stop there.

[Toledo]

Or maybe the frustrating is that she's not able to fit finish.

[John Holmberg]

Or maybe she's not excited about it because she knows.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Because she wants more than just that.

[Brady Bogen]

Maybe he lost his tongue in an accident.

[John Holmberg]

That could be too. That's very possible. She's hung on for dear life. And she's had a wish. No tongue. Your pelvis doesn't work anymore.

[Toledo]

Does she have a specific person that she wants to.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know yet. So she doesn't want to leave me. But she definitely wants sex. She's young, she's healthy. I can't stand the thought of her with another man. But I can't give her what she. She needs. I honestly haven't talked to anyone about this. What would Brady do? Wes.

[Toledo]

Dude, how great of a contest would this be for the morning show?

[John Holmberg]

Bang. Wes's life. Not a contest because we've already got a winner. Toledo no more. Yeah, I.

[Brady Bogen]

We've talked about it before. If that would ever, ever happen and to shut down, I. I would say I can't make you. I'd feel bad to feel like you have to be celibate the whole time or can't have any action. That's not Fair. I wouldn't ask that of anyone to do that on the other side either.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogen]

So I think you gotta, if. If you can stay together and have, like, an open marriage, which is tougher, or you gotta just let it go.

[John Holmberg]

Let her have at it. She doesn't leave you.

[Toledo]

Hey, ohmburn, it's yours truly.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, what's up?

[Toledo]

You know, I've been thinking a lot about what you guys are talking about with this gentleman, this listener. I love that you guys share these stories.

[John Holmberg]

What would you do to the wife who had this problem?

[Toledo]

Well, I don't understand why in situations like this where the woman is asking for something that you're not able to oblige with, why we don't just stab these bitches. And what's this?

[John Holmberg]

Listen, his name.

[Toledo]

What's his name?

[John Holmberg]

Wes? Wesley.

[Toledo]

Oh, Wesley. If you don't have any extra.

[John Holmberg]

I have extras. I'm just saying. All right, well, the advice from OJ is always good.

[Brady Bogen]

With OJ's final solution.

[Toledo]

I'm just saying.

[John Holmberg]

OJ's marital counseling. Always. I would just cut the head off. It's a solved problem.

[Toledo]

I've always found the best way to get a girl off is to scare them by threatening their life. They always get wet, if you know what I mean.

[John Holmberg]

Anyways, I'm just saying it was just a really bad period on Nicole's porch is what we're saying. Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

She just, you know, she was just going through a tough time and, you know, you gotta settle your marital differences, you know?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Toledo]

And if someone else gets involved, they gotta go, too. I'm just saying.

[Brady Bogen]

I'm just saying, I gotta get that guy.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think you couldn't do it? Your pelvis stops working for some reason, like you can't make the motions.

[Brady Bogen]

I'm not. I wouldn't ask my wife to stay with me through thick or thin on that.

[John Holmberg]

But if she says, I don't want to leave.

[Brady Bogen]

Still has those desires. But that would be a tough one. Yeah, I'd have to.

[Toledo]

Unbelievably tough one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Hopefully I would. Could maybe adjust to it, but I don't think.

[John Holmberg]

Or she comes back, like, limping.

[Brady Bogen]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Just.

[Brady Bogen]

Yeah, that'd be a tough one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, just gas.

[Toledo]

Comes back limp. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know. Oh, I'm so tired.

[Brett Vesely]

Was she hanging out with Lex Steel all weekend or what?

[John Holmberg]

All day? Oh, you know, we made a deal, remember? Oh, right, the dicks. How was it? And that was just very tired. That was just the backup.

[Brady Bogen]

I notice you have a lot of appointments, even the starters.

[John Holmberg]

I got to go to bed.

[Brady Bogen]

It's 5:30.

[John Holmberg]

I know. I got.

[Toledo]

Remember that girl? That girl that came out and said that she'd had sex with all the sons?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Toledo]

And she was like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And she named all the players and described as crazy.

[John Holmberg]

And then they got good and they're gonna bring her back. That was when they sucked. That was in the bubble season round, right? Yeah. She slept with all of them.

[Toledo]

And then they went eight.

[John Holmberg]

No. In the bubble and came back to the championship the next year.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know. Brett, you would.

[Toledo]

What would.

[John Holmberg]

But would Brett do? This is always a good one. What would Brett do if your pelvis doesn't work no more? These broads, these buds.

[Brett Vesely]

Hang with myself.

[John Holmberg]

Would you just kill yourself? What's the point of going on? That's a good point. West Bret is suggested potential. That's why we play. What would Brady do? What are you gonna do? Your pelvis don't work. What are you still wandering my earth? Exactly.

[Brady Bogen]

Here's a rope.

[Brett Vesely]

What use are you now?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, good point.

[Toledo]

Get it fixed, man.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. What.

[Brady Bogen]

Well, you do whatever you can to try to get it fixed, but.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Sounds like I. You know, what if. What if it he has another year left of living. No, but like it's been 15 months and it takes facilitated Izzy though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Like he can't move it at all.

[John Holmberg]

Bedridden or what Function means like nothing works. Right.

[Toledo]

Got to be.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe just so his cranks doesn't.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I don't want to get into it too much with him.

[Brett Vesely]

Cuz if that's the case, she can just jump up there and these are.

[John Holmberg]

Questions you should ask the Chiefs or Eagles tonight.

[Toledo]

Wesley can't bang his wife.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. My friend Wesley cannot have sex physically anymore.

[Toledo]

Wesley, can you also send a phone number?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We'd like to talk to your wife a little bit about this and see what she's going through. Maybe take her to lunch and then.

[Toledo]

You know, give her a good railing.

[John Holmberg]

Fill her up with advice. Yeah. We want to rail your wife for you, Wesley. We'll do it.

[Brady Bogen]

We're good people, Honor.

[John Holmberg]

We love our listeners that much. We'll take the misery from you and we'll place it right inside. We'll just bury the pain in your wife. Oh God. You've been in the bathroom quite a while, hon. Yeah, Wes, it's. I'm just full. I gotta be honest.

[Brady Bogen]

You never did that when we were married.

[Toledo]

I just need to Lay down.

[John Holmberg]

You want to go to a movie movie or something? Can I borrow your wheelchair?

[Brett Vesely]

You have an ice pack?

[Toledo]

What do you mean you can't sit down?

[John Holmberg]

What does that mean?

[Toledo]

What's. What do you mean you can't sit down?

[Brady Bogen]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

Wesley, you don't understand. I mean this was. Have you been to Black Dot Com? Cuz I have.

[Toledo]

Oh no. What's on that website?

[Brady Bogen]

Honey, I need to talk to you about some of your searches.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she. He's. Sorry, Wesley. I feel bad. The guy's sitting home listening for the advice and we're like, wesley.

[Toledo]

Wesley's talking to his. Is it his wife or his fiance?

[John Holmberg]

His wife.

[Toledo]

His wife. Every once in a while she gets a text. She looks at her phone, just smiles.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm.

[Toledo]

What was that?

[John Holmberg]

Gotta go. I gotta go. Do I wanna finish watching your errands? Your honor, the new ones out. No, no. I don't want to watch it anymore.

[Toledo]

I'll be back.

[John Holmberg]

I know.

[Brady Bogen]

Wheels on in an hour. Gonna be back.

[John Holmberg]

I know where you're going.

[Toledo]

She comes back. Let me just grab this shoehorn. What do you need the shoehorn.

[John Holmberg]

Are you cooking over at Carol's? What's with all the butter?

[Brady Bogen]

We're cooking the butter and the drill.

[John Holmberg]

What? We're making very hardware based cookies.

[Toledo]

Mixing.

[John Holmberg]

I know what you're doing. That's every day she leaves the house. Wes is gonna say that you're not going to Carol's. I know where you're going.

[Toledo]

What a horrible predicament.

[John Holmberg]

Have you been eating Little Debbie's? There's cream stuff all over.

[Toledo]

Look.

[John Holmberg]

Cream. Yes. I was cream pied. Oh, okay. That sounds delicious. Yes. Okay. Good night. Good night, Wesley. It's four in the afternoon. Good night, Wesley. I know where you've been.

[Brady Bogen]

Your nose is bleeding.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. Has it still got blood on it?

[Toledo]

It should be that door sound. Over and over and over again.

[John Holmberg]

It's six in the morning. Where are you going? I know where you're going.

[Brady Bogen]

Miserable baby.

[Toledo]

Brett's right.

[John Holmberg]

See? Someone spilled milk in the toilet again.

[Toledo]

I know what you're doing.

[John Holmberg]

I can't take it.

[Toledo]

That's a lifelong thing. If you're not gonna fix it on your own, that is a lifelong thing. And that's.

[John Holmberg]

This sound is gonna break your heart every time.

[Toledo]

Over and over and over.

[John Holmberg]

Wes, can I borrow 20 bucks for valet? I've gotta go park in an apartment. I know where. Yeah, here's my. Where you're going. Goodbye. Everybody gets to watch your honor uninterrupted. Which Is a good show.

[Brady Bogen]

Don't forget your birth control.

[John Holmberg]

My God. Yeah, it's pretty.

[Toledo]

Or Wesley.

[John Holmberg]

A hanger, Towels, butter. I. I know what you're going to do.

[Toledo]

Wesley is really looking for advice. He's just sitting next to his radio like puss and boots. Tears just welling up.

[John Holmberg]

Wesley, you just have to accept your role. And I think, Craig, you had the best advice. Just get that fixed.

[Brady Bogen]

Get it fixed.

[Toledo]

Figure out how to get it fixed.

[John Holmberg]

And then also the other word that comes up a lot in these situations is just acceptance. This is your situation. Make the most of it by recognizing you can't go any further than this. They'll get great at the oral thing.

[Toledo]

Be the greatest oral guy that ever lived.

[Brady Bogen]

Tough to carry. You want to please them, but you should do that.

[John Holmberg]

And if she's not pleased by it, just that. Try harder. Then hang yourself.

[Toledo]

But don't.

[John Holmberg]

Don't take Brett's advice until at least December. You got to put in a good 10 months. 10 months of like you really burying it down there.

[Toledo]

If there's a story of a mass shooting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, no, look, he's gonna. This guy's shooting blanks. There's nothing about this guy shooting that. I scared us.

[Brady Bogen]

I can't even do that.

[John Holmberg]

I ain't afraid of anything. Wesley shooting, it's like it. Yeah. It just looked like his gun's throwing up a little bit.

[Toledo]

Holberg for three.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. From downtown. There you go. That is what Brady did. It's 98. It's out of control.

[Toledo]

Now 98 can use CUPD.

[Brett Vesely]

The NBA season is in full swing. New fanduel customers get started with 150 in bonus bets. If your first five dollar bet wins, just visit FanDuel.com KUPD for your shot at 150 in bonus bets. Make every moment more with fanduel, an official sports betting partner of the NBA. 21 plus and present in Arizona. First online real money wager only five dollar first deposit required. Bonus issues is non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt restrictions apply. See turn to sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step. 3342.

[John Holmberg]

They went fast, Craig. You make the DE go faster.

[Toledo]

That's fun.

[John Holmberg]

No. I don't know. Faster. I think it just goes faster. There's no Eric. All right, we've talked about it. Here we go. Not here to rehash the past.

[Toledo]

You got a new guy here. Talks about.

[John Holmberg]

Talks about broad this broad this. Broad.

[Toledo]

Broad. Tell you about this broad.

[John Holmberg]

I seen it. That's my favorite bread ism. I seen this guy. He's taking his sweetness. Broad. She must have done something terrible. It's like not protecting the broad.

[Toledo]

Like, what's an example of a story where his response would be, I seen it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez. Like surprising. Like, if I said, there's a guy in the parking lot, thrown up. I've seen it.

[Toledo]

I see.

[John Holmberg]

Like he just attacks you with it. I seen it.

[Brady Bogen]

You'd be aggressive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

Enemy. If you said, man, I love rap. Ragu.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, he's very Sopranos Goddamn mind. You don't talk about murders or anything. Even if he's not involved, he's like, allegedly, like, everything is maybe. Yeah. You don't rat. That's amazing. We've learned a lot about Brett. It's all been good.

[Toledo]

A lot of secrets, probably, but old school family secrets.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. We don't talk about.

[Toledo]

What's your point?

[Brady Bogen]

You writing a book.

[Toledo]

By the way, speaking of secrets, it's okay for me to reveal a big.

[John Holmberg]

Secret you already did. About Greg Wilson. So go ahead, what is it?

[Toledo]

I guess we could do it now, right?

[John Holmberg]

If you wanna.

[Toledo]

All right. I am going to be the new afternoon drive guy here at kupd.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Toledo]

I think we talked about it a few years ago and I haven't gotten a follow up.

[John Holmberg]

I think you were talking about being here with Fitz for a while.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I'm gonna be the new.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Fitz is still here. And evidently didn't work out to put you on his show.

[Toledo]

It was three years ago when.

[Brett Vesely]

Still thinking about it.

[Toledo]

No. Trip said he's going to call me.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, still hasn't called you. The whole idea was to give a Fitz. Have a Fitz would have a partner.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And then everybody said nah. And then.

[Toledo]

Well, I haven't heard that.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Toledo]

The last I heard. And that's why I'm announcing it now. Last I heard. Call you. Tripp's gonna call me. So it's been about three years, so. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So your new coworker.

[Toledo]

I am the new. I. I don't know how soon we're going to start again. It's been three years since the last call, but we left it on. I will call you back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

You know what? Good that you held that secret.

[John Holmberg]

Will you hang on to that? I think he's got your number, so you hang on to that.

[Toledo]

All right. Yeah. Number's still the same.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I will make that go.

[Toledo]

So.

[John Holmberg]

And I can't wait to see.

[Toledo]

Excited to see how this turns out.

[John Holmberg]

And if we do, we have to reassess our office weirdo policy. Oh, no. What's this?

[Toledo]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, your light gloves are here, Brady.

[Brady Bogen]

For your.

[Brett Vesely]

Throw those things on quick.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's birthday was last week, and we play Brady Gras, where if he gets five questions right, we buy him what's on the Home Shopping Network.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And he won a pair of light gloves, which are gloves that light up in the dark, that have flashlights for fingers.

[Brett Vesely]

He's gonna be raving this weekend.

[Toledo]

Now, what do you use these kind of gloves for?

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're not real bright, but evidently maneuvering through that lady's giant bush and that. What would Brady do?

[Toledo]

Email bright. I remember the first time I went to Brady's place, he took out a black light, I think it was, and showed me a scorpion. Crazy collection of baby scorpions.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It wasn't a collection, I hope.

[Toledo]

No. Well, it was just. Just.

[John Holmberg]

It's on the wall, right?

[Toledo]

Yeah. Outside.

[John Holmberg]

It wouldn't surprise me if Brady is collecting them.

[Toledo]

Wow. This is kind of like a finger glove.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, look at that.

[Toledo]

Fingers.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're like the emperor from.

[Toledo]

Oh, this is. It's the Avengers.

[Brady Bogen]

They are, but not real bright.

[Brett Vesely]

Was there, like, different levels of brightness? What are you doing?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, don't be a dick. Happy birthday. Let's not assess your prize right now.

[Toledo]

Happy birthday.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you.

[Brady Bogen]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

We've already got barbecue sauce on him. How'd you do that? How did. He's had them for a minute.

[Toledo]

Oh, there they are.

[Brady Bogen]

There's one. Oh, they're both. They're in there.

[John Holmberg]

We'll get them at night. It'll work better without so much light. It's time now for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by my [e-mail] the whole of tactical black self defense. You should come with me today, Craig, and do some fighting out there. Get out to the self defense.

[Toledo]

Scares me that, you know.

[John Holmberg]

It'd be great fun. We'll head on out there and we'll do that. They've got a women's self defense course coming up. April 21, as far as I know as a Friday. And I haven't spoken to them since. That was close to selling out. It might be sold out now. 99 bucks for anybody who wants to do that. And it's three hours. You'll come out a different human being and then they've got theirs. You will. Oh, my God. It's crazy. You got to see this. These ladies go in there and they're like, all right, what do we do? And they train them for an hour, then they put them in scenarios and these women turn into monsters, just fighting machines. And it's just their confidence level boosts and just, just the basics. It's a crash course in what they get every day. If they went to react defense on a regular basis. And then they've got their gun safety course coming up April 28th. Check it all out at their website, reactdefense.com all the details there, get your CCW stuff, all the paperwork, licensing and all that comes from the safety course. And they can help you get to the, the end line there, which is awesome. Not to mention the great workouts and all the stuff you learn once you start heading there all the time. Just like I'm going to do later today. Check it out. Reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Brady Bogen]

Disgraced former British glam rocker Gary Glitter was released from prison on Friday. Last Friday. Well, it's know that serving half of his 16 year sentence for pedophilia. This one was for sexual offenses involving three teenage girls.

[John Holmberg]

You know pedophilia? I learned this, I'm this many years old when I learned this is a, it has to be like under the age of six.

[Toledo]

Okay. So he was everything else.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is underage, sexual, blah blah, blah, whatever. Assault or rape or whatever. So yeah, so he's with teenagers. So it's not pedophilia.

[Toledo]

Interesting. I didn't know that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I didn't.

[Toledo]

I had always thought it was pedophilia like that underage, underage.

[John Holmberg]

So did I.

[Toledo]

You like, I thought, I thought children. Yeah. So it was, it was.

[John Holmberg]

I think I'm right. I may be wrong on the number, but I think it's like age six or younger.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

It might be even older. But pedophile. Yeah, pedophiles are very young kids. And then once you get to a certain level, you're a, you're a child molester.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Sexual assault comes with all those charges.

[Brady Bogen]

Gary Glitter, he was arrested in October of 2012 as part of Operation Ted Nugent. You tree.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogen]

Which was a national investigation launched in the wake of the child abuse scandal surrounding a late BBC entertainer, Jimmy Seville.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that dude.

[Toledo]

And for those who don't know, that was like the Mr. Rogers of England. Turned out that he had lots and lots of relationships with children.

[John Holmberg]

Kids.

[Toledo]

And also had files of child porn. Right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you could imagine Mr. Rogers having Johnny Carson's audience.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Because he was that big. He was huge.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And he had open doors everywhere. 34. He was friends with Prince Charles. Like, he'd hang out with the. With the Roy. Not that they're, you know, on the up and up, but.

[Brady Bogen]

I didn't know this about glitter. He spent two months in a British jail for possession of child pornography in 1999. He also was sent to prison in Vietnam in 2006, during his time in the country from molesting two girls ages 11 and 12.

[John Holmberg]

Still a cool song.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you want to touch it too? It's real appropriate for him.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know. Do you want to touch with Gary Cliff.

[Toledo]

I always associate this with Joe Chad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, so did I. That was his song. She just took it. I'm learning that right now, too.

[Brett Vesely]

All the stuff we're learning today.

[John Holmberg]

So it says here, pedophile is prepubescent. Yes. So that's just. Yeah. And then there's hebophile attracted to pubescent kids and an ephebophile, which is an individual attracted to post pubescent.

[Brady Bogen]

So he's a heap of technology.

[John Holmberg]

He's a. He would be a hebo file. Yeah. I had no idea this was Gary Blair.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I thought Joan Jackson covered it. What hits did she have on her own? She gets so much credit for being a pioneer that girls covered everything.

[Brett Vesely]

Crimson and Clover was a cover.

[John Holmberg]

All of it was. Was a cover.

[Brady Bogen]

I love rock and roll. Was that hers?

[Toledo]

That was Weird Al Yankovic.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Wow. Well, there you go. You know what else I learned this week? And that what Luke Air Force Base was named after was. I forget the guy's first name, but he was a World War I balloon killer. He had 10 balloon pops.

[Brett Vesely]

We needed him this week.

[John Holmberg]

I know. So that's why the code for shooting the balloo down was. The. The. The code names for the planes were Luke 1, Luke 2, or something like that, because they named him after this guy who we named the Air Force base after. He had 10 confirmed balloon drops in the war over, you know, dropping German balloons. Isn't that cool?

[Brady Bogen]

Arnold Schwarzenegger crashed into a woman riding a bike yesterday, but it wasn't his fault. She's gonna be okay. Arnold even took her bike to the local shop to get it fixed.

[John Holmberg]

That's nice.

[Brady Bogen]

She wasn't going that fast, but I.

[John Holmberg]

Ran over the woman. I didn't know what she was doing, but just like my shoulders, the car took up too much room in the road. Did she get in the way? Yeah. You know Broads. This broad, she rides a bike like a crazy person. Come on. Like everybody knew where the Chinese balloon was going. You were all over the map. Where you going?

[Toledo]

I. I'm going to hear you.

[John Holmberg]

Like.

[Toledo]

Arnold Schwarzenegger with a dry head.

[John Holmberg]

Arnold Schwarzenegger dry. He's. You can send me the fish video.

[Toledo]

I'm with Wesley's wife.

[John Holmberg]

Give me something. Get to tell you something. Why don't you shave that thing? Hello. Come on. You can smell it in the other room. Craig, I got to tell you, I got a competition coming up. The only way to get in shape for is to be bulimic.

[Toledo]

I have to make weight for the fight.

[John Holmberg]

Arnold Schwarzenegger is dry.

[Toledo]

Eve.

[John Holmberg]

Look out. Earth Smith's terrible in here.

[Toledo]

This is going to be a staple of the new KUPT afternoon show.

[John Holmberg]

Let's checking with Arnold. He's in the bathroom. What's going on? Arnold? How are you? Isn't that good? Don't do it. You doing it makes me want to do it.

[Toledo]

Is that your dog?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Now you make me sick again. Every time you do it. I'm doing it. Passion. Like it. We're adults. We're adult men. We're adult human beings. Doing that.

[Toledo]

Hey, look, it's Wesley's wife.

[John Holmberg]

Once you become a real man, Wesley. And get up out of your chair and do it with your wife before she goes out and finds a good man like me. Except for I can look at her. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Five Finger Death Punch. You desist this loop.

[John Holmberg]

That's off the air. Their conversations. But to recap, we do Five Finger Death Punch. Uses vomit. Is lube. We have it confirmed. Yeah.

[Toledo]

From a local girl.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Or some dummy in Texas.

[John Holmberg]

Man. Yeah. No, he doesn't know. I bet you that wasn't part of the wedding story. I bet you that somebody didn't stand up at the wedding and said like to give a toast. I remember the time I used lube. You puke is lube to have sex with you. But now you're getting married to a decent human being.

[Toledo]

You're getting married to an angel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Don't ask about her, pal. The impression is getting worse.

[John Holmberg]

Much worse. Well, it's sicker much time. I don't. I don't feel good. Cohen, get me a bucket.

[Toledo]

It's coming out to both ends.

[John Holmberg]

I think it was food poisoning. Is an hour of fun for me. Here we go. Get out of the crosswalk. And then the hurry. Why is it so funny to me? Driving on the road? It's the greatest position of all time.

[Toledo]

Technically, I'm a heebie.

[John Holmberg]

GB Fire. Make it stop. Ready? Move on. Do something new or we'll Never end it.

[Brady Bogen]

Disturb 36 Date to take back your life tour. And it'll be here at the. Where is it?

[John Holmberg]

They're in July, aren't they?

[Brady Bogen]

Didn't we already announce July 22nd at the pavilion?

[John Holmberg]

He announced Dave was on with us. Draymond mentioned that.

[Toledo]

I remember the day you see Draymond's post yesterday. He said, I share everything in my life, so it's important that I share. My wife and I are getting divorced.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Draymond's done.

[Toledo]

Draymond and Lena, look out, ladies from.

[John Holmberg]

The east, west, the best store ever. What was that? I was at backstage at the Disturbed show. We're all kind of hanging around the VIP section, and these girls go wandering off onto the Disturbed bus. They come out dizzy, like Wesley's wife. They come out wandering around all dizzy. And Draiman comes out a few seconds later and just looks. Just surveys the room and just points at one girl and points at another. And they get up out of their chairs like they're under a hypnotic thing and just start walking towards the bus. He hadn't been done with the last two for more than 10 minutes. For you, you, you. And he brings him back and they go in the bus 20 minutes later, one comes out in a bikini top and jean shorts. She's wandering around.

[Brady Bogen]

Must kill Nordberg.

[John Holmberg]

It was insane.

[Toledo]

Wow, what a great.

[John Holmberg]

And I told him that story years ago. And he's like, well, my wife's in the room, like, oh, you can't talk about that at all.

[Brady Bogen]

It didn't happen.

[John Holmberg]

She was evidently the one running the phoners for the radio station, so she's on the other line listening to that whole thing. Oh, well, my wife lives listening to that story. I'm like, oh, well, tell her. I said, hey. So hopefully I had nothing to do with that.

[Toledo]

He said it in front of his wife once when we were having lunch. He said, you remember the old days when I used to be the hunter?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's a great.

[Toledo]

And I was like. And I looked at his wife and I went.

[John Holmberg]

I mean.

[Toledo]

And I was the one getting uncomfortable. Like, I mean, I guess. I don't know. Are you okay with this?

[John Holmberg]

You marry the lead singer of Disturbed?

[Toledo]

Yeah, they had a great relationship. That kind. That bums me out. They seem to have a good thing going. You know, we went to a Rick Springfield show together in Honolulu.

[John Holmberg]

That would be fun.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Is he. I said, you want to go to Rick's? He goes, my wife loves Rick. Hold on, honey. Would you like. Yeah.

[Brady Bogen]

And that was it. That's what did it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We're getting divorced, and she's going to marry Rick Springfield. Nice job.

[Toledo]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

It's the way it works.

[Toledo]

Is that great when you accidentally ask for not realizing their significance? Other.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, I. And I was like, well, how am I supposed to know? We're on the phone.

[Toledo]

That's my Mark Gray story.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right.

[Toledo]

I was backstage at a concert, and a friend of mine told me all these crazy stories about when Mark was single. That. And this was an old roommate of Mark Grace's.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Toledo]

Who told me a series.

[John Holmberg]

You stole stuff from that house?

[Toledo]

Yeah, his roommate gave me his stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Not according to Mark Grace.

[Toledo]

His roommate.

[John Holmberg]

What'd you jack? A jersey.

[Toledo]

Everything, you know. You know who it was? It was Dan Falado. You know, Dan Filato. He used to produce the. The Steve Doll Show.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Okay. And I'm talking about.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Toledo]

I'm talking about the Cubs on the air and off the air, he goes, are you really a Cubs fan? Are you just trying to kiss our ass because you're in Chicago? I go, no, I love the Cubs. And he goes, you know who my roommate is? Mark Grace. Why don't you come by the house? I'll get you some stuff. And I was like, all right, cool. I go to his house a few days later, and he goes, oh, hey, so come on upstairs. Let me take you to Mark's room. And we go into Mark's. Grace's bedroom. He opens up his closet and goes, mark's on the road. He probably won't miss any of this.

[John Holmberg]

I just started taking things.

[Toledo]

Jerseys, smoking glove. I got the Gold Glove jacket. What? I have his Blackhawks jersey.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Didn't we try to return it to him?

[Toledo]

Well, you outed me about it.

[John Holmberg]

How did you.

[Toledo]

You're telling the story, but you called him out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we told him we knew where his stuff was. That's a good human being.

[Toledo]

But it wasn't me. Like, I didn't go into his house to take it. His roommate said, take Mark won't misses and gave me some of his Chicago Cubs travel.

[John Holmberg]

Now, you just said the phrase, I didn't go into his house and take it.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Not a lawyer. He left with it. Did you go into his house?

[Toledo]

I was invited into his house. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Did you go into his house?

[Toledo]

I was invited.

[John Holmberg]

And you want his domicile Yep.

[Toledo]

I was invited. Didn't break in.

[John Holmberg]

When you left the house, did you leave with his belongings?

[Toledo]

I was handed his belongings as gifts.

[John Holmberg]

Did you, as an individual holding items that did not belong to you, leave the door that was gifted to me?

[Toledo]

Yes, your honor.

[John Holmberg]

So you entered the house and you left with his things. Left with.

[Toledo]

This is how super bowl week is going to go for me. Trying to get you into some parties. You have to play along.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't want to be an accomplice to these horrible crimes.

[Toledo]

Yes, I left with items that belonged to Mark Grace that I was gifted.

[John Holmberg]

And do you remember going into his bedroom and Arnold was there going, what does it smell? Grace, Not Grace. Having sex with everybody. Grab that cub's towel. You can clean up.

[Brady Bogen]

Going to Cub soap.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to shove this Silver Slugger award in this lady anyway. Gross. Well, we'll talk. We'll see.

[Brady Bogen]

Mark, this week, Gracie wants his steak knives back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's all he cares about. We're done. Larry McFeely's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a great. What?

[Toledo]

The material. I'm doing all new material.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Toledo]

This week, Wednesday and Thursday, all new material out in Gilbert.

[John Holmberg]

What was wrong with the old stuff?

[Toledo]

I just been working on a lot of new stuff that I'm really proud.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you what's wrong with the old stuff. Clinton's not president anymore.

[Brady Bogen]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

God damn. What a day. Come on. That was funny.

[Toledo]

JP's Comedy Club in Gilbert on Wednesday night. Stir Crazy in Glendale on Thursday night. All the Tickets [e-mail]. get gas with two S's.com.

[John Holmberg]

There'S a different Craig I was making fun of.

[Toledo]

Which Craig Shoemaker. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby.

[Toledo]

Yeah, baby.

[John Holmberg]

You know, baby, I'm the love master.

[Toledo]

I'm the love master. You and I do contemporary Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right. Larry's next. You guys have a great Monday. We'll see you. Cutting Edge Morning 6. It's 90 Ak Old Comics Comedy. It's out of control Now. You've been listening to Holmberg's Morning Sickness Podcast, brought to you by our friends at Eric's Family Barbecue in Avondale. Meat mesquite. Repeat ericsfamilybbq.com.