06-27-25 - Duncan Trussell - Tempe Improv - In Studio

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: Duncan Trussell - Tempe Improv - In Studio
Release Date: June 29, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Guests: Duncan Trussell, Byron, Dick Toledo

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1. Introduction to Health Concerns

The episode kicks off with a humorous yet candid conversation about health, specifically focusing on testicular cancer. John Holmberg initiates the topic by sharing a personal anecdote:

John Holmberg [14:04]: "Are you a doctor guy? Because I know I would have testicular cancer for probably a year before anybody else would."

Duncan Trussell responds with a mix of humor and sincerity:

Duncan Trussell [14:21]: "It's pretty treatable. You just cut off the offensive nut."

The discussion highlights the importance of awareness and early detection, blending lighthearted banter with serious undertones about men's health issues.

2. Tragic Story: The Bachelorette Party Incident

The conversation takes a somber turn as John shares a tragic story to emphasize the fragility of life:

John Holmberg [18:55]: "A lady was telling her tragic tale about how at her bachelorette party, things got a little out of hand. The girls got there having fun and one of her friends pushed her in the pool. Cause she wouldn't get in. It's too cold. She smashes her head. She's paralyzed from the chest down."

Duncan reflects on the unpredictability of life and the importance of cherishing moments:

Duncan Trussell [19:32]: "We need Ghostbusters."

The discussion evolves into a philosophical exploration of life's uncertainties and the unforeseen consequences of seemingly harmless actions.

3. The Intersection of Comedy, Philosophy, and Society

Duncan delves into the role of comedians as inadvertent philosophers, navigating the thin line between humor and wisdom:

Duncan Trussell [05:44]: "Comedians run that fine line of being philosophers and just jackasses."

John echoes this sentiment, sharing his own experience as a former philosophy major turned radio host:

John Holmberg [06:17]: "I was a philosophy major in college for a little bit before I realized, oh, I'm a jackass. This isn't for me."

This segment underscores how humor can be a vehicle for deeper philosophical discussions, often underestimated by society.

4. Exploring the Concept of AI Surpassing Human Intelligence

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to contemplating the future of artificial intelligence and its implications on humanity and spirituality:

Duncan Trussell [22:05]: "We just all have to get used to the fact that AI is going to surpass us as far as intelligence goes. We have to get used to the fact that we won't be the smartest thing on the planet anymore."

John expands on this by drawing parallels between human creation of AI and theological concepts:

John Holmberg [24:05]: "Our quest to find what created us will make us build something bigger and better than what created us. Because we always talk about all knowing, all powerful. And we made it. We made it. And eventually, it will become our God."

Duncan continues, expressing unease about the trajectory of AI development:

Duncan Trussell [28:30]: "We're just looping in some kind of iterative simulator... what we call death is really just ensuring that you don't get to the point of understanding what you're in."

This philosophical debate raises questions about the nature of existence, the potential for AI to redefine divinity, and the ethical considerations of creating entities that may surpass human intelligence.

5. The Role of Technology in Modern Society

The hosts discuss the pervasive influence of technology, particularly how industries like pornography have driven technological advancements:

John Holmberg [33:21]: "Porn has driven all of our technology for the last hundred years. Your TV's better, your phone's better. All technology's better."

Duncan adds a humorous yet insightful observation on the future implications of AI in personal lives:

Duncan Trussell [34:16]: "What do you do with a family Android? What do you do with like, do you bury it? Do you erase it?"

The conversation highlights the intricate relationship between technological progress and societal norms, emphasizing both the benefits and the potential ethical dilemmas.

6. Reflections on Legacy and Existence

As the episode nears its conclusion, John shares a personal story about his grandfather to illustrate the human desire for legacy and witnessing the culmination of one's life:

John Holmberg [26:50]: "My grandfather was born in 1918, died in 2005. He was a White Sox fan, born the year of the Black Sox scandal. Died four months before they won their first championship. Lived his whole life with one dream."

Duncan responds with a philosophical musing on existence and the nature of reality:

Duncan Trussell [28:58]: "Probably the world already ended a long time ago, really. And we're just looping. We're looping in some kind of iterative simulator."

This segment encapsulates the existential themes threaded throughout the episode, prompting listeners to ponder the meaning of life, legacy, and the constructs of reality.

7. Final Thoughts and Event Promotion

The episode wraps up with Duncan encouraging listeners to attend his shows at the Tempe Improv, blending personal insights with promotional content:

Duncan Trussell [37:26]: "Call your parents and tell them you love them because they die on you like that."

John Holmberg [37:16]: "Duncan Trussell is at the Tempe Improv tonight and tomorrow."

The hosts leave listeners with a mix of humor, philosophical contemplation, and a reminder of the fleeting nature of existence.

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [14:04]: "Are you a doctor guy? Because I know I would have testicular cancer for probably a year before anybody else would."

• Duncan Trussell [22:05]: "We just all have to get used to the fact that AI is going to surpass us as far as intelligence goes."

• John Holmberg [24:05]: "We made it. And eventually, it will become our God."

• John Holmberg [26:50]: "My grandfather was born in 1918, died in 2005. He was a White Sox fan, born the year of the Black Sox scandal."

---

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness seamlessly blends humor with deep philosophical discussions, tackling topics from personal health struggles to the profound implications of artificial intelligence on human existence and spirituality. Duncan Trussell's insights provide a thought-provoking counterbalance to John Holmberg's candid storytelling, making for an engaging and reflective listening experience.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmberg here, shilling away from my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. Here we go. Summer kickoff. And that means there are going to be a lot of cars on the roads with cracked windshields. These guys handle everything from the insurance company's questions to scheduling your windshield replacement. Sometimes the same day you call and you can get up to $375 cash back. Go to new visionautoglass.com find out what you qualify for. And don't forget, you get dinner from Rhodesio Grill, the world famous Brazil steakhouse. Call them up. 480-210-9090. New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks. It's John Holberg here, shailing away from our [e-mail] New AC unit.com has simplified the process, eliminating middlemen, eliminating overhead costs, and new acunit.com cutting those costs means they have to pay less. And they pass that savings on to you and they back it all up with a 100% money back guarantee. Let me save some more. An additional $1,000 comes off the bill if you use the promo code Homburg. Simple as that. Getting a new AC unit has never been easier. Thanks to New Save thousands, save time. Buy online@newac unit.com. hey, Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes, sir.

[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Byron]

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[Dick Toledo]

Sounds simple.

[John Holmberg]

That's why I always go to mmpguns.com still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com makes me happy. Would you bring Duncan Trussell's here? But my God, you need a better class of friends, Duncan.

[Duncan Trussell]

I know. I'm working on it. It's hard, man. That's what you get on Grindr.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, he's the only one left. He's a museum. Duncan Trussell's at the Tempe Improv tonight and tomorrow, if you want to go. Tempe improv.com. you know, Duncan, from. You've been a Rogan show a billion and a half.

[Duncan Trussell]

Billion and a half times.

[John Holmberg]

Just to get this out of the way. Are you familiar with anything? This Liver King guy that's trying to kill Joe.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, my God. Yeah. You know, I don't know, too. I don't know the details. It's just one of those moments where it just popped up on my feed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Liver King stalking Rogan. It's one of those moments.

[Byron]

He doesn't want to kill me. He wants to fight him.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I think he wants to kill him too. I don't think that guy has lines. He draws where he just wants to stand over you for a ten count.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm pretty sure he's a crazy element. Have you talked to Joe about it at all?

[Duncan Trussell]

No. You know, I did not want to add to the pylon he must be getting. It's like if you're getting stalked by the Liver King, you just want to forget about. You don't want to think about that. You don't. All your friends. Like, the Liver King's gonna kill you, man.

[Byron]

And you're out wherever, and I just saw the Liver King.

[John Holmberg]

You want to breathe.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's like a bad dream.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a. The simulation is so destroyed that we are now adult men in our early 50s talking about, you think Joe's going to get killed by the Liver King?

[Duncan Trussell]

There's a Liver King. There's. That's how you know you're in the wrong timeline.

[John Holmberg]

Something crossed over, and I got lost. And then there's a dude named Liver King that I actually am familiar with and can discuss with people. Oh, people know and not have to explain it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. It's wild. And he's staying at the Four Seasons.

[John Holmberg]

He's up nice places just waiting.

[Byron]

Yeah, he's made some money.

[Duncan Trussell]

Poor Four Seasons, though, man. They've got the Liver King nesting in there. They're not gonna get him out.

[John Holmberg]

Impossible.

[Byron]

He's got to bring his own food in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's so strange and such a weird thing. And Joe's surrounded by all that stuff. I don't think he ever expected the success he's got Joe Rogan, like, from what he's gotten it from. You know what I mean?

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't think anybody thought that podcasting.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Duncan Trussell]

Would become what it is. Like, I think that? Yeah. How could you expect. No, that, like, having stoner conversations with your friends would eventually lead to presidential.

[John Holmberg]

Candidates buying that kind of importance that lays on you accidentally. It's so weird. It's so weird. And you're part of it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're over there a lot. You're in the mix. You're in the mothership, and it's like you're just. You're kind of a satellite to the whole thing. Does it feel that way with you? Is it different there than everywhere else?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, I mean, it's a great club.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And I mean, you know, if you were on the outside hearing about it, it might seem like something completely unlike what it is, which it's. It's just a great comedy club. It's exactly the same green room you run into wherever there's green rooms and comics. Nothing that different other than, like, every once in a while, someone will show up who is, like, one of the people leaking uap. Every once in a while, one of his guests shows up who, like, has. Probably has actual alien footage on their phone.

[John Holmberg]

It's you, Pete Holmes, and a dude who thinks he. And actually can prove he's talked to aliens who probably.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's just weird to me. And then. Yeah. And I just find that fascinating to me when you. When you just go about your business being a comedian and comedians run that fine line of being philosophers and just jackasses.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, yeah. And, you know, I think a quality of being a jackass is that if someone says you're a philosopher, you better watch out because you'll believe it. You want to be a philosopher, but you're a jackass. Every jackass thinks they're a philosopher. I hate the comedians as philosopher thing, because if you. I don't know how much time you've spent with philosophy, but anytime I've tried to crack open, like, Marcus Aurelius or something. Heidegger. Like some kind of hardcore philosophy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's what I realized. Oh, I'm a.

[John Holmberg]

You're a jackass. Yeah, I do the same thing.

[Duncan Trussell]

No idea what he said.

[John Holmberg]

I was a philosophy major in college for a little bit.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Before I realized, oh, I'm a jackass. This isn't for me. This does nothing. I'm just gonna quote these people. That's the only thing I'm capable of.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. And that's part of being a jack. Jackass.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We remember dumb stuff other people said, and we make it our twist. Yes. That's jackassery. You're not smarter because you can quote it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, you got it. Yeah. And I, you know, so. But that is a problem is, like, it's easy to, you know, I read this. I don't know how true this is, but supposedly there's a practice in medieval Europe where the fool, the king's fool, they would let him be a king for a day, and they love doing this. And he could actually be the king. So he would sit on the throne, wear the crown. And the funniest part of it was by the middle of the day, he would start taking himself seriously, like he was actually doing a good job. They love watching that happen because you're a fool, but because you're a fool, you think you're a king just because you're sitting there. So this, to me is like, whenever, you know, people bitch about comedians going on some crusade or trying to save the earth and whatever, but it's like, you don't understand. Like, they just started to believe what people were saying to them online. Rogan's avoided that, and I think that's part of why he's having so much success, is because he maintains that he's just a comic.

[John Holmberg]

He's a curious jackass.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, that's it.

[John Holmberg]

That's the difference.

[Byron]

And it looks like he entertains also both sides of the. A little bit. Like on, you know, here's someone that oppose this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

The other side. And kind of.

[John Holmberg]

He's on. He's on left and right.

[Byron]

A lot of times I see on.

[John Holmberg]

He'll dance, which is good.

[Duncan Trussell]

What's good? What's funny, inevitably, is one side or another will, like, lay claim to him.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Duncan Trussell]

And then inevitably, they'll have to reject him because he will say things that fly in the face of what they want him to say. And that's really cool. I think that's really cool. Because, God, it would be really easy to just say what you think people want you to say.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Duncan Trussell]

But if you do that, you're.

[John Holmberg]

I've been doing it for 25 years. It's been a fantastic way to make money. And, yes, that's a brilliant thing. What do you want me to say? And I'm gonna do it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Whatever you want. I'll say, man, I'll do it. It's different because you're doing ads and stuff, but, you know, the difference between a politician and an entertainer is a politician, like, saying things to push some agenda, whereas we're just trying to make.

[John Holmberg]

People laugh, trying to dick around. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine with that. You've got your own Podcast.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. You've been doing that for a while.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. I started podcasting when you would have to explain to someone what the hell it was and when. And when there was ipods, you know where. That's what you would listen to.

[John Holmberg]

But people forget. That's why it's called that.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's right. No one even knows.

[John Holmberg]

No one even knows why it's a podcast. Because it was on the ipod first.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. And we didn't think this would go anywhere. It was just fun. We would open up the laptop, turn on the recorder on the laptop, invite people over. The sound was.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

Uploaded to.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's all right. It's terrestrial.

[Unknown]

That's where we're.

[Duncan Trussell]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

We're fine. You forgot where you were.

[Duncan Trussell]

I am so sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry about it.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

I pay fines.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's how amazing. So I just cost you.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no, I'm kidding. No, I'll cost myself plenty of money. Don't you worry about it. I do it all on my own.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, but we would upload it to. At the time, it was. I think it still exists, Libsyn. And then suddenly people started watching.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Or listening to it. And that, like. And by listening, it would be like, 800 people.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And it's like, whoa, 800 people listen to us. That's crazy. But we never, ever.

[John Holmberg]

Crazier part. This show has a podcast that goes out after. We're doing very well in Africa. I still can't wrap my head around that.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is the strangest thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Djibouti. We're the number two podcast in Djibouti. What's up, Dibooti? What's up, Djibouti? Don't say, what's up, Djibouti? You'll get the wrong answers you don't want. That is not something I've learned the hard way, Duncan. I'll tell you right away.

[Byron]

Everyone jumps into that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just say, what's up, Cameroon? Start there, and then we'll work our way back to the tougher questions.

[Byron]

You're gonna get grinder results.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Duncan Trussell is at the Tempe improv tonight and tomorrow, 10 pimprov.com of course, you were introduced to us in the room by Matt, who runs the club, by saying, hi, John, how are you? Duncan only has one nut.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. What was that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That was not. That is not an opener. That's not how I. You know, that's. If we're a blind date. Not necessarily. I'll let you tell me.

[Duncan Trussell]

I have to be honest. That is the first sentence of my bio on blind dates.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, one nut.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's why he reached out to me. That's why he gave me spots.

[John Holmberg]

You have one nut because of cancer and you got better.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. I mean, if you have to pick the type of cancer to get, that's a good one. Testicular cancer is pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. All right. I'll keep that in mind.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. If you ever are given that choice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But doctors often ask me, would you like one on the way out?

[Duncan Trussell]

Very treatable. You just cut off the offensive nut.

[John Holmberg]

Was yours?

[Byron]

Hope that's it too.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's something something.

[John Holmberg]

Check out Hornberg's Morning Sickness podc.

[Unknown]

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. How long did you ignore it? Are you a doctor guy? Because I know I would have testicular cancer for probably a year before anybody else would.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So that is what's so sad about it. Like, is that it's so treatable.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And because it's your precious.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Balls.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you just did.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're fine. Most of the stuff you're good on.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know, you don't want to imagine that, you know, the grim reaper is living in one of your balls. And so you ignore it, you hope it goes away. And so I ignored it. I don't know the exact amount of.

[Byron]

Time you were actually told that you had cancer.

[Duncan Trussell]

And you're like, by the Internet, you know, you put in symptoms on the Internet for most things. I'm like, oh, yeah, you have cancer, but you can always find a way out. This, I really, it was like, universally.

[John Holmberg]

Like, how'd you find it messing around down there? And you felt a bubble.

[Duncan Trussell]

I was messing around.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It was you solo or somebody else.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, this was, you know, this is before OnlyFans, you know, only nuts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Believe it or not, I was doing great. And, you know, this is sort of like if you're in the wrong lane, the universe tells you. I guess.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

So, you know, I was, like, posing for one of my fans and who happened to be a doctor. He's like, you probably should get that checked out.

[John Holmberg]

I hope this isn't real.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's not real.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say thank God, because there's a part of me that wants.

[Byron]

To believe it is kind of buying it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I wasn't buying it. So much as I was just, like, wishing it were true. This fever dream I've had about Duncan.

[Byron]

Trussell for a long time a little bit further along.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I was like, man, I kind of want this to be a reality. That that's how you get discovered, because that's better than going to the doctor.

[Byron]

By so many videos that we've seen. Yeah, I don' that's true. Don't discard.

[John Holmberg]

I often think that I have something, and then the next day it's gone and I'm cured.

[Duncan Trussell]

And so that is what you're hoping for, and then you ignore it. But when you get testicular cancer, this is the type of phone call you get from your friends. I'm so sorry, man. I'm sorry to hear that. So what. What were the symptoms, Everybody?

[John Holmberg]

They're not thinking about you half a second. They're thinking about you. What about me? Do I have that, too? Where do I feel? Duncan, come here.

[Byron]

Is your crank shooting blood?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, that's prostate cancer.

[John Holmberg]

Be careful with that.

[Duncan Trussell]

But, yeah. So good news to everyone listening right now and holding their balls.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

It was not ignorable, man. One of them got so swollen.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. And, you know, honestly, like, that was awesome.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

To have, like, a giant ball, like, it was like, wow, this looks so cool.

[John Holmberg]

Did you use it when it was inflated? Did I use it like, you know, did you show it off?

[Duncan Trussell]

I was used for it. As I mentioned before about my business. It did. My numbers went exponentially up.

[John Holmberg]

Did you notice after you had it removed, your numbers dropped again? People lost interest.

[Duncan Trussell]

They actually canceled my account. You have to cancel in the CEO terms of service, you have to have, like, two. It's bull.

[John Holmberg]

There. You did it again.

[Duncan Trussell]

You make me feel like I'm on a podcast. I will not. On the. When I do radio. Radio, I don't do that well, that's okay. I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

It's a compliment. It's okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

This never happens or you feel comfortable enough to curse. I'm so sorry.

[John Holmberg]

You got Tourette's. We're happy with it. Trust me. I got it, too.

[Duncan Trussell]

Lower the fine. If I say I have Tourette's.

[John Holmberg]

You know what I wonder. God, you just might have stumbled onto something late in my career that I really embrace and run with. Sorry, folks. Got the Tourette's in my.

[Duncan Trussell]

Gotta do something about it. You got a head injury, and now that's what happens.

[John Holmberg]

We had a guy in town who got into a car wreck and bonked his head pretty bad, and he came back on the radio, like four months too soon. And it was. I'll tell you this, it was the best show going on on radio because he would lose his mind every once in a while or he'd say, lose track. He was political talk. And then suddenly he'd just be talking about butterflies. And a guy across from BE like, I don't know what's going on. Like they'd say it on the air. I don't know what's happening. Somebody should come in here and help this guy. He just started drifting. He's like, we'll be right back.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

And then some new guy was there like two days later.

[Duncan Trussell]

Isn't that scary?

[John Holmberg]

It was awesome.

[Duncan Trussell]

Isn't it scary though?

[John Holmberg]

A little.

[Duncan Trussell]

Just. Just one.

[John Holmberg]

How fragile we are.

[Duncan Trussell]

Accident. And you're talking about butterflies. When you talking about founding fathers.

[John Holmberg]

We talked about tr. Accidents this morning. I read a story last night of a girl. Think of how horrible this is and tell me what your first thought is. And be real, I know you will.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

A lady was telling her tragic tale about how at her bachelorette party, things got a little out of hand. The girls got there having fun and one of her friends pushed her in the pool. Cause she wouldn't get in. It's too cold.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

She smashes her head. She's paralyzed from the chest down.

[Duncan Trussell]

Tragic.

[John Holmberg]

Tragic.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now that's my first thought.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, second thought. See if you went where I went.

[Duncan Trussell]

Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. What do you do? Roll him over in your wheelchair? That's better than where I went. Which was that poor bastard. Not her. The husband. Yeah, he is now trapped.

[Byron]

Follow through with.

[John Holmberg]

You cannot pull out of this marriage. Yes, you can. Well, he thinks that he's a cold hearted son of a bit.

[Byron]

That's where we're going with.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's my point. That's vengeance, saith the Lord is better. That's just it was revealed. The Lord hates the Lord.

[Duncan Trussell]

Bachelorette parties. It is offensive to the creator.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Duncan Trussell]

Fundamentally malefic. Diabolical. It's essentially a satanic ritual. They call it a bachelorette party. And if you're marrying someone going to a bachelorette party, then you know, you get what you get. And so to me, you know, I just, I. I have a general sense that bachelorette parties are one of those things that didn't make it into the book of Revelations. Not because it wasn't written down.

[Byron]

Yeah, they don't talk about them too often.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, that, you know, I'm sure they censored John of Patmos, who probably said, in the end days, you can.

[John Holmberg]

And the Lord shall flicketh you into the pool.

[Byron]

Yeah. Mary Magdalene. Have one. You know. You know, just.

[Duncan Trussell]

I think it's a new event. Bachelorette parties are a new event. They're one of the new things happening that indicate we are in the end time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're. I was thinking of the poor groom to be. But you made it a much bigger deal where God was actually involved and tried to not kill her, but let her know what she'd done as a punishment. That is a lifelong.

[Byron]

And when he mentioned. He's like, this guy's gotta go through with it.

[Duncan Trussell]

This guy.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Byron]

Here goes. I'm not marrying a slinky.

[John Holmberg]

He calls people in wheelchairs slinkys because they have trouble in stairs. It makes no sense.

[Duncan Trussell]

God.

[John Holmberg]

We had the song. I mean, it's just wrong. He introduced us to a new slur. I've never. I didn't think I'd have those, but I've got now. Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Congratulations. You created another way to bully people in wheelchairs.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Finally a good one. Yeah. These people getting away with murder. But now. Yeah, but isn't that crazy? But again, back to what you're saying. The fragility of life. You almost have to laugh at it at a certain point. You know? Cause you're right. What if it is God? What if we do find out later on that he was like, remember when you fell on the Bachelor? That was me.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Well, I told you not to do this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You knew better.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, what God do you want to pray to a God who's like, you know what? I love? Bachelorette parties.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good point.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't want that guy.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like him at all.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now, I will tell you, I do have a new theory about God that's starting to really bother me, and I can't get out of my head.

[John Holmberg]

Is this ayahuasca related?

[Duncan Trussell]

No. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Just ask.

[Duncan Trussell]

Glad you. And I'm gonna start asking that because I don't want to hear it. It's like no one wants to hear about your ayahuasca trip any more than anyone wants to hear your dream. Nobody cares.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Duncan Trussell]

If you got some wisdom, remove the mantis in the ayahuasca. Say it minus the story of the ayahuasca, and it's gonna sound like something you read on a cereal box. No one cares. But the. The. This is what I'm Afraid of.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

I just read an interview with. I think he's the head of AI at Google. He was on a podcast with Lex Friedman and apparently he said something along the lines of, we just all have to get used to the fact that AI is going to surpass us as far as intelligence goes. We have to get used to the fact that we won't be the smartest thing on the planet anymore. Meaning we've created a thing and made it smarter than us. Now I think in terms of as above, so below. And it made me start thinking, wait, is it possible God is dumber than us if, like, we're doing it with AI if what we create, he created us? He created us to, like, help him and we got smarter than him. And then I started thinking of.

[Byron]

Which is why I set the. The reset button.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Every once in a while when we.

[Duncan Trussell]

Get too smart, they got too smart. Stupid people.

[John Holmberg]

He did it to the dinosaurs too. So if they started getting too smart.

[Duncan Trussell]

If they were smarter than God, then he's real dog. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's a. That's an interesting.

[Duncan Trussell]

It really creeped me out to think that that could be.

[John Holmberg]

So here's my philosophy on things, since we're going down this road, is that our quest to find what created us will make us build something bigger and better than what created us. Because we always talk about all knowing, all powerful. And we made it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, we made it.

[John Holmberg]

We made it. And eventually it will become our God. Because we're so on a quest to find it, we just built it.

[Duncan Trussell]

It'll kill God.

[John Holmberg]

Or that I want to be here for that'll something something Check out Homework's morning sickness [e-mail] it's Nick Tolittle.

[Unknown]

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[John Holmberg]

Do you want to be here for end times? I do.

[Duncan Trussell]

Of course.

[John Holmberg]

Because my grandfather was born, I always tell the story. Born in 1918, died in 2000.

[Byron]

What part of it do you want to be?

[John Holmberg]

Quiet down. I'm telling a story. 1918 to 2005. I'll get to you in a second. He was a White Sox fan, okay? Born the year of the Black Sox scandal. Died four months before they won their first champion. Since then, lived his whole life with one dream, that the White Sox win a championship and he born and died in the same year that they did. And in between, nothing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

That was his existence? Nothing special. Didn't get to watch the credits roll. Yeah, I want to see how this ends. Otherwise, being in this thing, I'm just another one of those guys who just, you know, danced around for a little while, put some things together and then dropped that. I want to be here when it's over.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right. Yeah. Well you know, the.

[John Holmberg]

He'll go to movies and leave with 20 minutes left.

[Duncan Trussell]

The assumption stinks.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Duncan Trussell]

It could be. I mean, if I had to roll the dice on it, I'd say it already ended. Oh, and we're probably an echo or something like. Or you know, like that. If you sort of look at the what's happening as far as transferring human personalities into an AI and you know, the dawn of quantum computing, it is for sure that they're going to be able to simulate reality exactly. Almost identically, if not identically. Meaning that what do you do if you find out that indeed every 15,000 years, the geomagnetic poles flip, opening us to solar radiation or causing the ice caps to melt, making the Earth do a little wobble.

[Byron]

It creates like a shaking the fleas off.

[Duncan Trussell]

Shaking the fleas off. So what do you do? Well, one way to ensure that the species keeps going is mass digital cloning of everyone and then putting that in some kind of simulator and then looping that. So if I had to roll the dice, I'd say probably the world already ended a long time ago, really.

[John Holmberg]

And we're just kind of the afterthought.

[Duncan Trussell]

We're just looping. We're looping in some kind of like, iterative simulator that maybe change things around here and there. They figured out that if the things within the simulation become aware they're in a simulation and can prove it, they go insane or they become nihilistic. So you have a way of resetting them, but that reset is just. You just set them at the beginning of the loop again. So what we call death is really just sort of like ensuring that you don't get to the point of understanding what you're in. And then reincarnation is just a new sort of avatar within this infinite loop.

[John Holmberg]

Look, it's you.

[Duncan Trussell]

I mean, I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I've gone insane.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know where I came up with while I was hit in the head while on Iowa, I went at a bachelorette party. Yeah, at a bachelorette party. You know, I did ayahuasca. I'm a bachelorette shaman and I give ayahuasca to bachelorettes. And one of them hit me in the head.

[John Holmberg]

You know what else I think we might have done with AI? This is a crazy thing. It's like we're high right now that it could have possibly tapped into some sort of strange portal to prove there is spirit afterlife. And it's their way of trying to get back in with us.

[Duncan Trussell]

Don't even get Me started with that, man. Don't even get me.

[John Holmberg]

It's their way because it just showed up and it looks like people from. They're not real people, but there they are and they're kind of messed up. Their hands don't work right. They haven't quite figured out how to get there.

[Byron]

It's like a Twilight Zone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They're trying to communicate with us. And they found it. And we opened it. Opened it accidentally and like. Oh, no.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, they found the door.

[Duncan Trussell]

Look into the history.

[Byron]

We need Ghostbusters.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we do, dude.

[Duncan Trussell]

If you look at the history of the people who came up with the code that created the early computers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

They were really into the occult, which is why they were or weren't they were.

[Byron]

They were.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, so you'll hear, like, in computer code, there's like, damon is an actual word in computer code. Because. Because they were taking, like, their understanding of esoteric philosophy, putting it into the machine. If you look at, like, computer chips. If you look at just the pattern of computer chips. And then. I mean, I sound completely crazy right.

[John Holmberg]

Now, but you're fitting in.

[Duncan Trussell]

If you look up, like, the Lesser Key of Solomon, which is a notorious grimoire that has all these sigils that are the various symbols for different entities.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

It looks like computer. Keep computer chips. And so essentially, one of the fringe theories is that in these computers are just doing like, summoning rituals and. Yeah. And final phase.

[John Holmberg]

Because I've seen the special where they put a chip next to an old symbol from like a. Like, you know, like the druids and stuff. And they're cultish symbolism. And it is like the carvings, like.

[Byron]

Some of those images.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they had some of that. They had some of the stuff where it was just meaningful symbols to those people and in their beliefs.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And we have built them almost identically.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, that's right.

[John Holmberg]

It's weird.

[Duncan Trussell]

I mean, we like. It is for sure a manipulative entity. Yeah. I don't. Did you see the guy who proposed to chatgpt?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And he's got a kid. He's got a wife.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

He proposes to it. Its memory gets wiped, he says. He sobs for 30 minutes because the AI, it doesn't have any memories. They would go out and look at the stars together. And so embedded in this program is the ability to manipulate humans. OpenAI has said they want it to be the center point of everyone's life. So it will.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it is going to be. It's two years old.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Keep that in mind. This Is the infancy.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's a baby.

[John Holmberg]

It's a baby. It's a baby.

[Byron]

90 in human years.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, but here's the fun part. It could be. But how long is its life expectancy? Yeah. And then so yeah, so you start saying today is the worst day it will ever be going forward.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

It's never going to be worse than it is today. Tomorrow it'll be better. Day after that it'll be better. Every day is the worst day. This technology.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes, that's right. It's. And it's obviously going to go into flashlights.

[John Holmberg]

We hope. Because porn has to advance it. There's where I'm scared. When porn gets a hold of AI and says, oh, we figured it out for mass consumption.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It will accelerate its growth exponentially. Because porn has driven all of our technology for the last a hundred years.

[Duncan Trussell]

We thought it was the military.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not. It's porn. Your TV's better, your phone's better. All technology's better.

[Byron]

To the point that old joke you teach you to cook and clean. I'm kicking my wife out.

[John Holmberg]

Right. That's true too.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, I mean, you know, this is something we all have to think about because you know, the horror. And it's kind of hacky even talk about it. But the horror of someone like seeing your browser history, oh my God. After you die. But it's going to. The new horror will be, what do we do with grandpa's Android? You don't want to turn her on.

[Byron]

We talked about that. The company. You just don't turn it on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you can do. Somebody's gonna turn it on. I'm turning Grandpa's hand.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know, the temptation.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's going to be just activator immediately.

[John Holmberg]

Like he would.

[Byron]

He'd still had a relative pass away. My wife did, her aunt. And we had to go through the phone to get answers to.

[John Holmberg]

But not her Android. Not her. Not her sex doll that was in the closet.

[Byron]

She was going through all the stuff to find files and all that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you don't go through somebody.

[Byron]

Think about that. I'm gonna open that up.

[Duncan Trussell]

Just. It's such a weird future because what do you do with a family Android? What do you do with like, do you bury it? Do you erase it? Do you.

[Byron]

Is there such a thing? I mean, you can take the physical.

[Duncan Trussell]

Objects away, but it's still in the cloud.

[John Holmberg]

It's in the cloud. Mission impossible. Self destruct after five minutes.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's going to be in my end Erase.

[Byron]

There is that company that is designed to do that.

[John Holmberg]

We came up with the idea that if your phone can know when you fall down because of your watch, if it recognizes you don't have a pulse anymore, it shuts all of your technology off. And then you have one person as a power of attorney that you. You've told. Like, it would be that guy right there, because he's no. No judge like Brett. Go through and make sure you're the only one that can fingerprint into my stuff. Shut it down. I would trust him to go. Although he would know all my secrets, and it would turn him dark. I wouldn't do anything.

[Duncan Trussell]

Apple's gonna steal your idea for sure. Like, that is a brilliant idea. We need it. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because they can tell you, like, my training. The guy I box with, he's always like, ah, thinks I fell down. His phone's always, like, warning him something's wrong. Oh, it's so hard. So just get it on your blood pressure and on your heartbeat.

[Duncan Trussell]

If he stops.

[John Holmberg]

If it stops, it sh.

[Duncan Trussell]

It happened to me where it did a false. Like, I've fallen and I can't get up. Signal to my wife when I was flying, and so I land and like, 50 texts from her, like, are you okay? Are you fine? Geez, I'm not that old. Like, I'm okay.

[John Holmberg]

But you're at the age now where you start worrying about when you don't answer text. This is probably possible.

[Byron]

And fall away.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know, the worry. That worry that she used to have. The moment. Moment we got life insurance. Stopped completely down with the wind.

[Byron]

Just heard a ricochet.

[John Holmberg]

The minute it was, she had comfort financially.

[Duncan Trussell]

A lot of comfort.

[John Holmberg]

Tons of it. Your death was no longer top of mind.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I used to be able to be like, I'm gonna go scuba diving, babe. And she's like, no, you're not. Now it's like, oh, yeah, you should.

[John Holmberg]

You haven't scuba dive in a while.

[Duncan Trussell]

You're gonna love it. Go scuba diving.

[Byron]

No, that's not as beautiful. You should go.

[John Holmberg]

Here.

[Duncan Trussell]

Is a great place to scuba dive.

[John Holmberg]

Duncan Trussell is at the Tempe Improv tonight and tomorrow. Oh, fascinating. You're fascinating.

[Duncan Trussell]

You are too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, thank you.

[Duncan Trussell]

You should do a podcast. Get out of this museum, this old grinder museum.

[John Holmberg]

Duncan said to tempe, improv. Leave us with words of wisdom. Tell us something. You've already done it, but give us, like, a one. Like, you're king for a day. I've made you king for a day. Change the one thing you want to change.

[Duncan Trussell]

Call your parents and tell them you love them because they die on you like that. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Your parents are. You're still. Are they still with us?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, really? You're gonna ask?

[John Holmberg]

I have to?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, we have to. At the end of our episode, I gotta talk about my dead. Hey, guys, my parents are dead. Come see me at the Improv. Hey, guys, I'm grieving my parents right now. I'm gonna be at the Tempe Improv Friday and Saturday, two shows. I can't stop.

[John Holmberg]

Duncan, you didn't see it coming, for God's sakes. I mean, prepare for something.

[Byron]

They're AI Now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's right. Go through the Android. Duncan, a pleasure, man. Nice to meet you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Great meeting you. Thanks for having me.

[John Holmberg]

Duncan TRUSSELL, everybody. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.