
Loading summary
Dick Toledo
It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel America's 1 Sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only. $5. First deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text Next Step to II.
Brady
The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Oops. I mistimed my last bite. I thought it'd be done by now. Bear with me.
Cory
Let's just have a moment of silence.
Brady
There we go. Thanks. Miles to nowhere. Beautiful Wednesday morning. If you're flying today, you're gonna crash. I used to say it all the time. You're gonna run into something. We just had a electrical fire just now. You smell that? Are we crashing? You smell that? Yeah.
Brett
A new smell. I think that's right.
Brady
It's a new smell.
Brett
It smells like. I think it's coming from Toledo's.
Brady
Does he get a hibachi in there? What is he doing?
Brett
Probably coffee flavoring or something that smells.
Brady
Like they flavor coffee. Electrical fire. No, no. You don't have anything cooking. Do you smell it? I think it's a small fire brewing. Something just popped. Anyway, we'll get an electrician in here if we can afford Toledo.
Cory
I doubt it.
Brady
Me too. He feels I just like that. I was like, you guys smell that? Brady looked at me like a Russian who just learned English. Yes.
Kevin
A new smell.
Brady
Yeah, right. That's what you'd say when you smell it. As far as. There it is again. As far as the. That's bad. The cannibal goes. This guy Justin Scudella has the best idea I've ever seen. Feed the child molesters in the prison system to the cannibals. Cannibals never get out. Child molesters go away. Put them all in the same place. Great idea. So, John, the problem is the America you grew up in would have killed that cannibal. And now we won't. And it's the moment the public gave itself over to the Internet and social media. Suddenly a fringe group isn't such a small voice. That kind of crazy used to get dragged into the forest and never come back because society had standards. What the hell did this world come into? To quote the great Jackie Gleason, whose birthday it is today says, remember that gay German cannibal that Ramstein wrote Mine Teal about? Apparently he became a vegetarian when he was in prison. Then again, he probably was just as insufferable as the type who lectures you that meat is murder and how his impossible burger tastes just like the real thing. That's true. He was probably trying to take his sage burgers and whatever he was cooking with sunflowers and dandelions, mashing it up and making it look like a human meat burger. It tastes just like people, only it's better for the environment. So this needs to be a test with the cannibal. Kind of like when they do those test taste testings, when they get people they. Lots of food in front of them. Like when Brady goes down to that ditch by his house and eats apple pies. They see which ones they like, which one they don't. They judge and they have a will you eat? People test for the rehabilitated cannibals. They put a bunch of different foods in front of them, like Jell O Cups and french fries and then mystery meat. If they even reach for mystery meat, they're. They're going back into the joint. That's a good idea. They have to be better than that. Somebody also said, what would you rather have move in next door to you? A cannibal that has to report or a family with five kids? Well, one I can control. The cannibal.
Cory
Yeah, I'll take.
Brady
The last thing I want is a family of five living next door to me. Good Christ. And. And that's a family of seven. Yuck. No. Yeah, I would take it. I would take two. Two kids maximum living next door to me. And even still, I'm thinking about getting out of that neighborhood. The cannibal living next door to me. I assume that's always going to be one on one. I can handle that. I scream at kids for walking on my walls and messing around with stuff or ringing my doorbells or baseball cannibal.
Cory
Keep an eye on you know what he's gonna do?
Brady
Know what? Yeah, the kids are unpredictable cannibals. I'm like, it's one thing I'm watching for him walking around with a napkin in his shirt with a fork and a knife in his hand like a cartoon character. Now I'm thinking, oh, yeah, I don't need. Yeah, the cannibal would be. I'd rather live next door to the Cannibal than a bunch of a family with a. I'll say a family was an only child. Still not favorable, but there it is. And kind of a dorky one. Like if I see a family move in next to me, I want the only child to be sort of awful looking because that means she doesn't or he doesn't have any friends. You know, just automatically thinking of the people down the street from me that have that. That girl that all of her friends come over all the time.
Brett
But you automatically would be wondering every time the grill is fired up.
Brady
Sure, but wandering's better than hearing kids.
Cory
Yeah, but I'm not going there to eat, so it doesn't matter.
Brady
I got to hear all the. The pool splashing, the 55 children in the backyard, all that joy tik tok challenges going on. Christ. And the videos and the chalk in my culdesac of terribly stupid things they've drawn all over the road. Yeah. The Cannibal won't be vandalizing everything.
Cory
Bring on Dahmer.
Brady
Yeah. And if he's got. He's got a barbecue going and it's not me, I'm fine with that. It's when you don't smell the barbecue because you're the barbecue, that's when you got to worry. The cannibal I can keep an eye on. So. Yeah, easy answer there. Give me the cannibal. Give me the sex offender way before you give me a family with five kids. Yikes. I'd join Al Qaeda before I'd lived next door to a family with five children. You know how annoying that family's got to be? Oh, oh, we just cherish children. We're not going to get along at all. And they'd be talky cuz they're. They're never around adults. Oh, no. No, thank you. Out cannibals are better than parents, I think, as far as just society goes quieter. Yeah, but I don't want, like, I don't want to. I don't want neighbors to move in with, like, great looking sons, you know, because then Braden, they'll live in parties and they'll have. Yeah, they'll be popular and people will be over all the time and the cars will be parked wrong. And Cannibal's not going to have a lot of visitors. He's going to be kind of isolated over there. If he does have visitors, I'd keep an eye on how long that car's sitting in the driveway. And if it ever goes into the garage, I'LL know exactly what happened. It seems like they had a house guest there for three or four days there. Tyre? Yeah. Had some family over. Can I meet him? Yeah, they're out right now.
Kevin
Oh.
Brady
But they left their car. They take a long walk. Yeah. Anyway, I gotta go back inside for a little bit. Something burning? Yeah. Bye, Tyree. It's better than that knock on the door or the dad standing next to the 13 year old. Brayden. Tell Mr. Humbert you're sorry. Sorry.
Kevin
Shot your window out. My baby got you.
Brady
Little prick. We'll pay for it, don't worry. Idiot.
Kevin
Sorry I went in your backyard.
Brady
Yeah. What are you doing back there?
Kevin
My baseball went over there.
Brady
Yeah. That would imply that kids played baseball nowadays outside instead of on.
Kevin
Yeah, sorry I stole from your garage fridge.
Brady
That's more than likely what would happen. But I want a kid next door that's goofy looking, maybe a little rotund.
Brett
I've had to toss a couple of balls over the fence.
Brady
Sure, I'll do one or two, but I mean it gets to be a habit when there's five kids. I want one of those knock kneed, duck toed weird kids that you know isn't athletic. So there's not going to be any sports going on in the cul de sac. And if there are, they'd be hilarious trying to watch that monster run around like. Like that thing that used to chase Bugs Bunny after it at eight pills. That's the kind of kids I like. If it's not mentally challenged or physically deformed, I'm not interested in your healthy kids living by me. Bring on the cannibal. I was, I was seeing this yesterday. Here's another thing that us guys have to worry of. This is a total girl thing. And it has come up in my home in the past. Although kind of not a thing now. You got to put it. You got to stomp this down. They're now calling it stream cheating. You are a stream cheating husband. And if you're a guy and this bothers you, you're the biggest pussy on the planet. It's basically when you watch a show without her and evidently they're calling it. Some women are saying that it's a betrayal. Oh my God. Another reason to be gay. The world of modern relationship. It's a crime that can even test the strongest couples. Watching shows is a way for us to bond. We don't want to watch Bridgerton. It kind of goes back to the argument of like no man has ever picketed to try to get into a Curves facility. But women will pick it an all male gym because they want in with our stuff. I want to watch Shoresy. If you want to watch Shoresy, that's great. We'll watch that. But I don't want to watch the girl shows you watch. I don't want to watch those.
Kevin
We're bonding.
Brady
No, you're bonding. I'm bored.
Brett
Well, that's what we find. The commonality, though. They, you know, like, sure, Ronnie watches stuff completely opposite of what I watch.
Brady
Right.
Brett
But every once in a while you find that. Oh, that movie. I'd watch that one.
Brady
A movie.
Brett
And I'm like, okay, I'll watch that. But then.
Brady
But we're talking. You're talking about a movie. That's two hours. I'm talking about like a. Like you get involved in a TV show.
Brett
Yeah, that's kind of fun.
Brady
Sure. But if you watch it without them, suddenly it's cheating. Oh, yeah, You're Betrayal. Let's drop the word betrayal ahead of.
Brett
Me by two episodes.
Brady
Yeah, I watched some of the. I was up late last night. You went to bed at 9. I watched a few episodes of this. Pretty good. You swap?
Kevin
I wanted to watch that with you.
Brady
Why?
Cory
It's still there.
Brady
It's turning on. Same thing. We can't bond. We weren't bonding. You were on the couch. I was on my phone playing, you know, Bruno Bear. I love Bruno Bear.
Cory
It was with O.J. same thing. You watched it without me? I'm like, yeah, it's still on Netflix. Betrayal whenever you want now. It wasn't betrayal. She didn't care that much.
Brady
It was just kind of like. She called lawyers.
Cory
Yeah, I mean.
Brady
Hey, it's Kevin Rowe. What's going on? But, Kevin, she's leaving me. I did an Internet stream. Betrayal.
Cory
I betrayed her.
Brett
I started LA Suits without her.
Brady
I won't defend you. I won't do it. That's the most betrayal. Why didn't you just have sex with a teenager? Gosh. I guess you're right, Kevin. It is betrayal. Don't throw. Throw that on us ladies. That it's a betrayal. You're a little bothered by it. You could. Like Brett said, you can watch that show. If I'm home all day by myself and nobody's there, I'm gonna kick on a show. What's wrong with that? Why can't I have entertainment alone?
Brett
Oh, you should have to wait for me.
Brady
There's something. Something. Check out Hornburg's Morning sickness podcast at 98kupd.comberg's morning sickness. Why?
Brett
Cause if she jumped ahead two episodes, would you be mad?
Brady
No. Nope. I can catch up. And also, I want to watch some stuff where within the first minute or two I'm not hearing.
Kevin
Who's that guy? What's that?
Brady
You were on your phone. Pay attention.
Kevin
Well, I don't. I can ask questions.
Brady
Jesus Christ. I watched this earlier today, so I know who everybody is.
Kevin
You watched without me?
Brady
Yeah. Sydney Sweeney's in it. She gets naked. I didn't want to be. I didn't want you to see how I react to that. Naturally. It's called Netflix adultery. Don't start putting weight on this. Ladies, you got to get over this one right away. There's already too many. You realize the Japanese are getting real close to that sex doll being pretty perfect. You know what? She'll never complain about what you watched earlier in the day. And she can download it and have it in her system within like a minute.
Cory
And if you're suffering from that, just hang yourself.
Brady
You're a. Yeah. How about a conversation? Let's go have a chat. Like, tell me about what you're thinking rather than whether or not I should watch Invincible with you and not the movie, the cartoon show. It's boring. And that's the worst part. When you get into a show like, all right, we'll watch this together. And then you're sitting there watching it and one of the two of you is miserable. This sucks. And the other one likes it. Now there's some sort of an offensive, like, well, you think my stuff's dumb. And then you have to go in separate spaces to, like this. You got to find time to watch one by yourself because you're interested. And it's almost like you're angry, but you're not. It's causing a problem. Old fashioned TV was better where it was just on when it was on.
Kevin
Well, I like it, so I'm going to watch it.
Brady
All right. I'll go in the other room.
Kevin
You're not even going to spend time with me.
Brady
You're watching something stupid.
Cory
Yeah, we're not going to talk.
Brady
I'm going to go. Yeah, I'm going to go watch some, like, awesome, cool dude stuff.
Kevin
Well, you go do that, you won't even spend time with me.
Cory
I don't want to watch Bridgerton smoking the Bandit again.
Brady
Yes. Because it gets me every time. If a guy. If a woman left the room during smoking the Bandit, every guy would be like, awesome. Now I can get. I don't have to listen.
Kevin
Pause it.
Brady
Pause. Smokey and the Bandit. I'll tell you what's going to happen. That's when the thing goes to Sheriff Little comes out, and he says he looks a lot taller on the radio. And they go, what's that commentary like? You're not missing much, but you're not going to laugh anyway.
Kevin
Really. We're watching Barbed Wire. Yeah.
Brady
It was when she was in her prime. Yeah, the acting's terrible and the story's dumb, but watch her bounce around. Pam Anderson's onto something here. Let's watch the Last Showgirl, otherwise known as the horrors of aging. No. Why do I want to watch Pam Anderson struggle with her looks when I've got the time vault here in Barbed Wire?
Kevin
You want to watch with me?
Brady
No, because I can't say what I'm thinking. Man, I wish Pam Anderson would put some makeup on. It's brave and all that, but come on. She's still aging really well. We're brave to watch it, but come on, I don't need to see her and Jamie Lee Curtis complaining about being old ladies. Still trying. That's terrifying. You shouldn't want to watch that either. It's your future. Being alone and working in some bar. I mean, come on. That's. That's horrifying. Remember what it used to be like when you were relevant? Come on. Want me to sit here and talk to you during that? No, no, no, no, no. Let's watch I Am Joe Frazier. It's a great documentary.
Kevin
I want to watch this.
Brady
I'll go in the other room. Netflix Betrayal. Don't. Relationships aren't easy. For the most part, when it comes to finding entertaining things together anyway, the best. Can you imagine our grandparents one television in the house? That's when men. You say, we're watching what I want. My dad used to do that. It's my house, my tv. We watch what I want to watch. And he just flat out.
Brett
Oh, yeah.
Brady
In the middle of whatever it was.
Brett
Dad would come home or they got the. Their priority on tv.
Brady
The only reason it's like.
Brett
It's like at a club if kids got to get out, you know?
Brady
Yeah. The only off the court I knew who Marlon Perkins was is because no matter what I was watching, Marlon Perkins was on, my dad was watching it. Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom was something I would have never sat through if it weren't for my dad's rule of it's my tv. I paid for everything. You're watching what I want to watch my go. And I'd have to turn off like something dumb. And he wasn't. You know, he wasn't interested. So it moved my parents.
Brett
I eventually enjoyed. Wasn't that hard of a cell.
Brady
I didn't. I thought it was the most boring. And I also had you go back.
Brett
And you look and.
Brady
No, I would watch, and I would have logical questions as a. How did the cameraman get ahead of that thing if Jim's just now getting to the tunnel? Somebody had to place that camera in that snake's den. Shut up. All right. You didn't think of that. And now Jim is gonna see. Oh, he's found the snake. Like, no, the cameraman found it before. There's a camera in the snake.
Brett
Product placement.
Brady
Yeah, it's inside the snake hole, and it's looking from the snake's perspective. Someone was already in there. Shut up. Okay. Just saying, you're not smart. That's all. Wildlife. I remember that one. There was a grizzly bear that Jim stumbled upon, and the cameraman was walking around, like, by the bear. Like, they're getting close shots of the bear's arm, and he's standing up, and I'm like, that cameraman's within, like, a foot of that thing. And Jim's, like, 30ft away with a throwing stuff. He's the brave one, and somehow or another. Oh, there you go, Brett. You found it. All right, get away from the tv. Leave it. This. This song right here makes me get away from the television because I would reach up and turn it with my hands. It's. It's wild. Wild world. Wild world. Brought to you by Mutual of Omaha. All right, sit down. Shut up. This is going to be good stuff. Starring Marlon Perkins. He's the director of the St. Louis Zoo. I didn't know that. There's your boy, Jim Fowler, the guy who did everything.
Brett
The man.
Brady
All right. To you. I also thought. This one's called tuskers below, and they're following some elephants around. Wow. What an intro this thing is. 20. 20 minutes of the show is an intro. Jesus Christ, how many times I get to see that Indian?
Brett
The company that pays.
Brady
They just did all this. They're going back to the title cards twice.
Brett
They just looped it.
Brady
Nope.
Cory
No, it's the intro.
Brady
Beginning of the show is way too long.
Cory
Why do they need a writer on this show?
Brady
Well, Marlon had to know what to say. Oh, come on. The real heroes of this show are the cameramen. They never, ever get credit. Jesus, this is a hell of an intro.
Brett
Shrinking elephants with a crafted elephant.
Brady
And then we. Yeah, and Then they had a bunch of savages piling stuff in boxes. Yeah. Bigger question is, who had to be murdered for the director of the St. Louis Zoo to go over to Congo and start running stuff? He was always in Africa. I'm like, why is this St. Louis Zoo guy got so much cash? What's he hiding? We make a fortune. St. Louis Zeus. So we fly over to Africa on the reg and start messing with their beasts.
Brett
Jack Hannah was on the road a lot.
Brady
Yeah. Because they were recruiting, stealing animals from, you know, trading. No, not trading. Stealing. When they go to Africa, there's no trading. We've learned that they didn't trade a thing with Africa. St. Louis Zoo. What are they trading with Africa? Cardinal hats.
Brett
That's what they do now.
Cory
Marlin wrestling in anaconda.
Brady
Yeah, that happened. And look where the cameraman is. Very painful. Got.
Kevin
Was already tied to a rope.
Brady
What do you mean, got him? There's around the anaconda's head. Oh, marlin's down. Okay. The director of the St. Louis Zoo was crazy, but we had to watch that. That was a rule. If that. If that happened, if this noise. If this happened, I'd walk away from the tv because there's a risk I'd turn it or stand in the way or something.
Cory
Man, this is a hell of a fight here.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
Searching for something solid. No, they didn't. It's heads tied in the water. That's marlin. We can't move fast enough to avoid them. The greatest danger now Jim's in trouble. Suffocation. They're faking that. Jim's being suffocated like the first reality TV show. My dad used to believe this happened, and I'm assuming Brady and Torp did, too.
Brett
Oh, yeah, we bought into it.
Brady
I, at the tender age of five, was like, this is garbage, by the way. Multiplied in water. Get out of the water, you idiots. It's knee deep. This is the type of stuff that would make my dad go get in the other room. Why are they laying in the water with that thing when they could just put it down and leave? And there's marlin face to face with the anaconda. It's dead, by the way. He's got marlin. He's got mar. Does it. It's tied to a rope. Okay. There's better acting in Ed woods than that movie. And you and your dad were probably high five. And my dad wished you were his kid, by the way.
Cory
Get him, Marlon.
Brady
Why can't you just look? That water is ankle deep. They've been laying down in it with an anaconda the whole time. He's got marlin. Well, if you left him alone. And what was the purpose of grabbing him in the first place? This is why he said if it's.
Brett
A absolute emergency, there'd be five guys in there.
Brady
Absolutely. It's because the snake is, A, dead already, and B, they're just play pretending that it's coiling them up. You're not getting out of that.
Cory
There goes Marlon again.
Brady
The director of the St. Louis Zoo isn't skilled enough to unfurl an anaconda in Africa. He's in St. Louis most of the time. Worst thing he's got to deal with is East St. Louis. If he navigates through that, it's the most dangerous.
Cory
That's more dangerous than an anaconda.
Brady
Somebody had to tie a rope to that thing's head before this was shot. And they're playing like these. That's the stupidest thing ever. But I used to watch TV with my dad and do this kind of stuff to this terrible show. You're. You're corp. And you would have hated me going, you guys are idiots for thinking this is a thing. He broke away.
Brett
He got out.
Brady
Yeah, yeah. You. You have the IQ of a small poodle to believe that any of this happened. I don't even believe it's in Africa, to be honest with you. There's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.com Bloomberg's Morning Sickness. It might be somewhere in Nebraska.
Brett
Be in South America.
Brady
No, no, it's in Nebraska.
Cory
They're putting them in a bag now too.
Brady
St. Louis Zoo wasn't pulling that kind of cash or the bag cut Jim's hand. You better hack that thing.
Cory
He's got a big ass knife on him. Why didn't he, like, try to hack that thing up when it's like, killing Marlon?
Brady
Because it's already dead.
Cory
Unbelievable.
Brett
Try not to laugh.
Brady
So this is why moms used to just go do their own thing. And dads would watch TV by themselves. In my house, we watch what I want, and then we got that second tv. I remember sometimes my mom would be watching something dumb. They'd be arguing, and I'd be in my room watching television. My dad would come in the room. What are you doing? Nothing. Just watching some baseball. Yeah. And then I'd hear from my waterbed, like, he's laying down. What's he doing in here? What else is on? Like, dad, turn it. Oh, But I was Watching. Turn it. Your mother's watching something in the other room. And I'd have to turn the channel form in my room, my house.
Cory
I guess we'd follow up to Marlon.
Brett
Perkins with Jacques Cousteau.
Brady
Another fake.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
Yeah. I couldn't. My dad wasn't that much into the sea thing. He. For some reason, Jacques Cousteau was. That's dumb. Like, he was. Suddenly he's me. Suddenly, like, that didn't happen. You can't wrestle a shark like that. Marlon Perkins. That dude was doing it. He believed that because I think deep down he thought someday that would be him. I often have to think back when I was like five. My dad was 30. So he still had dreams and aspirations that two children destroyed and he had to just go on with his construction life. That he probably was his second choice at best. But he probably wanted to be like an outdoor hunts hunter and like running around with Marlon Perkins wrestling anacondas. But he had two kids wreck his life.
Brett
And Marty Stouffer.
Brady
Marty Stoffer was the one that used to pick up bear poop all the time. That's what you got to do. You track them. Can't you just. You gotta see if it's fresh. Really, you do. You can't just kick that. You gotta squish it around in your hands and smell it. Yeah. I'm pretty sure on the bear trail, if you find bear poop, that's enough for me. I don't need to pick it up. Maurice Doffer would. That's why he's an idiot and I'm not. Go. Go watch something else in your room.
Brett
Come on, wise guy.
Brady
Yeah, my dad bought me a TV so I'd stop talking about it. But now we've got Netflix Betrayal, Netflix Beatra. Don't throw that bomb at anybody.
Kevin
Give your horn a tog. I'm watching Sharzy.
Cory
The bigger pet peeve is when you're watching something that you like and the girlfriend says, I don't like this. But she's been paying it, paying no attention the whole time on her phone.
Brady
Yeah.
Cory
And just been bitching about it.
Brady
Talking, complaining, and then like just sitting in there with, you know, and then putting that vibe out that she hates it. Something you like and you gotta sit. And then if you start watching it without her.
Kevin
Are you watching that show without me?
Brady
Yes.
Brett
Our sometimes will get to the point, like the recap. Do you watch the recap?
Brady
I skip the recap sometimes.
Brett
If I've been following it, you know, like the next day it's been a Season away.
Cory
Like, yeah, one thing.
Brett
But like every, you know, episode or whatever, I skip the reason. Like White Orchid in the intro.
Brady
White Orchid's got a lot going on with the past seasons that they're not really making obvious. So it's becoming this whole, like, puzzle. I just. I play Bruno Bear now. I'm like, okay, I'll pay attention to the poor. I'm not that into it, but I don't care if you watch, if you're enjoying yourself, you're like, God, I watched a great show today. I'm like, did you? That's awesome. Tell me about it. Would you watch it again? That's something. But suddenly it's like, if it's like, you know, it's like you're beaten off to an ex girlfriend if you watch a TV show by yourself.
Kevin
We were gonna watch that together. You didn't do that with me.
Brady
Like, no, we can still watch it. I'll watch again. I watch plenty of reruns.
Kevin
It's not the same.
Cory
I could stick it there too.
Kevin
You Netflix betrayed me.
Brady
Okay, I'm sorry. I guess. I don't know.
Kevin
I don't know if I can go on. We should cancel our subscription.
Brady
All right. Guess we can get rid of Netflix. We still have Paramount. This guy says the guy wrestling the anaconda. That was just a clip of what happens in the Obama's bedroom every night. Big Mike gets excited, all right? There's no reason to politicize Marlon Perkins. Obama's not wrestling the anaconda. He can't fight that thing off. Big Mike wants it, Big Mike gets it anyway. Netflix. Betrayal. So my wife was just complaining about this to me the other day. She said, why don't you make love to me like they do in the movies? So I did it. But evidently the movies I watch are not what she meant. Yeah, well, she's not walking, right? That's a good point. Yeah. My dad had all control of the tv. And Keith says, john, in fairness, your dad didn't have two kids wreck his life. Don't be. Don't say that. He had one kid wreck his life and then you showed up and helped out. That's true. One child ruined his life and the other one made life worth living. I would just get in the way every once in a while of the Mutual of Omaha with a little reality check for the old man. It's tough when a 4 year old's like, you believe this? When he's buying it. I still believed in Santa Claus. And I'm watching Mutual of Omaha. Looking at my dad like, are you the. You the dumbest mother alive. You think that. You think that that guy, that old man, is fighting a snake the size of our bed? What? Shout out. Patrick. Marlon Perkins, the director, St. Louis Zoo. He knows what he's doing. So this is like something he deals with in the St. Louis Zoo pretty regularly. Anaconda fights. He's trained. All right, I'm gonna go do four year old stuff in another room and worry about you dropping dead in front of me. From stupid. Jim wandered over to the den of hyenas that no one had ever seen before except the cameraman who set up three cameras in the den. Right. We don't talk about him. He's the brave one. I don't get it. I mentioned it earlier. If you are flying today, you're gonna crash the. My old rule was that if you've seen an air travel incident on TV somewhere in the world, you had three free months of flying without incident. They used to buckle that down. Used to clean it up. The FAA used to clean it up. They'd have a problem, and then, like, no problem. Everything got extra attention for a little while. Now it seems like people are going out of their way to cause trouble. I'm starting to think it might be a conspiracy. Like somebody's doing, like, this is getting done on purpose. Yesterday, Southwest Airlines flight landing at Midway in Chicago. Tires touch the Runway, and then the plane bounces right back up and flies away again because some dude who had been told not to do it several times just drove across the Runway. I have to wonder if some of this is intentional, because even this morning, there's another one. An American Airlines plane had to do something similar. Used to be an airline incident would make it so it's like, all right, all right, mind your P's and Q's. We got a little sloppy there for a second. It's like a fumble in football. A running back fumbles. He gets real, you know, gets that ball up there. I fumbled once. I can't do that. And he fumbles twice. He's out of the game. You button that down. But now another one's gone out. That dude that. That pilot, Sully Sullenberger yesterday, and he needs an award because that Southwest Airlines pilot saved hundreds of lives by having the. I don't know how fast he saw that other plane just start to cross the Runway and realize, I got to bring this bird back up. I got to go out of whatever it is. Flaps have to go up. Yoke. We get speed. We have to do everything again. Like, we're taking off in a matter of, like, two seconds of recognizing. I can't go full reverse. I'm gonna crash.
Cory
And Midway's a tiny airport, too. You gotta move.
Brady
That pilot is heroic, and the video is horrifying. I had one time, a plane at sky harbor, when we were going over, and I remember coming. You know, you basically take the 202 in, you run the river, but I recognize all the freeways. I go, there's a 202. Now that we're. Now we're on the 101. There's that, and you cross over, and right about where Sloan park is, where the Cub Stadium is. Right before you get into Tempe and start seeing the buildings in the lake, I'm like, we're pretty high still. I've flown this enough to know we're up too high. And then we start dropping real fast. And we get to the 143, and I'm like, no, I've flown this. We're way high. We're still. We're gonna have to throw this bird onto the Earth in a second. And we're too high. And we get real close to the ground and then take off again. And I'm like, what in the world is going on? And everybody. I was telling the guy next to me, I'm like, that was weird. We were. We were landing. Like, I've take. I've live here. I've flown into Phoenix a billion times. We were landing and flew around for 15 minutes, did it again, landed, get out. And I was behind the pilots. And I'm like, what was that? He goes, I didn't like it. Like, you didn't what? You don't like the approach? Oh, isn't that your fault? Isn't like. Shouldn't you say, I made a mistake? I didn't like. It is like, they didn't move the Runway on you. Like, it's always in the same place. I didn't like. I didn't like what I was doing.
Brett
Get out of here. Thanks for flying.
Brady
Quit asking so many questions, you prick.
Cory
I'm going to the bar.
Brady
Yeah, I have too many questions. Like what? What happened there, chief? Hey, Capping. I remember as I was getting on the plane, he was right in front of me. Hey, quick question for us. Would have been nice for you to pop up on the screen and tell us how come we didn't land that time. How close were we to die in. You weren't. I didn't like what I was doing. I was messing around playing Bruno Barrett. I kind of got lost on Bruno Bear for a second. I realized we were way too high. I'm like, I told you we were too high. I'm in row 22. But that dude yesterday for Southwest Airlines. Somebody needs accommodations. And I don't know what that dude was thinking driving across the Runway while that was happening, but, my God, his.
Brett
Boss was breathing down his neck. We gotta get out of here.
Cory
Yeah, that's exactly what happened.
Brady
Really? The boss can make you cross in front of a 737? Let's go. Yeah, it's green. What do you think I'm paying you for? Hurry up. You can make it. You look both ways. That's an old rule, right? You're in your tiny plane and you look both ways. If I'm in a smart car and I'm getting out in a bunch of semis are going by, I'm extra diligent about not going. I better not. I better wait this one out. That plane looks real close. And they. They come up on you quick. Get something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. You know, going 200 miles an hour. No. And somebody in the passenger sales. Hurry up. Yeah.
Brett
Moving at. You know how fast. Yeah, it goes pretty.
Brady
You think that there was somebody in the passenger seat nagging him and he goes, fine, I'll go.
Cory
I think his wife.
Brady
Yeah.
Cory
Christ. I'm just going. If they hit us, fine.
Brady
She probably brought up.
Kevin
You know, I. I saw that you've been watching that show Sex life on Netflix without me. Is there a reason that you're betraying me?
Brady
Oh, Christ. I'm gonna this thing right on the 37. I'm gonna kill a couple hundred people. Get rid of her.
Kevin
That's a Netflix betrayal. You know, sweet relief.
Brady
Sorry. 147 passengers on that plane. I had to do it. She brought up something called Netflix betrayal. I don't want to live like this.
Cory
Half the guys on the plane would understand.
Kevin
We get it.
Brady
We get it. No problem. It was worth sacrificing my life. I know. I was going to land and come home and deal with Netflix betrayal as well.
Kevin
So while you're out on the road in San Antonio, did you Netflix without me?
Brady
Yeah, I watched a couple of shows and more. Hulu. I was a new season of Shoresy. I watched first three.
Kevin
You watched the first threes? I love Shoresy. These business trips with these providers.
Brady
I will never Netflix again. We're Gonna have, like, facilities opening up in Wickenburg for dudes who have streaming addictions. I can't. I can't stream. I don't. I stream without her. I stream with her. I'm just always streaming cereal. I got a problem. You're addicted to watching shows without your wife. Yeah, I know. I have that huge problem of wanting to enjoy a program. I don't know why I'm doing this. What you need is someone sitting next to you asking questions about who all these people are within three to five seconds of the show starting. Now, we all know you've watched just as much as her, and you're unaware of who these characters are yet, too, but she feels the need to ask who they are immediately, and that is love. Oh, God.
Kevin
What'S that guy?
Brady
I've watched as much as you. I've watched the exact same amount as you. I think it's a new character they haven't introduced yet.
Kevin
Was he in the last episode? Wasn't that the guy? Wasn't he in an old episode of Law and Order?
Brady
Probably. Everyone's been in Law. Shut up.
Kevin
I'm gonna look him up on IMDb.
Brady
Good.
Kevin
Oh, that's who that is.
Brady
What? Just out of the blue and starts.
Cory
Putting the phone in front of your.
Brady
Face while you're watching?
Kevin
Remember we watched him. He was in that Wild Links movie.
Brady
No, I don't remember that.
Kevin
Maybe I watched that without you.
Brady
What?
Kevin
Betrayal?
Brady
You cheating whore. I'm taking that remote control away from you before you give it herpes. Silly. The whole world's gone mad. Maybe I'd rather live with a cannibal than Netflix. Betrayal being something guys have to talk about.
Kevin
We need to talk. You're watching too many shows without me, and I feel like we're.
Brady
We're not connecting anymore. Oh, sorry.
Kevin
New Bridgerton's on season three.
Brady
Oh, Christ, I gotta sit through this. It's the new antiquing.
Kevin
You always want to watch football on Sunday. Why don't you want to do anything with me?
Brady
You want the honest answer?
Kevin
Well, I always want you to be.
Brady
Honest with me because everything you do is kind of lame.
Cory
Oh, so that's all I am?
Kevin
That's all I am, is sex?
Brady
Yeah. What did you. What did you think? I enjoy Bridgerton. You think I liked it? Oh, you're crazy. I do that for blowjobs. I sit through Bridgerton so you come to me happy. I'm not doing that for myself.
Kevin
You didn't enjoy any of it? The romance?
Brady
No, frankly, I watched Bridgerton and Thought, this can't happen. They wouldn't have allowed a black guy in that house back then. But I can't bring that up to you because logic is not something that applies here.
Kevin
It's reimagining the whole time.
Brady
Right. Kind of offensive to black people, I think, to reimagine it like what it could have been like for them instead of, you know, that guy's kind of a higher up in the castle. I don't think that was going on. He's banging white women. I know for sure that wasn't going on, at least not acceptably. This show's kind of offensive.
Cory
People are asking, are we allowed to watch porn without them?
Brady
Well, I mean, if they want to watch.
Cory
Or is that pornhub and cheating?
Brady
Pornhub.
Kevin
Did you watch the latest Johnny Sins video without me?
Brett
Yeah, I don't think you run into that too often.
Brady
No, I don't think.
Kevin
You go ahead and watch that, you pervert.
Brady
All right. You watch Bridgerton, you pervert. It's the same thing. One is mom porn and one is real porn. I prefer the Oreo. You like the Hydrox. It's not a big deal. It's 727. What do you got there, Bird on the big board of Musical Tree.
Cory
Wake Up Song brought to you by of course, our friends over at Action Ride Shop. And now time to go check out the brand new store right there on McDowell and Power Row. Especially if you're hitting the Hawes trailhead. So head on over there. They're open now. Get the bike service, pick up a new bike. Whatever you need bike wise is going to be over there. And if you need bike stuff in the Mesa area a little farther west, you need the snow stuff. They're going to take care of you at the original store over on Gilbert Road in Southern.
Brady
Go to actionrideshop.com I think we all need to go down to 7th Avenue today over in the Melrose district and just plop down one of the bars and do like a Bill Brasky for all the lesbians at the bar. Just every once in a while just raise our beers and go to Diana Taurasi. Watch the tears flow. We're getting through the day as best we can now that the goat is no longer on the. You know what I'll. I'll miss about her the most? I'm sorry to bring it back, guys. It's just, it's. It's the cloud. It's the cloud over the city.
Cory
Brett bringing me back in.
Brady
It's the cloud. Over the town. It's undeniably present. I'm gonna miss her. 33 shooting average is what I'm gonna miss. That's. Last year. She was hitting three out of every 10 shots. I mean, I can remember. She's the Goat. That's why. She's the Goat. You hit a third of your shots last year. I mean, that's. Who else is doing that? Three out of 10 on the reg. I mean, consistently. Three for 10. That's. She's a Goat. She's the Goat. Shooting percentage was ridiculous. It was absolutely insane. 3 out of 10. It's just insane to put that number.
Brett
That includes layups, right?
Brady
Includes all her. All her shots from the field. Brady. Three for ten was her percentage. It's ridiculous. She's the Goat. I'm sorry. We're all dealing with it. I know I've got a whole groupie out there that are feeling the same way as me. So we're kind of all bonding over this. And the good news is, at least it takes our mind off of politics or crazy stuff as we can all kind of sit back and tell stories today. Of all the great moments she gave this city from championships that we all remember. She hit that one shot defense. Remember the defensive play. She. Who is that? You know, Come on. I don't even. I don't have to. Oh, my God. I remember that. I don't have to say the names, you guys. It's all burned into our brains and our memories. The Goat.
Cory
I need to talk to Susie and see if we can get some. Some help around here. You know what I mean?
Brady
Yeah. You know what? They should bring us a counselor on for all of us. Because, I mean, this means so much to the city. We should name more streets after her, I think.
Cory
All right, on the list we got Curtis Blow basketball. Obviously Static X is cannibal kill Switch. Engage all that remains. Type O negative. Aerosmith Sleep theory, Mud Vein. Joe Esposito, you're the best for the Goat. The who? Who are you for?
Brady
Tarasi. All right, that's too far.
Cory
Kind of like that one.
Brady
We know who she is. Let's not act like we're not familiar.
Cory
The revolting Cox and Exodus.
Brady
Nobody put Throat goat up there. I thought the word goat would be involved. Goat whore's not up there.
Cory
No.
Brady
Curtis blows. Basketball is pretty interesting. I don't know if I want to sit through. It's longer.
Cory
That's a long song, too.
Brady
But I do like the best around from Joe Esposito.
Cory
Okay.
Brady
I think we'll knock that out of the yard for the goat. Ah, it's gonna that Lou Gehrig speech he's gonna give today. I consider myself south. Tough to be Beep. The lock is last band of all on earth. And I'm gonna be there in tears of me flowing. Just. You're not gonna be able to stop the tears. Hopefully it's Kleenex night when they bring that. Cause they won't do it at a Mercury game. They want people to see it. So she'll do her retirement speech at a Sun's game.
Cory
That's tonight.
Brady
I imagine she'll be standing up waving tonight. And before it's all over, they'll have some sort of a presentation. Maybe after a game or something like that.
Cory
Maybe she'll join you guys in the rah rah room too.
Brady
Yeah, that's the celebration. Rah rah.
Brett
If they were smart, they'd bring her out with the red panda.
Brady
Oh, they make the panda juggle plates on her head. Like, you want to talk about the goat? YouTube. The red panda. That's the greatest thing that happens in arenas nowadays. Twice a year I get to see the red panda. Halftime. I've run, I'm not kidding run from where I've been when I found out that tonight's halftime entertainment. The red Panda. Jesus Christ. Put your hot dog down. Let's go back to the seat. The red panda is amazing. That and those Russians that juggle. That lady on that wobbly board, they're tossing her up to the gondola on this.
Brett
It's amazing.
Brady
On this gummy stick. It's crazy. But yeah, juggle up some tarasi. Get her balancing plates on her melon. The dude that stands on multiple Swiss balls, have you seen him? Oh, yeah, he stands, there's a ball. He gets on top of it and he's walking. I'm like, that's pretty neat. He can stand on the ball. And then he puts another ball on top of that ball and he gets on it. I'm like, all right, that's something I didn't expect. Then a third ball with a roller in between the two. And he's up on top of that third one. I'm like, I don't even know how you practice that. There he is just. There's some falls wobbling around on the practice. But then to be confident enough going, I never fall anymore. I'm going to take this to the arenas. And the audition would be like, I stand on balls. I'm like, okay, go ahead. And then at the end, you're just like, wow. I've never seen anything like that. The athleticism in the halftime shows has gotten pretty impressive, but, I mean, still can't mask how amazing it is to have Diana Taurasi. She should have just gone and played in the NBA. She's so great. She could have made that transition real easily, I think. Take her 33% shooting average into the NBA, knock that down to about 4%. Still the goat. Still the goat. It's Joe Esposito, everybody. It's for you, Diana. We're going to name more streets after you. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: February 26, 2025 Title: Cannibal Neighbor Reacts/Emails - New Term Stream Cheating For Watching Shows Without Your Spouse - Remembering One TV Households And The Bad Shows We Watched - Another Near Flying Mishap On Chicago Runway
The episode kicks off with Dick Toledo promoting a FanDuel bonus, which the hosts promptly skip to dive into their regular banter. Brady humorously laments about putting someone in jail as an old method of treatment, quickly shifting the conversation to a mysterious new smell in their vicinity. The hosts joke about the possibility of an electrical fire and speculate whether Dick Toledo might be cooking something unusual in his place.
Notable Quote:
The central discussion revolves around the hypothetical scenario of having a cannibal as a neighbor versus a family with multiple kids. Brady introduces Justin Scudella's controversial idea of housing child molesters with cannibals in prisons to prevent cannibals from being released. This sparks a heated debate among the hosts about societal changes, the impact of the internet, and the standards that once marginalized fringe groups more effectively.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
The conversation shifts to the emerging term "stream cheating," which refers to the act of watching TV shows or streaming content without one's spouse, considered a betrayal by some. The hosts delve into this modern relationship dilemma, discussing how streaming alone can create rifts between couples, contrasting it with past experiences of limited television options where viewing was a shared activity.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
The hosts reminisce about the days when households had only one television, leading to shared viewing experiences and fewer conflicts over programming. They critique various old TV shows, expressing disdain for their quality and production values. The conversation also touches on the changing landscape of television, where content is more diverse but not necessarily better.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
In the latter part of the episode, the discussion pivots to aviation incidents, specifically recent runway mishaps in Chicago. Brady narrates a harrowing experience of a plane that almost crashed due to pilot error and distracted flying. He draws parallels between past and present aviation safety standards, expressing concern over the apparent increase in intentional disruptions.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
The episode concludes with the hosts winding down their discussions, touching on various lighter topics like halftime shows and favorite athletes. They continue their trademark humor, poking fun at sports performances and entertainment segments.
Notable Quotes:
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of humorous banter, societal commentary, and personal anecdotes. From debating the merits of unconventional neighbors to dissecting modern relationship challenges posed by streaming habits, the hosts engage listeners with their distinctive comedic style. Additionally, their critique of past and present television showcases provides insightful reflections on how media consumption has evolved. The episode wraps up with an engaging discussion on aviation safety, leaving listeners entertained and thought-provoking.
Final Thought: Whether you're navigating the complexities of modern streaming habits or reminiscing about the golden days of one TV households, this episode provides a hearty dose of humor and relatable conversations that resonate with a broad audience.