Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Opening Break (09-04-25)

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98KUPD, Arizona)
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely
Date: September 4, 2025
Episode: Opening Break

Episode Overview

This lively episode kicks off with the crew embracing the return of football season while riffing on everything from reality TV quirks, murder show fascinations, suburban paranoia, charity hypocrisy, and a recent chicken wing eating contest. Blending humor, irreverence, and social commentary, Holmberg and company dissect modern American obsessions—especially our appetite (literally and figuratively) for spectacle, crime, and football.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Football Returns & The Death of Social Life

• John Holmberg launches into celebration of the NFL’s return, joking about how it overtakes lives and relationships for the next several months.
  • “Goodbye, ladies. Goodbye, wives. Goodbye, friends. Goodbye normal society. Goodbye, normal television viewing. Goodbye Netflix… Hello, NFL Network.” (03:01, John)
• They poke fun at “weird” football relationships where sports enthusiasm seems mismatched within couples.
  • “What are you doing with that guy? It is always weird when you see a wife that's into football and the husband's like, I just, it's sportsball. Doesn't interest me. I'm like, you're married. You got a beard. How come nobody told you?” (03:18, John)
  • This leads to playful speculation about hidden sexuality among TV house-hunting couples.

2. Reality TV & Subtle Social Commentary

• They riff on “International House Hunters” and “My Lottery Dream Home,” noting the absurdity of people with millions buying modest homes and the unspoken subtexts about the couples featured.
  • “Every time I watch, I'm like, how come nobody tells her her husband's gay?” (04:05, John)
  • “That show is for some reason just fascinating. And he has a lot to do with it. He does a good job.” (07:02, John on host David Bromstad)

3. Neighborhood Murder & the Obsession with Crime

• Holmberg shares a story about a recent murder near his rental property. He jokes about how his odd coming-and-going habits might make him a suspect.
  • “They gotta think it's me because I'm sure I just did it again. I just showed up to roll the trash out. I do. I go in, I come out, it's like five in the morning, it's two in the afternoon, and you know, ins and outs, and ins and outs.” (11:09, John)
• They reflect on society’s collective fascination with murder and true crime, contrasting it with the horror of actually committing a crime.
  • “All we do is watch murder shows. All we do is listen to murder podcasts. People are fascinated by murders.” (12:18, John)
  • “Nobody ever, like I said to Brady, nobody ever, in a big city starts a tourist of places where people didn’t get murdered… We’re creeps. We’re just, as a whole society, we’re—yeah.” (13:40, John)

4. American Gluttony & Wing Eating Contests

• Holmberg recounts his humbling experience in a charity wing eating contest, where the juxtaposition of excess food and passing by the “Feed My Starving Children” charity made him reflect on American hypocrisy.
  • “I had to pass this giant charity to feed the hungry.” (31:08, John)
  • “It’s just wrong for you to go to Feed My Starving Children and then go to Wendy’s and get Frosty’s after.” (31:13, John)
• They imagine a mashup TV show where food contests take place alongside feeding the hungry, satirizing both American excess and attempts at charity.
  • “We take all of these contests we have of gluttony and overeating and we just get, like, 10 starving Africans to stand there with Joey Chestnut and crush—they drop dead.” (34:54, John)
  • “Combine this misery of starving people with food eating challenges. Now that’s a show.” (35:08, John)

5. Charity Transparency & College Sports Rants

• Discussion turns to the salaries of charity CEOs and the sometimes questionable integrity of big non-profit organizations.
  • “I looked it up online and the CEO of Feed My Starving Children made $330,000...” (42:37, John)
  • “There’s like a whole site of all the charities and what CEO gets paid.” (42:43, John)
• Holmberg critiques commercials asking viewers to “save college sports,” especially given the surge in big-time college team revenues and “name, image, and likeness” (NIL) deals:
  • “Ohio State is paying their football team $30 million a year. You save college sports? You’re asking me for money? Are you out of your minds?” (43:39, John)
  • “Not much. That’s why everybody—what’s the point? Thank you. Make it a farm system and just stop with the college lie.” (46:53, John, on the NIL-vs-pros debate)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Football’s Cultural Takeover:
  “Hope you kissed your wives goodbye. And to those weird wives that think they’re into it as much as we are, okay. I hope you kissed your husbands goodbye.” (03:12, John)
• On Reality TV Couples:
  “Those are always weird relationships when we all know your husband’s gay and you don’t.” (03:25, John)
• On Fascination with True Crime:
  “Being a murderer, that would be interesting. Like, I don’t have it in me—kind of wish I did.” (12:39, John)
• On American Eating Contests vs. Poverty:
  “I was at a room last night where six people were competing for $1,000 to eat as much as they could. America. Meanwhile, these pricks are up until 9 o’clock every night packaging boxes for places that have no money or food.” (34:23, John)
  • “We live in a nation… You don’t go to Mexico and see Feed the Hungry American store. It’s not there.” (33:25)
• On Charitable Contradictions:
  “Just change the the and the my. Just get rid of the my. ‘Feed the Starving Children.’” (42:05, John)
• On College Sports Fundraising:
  “College sports is in trouble. TCU only paid $19 million for their entire football roster. Can you imagine how poor it would be? They don’t have a chance at a national championship!” (46:47, John)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Football Returns & Relationship Comedy: 03:01–04:00
• Reality TV & Social Subtext: 04:00–06:58
• Murder in the Neighborhood & Crime Fascination: 11:08–14:48
• Wing Eating Contest & Charity Hypocrisy: 26:11–34:54
• "Feed My Starving Children" Satire: 31:08–36:53
• Charity Salaries & Transparency: 42:05–43:19
• Rant on College Sports & NIL Era: 43:20–47:34

Tone and Style

The episode delivers its content with the signature irreverent, sarcastic, and fast-paced banter the show is known for. Holmberg is particularly adept at blending biting humor with genuine cultural observation, ably supported by Brady and occasional interjections from Bret. No topic—from charity to murder, football to food—is safe from their satirical examination.

Summary Takeaway

“Opening Break” is a quintessential Holmberg’s Morning Sickness episode—hilarious, provocative, and rooted in the contradictions of American life. From the obsessive spectacle of football to the weird guilt of charity, from reality TV's unspoken stories to our comedy-laden obsession with true crime, the show leans in to entertain by questioning, poking fun at, and occasionally disturbing its listeners about the things we all can’t stop watching (or eating).