08-20-25 - Frank Caliendo - Desert Ridge Improv - In Studio

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Frank Caliendo In Studio

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98KUPD | Hubbard Radio)
Episode: 08-20-25 – Frank Caliendo – Desert Ridge Improv – In Studio
Date: August 20, 2025

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Overview

In this episode, comedian and master impressionist Frank Caliendo joins John Holmberg and the crew in the studio to discuss television, comedy, the evolution of performances, and the realities of working in show business. With trademark wit and a barrage of spot-on impressions, Frank gives insights into his creative process, reflects on his time on "Frank TV," and riffs on everything from sitcoms to security systems—with plenty of laughs along the way.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. TV Shows and Character Development

• The hosts and Frank discuss how iconic shows often start rough, with poorly defined characters.
  • Shows like The Sopranos and The Simpsons are cited for their awkward early seasons and later evolution into classics.
  • “Tony is not ... He hadn’t become a Muppet yet.” – John Holmberg, (02:03)
  • Early Homer Simpson voice as Walter Matthau and shifting character roles ("It's the boy," 02:45).
• Debate on what makes a show launch strong—“No shows ever start off great except for Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul. Frank TV, which started...” (02:16)

2. Behind the Scenes of 'Frank TV'

• Caliendo shares his frustrations about the editing process and creative limitations.
  • “When you took all the air out of it, you're going, well, it needs the timing…” – Frank Caliendo, (04:12)
  • “I felt like I had a lot [of control], until it was the very end ... then it was just so stuck...” – Frank Caliendo, (03:55)
  • Discusses the difference between cutting for comedy and sports, and how a sketch show's rhythm got lost due to network interference (04:43–05:07).
• The impact of the 2008 writer’s strike and public reception on the show's short run.
  • “…Got cut the first year, got cut by the writer strike. Then the second year, got cut by the public.” – Frank Caliendo, (05:55)

3. The Changing Landscape of Comedy

• Frank reflects on how he’d approach projects differently today, favoring grounded roles in dramedies.
  • “I would rather be a small part of something really good.” – Frank Caliendo, (06:05)
• The appeal of being a character in a drama with comedic moments, à la “Better Call Saul” or “Breaking Bad.”
  • “Because in real life, things aren’t joke after joke. It’s awkward situations.” – Frank Caliendo, (06:17)

4. Life & Career Outside of Comedy

• Caliendo considers what he’d do if not for comedy—mentions wanting to be an architect as a kid, then pivots to perhaps being a PE teacher.
  • “I wanted to teach, but … wasn’t enough money in F ed.” – Frank Caliendo, (12:01)
  • Joking about gym teachers, their physique and attire, and “Mr. Pfeiffer stories” (12:31–13:00).

5. The Art of Impression & Evolution in Performing

• Both hosts and Frank talk about how social media and AI have changed public expectations for impressionists.
  • “AI killed impressions because … people are like, that's not very good and people are going nuts over it.” – John Holmberg, (14:24)
• Frank explains his current approach—using impressions as sound effects to punctuate stories rather than extended bits.
  • “I try to use them as sound effects now … just using those little ones and then I can call it back and do this.” – Frank Caliendo, (15:01)
• Demonstrates multiple quick-switch impressions (Obama, Owen Wilson, Joe Biden) (15:22–16:43).
• Challenges of new voices—struggling with Elon Musk as an impression and notes Elon as a sort of amateur ventriloquist (17:13–18:18).

6. Inside Stand-Up: The Improv and the Audiences

• Frank discusses his reasons for performing only one show on Fridays at Desert Ridge Improv.
  • “If I can get out of two show Fridays, I do… I don't like the Late Show Friday because it's not fun.” – Frank Caliendo, (09:17)
  • Notes Friday late shows are “the liquor show” with “drunker” audiences (09:24–09:49).

7. Home Security & Suburbia Riffs

• Lighthearted discussion about gated communities, alarms, and suburban paranoia.
  • “Our neighborhood is more of a … it's paranoid white women. … It’s a privacy gate.” – Frank Caliendo, (21:42)
  • Anecdote about their home alarm mysteriously triggering police response (22:05–23:36).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Frank on show development:
  “It almost feels like a cartoon. I mean, it's like a dreary cartoon … Going back and watching it just, yeah, it was even a little hard to get through going, I guess. Is this … going for comedy here or straight drama? It was just … the timing was weird to me.” – Frank Caliendo, on The Sopranos (01:15)
• John on network interference in sketch shows:
  “You cut highlight to highlight to highlight. Maybe a little build, big highlight, highlight. That's not how comedy works.” (04:49)
• Frank on his own evolution:
  “I would rather be something interesting that can be thought of as maybe funny, but different happening in a drama…” (06:09)
• Frank on impressions today:
  “AI killed impressions because … makes impressionists who are good at it look at people are like, that's not very good. And people are going nuts over it.” (14:24)
• Frank on ventriloquism & Elon Musk:
  “He's a ventriloquist. He's not great at it. He's just a beginner ventriloquist. He's just gotten the record albums. He's been playing Edgar Bergen.” (17:45–18:22)
• Frank on suburban security:
  “Our neighborhood is more … paranoid white women ... It’s a privacy gate. Ours is a privacy gate. It’s not actually a security.” (21:42)
• Frank on the meaning of ‘interesting’:
  “That’s interesting not good or funny. I hate when you’re honest.” (24:16)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Early struggles and growth of TV classics: 01:00–02:50
• Frank TV, editing woes, network influence: 03:30–05:58
• Would Frank do sketch TV again? & preferred roles: 06:02–07:19
• Impressions and how social media/AI changed the craft: 14:20–15:48
• Live impressions: Obama, Owen Wilson, Biden, Musk: 15:22–18:18
• The comedy club circuit & audience insights: 09:17–10:14
• Suburban security, home alarm debacle: 19:02–23:36
• Frank’s career alternatives (architect, teacher): 11:08–13:00

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Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is lively and packed with quick banter, inside jokes, and bursts of impressions, matching the off-the-cuff, irreverent style Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is known for. Frank’s openness about the industry, mixed with comedic self-deprecation and riffing with the crew, gives the episode a loose, conversational, and highly comedic feel.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

• If you love TV nostalgia, the comedy process, or want a window into standup and Hollywood (with plenty of tangents), this episode is for you.
• Frank Caliendo is at his best—playful, thoughtful, and willing to poke fun at himself, his career, and the absurdities of modern life.

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Catch Frank Caliendo live: Desert Ridge Improv – tickets at desertridgeimprov.com
Find Frank’s work: frankonstage.com

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[B]

It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the Core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time, he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain. You've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the Core institute dot com. Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on.

[A]

No, no, he's not.

[C]

He's not evil.

[B]

He's just a bit rude. Talking about the TV show. How'd you do that? I had all this other stuff in my brain and I was the other.

[A]

Let's go back.

[B]

Well, I forgot.

[A]

Did you know that you have rights?

[C]

The Constitution says you do.

[A]

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Yeah, I can do.

[B]

We were talking about. Yeah, television shows that kind of got off to terrible starts and then became the great Seinfeld's. Another one. Cheers. Another one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But the Sopranos, because Larry's watching it again. Not good. When it starts.

[A]

I go back to watch it and I can't tell if it's. It almost feels like a cartoon. I mean, it's like a dreary cartoon. It's. But it's. It's. Because it becomes so great. I remember it more at the end. Going back and watching it just. Yeah, it was even a little hard to get through going, I guess. Is this a. Is it going for comedy here or straight drama? It was just. The timing was weird to me.

[B]

They didn't have. They hadn't developed the characters yet. Right. And then going back and watching again because they were so well developed, seeing them so shallow is even harder. Yeah, it's really weird when you watch the first season of Sopranos and you're like, Tony is not. He don't even talk later. He gets you into the whole, you know. Come on, Kamala. What are we doing around here earlier? It's not that. Yeah, it's not. He hadn't. He hadn't figured it.

[A]

He had not become a Muppet yet.

[B]

Yeah. Right. He hadn't done it. What was this all about? It's the first seasons of the Simpsons.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When Dan Castle. Homer is Walter Matthau.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's not even close.

[A]

Bart flip. Like, what's.

[B]

It's ridiculous. Yeah. And their roles are totally different. Yeah. He's actually a stern, get it done dad who steps in his own crap all the time because he's just so focused on making sure the family's okay. And then he becomes a bumbling moron.

[A]

And Bart's like, is he Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation or Chevy Chase and Fletch? Like you don't know which. Like you're trying to figure out. Is he. Does he know what's going on and get lucky that everything? Or does he just not have any idea what's going on?

[B]

I just remember all he used to say in the first few. It's the boy. And that's all he was. Like a totally different voice. Then he became. It was crazy.

[A]

And it was Walter Bath.

[B]

It was. That's who he wanted it to be. Yeah. It's from Bad News Bears. Ah, Mad. We've got a game against the Athletics. And you can hear it when he starts saying that. What's that mean for the Athletics? Bad news for them. Damn Athletics. You're goddamn right. That's Homer. I mean, it's the same thing in season one. That's weird. No shows ever start off great except for Breaking Bad and Better Calls. Say, Frank TV and Frank tv, which started. You know what the good thing about Frank TV is?

[A]

No.

[B]

You. It never had a chance to develop. So you had. It's the same every time you watch it. Nothing ever.

[A]

I remember when I saw the first edit. I'm like. Of one of the shows. Probably the first show he did. I'm like, what happened? They cut out all the setups to just do punchlines. I'm like, but you have to have the setup. Otherwise you don't know. But we got to get to the last. I'm like, but there's no laugh in some of these things if you don't let it build in half a second to understand why there's a punchline.

[B]

How much control did you have over.

[A]

That in the end? I felt like a lot until it was the very end where they were cutting it together. Like, then it was because I was just so stuck. We're, you know, shooting eight pages a day or whatever it was.

[B]

Did the other cast members of Frank TV think to Themselves. This is not going the way we want it to. Or did they have.

[A]

No, I think we were having fun. And I thought it was while you're shooting, you're laughing and going, this is good. And then you would see them cut all the air out of it because it was going to be in prime time as a sketch show. And you're like, but you're cutting this out and then putting. I don't get what's happening here. It was not what I mean, they were still essentially similar to what was written. But then when you took all the air out of it, you're going, well, it needs the timing for.

[B]

It's timing these faces. Yeah, that's a, that's rough with.

[A]

Otherwise it looks like you're trying to.

[B]

Well, you say that ESPN stuff you used to do. Same thing. They would cut out all the breaths because funny people do. Doing editing. Yeah. Never happens.

[A]

That doesn't happen in sports. You don't, you don't, you don't. You cut, highlight to highlight to highlight to highlight. Maybe a little build, big highlight, highlight, highlight. That's not how comedy works.

[B]

No, you have to have that moment.

[A]

And you have to have, you have to have an emotional connection. Like so you couldn't get that on the, on the editing side of it. Like, we don't have time. I was too busy and I trusted everybody, which are. They were good people, but they were also just listening to what the network had to say. There's so many people in that stuff and, you know, deciding how the final product. Product is going to look. And then it was, you know, I. One thing I said, I wanted it to have more of a film look and be not bright, not over the, the top bright. And by the time it got to tv, it was all bright.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right now it looks like cartoons.

[B]

Do you have copies of Frank TV at the house?

[A]

I don't, I don't.

[B]

Don't have any of them.

[A]

I probably have them somewhere, but you have to.

[B]

I, I don't know, like rough, like old, like outtakes and stuff.

[A]

I don't, I don't really have any. Frank. Yeah, I don't save anything.

[B]

I don't either, but that's one I would save.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

TV show on TBS for a year.

[A]

Two.

[B]

No, year and a half. The other year nobody watched. Was it a year and a half?

[A]

I don't know. No, it was. Got cut the first year. Got cut by the writer strike.

[B]

Oh, that's right.

[A]

Then the second year, got cut by the public.

[B]

Would you do it again?

[A]

No, not that kind of a show.

[B]

What would you do?

[A]

I would do something more real based. I do something like. We always talk about. Better call salsa. I would rather do. I would rather be a small part of something really good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I would rather be something interesting that can be thought of as maybe funny, but different happening in a. In a drama with. You know. Because in real life, things aren't joke after joke after joke. It's awkward situations.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's Larry Davidish. You know, it's that. How do we get ourselves into this ridiculous moment? And somebody's always driving us into it. What's this all about? And why can't we stop it from happening?

[B]

You would rather be in the Sopranos than curb your enthusiasm.

[A]

Lavelle Crawford.

[B]

Yeah, Lavelle and Better call, so.

[A]

And, yeah, I like that kind of stuff. Yeah. I mean, I don't mind. I would not want to be in Curb, but I think in terms of doing a small part, especially if it. If it had moments of actual acting in it, I think that'd be more fun. Yeah. Like in. In Breaking Bad type of stuff. Or Better Call Saul. Those things. Like the. When the Sklar brothers show up and Saul like, ah, this is a dream.

[B]

We're here last week and they. I remember texting Jason or Randy. I don't know. I was texting Sklar, is all it says on my phone, because I'm not sure I'm. They don't think I talked to Randy. I think they switch.

[A]

One of us has the mustache. I don't know. You.

[B]

I think they swap sometimes. Class.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I was texting with Randy and I'm like, oh, my God. This is what you were telling me you couldn't talk about. He goes, yep. I wasn't even allowed to say I was on it. And I'm like, this is. This is a new. Like, my. Like, looking at you is different now because you're now part of.

[A]

Yeah. I don't ever get those where I have something that I'm in that I can't. I have the auditions that I can't talk about. Like, what can't talk about?

[B]

Well, you can now. You didn't get it.

[A]

No, there's. I'm trying to think about what's.

[B]

Have you recently auditioned for anything?

[A]

I just did something yesterday.

[B]

No kidding?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it serious?

[A]

No, not. I don't know.

[B]

No. Meaning. Not like a comedy. Like, is it serious that you.

[A]

It's actually voiceover stuff.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

It's actually cartoons.

[B]

That's why your brains on that Yeah, I think so. Oh, that's why when we were talking about sex dolls, he brought up raccoons and squirrels.

[A]

Well, yeah. What are you going to do?

[B]

That's why we'll say that's why.

[A]

Will Sasso. I thought you were gonna say lemon.

[B]

Yeah, but Will Sasso's in that show with. That's a great show.

[A]

He's got great stuff.

[B]

He's been doing some really good stuff.

[A]

One of the things is if you're around Hollywood and these guys are. He's a great. He's a very good actor. Great actor. And great comedically great impressions and all that kind of stuff too. But you. You hang around Hollywood for a long time and people get to know you and they kind of will put you in little things eventually. If you're having me, I've been outside of it. You live in Tempe.

[B]

Nobody can tell.

[A]

It's on the border one street over Chandler.

[B]

Yeah, you go running across there all the time, but you just.

[A]

You got to be around people all the time. Just slinging it, schmoozing. Yeah. You hate it. I just.

[B]

That's why you're at the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend. Thursday or Friday through Friday, one show.

[A]

Because I demanded a single show.

[B]

Is that right?

[A]

I won't. I don't.

[B]

I hate you don't do.

[A]

If I can get out of two show Fridays, I do. Why I don't like the Late Show Friday? Because it's not fun.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

I need to have fun for the audience.

[B]

Why is that not fun?

[A]

Because it's drunker.

[B]

You're tired of just dealing with, you know, the crowds.

[A]

Say we get good enough. You don't have to do second show Friday.

[B]

Is that right?

[A]

Yes. And Saturday is always good because people have been off that day. But Friday, people go to work. Yeah, especially my audience. Mostly. Mostly people who work.

[B]

You don't have a lot of unemployed fans.

[A]

The second show is the liquor show. It's just not fun. It's just not. It's so.

[B]

It's the audience's fault. It's not fun in.

[A]

On a Friday late show.

[B]

Yeah, no kidding.

[A]

You can make them good. But I don't want to work that hard.

[B]

I'm gonna go stern on you. How much do you suppose what you just said is why? That somebody once told you if you're. If you're good enough, you don't have to do a late Friday show. So in your brain you're like, okay, that you made.

[A]

Because if it was good enough, if it was worth the money. I would. But you made. I'm that much of a whore.

[B]

Of course. I know.

[A]

Really? I just said. I just said. I just. That that's. That's like Chris Rock's saying, keep it off the pole. You know, that's the same kind of thing.

[B]

You're on the pole.

[A]

Yeah, but. I know, but I mean in terms of. You want the second show Friday? People, even the clubs, if they didn't have to do it, they wouldn't. But you have to for the economic model. Sure, but.

[B]

So who's the Late show Friday?

[A]

I'm not sure.

[B]

You don't care?

[A]

No.

[B]

You just don't care.

[A]

It's a drag show, but it'll be better for them because it'll be whatever they have. It's the only show they probably have. I always say, well, get a tick tock star. Or there you go. Get somebody who's gonna do one show, come in and do a meet and greet for 600 bucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have no act and it's brutal.

[B]

What would you be doing if it wasn't for the Frank Caliendo world you live in now? What's Frank's. What would you have done?

[A]

Only fans is out.

[B]

You think you would have done anything that way?

[A]

No, no, there's. What would I have done? I used to tell people when I was a kid, I want to be an architect. I had no interest in. No. I don't know why.

[B]

Just an Easy maybe.

[A]

Mr. Brady. That might have been the only reason. A lot of other reasons. You're very.

[B]

Wait a minute. Because he was homosexual in real life?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, I see. I didn't understand.

[A]

How do we follow that one with those eyes?

[B]

What?

[A]

Twinkly. Go watch A Very Brady Christmas.

[B]

Oh, that's when we all knew you could you. He was very gay then.

[A]

100%.

[B]

The sweaters and the skinny and the like. He kept it together and he never. He didn't. He didn't turn into a heterosexual.

[A]

Older man, tight architect.

[B]

Yeah. He kept it tight with that family. So. That's interesting. You.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I. What? What would I do?

[B]

What's Frank without comedy? What's comedy without Frank?

[A]

Teach.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. No, no, I could do.

[B]

You wouldn't do that.

[A]

I wanted to teach, but I was going to. I was going to teach. Wasn't enough money f ed fed.

[B]

Who's that? Is that the. That's a Middle East. Oh, physical F ed. You called it physical. I always call it fizz ed.

[A]

Fiat. Yeah, we go fi.

[B]

You called it fahead. That's like a Middle Eastern kid's name. Yeah, Fayed. I just teach Fayed.

[A]

Yeah, it was our teacher.

[B]

Give me your Fiat. I got something for you.

[A]

I don't know. What would I.

[B]

You don't know.

[A]

You've never seen Frank doing gym class?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Frank could do some gym. You. You were built like a gym teacher.

[A]

Yeah, I got the bike shorts.

[B]

You did the baby shorts, the whistle. Yeah, yeah, I can see you yelling at Donner.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Like Mr. Pfeiffer used to.

[B]

Who's that?

[A]

That was my gym teacher.

[B]

Oh, you had.

[A]

Mr. Pfeiffer was built.

[B]

He was jacked and he had.

[A]

He. He was. He was the freshman coach for a year, then he moved up to the high. Like the. The up the ranks in high school. But he was strong. He was a powerhouse.

[B]

We had. Brett went to the same junior high as I, and we had.

[A]

He did. You did.

[B]

Yeah. You're younger than me. And Coach Morgan was a bodybuilder. Chippendales dancer.

[A]

Oh, Coach Leanne Morgan.

[B]

That's right, Leanne Morgan. That's right, Leanne. Number three on Netflix. Holmberg's morning sickness. And it used to shelter the Chippendale movies.

[A]

Do you remember that? Michelle loves Leanne Morgan tried to watch that show and was like, I can't.

[B]

You can't watch it.

[A]

Can't do it.

[B]

I don't know. People are talking about that show like it's great.

[A]

Like there's double Amazons.

[B]

Well, beyond that, every single line, there's a laugh track. Like they'll even.

[A]

I didn't even see it. And that's why I predicted.

[B]

Yeah, my grandma's dead.

[A]

Stop it.

[B]

No, I'm just saying lines.

[A]

They're bathing the grandma. They never explain why they're bathing the grandma.

[B]

I watched it. I hate watching. I'm like, what is happening here? It's like, we just gotta get her in the tub. No, that's not funny. That's horrifying. The whole show is. Every line is a laugh. Hi, I'm home.

[A]

Chuck Rohr is involved.

[B]

Yeah, it's like a dude who knows what he's doing. Yeah, we're going to get you. It's.

[A]

It's Netflix.

[B]

It's.

[A]

Well, it's the got up field to the world.

[B]

The dumbing down of everything. All right, tell us who you're working on. Who's something that. What are you watching? What in public? What in the public is a voice guy working on? I have found that I don't work on anybody anymore.

[A]

I don't really until it hits me.

[B]

Because it has to. Like until I get it like it used to.

[A]

We usually go back and forth.

[B]

Yeah. We haven't done that in forever. Where you get a new guy and you're like, hey, I got this new. But I don't know that anything like I've said that AI killed impressions because. And I also think that TikTok and stuff did too. Because makes impressionists who are good at it look at people are like, that's not very good. And people are going nuts over it.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. Trying to think what's. I've been throwing lots of little things in there. Aren't even that. That aren't even that it like the Mark Ruffalo finds its way into the act and the. The. I find that I try to use them as sound effects now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

As opposed. Which was my goal at the beginning because I loved Robin Williams and Jonathan Win. Jonathan Winters would more play as the character the whole time. But I always like to thinking of as like a radio producer. You do this yourself, John. But pressing the button at the right time. Like, I'll say I'm talking about watching Obama and how Obama would, you know, hypnotize you with the way he talked.

[B]

In the slow at the beginning and speed up at the end.

[A]

And you're sitting there. It didn't matter what he'd say.

[B]

We must rectify.

[A]

A difficult situation that we're contemplating in perpetuity. And then you're just sitting there going, yeah, yeah. And then you turn into Owen Wilson. Wow. That is really, really great. That is unbelievable. So it's just using those little ones and then I can call it back and do this. But so much of my act is like walking around as Joe Biden. Amy. When people got mad like I was in Philadelphia the night. The day they. They came out and finally said something like, man, Joe Biden might not have been all there, you know, the whole time. And I'm thinking, that's news to whom.

[B]

Yeah. How did.

[A]

And I'm actually putting the M on whom. And Joe wouldn't have.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I. I could have told you. I told you. I've been telling him on it for. Put an M there so the M M your hands, not your mouth in. In whom's frosted place.

[B]

Whom's mouth to the M's mouth. Who's. Who.

[A]

Who's. Who's who's on first.

[B]

How many licks does it get to.

[A]

The center of an M?

[B]

3. Who?

[A]

2. Who 3.

[B]

Wow. I could get to the center in 1.

[A]

I'm already in the center. I've got. I drilled to the center there.

[B]

When you look to the center, you'll find me.

[A]

I just found out. I just realized. We are impression squad brothers.

[B]

It's annoying, but it's fun.

[A]

So the. So when I. My joke has become. Because some people get, like, upset about, like, you're making fun of Joe Biden. I'm like, no, I make fun of Joe Biden when he was president and completely healthy. I didn't see it.

[B]

It's just the guy I'm doing. Yeah. People made jokes about it, and then they. They get upset when you trying to.

[A]

Figure out how to get. Because I can't get it right. I don't know if you've just started doing them or do him, but the Elon Musk.

[B]

Yeah, that's a tough one. There's that thing that happens, you know.

[A]

You know. You know, he's got. And takes me a while to get into it, and then I can find it, but I can't do it.

[B]

I've noticed the Elon Musk thing because I did it for a little. I tried to get one and I stopped when he was going crazy. And on TV every day. Is that he doesn't move his mouth. It's all tongue work, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And so. Yes. What his name?

[A]

He's a ventriloquist.

[B]

Yeah. He's not great at it.

[A]

He's not great.

[B]

He's. He's a amateur.

[A]

Ven.

[B]

That's what it is.

[A]

Thank you. See, how do I work on new stuff?

[B]

Learning everything. I come see you guys. Elon Musk and. And Jeff Dunham puppet. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And it's. And it's Biden. What the hell?

[B]

Yeah. There it is. Walter. That's beautiful.

[A]

And I'm Peanut. Look at the size of my peanut. Peanut.

[B]

That's a great idea.

[A]

I'm a Lousal.

[B]

The fact that he's. That's perfect. He's a ventriloquist. He's not great at it.

[A]

He's just a beginner ventriloquist. He's just gotten the record albums. He's been playing Edgar Bergen.

[B]

He still struggles with V's and V's. V's and V's. Vs and V's are tough. V's and V's. It's amazing amount of waste. It's amazing amount of waste.

[A]

It's funny how yours became a Nazi.

[B]

Well, how you doing? He did the thing, the salute. Anyway. Oh, Frank is here goofing with Us. But he's at the Desert Ridge Improv this week.

[A]

I gotta head out soon.

[B]

I know. We gotta get you out. Desert Ridge Improv, that's where you go. We have a load of laundry.

[A]

Oh, no. I put an alarm in.

[B]

Oh, for what?

[A]

The house. Keep it safe.

[B]

You live in a gated neighborhood.

[A]

Who do you think I'm trying to keep.

[B]

Keep out the other gated. The other gated people are trying to get into your house.

[A]

Double gate system.

[B]

Wait, a gated neighborhood? You have Alar.

[A]

It's a waste of money. No, it's not. Absolutely no.

[B]

Well, that's like when they have. I always look at churches that have cameras. You don't believe.

[A]

You think there's no alarms on places with gates?

[B]

No, I don't think there's a need for it. I think that's a. That's a ridiculous amount of fear.

[A]

How many break ins have you heard? Climbers. There's. There are people all over.

[B]

There's people having sex with raccoons.

[A]

Squirrels running around just walking out of that house. Nobody's dropping their nuts.

[B]

There has never been a need for that.

[A]

Oh, yeah, no, there are. Yeah.

[B]

What's the worst thing that's happened in your community?

[A]

Somebody put a pool in.

[B]

Oh, my God. Well, then there's some landscapers you have to worry about as well. That's really. Who you're trying to protect against, is the people you hire to come do the work you won't do. Yeah, great people. Great people.

[A]

I love them.

[B]

Some of them.

[A]

Supposed to be.

[B]

Some have disappeared too. They don't come to work anymore.

[A]

And I know you talk about Elon Musk being a ventriloquist. Some of these workers, they're magicians. They disappear.

[B]

Did you see today that they're gonna paint the border fence black to make it hotter? That's real. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

We're doing that by the touch.

[B]

That's why Elon quit. It was waste and fraud and everything else. Then we're gonna take. We're gonna go to Benjamin Moore and paint the entire fence black. Just because it's too hot for Mexicans to climb. That's why they're doing it.

[A]

And does will the black paint absorb that much?

[B]

Oh, yeah. It makes a difference. Can't.

[A]

We couldn't just put shards of something in it? Maybe just put shards of glass in the paint?

[B]

Actually, what a great idea would to put heating coils in it and just gets too bloody. Or fire. Just have it fire. Fire all the time. Always.

[A]

You climbed up a wall of burning fire. No, you didn't. You didn't climb up it.

[B]

You didn't make it.

[A]

You didn't make it.

[B]

Hopefully you people can really jump. I've heard rumors, and I hope you can make it over because right now you can't get. But yeah, so that's a. That's a real thing. Interesting. An alarm on your house. Yeah.

[A]

You don't have one.

[B]

Well, yeah, but I'll tell you, it's got.

[A]

No need.

[B]

I've got no gates. There's no code. I can't.

[A]

Why not? Just can't. You can get into our neighborhood. You can get into our neighborhood without. You can crawl under the gate. It is.

[B]

Nobody would see that.

[A]

I know it all the time.

[B]

Brady. If Brady can crawl under the gate. It's not a gate, first of all. It's. It's basically a high jump.

[A]

But if that's beginners limbo.

[B]

There's no camera at the gate to your neighborhood?

[A]

I don't know. I don't think so.

[B]

There has to be. What's the point of the whole gate?

[A]

Our neighborhood is more of a. It's paranoid white women. Yes. No, it's. It's. It's a privacy gate. Ours is a privacy gate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not actually a security. And that's probably for.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

But why all of a sudden now you want. No, we have an alarm. We're just updating the alarm because our alarm armed itself the other day and called the police.

[B]

Oh, it did.

[A]

And Michelle was not home. And I was there eating an Rx bar. And the police officer comes up to me and she called. She goes, did you press a distress signal on the alarm? I'm like, no. But I walk out into the. Where the alarm is. I look at it. It says armed. Joey and I are the only one home. He's at the back house. He's not there, and he wouldn't touch. He hates the alarm. Y. Because he likes to steal. So he. I look at it. It says armed. And then I put in the code and it turns off. And I'm like, I don't know what happened. So while she was talking to me, I was hanging something in the closet or something like that. She calls me and says, did you set off the alarm? I said, no. She said, I'm on with the police right now. They're going to come. Can you. Can you look at it? Can you give us the code word or whatever? She does the code word and there's like, we have to come out. And I go out and that's when I see it's still armed. And nobody had armed it. So it somehow called the cops on itself. Yeah, and it had. And then I talked to the guy who's the alarm guy who's gonna eventually probably redo our alarm maybe today. He said, well, that's a totally different signal. That is the code you put in if you're already broken in.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, when you're in distress and somebody's in there. Yes.

[A]

So that's what it called. And that's why they couldn't call it off, because it still armed and that code had not been put in.

[B]

So the only thing that has ever broken into your house that's caused distress is the alarm itself.

[A]

And possibly no, I don't know.

[B]

And you're appeasing Michelle is what you're doing. She wants the new alarm.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, that's pretty much all it is. Just say so. That's okay.

[A]

But I think I don't mind having. I just don't like turning it on. And it's got a new app and all sorts of stuff. The app that it was on, because I asked her, I go, did you have the app open that it could have done that? And she's like, no, we got to go to break. And Frank's gotta go.

[B]

Is it connected to your blood pressure?

[A]

Perhaps.

[B]

Maybe that's there.

[A]

There's a very big possibility that your blood pressure. Desert Ridge Improv. I'm doing this so Toledo will have me back.

[B]

All right. Desertridgeimprov.com as always, Frank Caliendo is interesting. And we had.

[A]

That's interesting not good or funny. I hate when you're honest.

[B]

That's better. That's better. He was quite interesting today. That was a nice chat.

[A]

It's a nice chat.

[B]

I can't believe we're friends.

[A]

That's why that's. You know what? That's why people on the Internet don't believe we're friends. Because they'll say, john said you're interesting.

[B]

That means you didn't like this thing.

[A]

No.

[B]

What am I, Johnny Carson? I didn't give you the okay.

[A]

I don't really care. Yeah, I don't really care. I just know it's gonna be. I'm gonna get hit with it.

[B]

You're interesting. That was interesting. That's better. Everybody knows you're funny.

[A]

I believe. Better. Interesting's better.

[B]

This is a better word.

[A]

Funniest course. And I. Frankonstage.com to see what really happened today.

[B]

Frank is present. Would have been awful, so I had to come up with something new.

[A]

Frank's last visit.

[B]

Yeah. Well, for Brady, maybe. You know, Any final words for Brady?

[A]

I'll try and pop in Friday.

[B]

Oh, yeah, for sure. Just say goodbye.

[A]

Yes. No, I just figured I'm the dick. You guys have been making that same joke for weeks. I came in the school. I forgot. I know.

[B]

That's like, our N word. We're allowed to kill Brady. You're not here alone.

[A]

Brady with a hard arm.

[B]

He said hard on first. His last one. Gotta get that in. Yeah. Anyway.

[A]

All right, I'll try. I gotta hear.

[B]

We'll talk to you Friday.

[A]

He won't be.

[B]

Frank will be here for you. Yeah, he'll be here. All right. Good luck. Give him a hug. Goodbye, Frank. Caliendo Desert ridgeimprov.com It's not weird.

[A]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[B]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[C]

I'm here on the job site with Dale, who's a framing contractor.

[A]

Hey, good morning.

[C]

Dale traded up to Geico Commercial Auto Insurance for all his business vehicles. We're here where he needs us most.

[A]

Yep, they sure are.

[C]

We make it easy for him to save on all his insurance needs. All in one place with coverage that fits his business and bottom line. Oh, I shouldn't have looked down.

[A]

It's all right.

[C]

We're so far up here.

[B]

Look at me.

[A]

Take a deep breath.

[C]

I'm good. So good.

[B]

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