02-17-26 - Bad Acting In The Bible - Jesus Needs Better Magic - BO

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness Podcast

Episode: 02-17-26 - Bad Acting In The Bible - Jesus Needs Better Magic
Date: February 17, 2026
Cast: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Kenny, Sarah

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Episode Overview

This lively and irreverent episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness spins comic gold out of two main topics: hilarious holiday hijinks involving nativity scenes and a brutally honest (and funny) critique of biblical TV dramatizations. The crew riff on the absurdity of stealing Baby Jesus figurines as a holiday prank, debate nativity scene logistics, and then tear into the bad acting and lackluster "stage magic" in televised Bible adaptations. Layered throughout are witty observations about religious calendars, historical influence, and the marketing of world religions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Pranks with Nativity Scenes

• Listener Email: Brady shares how a listener "one-upped" his own childhood yard decor pranks:
  • In Wisconsin, a group of friends played "Baby Jesus Hunting," stealing Baby Jesuses from nativity scenes and returning them on Easter.
    • “We would write down the addresses on the baby Jesus, put them in our cars, and then on Easter morning we’d put it back.” (Brady, 01:18)
• Nativity Scene Traditions:
  • The crew discuss the tradition of placing Baby Jesus in the nativity on Christmas morning versus having it out earlier.
  • Sarah details her family’s tradition: “We put Baby Jesus out on Christmas morning.” (Sarah, 02:15)
• Where’s Jesus in the Offseason?
  • Playful banter about storing Jesus in a drawer.
  • “He’s in there. We know he’s in the drawer. You don’t touch that drawer.” (Sarah, 03:36)
  • Brady personifies the figurine: “Hello, Brady. Put me in my manger. I can’t do it yet, Jesus not… Not born quite… you stay in the drawer.” (Brady, 03:48)

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2. Bad Acting in Bible TV Shows

• Recent Bible Series Viewing:
  • Kenny asks if they've watched the new Bible series, prompting a volley of scathing reviews.
  • Brady calls the guy playing Jesus "the worst actor I’ve ever seen. Chris Cornell is terrible." (Brady, 04:11)
  • They joke that this Jesus is too pretty but can’t act: “He’s gorgeous… He’s like the Brad Pitt [of Bible dramas].” (Kenny, 04:17)
• Criticism of Dramatic Choices:
  • The group finds the performances melodramatic and the miracles underwhelming.
  • Brady on a miracle scene: “They put the ear back on that dude… I’m like, Jesus, can you smile? Can you give me a giggle? Why is everything so down? This is our last meal together, friends. Kenny, come on. You’re so down all the time. He wouldn’t have had one friend if that’s how he really was.” (Brady, 04:36)
  • They lampoon the lack of realistic reactions: “This dude’s ear is back on… No, we still gotta kill him. That was neat, though. I gotta tell you, that Copperfield thing was pretty cool.” (Brady, 05:28)

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3. Jesus as a Showman: Missed Opportunities

• Why the Low-Key Miracles?
  • The group jokes that Jesus could have been a superstar if he’d shown better stage presence and more “magic.”
  • “If you’re the king of kings and you do all these miracles, I would have put on a hell of a show. A lot better than all this subtle crap.” (Brady, 06:06)
  • Imagining Jesus introducing modern inventions to avoid execution: “This is a light bulb that’s coming in about 1700 years. You’re gonna love it.… I’m just showing you this stuff from the future so you don’t kill me.” (Brady, 07:30)
• Why Isn’t Jesus Marketed Like Buddha?
  • They imagine Jesus as a pitchman like Buddha is for Lucky Jeans: “He’s a lucky jeans guy. He’s a spokesman, though. You get a job as the face of a company.” (Brady, 10:30)

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4. Religious Calendars & Business Decisions

• Why Does Everyone Use the Gregorian Calendar?
  • The crew question why non-Christian cultures and religions use A.D. dating.
  • “Why do, like, other religions go by our calendar, like 2013?” (Kenny, 08:19)
  • Consensus: It’s all about “business” and global convenience.
  • “It’s all business. It’s all money. The Western…” (Brady, 08:38)
• Sarah and Brady discuss ancient calendar fixes and note that Chinese New Year persists in parallel.

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5. Comparing Religious Figures

• Buddha's smiling persona is favorably compared to the consistently dour depictions of Jesus.
  • “The thing I liked about Buddha is that he’s still smiling. You know, he basically lost his job and he’s still smiling.” (Brady, 10:04)
  • “You imagine in other countries, you went over there and Jesus was on their Lucky Brand Jeans? … Or you get to rub the Buddha… Rub the Jesus for luck.” (Brady & Sarah, 10:32–10:58)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the “Baby Jesus Hunting” tradition:
  • “A large group of us would go out and collect the baby Jesi from the people’s Nativity scenes… and then on Easter morning we’d put it back.” (Brady, 01:18)
• On the acting in Bible dramatizations:
  • “He’s the worst actor I’ve ever seen. Chris Cornell is terrible.” (Brady, 04:11)
  • “Jesus, can you smile? Can you give me a giggle? Why is everything so down?... He wouldn’t have had one friend if that’s how he really was.” (Brady, 04:44)
• On low-impact miracles:
  • “Nobody is converted at that moment. This dude’s ear is back on… That was neat, though. I gotta tell you, that Copperfield thing was pretty cool.” (Brady, 05:22)
• On the lack of showmanship:
  • “A lot better than that. All this subtle crap. Nonsense… You’d have put on some thunderous stuff. I have built the city of the future. This is a new car. You’re going to love this stuff.” (Brady, 06:08)
• Business and calendars:
  • “It’s all business. It’s all money.” (Brady, 08:38)
• Religious marketing irony:
  • “He’s a lucky jeans guy. He’s a spokesman, though… You imagine in other countries, Jesus was on their Lucky Brand Jeans…” (Brady, 10:30–10:32)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 01:00 – 02:26: Nativity prank and Baby Jesus tradition
• 03:33 – 03:48: The “Jesus in a drawer” skit
• 04:04 – 05:20: Bible TV show critique and Jesus’ acting
• 06:02 – 07:30: “Jesus, the showman” riff
• 08:19 – 09:31: World religions and the universal calendar
• 09:55 – 10:58: Buddha vs. Jesus as cultural icons

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Summary & Tone

The hosts combine sharp-witted banter and pop-culture reverence with irreverent humor, poking fun at both religious rituals and the failings of their dramatizations. The show’s light, mocking tone is evident from beginning to end, making even theological discussions entertaining and relatable.

Whether discussing sneaky nativity escapades or why Jesus would be a flop as a modern magician, the conversation is vibrant, quick, and loaded with the kind of humor that makes HMS a local favorite.

Transcript

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[Brady]

There's more of the best of Homburg's Morning Sickness Guy emails Me I remember we were talking about the things we did to people's front yard, stealing gnomes and pinwheels. And I had mentioned that we had taken some from a yard ceramic deer, put them in someone else's yard in a decorative way, and when the people were looking for their gnomes, their gnomes had moved down the street a couple houses, so they had to knock on the door and say, did you steal my gnomes? Or whatever. We hoped this guy one upped that. This is pretty awesome. I wanted to let you know a game we used to play back in Wisconsin around Christmas called Baby Jesus Hunting. A large group of us would go out and collect the baby Jesi from the people's Nativity scenes. We would write down the addresses on the baby Jesus, put them in our cars, and then on Easter morning we'd put it back.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

But.

[Kenny]

I guess they would stick their scene out even without the baby Jesus.

[Brady]

Oh yeah, if you put it out.

[Sarah]

There, you only put it out on Christmas morning.

[Kenny]

Yeah, you don't really do it for Easter, do you?

[Brady]

Oh, the nativity.

[Sarah]

Yeah, you leave them out.

[Brady]

That's what he's saying. You steal Jesus for Christmas. Be like, oh, I'm saying when people.

[Sarah]

Put up on their Christmas, you don't fill the manger. You, you have the whole scene set up. They're just hanging out in the manger. And then on Christmas, because we used to Put the one in our house. We put baby Jesus out on Christmas morning.

[Brady]

So we stayed in the box, just.

[Sarah]

Like the tree, you know, the 25 days of Christmas.

[Kenny]

So how would he return it on Easter? Just put it like at their doors.

[Brady]

Yeah, Jesus returns on Easter. Every nativity scene I've ever seen in somebody's front yard, there's a Jesus in the manger.

[Sarah]

I know. And I always thought, take him out of there until Christmas.

[Kenny]

Really?

[Brady]

So you just think that they sat there like authentic. Yeah, just plastic things. And then Jesus is in a box in the garage for like two weeks, then. That's just disrespectful.

[Kenny]

So he has like, you know, a week or two to, you know, perform for everyone.

[Brady]

Yeah, give him some time. I mean, we're celebrating. It's not Christmas Day. There's no reason to put up the Nativity scene at all until like the day before with your realistic, you know, Daniel Day Lewis style of nativity scenery.

[Kenny]

Plus they. They probably didn't just stay there forever.

[Brady]

Something's gonna happen.

[Sarah]

The one we had in our front yard also, there's. There was real people. They lived there for.

[Brady]

Oh, that's a little rough. And then they had to actually give birth. So. Yeah, we're about nine months out now. It's probably time to get your nativity.

[Sarah]

Was a little off a couple years. We did some C sections.

[Brady]

No kidding.

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You.

[Brady]

You guys used to wait on the baby Jesus?

[Sarah]

Yeah, on the inside one in the house.

[Brady]

What'd you do with him in the meantime?

[Sarah]

Hit him in a drawer?

[Brady]

Cuz he's in there.

[Sarah]

We know he's in the drawer.

[Blue Wave Pools Announcer]

Right.

[Sarah]

You don't touch that drawer.

[Brady]

Because it's not like baby Jesus, just mag.

[Sarah]

Every now and then I'd peek in. There he is.

[Brady]

Jesus. Is it showtime soon?

[Sarah]

You'll be in that.

[Brady]

Hello, Brady. Put me in my manger. I can't do it yet. Jesus not. Not born quite. You stay in the drawer.

[Kenny]

Have you guys been watching the Bible?

[Brady]

I watched yesterday and I laughed hysterically.

[Sarah]

It is so cheesy acting minutes because it's awful. And. Is this a new series or is.

[Kenny]

Yeah, yeah, it's a new series.

[Brady]

A big deal.

[Kenny]

But now they're in the Jesus part where he's about to get crucified. And the guy playing Jesus is just.

[Brady]

He's the worst actor I've ever seen. Chris Cornell is terrible.

[Sarah]

That's what I said to you.

[Brady]

He's gorgeous.

[Kenny]

I mean, he is gorgeous. He's like the Brad Pitt is Mary.

[Brady]

The pretty blonde No, I think she's the dirty, curly, dark haired girl. I think. Yeah, but I was watching him tip the table.

[Sarah]

Maybe that was Sarah.

[Kenny]

Yeah. When he flipped the tables over because the money was there.

[Brady]

You call me a dog and I'm doing.

[Kenny]

He touched that one guy's chest.

[Brady]

They put the ear. Put the ear back on that dude. And he just stood there. I'm like, jesus, can you smile? Can you give me a giggle? Why is everything so down? This is our last meal together, friends. Kenny, come on. You're so down all the time. He wouldn't have had one friend if that's how he really was. Three of you will betray me. You know what? I'm gonna go to the bar. This dude is a downer.

[Kenny]

I like him.

[Brady]

His message is nice and all that, but I've got to give all my money to poor people. And he's always telling me we suck. You'll deny me three times before the morrow.

[Sarah]

But then he brought me around when he washed my feet. I mean, that was.

[Blue Wave Pools Announcer]

That's a big deal.

[Sarah]

It's cool.

[Brady]

Oh, he cured that dude's ear and the reaction.

[Sarah]

And that soldier that got. Yeah.

[Brady]

Got his ear chopped off when he lived by the sword. To dive a sword, he chops like soldiers. And then he stops screaming so someone can deliver a line. Then he's back at it, and Jesus touches him. And nobody's like, nobody is converted at that moment. This dude's ears. No, we still got to kill him. That was neat, though. I gotta tell you, that Copperfield thing was pretty cool. But the acting in it is so bad. And Jesus is absolutely stunning.

[Sarah]

They would testify on his behalf, the Roman soldiers, you think.

[Kenny]

Yeah. You think that they would.

[Sarah]

Ear. And it came back.

[Kenny]

He brought a guy back to life.

[Brady]

I mean, touched a dude's chest.

[Sarah]

They brought that into the. Into the trial and stuff.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

But.

[Sarah]

But this was all. You know, he was a.

[Kenny]

Why didn't he just perform? Conscious pilot.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Kenny]

If I'm.

[Brady]

Look, if you're the king of kings and you do all these miracles, I would have put on a hell of a show. A lot better than that. All this subtle crap. Nonsense. And, you know, if you're that worried about, you know, spare me, spare me all this stuff. You'd have put on some thunderous stuff. I have built the city of the future. This is a new car. You're gonna love this stuff. I've seen it all. I know everything that's gonna happen. This guy's amazing. He might be a witch, but I think I'd rather follow the witch than the guy who's left us in the bread house. That all we eat is this awful tortilla shell.

[Kenny]

You want to make him the genie from.

[Brady]

Take a look over here.

[Kenny]

God.

[Brady]

It's a new car. Okay, Dupton, I created it. Look, I don't know if I. I am following this one.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

God.

[Brady]

Do you have anything that's.

[Sarah]

That's why Pilot washed his hands. It's like, look, I can't put this guy away.

[Kenny]

No, no, I'll give it to you guys.

[Brady]

He still killed him, though. You. You put that guy, you know, on a stage. The whole point of it is that they made a mistake, right? That's the whole point of the things like, he died. They didn't pull out.

[Sarah]

They didn't make a mistake.

[Brady]

Yeah, they did. They could have made him a show. He would have been the best entertainer of all time.

[Sarah]

He could have had that option.

[Brady]

Welcome Jesus Christ. All right, everybody watch this and imagine.

[Kenny]

We wouldn't have that, you know, sad crucifix thing. We'd have, like, a picture of Jesus around our neck doing cool things.

[Brady]

Will you cure us of disease, Jesus? Some of you, but watch this. This is a light bulb that's coming in about 1700 years. You're gonna love it. Oh, that's really neat. Do we get one? No, I'm just showing you this stuff from the future so you don't kill me. He was a showman.

[Sarah]

Speed it up.

[Brady]

But you know why? It's because he was. He was kind of like, you know, that one friend everybody has that they like, but he's not. He's got no personality. Like, he enjoys company, but he's got no personality. So he had no stage presence. Jesus had no stage presence, Brady.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

That was the big one.

[Kenny]

Well, yeah, just in that show.

[Brady]

I'm not gonna.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Jesus.

[Brady]

Oh, we don't know.

[Kenny]

He may have had some.

[Brady]

The way they're presenting him, the way they're.

[Sarah]

Leave a story this long.

[Brady]

Yeah, somebody that cool with that many, you know, magical gifts should have been on stage somewhere. So he just. He didn't. He didn't Q score with the audience.

[Kenny]

What I don't understand is why do, like, other religions go by our calendar, like 2013?

[Brady]

I've wondered that about the Japanese, especially, because theirs was on thousands of years. Or the Asians.

[Kenny]

Why does everybody like, why do Buddhists? Why do Muslims? Why?

[Brady]

For business.

[Kenny]

Why do even Jews do it? I mean, he was just a prophet to them.

[Brady]

Business. It's all business. It's all money. Because we, you know, the Western.

[Sarah]

A lot of the. Came down to the business. The power too, because the Roman Empire is probably the. For a while and then for. I think the. Early on, maybe the Chinese had something going on, a couple of their dynasties.

[Kenny]

But so everybody just said, all right, we'll just make this zero.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Well, there was one. Who was it? August. One of the Augustus decided, hey, my birthday. I want to add a day. Or was it a month?

[Brady]

I think that was before Jesus, though. I think that was BC time. They still had the money.

[Sarah]

It was. But he. But they changed calendar then.

[Brady]

But like the Chinese still celebrate their Chinese New Year. But I remember this now. We don't do it anymore. We still celebrate it. We'll go to Vegas and stuff. But we still have to go by Jesus time. Yeah.

[Kenny]

Why do you.

[Brady]

They're on Jesus time ad. Yep.

[Kenny]

Why would they use the ad after death or what? Who?

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

That guy?

[Brady]

Yeah, that guy. I never liked him. I never went. He never went on stage. And he didn't give us any, like, memorable moments really, as. As our culture.

[Kenny]

Why is a Buddhist ad.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's a great point, Brady.

[Sarah]

He just didn't have the impact that Jesus did.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Buddha.

[Kenny]

Buddha, yeah.

[Brady]

He's selling lucky jeans.

[Sarah]

He did smile, but I think people, again, were snobby and they're like, look, Jesus is a little more fit if it wasn't. That's true.

[Brady]

The thing I liked about Buddha is that he's still smiling. You know, he basically lost his job and he's still smiling.

[Sarah]

And they never. I don't think they put. Is Buddha more of a prophet? I mean, of course other religions look at Jesus as a prophet and Christianity look at.

[Kenny]

But why is he the man, like, even. Even Jewish to me, like, why. Why would you go by that?

[Brady]

Buddhism's even weirder than Jesusism. So I'm out on both of them. But I like that. Buddha lost his job.

[Kenny]

He's off.

[Brady]

Forget it. I don't care. I go sell jeans. He's a lucky jeans guy. He's a spokesman, though. You get a job. You got a job as a. The face of a company. You imagine in other countries, you went over there and Jesus was on their lucky brand jeans. Oh, cool. Or you get to rub the Buddha. When you go into casinos and stuff, the Aria has a big Buddha there. Everybody rubs it. It's like one with the Jesus. Rub the Jesus for luck.

[Sarah]

It's out of control now.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

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