06-16-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 06-16-25
Release Date: June 16, 2025
Host/Authors: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Source: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

---

Post-Father's Day Reflections

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg welcoming listeners and reflecting on the recent Father's Day celebrations. Both Brady and Brett share their positive experiences, highlighting memorable moments spent with their families.

• Brett Vesely shares:
  "Had a lovely steak dinner last night." [03:18]

John and Brady commend each other on having a smooth Father's Day without any disappointments.

---

Military Parade and Melania Trump Discussion

A significant portion of the show delves into the recent military parade, which commemorated the Pentagon's ongoing initiatives and possibly the president's birthday. The hosts critically examine the organization and execution of the parade, particularly focusing on the national anthem's performance.

• Brady expresses disappointment:
  "The national anthem... the dude missed every single note." [09:08]

They discuss the possibility of Melania Trump using a double to maintain her composure and appearance during lengthy public events, speculating on unconventional methods to avoid basic needs like using the restroom.

• Brady questions:
  "There is no woman on the planet that cannot... sit still for four hours." [12:49]

The hosts humorously hypothesize about Melania's ability to remain motionless, suggesting absurd theories such as the use of colostomy bags or being an alien.

• Brady jokes:
  "She’s a superwoman. She’s not real." [14:22]

---

Manhunt Weekend Review

Transitioning from the parade, Brady and Brett discuss the weekend's manhunt events, highlighting the capture of a suspect who ultimately surrendered on his own property.

• Brady praises the approach:
  "Whoever sang the national anthem yesterday, not very good." [09:08]

• Brett remarks on the positive outcome:
  "We also got him last yesterday and they caught him." [20:06]

They analyze the tactics used by law enforcement, commending the effectiveness of traditional manhunt strategies over high-tech approaches.

---

Locker Room Observations and Men’s Anatomy Banter

The conversation takes a comedic turn as the hosts share humorous anecdotes and observations from various sports locker rooms, particularly focusing on the disproportionate sizes of athletes' anatomies relative to their stature.

• Brady reflects on NBA locker rooms:
  "The smaller guys were the ones I was most impressed with." [61:30]

• Brett adds humor:
  "I've never heard anything worse in my life." [63:39]

They further entertain listeners with exaggerated tales of athletes and their physical attributes, blending humor with light-hearted ribbing.

---

Listener Emails and Tribute to Officer Gabriel Fascio

A heartfelt segment honors Officer Gabriel Fascio, a family friend and co-worker of John Holmberg's father, who was tragically shot in the line of duty. The hosts emphasize the importance and valor of law enforcement officers, acknowledging the loss and expressing solidarity with the affected community.

• John shares a listener's message:
  "I hope that you would be able to put on a message about how important and valued the work of our law enforcement is." [116:18]

Brady extends gratitude to all law enforcement personnel, advocating for better, cooler uniforms to enhance comfort during duty, especially in extreme weather conditions.

• Brady suggests:
  "Make a light collie pot and blend for these guys. Poly cotton." [117:09]

---

Discussions on 'Dicks' and Ancient Greek Penises

In a humorous and irreverent segment, the hosts explore the historical significance of penis sizes, referencing ancient Greek statues and societal perceptions.

• Brady explains:
  "Ancient Greeks having a little willy was a badge of the highest culture and paragon of civilization." [50:29]

• Brett adds:
  "They make it back then a badge of the highest culture and paragon of civilization. Big penises were vulgar and outside the cultural norm." [51:08]

The discussion veers into modern-day stereotypes and jokes about male anatomy, blending historical facts with comedic exaggeration.

---

Entertainment Drill and Fake Band Shirts

The hosts brainstorm ideas for creating fake band shirts based on hilarious and absurd band names submitted by listeners. They discuss the potential for selling these shirts to raise funds for charities, emphasizing creativity and humor.

• Brady suggests:
  "Maybe I should keep this to myself for a second... concert shirts with fake bands." [85:21]

• Brett contributes:
  "A group of LSU students invented some new car seat tech..." [though this seems out of context, likely part of a broader banter]

This segment highlights the show's playful and imaginative side, engaging listeners in creative ventures beyond typical radio show formats.

---

Final Thoughts and Closing

As the episode wraps up, the hosts continue their lighthearted banter, touching on various topics such as TV show reviews, comical mishaps, and listener interactions. They maintain a humorous tone throughout, ensuring an entertaining listening experience.

• Brett shares a listener’s story:
  "I was at lunch today and I heard a guy..." [77:17]

• Brady concludes with humor:
  "Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it." [throughout closing sections]

John Holmberg reinforces the show's connection to the community by announcing upcoming local comedy events, encouraging listeners to engage with local talent.

---

Notable Quotes

• Brady on National Anthem Performance:
  "The dude missed every single note." [09:08]

• Brett on Manhunt:
  "We caught him." [20:06]

• Brady on Melania Trump:
  "She’s a superwoman. She’s not real." [14:22]

• John on Officer Gabriel Fascio:
  "He always made everyone laugh and was the life of the party." [116:18]

• Brady on Ancient Greeks:
  "Ancient Greeks having a little willy was a badge of the highest culture and paragon of civilization." [50:29]

---

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and community-focused discussions. From reflecting on Father's Day to critiquing military parades and honoring fallen officers, the hosts engage listeners with a mix of lighthearted banter and meaningful conversation. The inclusion of witty remarks and notable quotes enhances the entertainment value, making it a memorable episode for both regular and new listeners.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[Brady]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday it is the post Father's Day morning sickness. It's 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. Let's get this thing going, shall we? Lovely fathers. Hope you had a good. Brett and I had great Father's Day yesterday. Yes. Zero disappointment.

[John Holmberg]

High five.

[Brady]

None. You Brady, what was it?

[Brett]

Yes.

[Brady]

Did you get lavished with prizes? We're all curious.

[Brett]

Had a lovely steak dinner last night.

[Brady]

Who cooked it?

[Brett]

Ronnie.

[Brady]

No kidding? Yeah, on the grill.

[Brett]

She did them in the oven.

[Brady]

Okay. Okay.

[Brett]

That's what I told her. She asked me.

[Brady]

She's not allowed to touch her grill.

[Brett]

Do it in the oven.

[Brady]

Yeah, but did she say anything about how Kirby forgot Mother's Day for her? Was there a reference to this?

[Brett]

No. Kirby just had to spend the day in the room. In her room? All day. Wouldn't come out.

[Brady]

She wasn't laughing at Father's Day. Right. So she didn't overdo it for you after she skipped, did she get you something?

[Brett]

Yes, she did. And she got me.

[Brady]

Man, that hurts. That's a stinger.

[Brett]

My favorite bath soaps. Body scrub.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, what?

[Brady]

Is that real?

[Brett]

Kind of.

[Brady]

What?

[Brett]

No, she just. Basically, she knows the stuff that I use on the body wash from Bath and Bodies Works. I think that's worth.

[Brady]

She got you fragrant soaps?

[Brett]

Yep. They're not soaps. It's the body washing.

[Brady]

Like this, the liquid soap. And then on a loofah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And you scrub. Where do you scrub?

[Brett]

Up? All over.

[Brady]

No kidding. You loofah your skin.

[John Holmberg]

I feel like I'm listening to Izzy in the morning.

[Brady]

I was gonna say that's a little bit surprising. Not gonna lie. A little insight into you. Converted.

[Brett]

Converted about maybe two years ago.

[Brady]

Why? On a little. On those little soft scrunchies or, like, the hard ones? Yeah, okay. On the soft one, and you hang it over the little.

[Brett]

Like washing a car.

[Brady]

What color is your little chamois?

[Brett]

Orange.

[Brady]

You got an orange one, and it's the soft, like, net one. They've got, like, that meshy.

[Brett]

It looks like a sea urchin.

[Brady]

It's kind of adorable in a way.

[John Holmberg]

So no more Irish Spring for you? Yeah, just.

[Brady]

Just no more.

[Brett]

They make it in a liquid soap.

[Brady]

Sure, sure. But you just like to. You like to lather up?

[Brett]

Yeah, I like the. The current summer one that I. Ocean. It's called Ocean.

[Brady]

So Mother's Day. Absolutely nothing. Father's Day. Fragrant soaps and candles. That's nice. That's sweet. That's cute.

[Brett]

Nice.

[Brady]

Daddy likes to soap up. And she knew it.

[Brett]

She also helped me move the storage facility from one I had to transfer.

[Brady]

From one storage thing to another.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

A bunch of stuff you're not using into another room to pay for a bigger one, probably.

[Brett]

Bigger one.

[Brady]

Yeah. You've upgraded your. Your hoarding.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

What's in there now? Not a generator.

[Brett]

We know that Christmas and Halloween stuff.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

Which has gotten a little out of hand.

[Brady]

Or do you still do the Halloween? I thought you gave all that to Laser when he took over the neighborhood.

[Brett]

Loves Halloween.

[Brady]

All right. See, I went to the baseball game yesterday with Doug Hopkins. We drank.

[Brett]

All that was on Saturday, though.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, you had a full weekend. Yeah, I went, oh, yesterday. I've had, like, this weird, like, groin pull type thing. The only thing that feels good is riding my bike. So I said, screw it. I'll ride my bike tomorrow. And I wrote it downtown. And then, you know, drank with Doug for a little bit and then riding it back. Better off driving. It's just. It's hard to do that when you're a little tipsy on a bicycle. It was fun, though.

[Brett]

I enjoyed Sunday with Hopkins as well.

[Brady]

You did?

[Brett]

Yeah, probably 50 times watching the golf.

[Brady]

He's strong on the commercials, right? He's buying a lot of time every break. Smart on that, man. Yep. He was on it. I was watching with him at the. After the game, we went over to that little bar that's next to the stadium. Not The Guy Fieri 1. A real place Crown, I think it's called. And we're hanging out there and watching the golf and. And yeah, Hopkins pops on three or four times while we're in there. It's pretty funny.

[John Holmberg]

Does he sing along when the commercials on?

[Brady]

Everyone does. It was amazing with the whole bar in on. It was like. It was like. It was like an Irish bar. We all got. It was like a pub we all got going. Yeah. But, yeah, a hoof and a bike and the heat doesn't bother me so much. And I was surprised how many people were in that yesterday. Like, they were actually walking around doing stuff. Like, nobody's really being stymied by the heat. I had to go around a lot of people, but it was.

[Brett]

Did you get a golf shirt on the.

[Brady]

No, I don't. I don't like that stuff. I like. You know why? We sat in the third base dugouts and here's the thing. There was a girl there, and she kept lifting the same boy up in the third base dugouts. Over the dugout edge.

[John Holmberg]

Had me excited when she said she's lifting.

[Brady]

I know. That would have been great. Yeah, she would have killed it.

[Brett]

Showed the kids.

[Brady]

Oh, one kid got like three baseballs. The Diamondbacks don't pay attention to who they're giving the ball to coming off the field. They just pop throwing. Like you kids holding two baseballs, and they hand him another one.

[Brett]

Crushing it.

[Brady]

They just killed it yesterday. Killed it. It was pretty awesome. But at the same time, it's like, how many can we get before the Diamondbacks are like, we've given you enough. They don't pay attention. They don't care. And then they started to chuck their Father's Day wristbands in. And people lose their minds over that stuff. Laundry. But the baseball thing was pretty impressive. Then the kid got a little cocky, and other kids in there were like, can I have one? He's like, no. And he had, you know, he had a bullpen's worth of baseball.

[Brett]

So juggling.

[Brady]

The kid was learning he'd lose one, didn't care. I'll get another. Lifted him up as often as they could, and he got as many baseballs as you could possibly imagine. But, yeah, it was pretty. It was a pretty nice day. Father's Day was packed up. Packed full. I'm gonna say this. Whoever sang the national anthem yesterday, not very good. Yeah. Not gonna go down that road the other way. Nope. It was not very good. I don't know who did it, but the dude Was just dead flat on every. Now they're trying to harmonize. Like, we gotta get. We gotta get something going on these national anthems that are a little bit. I don't know. The hiring process is not good right now. I mean, let's get Jesse McGuire out there. He never misses a note. But the sing song, he won. And people clapped after. But I was looking around, like, did we not hear the same thing? That dude missed every single note.

[Brett]

It used to be 93 Dads, but which.

[Brady]

Yeah. Oh, that's right. KDKB. Yeah. 93 Dads is impossible now. Now it's 93 Bears and they don't have Bears Day. Yeah. When Katie KB was a heterosexual station, they would drag 93 fathers out there and sing. 93 Dads would sing the national anthem. And you can't. With 93 people. It can't be that bad. I'll tell you what, though, two. One of them's way off key. That dude is not feeling good today, I guarantee you. And you know who hates him the most? The woman that he practiced with for the last month trying to get all those harmonies right. He was. I am so sorry. Dead flat the whole time. And it's just. I noticed these things because, you know, I care. On the heels of flag day and that. Awesome. Here's something I learned.

[Brett]

Did you get to watch?

[Brady]

Oh, I did, and I was not that happy with it. First off, no nukes. Second, what's with our marching? Would you just win the World Series Army? Let's put it together.

[Brett]

Haven't marched in a while.

[Brady]

Walking around, it was sloppy. Like, we could have put that together in an hour. I'm not saying our army guys aren't badass, but I need to see some of that uniform North Korea stuff if we're gonna have a military parade.

[Brett]

Put some guys, like, hey, put on a uniform.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Out here.

[Brady]

It was like actors and stuff.

[Brett]

It was an option. You could wave or salute.

[Brady]

Yeah, they were waving. Like there was.

[Brett]

Yeah, they. They had some decorum on it, but.

[Brady]

Well, not just stripes. I said that while I'm watching, I'm like, this is stripes. These guys just got up out of that hangar and ran to the military. Sweet. Salute. What, did the chicken cross the road? Who exactly are you guys? Razzle dazzle. These are Sergeant Hawkins, man.

[Brett]

They did pull up the mobile stage and did a jam.

[Brady]

Oh, they had some cool stuff. But I like, the tanks were cool and I like a. I. I've wanted a military parade since I was a little kid. It's I've never seen one in America. I like missiles. I like that. I saw that one in San Diego when they were just dragging some cool stuff down that center street in Coronado. And I was blown away at the fourth of July parade. I'm like, this needs to be amped up. But then the army comes walking by and all their, and they're none of them like trying to.

[Brett]

It wasn't, you know, tighten it up. Yeah, you, I think we're, we're seeing the precision marching. Maybe I'm wrong, but maybe the Marines concentrate on that.

[Brady]

I think the army can precision march too. And I think, you know, you know your competition when China puts on a military parade. You think China didn't like show that to their people and say, look at this, those kind of group and height. And then you see our guys, there's Chinese people. It looks like I made it. They're all in lockstep. Our guys are shuffling and loafing around.

[Brett]

A couple, you know, groups are pretty good with a quick look at the press.

[Brady]

And then I need more than what we got. That's for sure. I was disappointed. And no nukes. Come on. That's the whole purpose of us. We roll nukes down the street like we got your ass. You want to play with us here? Look, we just got these laying around. I'm not a Warhawk, but if we're going to have one, let's have one of these guys just walking around like it's leave on a Friday. And then here's the other thing that I was blown away at. And there are some conspiracy theories about this. Melania Trump is a 55 year old woman, right? She never has to pee. She sat in that spot and didn't move unless she had to stand up for four hours.

[Brett]

Her seat is a toilet.

[Brady]

That's what I'm wondering. I'm wondering what the hookup is. There is no woman on the planet that cannot. Four hours all dolled up. And Trump too. Trump never got up to pee and he's 80. What's going on? What's the secret here? Do they get tubes? Are we, are we tied to something? Because there's no possible way a woman especially can go 4 hours without wrecking the whole thing at the most crucial moment. I have got to pee. Donald, the nukes. We're about to go. What are you doing? Walk me through the bathroom. Come on. I'll be right back. And then he leaves with her.

[Brett]

Do the doubles come in without us seeing it?

[Brady]

That's what I wondered. There's Doubles. There's no question there's doubles. The bathroom situation made me realize that they never once shot that spot where those two hadn't, you know, they were in the exact same place. And then where do they go? It would be like a commotion of Secret Service and movement if either of them got up to walk away. And they would have to stop the whole parade if Trump and Melania went away for a second, because everybody's, like, doing it for, you know, to march in front of the president and he.

[Brett]

Swore in the new class. That was kind of cool.

[Brady]

Yeah, that was neat. But still, look, you're looking for all the positives. There was a lot wrong with that parade.

[John Holmberg]

Question is, does she break out chapstick 10 times during?

[Brady]

I never watch her chapstick. Yeah. So who is wrong? She's a superwoman. She's not real. There's nothing. Nothing about her is human or real. She looks great.

[John Holmberg]

Hologram.

[Brady]

She never changes. She's, like, always the exact same face. Like, there's no emotion. And she never has to pee. And you're right. Not once does Donald do. I see Donald reach into his front pocket and pull out chapstick that he has to hold because she. She doesn't want bulges in her. In her dress. You have to hold it.

[Brett]

You have pockets.

[Brady]

I don't want to hold it. Give it. Here's my tissue, too. Good.

[Brett]

Do you have my id?

[Brady]

This is garbage. Yeah, there's another one. Your id, your tissue, your.

[John Holmberg]

And your debit card and your debit.

[Brady]

Card that you aren't using. Don't worry about it. And your chapstick. Where's the damn chat? And some gum, sometimes. Gum.

[John Holmberg]

Can you hold my chapstick? You have pockets, too.

[Brady]

Always have. Well, she had a tight dress on, I'll give her that. But never had to pee.

[Brett]

She looked good.

[Brady]

Never once. She always looks good. She never had to pee. And they're saying that there is a double. There's rumors out there that Melania doesn't attend any of these events, that the girl that we see is not the real Melania. And I'm wondering, please stand up. Yeah. Where has she always been? Like, this woman's life has had to have been spectacular to look like Melania Trump and not be Melania Trump. And then to get the job in 2016 as her double and have it for 10 solid years and going forward more. And now they don't even use the real Melania anymore. Is the rumor that this is the only one we get? I'm all in on that too. It's crazy. But first things first. Let's get that army out there practicing some marching because that was ragtag at best. I did like how they dressed up soldiers as like the 1st Army. And they put them in the wigs and the old, you know, revolutionary stuff. And then the evolution of the uniforms, that was kind of neat. But military parade, we got to tighten that up. If we. I've seen China and their military parades and those high kicks and the wave is like all in unison. And they look like they. They're scary, they're intimidating. Like they're like. These guys are machines. Our guys just look like, you know, they're getting free college. That's about all I saw.

[Brett]

I was curious about the coverage from various TV stations, just how they handled it. And it was interesting because the ones that would handle it, they put split screen. They show the no kings protesting.

[Brady]

Sure.

[Brett]

And then the parade, which was kind of. And they'd concentrate on that more so than the other.

[Brady]

Yeah, no, the protest that happened here was wisely happened at like 7, 8 in the morning, which was a good, good move on the no kings part. We're all for the social, but let's not sweat it out, shall we? Let's keep it out of the heat. I did a good job. And they were going to do one at night too. I didn't see anything riding my bike back last night. I didn't see any protests or anything. It was fairly peaceful. Lovely ride, absolutely nobody out. It was wonderful at night, which was weird. The daytime people were walking all over. Nighttime. It was another thing I think I discovered I love because of this weekend outside of military parades, which I think we should have got. I can't wait for next July 4th when the country turns 250 on its own. If that fireworks display we got Saturday for the army's birthday was any indicator, we're gonna. Everybody's gonna lose a hand for the 4th of July here because this thing's gonna blow up. We're gonna. We're getting nukes.

[Brett]

Hold your hands up.

[Brady]

We're getting nukes next year for our parade. There better be the Marines and the Air Force will fly over and we'll have the Thunderbirds and the Blue Angels and the Navy guys and all of them. We're doing some marching next year.

[Brett]

Do that like 100 yard, just explosive flame stuff.

[Brady]

Awesome. Yeah, all of it. We're gonna blow up everything on tv. It's gon be great. I also discovered this weekend that I love me a manhunt I. I don't like why they happen. Like that dude that shot those people in Minnesota. It's tragic. But then the manhunt happened, and that's the news at its best.

[Brett]

Got him the traditional way.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Like a deer hunter.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Trail camera.

[Brady]

Yep. And they got him in some field.

[Brett]

On his own farm.

[Brady]

On his own farm. They didn't stray far. They had. They were searching all of Minnesota. Guy was outside out back just tending to the cattle. The. Remember the manhunt that happened here when those two dudes escaped from the prison that Toledo's wife was in? And they got out and then that dude got tased in the back and he just froze in that field. They were running across that field. I fell in love with manhunts that day because that was like a couple of days of searching for bad guys. Manhunts are awesome because I realize while I'm watching, this is going to be future entertainment for me down the road. I'm going to watch a special or two or three on Netflix about this very event. And what I'm seeing is like the teaser, the trailer, the actual manhunt is the trailer when we start getting all the footage and stuff and the body cams and then what's going on behind the scenes and what they knew and where he kind of thought that's what, like the Luis Humangione manhunt that went on for a couple days. That's gonna be a great special. That's going to be a great special. Probably a two parter, maybe a three parter, didn't last that long. This. This thing that happened over the weekend, two parter, you get to build up of who the guy was. Then the end of episode one is his action, and then he goes on the run for episode two and how they had him. The manhunt that happened in the Boston bombing, if you've ever watched any of that. Oh, my God, is that a thrill ride? Terrible event, but manhunts in a big way. That sounds gay, but it's true. I like a manhunt. A big weekend's worth of manhunting. It's great stuff. But they got him last yesterday and they caught him.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

In his backyard basically in a field.

[Brett]

And cops were in a deer stand.

[Brady]

Yeah, they were in like a block.

[Brett]

Broke down for the deer feet out front. There's a pile. And then lured them out there.

[Brady]

Yeah, they had some. Some the deer urine all over him. And they brought him his own urine. Right. Who goes home after that? Like.

[Brett]

Like the weird thing is that's what I was wondering. It's like, how much did he have? Was he planning on, you know, escaping? Didn't sound like he was like, well.

[Brady]

But maybe he wanted to do some.

[Brett]

More, you know, enough acreage on his property that he could disappear for.

[Brady]

Not very well. Evidently not, because he didn't disappear very well. I. But he went home, and I think that means he was not done yet. Like, he stayed close to his comfort and he didn't. Like, he surrendered, but it wasn't. It wasn't like, right away. I always look at that with Mangione, that Luigi, everybody's like, you know, I've talked to people who are Luigi fans, and I always remind him, like, he's a coward. Oh, my God, you could shoot them. Like, no, no, no. I'm not saying his actions were justified or unjustified. I'm saying there is no question about it. It is inarguable that Luigi Mangione is a coward. He shot someone in the back and then he ran away. If you're a. If you're a political activist to the point where you're gonna commit murder or you're trying to take a stand, and you're a martyr, you stand there with your hands up after you commit the crime and say, this is why I did it. You don't run away. You don't leave. And you certainly don't shoot someone in the back.

[John Holmberg]

Shoot them in the face.

[Brady]

You do like the mob does. Turn around. Now, the mob guys hide. That's cowardly. But they shoot you in the face. They shoot you in the back. Their own guys get mad. You don't shoot a man in the back. And. And, yeah, so, I mean, I look at that kind of stuff. I don't. Once you start running, that's fear. That's coward. So this dude's sort of a coward, too. But he went home. I went looking all over for him. But then when they got him at home, I was like, that guy wasn't done yet. That's crazy. Flat out crazy. All that during the marches and super parade we had going on. Melania not peeing once.

[John Holmberg]

No Chapstick.

[Brady]

Find me one woman out there that can sit for four hours. Sit still for four hours, not even get up and walk around for no reason or go find something to eat or come back with a churro. Like, when in the world did you ever see Trump? Like, for four hours, nobody even gave him a churro or anything. Like, he didn't like everybody. You gotta have Dr. Pepper or something.

[Brett]

Think of nachos or something.

[Brady]

They didn't have drinks.

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo from homework's morning sickness. For Chime, the checking account that helps you manage your money better. How nice would it be to have a checking account that, instead of charging you fees, helps you build credit? Get paid early and more With Chime Checking there are no minimum balance fees and no monthly fees. And with your Chime Secured credit builder Visa card, you'll pay no annual fees or interest or be required to have a minimum security deposit or credit check to apply. And enrolling in direct deposit with Chime helps you get your paycheck up to two days early for free. So move toward a better financial future with Chime and get started [e-mail] Holmberg where you'll open a Chime checking account in just two minutes. That's Chime.com Holmberg Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp NA or Stride Bank NA member is FDIC Spot Me Eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Fees apply at out of network ATMs, MyPay eligibility requirements apply. Credit limits range from $20 to $500 $2 fee to get funds instantly. Chime checking account required. Go to chime.com disclosures for details.

[John Holmberg]

Hey Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Brett]

Brett I sure do. It's M and P Guns. Customs M and P Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Brett]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily.

[Brady]

No weight.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP GunsCustoms.com it sticks a little.

[Dick Toledo]

For FanDuel, America's number one sports book right now. With FanDuel you can make the smarter play with performance trends. You can get the latest stats right inside the app and see who's heating up. Get started today by visiting FanDuel.com KUPD and you'll get started with 200 in bonus bets guaranteed when you place your first five dollar bet. Make every moment more with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA 21 plus and President Arizona first online real money wager only five dollars first deposit required. Bonus issued is travel bonus bets that expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms of sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text NEXT STEP to 53342.

[Brady]

Morning sickness. They're not human. They're just human. Some yeah. Just see somebody hammering something.

[Brett]

Loving the Dogzilla.

[Brady]

That was one of the funniest parts of the Naked Gun. The original is when they, you know the queen is in that box and she's passing down hot dogs. Next thing you know she's hammering one. And like you never see that. You never see the officials crush a hoagie. They're in a parade for crying out loud. One churro a soda.

[Brett]

Worst parade ever to sit through it.

[Brady]

Would be for them for four hours. They can't move. I didn't see a waiter. I mean yesterday at the Diamondbacks game I had peanuts. I had two drinks, some water. I was running that lady raggedy. Everybody in that box that we were in went pee at least once. At least once. It's a three hour baseball game. Four hours of watching dudes march. I'm getting up at least once I got a pee or fake it or stretch or something. They didn't budge.

[John Holmberg]

They have the, the server come over every so often for new beers or anything. Like he didn't, he didn't get up to go get beers during.

[Brady]

But you would think that you would see.

[Brett]

I don't think I saw him even take a sip of. Out of a bottle.

[Brady]

Pete Hegseth was next to him. So you can't really have beers flowing. Right. That's a bad. The Democrats will eat that alive. But yeah, a water something. Never once. And you know Trump wanted one. You know Trump wanted a, a hot dog or a hoe. What are they serving? Go find me, go find me something delicious that won't mess up my suit. Just a napkin and bring me a Stella something. I got to have some pop. I don't know. This is brutal. And he had to. I. Trump had to be a little upset about the, the laissez faire nature of the marching. I think he expected one of those Russian or Chinese marches going by and he got like the military on, on leave. But it was kind of neat. Again, more missiles next time. We know now more nukes. A couple of massive like long range super nukes that like a quarter mile long. Just humongous.

[Brett]

I thought there might have stopped, you know, just like to do the Macy Day Parade.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Do a little number or something. I thought they might do some drill stuff or.

[Brady]

Cool.

[Brett]

Cool. Doing that great rifle toss.

[Brady]

Awesome. Yeah. Put on display.

[Brett]

But I guess that's not the arm.

[Brady]

They were busy. I don't. I think it is the army stripes. They don't put that together. Yeah. Stripes put. You're exactly right. That's just to get out of boot camp. You got it. That's fine marching. Sir. Like they know it was brutal.

[John Holmberg]

But the EM50 show up too.

[Brett]

They had a couple of SUV buggies that are.

[Brady]

Oh they showed like a dune buggy that had had launchers. 360 degrees. I'm like I a. That needs to be available to the general public.

[Brett]

And those other. That armored. Armored vehicles that had multiple pipes coming out. Is that exhaust?

[Brady]

No, that's what I was looking just. I think they just break rapid. Bad guys. Yeah. No that's. It's. It's boy hard on stuff. I don't think chicks understood that. The inner boy and all helicopters over your head. Dude. We can't watch those toys roll down a real street in front of the White House and not turn into 5 year olds. Like that was army men. And it was pretty awesome. Just a little tighter on the marching next time. When 250 rolls around for the country next year you're up against Marines, army. You guys start marching it out a little better. I want some. I don't like that high kick one. I don't know why Chinese like Asian military. They all do that high straight leg, big march. Very Nazi. Very, very German. But I like it tight.

[Brett]

But it is precise.

[Brady]

Precise. We didn't have that angular. Nothing. Not. Not even close.

[Brett]

They had a cadence going.

[Brady]

Well they were marching. There's no doubt they. But it was floppy.

[Brett]

See the guy barking back there?

[Brady]

I think because we're so used to seeing military parades from communist nations and bad guys. And they keep it tight and that's just on display for us. They're not doing that for themselves. Shelves. That's to get footage of their military being over prepared for everything and in unison for us. It's intimidating to us now.

[Brett]

The one division that was walking, they had the face camoed up.

[Brady]

I didn't see them.

[Brett]

And they had their sniper rifles.

[Brady]

Oh that's pretty awesome.

[Brett]

Super.

[Brady]

But we're gigantic. Tight on it. I didn't see them tight marching.

[Brett]

Well you didn't question being. No, I know these guys are walking the intensity.

[Brady]

I'm not saying that, you know our guys aren't badass. Tighten it up a little bit. So I always thought it was like, discipline, discipline, discipline. That was the military. I didn't see a whole lot of that. Saw a lot of sloppy. And again, military guys will email in. Sean, you don't understand, like. No, no, no, you don't understand. The general public is like me more than they're like you. And so you needed to. They needed to put on a show to make everybody feel like, you know, we're up against the other Taiwanese armies and stuff. March better than that Guy says that. Rifle toss and silent cadence teams are marines, okay? Either way, 250 comes up next year. It's going to be great. It says, you have to Remember, John, the U.S. army is one of the most lethal killing machines on the planet. Chinese, North Koreans are just marching bands. That's why they look so good. Can't we be both? Can't we be a. Like you say, a lethal killing machine? Who can.

[Brett]

Marching division. That's all they do.

[Brady]

Great. Let's top them there, too. Let's be better than you.

[Brett]

Take a couple hundred.

[Brady]

I'll take 2,000. Imagine that. We're a lethal killing machine who also marches better than you. I mean, if that's all you're good at, let's be better at that, too. I saw sloppy, and this is what I wanted. Feel great. This would have been awesome. This is what we watched on Saturday. They trained all night for that. Just one day. That's all it took. I would. I would have. I would have pissed myself if this happened. One boom shakalaka and I'd have been through two Boom shack. All right, that's the military parade I need.

[Brett]

Who is your go getters? I'm looking for.

[Brady]

Where is your sergeant? Load up, sir. Ah. That is a military parade. Damn it. Anyway. And I just. You know, I've seen first ladies with the initiative to get kids to read or physical fitness for four year olds. And I think being first lady is the easiest job in the world. It is. Without question. You pick a topic nobody hates. Like, their initiatives are always like, who's against? Like, kids reading. Nobody. Who's against? Yeah, just say no. Yeah, just say no. Physical fitness wants kids to be healthy and able to read and off drugs. That's easy. Melania, you need to step it up. Write some sort of book. How to keep broads from pissing every five minutes on car trips and at, you know, long events. Second, I've ever sat down at a table for any event ever. Somebody touches me, I'm gonna ping. You're an adult. What are you gonna carry? You. I'LL wait. No, because I'm gonna hear about it the whole time. You're a dog with a tennis ball. The second your bladder goes, hey, guess what? It's all they think about. Melania has solved it. Never pees, never gone. Like you'd never get a shot of the president and she's gone. We'd all know. Every man be like, oh, she must have to pee. Because they always have to pee. Or apply chapstick. Like Brett's death.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Brady]

One, not one reapply in four hours. And she looked as good at the beginning of the night as she did at the end of the night.

[Brett]

She had to sneak that when they'd have caught it.

[Brady]

You think that if MSNBC had a camera on anything, it's on when Melania left, left so they could get that shot of that empty chair so they can come back and go, she hates him. She leaves. They would have been all over it. She can't leave his side. The left media would kill her.

[John Holmberg]

Or even reapplying.

[Brady]

Reapply. One shot of her reapplying and all the cameras in the world. She didn't do it. That's why she's a superwoman.

[Brett]

Custom made first lady lipstick.

[Brady]

Let's get it out to the packages, get it out to the masses. And whatever piss tank she's got taped to the back of her thigh, let's get one of those. Going to first lady beeswax.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I will buy it.

[Brady]

Oh, my God, I will buy it. Road trip, piss buckets. Melania Trump's rose. It Suction cups right onto the old urethra. Fires right through, ladies.

[John Holmberg]

And one application chapstick. I'm in.

[Brady]

I'll buy. I don't care what side of the political aisle you're on, ladies. You need to be more like Melania in so many ways. In so many ways.

[Brett]

Graceful.

[Brady]

I've never seen her in sweatpants either. She seems to always try and graceful. Brady's right. Graceful. Oh, you clumsy clauds out there wandering around in your Uggs. Let's get it together, ladies. Tighten it up. Fix your face. Fix your face. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one. We're gonna practice marching today. It's 98 KUPD.

[Brett]

Wake up.

[Brady]

Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Glorious Monday. Too hot outside for words, but that's all right. It's what we're used to. Pools are floating. I hear people splashing and mashing around. The pools are back in action. Pulling now. And it's a good thing. Guy says that manhunt is awesome, John. I'm all about manhunts, too, but this one ended boring. Essentially. It was like when Wiley Coyote tried to get the Roadrunner to stop for free bird seed. It's true. It had that kind of vibe of. And then he talked. No, no, no, you got to eat it. And then it blew him up. It was very anticlimactic. I wanted more, but they got him, and that's good. That dude's gonna get fried up. People were emailing in about the marching at the parade, and Richard says, got political. Can't talk about all. I didn't say left, right, or otherwise. All I wanted was our army marching away tight as a drum. We're gonna have one of those parades. Tighten it up. Richard says it's because the last thing those soldiers want to do is be there on their weekend off to march for a draft dodger. Oh, hell of a swing there. It's not the military's call, though, is it? Like, that's the whole point of the military, is to not have independent thought. You don't like the president, so you're gonna march out of step. Aren't you gonna get in trouble for that? That's the whole point of the deal. And Clinton was a draft dodger, too. They had a march for him, and they did march. I just don't think anybody put the heat on him to do it better. And then everybody's got an opinion on why Melania and Trump don't pee. I got several people saying that they have diapers on. It says, president uses a diaper. I don't know about her. She may be alien. Craig says, and I think that's true. This one says both the president and Melania have colostomy bags and catheters put in for superhuman optics. Her clothes are too tight to have a tube and a colostomy sack. And a colostomy bag isn't. That's tied to your. Like, that's a port that sticks out of your. Like, you have to have a surgery for that that's not just attached to your butt.

[John Holmberg]

What, the bag?

[Brady]

Yeah. The colostomy bag is direct into your gut. Like, people with colostomy bags aren't just putting tubes up their butts and walking around with a sack of their own. That's a medical procedure. A colostomy bag. So Maybe you have like a. It just doesn't make sense that you can't. Because right now I'm trying to think of anything. You'd have to have a funnel and you'd have to have a tube and then a bag. And she's in tight clothes. You'd see something.

[Brett]

Yeah, I would, I would say a diaper more than anything.

[Brady]

I just think she's superhero. I don't think she's.

[Brett]

But I, you know, I don't know what the big deal is. Even if she had to get up and pee. Yeah.

[Brady]

It would have caused a ruckus. You got Secret Service and people jumping around and walking and dancing with the.

[Brett]

Stage that they had. Bet there was an amazing lounge.

[Brady]

I bet those seats, they just drop right in them. But you'd have had to hide.

[Brett]

And that whole thing was built.

[Brady]

And who goes with her? She's got to go pee in a public place like that. She's got to go into a Porta John or they go into like a presidential Porta Johnson. People standing outside. She hikes it up. Nobody peeing next to her. Make sure she washes. I don't buy that there's a bag in her dress. I think she's just. I think she's just well trained. I'll be honest with you. You ladies are too willy nilly about getting up every five minutes. The diaper thing, I don't know. The President sitting in his own pee now.

[John Holmberg]

They do it for New Year's Eve. All the morons standing out there for the ball to drop and stuff. So what else is he gonna do? I mean, there's gotta go.

[Brady]

Yeah, could you do it? You had to pee and you're in a diaper. Could you sit there, pee and just sit in the fill. I couldn't do. Babies can't do it. Babies hate it. Just cause you have a diaper doesn't mean that you don't want it changed. I mean, you realize you're wet. The reason you have a diaper, it's.

[Brett]

On for so long. And that's why you get the rash.

[Brady]

You get a rash and then somebody's gotta lift his legs up and hold his ankles together and powder his bum. Get the creases, get the creases. It's really, really itchy. Mom me.

[Brett]

Those big, you know, big events like that. The New Year's Eve.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Oktoberfest.

[Brady]

Okay, that's drunken idiots wearing a diaper, not caring if you had a diaper on right now. And you. And the only reason you'd have one on is because you don't know when you're gonna pee. Right. You wouldn't wear one just for lazy factor. Then you'd realize, oh, man, I pissed because it's wet. Diapers don't. They don't absorb everything and just make everything normal. You sit in your own urine. So even if you like old men don't know when to like. They don't know how to hold it anymore. So you get adult diapers. And how do they know they're soaked? Ask it. Did your dad have to wear them when he was older?

[Brett]

At the tail end? Yeah, he wore four times.

[Brady]

And he knew I gotta go.

[Brett]

When we went four wheeling, put him on just in case.

[Brady]

Just in case he dropped the deuce.

[Brett]

Yep.

[Brady]

And he would have known immediately, sloshing around on his own. All right. I'm not gonna let anybody know, but. Hey. Hey, can we pull over here? I got some work to do. I need a backup diaper somewhere. Right. Here's the theory about Melania I'm gonna go with right here. And this comes from Ramon. Said, I watched some of that military parade this weekend and it looked like the only one who wanted to be there was Melania. She had that little smirk on her face, that grin. She must have been fantasizing about the men and women in uniform for him. Or she had a butt plug in set to stun. I don't know how she. So think about it. It was Trump's birthday. What do we get on birthdays and.

[John Holmberg]

Christmas Andes and Blowies.

[Brady]

She had a plug in prepping for what was coming that night. She was getting it ready. She had it in there. So it would have been easy access for Donald on his 79th, if in fact he got it hard. She was ready all holes ago on a man's birthday.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe she was. She cleaned up the day before, kind of. So she didn't get the chocolate LeBaron out. So that she was done.

[Brady]

She met a muse.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Or they liked it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Or yeah. Or they're into it. They're weirdos. Celebrities are strange. And then you put the plug in there and she's sitting around just kind of wiggling on it, going, this is phenomenal. And. All right, time to go. It's my birthday. Later, Heg. Seth. I gotta go get some ass. You got this? Yeah. Clean this mess down. Teach those boys to march. I'll be right back. And then as a good wife. A good wife would do it. Christmas, birthday, sometimes Father's Day. I'm not gonna ask Brady Backdoors in play. A good wife gives it to you those three days for sure. A great wife gives it to you whenever she wants. Y. A terrible wife says that's off limits. Ew. Just saying. A bad husband asked for it too much. But that was his birthday. So Ramon's theory that she had one in prepping for the rest of the night, that's why she was smirking. That's why she didn't move much. She had already cleaned out the night before. Like Brett said, the tanks were empty, the chute was ready. Ready. And Trump just sat there waiting. When does this stupid thing end? Is this the last missile? No, sir. There's one more brigade coming. God damn it. Melania's got a plug and we're gonna get out of here.

[John Holmberg]

Did they just jump in the back of the beast and go to town?

[Brady]

I mean, yeah, literally. Can't wait. The beast with two bats.

[Brett]

They went back to the White House for the presidential freak off.

[Brady]

Yeah, it could be. It could be. That's a good theory. And then while Israel and Iran lob bombs at each other, Ukraine and Russia are going to town on each other. You got manhunt up in Minnesota. At the time our president was working, working it through the plug move that you're ready. Lube it up. I'm going in. It could happen. But yeah, Melania did kind of. She was impressive the whole day, but I gotta figure that out. Too many theories abound on my emails of, you know, bags of poop attached to the president. I don't think that's real. But I don't know when they pee and it's weird because he sat there, she said, 80 year old man and a woman, they have to pee a lot. Never once did I see Big Mike get up to pee. I've never seen a first lady pee.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she had a wizinator.

[Brady]

Oh, that's true. It would be easier for her. She can just attach it to that huge dork. Oh yeah. And then drag it Michael Vick style down into a reservoir in her shoes. Good point, Brett. Yeah, Brett. Brett for that one. That's a win on Brett's part. Yeah, I like that. All right, Melanie, you need to get a wizinator like my wife had. But I don't need that because I have. This is going to be delicate. A vagina. Oh, that's right. That's where you and Big Mike are different. Big Mike's got that huge hog and just ties it into the. We get it at Home Depot. It's just piping But I don't even know how a lady attaches a wizinator. It's got.

[John Holmberg]

There's got to be a.

[Brady]

It's got to be a kind of thing. But it's got a suction cup on or be some sort of a straps.

[John Holmberg]

It would have to be.

[Brady]

And then it.

[John Holmberg]

And how would you cover that up in that tight dress, Wearing it.

[Brady]

And you'd walk funny if that was full because it's got the hole back in. So it would come up and touch on. It's just. There's. There's no way. She's just. She's a camel.

[Brett]

I believe she can hold it.

[Brady]

I'm gonna go with Brady on this one. I think when you're a first lady, they give you secrets on how to do it and you write a book. Like I said, a book about it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm still just shocked with the chapstick thing. No chapstick in four or five hours.

[Brady]

Huge.

[John Holmberg]

Impossible.

[Brady]

She's not a real woman. She's better than a real woman. And if she had that butt plug in, she's the greatest woman on the planet. Did you put the plug in? Melania? We're gonna be there for a while, so you gotta loosen her up. It's in donut. All right. Put it on stun. Listen to those tanks go.

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo from Holmberg's morning sickness. For Chime, the checking account that helps you manage your money better. Wouldn't it be nice to have a checking account that helps you and not just charges you fees? No one likes being hit with an overdraft fee. And with Chime's Spot Me feature, you'll be covered for up to $200 until your next deposit. Chime will also never charge you a fee or interest when you need that Spot Me coverage. Your Chime account also gets you fee free cash from over 50,000 ATMs, more than the top three banks combined. So move toward a better financial future with Chime and get started [e-mail] you'll open your Chime checking account in two minutes. That's chime.com Holmberg Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp NA or Stride Bank NA members. FDIC Spot Me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Fees apply at out of network ATMs. MyPay eligibility requirements apply. Credit limits range from $20 to $500. $2 fee applies to get funds instantly. Chime checking account required. Go to chime.com disclosures for details hey, Byron.

[John Holmberg]

I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.

[Brett]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Brett]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always, always go to mmpguns.com all right. HMS podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Head north to catch Michael Longfellow. Sets Friday through Sunday at the Desert Ridge Improv. The east side features Jonathan Kite this Friday through Sunday at the Tempe Improv.

[Brady]

And from Breaking Bad and better Call Saul Famous, the multi talented Laval Crawford.

[John Holmberg]

Performing Friday and Saturday night downtown at Standup Live.

[Brady]

For the complete lineups and for Tickets.

[John Holmberg]

Go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and Tempe Improv.

[Brady]

Holmberg's morning sickness. And then, like, I'm gonna save you guys the trouble of searching your computers for this and give you all the information you need on this because you don't need this in your algorithm. But I saw an article that said something about penises have not, like, the optimum sized wiener. Like, being large didn't start until, like, the 40s and 50s. Prior to that, having a small dong was a sign of intelligence. The small wienered guys, you guys lost this battle. Small wienered guys used to be. That's why Greek statues, because I did a little research on wieners, so. So you didn't have. Thank you, Greek statues. And then there's an article. It's in my algorithm now because I got an article this morning.

[Brett]

They're nestled.

[Brady]

Real reason why ancient Greek statues all have tiny penis penises is because when you had a big one back then, you were considered stupid. They saw it as an IQ thing. They saw your intelligence attached to your penis size. You get a big dong, you're just not a normal person. So they didn't like those guys. And that stuck around for the most part from Greek times all the way up until, like, video. And once it became, like, aesthetically pleasing to see a big dork on video. That's when it all changed a bit. Be the pressure of a man. And you know who put the pressure on was us. Seeing big dongs in action. And us normal guys were looking, like, going, oh, wait a minute. I can't do any of this. So that totally swung the pendulum over.

[Brett]

Oh, no, it wasn't the Asian. He's gonna be dumb.

[Brady]

Yeah, you get a yeah right when. Yeah. Dads now brag about their kids with huge dorks. Our buddy Doug Fairchild talks about his son all the time. So he came out of the womb with a. With a hog. And in the olden days, you'd be like, oh, he's a. He's retarded. But not anymore. Yeah, it's a weird thing. And that was back then in the. A guy wrote a book called In Bed with Ancient Greeks. They all had small penises because it portrayed an ideal quality at the time. That's what women liked, the little ones. Ancient Greeks having a little willy was a badge of the highest culture and paragon of civilization. Big penises were vulgar and outside the cultural norm. Something sported by the barbarians of the world. So the dudes that would run around, Vikings and barbarians and stuff scared all the women. He's got to remember, there probably weren't much on foreplay back then. Not a lot of dudes going down on women back then.

[Brett]

They had quite the variety at that brothel.

[Brady]

And think about.

[Brett]

Got it in Pompeii.

[Brady]

Oh, sure. But there wasn't a lot of lubricant or any lubricant at all back then outside of, you know, your own. So the bigger ones, ladies hated them. Sure. You went by Pompeii and found all the toys, and they're like, yeah, the. Played with all these. That's why they were still around. No one kept them. The little. The little toys. Ladies left the town with them or died with them in their pockets. Pockets. You saw that after the. After the eruption of Pompeii, all the stuff that wasn't getting used is what we found.

[Brett]

It still would be interesting to see how many Mensa members have huge hogs.

[Brady]

Measure out some Mensa dicks. It's good thinking, Brady. I'm gonna put you in charge of that, all right? You're in charge of the mensah penis hits. See, I'm a man of average intelligence according to the IQ test, a man of average size. I'm off the rack, guy.

[John Holmberg]

The Asians don't like the way this new goes.

[Brady]

No no, no. You notice Asians don't have a whole lot of statues of each other, right? Yeah. Well, it's pixelated. Yeah, yeah. Says anyone can have muscles. But a truly civilized man would be a clever person in control of his faculties, seemingly shown by a small penis. They thought that if you had a bigger one, you couldn't control. Control it. A small one's easier to control.

[Brett]

I gotta use this on somebody. Why these guys whip it out sometimes.

[Brady]

Well, it's just out of control. Once it's out, it's like, well, that thing's damaging somebody. So they hated them. It's pretty crazy. Like you go back and look at the research of it. And then they started showing in the article all these statues and Greece and I'm like, man, I don't think I ever noticed how little, like in proportion. Everybody's a monster is like a workout. Monster, monster. And all the pee pees are tiny. And that was because they thought those guys were great. So I think we need to take that back. It's the small dicks of America unite. Start being proud of that thing and saying that you're smart and stop worrying about it. You're too focused in on your. You're also angry.

[Brett]

Now an interview question.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

How much you packing?

[Brady]

What do you got downstairs? Anything over five inches and I think you're stupid as a stump. And all these big dick guys will be like, wait a second, what? Sorry, you can't work. And we start putting big dick guys out of work. Now they don't have any money. And that's essentially what this article is saying, is the small dick guys gave each other jobs back in the day. The big dick guys were just barbarians. Chicks are into money. They don't care about your dick size. They're into success and ambition. Barbarians would come rolling by, eh? Poor guy's gonna take me to ancient Applebee's. I want to go to Ocean44. I don't want to get at stockyards. I want to be at stake. So that's what they needed to do. So little dick guys need to hire other little dick guys and put these big dick guys. It's nothing worse than being wildly successful, having a ton of money and a huge hog. And that's the fault of the hiring practices of small dick guys. That's it. I think Brady's right. We go through and in Mensa, we find out, this guy says, come on, Brady, you know Neil DeGrasse Tyson is rocking a Lexington steel size rod. I don't think so.

[Brett]

No, I'm with you.

[Brady]

I think. And I think NDT has got himself a micro. That's why he's so interested in looking elsewhere. Everybody look up, look up. That's. I mean, he's always look up at the sky. Never look down. Never ever look down. Neil DeGrasse Tyson's hiding something. I think that's true. I don't think. Yeah. So it's weird because I was, you know, the big story that I was seeing and then. But I would have assumed it would have been much earlier. But we turned the whole thing on its head after World War II for some reason. And the problem probably was that while all the guys were off to war. War. The dudes too dumb to go to war were here banging your wives and they started to go, that is better. And the invention of lube also made life easier for the. For the big dork dude. And lube didn't come about in a safe way. Not a Safeway store, but like a safe manner until like the 60s. Prior to that, they're using like butter Crisco. They were worked whatever was slippery. WD40, like anything, anything to keep the machine moving. And I've met some dudes who brag about having huge ones and never once do I want them to do my taxes or anything. You know, think about it.

[Brett]

I know.

[Brady]

I know for a fact Doug Fairchild wouldn't shut up about his. And I, I got confirmation from his wife that it's a horrifying hurt dog. Scary. And the last thing I want is Doug Fairchild in charge of anything important in my life. I like hanging out with him. He's fun. But I don't. I'm not putting Doug in, In charge of my.

[Brett]

He's not the tax man.

[Brady]

He's not the guy. I'm going to sit down and go, let's go over. Let's. Let's crunch some numbers, you and me. My friend Kevin Manion, who passed away about 10 years ago, got hit by a car crossing the street running over to a strip club. Club.

[John Holmberg]

He's packing.

[Brady]

Working theory is he tripped over his own dick in the middle of the road. And that's why he got hit. He was packing. Kevin was about 5, 6. And at his funeral, I talked to Kevin, got around. I talked to three women and all of them were like, oh, such a great guy. So funny. And then one said, and my God, like, no kidding. And then Kevin's old room roommate, a guy said, Kevin came down the hallway once and he wanted to move out. Kevin came out of his Room with no pants on. And he saw it. He's like, I. I'm not living with this guy. This isn't. This isn't. I can't see that twice. But yeah, three women at his feet. It was a third thigh. I loved Kevin. I wouldn't put Kevin in charge of, like, I wouldn't. I wouldn't trust Kevin to go get a can of gas and bring it back to the house. He'd burn down half the city, probably knock it over with that huge dick. So if we want it to swing back, little wiener guys, you got us. Only hire little wiener guys too. And it's shocking. Like, a lot of the people I know that have the big ones are tiny people. When I was in the. When I used to do NBA coverage back in, my very first job in radio was to go get sound in the locker rooms. And it was shocking how the big dudes on the team are not proportionate. They've got a regular. Not all of them. There were a couple that were horrifying, but Greg Foster of the Utah Jazz was seven feet tall. And he had my ride on him. And let me tell you, my wiener on a seven foot box micro. It's hilarious. It doesn't look good at all, but that's the human penis. It's, you know, it's basically, I think when they're making people like you just reach into the last bin before you're a human being. You just reach in and get what you get. It has no bearing on whether you're tall, fat, short, skinny, whatever you are, are. There's no, like, there's no guarantee. Big, giant, like Shaquille o' Neal. If Shaquille o' Neal has my thing, it's. He. It's embarrassing. I don't think he does because he's got like a hundred kids. I think Shaquille's proportionate, which is horrible.

[John Holmberg]

I think his crank is riding shotgun in the F350 or.

[Brady]

You gotta remember, like, have you ever seen Shaquille o' Neal's ex wife? She's like five, three.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, kid.

[Brady]

He can't be proportionate. It would be bigger than her. Like, and I mean physically bigger. So giant dudes have to have something that fits in a regular girl. It's just not. It just can't be done. We need to get back to that.

[Brett]

Yeah. What was his name? Robert Wadlow. The eight foot tall guy.

[Brady]

The world's tallest man.

[Brett]

Eight foot eleven, yeah.

[Brady]

He was almost nine feet tall. He came from southern Illinois. They've got Chairs that he had. His shoes were like a size 29. If he was, if he, if he was carrying what I got laughed right out of Illinois, he'd have been laughed right out of there. Now if Brady had what I got, he'd be considered. It would be horrible for him. Be uncomfortable limping. If Scott Haynes had what I got, he'd be dead. The body wouldn't know what to do. It's feeding another body. It would be like having a dead twin hanging off of him. He's only 52 and calls himself a full grown man.

[Brett]

Like who's the dude with the tail?

[Brady]

But I have seen in little people porn, couple dudes who are hanging. And it's proportionate. It might be what I've got. But anyway, I do this so you guys don't have to.

[Brett]

But then you hear people that work with mentally handicapped. That one lady that was the nurse, she said they're packing.

[Brady]

And what's the. What's the low iq? Yeah, yeah. That lady that called us and said that she was shocked that almost everybody she worked with in the mentally challenged department, the misses were all just beef down South Donovan email Montanas. Yeah. Huge. This dudes were just making big Montana. Yeah, that's what we're gonna call the guys with big dicks. Arby's employees. Because all they're doing is making big Montanas out of ladies.

[Brett]

Maybe that's where it started way back then.

[Brady]

You think Experience.

[Brett]

Yeah. Someone was born, you know, little Mr. In. In ancient Greek days.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You have a mentally handicapped kid.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Packing.

[Brady]

That's where they basically they were walking around with that thing and he showed it to everybody. Look at the size of that dummy's thing.

[Brett]

And that guy's dumb. If he has.

[Brady]

I like it. I like our theory that they're Arby's employees. I like that back in the olden days, the first one anyone saw outside was a retarded guy's dong. This guy says if Thriller had what you had, John, it would probably cure his limp. Maybe that's why Thriller limps. Maybe Thrillers packing one. He's pretty smart though. I think Thrillers, he's like Steeler to.

[John Holmberg]

Something down there, just hanging one side.

[Brady]

Thriller's probably average to just below. He's a preemie. They don't come out with full hogs. That's like a development thing that comes later anyway. And if his body's still fighting to figure out what the hell just happened for the first 10 or 2012 years, he's not developing a Beast. Although.

[John Holmberg]

Or they'll have him switch sides and see if the limp changes.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Kind of swing it to the other side.

[Brady]

Flip it over. Right. It'll fix your legs. All right, Brett, you've gone on long enough about Thriller Stick. You started. That'll just about do it. Out of you Donovan's? Yeah. Thanks a lot, man. I'm six seven. Thanks for telling our penis secrets. I was in the NBA locker room. Biggest. The two biggest I've ever seen was Jacques Vaughn, Sam Cassell. Both of them were just under 6ft tall. Sam Cassell is the biggest thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm not kidding when I say it. Ceiling fanned. One rotation while he was yelling at the team. It made a full grandfather clock 12 to 6. It was. It was a ridiculous maneuver. Maneuver. And it didn't go forward. It did a full circle. It brushed up against the tummy and knees and it made a circle because he was angry. And when he got angry, it spun like he was. Like it was a. It was a prop.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a Huey in Vietnam or something. Just this.

[Brady]

I can't tell you what I saw that day was human. Thought he was kidding. He came out of the shower and he was mad. The sons were 0 and 13. Shouting down the whole team. While the press is in there. Pal comes off. And he said it. I don't care who sees it. Stand here with my junk out and everything. Am I the only mother crying around here? One rotation. What the hell? He got so mad, it started an engine.

[Brett]

You could wash clothes with that.

[John Holmberg]

Your hat's flying off.

[Brady]

And a big bald guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark. His face got cut off by this thing. It was unbelievable. And then Jacques Vaughn had one that when he sat down on his bench to tie his shoes or to put socks on, the tip touched the ground. You heard me. And that was confirmed by Greg Ostertag, who we golfed with once, who said that they. I think his nickname was Anteater. But I don't know if that was the same guy because he could pick up bugs with. Was incredible. So, yeah, I've been in the NBA locker room. The smaller guys were the ones I was most impressed with. Craig Foster. I almost got him a. A sympathy card. But next time the Jazz are in town, I'm gonna give this guy a little. I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with. This isn't fair. And to be incredibly average at basketball. Seven feet tall and have no dick. Oh, gotta be rough. I Think it was. To be fair, I think it was Greg Fox. I'm not sure I remember the name properly. Was one of the giant guys. That was one of their.

[John Holmberg]

It might have white guys.

[Brady]

You know what? It may have actually been Mark Eaton, now that I think about it. He was 7 4. And that's the biggest human being I've ever been in a room with because he was. He was Sasquatch. He was also huge, like a giant man. But I don't remember seeing his dong. And yes, when you go into a professional sports locker room, that's all you do. You look around and compare that guy's huge. Oh, that guy surprised me.

[John Holmberg]

Oster tag was the bare minimum or what?

[Brady]

Oster tag was fine. Ulster tag had basically a human one. I remember the Utah Jets. Karl Malone. Shockingly average. Really pretty good. I'd take it if you wanted to swap out Carl Malone. Tommy, this is what you tuned in for on Monday is John's list of dicks. I've seen. I ranked him. I was in the Houston Rockets locker room and I remember Mario Ellie. Do you remember him as a three point sharpshooter? He had a smokestack thing was huge. With a steel mill, a blast furnace for balls.

[John Holmberg]

US Steel on the side of it.

[Brady]

And then of course, my classic story of going into the Coyotes locker room and seeing, I believe it was Jim Johnson. I always forget the name, but they just kept calling him Donkey and I couldn't figure out why. Interviewing the great Tepo Newman. And I hear Tepo go, you have any questions? Because I had forgotten to stop staring at Johnson's huge dork that came on. It was all shaved, head to toe, whole body shaved Mike right in Teppo's face. And all the other press had left except me. Do you have a question? And I'm like, oh, no, I'm sorry. And. And he watched me watch Jim walk out of the locker room. And that thing's banging away. And I'm like, I gotta go home and shave all my body hair. That makes a huge difference. And I did. And it didn't. I shaved everything off that day, went home and I looked down and I'm like, nope, it has nothing to do with it. It didn't add anything. And then I heard from people who work for the Coyotes that when they would give tours to people through the facility, they would try to encourage that dude to go into the showers and lather it up. It was Keith Tkachuk that used to try to encourage him to wander around naked in the Locker room. When they gave tours, you could see through it, dong and out. Because that thing was. And they called him Donkey. Next time I was in a locker room, hey, Donkey. And I'm like, well, there. I shaved for nothing. Anyway, I don't remember any of the Suns ones. I was in there at the. The Jason Kidd, Kevin Johnson era.

[John Holmberg]

I was in nothing Spectacular.

[Brett]

Lucy Blaylock, Dominique. But I don't remember them. They.

[Brady]

The Atlanta Hawks.

[Brett]

Yeah. Snoop Graham.

[Brady]

What were you doing in there?

[Brett]

Because he went to OU and I.

[Brady]

Knew him, and he got to tour the room.

[Brett]

Yeah. I don't know why they went in after that. The Suns played him. He says, come on down to the locker room.

[Brady]

Yeah. You saw Dominique.

[Brett]

Dominique and Mookie.

[Brady]

And there's a reason he could fly.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Wasn't that impressive? Well, you showed me Mark Grace's penis, and it was what? Yeah, show everyone. No, Brady, let's go down in the locker room. Like, really? And we went into the Diamondbacks locker room in the early 2000s, and they were all naked. And Brady and I were walking around. Around with Coach Brinley.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you being a Cubs fan, that must have been.

[Brady]

It was exciting. And I.

[Brett]

Why. That's why I got him out of the shower.

[Brady]

He walked out naked, walked by us, said, that's the classic story where he walked by me and said, how you doing? And I said, no problem about that loud to naked Mark Grace. Because I didn't know what else to say. And since then, I've always lived with that. Anyway, good way to start your Monday. First thing I heard when I got in the car this morning, John, this is a list of dicks I'd shave. I never said that. You misunderstood something.

[Brett]

What about someone like Tree Rollins?

[Brady]

Yeah. That's what. Like. Yeah. Why is his name Tree? Parents didn't name him Tree anyway, unless.

[John Holmberg]

His dad came out and he was.

[Brady]

Oh, Lord, this young man is not gonna be called Orlando as we had planned. His name is Tree.

[John Holmberg]

Ain't no Shrub neither.

[Brady]

No, no, no, no. That's a Tree. Oak. His name is either Oak or it's just Tree.

[Brett]

Jim Root.

[Brady]

Yeah. By the way, your mom is dead. Your mama died during childbirth. I don't know what. You broke out and you busted her in half. Anyway, so. Yeah. So there you go. That's. This morning's educational. The more you know.

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Brett]

The choice is simple Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off, all new firearms are 10% off and we have Ammo Inc. 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[John Holmberg]

Well it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and that's a fact.

[Brett]

You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at M&P guns.com.

[Brady]

It'S John Holmberg here and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com he knows this market up and down and his message is simple and straightforward. He wants to buy your house for cash as is, no repairs or upgrades and a firm final offer with no chance of canceling. If he moves it at all you get $5,000. So while the other guys come and go, Doug Hopkins is here to stay. Sell your your home right now and start the entire process [e-mail] or sing Hopkins 1, 800, now I'm getting questions. Says it's a good thing Carl Malone only had an average one like you said John, because it made it easier on all those Salt Lake teens he was having sex with. Yeah, well, the rumor was out there for a little while he liked him young. The back of that weird truck. Yeah, I did. I do remember 18 Wheeler. He had the 18 Wheeler. 18 and under Wheeler. I think they called it 17. It's a 17 or 16 Wheeler. Sometimes it's 7. 13. It is time for that Wake up song. What do you got over there, Burt?

[John Holmberg]

Now we're getting other cranks too, here. This guy did stuff. Did basically the same thing for football teams. He said Tori Holt was 10 inches soft.

[Brady]

Yeah, they're. Look, everybody can act like you wander through the locker room of a pro sports thing. I. I was in there when I. My friend Kevin, who tripped over his dick and died. We went into the Steelers, played the Cardinals and we had press passes and went into the Steelers locker room. And the two things I remember most was Cordell Stewart wandering around with his monster and Justin Strelzyk smoking in his uniform, which I thought was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. I didn't. And I even left. I'm like, I don't want to see Steeler Dicks. This is going to change how I watch this game. If any of my favorite players come out. If Greg Lloyd showed up around the corner and he had nothing, I would have had to get rid of the jersey. I needed that dude to be everything. If I ever saw James Harrison naked and it was unimpressive. Takes all the. And it just makes him angry for the wrong reason, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

Never look for your hero's dicks then.

[Brady]

That's right. Never meet your hero's dicks. That's the new. That's what I've always said. You know me. What do you got over there?

[John Holmberg]

All right. Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop with two locations. That brand new one right there off the haws trailhead on McDowell and Power Road, and of course the OG right there on Gilbert Road and Southern. You want to buy a new bike, you need your bike repaired. You want to rent a bike, they got you covered. And Action Ride Shop is the place to be. Actionrideshop.com Go visit Josh and the boys. They're going to take care of you.

[Brady]

On the list.

[John Holmberg]

On the list. Judas Priest, White Zombie, acdc, Rammstein, Village people in the Navy for the Army Parade. Guys twinking around out there with their waves.

[Brady]

Look, the wave was they needed to get rid of the wave.

[John Holmberg]

Whoever told army the pageant waves parade waves.

[Brady]

The. I just won, you know, and now let's welcome, Ms. Coconino County. It was that wave.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And your army guys. No waving Ozzy.

[John Holmberg]

Black Sabbath. Iron man for Melania. Holding it together. Together. Avenge Sevenfold Soil. Iron Maiden, Allison Chains. Faith no more.

[Brady]

Hell yeah. Yeah. There's some good ones up there we can go with. Let's do. Ah, the Buried Alive by Avenge is pretty solid. Yeah. Huh. Going to do that for no reason whatsoever. All right, we'll go with that. Avenge sending. How about that? That'll work out. And I got this email. Oh, I got a couple of them. This one's good because I moved to Indianapolis and I'm still listening every morning. The subject is Mexican in Indiana. Pretty sweet. You guys make my day every damn time with the best morning show in the world. And the only reason I'm reading this is for the next line. Bob and Tom. Yeah, but I've always.

[Brett]

Bob and Tom.

[Brady]

Bob and Tom. For those of you who don't know, Bob and Tom is a. Is a show in the. In the Midwest. It's a very popular morning show between Bob is one of the hosts and his partner is named Tom. And they're called the Bob and Tom Show. And they explain everything to degrees. You can't even like just minutiae down to the. And minutia basically means the smaller detail. Smaller detail is the definition. Is that not right, Tom? Yes. And also. Thank you, Tom. And. And that's when that's. Laughter usually happens after it's joke. Yeah. Bob and Tom, Mexican in Indiana.

[John Holmberg]

Are they still around?

[Brady]

I think so. Oh yeah. It says big shout out to all the homies and family. 98 KUPD rocks. Thank you, guys. Ariba Mexico. David, the Mexican in Indiana, give him some.

[John Holmberg]

You need some lasers or something?

[Brady]

Yeah, you know what? You're not wrong, Brett. This dude needs a little peoline treatment in the morning for you in Indiana. There you go. That's the best laser we've got. That's terrifying. So, yeah, so there you go. If you're a Mexican in Indiana, man, you got way north. They're gonna deport you. It's gonna take them forever. But yeah, it's a long walk. And then another guy says he was at lunch. Listen, listen to this. Says I was at lunch today and I heard a guy I say immediately wanted to talk to a manager. It was an old man man complaining that earlier in the week he had chipped his tooth while he had eaten a piece of garlic flatbread. And he'd gone to the dentist and it turns out he needed a root Canal. It was costing him 1100 bucks. He said, you're paying for it. A week earlier, he chips his tooth, goes to the dentist, gets it all fixed up, goes back and builds the restaurant. Said all I could think about was your old Tony Roma stories about your old boss. So I understand you're looking for something free. Reality was the tooth was already goner. By looking at the guy. If he'd eaten soup, it would have fallen out and gotten the same result that he's trashing a respected establishment. Just thought I'd share. Best regards, Eric. Eric, tell us what restaurant this is. We can support them. If you chip your tooth at a restaurant, you don't say anything right there. Yeah.

[Brett]

A week later.

[Brady]

A week later, you can't. You can't get back in and bill people. And by the way, if you've got soft teeth, don't eat garlic bread. A bolt in my food immediately. I understand that John's major your night a living hell. He's ruined your life. How can I help? My guess is a free item. We're not here for anything free. We just wanted to let the management know that we're not satisfied. Well, geez. Let's run down the ways we find satisfaction. One free item. Two multiple free items. I would. Bill Osborne would make people feel terrible for having a bad night. The young lad is trying his hardest, and he ruined your life. I'm sorry. So guess what? The meal you hated is on us.

[Brett]

There was a story last week. This waitress, it was on tik tok, and the couple basically kept sending stuff back. They eat part. Part of the entree. Seven meals. Yeah, that's on her.

[Brady]

Two. It's on the waitress. Yeah, yeah. You gotta. You just gotta go. Hey, you guys need to leave.

[Brett]

I know what you're doing here.

[Brady]

You need to. You're getting a full meal. You're getting it one bite at a time. And by the way, in a weird way, if she did it seven times, you ate seven man loads.

[Brett]

Oh.

[Brady]

Because there's nothing about. That waitress wasn't doing. Doing that because she was helpful. She was doing it because she had help in the kitchen going, you know what? You want to send her back, that's fine by me.

[John Holmberg]

Guys in the kitchen were smoking cigarettes afterwards, they just blew so many times. Blew up so many times.

[Brady]

They had to close that kitchen. Those dudes were wheelchairs. After what they did to that lady's meal. Says, oh, my God. John said he would take Carl Malone's. Explains a lot. Maybe John's dad was right to Fear that he was interested in the d. I didn't say I'd take Carl Malone that way. I said I'd switch with him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he didn't say he would take.

[Brady]

I didn't say. I didn't say I was in the Utah Jazz locker room and I'd take Carl Malone's way. I didn't say that. I said I'd swap out his was better than mine, mind. That's what I was saying, you pervert. Grow up. Can't we talk about. Can't we talk about dicks for 30 minutes? And you people, I swear, how do we make this better on every. A free item? I suppose nothing makes a complainer feel better, but, yeah, if you send your food back once, you're risking it twice. Rice, you're eating. You're eating Brady's grilled cheese. You just. You might as well just go attach your lips to the tap and start blowing, because that is what you're getting. Stupid. Never, ever, ever.

[John Holmberg]

Chef Peter north in the back has. Has made you a special meal tonight.

[Brady]

So excited to help you, too, because it feels good to make your food cream fresh. Oh, man. Never. If you don't like what you got, just push it away. There was nothing worse than working at Tony Roma's and having somebody, and it was almost always women. I'll tell you this. That would polish off almost the whole thing and then go, that was terrible. And then I go, let me go get my manager, because he handled it better than me. For terrible, it sure seemed to knock it down. Did you. Were you not sure until the 14th bite whether or not you liked this? You know what? I don't need you making me feel bad. This food was subpar at best, and I was starving. It's like you powered through. Ma' am, would you like that for free? That's my guess. And they would. They'd take the freebie, and every time, the same answer when you gave him some. We weren't looking for anything free. All right, well, you got it. Here's some gift cards to come back too. And that's his test. Bill's big test was, if it was so bad, you would never come back, Right? If I ate food that sucked, I'm like, we're not coming. Coming back here. And he would go back to him to prove they were liars. Here's $40 in gift cards for next time you're here. Oh, well, we didn't. And they'd be back, like, two days later. I'm like, it was so bad. But you came back. It's the same thing as free. And you know what to do to their food, right? Oh, yeah. I'm not gonna do that. There's something. Consuelo. Chris. Chris. Chris. Table 32 needs special sauce.

[John Holmberg]

Valenzuelos are back there.

[Brady]

See Mr. Osborne. You got him. They were 32. Ejaculate. That's right. Don't shut.

[John Holmberg]

Chris.

[Brady]

Chris said underlay. He didn't say ejaculate. Chris, what do you. We have better code words than that. I'm sorry. And the dream was when somebody who was a complainer would come back with their gift cards and order soup. Oh, so much. You can complain do to soup. Anyway, I'm just letting people know you've probably eaten a lot of bodily food, but nobody more than Brady ordering grilled cheese at McDonald's. I've never heard anything worse in my life. It's Buried Alive. It's Avenged Sevenfold. It's your Wake up song. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? All right. Nirvana is in front of you right there. Getting Monday going as fast as we possibly can get out of it. Go stand in the heat. It's what we do. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report, and it's brought to you by our friends at All Pro Show Shade. Oh, my God. A shade a necessity at this point. You hop in on that, you've got your shades covering up a hot tub, too, right? No, it's not in the same spot.

[Brett]

Hot tub is kind of on the one side of the play that it only gets a afternoon sun, so it's.

[Brady]

Not really late afternoon. Because if you've got a hot tub and it's in direct, there's nothing better than shading that up. You got to get that in there because that water's already bugged, wobbly. All Pro shade will cover you up. Whatever you need out there. If you got your patio needs more shade. You got a hot tub needs shade. You got a little play pad for the kids need shade. Dogs, whatever, create some shade. It's never bad in Arizona to have more shade. All pro shade.com will take care of you. Brady reported.

[Brett]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[Dick Toledo]

Hi.

[Brett]

Happy National Fudge Day and National Freight Fresh Veggies Day.

[Brady]

You hated saying that. Look at your face. Cringed. You went from fudge to basically should.

[Brett]

Have started the other way around, maybe.

[Brady]

Yeah. Celebrate with the fudge. Don't break that out first and then bring it.

[John Holmberg]

KDKB says celebrate with a fudge.

[Brady]

It's their T shirt. By the way, I came up with an idea. Maybe I should keep this to myself for a second. To where we take all of those things. We say, that's a great band name, and then that listener that lists them for us, and we make concert T shirts out of those fake bands that we've created and then try to sell them on a website and then raise money for, like, charities and stuff. Because going through the list, I. We. I was dying the other day. Like, oh, my God. And then, you know, you put it in. AI can make festival shirts with, like, multiple bands together. We could do all sorts of cool concert shirts. Cause let's be honest, the concert shirt, it's lost its way. There aren't any good ones anymore. And the only time you're interested in it is one of those into the Pit bands that has a terrible word, but it's all. It just looks like somebody's. It looks like the inside of a pumpkin all the time with the writing. It's all we need some fun concert shirts again.

[John Holmberg]

Plus, they're like $70 at the shows now. These concert shirts are good. Getting ridiculous.

[Brady]

But you can make up stories. Like, you can go out to, like, a place to eat and somebody be like, what. What's your shirt saying? Oh, it says Grandma's Christmas mishap. Like, what's that? Oh, I saw them over at Van Buren. It's an indie band. They're amazing. Should check it out. And they just send people in wild goose chases in the Internet forever. And we got hundreds of them. We picked some of the best ones. We've said that at least two, three times a week.

[John Holmberg]

Week.

[Brady]

Every week for the last couple years. That's a great band name.

[Brett]

And man could raise additional money just dropping a couple AI singles on a few.

[Brady]

Sure. Dump a couple out there and then, you know, encourage the listeners. If you've got a favorite band name and we buy the shirt and, you know, you make some songs with them and create your own life. Nothing's real anymore. This is great.

[Brett]

Couple of basis. Fun fact X. Rats can laugh.

[Brady]

Sure.

[Brett]

We just can't hear it because it's not in our audible range.

[Brady]

Then how do we know they have.

[Brett]

A little video attached to this fun fact? They can. You can watch a rat laugh, miked.

[Brady]

It up, but we can't hear it. Oh, yeah. Super mic On.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And what makes a rat laugh? Farts.

[Brett]

The one was tickling its belly.

[Brady]

Oh, that's kind of cute. So they have a sense of humor then?

[Brett]

Yeah, they showed them when they're. And then another one. They're playing with each other.

[Brady]

You know, when they don't laugh, Brady, that's when we fire diseases into them to see how they react. I bet you they stop laughing that day.

[Brett]

There's no laughing.

[Brady]

You know when they don't laugh is when they're thrown into a tank with snakes.

[Brett]

They should also throw that in there. And they can also cry.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, it's the great. It's that moment in Family Guy when the lobsters shoved Peter's head into the boiling water and he started to scream. And the one lobster looked and he, he goes, it's okay. That's just air escaping. If you've ever. I will never eat a lobster out of the tank ever. Strictly because I've watched it happen. They scream. That is not air escaping. That is a living thing being put in boiling water.

[Brett]

Well, I got a story for you.

[Brady]

I don't care what scientists have, you know, they don't have a nervous system and they scream. They're aware that that water isn't right. And I, I can't do it. I'll eat lobster if I don't see it. I don't want to watch it. I don't want to watch how the sausage gets made. I certainly don't understand picking out the living thing and then listening to it die.

[Brett]

And it is interesting that lobsters become premium. It's a high scaled food, basically.

[Brady]

But it was originally, oh, way back in the day we have a prison food, but it's again, we're looking at morons back then. I, I hate when people always go back and go, this was the original thing. We're talking about people who were so stupid.

[Brett]

Well, it was easy.

[Brady]

They were just sitting there. Yeah, you reach in, you grab one. They gave it to prisoners. They didn't have the drawn butter. They didn't know how to prepare it properly. So yeah, back then, dummies made lobster bad. We figured out a way to make it a delicacy.

[Brett]

Bill Lear, the guy who invented the Learjet, also invented eight track tape player. But more importantly, one of his daughters was named Shanda.

[Brady]

That's right, Chandelier. He was black. Are you sure?

[Brett]

All humans have 99.9% of the same DNA.

[Brady]

We're all inbred. So everybody's your dad. Toledo. It's okay.

[Brett]

This is Continue on your lobster talk. There's a place in Long island called Peter's Clam Bar. They celebrated the National Lobster Day on Sunday and released a 21 pound lobster back into the Atlantic Ocean. His name was Laurent Lorenzo and he'd been in their tank for years.

[Brady]

Years.

[Brett]

They think he's around 110 years old. They also said he they did it to celebrate Father's Day. Let's assume he's got some kids running around out there.

[Brady]

They boiled him up.

[Brett]

No, they released him in the Atlantic.

[John Holmberg]

He's probably took him out immediately.

[Brady]

Like he's been in a restaurant. Yeah, he's got been hand feeding him for however long. Great idea. Dumbass asses. He's probably 110. Fend for yourself, dummy. By the way, a guy says stepsisters pubes stuck in the dryer tour. I would like to order two of those please. Already people are buying my concert shirts.

[Brett]

A group of LSU students invented some new car seat tech to prevent babies from being left in the hot cars. They heard that most deaths happen because. Because people forget their baby when they're with them. So they've set up an app that basically links your phone sets off an alarm when you're too far away from the child in the seat.

[Brady]

Oh, so you so an attempt to murder your kid. You, you're now told no, you can't.

[Brett]

You leave and it's, you know, whatever, five feet away your phone goes off.

[Brady]

Why don't you just put something you need on its leg lap like your wallet or your keys or something. Right.

[Brett]

It's not a bad idea.

[Brady]

I mean, I want to tell you how to raise your baby. If it's been a problem that you keep forgetting it in the car, I don't think you like it that much.

[John Holmberg]

Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for professional grade tools for over 60 years.

[Brady]

Family owned for three generations, they offer.

[John Holmberg]

The largest selection of power tools from.

[Brady]

Milwaukee, Makita, DeWalt and more.

[John Holmberg]

They also specialize in tool repair including hydraulics like Burndy and commercial electric contractor tools as well as having a state.

[Brady]

Of the art on site glove testing facility.

[John Holmberg]

Visit Fisher Tools in store or [e-mail] and use promo code KUPD for 10% off your order.

[Brady]

Fisher Tools brands you know, service you trust. Ready to beat the heat? Hooters is making waves with our new sun surfin seafood deals. For a limited time, cool down with an ice cold sun cruiser starting at just $5 and dive into amazing shrimp specials Monday through Saturday. Like a dozen buffalo shrimp for only $12. Catch our sensational crab leg sundaes where you can add an extra half pound for just $9 when you order a full pound. We'll see you this summer at Hoop Hooters. But hurry before these hot deals sail away. Hooters. More than just wings.

[Dick Toledo]

Nothing like summer heat and monsoon season to make you see the flaws in your home's exterior. It's Dick Tolittle for Robo painting. My house is nine years old and the ugly builder paint was really beginning to show. Plus fading and chipping everywhere. Well, Robo painting's experience crew came out and in two days had my house looking brand new. Nothing freshens up the look of your house like fresh paint. Mention me for a free Robo painting estimate and ask for the HMS discount if you move forward with them. With hundreds of five star Google reviews, including mine. Go to robopainting.com and get your house refreshed today.

[Brady]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Like, for me, my dogs. And I say this with the hopes that it never happens. I am hyper aware they're back there.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Like, I am scared to death of leaving anything in the car.

[Dick Toledo]

Use the little doggy seat belts we.

[Brady]

Have in the past. Those. I think those would kill the dog.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm worried about one because they're. The one that we have is supposed to go around the headset.

[Brady]

Yeah. I think it's designed to decapitate it.

[Dick Toledo]

Looks like it's gonna.

[Brady]

Yeah. Quick kill.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

There's the one that's. It's a harness.

[Brett]

We have one that goes into the buckle part and the base of the seat.

[Brady]

Yeah. But it's a harness around his. Around the chest. But I have a feeling if you stop fest it would just crush the rib cage. It's not forgiving.

[Dick Toledo]

No, not at all.

[Brady]

I think I just let him fly around.

[Brett]

The amusement park that I was. Scooby Doo. Kings Island.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Is in the news because they've been dealing with masses of cicadias. Cicadas.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

This is the time of year they start rolling out. So they've put up signs up on the roller coasters. Please keep your mouth shut.

[Brady]

Yeah. Cause you're gonna eat locusts.

[Brett]

Taking them in.

[Brady]

Who still rides around when the biblical skies are all over Ohio?

[Brett]

Oh, my gosh. Mean, I went back probably three years ago. I posted a video. It was a. They're piled three or four inches deep. The base of this tree.

[Brady]

They're just everywhere.

[Brett]

That sounds thousands, millions of them.

[Brady]

I. I believe Brady Made that video.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Brady]

Bugs piled sleep.

[Brett]

It was an amazing wild America.

[Brady]

The wicked witch's poppy field's got nothing on your Instagram page.

[Brett]

Sleep sleep. Terminex just released it.

[Brady]

Bill Cosby uses Brady's page to get to Camille. Now we can't use the pills anymore, you see. So let's do the boss KUPD and put you out. Suck on your toes.

[Brett]

Terminix released its list of the top bedbug infested cities. You'll be happy to know that that not one Arizona city too hot here for bedbugs.

[Brady]

At least Phoenix I don't. You know, Sholo has them. They just don't care. I don't think they notice in some cities like Hila Bend has tons of bedbugs but that's nothing compared to the meth scabs. So they didn't even notice they didn't make the list. Yeah, they're there but no who's looking? Who's ever what investigator, what scientist is going to go comb through the beds of Gila river or Gila Bend. Nobody. No, nobody's going to go down.

[Brett]

You're right. Most of the people just leave at too there's the only reason why they can make the list. It's where they get called the most.

[Brady]

With hotels and stuff. Right?

[Brett]

Yeah. Hotels or just you know, what city am I getting the most calls about Bedbugs.

[Brady]

Yeah, you're not getting. You're not getting most of show low's hotels examined for bedbugs. It just is.

[Brett]

This 19 year old dude from New York named Cody Mallon was arrested early Sunday or Saturday morning after he broke into a former correctional facility. He crawled through a fence in the premier in the perimeter fencing, entered the premises somehow trapped himself in one of the cells. He kind of freaked out so much that he called the police to help him out. The cops showed up Freedom from the storm cell then arrested him from criminal trespassing. He basically told him I was there to take some selfies for my social.

[Brady]

That's a good excuse. That's what everybody's doing. Somebody says Brady used to keep his pizza in its car seat next to Kirby so he'd never forget. Did you ever block up your pizza?

[Brett]

Whatever. She'd have the sauce motos onto the baby chair.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's smart. Sas Moto. Sas Moto's on the baby chair. I'm trying to make. That's an album name that started started like I'd heard that before but no.

[Brett]

Heims is trying to normalize with a New ad, ad campaign Normalize ketchup with eggs.

[John Holmberg]

That's nothing new. I mean, I've heard that before and.

[Brady]

People have done that.

[Brett]

It partnered with 100 Waffle Houses around the country. Country changed the labels on their bottles.

[Brady]

To say breakfast ketchup and dummies ate it up.

[Brett]

Around 50 diners across the US will also have limited edition bottles shaped like maple syrup bottles.

[Brady]

And you just pound out the ketchup onto your eggs and you're like, it's different. Yeah, but it's the same exact stuff. And Heinz is admitting it.

[Brett]

Heinz claims one in four people use ketchup at breakfast. Ketchup. Breakfast should be the norm, not the exception.

[Brady]

All right. What are they yelling at us for?

[Brett]

Yeah, I didn't think it was like anything.

[Brady]

People put like hot sauce. Hot sauce, salsa. All right. That's.

[Dick Toledo]

If you got hash browns, you got ketchup all over your place.

[Brady]

That's true. Didn't think of that.

[Brett]

And cup noodles just released for a limited time. Dill pickle ramen.

[Brady]

You're real stickler for that language. I've noticed that. When it's cup noodles. Because it's not cup. Oh, Noodles like everybody calls it. Brady stays strong with that. He gets mad when we correct him on other words that he butchers.

[Brett]

I always thought it went back and forth. I thought at one time it was.

[Brady]

He'S strong on cup noodles. You don't want to piss off the cup noodle people.

[Brett]

Batman know your brand.

[John Holmberg]

Batman wants to put in a request for a shirt too.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

He wants the dude soup in the meat tube shirt.

[Brady]

Dude soup in the meat tubes. Dude, soup in the meat tube is a strong. That's going in the top five. That's going to be one of our higher priced shirts.

[John Holmberg]

Premium for that one.

[Brady]

Yeah. There's some good ones on other headliners.

[Dick Toledo]

Top of the concert shirt.

[Brady]

People are already requesting the ones they want. Napalm, bukake and. Oh, this guy has his own. This is his. That. We didn't even come up with that. That was his home. Yeah, there's plenty of them. I've got the stepsisters. Pubes is the. That's a top fiver. Yeah. I'm looking at all sorts of people. They're firing off their suggestions. Yeah, I think we got something there. It's got to get some T shirts. Oh yeah. And learn how to print them. And then have AI build us the. The artwork so they're not cheap. And then just have like you fest 2024 ufest. That never happened. And Then you can lie and say you were there.

[Dick Toledo]

Brought to you by.

[Brady]

Let's not go crazy. We don't want to make them all nascar. They don't have. That's the best part. It doesn't need advertising. Just on the bottom it says on.

[Brett]

The cup noodle stage.

[Brady]

Yeah. No, no. He's so st. He's hungry.

[Dick Toledo]

It would be on your baconator cheeses.

[John Holmberg]

Big Food again.

[Brady]

Big Food's at it again. Pushing his agenda.

[Brett]

By the way, that's the first.

[Brady]

There's another shirt that's going to go out. Those are the 5xls. Big food.

[Dick Toledo]

Big Food.

[Brady]

Push the agenda.

[Dick Toledo]

We have our listeners that always want the big shirts.

[Brady]

Yeah. Big. Yeah. You want that? Big food's gonna sell 5ers.

[Brett]

Big food got a couple of radio videos.

[Dick Toledo]

Is it Don't Believe in Big Food?

[Brady]

No. I am Big Food. I am Big Food.

[Brett]

First one's Little.

[Dick Toledo]

Big Food lies to you.

[Brady]

Big Food. Yeah, Big Food lies. Now you can a chance they'd be for Big Food.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, that's true.

[Brady]

Yeah, we're trying to, like, in order for Big Food to be like an anti. They'd have to be anorexic shirts for, like, Little People. Big Food is like Brady's Big Food. Like, he represents the big food movement that's trying to shove garbage in your mouth all the time.

[Dick Toledo]

So the small shirts for Big Food would have the circle with the slash.

[Brady]

Yeah. Against Big. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. A piece of broccoli with the Ghostbusters.

[Brady]

That's what it is. Big Food.

[Brett]

First one's a gorilla saving its young against a. Out of the jaws of a croc.

[Brady]

Oh, geez. I'm looking right at it. There's a croc's got its. Oh, the gorilla. Okay. Good luck. 100 men. What's hanging off the back of that gorilla's butt?

[Brett]

What is that package?

[John Holmberg]

Maybe rosebud.

[Brady]

Nice rosebud. Man, oh, man.

[Dick Toledo]

He bit the croc in the nose.

[John Holmberg]

It could be the mom. Could be the mom.

[Brady]

It might. Does he like. He does. He bites the crocodile's face and then.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, dude.

[Brady]

Rips that thing out of the crocodile's mouth. And the croc has no chance by A.I.

[Dick Toledo]

Again.

[Brett]

Oh, is this A.I. okay. I wasn't sure.

[Brady]

All right, dude, standing on a platform being craned up. Yeah. This would have been on the news. Brady there. Watch out.

[Brett]

It's going down.

[Brady]

It's pretty good. I don't know. It's going down, but not one of those dudes would have jumped off of that thing. It's A big cement.

[Dick Toledo]

It's decent AI but it is. The physics aren't right, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

And there's fitted all the way down, bro.

[Brady]

There's absolutely no background either. It's just a white background, like a movie set. The future is not for you, Brady.

[Brett]

Again.

[Dick Toledo]

Lock up your accounts.

[Brady]

Here's a unicorn.

[Brett]

This is an A.I.

[Brady]

Yeah, we'll see.

[Dick Toledo]

No, this one's good.

[Brett]

What is having a tough time?

[Brady]

Oh, it's a bull smushing a dude.

[Brett]

In a mud pit.

[Brady]

Yeah, this was a bad idea to begin with. They decided to bullfight in a full mud.

[Brett]

Still hangs onto his drink there. I'm not helping him.

[Brady]

What kind of bull is that, by the way? Thing's got 14 inch horns.

[Dick Toledo]

I think it's a yak.

[Brady]

Oh, that one made some work. What country is this?

[Dick Toledo]

It's probably on my passport.

[Brett]

It is?

[Brady]

Yeah. This is where Toledo travels. It looks like Scotland with all the mud.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, look at the writing.

[Brady]

Good. And the music. Yeah. I feel like I'm watching White Orchid.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Ball awful. God. Why would you buy a ticket? If I won that on a game show, I'd take the cash equivalent.

[Dick Toledo]

We had a great time.

[Brady]

H. Of course you did. You like crappy trips.

[Dick Toledo]

We saw none of that.

[Brady]

Well, there's always next time.

[Dick Toledo]

Good point.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Brad, he's not allowed to go anymore.

[Brady]

Remember, they can't go to third world countries. And you're planning one next year?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

To the same place. Place?

[Brett]

No.

[Brady]

Where? No.

[Dick Toledo]

Europe or Belize.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Is Belize third?

[Brett]

Nope.

[Brady]

No, please are.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just making sure.

[Brady]

No more of those Third world. He came back so sick. We all were puking, like for weeks after Toledo's lady boy flu came back. You're not allowed in third world countries. When we get the map, we got to see your itinerary and we take a look at the map. Second world's out too, by the way.

[Dick Toledo]

What do you mean, second world?

[Brett]

No, second Third world.

[Brady]

First world only first world. You're only allowed in first world countries. Oh, yeah. You're not even allowed to travel to Albuquerque.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, I wouldn't go.

[Brady]

No more trips to Mexico. We're all healthy. Let's keep it that way.

[John Holmberg]

No more lady boy flu coming.

[Brady]

No more of that stuff. All right?

[John Holmberg]

This guy's got nothing on Bob Ross.

[Brady]

All right? Guy in a weird hat. Hat. He's painting. Oh, very muscular man. Just stripped off all of his clothes and there's this huge dong and he's in an art studio.

[Brett]

That dude's dumb.

[Brady]

Yeah, he is. That dude is mentally. That thing's huge. All right. Is he going to paint with it, Brad? Yep. Oh, he sure is. He's using his penis as a paintbrush. This guy's ripped.

[Brett]

Nice to.

[Brady]

And he's got. He's got a paint sock over the. Yeah. Okay. And then. And then Jorn Van Der Sloot tells us he's happy about it. He does these paintings. I gotta tell you what. Wow, this is a fantastic painting. The guy's wiener. Brett. We should put this up on our Facebook page, because this is art. It's not pornography at all. Let's leave.

[John Holmberg]

Make that decision. I don't know if they're gonna.

[Brady]

I think in the background, there's a painting of me.

[Dick Toledo]

I did see that.

[Brady]

Oh, my.

[Dick Toledo]

Right there.

[Brady]

Yeah, the bald guy. Pretty sure there's a painting of me. I didn't say it was perfect. He painted it with his dick Toledo, for God's sakes. Can't be perfect. Wow. That is the most amazing thing I've ever seen anybody do with a penis.

[Brett]

Get out.

[Brady]

He just painted that guy in about two minutes.

[John Holmberg]

They had a touch up there, too.

[Brady]

Yeah, at the end, he just whited out a little. Look at the size of that thing. I'm with. You paint houses with that thing.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't need to paint portraits.

[Brady]

He just spitting his hand at the end. Did you see that?

[Brett]

It was drying up on him, I guess.

[Brady]

What's his name?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady]

You gotta get that guy's name. Is there a pig?

[Brett]

We can get Pablo Picasso.

[Brady]

Sometimes. Damn it. I hate when they land. I'm with me. Like, I hate when they're bad and I still laugh. All right, Pablo. Oh, all right. We've taken a drastic turn. There is a person on the ground covered in diarrhea and vomit. I don't know. It looks corpsey. No, there's a. There's a black. There's a black. And there's diarrhea and vomit being spread all over this person's body and mouth. Show that again because I didn't get to see the beginning.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure, no problem.

[Brady]

I just heard it. Oh, what's.

[Brett]

Wow.

[Brady]

Man. She goes bulimic. You know, she's so fat and so good at making herself throw up. Oh, she's good. Oh, I didn't see that. She. Farmer blows into his mouth, which is probably. And then just takes all the diarrhea off his chest and starts feeding him. Oh, my God. Jesus. I can't be real.

[Brett]

That day after.

[Brady]

I hope Brady's right. There's a background. The farmer's blow is the worst part of it. The dude's covered in diarrhea. She throws up on his face. And then farmers blows. And that's where I almost went out.

[Brett]

All right, I gotta go to the hospital after that.

[John Holmberg]

This one's entitled, A man can only dream of a woman this. Perfect.

[Brady]

Perfect. Okay. She's got no legs, no arms. She has no legs and no arms. And she's performing a mouth hug. And now the guy's on top of the thing. He didn't even take his clothes off.

[Brett]

The ends of her legs are, like, capped off like sausages.

[Brady]

And they got, like, little socks. Yeah, they look like. Hey, you're right.

[Dick Toledo]

Socks on her.

[Brady]

No, she does.

[John Holmberg]

I think she does, because right here.

[Brady]

Probably for circulation.

[Brett]

I don't know. Yeah, it's like a nice sausage.

[Brady]

And then she's got, like, a. Like a bonobo's nose hanging off of her vagina. What was that?

[John Holmberg]

All right, put your seat belts on.

[Brady]

Okay, here we go. What in the world is that? It's an electronic device attached over a penis with.

[John Holmberg]

With an ashtray on top.

[Brady]

With an ashtray on it. His penis is in there. He's smoking. He's about to put the cigarette out on the tip of his leg, and it's in some sort of contraption with a bunch of needles jammed in it already.

[Brett]

Acupuncture on the.

[Brady]

And then he's got. Oh, what in the hell? And it's attached to some electrodes, so those things are electrified. The. The. That he's dry needling his own genitals. And then for no reason at all, he just puts a. A. A cigarette. I can't watch that twice. A little padlock. That's some secretions from all the poked holes. You poke holes in your balls when it's in a vise and it tends to. To leak. Oh, my God, Brett. What happened this weekend? There's more.

[John Holmberg]

Talk to the boys.

[Brady]

Whoa.

[Brett]

It's got a suspension fest.

[Brady]

Good Lord. This lady's got bike hooks. Oh, and there's a candle. They're dripping a candle onto her. Onto her girl bits. And it's spread open with these bike hooks.

[Dick Toledo]

It's her gasping or her vagina that's gasping.

[Brady]

Her vagina's screaming for help. And then a long dinner candle is. Is being lit and dripped onto it. Jesus Christ. Oh, this world. Hello, Monday world. I don't want to be with you people anymore. More. What's going on out there right now, Brady? Somebody's carving off some candle wax or something. Jesus. O those were rough. That's a rough Monday.

[Brett]

Man.

[Brady]

All right. Thanks, Bert. T8.

[Brett]

Was that from Russ, our contestant on Friday?

[Brady]

Yeah, that's one of his. His nine people back at Sun City, his house at Sun Lakes. It's 98 KUPD. There goes your Brady Report. I need a towel. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You know how we all have that one friend we go to with all our financial questions? I'm talking the one who gives you advice like no one else can. Well, meet Experian, your bff. And by that I mean big financial friend. I'm telling you, Experian is gonna be your go to app when it comes to taking control of your finances. And this big financial friend is always there for you. Just hanging out on your phone where we all kinda are. Anyway, Experian has a bunch of legit ways to help you save. And get this, the Experian app lets you check your FICO score. Matches you with credit cards and a bunch more totally BFF kinda things to help you manage your finances. Bet your other BFFs can't do all that, huh? Anyway, it's easy to have this big financial friend by your side. Just download the Experian app and get started for free. Trust me, you'll be up to speed with this BFF in no time. Results will vary. Credit offers, approvals and reward Programs based on FICO score 8 model and subject to lender terms. Offers not available in all states. See experian.com for details. Craving your next action packed adventure? Audible delivers thrills of every kind on your command. Like Project Hail Mary by Andy we where a lone astronaut must save humanity from extinction. Narrated with stunning intensity by Ray Porter. From electrifying suspense and daring quests to spine tingling horror and romance and far off realms, unleash your adventure aside with gripping titles that'll keep you guessing. Discover exclusive Audible originals, hotly anticipated new releases and must listen bestsellers that hook you from the first minute. Because Audible knows there's no greater thrill than the one that speaks to you. Discover what lies beyond the edge of your seat. Start your free 30 day trial at audible.com wondery us that's audible.com wondery us. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? And I'm getting a lot of emails from people. I didn't. I didn't want this to leak out just in case we don't pull it off. Off. But it is a great idea. As often as we say that's a great band name to put together fake band shirts is a. You know these band names that we got. And Devin Reek is the listener that always keeps a tally on our band names and at the end of the year sends us the list. Like I'm going through last year's list. I think I would buy a post menopausal Hitler shirt. I like that one a lot. Pimp Mom. The Bones of Amelia. Eric Heart. These are great band names. Fiddling hobo. C word. T only it's whale rape.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't remember that.

[Brady]

I don't either. That one of the. That one evidently happened. A scientist discovered the first gay whales were banging it out. But I had suggested that maybe the scientists were wrong and they were just witnessing a horrible whale whale rape. Milk and rubes. Backwoods sperm. Colon striking cobra, Rosebud, Central animal anus. Ghost loads. Bumping rosebuds. I mean we've got. I mean it's just a fake abifida. I don't even know what we were talking about that day but Cherry poppin Muslims. I mean we'd sell a lot of shirts. This guy says T shirts are a million dollar idea and the model you suggested could benefit a lot of people. I run an arts nonprofit in Phoenix and done screen printing and graphic design in the past. I would love to coordinate with you and take the lead on the T shirt project. We get some really nice ones printed by local shops and our non profit would be down to purchasing printing equipment if things really take off. I'd love to chat more. Brad. We've already got a guy. Hold on to that.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep, but I'll hold on to that.

[Brady]

We got people. Kansas City Sushi, Bobcat chicken, Centurion spit, Grandma's side, Squish. I mean we've got loads of these. And that's just some of last year's daddy's Little Debbies. Remember? A little. There's a ton of them in here. Black guy, Kryptonite, Stingray. Jesus. Ooh, I like that one. Oats of Wham. Huh. That's weird. Yeah, there's a lot of them here. So we've got. We've got options. We can put a bunch of them together and if Devin's out there right now and you're listening, we'd like an abbreviated half the year list. We've had a bunch of good ones this year. I can't. That's why you have to have somebody keep an eye on it for Us.

[Dick Toledo]

Devon, you can email that one to me.

[Brady]

Why I can?

[Dick Toledo]

Well, you can email to all of us, but if I have a copy, I can deal with the person I've been talking.

[Brady]

Oh, that's true. You can do that. Yeah. I thought you were just saying I was irresponsible. I took offense to that immediately.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, you did.

[Brady]

Immediately like, why I can do it. Email it to me. Ignore him. Yeah, there's plenty of good ones on there. Also, on a day like today, emails are, you know, abound on silly things. And it's always. We just asked ourselves, why are some of the flags in our parking lot at half staff? Some not. A guy reminds us. It says, I normally send random dumb emails to you, but today is important. On June 2nd, Officer Gabriel Fascio. Yeah. Was shot in the line of duty. He was a family friend and a co worker to my dad. And everyone is feeling the effects of this tragedy. I hope that you would be able to put on a message about how important and valued the work of our law enforcement is and also about how great a guy Gabriel was. He always made everyone laugh and was the life of the party. I can't put into words how much he will be missed and how much joy he brought to the people around him. There are links for donations you can find. And we can find it and put it up on our Facebook page. I've got it here for his family to help with funeral arrangements. Give him a little relief in this awful time. Thank you very much and I hope this reaches you, Victor. Good job, Victor. And that's very true.

[Dick Toledo]

I believe the funeral is this week.

[Brady]

Too, because I think it's today.

[Dick Toledo]

We live in Mesa and they sent out notices about the roads being shut down. Down, I think around 10.

[Brady]

Yeah. It's today. They're gathering together to honor of Hatchet Junction police officer who died during a fatal shooting today. Central Christian Church. Yeah. Is that Mesa? Yeah. Okay. Anyway. Oh, yeah, it's on Idaho Road. They're going to have procession up Idaho Road and down Superstition Boulevard. So.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. So again, little tip of the cap to the law enforcement that's out there right now and a thank you to all those guys who do that of stuff for us, things we don't like doing. One thing I noticed yesterday, going to the Diamondbacks game, something unsung about police officers that we don't ever talk about. They don't have summer uniforms.

[Dick Toledo]

No.

[Brady]

I was looking at the dude yesterday walking to the Diamondbacks game and I'm like, man, you are all decked out and what you had on in December. We got to get like a light collie pot and blend for these guys. Poly cotton or collie potton? Poly cotton and. Yeah, and make it a little cooler. They're in those huge wool suits. They looked miserable. Miserable. Directing traffic in 112 degrees. As I'm walking over to the ballpark, I'm like, this just sucks.

[John Holmberg]

Funeral's happening right now.

[Brady]

It's happening right now.

[John Holmberg]

Apparently you can watch it on tv.

[Brady]

Yeah, we need. We need to. If we really want to support law officers, we need some Toledo. Get your son on this thing. Have him design some summertime Phoenix copware that these guys can breathe. You know what I think they should wear? And you could still put on all the armor underneath is what baseball players wear. You know, it's a uniform. It's light. It still looks the part. Why do you have to wear such heavy stuff? Oh, those dudes were just sweating their asses off yesterday. And meanwhile, all these idiots wandered by and constantly remind him how hot it is. Yelling at him, why can't we go? Hold on. There's no curse. Just hold on. He's doing his job. But to all the officers out there, everything. And I know you deal with a lot more misery than just your incredibly bulky uniforms. Let's get you guys in something better. I'm not saying shorts. You'd look funny in shorts. But, like, baseball pants, those are breathable. Yeah, it'd be nice. I think they would appreciate it. It's proof that they're thinking about us. Guy said, I remembered a band name you had a while ago called Snitching Negroes. I don't know that I'd wear that too many places. But, I mean, maybe if we're gonna put that one out, maybe Big perp, our new listener, he'd wear that. Thunderhorse would wear that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

That would be a more diverse shirt for a more diverse audience. President John could wear it. I don't think any of us should wander around with that shit shirt on because it's too many questions. Too many questions. I'll take C word soup for my shirt. At least I can answer those questions anyway. To the law enforcement out there, I just. Yeah. Thank you for everything you guys do and an outstanding job all the time. No, but most of the time, for sure. There's always going to be some goofs, and we only hear about your goofs. And every single day, hundreds of great things happen, and we never, ever pay attention to it. We only yell at Them when they're bad. That's a tough gig, especially considering the outfit, which I'm going to harp on. It's not easy. And then of course, there. And we got to move our flag to half staff. I don't know who's in charge of that around here. We go do that. I don't know if you guys saw this too, but it looks like, and I'm thinking this might happen. I kind of didn't pay attention to the P. Diddy trial there. It kind of bogged down in the same old, same old. So I wasn't interested as much. Now it looks like there's going to be a mistrial. Like it could very possibly end with the judge just going, right, this whole thing's a what Dr. Phil's predicting there's going to be a mistrial and they're going to get rid of one of the jurors. And it happens to be an African American man. And did. He's like, if you start getting rid of the black jurors, this thing's over. Like that's, you're, you're shifting the weight of the jury. You can't do that. And so they're saying that we're like a hair away from a mistrial. Here's the big question. You go through all this, how does P. Diddy celebrate a mistrial? With a freak off. He's gonna do it again. Will he ever have another freak off or will he, with a mistrial, just have more of them than ever before?

[Dick Toledo]

They have to be saving some charges in case it's a mistrial, right?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Dick Toledo]

Because isn't that how OJ Got got? They no tried him on something?

[Brady]

No, no. O.J. got got throwing a gun in a guy's face, trying to steal his stuff. That's true. O.J. screwed himself. He was dumb. But.

[Brett]

Well, the question is, would he continue to have him? I would say yes, because there's nothing that's illegal necessarily about. And that's what they're trying to determine. That yes, there is. Is.

[Brady]

But mistrial, mistral doesn't mean that what you did was legal. That doesn't change the legality of what.

[Dick Toledo]

They'Re trying to trial process.

[Brett]

They're trying to get the child or the, the trafficking, human trafficking element in that. But right now, that's a tough one.

[Brady]

You know, that just means they don't have evidence. What he was doing.

[Brett]

Freak.

[Brady]

Yeah. What he was doing illegal. There's plenty of stuff that was illegal. The prostitution minute. The minute you Hire prostitutes. That's trafficking.

[Brett]

But they're still trying to prove that.

[Brady]

Right? Because they have to prove that he was the one doing it. So they don't have good evidence. Or at least what we're hearing is that he was kind of in the. The muck of, like, he can keep it gray. He was in charge of the whole thing. But if it's somebody else's credit card that's got the Craigslist prostitutes, like, I didn't. I didn't know who they were. It's an easy out. The mistrial has nothing to do with whether or not they got him because they got a lot of stuff the mistrial is trying to get. If one of those jurors goes, goes, or if the judge says, hey, this is. This trial can't go on because this is a goof, we're throwing the whole thing out. It doesn't have anything to do with whether he was guilty or innocent. It has everything to do with just a, you know, paperwork error. I mean, that one dude that got everybody all up in arms a few weeks ago when they shipped him off to El Salvador and stuff was a simple paperwork error. That was it. So you can have a whole trial for months. Murder. If you watch the Tylenol Murders documentary, the dude that did it got out twice on, you know, just clerical goofs and like. And they didn't read him as Miranda rights once. You don't read Miranda rights, you. I could slaughter Toledo right now. They arrest me and don't read my Miranda rights, I'm free. That's it. But I think if I was on trial for freak off and got, I would throw the biggest one. And the first things first, I'd go get all the baby oil. There wouldn't be a CVS or a Walgreens with baby oil in it within 700 miles. All the baby oil. And I have to also wonder with all this baby oil talk about P. Diddy, if they've seen a spike in.

[Brett]

Sales, I gotta believe they would, because.

[Brady]

I don't think any single one. I don't think any of us in the room have used baby oil for. For any bad in our. Like. I know Brady has never coated his bedroom in plastic and baby oil. Toledo. I'm guessing you haven't. No, no, no, no. Not everybody. Aside from before. Well, aside. Yeah, you've done it. Aside from Brady, I assume you guys have all done the. The. Like the. The oil, but not baby like the lube all over the place, sliding around on a rubber mattress or something.

[Dick Toledo]

Silk sheets.

[Brady]

Have you not done that?

[Brett]

No, not a rubber mattress.

[Brady]

What have you lubed up all over the place?

[Brett]

Like, not all over the place.

[Brady]

No, just on the. Yeah, on the Jimmy.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That's not it.

[Dick Toledo]

We're talking about air mattress that didn't have the velvet on.

[Brett]

Exactly.

[Brady]

The non velvet ones. That's where it all started. Yeah. And then you cover that and you put it in a kitchen or something so you can mop up. Can't get that on carpet. No, on tile only. And you're sliding all over the place. Just shoot across the room. You'd give that a try.

[Dick Toledo]

First discovery was that you had to.

[Brady]

Don't look at me like that.

[Dick Toledo]

First discovery was that you had to replace your sheets when you use too much baby oil. Oh, that's not coming out.

[Brady]

Yeah. As a grown up, you look at those videos, you're like, well, that's just gonna be a laundry nightmare. It is messy, but it is kind of fun to shoot all over a room. And the next thing you know, you. You've got, you know, Reynolds Wrap and stuff all over the floor and trying to figure out what goes where. And you've got to be careful because you'll fire off into the candles because there's always candles involved. I guess that's what Diddy liked. But Brady, you should try that.

[Brett]

Like a slip and slide.

[Brady]

You should put that out there. Let's get Brady some. Google up some rubber sheets. Let's get Brady some.

[Brett]

You don't need.

[Brady]

You got a cow king or a king at home. Just alone, even just when nobody's home one day.

[Brett]

Just slip and slide.

[Brady]

Just play around up there. You'll giggle like little girl. You're gonna. You're gonna have the time of your life. And then do the last of the baby oil squirting.

[Brett]

Well, that's it.

[Brady]

We're out of that. And just slide around on it. And then give yourself. Give your horn a tug right there on the bed. And I guarantee you, you will laugh and you'll be thinking of me. You'll be laughing the whole time. You got. Try that once in your life, lady, for crying out loud. Did it one time years ago with Brian Adams. Girl, we were cleaning off her water bed and we took all the stuff off and I'm like, hey. And we hit that bladder with all that oil and it wrecked the wood underneath. Yeah, there you go. There's some Brady sheets for you. What are those? Black vinyl, California King waterproof. Oh, these are perfect. Fitted massage. There you go. Oh, Brady, he's got a side pocket for magazine, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

Oil and water based.

[Brady]

Oil and water based. So you can't.

[Dick Toledo]

Sounds like you just squeegee it at the end.

[Brady]

At the end. Squeegee it up. I'm sure you got one of those for chin sauce removal. 70. Oh, it's 69. I get it. All right. There you go. See? They're even showing you how lube works on it. Yeah. Ready to get that immediately. Live a little more, my friend. What do you think would happen if you strapped that up on the bed and just laid in it naked with a. A little bottle of champagne?

[Brett]

I'd fall off.

[Brady]

And Ronnie comes in. How's it going tonight?

[Brett]

What the hell are you doing?

[Brady]

Yeah, a little Luther Vandross in the background or something. Would she laugh or would she join in? She wouldn't join in.

[Brett]

She'd be mad.

[Brady]

She'd be mad at you?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Why?

[Brett]

Because I'm. You're ruining. You're making a mess.

[Brady]

No, you're not. Protecting. That's the whole point of.

[Brett]

Well, that's exactly right. I'm explaining. No, I'm not. I'm protecting everything.

[Brady]

You're really. You're. You're. You're going down a bad road here. You got to think more positively. You think she'd come in angry? I mean, I would if you were naked in my bed, but, I mean, I think 99% of society is not.

[Brett]

Happy with making a mess.

[Brady]

Really?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You wouldn't get any of the. Ooh, baby. I like what's going on here.

[Brett]

Surprised by it. You mean, like pleasantly surprised?

[Brady]

Yeah. She'd be upset.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

We need to have a talk. If you can't wrap your bed in rubber sheets and coat up in baby oil, something's wrong at home. A couple of glasses of champagne, some pulled brisket or something. I don't know what you eat. I don't know what your sex foods are. I don't know what your weirdness is. You get a little prosecco going, huh? One of those little baby bottles, some flutes.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, when she walked in the door.

[Brady]

Burt Reynolds. Yeah, it's very handsome. Naked Brady laying there. The tender lighting in the back, all pro. Shades is out, so the back bedroom window is not getting sunlight from the west.

[Brett]

Screens are down.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Give that a try. Do a little freak off of your own. Squirt it out. Just see. Just to see what her reaction. You might be pleasantly surprised. I think what might be stopping you is you think she'd Hate it. Because I think you think your mom would be right.

[Brett]

Could be right.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah. Order up those sheets. Those are a treat from me to you, my friend. I'm gonna get Brady some rubber sheets. We're gonna. Brady's baby oil all over said. I betcha Ronnie was listening to that, going, oh, yeah, let's do this. And then she hears Brady going, she'll just be mad. No, you're too worried about the mess. That's the whole point. And Brady, you can squirt barbecue sauce all over it, too.

[Brett]

What? That's a mess.

[John Holmberg]

Sweet baby rabbit.

[Brady]

It's all a mess. That's the point of the rubber sheet. Of course it's a mess. It's not getting anywhere but on that sheet. Then you fold it up, you put it in the backyard, and you hose it off for next time that you would like maybe slopping around in that hog soup. I like making him uncomfortable. For a second there, you thought how good it would be, though, to have your naked body covered in barbecue sauce and the throes of passion. Come on. Not food. To taste barbecue sauce on your lover.

[Brett]

I'd rather keep it fruity or.

[Brady]

Really? Okay. All right, all right. Now we're talking. You like a little cinnamon. You like your lady to taste like a churro.

[Brett]

Cinnabon.

[Brady]

You don't want her frosted. Yeah, yeah. That comes later, right? You like her. You like her sandy. Like a beach. Like cinnamon. Dry chokey.

[John Holmberg]

This isn't sounding too good. No, it doesn't dry and choke.

[Brady]

You like her like a donut. Yeah.

[Brett]

Nice glaze.

[Brady]

All right. Cinnamon glaze. Great for penetration. The cinnamon, no doctor would reckon it would be like doing it with sandpaper, man. But cinnamon flavor, yeah, that's what you want.

[Brett]

Flavor.

[Brady]

All right, so if I buy you cinnamon flavor in the rubber sheets, will you give it a whirl? Would you? Just by yourself. If she's mad, just finish it by yourself. I think you're. I think you're. I think you're not giving credit where credit's due. Maybe that's what she's waiting for.

[Brett]

Maybe she's listening this morning.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, she can text in and say, brady, you better get those rubber seats. I'm waiting. Well, you don't see that you're.

[Brett]

I don't see that happening.

[Brady]

Jesus. Why dismiss it so quickly then? I'm not.

[Brett]

I've never.

[Brady]

You just don't think that she's looking at you in that fashion at all. You're too giggly about sex to be like that forthright with it?

[Brett]

Maybe.

[Brady]

I want to see this so bad it hurts. Will you do it for me at least? Can I come over?

[Brett]

Yeah, I would.

[Brady]

And we won't have sex. It'll be the same thing as Ronnie, But I just want to see you playing on your bed that way. All right. That was a tribute to the police, but I don't know what happened there. Yeah. Thanks, Theo. Yeah. Slipped right off those sheets. 69 bucks for and you're a cow king. Or a king. What do you got?

[Brett]

I think it's a cow king.

[Brady]

Okay, I got a cow king. Cow king. 69 bucks. That's a pretty good price. Get that. You strap it on there. Ronnie's out Safeway buying sides of beef for you, and then she comes home.

[Dick Toledo]

When are you gonna be home, dear?

[Brady]

You hear that door swinging?

[Brett]

Got you a brisket.

[Brady]

Brady, where are you? I need help lifting the hundreds of pounds of meat. I'm in here.

[Brett]

I need help, too.

[Brady]

I need help lifting meat, too. You giggle a lot during that. You're making a mess.

[John Holmberg]

It's perfect for a leather fetishist.

[Brady]

Freddie likes leather.

[John Holmberg]

The sheet's amazing for that.

[Brady]

I don't even know what that means.

[John Holmberg]

Their original purpose was to mimic wet skin. Ooh, these are some of the reviews.

[Brady]

All right, well, maybe Ronnie will.

[Brett]

4, 5 star.

[Brady]

Can you want me to ask her?

[John Holmberg]

4.1 stars.

[Brady]

Can I buy you guys some rubber sheet? It's your. It was your fake anniversary the other day. Yeah, so as a fake anniversary present, I should buy you some rubber sheets.

[Brett]

Be nice.

[Brady]

Nice.

[Brett]

I mean, what's the one star? It's not body wash. Someone that didn't like it. What did? I wonder what happened.

[John Holmberg]

Let's see here.

[Brady]

Somebody wants to see my mattress. My husband giggled the entire time. Acted like a child. Well, if you can't see on the mattress, you overdid it. That's your fault. That's a volume problem. If you put so much slippery stuff on there and you're falling off the mattress, that's because you overdid. Did it?

[Brett]

I agree.

[Brady]

Well, yes, of course, because that's the science. There's no disagreeing with that. Yeah. I think baby oil sales have gone through the moon and we gotta brady in on this. Anything? No. Don't have any reasons.

[John Holmberg]

No. I mean, some of them say it does not stay in place.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah? Well, yeah. All right. Get those weird little straps underneath them.

[Brett]

Well, that's what I think they're saying. The deep pocket. May that it tucks under better. Deeper.

[John Holmberg]

I Mean, I can look for some other ones.

[Brady]

Yeah, Try to find a better. I'm not. You know, we're not tied to that particular low model. Find a five star for Brady. It's got to take some ample weight and a lot of laughing. See if there's one that takes giggling. Please do this. Just lay there with a washcloth over your genitals and your hands over behind your. Your head. Laying on those. That's it. Bright red ones. Waterproof bed sheets for Brady.

[Brett]

Those are only 39 inflatable pillows.

[Brady]

They're basically disposable. Oh, that's the stuff. Kick Kirby out for 11 or 12 minutes and get to work. Those are 40 bucks. Brett's finding better deals for me.

[John Holmberg]

Here's even a cheaper one. This is volume vinyl.

[Brady]

That's all you need, man.

[Brett]

A picnic table.

[Brady]

That's right. Slide around on the picnic table cloth. Anyway, all right. Trying to get Brady to have some fun there. I just turned on the app and I've got cinnamon glaze. Nice penetration. Thanks for opening my. Yeah, that's a Monday morning. That'll start your day. We got a what would Brady do in just moments? And we're trying to get him to do something he's never tried before. It's 98 Kupda, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Pd? Oh, my God. It's Monday, isn't it? It's time for Brady to solve the problems everyone has. All of them. Not only that, anything from Ronnie.

[Brett]

As far as what?

[Brady]

The rubber sheets.

[Brett]

Oh, I didn't hear anything.

[Brady]

He's already forgotten.

[John Holmberg]

Ignoring it.

[Brady]

You didn't fire it off.

[Brett]

I did not.

[Brady]

Did you hear that? I don't ask her. You two need to communicate. I'll. I'll ask her.

[Brett]

Number.

[Brady]

Yeah, Yeah. I want to get sent it over. Yeah, Ronnie did. Would you like it if Brady bought rubber sheets? He's afraid to ask. He would lay naked on them.

[John Holmberg]

And you're not selling around the snow.

[Brett]

That is true.

[Brady]

He or someone would lay naked on. Wait for you. Covered in oils. Sound fun there. Scent. Oops. I sent it to Kirby. What? Anyway, let's see what she says. Cuz I'd be happy to fund that for you if you haven't ever slid around on one of those mattresses or anything. Yeah, thanks.

[John Holmberg]

That's a friend.

[Brady]

Do you want some?

[John Holmberg]

Sure, why not?

[Brady]

All right. I'm going to get you some. I know you'll use them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

You get a set. You get a set.

[Brady]

I can picture Brett pulling that off some Sambua and, like, flaming shots, laying on a bed of flammable liquid woods.

[John Holmberg]

Are those on prime? I want those now.

[Brady]

How you doing? As she walks in the door. You still got your clothes on? Jeez, any.

[John Holmberg]

Thought I taught you better Glass of doctor.

[Brady]

Oh, Ronnie just fired back with an immediate no. Like n o. That didn't even. No discussion. Wow. All right, okay.

[Brett]

I know my wife. Yes, you do.

[Brady]

I did. I explained expect a little more. I expect more, kitten, with the yarn on that one. I didn't expect that. No, I thought we'd be batting that around for a second. Oh, you're silly. What are you talking about? No. All right, I'm gonna text back.

[John Holmberg]

That's all you got?

[Brady]

Yeah. I don't blame you.

[John Holmberg]

No, in big letters.

[Brady]

That's exactly it. Look. That's her response, right? Wow. No. And it was fast. What have you done to this woman? I don't believe. I don't blame you. None of us want that either. Either. There. All right, now. All right, well, saved me 60 bucks and radio. Heck of a lot of embarrassment. Anyway, it is time for what would Brady Do? And we know one thing he won't be doing. I don't know that it's his choice. It is brought to you by our friends at MMP Guns over there in 12th street and Indian School right there inside of Mo Money Pawn. You can grab yourself anything you need. Got an email from a guy that said he's bought three AR15s from MMP Guns is the best in the business over there getting him what he needs. And that can be you, too, if you want anything. As far as weaponry, ammunition, help loading the magazine like I have.

[John Holmberg]

Did you try that?

[Brady]

Yeah. We'll get to it another time. I'm still struggling with that one. MMP Guns is there for you. They'll answer all your questions. They'll get you what you need when you need it, and they'll do it lickety split, too. They probably already have what you need. Need. All you got to do is go down there. 12th street and Indian School, M&P guns inside Mo Money Pond. Brady, are you ready? Ready. All right. It says, great aunt texted my son, army captain, 26 years old. She text him today, hoping he's not being made to march in the. Oh, this is from Friday and the 250th Army B Day. And said it's a disgusting thing, a totally unsolicited text from an air ant. Seems she's trolling my army, son. I would like to drop kick her into next week. But she's 80. What would Brady do on how to handle this?

[Brett]

Ignore it.

[Brady]

It's a great ant. Use the number blocker.

[Brett]

Okay. Thank you.

[Brady]

Yeah. Block.

[Brett]

Have a nice day.

[Brady]

Yeah. Great aunt Block. Your great aunt. And why is she texting? She's 80. That's enough. That's easy.

[Brett]

Next.

[Brady]

Yeah, you can drop kicker or you can just deal with it. Yeah, I agree with that completely. You dismiss your great aunt when she starts getting lippy.

[Brett]

Chalk it up into the lost column. Oh, lost that one.

[Brady]

You're gonna lose her soon anyway, by the way. Yeah. Who's tight with their great aunt? Agreed.

[John Holmberg]

Anything even, like, grandparents.

[Brady]

Yeah, they're kind of the creepy ones. Their houses smell like mothballs and soup.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

And my great grandmother was weird. She was the town whore. And Vincennes True.

[Brett]

Went around for my great grandfather.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

He's already passed on.

[Brady]

My grandpa killed his father. That's a rumor in the homburg house, but it's pretty true. He murdered him in a barn and then lit the barn on fire because he was hitting his. My great grandmother and my grandpa went and killed his. Killed his dad and then saved his mom. Never met the great grandma on that side. Did I meet any other great grandparents? I think the only one I had was Grandma Thornberry. And she never got married because she was, like I say, the town. She had. She had a boyfriend named Philip. It's weird when your great grandmother introduces you to her boyfriend. Boyfriend.

[Brett]

I don't even think. Yeah. Babu's mother never met. Guess what her name was.

[Brady]

I don't know. Mama Lou wasn't a real name.

[Brett]

No.

[Brady]

But she was just called Luanne and I called her Mama Lou.

[Brett]

Yep.

[Brady]

A lot of nicknames over there. This is pretty solid, Right? Yeah. Get rid of your greats. I don't think I do. They're pointless unless they're rich.

[Brett]

Doesn't matter. I'm gonna say no matter, really, who the relative is. They've just. They've gone. Yeah, but I mean, I'm. It's like. Okay. That's their opinion. Thank you.

[Brady]

If it's an aunt or an uncle and they fire over a text to your army kid.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

About what a debacle his profession is. And that's just rude. You might want to fire one off and just go, hey, back off. And then.

[Brett]

Locker duly noted.

[John Holmberg]

None of your goddamn.

[Brett]

Have a good day.

[Brady]

Would you do that for you? Dumb old troll. Get in the box. This one says, dear Brady, my boss just told me he had sex with. I got this this morning, by the way, at about 8:50. Eight is according to this.

[John Holmberg]

This just came through.

[Brady]

Just came through.

[John Holmberg]

Hot off the press.

[Brady]

Hot off the press. My boss told me he had sex with a co worker. He told me this morning at 8:15. He's a mess. From, from it. Evidently they spent the weekend together. It's an immediate firing. If any of this gets out and he doesn't know, she's not going to say something. She's also the fattest woman I've ever seen. I'd rather lose my job for killing a person than having people know I slept with that oil tanker. That said I have all the leverage in the world at work today. Do I use this? If so, how would you use it? Be evil with me, man. Come on. Don't be a Trenton. Ooh, holding the boss.

[Brett]

The boss not gonna be evil with.

[Brady]

The boss confided in him. Snitches get stitches that he bats. You don't have to, you don't have to tell. But manipulate the room. It's not about tattling. It's about going on.

[Brett]

But there's. I mean that is, that's breaking a bro code big time. Is it because he's confiding in you as a friend but on, on top.

[John Holmberg]

Of that too, like he, he banged a wilderbeast.

[Brady]

True.

[John Holmberg]

It's not going to be as believable. I just deny it. If I was the boss.

[Brett]

Think I.

[Brady]

That's very smart. Hopefully there's.

[Brett]

Reverse it around and he, he takes the brunt of it.

[Brady]

Instead it's the slump busting. So what you guys are saying is you're warning the guy from using this as leverage right off the bat, even though it's tempting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Because she's so disgusting that it's deniable. Yeah, I think it's okay.

[John Holmberg]

It's kind of like the Usher thing. Yeah, I did that, that, that, that.

[Brady]

But everybody said I gave him herpes. I did. Except that fat one at the end. She's like lying and everybody's like, that's probably true.

[Brett]

Yeah. I would never, I would never, you know, if I was that guy, I wouldn't think, you know, I'm telling this guy, you know, basically trusting him with the knowledge. Like I'm freaking out about this. Well, I think he'd be more concerned about.

[Brady]

But I don't think he's trying to use it for. I think he's trying to Use it for, like, making this dude have a tough day.

[Brett]

I think you could just goof, have fun with it.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying. I think that's. I think that's why he's saying I got all the leverage at work. Ball. Break it. I would hang around the oil tanker all day, and then, like, when he walks by, I'd say stuff like, is that what I smell cologne on you? Oil tanker?

[Brett]

Not for personal gain financially or whatever.

[Brady]

But I think that's what he was asking. I think he was saying he's got leverage around the office to be evil today.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I thought Brady was saying, kind of like. And maybe motion.

[Brady]

Ah. I think that's. If that was the case, it's easy.

[Brett]

Because you would have said, well, can I hang this over him? Give him a hard time? Absolutely.

[Brady]

Well, bottom line is, if you were not enough to.

[Brett]

That would jeopardize him getting fired.

[Brady]

If you're looking at getting him fired, it's easy now. So I don't think that's what he's looking at. I think what he's doing is trying to play with this dude and make him sweat.

[John Holmberg]

But it is your word against his, too.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, if that was the case, you were trying to get him fired. Yeah.

[Brady]

You start playing with a man's job, basically, on banging oil tankers, it's dangerous because worst case scenario, the office, be careful. Yeah. They go and they say, hey, rumor has it you bang the oil tanker. And then, you know, the management comes down and you're like, well, he's fired. And then they don't fire him. Now you're on the. Now all the leverage just swung back. But definitely tease him. Leave like bread. Here's what I would do. Go to Safeway and get a cake, right? And then take tiny little cake crumbs and sprinkle it from the oil tanker's desk all the way to your boss's. His desk.

[John Holmberg]

Just Hansel and Gretel.

[Brady]

Leave trails between the two. Like, leave, like, little clues that the two of them have a, you know, trap.

[Brett]

I just give him a frame picture of the Valdes hanging his cubicle or something.

[Brady]

I like that. Dear Brady, my gay brother wants to stay with me and the family for a week coming up in July. He's bringing his incredibly flamboyant boyfriend, who I hate. Not because he's gay. We're way past that. He's just always making weird jokes about how I'm gay, too. I just haven't tasted the right one. He's just not cool. Everything is about his lifestyle. I tried watching a baseball game with him once, and he couldn't shut up about which players he knew blew each other. I love my brother, but I don't like this guy. So do I choke this down? Do I choke this down and let him stay? It's family, and my brother would be hurt if I told him he couldn't spend summer vacation with us. Sign Justin. Oh, nothing worse than the one you like bringing the one you don't like.

[Brett]

I think it's something that you can control and talk about with the guy. You got nothing to lose. Like, if he's bothering you on that. Yeah, I mean, like. All right, enough.

[Brady]

A week. A week of dealing with that.

[Brett]

That's a tough one.

[Brady]

H. Would you let anyone stay at your house for a week with someone you didn't like?

[John Holmberg]

Dumb question.

[Brady]

You know, who am I to Brett? Would you?

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely not. I'd tell him to get an Airbnb anyway.

[Brett]

House for a.

[John Holmberg]

How old are you? Go stay somewhere else.

[Brady]

They're two gays, right? There's two male incomes. They can afford a nice room.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely.

[Brady]

It's just cheap to stay at someone's house. But go ahead, Brady, from the world of people who love this.

[Brett]

No, there's. There's. He's just one of those families that, when family come into town, you know, don't get a room. Stay with us.

[Brady]

Right. That's a false offer. Nobody should ever take anyone up on that. You stay with us for a week. Nobody wants that. Deep down, everyone hates that.

[Brett]

Five days.

[Brady]

Someone in the house is not happy when you're like. Because they're like, Ronnie. When you have your family stay for five days. Yeah, come on. She's like, ugh. It's not her family. It's adopted. Same with you. If you had some of Ronnie's family come rolling in, you didn't like one of them, forget about it. You'd want them in a room.

[Brett]

Two male incomes welcome one time or another, but didn't have to, you know, we never had that on her side of the family.

[Brady]

Right, but if you did, you've met some of them, and I'm sure there's.

[Brett]

A couple, but if they had to.

[Brady]

You know, and they're bringing some new boyfriend and they're staying for a week.

[Brett]

Yeah. That's a tough one.

[Brady]

Oh, it's miserable.

[Brett]

I. I would, you know, suggesting them getting another, you know, place to stay isn't bad.

[Brady]

It's a great idea.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. When I went. When I Brought Matthia back to Chicago and meet the family the first time. I had no clue. Are you going to stay with us? My. Absolutely not. You don't know her. She don't know you guys. It's uncomfortable.

[Brady]

First of all, the incredibly gay guy, right? Shouldn't want to stay. No, the brother is like, yeah, I'll stay with my family. That's no big deal. But the. This interloper, he shouldn't be there. He should be like, we need to get our own room.

[John Holmberg]

I wonder if he does. If he doesn't, he doesn't want to be there. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Brett]

And he acts that way to try to get well.

[Brady]

No, I think he just acts that way because he's super gay.

[Brett]

But it sounded like fun at first.

[Brady]

Look, I don't want to stay anywhere near in laws houses. I'll get a room and vice versa. My dad comes to town with that lady. He's married too. That's fine. He can stay. He stays at my sister's. I don't know how they get that done, but I always offer him someplace else. You can stay anywhere else. I'll, I'll pay for it. I'll gladly. But you're not staying here with this stranger. She shouldn't want to be here.

[Brett]

Yeah, we're, you know, and I'm still okay with it, at least on our family side. Like if I go back to Columbus and I'll stay with my sister, it's not a problem.

[Brady]

Right, but you're not dragging someone they don't like with. Right. So it's not like somebody's in the house that they're like, I'm miserable in this house and they don't want.

[Brett]

And if I did had had friends over over there and, and if they said this isn't. Well, I mean, then I'll get another place.

[Brady]

If your sister didn't like Ronnie and Ronnie didn't like your sister, you're a jerk for dragging them in together on both sides.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're both going to think you're.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's not what they told me. They told me they like each other.

[Brady]

And they probably don't. They're women, but they fake it and you don't know the difference. But if you're oblivious to the fact that she hates being there because nobody likes be in there. I used to hate that my ex wife used to drag me up to her dad's house like, let's get a room. No, he's fine. And we'd have to Plunk down in their house and quietly talk about how uncomfortable bathrooms and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody's got to take a dump. And you got.

[Brady]

I got smell dumps.

[Brett]

We have our own bathroom, Brett.

[Brady]

Sure, you get your own bath somewhere else if you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but does. Does Kirby use your guys bathroom or does she got to share with the guest?

[Brady]

They get their own bathroom too. Brett bragging about how successful his sister is. Like, it's his.

[John Holmberg]

No, I was saying, like, if somebody stays at Brady's house.

[Brett]

It'S a nice.

[Brady]

When somebody stays at your house, there's some stranger that tags along that's dumping, and you let him have Kirby's room.

[Brett]

My mom.

[Brady]

Yeah. And then Kirby's got to sleep somewhere else. And then your mom's making old lady dumps in Kirby's bathroom with Kirby.

[Brett]

Sometimes they're together.

[Brady]

Your mom's by herself. That's different. Now, if your mom brought some new swinging dick along.

[Brett]

Well, you know my mom. It was my mom and dad at one time.

[Brady]

Well, sure. That's different. Yeah, if. You know, if your mom's got this guy that nobody likes, he shouldn't want to be there. Oh, the house guest thing, there's so many rules. Just doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, it's imposing to bring a stranger to. Like, if I told Brett, hey, Brett, can I stay at your house? He'd probably be like, yeah, sure. And then I'm like, I'm bringing a friend. Friend. You'd be like, oh, what for? Now you gotta. Now you gotta fake it with this guy.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the Airbnb website.

[Brady]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Right now.

[Brady]

Too many options. Dear Brady, my wife spent $2900 for me on Father's Day. It's a trip for us that's pretty nice. To San Diego. And guess what? She also kicked in for her two sisters to tag along. So essentially for father, I get to go to San Diego and watch our sons while she and her sisters go spend more of my money. And she thinks something. She got me something amazing. I will say she booked the room on the golf course you may have heard of called Torrey Pines. Oh, nice. But she didn't get a foursome for it. She just got us close so I can see it. How do I tell her this is garbage without getting cut off sexually? Kent.

[Brett]

So everyone's going on this trip.

[Brady]

Two sisters. The wife.

[Brett]

Wife and the kids.

[Brady]

The kids, yeah. And she kicked in 2,900 bucks. Seems pretty reasonable.

[Brett]

Yeah, that does. It must be doing in two rooms.

[Brady]

Two rooms. That's what I'm thinking two really nice rooms. Then if you're up to three, four.

[Brett]

People in a room.

[Brady]

Well, the two sisters and then. Sounds like the family.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So the two sisters for a couple days.

[Brett]

Better set up for the sisters.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. Sisters are getting a. They're getting a great thing.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. That's just what he wanted for Father's Day.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

It'S a little. You know, at least. I'm telling her, at least buy a 2 or have golf for him.

[Brady]

Get something.

[Brett]

Yeah, because this is a trip that you've set up. There's nothing.

[Brady]

Yeah, he didn't.

[Brett]

There's nothing Father's Day about that.

[Brady]

No. He didn't get to take his friends. Or is what is going on with everybody thinking that they can just drag family along with everything? You have to tell her your sisters can't come.

[Brett]

Well, you know, for the most part. Again, if it ends up like that, then that's not gonna work. If you feel like when you're going on vacation, you're dragging family.

[Brady]

Well, you are. Who brings their sisters?

[Brett]

Some people like to vacation with their family.

[Brady]

Sure. But that's what you gotta ask the other person. You can't just bring them with. That's my point.

[Brett]

Added family. In other words, like. Yeah, adding her sister.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying.

[Brett]

Like, I. I just meant the family and the kids.

[Brady]

You can travel with your family. That's fine, but everybody needs to know that. Like, I can travel with family all day, but if there's a couple. When did they get invited?

[Brett]

That was a bad, bad gift.

[Brady]

That's what he's saying. What? How's he get out of this? How does he f. I.

[Brett]

You know, your sisters can't go. Do the sisters have to come along?

[Brady]

Yes.

[Brett]

It's worth.

[Brady]

I think they're not tagging along on my Father's Day present. I don't want them there.

[John Holmberg]

I'd say you broads go by yourselves or that. And I'll just. I'll enjoy Father's Day by myself. Enjoying myself.

[Brett]

Are they hot?

[Brady]

Are the sisters hot? Is this Brady's thinking? Are they three way? We get another oil tanker situation here.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Are they hot? That's a good question. Send us pictures d toledo pd.com and we'll see if it's worth it to take the whole family. Chances are one of them is. One of them isn't. One of them's gross. Yeah. I don't get that. People use family against the coolest.

[Brett]

What? Wish we could talk to her. Like, you send him to Torrey Pines for the weekend.

[Brady]

Right. Why are you you going? Because she scammed it. It's a scam trip. He'll be fine. He's at Torrey Pines. She doesn't understand. He wants to play Torrey Pines.

[Brett]

And I forgot to tell you, we have to sit through a timeshare.

[Brady]

There's probably some of that. Well, three grand's a pretty good price for two rooms for two years.

[Brett]

Not that situation.

[Brady]

Yeah, maybe. Those are my sisters. Why, is that bad? Oh, for Father's Day. I don't. They shouldn't be there, let alone picking.

[Brett]

Up the tab for them.

[Brady]

Yeah, right. Here's the problem. You are going to get cut off sexually for that weekend because there's rats in your room.

[John Holmberg]

Now, what kind of Father's Day is that?

[Brady]

What kind of Father's Day? Does your wife book a room with the kids in it? That's just her way of locking it down. She's getting away with murder here.

[Brett]

Add your brother or a friend into the mix. Yeah, that and you guys just go off the whole weekend.

[Brady]

Yeah. Have those dudes show up. Yeah, Yeah. I invited a couple of my friends since you're gonna be busy. Who's gonna watch the kids? I don't know. I should have thought of that when you got me my Father's Day.

[Brett]

Your sisters.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That'S. She's awful. Your wife's awful. What a C word. Okay, said so. The guy's paying for two sisters trips.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'd fix that. I'd add a buddy into the mix.

[Brady]

Or I'd say one she doesn't like. And if, like, what he said was, his wife's not working.

[Brett]

You don't want to be a miserable.

[Brady]

Yeah, I would.

[John Holmberg]

It sounds.

[Brady]

I hate trip. That so it never happens again. People have lost all decorum on this thing, and the one dude that says, I don't want to do this is always the jerk. It's family we have. Still, there's a time and place for that.

[Brett]

Pull it off on Father's Day, too.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

The differences between Mother's Day and Father's Day.

[Brady]

Oh, it's killer.

[Brett]

Imagine if he did that to her on Mother's Day.

[Brady]

He got a foursome at Torrey Pines and then stuck her with the kids.

[Brett]

Yeah, and I brought you the kids. My two brothers are coming along.

[Brady]

We're gonna have a great time. You can watch the kids.

[Brett]

Isn't that a great trip, honey?

[Brady]

You know what, though? Passive aggressive woman be like, yes, because I love spending time with my kids. Oh, Boy, it backfired.

[Brett]

Still, it would be held over your head for years.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You just got hired as a babysitter for the next. Whatever weekend you're going anyway. Just say no. What happened to being a man? What happened to being a man? I'm not doing this. This trip, by the way. I canceled the payment. If it's all your money, save the money and just cancel the payment. It and go. This trip is canceled. It's dumb. I'm not buying your sister.

[Brett]

Let's just do a staycation.

[Brady]

Yeah, let's just stay at the house. It's the same thing. You got your kids running around there, not getting laid in that either. Good luck. And just be a man and tell your wife this is a bad trip. And then do like what Brett doesn't. Raise your hand up over your shoulder like it's coming in as five across. Don't actually act on it. Just, you know, wave it around a little. Wow.

[Brett]

It's a gesture.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's a gesture. It's a suggested idea of what could come your way. You keep up the nonsense. Well, there you go. Summer vacation plans all over the place. Gays, sisters, everybody's running anything they want through your house. Be a man, say no. It's 98 KUPD. That, my friends, is what Brady did. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Email from a guy that says, hey, that Father's Day present. Let's see. We're all being so negative. She's bringing her two sisters, the kids, and you.

[Brett]

Oh, no.

[Brady]

She's either got you a foursome already, maybe not on the golf course, or the two sisters are there to get the kids off of your hands, and she's got some sort of a rubber sheet thing going on. You know what? Maybe we.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe I'm with Toledo on this. That's wishful thinking.

[Brett]

It is wishful thinking. Then they would stay at your place with the kids, and you get.

[Brady]

Why do they have to go to. Well, maybe. Maybe there's a plan with the kids. Not sexually, but obviously to, you know, do something with the kids or something, too, as a Father's Day thing, because it was a Father's Day. To get the whole family involved. Another maybe, maybe, maybe we shot down the whole idea thinking it was all bad, thinking that she was being selfish. You got to find out. Yeah. Go back and go. What's the plan? What are we going to do are your sister and maybe, you know, be a little passive aggressive and say are your sister's going to take the kids while we have our weekend? Oh no, no, no. Now I'm gonna shop with my sisters and you're gonna watch the kids.

[Brett]

Oh, I just found out my schedule.

[Brady]

Isn't that sad though. Every email and all of us we assumed that it was just terrible. Like she was just being awful.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe you're thinking the wrong way with Brady and the rubber sheets. I think of him more as a gravy person than anything. Sticky and slimy. So maybe he's looking at some crazy.

[Brady]

This look like vomit all over those sheets?

[Dick Toledo]

Sheets, biscuits and gravy.

[Brady]

I've never gotten a responses faster than what I got when I suggested it to Brady's wife with the word no. And then I text back jokingly, yeah, I don't blame you. Nobody wants any of that. And he got a haha on that. Like the second I sent it, it already had a little bubble haha on. Yeah, that's off limits here. You've made the right choice. B asexual with the rubber sheets. Smart. Excellent idea. All right, I'm going to take a break before we get in the entertainment drill. Cuz I just realized Brady's clogged up everything with his rubber sheet. Put us way behind. The entertainment drill is coming up in just a second here with his sausage gravy sheets. Now maybe you don't need Ronnie for that. Get those rubber sheets and just throw a little country breakfast on. You would never abuse food that way is what you're saying. You're insulting. It's insulting.

[Dick Toledo]

You're insulting. You want the smells and the flavors.

[Brady]

But he doesn't want the actual smells. Yeah, he keeps saying no food because that's an affront to what you're actually supposed to do with food.

[Brett]

Yeah, there you go.

[Brady]

You eat food, you don't play with it.

[Dick Toledo]

Nailed right in the hurt.

[Brady]

Yeah, right? Yeah, we hit big food hard. You don't screw around with big food. Throwing country gravy all over a bed. It's gonna take forever to suck that up.

[Brett]

It's afterwards.

[Brady]

All right, the entertainment drill's coming up in just seconds. We all pictured it. It's 98.

[John Holmberg]

This.

[Brady]

Hol'S morning sickness. All right, it is now. It's time for the entertainment drill. We'll get right to that. I just got a list of our band names from this year. The T shirts are good. We gotta get on this.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep, I'll be contacting them today.

[Brady]

Digital Mexican Turd Swirl. Side Mansion. Kid Grinder. That's a good rapper. Damp Granny. So many too handicapped to hit that. I love that one.

[Dick Toledo]

Kills me.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a. That's a gem. Six Figure Sasquatch. There's a. There's some great band names in this. We'll get our T shirts, our fake band T shirts up. They have a merch store of what will appear to be a bunch of local bands, but they don't actually exist.

[Dick Toledo]

Are we doing just one band or. Like you said, there's a whole lot lineup.

[Brady]

I think we should do like four or five at a time.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[Brady]

Until they sell. See how they're selling. And we'll move one in here and there, but we'll go.

[Brett]

Yeah. One's not 86.

[Brady]

One's not moving. We got no merch going out the door. We bump it off the line.

[Dick Toledo]

But I think Pope Seaward has its own. Oh, that's his own shirt.

[Brady]

Pope Seaward becomes its own shirt. Yeah, that's gonna sell. You might see those all over. Oh, definitely. At art show. Yeah. Let's enter Taliban. Caleb Shovel. Singapore Dick Slug. I don't even remember what we were talking.

[Dick Toledo]

Brett, that sounds like a drink more.

[Brady]

Than a band name. Yeah. And dude, Soup in the meat tube. That's. Yeah, that. That is so many shirts. Yeah, we got loads of good ones here. All right, all right. We got to get this together. We got. That guy gave you his number. This. This T shirt idea is gold, gold, gold. And then, of course, for the larger people, Big food. I'm with Big food.

[Dick Toledo]

I look forward to November when I can enter my band Slaughtering Toledo into Palladio.

[Brady]

Yeah, that'll be good. Slaughtering Toledo.

[Dick Toledo]

Entering guess what genre you guys are? Pop.

[Brady]

Yeah, Rock. It's time now for Brady to give us all the entertaining news. He calls this the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. Head on out there and get involved in becoming a more efficient version of you. It's an amazing setup. You got cardio stuff. You got bag classes, self defense classes, guns, gun training. You got to how to hold on to your gun if you carry. It's just so many different things you can do. Machetes. We talked about that on Friday. People use machetes as a weight weapon. It's the choice for the homeless. Machetes. Figure that out. Knives, guns, sticks, all sorts of stuff. There's no reason not to be prepared in this Crazy mixed up world. You never know. And keep in mind you're always walking around with about a thousand dollars in your hand. Whether you know it or not. If you've got a phone in your hand, you're cruising around 500 to $1,000 in your hand. Somebody will want that. So you're always a bit of a target. Be prepared, don't be paranoid and learn to how to do it with the best in the business. Tried and true, tested over and over again. It's ever evolving. It's reactdefense.com. check it all out right there. It's the home of Tactical Black Brady. Entertain me.

[Dick Toledo]

Here's from last week.

[Brady]

Corn's Dick. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know if it's a cover.

[Brady]

Band or not, but tribute band Cornstick. Cornstick.

[Brett]

Here's a few celebrities who were off. Awesome. To the crew on flights, little feedback. They like to do that every now and then. Anthony Hopkins, they say he's delightful. Absolute gentleman. Gordon Ramsay. Lovely and charming. Charming. He says, please call me Gordon. And he just wanted a bottle of water and they slept the entire flight. But he was really nice.

[Brady]

What do they expect? Like somebody.

[Brett]

Some people are real sometimes escorted off.

[Brady]

The flight because they're flying coach.

[Brett]

Remember when Alec Baldwin was playing Wordle? Yeah.

[Brady]

Or Word Friend. Words with friends.

[Brett]

Put it away because we're getting ready to take off.

[Brady]

He wouldn't shut his phone off.

[Brett]

Yeah. Robert De Niro. Very pleasant, funny, friendly. He was wearing a wig as a.

[Brady]

Disguise and people still knew it was him.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Well, I don't know. I think I'm getting away with it. Hi, My name is Mrs. Newspaper Bomb. How are you? I'm glad. Gladys Newspom got some white walls. We want some white wall tires with that, huh? This plane will be tugging a small church radio holes.

[Brett]

Here's a couple of things that happened 10 years ago on this week Rachel Dolezal scandal broke out 10 years ago.

[Brady]

That was 10 years ago when the fake black lady Rachel Dolezal, the head of the Tacoma or Spokane. That. That's right. Naacp, the chapter up there elected a weird white woman.

[Brett]

Jurassic World had the biggest opening weekend ever.

[Brady]

She changed her name to something crazy to that Rachel Dolezal recently. Oh, yeah. In the last couple years. It's. It's like African name. She isn't quit on this. Look that up. Look. Rachel Dolezal's new name up. I think she lives in Tucson.

[John Holmberg]

I can't pronounce it.

[Brett]

She does. Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

And she's down there in Tucson. Play Pretending that she's not there. She is with her and her hair is like complete Sideshow Bob.

[Brett]

There you are. Mikichi Amari.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Dialla.

[Brady]

Yeah, none of that is Rachel now. She's Nikichi.

[Brett]

A Rod got his 3,000th hit and the fan wouldn't give him the ball.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, he made him pay.

[Brett]

Brian Williams got banished by MSNBC for his BS helicopter story.

[Brady]

He told a lie about flying into Iraq, Right?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And a war and they were shooting at the helicopter and stuff.

[Brett]

And Michael Jackson's son stopped going by the name Blanket.

[Brady]

He's Rachel Dolezal now.

[Brett]

Is it Biggie or bg?

[Brady]

Who?

[Brett]

Eigi. He changed his name. Blanket, you call him?

[Brady]

No idea.

[Brett]

Bg, I think.

[Brady]

I haven't heard much from Blanket. Prince or bg.

[Brett]

This just in People magazine is calling it. They're saying it's over between Katy Perry and Orlando Blue.

[Brady]

They're done.

[Brett]

That's what people say.

[John Holmberg]

Is this the second time for them? Weren't they?

[Brady]

No, I think they. I think they. They're married, couple of kids.

[Brett]

I don't. They. I don't think they got married. They were engaged.

[Brady]

They never got officially.

[Brett]

But they do have a five year old kid, Daisy.

[Brady]

That's right. We heard all about Daisy when she went to space and became the next Sally Ride. Oh, God. Remember when that became all about her?

[Brett]

Arnold Schwarzenegger was out for the second season of fubar promoting it.

[Brady]

Forgot about that.

[Brett]

And he took a picture, the family came out, all the kids. And then he did a separate photo with Conan.

[Brady]

With the one that's from the maid.

[Brett]

Yeah, he wouldn't. Here's the picture.

[Brady]

The Conandez is not allowed.

[Brett]

He showed up for it and they wouldn't allow him. Direct family. I don't know. And that picture right there, it's just all the kids.

[Brady]

No, that's. Chris Evans is in it.

[Brett]

And then brother in law. Yeah, son in law. Sorry.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah. Chris Pratt. I said Chris Evans. Yeah. So they got, you know, Christopher Christina Arnold Patrick, Catherine Schwarzenegger and then Chris Paul Pratt. But you won't let Kandez in this picture just because he's got a immigrant mother.

[Brett]

Conandez gets his own.

[Brady]

He got his own photo.

[Brett]

Yeah, man, he looks like. I mean, just a blend.

[Brady]

He's a beast. That is right. Who comes from good stock of that Hardy maid that I was pounding from behind the call your mother, when they give it to her from behind because I couldn't look at her face. It was so blood.

[Brett]

The other thing that happened, it was Canceled last Thursday night. The Bonnaroo Festival.

[Brady]

Yeah. Rain, right? Weather.

[Brett]

Yeah. People missed out on Rebecca Black. Icp.

[Brady]

Did they only cancel one day?

[Brett]

No, they. They pulled the whole thing Thursday night. They thought they would be able to pull it off, and then they did.

[Dick Toledo]

You say they missed out on Rebecca Black?

[Brady]

Hey, she canceled. Kills it in her world.

[John Holmberg]

Where's the problem? Missing ICP And Luke Combs.

[Brady]

Out of those three. I'd like to see Rebecca Black if you ever look at her club stuff. It's good. Yeah, she's really good. Get past the Friday thing when she was 13. Everybody keeps that. Poor girl's got that anchor tied around her head.

[Brett]

They got the one day in Thursday.

[Brady]

Oh, they did get canceled Friday and.

[Brett]

The rest of the weekend.

[Brady]

All right, you ready? Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Gemini's taking its first curve crack.

[Brady]

Oh. At our first band.

[Dick Toledo]

Dude, Soup in the meat.

[Brady]

Soup in the meat tube is pretty awesome. It's a label of some type of red liquid. A ladle. Yeah. And it's going into a tube. Dude, Soup in the meat tube. It's a little too pink for my liking.

[Dick Toledo]

I'll have a change of colors from pink to red.

[Brady]

Maybe this was an AI creation. Yep.

[Dick Toledo]

This is Gemini's first crack.

[Brett]

Not bad.

[Brady]

Not bad. It's a little cartoonish, but I. Yeah, you know, we're working from evil for it. I agree.

[John Holmberg]

Marcus type shirts.

[Brady]

You know, that looks a little bit like garbage pail. Yeah. Garbage Pail Kids. That's what I'm seeing, too. Yeah, it's got very Garbage Pail kids vibes on it. Try the Pope C word 1 and see what it. Oh, God.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know if Gemini will do that.

[Brady]

Sure it will. All right, it's 1108. Larry's coming up next. He giving that money away way yet? Still going at it. He's got an excellent adventure for you. And he might walk into your world with $3,000 and hand it to you. Courtesy of our valley Toyota dealers and our own Larry McFeely. He's got the excellent adventure. He's going to help you in just a little while. Try to win that. We're done. We will see you guys tomorrow right here in the morning Sickness. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.