02-14-25 - Pete Lee - Desert Ridge Improv - In Studio

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: Pete Lee at Desert Ridge Improv - In Studio Release Date: February 14, 2025

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Introduction

In this heartfelt and humorous episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg welcomes comedian Pete Lee to the Desert Ridge Improv studio. Accompanied by co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, the show delves into Pete's tumultuous journey over the past year, marked by personal loss, resilience, and the unyielding pursuit of comedy amidst adversity.

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Pete Lee's Absence and Return

Pete Lee begins by expressing his gratitude for being back on the show after a significant hiatus. His return coincides with Valentine's Day, adding a layer of irony given his current single status and commitment to abstinence.

Pete Lee [01:26]: "It's Valentine's Day and I'm back. I moved back. And yeah, I gotta say, I'm a single guy now and I've been practicing abstinence."

Holmberg and the co-hosts humorously probe Pete about his newfound abstinence, teasing him about resisting the advances from the attractive patrons frequenting his comedy venues.

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Personal Struggles and House Fire

The conversation takes a poignant turn as Pete shares the harrowing experience of losing his house to a devastating fire. Living in La Ocean before relocating to Arizona, Pete's life spiraled when he moved back to heal from a failed relationship. However, fate had other plans when his home succumbed to flames, a tragedy that not only destroyed his possessions but also left him grappling with emotional turmoil.

Pete Lee [04:04]: "I moved back to that ocean neighborhood... two months later, my house burned down."

Pete recounts the chaotic moments leading up to the fire, including his Tesla's alarming temperature readings that ultimately served as an unintended alarm system.

Pete Lee [07:06]: "The Tesla was like, I'm 72 degrees. And I was like, oh, wow. So my house must not be on fire... Then it went to 310 degrees."

The loss was not just material; Pete touches on the profound emotional impact, highlighting how the absence of his belongings forced him to confront vulnerability in ways he hadn't anticipated.

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Interaction with Dave Chappelle

Amidst the devastation, Pete finds solace in comedy, performing at the Comedy Cellar in New York City. It was here that he had an unexpected and inspiring encounter with legendary comedian Dave Chappelle. Sharing a space where both comedians were preparing material, Pete leveraged the situation to craft jokes about his personal loss, which not only resonated with Chappelle but also elevated his own comedic narrative.

Pete Lee [17:01]: "I went up and, like, imagine, like, you just told Dave Chappelle a joke, and he's like, that's great. Use it."

Chappelle's encouragement propelled Pete to integrate his real-life struggles into his performances, turning pain into humor and earning genuine laughs from his peers and audience alike.

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Comedy Career Amidst Adversity

Despite the series of unfortunate events, Pete's commitment to comedy remains steadfast. He discusses the challenges of rebuilding his life from scratch, including the logistical nightmares of relocating to New York City with limited possessions and the emotional strain of starting anew.

Pete Lee [10:40]: "When I go to a comedy club, I look like a busboy that just forgot my name tag. That's how much black clothing I have."

Pete's ability to find humor in his darkest moments not only endears him to his audience but also serves as a coping mechanism, allowing him to process his grief and maintain his passion for performing.

The show also touches upon the broader impact of the fire on his community, highlighting the vulnerabilities of relying on products like fire safes and the tragic loss of belongings that often carry deep personal significance.

Pete Lee [07:36]: "But we all bought them on Amazon. And I think on Amazon, fire safes are made out of, like, Styrofoam and then a layer. A core layer of gasoline."

Through these anecdotes, Pete underscores the often-overlooked fragility of material possessions and the unforeseen consequences of everyday choices.

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Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, Pete Lee reflects on his journey of loss and recovery, emphasizing the importance of community support and the healing power of laughter. Holmberg and the co-hosts commend Pete's resilience, celebrating his return to the comedic stage and his unwavering spirit despite facing significant personal challenges.

Holmberg [31:56]: "Please buy tickets. And I have a feeling this is like... You're just..."

The episode closes on a hopeful note, with Pete expressing gratitude for the support he's received and looking forward to future performances at Desert Ridge Improv.

Pete Lee [31:34]: "Hey, how's that working out for you?... When I leave places, they burn down. So have fun. You guys."

Listeners are left with a profound appreciation for Pete Lee's strength and the universal message that even in the face of unimaginable loss, the human spirit can find light through humor and connection.

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Notable Quotes

• Pete Lee [01:26]: "It's Valentine's Day and I'm back. I moved back... practicing abstinence."
• Pete Lee [04:04]: "Two months later, my house burned down."
• Pete Lee [07:06]: "The Tesla was like, I'm 72 degrees... Then it went to 310 degrees."
• Pete Lee [17:01]: "Imagine, you just told Dave Chappelle a joke... Use it."
• Pete Lee [10:40]: "I look like a busboy that just forgot my name tag."
• Pete Lee [07:36]: "Fire safes are made out of Styrofoam and a core layer of gasoline."
• Holmberg [31:56]: "Please buy tickets."
• Pete Lee [31:34]: "When I leave places, they burn down. So have fun."

---

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends humor with heartfelt storytelling, offering listeners a glimpse into Pete Lee's extraordinary resilience and the transformative power of comedy in overcoming personal tragedy.

Transcript

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[Unknown Host]

Thanks for joining us, Pete. Appreciate it. We'll see you next time. Pete Lee's here, everybody. My God. How are you?

[Pete Lee]

I'm doing good. I have nothing to talk about.

[Unknown Host]

That's right, you're not allowed to talk about much of anything.

[Pete Lee]

Can't talk about anything. And, and I'm happy. You know what? So, yeah, let me promote you first.

[Unknown Host]

Let me get you where you're at so you, when you do talk freely, people will remember the name. Pete. Desert Ridge Improv tonight and Tomorrow and Sunday, desertridgeimprov.com now, just to reset for everybody, you were doing Wednesday shows once a month here. Bring your drama down to Pete. You have the audience shout out their problems and you would like, joke about it.

[Pete Lee]

And.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, the irony.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. Oh, the irony. Which, yeah, because my, I, I lived here for a long time for a year, and, and yeah, I don't have any drama. I want to say that.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, no, you're no drama.

[Pete Lee]

And it's Valentine's Day and I'm back. I, I, I moved back. And yeah. And I gotta say, I'm a single guy now and I've been practicing abstinence.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, good on you.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. Dude, Every night, every night a new hot girl comes over to me and is like, do you want this? And I'm like, you know, I want abstinence. And it feels. No, it's so good. It feels so good.

[Unknown Host]

Well, that's good. You know, it's a cleansing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're married, so you probably got used to abstinence being what love felt like. So why, why wreck that?

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, I mean, I know that that's the, the stereotype of marriage, but that's actually what I'm like now.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. Which is cool because you got rid of the marriage part was just probably too much sex, and that's why it all didn't work out.

[Pete Lee]

It Was too good. Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

And now you have to take a break from all that.

[Pete Lee]

Yes. And I, you know, I just. I. Yeah. I go home after the shows and I pray.

[Unknown Host]

Pete. That's nice. So any ladies that are especially great looking tonight, go ahead, try and tempt Pete. Yeah. It's a mountain you can't climb.

[Pete Lee]

It's a work.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. Good luck.

[Pete Lee]

Do that. That. Because that mountain is Mount Zion. And Satan does not have a hold of my heart. I will not.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. So give it a run. Try. Do you think you're beautiful? Give it a run, petal. Peter will make you feel less than beautiful if you even try tonight. So I'm saying, yeah, go ahead, approach him. It's not happening.

[Pete Lee]

Especially if you're one of those gals from Scottsdale.

[Unknown Host]

That's right.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. From.

[Unknown Host]

With recently augmented chest.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

I'll bet you $100 that you can't make Pete ejaculate. I'll bet you $100 you can't do it. None of you. The whole city is incapable.

[Pete Lee]

No, you can't do it. No, you can't do it.

[Unknown Host]

I actually won that bet with a girl once, really jokingly said that you 100 bucks that you cannot make me.

[Pete Lee]

Oh, I can.

[Unknown Host]

And I was wrong. And then the best part is you'd pay them at the end, and I feel terrible about the entire event.

[Pete Lee]

And then she puts you in handcuffs. You're like, wait. Damn. Supposed to happen before.

[Unknown Host]

Hold on, I didn't know you.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. By the way, we handled that really well.

[Unknown Host]

We did. Wasn't that nice?

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

You're taking the high road.

[Pete Lee]

I'm taking the high road. Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

So I'm happy to be.

[Pete Lee]

I'm happy to be back, you know.

[Unknown Host]

You haven't been here since, like, October.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

When did all this unfold?

[Pete Lee]

It was this fall. Okay. You know it. The thing that stinks is I really love this area.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, well, you didn't have to leave.

[Pete Lee]

I didn't have to leave.

[Unknown Host]

You chose to leave.

[Pete Lee]

I chose to leave. It was. I don't know, I like. You gotta.

[Unknown Guest]

You gotta want a change of scene.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. Well, before I moved here, I lived on the ocean in la. And this has now become like a national thing, a news story. But I moved back to that ocean neighborhood.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

And then, like, it was like two months later, my house burned down.

[Unknown Host]

It's crazy.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, it was crazy. So I went through.

[Unknown Host]

That's how I found out you moved, by the way.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Because I had. We hadn't talked to you since the last time you were here. It was probably October, I guess. I don't know, maybe before that a little bit.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

And then. And then the video that everybody. 60 million people or something like that have looked at your Instagram video of you, and it was very touching. On top of being heart wrenching for you, you said some very incredibly nice things about what was going on.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. And I. Yeah, I just. Jimmy asked me to explain what happened and, you know, I was like, yeah, I lived in this neighborhood for five years. I moved away to the desert for a relationship that didn't work out right. And then I moved back to this neighborhood just to heal, you know, like. And I don't know if you've ever again. I won't. I won't talk about her, but I can talk about my own experience.

[Unknown Host]

Sure.

[Pete Lee]

Dude, I was so flat and emotionally, I was like, I don't know if I can come back for divorce. Yeah, yeah, the divorce. So I. So I. I felt. So. I was so low that, like, my friends were calling me, like, every day, going like, dude, are you good? Checking in, checking in. So I moved back to the ocean and I was like, surfing and, like, I was in sunshine and, you know.

[Unknown Host]

You'Re getting Pete back.

[Pete Lee]

Dude, I'm getting Pete back. Yeah, I was having lunch with friends and, you know, abstinence and so much abstinence.

[Unknown Host]

So much wet, dirty abstinence, dude.

[Pete Lee]

Sometimes like, abstinence three times a night. And.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, man, chicks were wiping abstinence off faces and everything.

[Pete Lee]

Oh, my God. Dude, I just had a hat trick of abstinence and. But no, it was. I was getting Pete back, and then all of a sudden, the. I was in New York doing the Tonight show. And so it was the night before I did the Tonight Show. Imagine I'm watching. So I had a Tesla that's now an ashtray. This Tesla let me know that it was burning. So it told you on your phone? Yeah. So the Tesla would message and be like, you know, help Pete. Yeah, I'm. Well, it'd be like, temperature is 72 degrees. I'm 72 degrees, you know?

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

Or the Tesla would be like, my windows are down. Like, yeah, they are, you flirty little tramp. You know, like, yeah, they're. They're down in my house.

[Unknown Host]

I'm topless right now.

[Pete Lee]

Topless. Yeah. And so my Tesla, I was at the Comedy Cellar warming up my jokes for the Tonight show. And then simultaneously, I, like, I just had. I had this feeling that I was going to go on the Tonight show and have to do jokes about my house burning down.

[Unknown Host]

Right.

[Pete Lee]

And the. The last camera, so I have this ring camera that looked out at the ocean. Yeah, it was an ocean house.

[Unknown Host]

Brag, but still have ocean front property.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, feel sorry for me.

[Unknown Host]

Just a tent.

[Pete Lee]

But yeah, I can still just go live there with. Amongst the toxic rubble by the sidebar. Do you know how toxic. Just the stuff inside of fridges and ovens? Yeah, like, when that much freon burns and the stuffing of ovens burns. Like, we went there with no PPE just to, like, kick through and try to find our, like, gun safes and stuff. Dude, did you know that if you store your ammo inside of the gun safe, it's no longer a fire safe anymore?

[Unknown Host]

Is that right?

[Pete Lee]

It's a fire inside of the safe. It heats up, the ammo goes. And, dude, I had $10,000 cash, and ammo is just shredded wheat.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown Guest]

Because the stuff's firing off inside there, not breaking out.

[Unknown Host]

Our boss, who had a place in Palisades, he told me the story because I went and looked, and the fire safe, it was just ashes. And then, like, in the ashes were some jewels or some, like, a ring or something like that inside of there. And it's an insane amount of things that burned in the fire safe, dude.

[Pete Lee]

Just the. All the fire safes in the neighborhood burned. And. But we all bought them on Amazon. And I think on Amazon, fire safes are made out of, like, Styrofoam and then a layer. A core layer of gasoline. Dude, if you buy a fire safe from Amazon that says like, like, and.

[Unknown Guest]

For two minutes, ye.

[Pete Lee]

Dude, this wa. It was this water bottle. It was just a water. A plastic water bottle. And yeah, I. But. But anyway, so the. The Tesla was like, I'm 72 degrees. And I was like, oh, wow. So my house must not be on fire because the Tesla's 72 degrees.

[Unknown Host]

Right.

[Pete Lee]

Sounds perfect. I get off stage, and then I come back and the Tesla goes, I'm 150 degrees. And I was like, it's about to go down. Yeah. Then the Tesla was like, I'm 310. And I was like, this is not good.

[Unknown Host]

It's still Registering temperature at 310. Pretty impressive, actually.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Does it have a button says, get the hell out of there?

[Pete Lee]

Well, it does. It does have a fire sensor. And it texted me, I'm on fire. So I was like. I was like, yeah, you are, you saucy little minx. Like, yeah, you're on fire.

[Unknown Host]

Kept it hot.

[Pete Lee]

You're killing it. And yeah. Then I knew my. I knew the house was on fire.

[Unknown Host]

What was the last temperature it gave you before it was gone?

[Pete Lee]

Three. Yeah, it was 310, I think. And then it went to just on fire.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Lee]

But, yeah, the firefighters called.

[Unknown Host]

Sad. That's pathetically sad. I wouldn't want any of my possessions to warn me that they're burning and they camp.

[Pete Lee]

Dude, it was so sad. And I loved this car, but the batteries in a Tesla burned forever. And so, you know, it's a really good car for the environment. 13,000 Teslas burned in this neighborhood, and so the whole place is just radioactive. The firefighters called my Tesla the Menorah because it burned for eight days. So terrible, by the way. Speaking of.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Lee]

Like, that kind of stuff. What a great.

[Unknown Host]

Hold on. Time out. You're going through some stuff. I don't like seeing Menorah and Kanye. Just gonna show up in a second.

[Pete Lee]

Speaking of Jews, dude, there's never been a better time to not own a Tesla than after Elon did that with his arm.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, it's so true, dude.

[Pete Lee]

When my Tesla was burning, it was like, a few days before that, and I was like, just, no. And then he did that salute, and I was like, hey, you know, things happen.

[Unknown Host]

I'm getting a Honda.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, stuff happens.

[Unknown Host]

That's enough.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. Wow.

[Unknown Host]

Your world, in the last four or five months, has just running. And here you are smiling, doing comedy shows.

[Pete Lee]

Where are you living now? Now I live in New York City. Okay.

[Unknown Host]

That's a drastic move.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. Well, when you. When your house burns down and you have nothing. Yeah, it's the easiest move to New York City. Normally, you have to. You have to take a moving truck into the city and, like, have people schlep stuff. Dude, I had four bags of luggage, and because I'd been on the road for almost a month, and so I had, like, ski stuff because I'd gone skiing. So, like, I had all my winter stuff. I had my suit for New Year's because I was doing a New Year's show. So I had, like, my nice suit with my nice shoes. I had, like, my favorite black clothing.

[Unknown Host]

That I wear every day. You wear a lot of black clothes. It's perfect.

[Pete Lee]

Dude, I. When I go to a comedy club, I look like a busboy that just forgot my name tag. That's how much black clothing I have. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[Unknown Host]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Pete Lee]

Like, I made a joke the other night that because I was just wearing a Black T shirt and black pants. I go. I go. I look like the only un inked tattoo artist. It's just like.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, I. I don't believe in tattoos for myself.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. I have strict parents, but I love my art.

[Unknown Host]

I like to do it on you. But not for me.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, not for me.

[Unknown Host]

The what? In your house, like, do you. Can. Can you not think about quite yet that you lost?

[Pete Lee]

Okay. I had one thing. So I cried. By the way, when all this happens to you, you just start. You cry every once in a while.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

You know Bert Kreischer?

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

He's one of my best friends, and he's been calling me during this. And, like, Bert will just cry in a podcast. He'll cry on stage. I've cried on stage a couple times. And like, Burt cried. And like, I talked to him, and it's like, he's a masculine guy.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

And so anyway, Tony Hawk, I'll show you a picture of it. So Tony Hawk, my friend Tony Hawk, listening to you, he found out that I had a. Like, a rare Metallica skateboard that burned in the fire. And so Tony Hawk surprised me on stage at the Comedy Store, and he gave me his one copy.

[Unknown Host]

Get out. Same one?

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, same one. Yeah, same one. And then he. That night, all the bones brigade were there.

[Unknown Host]

Nice.

[Pete Lee]

And so he had all the bones brigade guys, you know, like my heroes growing up.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

This would be like if you were.

[Unknown Host]

Like a pro skateboarder.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this would be like, if Michael Jordan showed up. And you're like, my. My rare Jordan's burned. He's like, you can have that.

[Unknown Host]

Ridiculous. Yeah. Because he's the greatest of all time.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. Which Michael Jordan wouldn't just give him to you. Be like, I'll bet you for him.

[Unknown Host]

And then you walk away with him with, oh, just wait.

[Unknown Guest]

You're gonna owe him something.

[Unknown Host]

Those kind of things people don't think about. And I always. I said that when, like, people are always like, ah, they're people with oceanfront property. They're rich. Who cares? And I'm like, no, no, no. In your house, you don't have to be. It doesn't have to be the most expensive thing in there. It doesn't have to be a rich person's item. Everything in your house has a story of why it's there.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

And so you forget that every single piece of furniture is a word and a sentence in a chapter in a story.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. And it's also just weird to have nothing, you know, like. You know, like, that. Yeah, my manager lived right up the hill. And I was like, hey, man, are you still coming to this nice show? And he goes. I call him. He's one of the strongest people I know. He goes, I don't. I don't. He was in shock. He goes, I don't have clothes. He goes, I can't go to the Tonight show because I don't have clothes. And he. I was like, he's one of the strongest, coolest people. And he just was, like, saying it over. He's like, I don't have clothes.

[Unknown Host]

Like, it was hitting him, right?

[Pete Lee]

Because it's. And by the way, every, like. Like, you know when. When the power goes out and you're like, oh, well, you know, like, why don't I just try the TV for a little bit? The power's up, right? Dude, when everything you have that you care about burns, you're like, oh, I should go get those shoes. Ah, they burn. Dang it. Oh, man, I'm gonna make an espresso. My espresso machine burned everything. Yeah, like, you got nothing, dude. You got nothing, dude. I can't delete my Tesla app, you know? Yeah, because it let me know.

[Unknown Host]

It was telling you it was the last bit of communication with that house.

[Pete Lee]

It was the last bit and the. So, by the way, wow, if you want to help out, I'm not doing a GoFundMe, but buy tick to Desert Ridge.

[Unknown Host]

That's right. Desert Ridge Improv tonight. And the good thing is, Pete's. You're touring around doing comedy shows because it's free hotel rooms. Like, this is the smartest thing you could do. I.

[Pete Lee]

Everybody keeps going, well, you got a divorce, and you're back. You're back in the place where you lived when you were married. Why are you there? I'm like, well, I have nowhere to go.

[Unknown Host]

And the rooms are nice. The Desert Ridge, they set you up in a good place.

[Pete Lee]

Oh, this is what I got to tell you. So I moved to a place in New York City because I was already there, and I went to go see a furnished apartment, and there's, like, this clickety clackety, like, Keller Williams lady that's like, okay, you know, if the HOA approves you. And. And then she's like, by the way, you. You brought your luggage. Are you on the way to your airport? The airport? I go, no. And I was like, looking around this place, I was like, I think I'm home. And she's like, what? And I was like, yeah, I'll take it. I yeah. And she's like, what do you mean? I was like, my house burned down. I was like, here's me on the Tonight Show.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, you had just ready on the phone.

[Pete Lee]

She was like. Because I knew she was, well, we have to verify who you are and have a meeting. And I was like, all right, well, have your meeting.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

And I go and talk to my business manager. I was like. I was like, here he is. I'm like, I have money. I go, I don't have a home, but I go, go talk to. I go. Go talk to Brian, my business manager. And I go, and I'm gonna go sit down on my couch, and I'm gonna cry. And I did, dude. And I cried on this couch. And I was. I was like, I. I'm home right now, and I got $200 off the rent. Dude, if you cry, dude, crying is just a discount button.

[Unknown Host]

You wept openly.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

And she's like, that's worth 200 bucks.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, dude. I came in. She canceled, like, every appointment after that and was just like, okay, so here's the keys.

[Unknown Host]

The emotionally unstable comedian is going to get 3C.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got. Yeah, I got 5F. That's where I live.

[Unknown Host]

I live in 5F.

[Pete Lee]

And, dude, it's amazing, man.

[Unknown Host]

And so that's your home now. That's where you're staying.

[Pete Lee]

Yep.

[Unknown Host]

In this furnished apartment.

[Pete Lee]

Furnished apartment.

[Unknown Host]

Now, do you have. Do you have, like, a PTSD thing about buying stuff now?

[Pete Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Unknown Host]

So, like, you're worried about, like, is there an abandonment thing with now inanimate objects or is it. Has it reset you the other way to go with just stuff?

[Pete Lee]

It. It makes you. It really makes you go, like, it's just stuff.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

And then, like, I've had, like. Like, Like, I've had people. I don't know if you've ever gone through a divorce, and then you have people want to get catty about it and whatever.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Lee]

And. And I'm like, oh, you guys are still on that? Yeah, like, I'm on.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, that's. Who cares about. So it fixed your divorce. Like, your emotions for your divorce went away.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, I'm on Inferno and everything burned down and. And like. Like, I'm on that now.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, that broad's gone. That might as well have been 20 years ago.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, that's. I mean, you go, okay. You know, like, that's like. That's not the. That's not the biggest thing. Like, when the food, shelter, and Clothing. Like, when. When shelter and clothing go away, you're. You're like, all right, I got to figure something out.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

And you know. Yeah. You fixate on that.

[Unknown Host]

It becomes your new focus. And all the other stuff seems petty.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Small. Like, this is not anything anybody hasn't been through. I'm now going through some real crap.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. And I learned about it because my house was on CBS News, and the Tesla told me, and then my house is on CBS News. I'm down at the Cellar, and Dave Chappelle was warming up for snl. And then we're all watching the tv, and he's like, oh. He's like, which one's your house? And I didn't say it was him on the Tonight Show. He goes, which one's your house, Pete? And I go, the orange one. I was like, dude, it's the color of fire. And I told a joke on the Tonight show where I go. I go, my house looks like a Guy Fieri restaurant log. But here's the Dude. I don't know if you've ever made, like, one of your heroes laugh, but I was in the hallway at the Comedy Cellar, and I was. I was talking to Dave, and he had just gone on and done a bunch of like. Like, la Fire jokes to do them on the Tonight show or on the snl.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

And then I. I went up after him, and like, dude, you never go up after Dave Chappelle and do new material.

[Unknown Host]

Right.

[Pete Lee]

But I was just running all my house burn down jokes.

[Unknown Host]

Right.

[Pete Lee]

And I was like, yeah, Dave, my house just burned down. And we shook hands. He's like, I'm so sorry. He's like. He's like, I had to do that material. He's like, I didn't know you were going up after me. I go, no, this is gonna be great. I go, watch my rebuttal. I'm gonna follow you with new stuff. And anyway, so I did all the house burn down jokes. Then we're at the next. Like, the Cellar has all these different rooms, Right. So we're about to be at McDougal street, and I was like, now I'm gonna go up before you and I'm gonna do these jokes. So I followed him, and then I went up before him, and I was in the. And he goes. He goes. By the way, he's like, congratulations about that. You know, tonight's show, 50 million views. And I go, dave, I could be honest with you. I go, for 50 million views, I'd burn my own house down. And that Made him laugh. And he goes, you got to say that on stage. And so I went up and, like, imagine, like, you just told Dave Chappelle a joke, and he's like, that's great. Use it.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

And then, like, four minutes later, I get into the house burn down jokes, and I was. I was like. I would burn my own house down, and I was like. I'd be out there with a hairspray and a blowtorch. Like. Like, subscribe, Comment, Follow for more. And, dude, Dave Chappelle is, like, slapping his knees. And I was like. I was like, all right, so this is worth it. Silver lining.

[Unknown Host]

This is completely. This is completely worth it. Is there anything that's happened since all this that has become, like, that was unexpectedly a stupid, normal, everyday problem for somebody like me who hasn't gone through what you've gone through. Oh, and then you're like, really? I'm worried about this now.

[Pete Lee]

Oh, ye. Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Like, normalcy starts to set back in.

[Pete Lee]

Oh, yeah, dude. Almost. Well, like, worrying about crying.

[Unknown Host]

So you don't worry about weeping, just spontaneously.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. It's weird. Like, at the Comedy Cellar, I've just, like, had moments where I've been at the comics table, and, like, no comic wants to cry at that table. I used to be like Patrice O'Neill's table. And, like, you know, it's Colin Quinn's table. And by the way, one of the reasons why I moved there is because in la, people like, your house burned on. And I'm like, I can't handle. Right.

[Unknown Host]

No. Sad.

[Pete Lee]

I need to be in, like, this environment where it's a bunch of friends.

[Unknown Host]

Just dicking with you.

[Pete Lee]

Oh, yeah. And. But, like. Like, the. The fun stuff at the table is that. But sometimes every once in a while, somebody comes up and they'll be like, oh, how are the worst question. How are you? Oh, don't ask that.

[Unknown Host]

Do not ask how I am bringing reality to the party. Knock it off.

[Pete Lee]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks 98.

[Unknown Host]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Pete Lee]

Like, everybody at the Cellar knows that I might just, like, go to the front table and just cry for a minute and that.

[Unknown Host]

Right?

[Pete Lee]

And then come back and be like, okay. And so, like, it's become normal.

[Unknown Host]

Where's the weirdest place you started crying? Not during one of these abstinence sessions.

[Pete Lee]

Oh. One of my friends, there were these three hot chicks. Like, they were like, models, and they. They were. They. He was. He was like. He's like, hey, I'm gonna set you up. We're gonna hang out and blah, blah. And we're just sitting there, and my friend Nikki Glaser sent me, like, a really heartfelt message, right? And. And this girl goes, oh, Nikki Glaser, I love her. You know, like Golden Globes. How great is she? And then I read her message, and it started to make me cry, and I was like, sorry, lady, I gotta go cry for a minute. And then. Excuse me.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, excuse me, hot lady. I believe I'm gonna weep openly.

[Pete Lee]

I'm going to. I'm going to express my emotions like I'm in a Boyz II Men song and be into that. If I was boys to men and I was a millionaire and I had four black Ds, by the way. That's. That's why those words worked for them. They had millions and they had four black Ds.

[Unknown Host]

It wasn't their beautiful voice or their good writing. It was just the black Ds.

[Pete Lee]

Black Ds, man. That's why it went for them.

[Unknown Host]

That's all that matters.

[Pete Lee]

But, yeah, the.

[Unknown Host]

If we had black Ds, we wouldn't even need these jobs. That's what the fire taught.

[Pete Lee]

That's what they. But, yeah, these gals, they. It was. I came back to the table, and they're like, so do you just do that? I'm like, yeah, when you don't. When you lose your house in your car and one of the gals, like, kind of threw it out there to me, like, well, I'll have sexy.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

And I was like, wetter than the.

[Unknown Host]

Reservoir watching you cry and tell everybody your tail, dude.

[Pete Lee]

I was like, you're the.

[Unknown Guest]

You're like, thank you, Chelsea. But no.

[Unknown Host]

Come on, Chelsea Handler is not.

[Pete Lee]

No.

[Unknown Host]

That's not. No.

[Pete Lee]

Out of the frying pan into the Botox. Did you have to decline?

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, dude.

[Pete Lee]

Her face is more petrified than my car. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Chelsea. I'm sorry. No, I. She's. She's been nice to me, but no. Yeah, I'm an overall.

[Unknown Host]

What are you gonna do?

[Pete Lee]

But, dude, this gal wanted. Yeah, she wanted to hook up with me. And I remember thinking. I. When she said that, I was like, a hero has emerged. And I'm like, wow, that's funny.

[Unknown Host]

Like, she's.

[Pete Lee]

You're the opposite of a gold digger. Most women want to sleep with you because you have a car and a house. This girl was like, you don't have one. But I made the joke on the Tonight show that this gal was like, my place or yours. And I Was like, yours.

[Unknown Host]

Mine is ash.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. You're part of my plan.

[Unknown Host]

Not a lot of dudes over there in Hamas doing a lot of, come over to my place, let's throw that on the rubble, huh? The way I like it. You're not doing that. My God.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

What a. What a laugh. Half year for you.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, it's. And, yeah, what was the worst thing.

[Unknown Host]

That happened to you before all of this? That was the one thing, if you were to sit there that, like, before any of what you've gone through in the last five months, if I asked Pete Lee, like, what's the worst thing that happened in your life? Great for a comedy interview. But I'm just saying, what's the worst thing that you would have complained about saying, man, it was just unfair.

[Pete Lee]

I had a really nice camera that I filmed all my shows with, and it. The. I had this cheap plastic Best Buy tripod.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

And the top plastic part cracked, and then my $2,000 camera just smashed.

[Unknown Host]

And that was just.

[Pete Lee]

I was like, oh, my. Dude. I was talking about it for weeks each worst day.

[Unknown Host]

Dude, did you ever cry at the table?

[Pete Lee]

No, no. But like, dude, in. In the fire. And like, I have my camera rig. I have all my hard drives, but like, that camera that. That smashed, dude, I had two more of them that burned. And that was just one of the things that burnt. Like. Yeah, I bought this jacket to wear that was like a really cool jacket. Had never worn. It was $900 toast. There. There was so much. There's just. Yeah, there was so much there that burned. That. Yeah, I. Not really. There's not a. I don't think that anything in my life even comps close.

[Unknown Guest]

I wonder if there'd have to be some stuff that all of a sudden pops up later like, oh, yeah, sure.

[Pete Lee]

Oh, every day. Yeah. I was like, I'm gonna go get my podcast. Oh, yeah, my podcast equipment burned. And. Yeah. I don't think that I've been through anything more traumatic in my life.

[Unknown Host]

Of course not. I would hope not.

[Pete Lee]

And at one point, I went through a birth. I was birthed. That's really traumatic.

[Unknown Host]

There's a reason why we don't remember it is because our bodies won't allow it.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. By the way, I gotta write that down. That's a good one.

[Unknown Host]

That's a great.

[Pete Lee]

I went through a birth once, and, yeah, I've really blocked.

[Unknown Host]

So from that trauma to this one, nothing even compares.

[Pete Lee]

No, no, no. Like, no detention in high school, no falling.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

I don. Know. Yeah. I don't think there's been any. Any. Anything. Yeah, and, yeah, but by the way, the. They called that fire the blowtorch because it was 100 miles an hour.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

And the funniest is terrible, but, like, three influencers died because they were like, fire selfie, but they didn't understand 100 mile an hour fire like this.

[Unknown Host]

They got vaporized trying to show them themselves on Instagram.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

I wonder if they had filters.

[Unknown Guest]

50 years.

[Pete Lee]

50 million.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, I get a good one.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, dude, for 50 million views, might.

[Unknown Host]

Light myself on fire. Yeah, that's not a bad idea.

[Unknown Guest]

On the. You know the question I had on the timeline when you did the Tonight show and all of a sudden you're texting, you're hearing from the Tesla, and all sudden it's gone.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Where did you go from there? Did you just stay in New York?

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, so I was in a hotel in New York City, and. And then I had to go down to the front desk and. And, like, you know how they have, like. I, like, like, canceled flight rates?

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

I had to go down to the front desk and be like, hey, do you guys have, like, like, a rate code for, like, this hotel? I had a house. And then. Do you have a rate code for, like. I don't have one now.

[Unknown Host]

The Lost at all rate.

[Pete Lee]

Lost it. All right. And they're. They're like, well, we can give you the cancel flight rate. And I was like, yeah, that's about on par.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, that seems fair.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, my. It's a. It's a canceled flight. Except for it's an address. It's not a flight number.

[Unknown Host]

It's canceled space on the planet. Crazy discount. Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

Wow.

[Unknown Host]

Dude, you've been through so much. I mean, yet here you are, which is good.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, Well, I. I've been doing comedy throughout it. There's only one day that I canceled shows, and it was the day that. It was the day that my neighbor Daryl and I, we went to go see the house. And. And it was. I. I made a video that went viral on the Internet about how, like, so the whole neighborhood burned down, but we had these Adirondack chairs. And by the way, we're in an hoa, which. When my house burned. Yeah, that's a violation.

[Unknown Host]

Everybody's getting fined.

[Pete Lee]

That's a huge.

[Unknown Host]

Everyone's getting fined.

[Pete Lee]

Huge violation. By the way, when I went on the Tonight show, like, I had nothing and. And Jimmy gave me a mug and a T shirt and whatever. I was like, dude, if I would have gone on Ellen, she would have Given me a house.

[Unknown Host]

He gave you tchotchkes from the Tonight Show. How bad is it going there?

[Pete Lee]

I got a Tonight show sweatsuit, and it was.

[Unknown Host]

It was. It was a Conan O'Brien one. It was garbage. Unbelievable. And a friend is foul. And he's been through enough to know. Good Lord. Pete Lee at the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend. A man who needs your time and energy. And I have a feeling this is like. You're just. This is.

[Pete Lee]

Please buy tickets.

[Unknown Host]

Oddly enough, this is funny fuel.

[Pete Lee]

It is. I mean, I've. They're gonna. Please. I know it's Valentine's Day. You're gonna hear a lot of house burn down jokes. And I've been saying that because I don't know if you've ever met a Gen Z girl on the Internet, but they'll be like, you can't joke about your house burning down. And I go on their page. I'm like, oh, did you type that from your home? Are you offended from. I don't have one. But it's not very Valentine's Day to talk about, you know, your house burning down. But, dude, I have probably seven minutes out of my show that's hysterical about my house burning down. And I can joke about it because, you know, if you're Polish, you can tell polok jokes. Right. If you're Norwegian, you can be like. You can always tell a Norwegian, but you can't tell how much. And that's the extent of the examples.

[Unknown Host]

I'm not giving it. I know. And if you're black, you can joke about your house burning down. That's it.

[Pete Lee]

Well, I don't. Yeah. My. My house is blacker than them.

[Unknown Host]

You were uncomfortable a second ago.

[Pete Lee]

You've.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. You've got. You've got black cred in your own weird way.

[Pete Lee]

My house is the color black. It's literally black, color wise, inside out.

[Unknown Host]

There is no secondary colors on this. It's one. No diversity, equality, and inclusion.

[Pete Lee]

It wasn't orange. And that was.

[Unknown Host]

You know what sucks, though? You come here.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

On Valentine's weekend, which is couples weekend.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

So your abstinence plan to get three or four abstinent dates out of this is gonna suck because I don't. Well, maybe there'll be a Galentine's table. You can abstinence. All of that. Well, some people right in the ass.

[Pete Lee]

Some people are couples. Yeah. Right. Well, I don't know if you. If the couples are coming out. You know, sometimes couples want to bring someone else in.

[Unknown Host]

I've heard that. So I've heard a story like that in the past.

[Pete Lee]

Who knows? Who knows?

[Unknown Host]

We had a friend tell us that a long time ago, and he was into it.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, but I'm gonna be so abstinent all weekend.

[Unknown Host]

And you're gonna be so tired from your abstinence.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, dude. If anybody has a chapel I can go to to just kneel and pray.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, my God, Pete, anytime you're. You tell your story here anytime you want. We've grown to love you over the last year or so. You've popped up.

[Pete Lee]

Thanks for letting me tell my story.

[Unknown Host]

And that's why I should be Adam Rira. And that's why we have Pete Lee here. You come over, you got a burned down house. You need to play stuff.

[Pete Lee]

Hey, how's that working out for you?

[Unknown Host]

How's that working for you? Feel like maybe you did something wrong in your life to deserve this?

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. Do you feel that sometimes that maybe it's something, your past coming back and like, oh, boy, this is a karma.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, dude. Yeah, I'm. I have that all the time where I'm like. I'm like, what happened?

[Unknown Host]

But if you look around your neighborhood, you realize this wasn't an. This wasn't a targeted thing. It just my behavior. Everybody's this bad then.

[Pete Lee]

Oh, every. Yeah, there was a. So there's a guy in my neighborhood I had a restraining order against because he was stalking me.

[Unknown Host]

And.

[Pete Lee]

And I gotta be honest with you, like, the silver lining was I was like, oh, my God, his house burned out. He's a really bad person. And his house burned down. And I'm so happy. And. But yeah, we.

[Unknown Host]

You walk by a few neighbors and you're like, good, I'm glad we're done.

[Pete Lee]

With them, dude, I was so sad. I was so sad at several neighbors. Like, I just walked around the house or walked around the neighborhood and, like, kind of just cried for all my neighbors. And then I got to his house and I was. I laughed like a villain. I was like.

[Unknown Host]

And he saw you do it because he was still in the tre.

[Pete Lee]

Oh, yeah, he's still. Oh, I wish he was still in that house.

[Unknown Host]

Wouldn't it be awful if he moved into 5e?

[Pete Lee]

Mind you, he comes to New York, he's like, I've got you.

[Unknown Host]

I needed a furnished place too. I heard you on the radio talking.

[Unknown Guest]

About, come out wherever you are.

[Unknown Host]

Now you some bitchly at Desert Ridge Improv tonight, Tomorrow and Sunday, desertridgeimprov.com I'm not even going to ask you to leave us in a better place or give us words of wisdom. Unless you've got that, son.

[Pete Lee]

No, I. When I leave places, they burn down. So have fun. You guys.

[Unknown Host]

Is here. Pete lee.net thank you man. And everything's going to be great. I know it. But that's easy for me to say because I'm going home in a few minutes.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, it's out of control now.