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It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Another satisfied listener called TV's Doug Hopkins and sold her home for cash. She reached out. Her name's Ashley, and Doug wants to make it simple. Buy your house for cash as is. You don't have to do anything. Just like Ashley, no strings attached. If he moves that price, you get $5,000. Want to sell that place? Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing hopkins. 1-800-sale now you know when you're looking for your fix comedy here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge Improv. Downtown in cityscape, you've got stand up live and east side. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe Improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests and you can even grab some food and drink. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to desertridgeimprov.com standuplive.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Walker told me I had aids, thank you very much. You caught me watching Caddyshack there at the beginning of that story, but it worked out perfectly. Let's go while we're young. I was flipping through a clip and I had my. I was turned up. It's enter is the word we're looking for right now for the 6 o' clock hour, 7 o'. Clock. Got another one for you every hour. Give you another chance for you to enter our contest to head on up to Vegas and watch Metallica in fear. Got an email from a guy who said I tore his retina on Thursday night. He's going through the exact same thing I was going through. He's texting me right now. And he goes, you're not kidding. It's face down for five days like minimum brother. And it's. It's still not gone. I've got this bubble in my eye. Oh, and guess what, dummy did this guy. You get two drops. A pink top bottle and a brown top bottle. And the brown top is antibiotics and the pink top is a prednilisone. And so, you know, you do one a day or one four times a day. You do it One drop from each one four times a day the first week. Then you get rid of the antibiotic and then. And then it's just the pred from there on. Well, I got my bottle caps on the wrong one. Switched them. I swapped them. You give a blind man drops because I got this thing in my eye. So I started having headaches and all this weird stuff. I'm like, man, what's going on? Don't. I can't let this get bad again. I looked at them and I went. And kind of magnifying glass, like, what is. What am I doing? I'm like, oh man. I've been skipping the good meds for a week and dropping more antibiotics in my eyes. I don't need. Because for some reason I put the caps on the wrong thing. It's a good thing I didn't throw them out either, because I should. I've been like, I don't want to do this anymore. I threw out the. I would have thrown out the wrong one. Good news is, all is good, but it's still really annoying. And that gas bubble is down to its last little. It's like a rogue contact now just floating around my eye. And it. And it magnifies everything. And every light is glare and you an acid or something getting tracers and stuff, tons of that. And then there's floaties because their eyes have been injured and oh, I thought there was a bat in the house. Floaty went by. Get the huge. I'm swinging at him and I'm like. But you know, again, for anybody out there is not taking advantage of Dr. J. Schwartz complimentary consultation. Do it just for. Just for the sake of making sure everything's healthy. This dude Ryan who emailed in it. Trust us, it's common too. That's the worst part. This guy says after watching the. Oh, I was. I was with this guy. I was binge watching that war show that CNN's putting on this weekend. It's good. Have you seen it? No. Oh, yeah. It's non stop. It's just 24 hour coverage. It's a great show. You can't. You can't really lose track of anything either because they repeat a lot of like they go back and do a lot of exposition. So if you miss an hour, don't worry about it. This war thing, there's commercials and like turn on tonight and catch right up. Oh yeah, you shouldn't have any trouble catching up. Perfect. Yeah. If you need anything, text me. I'll give you the basics. But this war thing They've put on. And you know what's funny? There's a lot of competing shows, too. Fox has one going on right now. It's not called war. It's called awesome. And they're super in there. And they're running this war thing too. And then MSNBC says, oh, God, the world's so sad. Emotions and Women is what it's called. And they do the same exact coverage, but it's from the point of view of an emotional woman. And it's very hard to watch. That one's a tough one. But if you're gonna watch any of them, binge, watch the CNN one. Because it's both a little bit rah, rah, rah and a little bit we're sad and emotional about this, and it's kind of. It pulls you both directions. But I was binge watching that too. And this guy says, hey, I was binge watching the war. Anything with advertising to me is not real. There's a lot of that going on. Why don't we just ask BB Net and Yahoo where the hell Nancy Guthrie is? These guys seem to be able to find anyone. Sure, they might bomb her, but at least we' where she was. That's a great point. We found the ayatollah in a hiding spot, and 48 of his friends killed them all. We can't find Nancy Guthrie in Tussaud. How'd they get that gathering to happen? They weren't in one place that wasn't, like. It wasn't like, a tabletop of 48. When they listed the 48, I'm like, wow, that was all a bunch of. Not all 48. I mean, a couple of dudes were, like, having Hamas together. What do they eat? I don't know what it is. Isn't that a delicious snack? Hummus. Is that what they eat? No, they're responsible for hummus. That's right. And they're eating some sort of goat meat and stuff. Brady would eat it. That dump he goes into now and again. Hala, hala, ha. A lot of K's and H's next to each other in their meals. Hello, Meats. They didn't get them all in one hit. They killed 47 dudes in, like, Independence. But they knew where all of them were. We can't find Nancy Guthrie. We're not looking that hard because it did not take them long to go. He's right there. I got 47 different addresses. And they're all right. By the way, we know where everybody is. If Nancy Guthrie controlled some Oil. We'd know exactly where she was if she was in like. If Nancy Guthrie's thing in Tucson was to make sure the straits of Hormuz were flowing, we'd know where she was. So true. Guy said. John, I liked your analogy of the Iran war being like a childhood bully. So there was this kid who tormented my younger sister and even my younger brother. He was an older, bigger kid. They were younger and smaller than me. I could never catch this kid though. He was such a fast little prick. So he'd pick on his brother and sister and the big brother would try to. But he couldn't catch him. Said. So I started taking them and picking them up from school because of this guy. And eventually we moved away. Fast forward to about 20 years ago. I follow my hometown's Facebook page. This dude was walking on railroad tracks. Something I myself used to do in my youth all the time, except for he was coming home from a bar and he got unalived by a train. Knocked him down. Just like in Stand By Me. I sent the link to my sister and all I got back was a smiley face. We all kind of like when our personal Iran finally eats it. Tormenting for years, ending non stop. Yeah. Highly recommend. There's not a lot to binge right now. There's a couple of good shows. Shrinking is good. You can get on that. But this, this new thing they put out over the weekend called war. Unimaginably entertaining. You gotta put up a lot of ads because it's, it's the time when the news really enjoys and they're gonna, you know their ad dollar. You're paying extra right now for FOX and CNN because there's a lot of eyes on the news. They love it. CNN couldn't. I don't even know how they did this. They flew all their. Their stars. They're all in TEV now. And they don't send makeup people. So that Erin Burnett, who's not attractive to begin with, is standing on a balcony with no makeup. And that's not something she should be doing ever. Bold. And she's telling everybody how scary Israel is and how bad it is right now. And what'd you fly there for? It's not that scary. This is for entertainment purposes only. She's scaring them out. Maybe that's a pretty good picture of her too. You should see her on there. Now Anderson's gonna be there and they're all. They all get a room. Like, how do you even check into a hotel right now and be like, hi, we're going up and gonna stand on one of your balconies and film rockets. Well, welcome. Welcome to Israel. Very appreciative of you coming here, filming the rockets that are killing our people. Yeah, we care about you, but first we care about getting the shot. I need my pseudo military vest. Oh, yeah, gotta have that because you know why? Journalist vest. Well, they put that on because it says media and you're not allowed to shoot those. That' against some sort of convention. Oh, yeah, I'm sure they stick with that rule. They do. Well, you notice they're never really down in the middle. Exactly. They're always up on a pretty nice balcony. I mean, whatever hotel CNN's got its star staying in in the daytime if there weren't bombs, it's a hell of a view. This is not like a $40 night room. It's not the El Cortez in Vegas. It's for using Israeli Express. You get the upgrade, you get the balcony. It's very nice. You have beautiful shots of rockets and the ocean. Well, I definitely want to do some time on the beach when I have a day off. I'm only working six of seven days. Do you think they put the banner on the hotels like super bowl teams? CNN on this one. Msnbc, home of coverage. Rockets killing our people. From cnn. Welcome cnn. There you have free continental breakfast. Well, not quite free. Well, it is free for me, you know. You're not going to pay a check. What is it? What do you think? It's bagels. Do you have English muffins? What are you. Why you fly here? You're a news person, you should know. Anyway, yeah, I was watching this thing and man, the commercial breaks are long because they're selling the hell out of this thing. But it's great. I like what this guy's doing. I'm getting emails from this guy. I don't know who it is, but it says. Well, I do know who it is. I'm gonna go with. I'm gonna run with this. I'm gonna play it in character. It says, dear John, the Jews. That's how it starts. It's time we said the awful part out loud. It's time to just eliminate Israel. A lot of people don't like to hear what I'm saying. And if they've got a problem with it, they can take it up with me. My name is Deandre Ayton, center for the Los Angeles Lakers. I read that and I laughed for half an hour. And then about four emails later it says, hey, John, what do you get when you cross a Mexican in a Polack. A chain link fence covered in graffiti. Oh, I'm racist. Well, I'm right here. And my name is deandre Ayton of the Los Angeles Lakers. Guy's a Laker fan. Doesn't like DeAndre, says, hey, John, you know what I've always said, and I'm not afraid to say it again? The only good ayatollah is a dead one and the only good Iranian is one drowning. Oh, are the pussies out there screaming at me? Well, let me tell you this. Holmberg didn't say it. It was me. Deandre Ayton of the Los Angeles Lakers. He's been pretty busy today. He was. Wow. I didn't know he listened, man. And I'm assuming this is the same guy. Says Holmberg. I've heard it all. I've heard all I need to hear from UTA Benga this morning. Deandre Ayton is driving me crazy. It's time we went back to the days of America being fantastic. Eliminate all blacks from sports. I want no more of this. You got a problem with that? My name is Michael Bidwell and I own the Arizona Cardinals. Take it up with me. I like this. Trying to get other people canceled through emails that I will gladly read on this radio station. I don't know if those are accurate or if those are actually the people they say they are. Don't take it up with me. Take it up with them. Fantastic loophole in that one. Love it. This one says, for mongering parasite news anchors from America, we've been having wet dreams since Friday. They can act like they don't like it, but they do. Every night since Iran bombing began, these people are secretly celebrating behind closed doors like it's 1999. It's disgusting and so are they. Philip, you couldn't be more right. And I've said this for years, if there's a commercial break, it is for entertainment. That's all. Because they have to sell that to someone. If they cared about the information and they cared about anything else. The way news used to be, which was a losing endeavor for networks. They never made money on news. Back in the day, it was a losing area of NBC, CBS and abc. They didn't make money. They weren't designed to make money. Well, it's now the NBA's time to shine. For us Suns fans, that means fast breaks and buzzer beaters are front and center. It's Dick Toledo for underdog, the app where picking the NBA can score. You 5,000 times your money. And playing on Underdog is so easy. Just pick if players will go higher or lower on their stats. And here's a sneaky good play I like. Take Grayson Allen higher on three point attempts and Mark Williams higher on rebounds. But whatever the stat line you like, Underdog's got it. So play on Underdog with me and download the app today and use promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries. When you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for some games, 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Vir and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-MY-RESET or 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org Arizona 1-800-Next Step 1-800-639-8783 or text Next Step to 53342 New York. Call the 24.7Hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hope NY to 467-369. It's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my friends@lifted trucks.com youm've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how lifted Trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athletes. It's for all of you. Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available, head on over to Lifted Trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for over 30 years. 10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong. Liftedtrucks.com work hard, play hard, drive harder. Holmberg's Morning Sickness Then they made it networks all based on that and they started to sell DSW shoe ads. And that's when you realize we've got to be more, we got to be flashier than the other guy or we won't get the advertising guys. Everything you see on the news is for entertainment purposes first. That's why they stand on balconies with cameras and film rockets. That's why they like the explosions. That's why you've seen that drone fly into a building and it's cool because we're nowhere near it. I didn't know drones were as big as that. You've seen the one that hits the building? Yeah, and it's a dude on a balcony filming it goes right over. And then. That's why they want those. That footage means money to them. There's nothing to do with them caring about how this ends or lives of soldiers or us or anything else. They just added two units per hour. I'm gonna be there for a month. Yeah. We were running probably every 44 minutes. We're running 16 minutes of commercials, but we can bump that to 18 or 19. We can get sponsors for this war. And they're doing it. The news has two direct flights every day, in and out, no problem. No issues at all. You're not dealing with weather. I mean, who's flying into Tel Aviv right now? They did a thing about how two people were from Gilbert are stuck in Dubai. They're not letting him go. News got there. We got news coming. I got dudes like, who weren't there. He was there in Florida. Or they're. Wolf made it all the way over there. Yeah. Whoever the dude was down in Tucson who had couldn't pack his camera up enough, got a flight from Tucson to Miami to Dubai in like eight minutes. Meanwhile, there's a couple in Gilbert that have to hold up in the Fairmont because they can't get a flight out. The airport's not letting anybody go. But, boy, you can get Fox, cnn, and MSNBC over there in a lickety split. I'm sorry, Ms. Now. Ms. Now. Forgot the emotional one. Yeah. The estrogen news. Yeah. I like to watch Ms. Now every once in a while. To go, I wonder what the take lesbians have on this is. I wonder how the lesbian community feels about this war. I bet you they're mad because you know why they're always mad. You can't have a birthday party for a lesbian and she doesn't start yelling at you. It's two topics. It's the war and the women's hockey. Oh, yeah, they love that. And how they're mad about that, too. They're not mad that women. They're mad that the men celebrated and went to the White House and then. But they're. They're mad that the women's team didn't get invited to the White House, that they wouldn't go to. I heard watching Ms. Now. And they're like, can you believe that Donald Trump didn't even invite the woman's team? Well, they said they weren't going to go and they were going to make a big stink of it. Yeah, but they should have still invited him. I don't think you'd do that. I don't think Brett? Yeah. Why Brett's screaming at me. I'm like, I don't know. One thing I know is in July, I'm never going to your birthday party. I'm like, oh, and my birthday party comes around, and Brett's like, why don't you invite me? And they're wait, you can't be mad at both. You can't do that. Typical broads. Lesbians are getting mad at a lot. Ms. Now is hilarious. They're angry at everything. They're angry at all of it. But, yeah, the gold medal guys were on Saturday Night Live this weekend, and then they brought the girls out and everybody went nuts. Crazy. They're like, I watched Megan Rapinoe. Have you seen her? No. She got a new deal. Still around. Yeah. She was on a podcast. It's very funny. And the lesbian news was real excited about it, and the other side was real mad about it. And I live somewhere in the middle where I was kind of like, she's making a point, but she's dressed like a moron and she's got a little ski cap on. She looks like Martin Short when he played the elf in that Santa Claus movie. Was it? And she's like, to the men's hockey team. And she's trying to be like, point. I think she's on the Sue Bird show. I think they. They scissor, like. Like, legally, officially. Yeah, that's her scissor partner. They're unioned. Yeah, They've got rings on. And so she sat down and she was talking on that podcast about how the men's hockey team. She goes, you win it, and it's amazing. And then you co opt all of it to this clown. And then she turns her little elfin head towards the camera with her ski cap, kind of like a reservoir tip of a condom, and looks at the camera and goes, you look like a clown. And I just started laughing, and I'm like, from the clown. You can't tell people how they look dressed like that. You look like the cartoon drawing in the Radiohead video for okay computer. You can't do that. Sounded like a Sebastian Maniscalco delivery. Like a clown going on with these people. She kind of did it that way, but it's funny because her outfit is exactly how you dress somebody if you were, like, trying to make them look silly. And she turns right to the camera. You look like a clown. Yeah. Well, that's weird. Find a picture of it, Brett. I'm looking. Oh, this guy just said, I found a letter was fired to me. Accidentally. I believe this was meant to go to the commissioner. It says, dear Commission, I've been thinking it's high time we address the elephant on the field. These black players with unnatural speed and strength. It's just not fair to the rest of us regular folks back in the good old days. Football is a gentleman's game. Pasty white guys and leather helmets and tea between plays. The super athletes are ruining this. Let's ban them immediately. Signed, Michael Bidwell. Yeah, I think that actually is a misfire. I sure hope he doesn't get in trouble for that. Yeah, there's. There's her. Look at her. She looks like a crazy person. Like you wouldn't give that person money. She calls him clowns for having a phone call after they won the gold medal with President him. You look like a clown. If you see how she's dressed when she says it, you're like, all right, Megan Manis. You look like a clown. We got company. I can't unear that these people. You look like a clown. Anyway. And then last night. Boy, am I glad. Google this Celsius drink. Supergirl Surf. I know you're a lot typing. Supergirl Surf Festival commercial. So last night, when I stopped binging war on CNN and Fox. Great show. I went over and I'm just flipping through the thing and it said it was like seven or eight at night, said Surfer Girl Surf Festival. And I'm like, oh, Supergirl. Sorry. Supergirl Surf Festival. There you go. Like you knew I heard it. Yeah. All right. There you go. Now you're getting it right. That's it. Come on. Supergirl Surf Festival. And then I flip over that Celsius. No, no, no. I'm telling the story here, chief. Don't jump ahead. Supergirl Surf Festival. And then in the middle of it, you know, they're showing these girls surfing. And I noticed two things. The girls that wear surf pants, like shorts. I don't know what good surfing is. And bad everything looked. As long as you don't fall off, it pretty much looks the same. Evidently have to rip these turns a little tighter. And then you get a thing called spray and you get a night. And so the. I guess you can be better than someone else. I have. I don't have the nuance. But in the middle, they run this commercial. You want a commercial? Yeah. Put the word commercial at the end of that and it's for Celsius. No. Oh, the girls in thongs. Better, better scores. If they wear a thong, what they're doing is. But I am so glad that this commercial, first for Celsius didn't exist when I was a teenager, or I'd have dehydrated like spongebob on land. There is. I don't even think you're allowed to show some of the stuff that was in the spot. It's. It's got to be the top one. It's just a commercial. No. Yeah, that's a 15. No, it's. It's a. It's a minute long. Go up 50. I'm at the top. Oh, that's tough. And roll. Roll. The thing. It's the. The spot is. I looked it up, so it's not. This shouldn't be this hard. Just. Just put Celsius commercial. Supergirl Surf Festival. I. I swear to God it is. If I was a teenager when this came out, every bit of my bodily fluids would have been drained out. And I. I'm. I feel so good that I didn't, because I used. I found that. How are you struggling to find this? I don't know. I'm on videos I'm seeing, but I swear to you, there is a girl in a yellow thong that's snorkeling in this thing. It would have broke the pause button on my old vcr. It's unbelievable. If you can find the commercial, find it. Just. Brett can't. But it isn't this hard. I'll find out if I can find it. I can't put it up on the screen, though. Just. It is so. Geez. Just put Celsius commercial in there. There. It's so incredibly hot. There you go. Boom. That might be it. Just click that. It might be the one. I swear to you, it's. It's. It's better than pornhub. You don't need a. That's not it. That's certainly not it. Although you can probably jerk off with that, too. No. Either way, you'll find it. We don't need to see it, but. Yeah, it is unreal. So I'm. I'm not a surfer fan, but I don't know what. Because I don't know what it is to do to be good at it. But let me tell you, the girls in thong surfing, their scores were astronomically higher than the girls in shorts. It comes down to picking the right wave. No, it comes down to, are you on your period or not? Because the girls on their period have to wear the big bulky pants, and the ones who aren't have. Can wear the thongs and surf in them, and they get. They're scoring better. It's just a fact. I watched seven of them. I thought the best one. One, if I was just going off technique, I thought for sure the best one was this girl who had a pair of shorts down to her knees, and she's like, 5.5.4. And then a thong girl went up there, and I thought she stumbled a little, and she didn't. It didn't look as cool, but her ass was astronomical. Eight. Nine. She scored a 500. And I'm like, how is that a thing? These girls are. I mean, their bodies are incredible. But the ones in shorts. Yeah, there was one. Yeah. They don't score as high, and the ones in thongs just win. But, yeah, you got to watch the Celsius commercial. If you can find the Celsius commercial. It's. It'll. It'll. It kills you. I found it right away. Brett just put in, we gotta show Brady because he'll lose it. Celsius commercial surfing. Oh, that's what I have. Yeah, there it is. That's the one. The song will even bother you. Wait till you see the girl in the yellow song. Big screen. That brat. Let's not screw around with this thumbnail. Oh, the arrows. There you go. Look at this. That. Did you see that? Oh, yeah. Her vagina shows. Oh, yeah. Let's go back. Yeah, and pause it right about. Wait. That one's hot, too. That's hot. Here it comes. Here we go. Right there. Oh, perfect. Stop. Look at that. Can you scoot it ahead just a touch? Look at that. That's not human. That. That's got to be an AI. But, yeah. So I'm just sitting there, minding my own business. Look at that flipper. I'm telling you right now, boys, I just realized that was a flipper. I thought it was a seal following her ass. That's a. Oh, my God. Look at that. You can't show that on tv. But they did during some sort of weird surf thing because they didn't feel like watching the SAG Awards. I mean, there's labia in that shot. That cameraman nailed it. He needs an award. And, Addie, if I was 15, I didn't never come out of my room. No, not with that. Not with that on tv. It's John Holmberg here for Life Changer Loans. Whether you're buying a home, trying to refinance or improve things financially, you got to focus on one thing. Clarity. You don't have to do it the old way. Life Changer Loan is here to help. Call My friend Shane o' Grady at Life Changer Loan and see if it's for you. Good credit, good with money. There is more than just the old fashioned bank loan. And if you want to see what's possible financially in your life that's different than what you're doing now, start@lifechangerloan.com Life Changer Loan. It's not magic. It's just math. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips replaced because I was an absolute disaster before my surgeries. I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. It's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you. You love the core institute.com Holg's Morning Sickness. Oh, I was watching that last night and I'm like, I. I went back and watched the commercial about 11 times. Didn't care about surfing, pause and toss type stuff. Oh, it was pause and toss. All right. Switch it forward. Just a. Take a picture of that. That to scooch it up a little bit. Well, you got it on your computer. Brady. Look at it. And then her. Oh, look a little more right before it cuts away. Look at it. It just gets better with each frame. Reminded me of being a teen boy and finding that Pepsi commercial with what turned out to be Selma Hayek or not Salma Hayek. What's her name? No, no, no, the other one. It was the girl from Modern. Sophia. Virginia. Sofia. Viagra. Yeah, that's. It was pretty awesome. Great stuff. There you go. Look at that. Yeah, just. Can you loop that for me? Just leave that on the screen all morning. There it is. Oh, Brett's making her bounce around. Oh, it's incredible. Celsius commercial surfing. And then the girl in the white is spectacular. Look at that thing. It's just girls drinking Celsius. And for the ladies, there's a lot of good looking dudes in it too. And I know with the heated rivalry thing going as big as it is, Shakes dig twinks in good shape. That's what this world's teaching me. Ladies. Don't want anything. Back to the bombing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I turned it back to War on cnn. War. Cnn. We'll be right back. And I don't think there's much better in this world now at all. And I don't know that they're any good. I'd never. I don't know that I would use them. But if you haven't seen the commercials for Jungle Law, you. Unbelievable how they're getting away with this one. It's phenomenal. Dude walks up to a lady at work. Sorry about it. We can't have sex anymore. My wife found out. But you said, I don't know about that. And he points to someone else and goes, fire her. Which means he had that conversation with people around. We can't be having sex anymore. My wife just found out about it. That's not fair. I don't care about that. Somebody fire her. And he walked away. And then they're like, jungle Law. That's amazing. I don't know that I would use them, because they didn't even get good actors for the thing. They just wanted their premise out there. Here's a new one, too. Which one is. There's a Tarzan one. I've seen that, too. Harassed at work. Hashtag, me too. We've recovered millions for our clients. You know you can get this done. And by the way, I saw you looking at me. Don't touch me. Smack your ass. This is for you. What? It's a termination letter for turning him down. You're not alone in the fight. And then some lady in Chris Hemsworth puts Tarzan for my client. Lions. He's a lawyer now because they do one with him. Jungle Law is the best because their commercials are terrible. Brother walks up and goes, I saw you looking at me. Smacks her fat ass and then fires her for saying no. The other one massages the shoulder. Yeah. Oh, I like that. But I love the one where the old man just says, you're fired. There. Massaging her shoulders, smelling her like Joe Biden dude in a hard hat. Taking her back. Oh, a lady from Jungle Law comes and lights it all on fire. I know they're not paying for these, but I don't know if you're any good at law, but I sure do like the idea of it. You know what I like about it is that they spent no money on the acting at all. And actually the production's horrible. Don't let the insurance company monkey. And you know what else? There's Tarzan. There's the guy from the. He shows up and he's like a romance novel cover. The Cato Kalin. Yeah. Just showing up out of nowhere. They hired someone. They got a parrot and a monkey. They paid for that. But they won't ever pay enough money to get Jungler. They're not putting any cash into these spots. These are $40 commercials. I love it. Saul Goodman had better commercials. The lawman. I want that sexy Fabio lawyer. Sometimes to screw up. Mike, I'm. You're going to jail, I think, if you use them. But, oh, the me Too thing had me rolling. I love it. And again, everything's for entertainment, so don't take anything too seriously, especially if you've got one half of Sigfried and Roy representing you in your. Me too, Casey. Wow, these are terrible. That's what I told Brett on Friday. The law tigers were in here and I'm like, wouldn't it be great if they went out and found an albino lawyer? One of the albino law tigers, like the very rare albino law tiger, and eventually he eats a magician. That would be great. Anyway. Oh, Jesus, way past seven. Sorry. Seven o'. Clock. Trujillo. That's the seven o' clock words. Good luck with that. Trujillo. It's got a J in it. Trujillo. Trujillo. True Jillo. Yeah, true Jillo. That's what you put in there at 7:00 clock block. Sorry about that. I missed you for 10 minutes. You got less time, but you'll get to it. You'll be just fine. Don't you worry. That's all right. We'll get there. Oh, no, man. I'm getting a lot of stuff now from Bill or Michael Bidwell and deandre Ayton, I think. They were up this early. They get up early, especially DeAndre. That's what Michael. One of his emails said. It can't really be Deandre Ayton. Those people don't wake up for any job in the morning. Signed Michael Bidwell. My God, his emails are incredibly offensive. Anyway, this guy says the breakfast special, if you fly to Tel Aviv right now is the Intercontinental Ballistic Breakfast. And that. Oh, yeah, it's nice. Nice. I pulled it up. It's very nice. Yeah, it's a fun one. Now, I don't want to get too wrapped up in people being sad and stuff like that, but have you seen this one? What's this? Trump live in concert. Oh, Jesus. Now what's he doing? Is he singing? Bomb Iran. We just bombed Iran. Dropped hellfire on their head. Hold my trigger. Now they're dead, My girl. You know what this reminds me of? Perfect Strike had just begun. He's got a good voice, Trump does. General's clean cabin ain't gone. We were, Oh, my God, this reminds me of 80s morning zoos. Wacky song about the enemy. But that was back before we had all this acceptance and stuff that didn't work and we all laughed at it. There weren't people screaming, mad when you did bomb, bomb Iran. Even Pratt, that prick had that drop it on Gaddafi thing and it was terrible and uncreative and everybody in the city's like, yeah, we all hate that. We all hated the same people back in the day. And it seemed to be uniting. Nobody was a Gaddafi supporter. No one. And Reagan decided to throw a couple of missiles at Libya. We were like, yeah, all of us, like, none of us now we're all like, everybody's mad. I like the olden days when we could do songs like that. And everybody like, that's hilarious. We're all screwed up. And you know what else got screwed up? My algorithm. And I have to say thanks to my friend Colin Boyd, he was messing around on the Instagram yesterday and sent. I sent him a video of an old lady singing, and then he sent me a video of some weird prostitute thing. And then the algorithm's like, these dudes, like the old lady prostitutes. It got confused and then started to just send, like, old ladies. Scrub your computer. Potential candidates. No, there's a 71 year old woman who's on there and one of her, like, it had her. Her dating thing on there. 71, you know, she looked good, she had abs, which was weird for 71. Like they had to be doctored in. Great. Nice pretty silver hair, good shape, but 71 nonetheless. And then it said special skills and it said, back door is always open. Made me picture that 71 year old lady who likes it. And then I just thought, well, maybe she's loopholed the back door because it's probably some sort of weird port for her colostomy bag. And that's technically her back door. Now, the doctors, she had me at port. Well, they. Oh, yeah. When you can I bang your port is like the worst phrase. But 70 year olds have to talk about that all the time. Oh, man. Now we're getting all the. All the commercials from lawyers and stuff. Oh, yeah, some of the lowrider lawyers. I haven't seen that one. There's a lot of weird stuff that goes. That's why you got to stay legit. That's why our gang at Lerner and Row are so good. Their spots are just, you know, learner and row. Standing there telling you got any problems, you need to get paid. Not played. Dude just did it on his phone. Put a T shirt on and did it on us. How hard is it to be a lawyer? I thought it used to be tough. You could just put a T shirt on and on your phone to a spot. Yeah, on inst. But he at least called the folks from war and got the rights to the song. Maybe not. Maybe not. Maybe not. Cease and desist on maybe. Maybe you get. You get the card. You know, like if you're a little writer. Lawyer wars. Like here you go. His uncle was probably. Yeah, exactly. Sure. He was a morocca player. You can do it home. I give you my blessing. My uncle Theo said I could use it. So proud of you. Esquire. I not seen that one. That's not either. If I was running a tv. Well, of course they're. They have no standards either. But I would say that's not airworthy because it's. You can hear the wind blowing. Lee. Oscar said I could do it. He said I could do it. Theo said I could do it. I was in war. He was a driver. He drove war from place to place. The lowrider. Anyway, just. I thought it was a fun weekend. It was fun. There's no sports, so I mean I watched the NFL combine as much as I could between episodes of War and Big Line. Was it like Jennings, Junker Gunner? I don't know. I don't know. Ran a 5.19. It's pretty good. A couple of linemen were sub fives. Yeah, a couple of linemen were. Were like four nines. That's. Those offensive linemen can move. People say they're lumbering. They're six tenths of a second away from the F this guy to ever do it. And a few of them are running sixes, but they're 400 pounds. I can't run a 6:40. Rich Eisen tries it. He's like six and a half, seven seconds and he's, you know, average Joe. These dudes are motoring. And then of course, Cardinal news. It is expected today or sometime this week at the very least that they will finally release Kyler Murray. Going to get released and it's still going to cost the Cardinals like, like 20 something million dollars to get rid of them. I don't know the exact number, but they're. They're going to cut ties with them now and draft trade. You know, where do you go? There's the rub. You go with Jacobe again. It's Brett Vesley from Homer's morning Sickness. Want to let you guys know about my friends over at Divine Design Landscaping. Let me guess. You like your backyard. It's simple. It's natural. It' maintenance. Low maintenance. It's full of rocks and regret. And that one plastic chair you swear is temporary. Well, it's been there since 2015. Look, I've seen what Divine Design Landscaping can do. And look, they can do everything from custom pavers to turf that actually looks real, not some 1980s AstroTurf. And they can handle the maintenance, too. So you can just sit back, relax, and enjoy that yard. Go to divinedesignlawncare.com to get a free estimate. 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Well, weren't they talking about Garoppolo coming here? And they can do that, too. That's Malik Willis. Malik will is going to cost a fortune, and he's going to get to pick where he goes. It's not like Malik again, the Cardinals are delusional. We'll just go get Malik Willis. Malik's going to get offers, and if the Cardinals are throwing money at him and, you know, Steelers, somebody else, there's a bunch of teams that will be like, potentially in that market. I don't think the Steelers will do it, but he's looking at the Cardinals as the last place he wants to go to get his career back. Even Kaepernick's like, I don't know about that. I'd love to play in the NFL, but I'M telling you, we'd love to play in the NFL. I don't play for the Cardinals. So they're going to cut him this week and we'll see where he ends up to thrive. I mean, the jets and the Cardinals are like, we're going to try to get Malik Willis and Malik Willis is like, yeah, go ahead, try all you want. I think the jets actually, if it's one of the two, you're the little engine that won't because he's got. He can go to Miami, for God's sakes. The Dolphins will want him. At the very least, you get to go down to South Beach. That's a terrible franchise too, but it's better than the Cardinals and Jets. Who ends up over here. Two of my. Come here. That's the thing they're talking about. It's like this basically be a swap of cut players as one left handed guy for. I mean, it's not. Tua is not the guy you want. This one says Joe Burrow for the Cardinals have. He ain't coming here. He. He's already complained he doesn't want to lose in Cincinnati and they're not losing as badly as this play. Winston, you're insane. Joe Burrow is going to be a Steeler in the next two years. Town off it. He's going to pull full Carson Palmer, which I absolutely love. Your dream is to play in the NFL. It's your dream since you were a little boy and then you're playing in it and you look around and go, I'm in Cincinnati. Then you go talk to your boss and go, I'm going to quit or you need to trade me. I don't want to quit football. I want to quit being here. And they're like, no, okay. Then I quit. And they had to trade him because he didn't want to be there. Well, we could trade you to the Cardinals. Never mind how bad it is in Cincinnati. They said the Cardinals. Okay, at least they're Scottsdale. Yeah, but nowadays still rather be a Cardinal than a bungle. I don't know about that. You gotta dress. I don't know about that. I do, I do. You couldn't dress me up like a 1970s rug in a pimp's house and consider that a good thing and then have to live in Cincinnati on top of it. No, no. Remember Carson Palmer went to the Raiders. Oh, that's right. He's a Raider. First he went to another horrible organization and then to this horrible organ and he got it right. He did Some dancing, but. But the crux of the story was I'm not asking to play for somebody great, just not you anymore. Because I can't dress like this anymore and take myself seriously. Have you seen our uniforms? We look like a pimp's girlfriend's apartment rug. It's awful. We look like a cat lady's house. And to top it off, when I take that thing off, when I leave, I realize I'm living in Cincinnati, which is nobody's goal. Your dream in life, Brad. Imagine you want to be the greatest baseball player ever. I had to go to Cincinnati to do it. Sorry, Brady. Ohio sucks. The guy had a no on the plane ride home, just sitting there. And a guy walks down the aisle, big dude. And he's looks at me and I have the military bangles. Yeah. Thing on. So the bees there. He's like, go, Bills. Good for you. And what he was basically saying is, I'm gay. Meet you in the bathroom. So how was it? Real gay. Good. Yeah, I mean, this Donovan's right. He's like, probably gonna get rid of Kyler. And the next thing you know, they'll be all excited that Tim Tebow came out of retirement and became the Cardinals quarterback, which would be funny. I'd laugh for hours at that. We'll see. Bert, what do you got on the big board of Musical Treats this Glorious Monday? All right, Wake up. Brought to you by. You have it, I don't. Come on, Bert, it's in your book. I know what it's in. What's a good deal? Once this is over, we're gonna. A copy of that. It's in your book. It's Modern Resolution Windows and Doors. And you use the name Holmberg when you call the gang at Modern Resolution Windows and Doors. And they'll go, you know what? You just knocked 500 bucks off whatever we do here. On top of the fact that right now it's 30% off all windows and doors. My front door broke. I didn't know that was a thing. Not my main front. I got two front doors. It happens with six, seven. I don't know what that means. Front door. I got a few back doors. Not like that 71 year old broad with that port. But I've got. Yeah, I've got like an entryway into a second part of the house, but the thing broke. Like, I don't know why, but it's a door into the game room. And then as. As you open it, you kind of. You pop up the handle and it'll lock down. Into the ground. It broke. Like the whole door is broken. And I had a guy look at it. He goes, yeah, there's internal mechanisms. Gets a door, internal mechanisms. You get this thing's done. I go, so modern resolution windows and doors. Hooking me up there. And then I got a window situation that they looked at. And I said, I want to change this. Oh, the plan is going to be solid. And I mentioned John Holmberg when I did it. You mentioned you? Yeah, I said, buy the buyer, gave him my id. And I'm like, how much off for this? There's a lot more than mentioning me. And they said, no, it's still only 500. Moved you. I'm like, what? That's what they said. Well, that's what I heard. And then, and then I said. He said, you get a problem with me? And I'm like, well, I didn't like that. And he goes, take it up with my boss. I'm like, what is your name? And he said, deandre Ayton, Los Angeles Lakers. My God. Immediately filed a complaint. No, they're great. Modern resolution windows and doors are locally owned, family run, great people. And they're hooking you up right now. 30% off all windows and doors. And all you got to do is say my name for 500 bucks. Off that, my friends, is getting done. Brett, what do you got? You knew that these were going to be going, so. The Gap Band. You dropped a bomb on me. War. Bring back the bomb. Man at work. It's a mistake for that video with the whole War War ensemble from Slayer, Clash, Rock the Kasbah, Bombshell from Power Map 5000. Boom from Pod, hail the Apocalypse, Avatar. Mouth for War for Trump, Pantera. Click, click, boom From Saliva, Vince Vance, Bomb Bomb, Iran. And of course, Men at Work. Overkill. And who Can It Be now that was just for fun. Got a lot of good bombing songs on there. Mouth for War is always solid. All right, I like Mouth for Sounds Good. A little Pantera. That's a solid wake up song. To top it all, somebody needs to do AI Trump singing that. No, they don't. But they will. They don't, but they will. Yeah, they, they, they. You're absolutely right that they should, but they won't. Discusses. I think Brady should be praying for war and get those goddamn Iranians out of his old restaurant. That's signed DeAndre Ayton of the Los Angeles Lakers. Then you can safely walk in and order food instead of deal with all those drones they're assembling. Oh, we got one yeah. Hey guys. Tough weekend, huh? Wasn't an easy weekend. Really. What can we get you? Some more goat? What are you building back there? Is that like a kitchen contraption? Was that a griddle? It is a drone. I should say something cuz I see something, it'll be the last thing you say. This used to be my playground. I like Porkopolis. When it wasn't full of you people. You got a problem with that? My name is Deandre Ayton of the Los Angeles Lake. Used to be be the place I made pork. Brady's gotta go into that Iranian hive of yellow cake uranium enrichment that used to be his Porkopolis gonna go there today. Are you gonna go get some goat? I feel like goat. Hey, Brady. Come on in. We got your goat. Yeah, yeah. Get it. Anyway, come on in. I make you a special meal for. I like your goat. Your goat meets tops to me. I'm gonna Yelp it. Yelp it. Five star. Five star Goat review. Yeah. Brady's old Porkopolis. One thing I say about your Porkopolis when. And that's got to make you feel bad that a place that replaced you isn't closed and their feature is goat. Missed the boat over here. Hammy should have served more goat. Porkopolis would still be here if you'd only listen to me. Has the Goat House outlived Porkopolis's reign? No. Okay, how many years until they pass you? Because that is a day. Yeah, I think they have maybe five more years. They've only been open for two years. You were gone three years. Is that it? What was in there for the year? That can't be. You shut her down in like 2019. It's been seven years since they closed. I don't know. When they opened up. I think there was. Okay, six years. And you only were two more years. Two more years in the goat house passes Porkopolis. What a tragedy. Smoked goat, chops. Smoke goat for the win. Brady's food was good. Goat. You can't open a goat. You can. You can't open an Iranian goat shop and pass up a delicious American barbecue. What were you doing that was so wrong that goat wins. You weren't funded by Hamas. That's why we get our funding. Don't have to work like the wnba. No matter how bad business is, we. We will not go away. Goat. You never see one of those places that's shaped like a Pizza Hut. Serving goat lasting longer. That's painful. Anyway. Well, what's it called again? You don't know Bar Ronnie. Bar Ronnie. That works. That's fine. Goat. One of the. It doesn't say chicken or steak either. It just says goat. Appetizer. Goat other. There it is, Man. A couple more years and it's gonna be a better business model than my American Barbecue Shop. Ow. How did this happen? You do not have goat on your menu. The people clamor for goat. Do they? They do. Trujillo is the word for our contest to send you to Vegas. Disappear to the sphere. October 1st. October 3rd. Oh, my. You get involved in that thing, we'll send you up there, put you in a hotel, give you 200 bucks for fuel, and you go to Sphere to watch Metallica's first two shows. And they're independent of each other. Each different set list. Gonna be awesome. Trujillo. That's the word you're looking for right there. This here is for all you warmonger weirdos. It's Pantera for that new show on CNN. It's Mouth for War. 98 KUPD post. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. Wayne, it's tax time. You filed and your refunds burning a hole in your pocket. That's right, Larry. Before you book a trip or buy something shiny, please remember your car. Tax time's the best time to care of all the car repairs you've been putting off. Sure, because nothing kills a tax refund buzz faster than a surprise car breakdown. I'll say. If your car's been acting up, now's the time to handle it. Should we wait for our refund before getting repairs? No way. Amco payment plans let you get repairs now and pay when you get your check. Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco, Double A, MCO transmissions and a whole lot more. The Renaissance Festival is back. Weekends now through March 29th. Be ready to have a great time. Amazing adventure awaits the entire family. New shows, shopping, jousting, nights, non stop feasting. Leave your cares behind. Happiness reigns at the Renaissance Festival. It's fun and affordable. Visit now through March 29th. 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