09-22-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness — 09-22-25 — Full Show Summary

Overview

On September 22, 2025, Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show, "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness," returned after a busy weekend in Phoenix. Hosts John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo covered the aftermath of a massive event in the city (implied to be the Charlie Kirk memorial), local sports drama, stadium logistics, personal hygiene debates, and their signature blend of irreverent humor and heated opinion. Technical difficulties in the studio became a recurring comedic bit, and listener interaction fueled much of the banter throughout. This snarky, spontaneous episode is filled with memorable quotes, sharp jabs, and local flavor.

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1. Main Themes

• Aftermath of Phoenix’s Big Event: The hosts recap a major memorial/rally in town, poking fun at out-of-towners, stadium logistics, and the city’s divisive reputation.
• Cultural Observations and Satire: Sharp commentary on crowds, political rallies, and the “cultish” feel of mass gatherings.
• NFL Sunday Recap: Animated rants about the Arizona Cardinals, player controversies, and general football shenanigans.
• Daily Life Relatability: From spray paint vandalism to food tracking apps, the crew dives into everyday annoyances and weirdness.
• Technical Problems: The team jokes their way through a morning plagued by malfunctioning microphones and equipment.

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2. Key Discussion Points & Insights

A. The Phoenix “Super Bowl” of Memorials (00:00–16:00)

• Massive Crowds & Logistics:

  • The team marvels at the sheer scale (lines forming at midnight, 70,000 attendees, desert heat).
  • They debate if stadium concessions were open during the memorial, wondering: "Were the hot dog guys working a funeral?" (16:02).

• The City’s Reputation:

  • John wryly thanks visitors and tells them to get out:

    “It absolutely stinks. So get on your planes and go home now. … The city's nothing but illegals and hillbillies and they're constantly fighting. You're gonna hate it here.” (01:02)

• Production Quality:

  • Pyrotechnics, screens, and crowd management impress the crew.
  • They question who pays for such productions and if it's taxpayer-funded (09:06).

B. The Crowd & the “Cultish” Factor (11:10–16:00)

• Observers note the memorial felt “a little cultish.”
• John:

  “We don’t like division, but when we see it all in one group and it’s almost everyone of like mind, that’s even weirder… we like somewhere in the middle of that.” (11:46)

• Brady compares it to Promise Keepers and other religious mega-events.
• Emphasis on “right-wing” homogeneity and critique of forgiveness rhetoric.

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C. Sports, Pet Peeves, and Fandom Wars (24:01–38:46)

• Arizona Cardinals & Michael Vick Jersey Controversy:

  • John and listeners remain angry at Kyler Murray for wearing a Vick jersey, recounting Vick’s animal abuse crimes in detail.
  • John:

    “For those of you who don’t know, [Vick] used to crack the spines of dogs over the posts… smash their heads, electrocute them… Put your jersey on, Kyler Murray, and walk around with pit bulls.” (25:36)

• NFL Recap Rants:

  • The crew gleefully mocks the Cardinals' latest loss, argues about uniforms (especially the Browns’ “turd brown” color), and relishes in the grief of Packers fans after an upset.
  • Uniform talk is irreverent:

    “[The Browns] were dressed like turds and made me laugh.” (38:16)

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D. Spray Paint, Graffiti, and Deodorant Woes (45:19–61:14)

• Penis Man Returns:

  • A mysterious graffiti artist tags buildings across Phoenix.

    “Penis man is back…same handwriting…an institution in this city.” (45:19)

• Why is Spray Paint Locked Up?

  • The crew puzzles over why stores secure spray paint but not brushes or rollers — pondering theft, huffing, and profiling.

• Yucca App Anxiety:

  • Discovering the Yucca food app, they spiral into despair as beloved snacks, drinks, and even deodorant receive terrible health ratings.
  • John, on Dove deodorant:

    “It is 0 out of 100. I'm not supposed to eat it.” (58:12)

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E. News, Fun Facts, and Listener Interactions (81:16–89:01)

• Entertaining Anecdotes & Odd News:
  • Rapid-fire exchanges on the true start of seasons, Lake Superior’s water capacity, the word “dudeen,” and TP-ing house bans.
• Listener Inputs:
  • Listeners report their food scores from the Yucca app, share their event experiences, and engage in real-time banter.

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F. Brady Report & Advice Segment Highlights (121:00–140:00)

• Family, Boundaries, and Home Life:

  • Debates over car cleanliness when gifting your child a classic Jeep.
  • Gross-out stories and solutions for spouses who won’t flush toilets or clean up after themselves.
  • Relationship advice about mother-in-law overcommunication and long-lasting sex (much laughter at Brady’s expense).

• Quotes:

  • On family hand-me-downs:

    “You can’t give an heirloom to somebody and watch them wreck it…take it back.” (130:25)

  • Flushing etiquette:

    “Flush the goddamn toilet in the morning.” (125:12)

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G. Miscellaneous Bits & Technical Fumbles

• Mic Troubles:

  • The team’s equipment continuously fails (“All the mics are broken”), leading to slapstick chaos and jokes about the studio being “on hospice.” (41:09–42:51)

• Studio Culture:

  • “We’re like Brady’s kidneys — we’re just failing left and right over here.” (42:28)

• Listener Emails & Call-ins:

  • Continue to shape topics, ranging from product complaints to detailed sporting questions.

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3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Glad you came out and had your moment…But it’s nothing but illegals and hillbillies and they’re constantly fighting. You’re gonna hate it here. Am I selling it?” — John (01:02)
• “And here was the worst part. One of his best men died two weeks before the wedding. So they had like a little service for him in the middle of the whole thing.” — John, on Catholic weddings (18:12)
• “For those of you who don’t know, [Michael Vick] used to crack the spines of dogs…here’s another fun thing…” — John, describing Vick’s dogfighting cruelty (25:36)
• “The Browns were dressed like turds and made me laugh. Winning turds?” — Brady (38:16)
• “Penis man is back…he's expanding his territories.” — John (45:19)
• “It is 0 out of 100. I am not supposed to eat it.” — John, on deodorant scored by the Yucca app (58:12)
• “Flush the goddamn toilet in the morning.” — John (125:12)
• “You can’t give an heirloom to somebody and watch them wreck it...take it back.” — John (130:25)
• “We’re like Brady’s kidneys — we’re just failing left and right over here.” — John (42:28)

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4. Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Time Range | |-------------------------------------------|--------------| | Phoenix Event Recap and Satire | 00:00–16:00 | | “Cultish” Crowd & Groupthink | 11:10–16:00 | | Cardinals & NFL Rants | 24:01–38:46 | | Graffiti & Store Security Bit | 45:19–49:34 | | Yucca App and Health Product Panic | 53:23–61:14 | | Listener Interactions & News | 81:16–89:01 | | Advice Segment (Brady’s World) | 121:00–140:00| | Technical Difficulties/Comedy | 41:09–42:51 |

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5. Tone & Style

• Sarcastic, irreverent, rapid-fire banter
• Arizona-local color and inside jokes
• Willingness to tackle taboo or “gross” topics with humor and candor
• Listener engagement is central; frequent reading of emails and real-time feedback
• Will riff on anything — nothing is sacred, everything is a potential punchline

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6. Conclusion

This episode is a prime example of "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness": a blend of topical commentary, sports fanaticism, personal ranting, and local observations with a uniquely blue-collar, Arizona edge. Highly engaging for regular listeners, the episode excels at converting even everyday gripes into humor-filled shared experience, while their hapless battle against technical difficulties underscores the show’s self-deprecating approach.

Transcript

[Brett]

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[John]

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[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Okay. Yeah. Well, Brett's broke. Say again? Nope. Completely out. Well, you're not on.

[Brett]

No, you got the wrong button.

[John]

Oh, I know. Why. How about now? Nope. Scooch over there. Are you serious? The whole place is broken. Nope, that's no good either. That one's out too. Yeah, hold on. Let me see about this one. Go. Nope.

[Brady]

Hello.

[John]

There we go. I got you, buddy. I gotcha. All the mics are broken.

[Brett]

Nothing in this place works.

[John]

You're walking around like a seal blowing horns. You're just going into each mic. That's impressive. All right, now we got you figured out anyway. Yeah, it was. It was one. It was pretty amazing. I mean, I had a couple friends texting me at like 4:40 in the morning, standing in line for that thing, and they were deep in the line. That line started at like 11 or 12 the night before, and people were in line for it and they wanted, you know, anybody who went. Yeah, I had a few people who I knew. I was texting me pictures from inside. And I got to tell you, it's touching and all that stuff, but I can't sit through a funeral that long.

[Brady]

That 4:30 and then it was an all day session.

[John]

It was an all day session. And I get it, it's a big deal, but man, oh man, I mean, were they. Big question I had. Were they selling beer? And were. Did they.

[Brady]

That's. I said the same thing. I go, are the concessions open? Yeah, it's everything that had to be.

[Brett]

Maybe not beer, but I mean, they had it to the.

[John]

To the people who own those. Those little shops. I know that it was mainly run by. Because our friend from Eric's family barbecue used to have a place in the stadium. And he. He said that the stadiums overlords allow the name. You put the menu together and then they kind of take it over. Which is why he said I couldn't be part of it. I can't have the name. I can't have their quality be my name.

[Brett]

So just some schmo on the west sides doing your stuff?

[John]

No, it's like you're.

[Brady]

No.

[John]

You have a contract. Yeah, it's. Yeah, you. You give them the menu. You give them the idea. And then I get. And they wouldn't let him shop his own airports. Sky. Sky King. And then the one up there is probably. I don't know what they call it, but it's a stadium thing. So he's basically like, if this is what people think of my barbecue, like, it won't be the Same as what they get at the store. And I don't want that to suffer. So he kind of was like, I'm paying a lot of money to do this and it doesn't really make sense for him. But I don't know if they're allowed to just go turn the lights on. If you technically have your store in there. Like the spinatos, are they. I don't know, they're all over. Can they just go in and turn the lights on? Start serving pizzas on a day where there's 65, 70,000 people in there for.

[Brady]

Six hours because it would be hard not to. You're thinking, you gotta eat, man.

[John]

You gotta have a drink.

[Brady]

At least at the same time. I was, you know, I was around watching early when it was the worship session.

[John]

Oh, man.

[Brady]

And that music went on for an hour maybe.

[John]

Oh, at least it started at like five in the morning, six in the.

[Brady]

Morning, the crowd, to see if people were eating stuff. And I asked Ronnie same thing. I wonder if they have the concessions open. Probably not.

[John]

Why?

[Brett]

Well, how can you. Six hours of no water.

[Brady]

I've gone to an event at similar stadium like the. I mean, years ago, Promise Keepers.

[John]

Oh, you went to that men's sex meeting.

[Brady]

Well, look, when we went to Joel.

[John]

Yeah, it was a men's sex meeting. They didn't notice the time. But Olsteen, we could get soda. I got a soda.

[Brady]

I don't remember that.

[John]

Yeah, I got a Coke. Maybe that's it. Maybe it was non alcoholic stuff. I don't know.

[Brady]

Yeah, I don't.

[John]

Yeah, but anybody went, let us know. Yeah. If you went there. Fired over there. Because that's all I could think about was just. It was killing me, man. It was like, you know, watched the whole entire Steelers game. And about two hours prior to that, just on one of the TVs, I was, I had it on and that, you know, they had all the faith people that was like 8 o' clock in the morning. They didn't get that thing started till noon. As far as the speaking.

[Brady]

Yeah, they actually had a church service, I think.

[John]

Sure. And then noon starts and then all that gets going. And then at 4:00', clock, 4:30, Trump's still up there. And I'm like, geez, how's when does this end? And they screwed that up. And I know Trump's the president and all that. He should have been second to last speaker because the wife should have gotten the last word. It was. Trump went out there. The only thing I like, I giggled because right before he went out, I just crossed my fingers and I said, please don't talk about Jimmy Kimmel. Please don't talk about Jimmy Kimmel. Don't bring up anything other than why you're there. And he did. Antony did it then. He did. And, you know, we've been through it. Charlie and now Jimmy Kimmel. And, like, no, no. And he was brief, and he went on. But my. I did giggle that after all that emotion from Charlie Kirk's wife talking about, you know. And to me, it's. I'm not saying I don't believe her. It's that religious, kind of forced, I'll forgive you thing. And everybody claps. There's no. Absolutely no way she meant that. Nobody means that. No human being can be like, I forgive you. It's forgiven. No, no, no, no. You're saying it. You want to believe it, but you wouldn't, like, have that dude over. And, you know, that's. Forgiveness is like. It's in the past to me, anyhow.

[Brady]

I think I do.

[John]

They would, but it would be tough, like, deep down inside. And that's human nature. So I don't. That forgiveness thing is like. And I'm with Trump on that, because he came out in his speech a little bit after that. I don't know about Eric. I'm sorry. I hate my enemies. He just flats at it. And I'm like, that's kind of how I feel. So I live more in that world. I don't know how she does it. I hate my enemies. I'm not gonna. I don't welcome them. I don't care for them. And it was like, all right, that's the thing to say here, but hilarious. It's the thing to say here. It's the most brutally honest moment of the whole thing. But, yeah, it was pretty. Pretty amazing that that whole thing went off basically without a hitch the whole entire time. So, again, time to go home now, though. I saw a lot of interviews beforehand. Yesterday, I was getting the Stevens.

[Brady]

I mean, it's like three times what a Disney ride was. People getting into the stadium.

[John]

Oh, you mean the snake to get in. Yeah, they've got that. That's. They did that at the super bowl in Dallas. And that was the biggest one I've ever seen. I think they. They borrowed that safety measure. I think it was Super Bowl. Built the whole thing like it was the Super Bowl.

[Brady]

And the stage was amazing.

[John]

Oh, it was pretty awesome. I watched, though, the before, and they're interviewing people as they go in. I'm From Texas. I'm from Utah. I'm from Wyoming. Buffalo. This place sucks. There's nothing you're going to like here. Go home to your weird Wyoming house and live in that. Tell people that Phoenix is nice but sur. And then I heard on the radio on the way out that it's nothing but illegals and hillbillies and they just fighting and fighting. That's exactly what it is. That's all you need to know. Don't look into it. Just get out.

[Brady]

Who picks up the tab on that whole thing? The stage and all that?

[John]

Good question. Yeah. Who paid for.

[Brady]

That's pretty expensive.

[John]

The other thing was who got the graphics together that quick pretty awesome kind of setup. And the. They had pyro like the. You know every time someone would get introduced they had that stage of giant sparkler fire. I kind of blown away that they threw that together in a week or so and like all right.

[Brady]

It was all hands on deck. Evidently in the production.

[John]

Evidently Pyro, giant screens. It looked like you know, it looked like the exact same setup as when Avenged played with Metallica years ago. That was what I saw. I was like do you buy a. That was a question I had to do you buy. Buy a generic stadium package of what a What a band would do that when Taylor Swift comes it's like we don't have our own stage. It's like we got one. We'll let you borrow ours and it's a fee. I don't know who I thought it.

[Brady]

Was borrowed from the GOP the big to do the convention maybe. But that was in an arena little different setup.

[John]

But I'm like it was also in a small.

[Brady]

There's a production company that we got this.

[John]

This one laying around stadium one is like borrow. It's can't. It's not cheap. We've tried to put concerts on with friends as far as pricing goes and KPD is like yeah, you get this, we get that and like yeah well it's still going to cost you. Well she got the couple million dollar.

[Brady]

Stage and they collected well people donated a couple million to the maybe pays.

[John]

For a stage family pyro and it was pretty impressive. So but there it is and that's. And again airports are going to clog up today and that's fine. Get out, get out before the rain comes get your plane in the air wheels up at now and leave my town. That's how I look at things when I see all these foreigners. The Phoenix open the super bowl everything else they come out Gosh, this place is lovely. And they leave their tattered, messy lives.

[Brett]

It was amazing how fast they got everything together for that. I mean, that was a production. We can't barely get a tent in the van out to a van stop for kupd, not only, let alone this barely.

[John]

We can't. And we've got a team dedicated.

[Brady]

We don't have the budget.

[John]

We do. We can't pitch our own tent and show up at the right Safeway.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

Oh, I know that. And it just blows your mind that you can put that stuff together. It was amazing. I don't know if the Turning Point group put it together. If Charlie's company, I think.

[Brady]

Oh, well, if. If Trump's coming out there. But then how do you allocate that? You can't do that because now you're taking money from.

[John]

Yeah, this guy.

[Brady]

Taxpayer money.

[John]

Yeah. You can't do that. This guy said, I don't want to sound bad. Hopefully doesn't get me in trouble or anyone else. I watched the entire thing and got the feeling it started getting a little cultish. Did it feel cultish to you? I think all things of. There's a weird thing that we all say that we don't want to be divided anymore. We don't like the idea of this is it's too much division. But when we see it all in one group and it's almost everyone of like mind, that's even weirder. You know, that's. We don't like a full homogenized group think. And we don't like division. We like somewhere in the middle of that. But yeah, anytime you get a group of churches or like you went to that, like you said, that Promise Keepers thing, when everybody's got this hyper focused singularity, it does get. It does get awkward. But it was a funeral of like minded, like 90%, maybe more Trump supporter, right wing. It could have very easily turned into a right wing rally, and I'm glad it didn't. And whoever was in charge backstage saying, keep it down on the whole politics of this dance. You can mention it, but don't. We're here for it. We always reset back to one thing.

[Brady]

The majority of the speakers and people involved are on the right.

[John]

Oh, it's all right. There was nobody for, you know, Van Jones. But it gets, it gets a little weird when no matter what, and if you got a group of people doing one single thought and there's 70,000 of them, then they filled up Desert diamond arena next door. The, the, the hockey place that filled to capacity where people had to go home. Imagine standing in line, you get there at like 5, think it's 5 in the morning. Thing doesn't start till 12, we'll be fine. And you get there and you're like, we're not going to make it. How. And I saw another thing when they. In the morning, they had people walking around with things that said like white six, red one, you know, like your section. And they were these giant printed signs, like boarding a plane kind of. But it was no, it was like they were walking people around their area. Like this is where you sit. If you have a. A white nine or a red six, like this is your section. So they would hold it up. It wasn't like by section 203, seat this. It was like it's all first come first. And that had to be put together too. Yeah, I mean, go to.

[Brady]

So you'd go online, get your ticket and it would say, I guess go.

[John]

To Kinko's and try to get those signs done in a week. It's impossible.

[Brady]

Did they tell you to wear a certain color shirt? Then they could have a really cool.

[John]

Yeah, the red and the white. Yeah, we have a white out. Like Penn State's kick ass whiteouts. Those are pretty neat. Anyway. Yeah, it was a. It was quite an event. Quite a unique and historic thing. And I'm with you, Alex. It's not a bad thing to say that, that it was. It felt a strange bit cultish.

[Brett]

It would have been that way either way though, right?

[John]

Right. Oh, yeah. No, it didn't matter. It's not. Yeah. It's just mono thought. Yeah. It could be a Mormon thing. All Mormons. It's Joel Osteen, which is cultish in itself. But boy, when you're in there, you're like, yeesh. This is wildly cultish. And like, where are these people's minds to think for themselves? Not that. That was yesterday. That was the Osting thing.

[Brady]

And did the whole thing come away? You know, was it more divisive or was it a show of hey, let's get along nothing?

[John]

No, it was. I don't think there was any. Nobody's going to get along better and nobody's going to divide from it. It was what it was. Which this guy says, John, I was at the event yesterday and I can tell you it was quite an amazing experience. However, we did have to park two and a half miles away from the stadium and walk. And the freeway was backed up for six miles. So not just the 101, but the i10 and we were able to get in in the second deck. Pretty good seats. 50 yard line. Ish. But man, I can tell you, sitting in stadium seats for that long for a guy who's not short today, I'm in a lot of pain. All in all, though, it was nice uplifting event, which I think has been lacking recently. Once people started talking, it went quickly because there were barely any breaks. Yeah, that's cool. There were no, like, bands resetting. So it did help them before sitting in a seat for two and a half hours doing nothing and standing in line for four. It was not fun. That was pretty brutal.

[Brett]

Yeah, but didn't answer the question. Concessions or no concessions.

[John]

Yeah, we're still wondering, were you actually.

[Brett]

Pouring a Coke or what?

[John]

I mean, yeah, I'd have to. And is it. Is it kind of rude to go, I gotta go grab a hot dog. Like in the middle of that whole thing.

[Brady]

I gotta eat something in the middle of someone talking.

[John]

Well, you think about it. Think about that. That's what I was waiting. Were there dudes that were run. Running up and down for at least with water. The. I've been to funeral, Catholic funerals before. We were doing that joke yesterday all day to screaming like, your mama made lemonade.

[Brady]

But. But life.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. Or like they do at the. The Diamondbacks games now, which is in Spanish, up and down the aisles. I didn't even like. The dude was yelling for hot dogs and something like something pero of blah, blah, blah. I'm like, what's this? And he had churros and hot dogs. Not. Anyway, so I've been to like a Catholic funeral and by the way, I don't love anybody that much. You can be my best friend forever. And if you're a Catholic and you have a Catholic funeral, I'll visit your grave later. I'm not going to that again. Two and a half hours of blah, blah, blah. And then the funeral starts. And so. And they don't have a spinatos in the lobby. You can't. You get up and pee every once in a while, stretch. And you. You can't go eat. They don't have like a hot dog vendor or anything, so.

[Brady]

My dad was Catholic too much as one hour.

[John]

Yeah. Did they do the mass, though?

[Brady]

The. The priest basically goes up there. Then my brother did the eulogy.

[John]

Yeah, but they didn't break out a mass because that's what happened at the one I went to.

[Brady]

I mean, it was all encased into one.

[John]

They packaged in an hour. That's rare. Those Catholics like that. Weddings. Catholic weddings. Oh, forget about. No way. You again. You could be my best friend because we're having a wedding. It's at the Catholic. No, sir. I'll see you at the reception. There is no way. I went to my buddy Ray's wedding and he didn't tell me that and I didn't know about Catholic weddings.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

He goes, get there about 11 and we'll, we'll get us out, we'll get it going and we'll get the party started. I'm like, that seems reasonable. 11 o' clock wedding is smart. And we'll be out, be drinking all day. I was in that. I'll say G.D. just in case somebody goddamn church until 4:30.

[Brady]

You got your spiritual aerobics in there?

[John]

I got no stood up, sit down. And here was the worst part. One of his best men died two weeks before the wedding. So they had like a little service for him in the middle of the whole thing.

[Brady]

Oh, throwing a baptism.

[John]

Yeah, but knock it out. I went to one baptism. I went to and it's like, I don't like your kid that much to start with. And I know he's not going to be cool for at least 18 years. I'm not interested in this. And it was on a Sunday and even the priest said, I know you guys, this is tough because you're peeled away from football. And luckily it was a bye week for the Steelers. So they're peeling away from football on a Sunday. Nobody wants to be here. That was the first thing he said. And I'm like, man, you nailed that. That's the most honest a priest has ever been.

[Brett]

It was an Irish wedding. Were they passing a bottle of jamo through the.

[John]

No, through the pews. That was the worst part. It was a bunch of guys getting shaky, dry, drunk Irish people just waiting for the lens this bar to open up. I'm sure they had some flasks in there. It was awful. You Catholics, you guys, you do not know how to party. That is unless it's the girls with the, you know, afterwards. But in the church. Oh my God.

[Brady]

It's a two or three block for.

[John]

Miserable LDS would never go. But I was 11 till about 4:30. And then Ray's like coming to the after party and I'm like, is that dude in the dress going to be there? Because he wouldn't shut up for six hours. No, he's got to be there. Got to have father there. I'm like, well, I have a nice life. I'm out Your party's gonna just be a bunch of drunk Irish people and a priest telling me what I've done wrong.

[Brady]

You get home and party's going fine. And the priest, like, I'd like to say a few words.

[John]

Another 45 minutes, stand up and talk a little bit about TJ, who we lost two weeks ago. It's like, oh, my God, it was brutal. Brutal. So it was a man. It's a big one. But if they had. If they had concessions, I would understand it. I mean, and you just can't bring it back to your seat. If they were serving wieners, like you go over and. And he said, yes. There were people going back and forth the whole time with trays of food, sodas and sandwiches. Chicken fingers were.

[Brady]

There we go.

[John]

All right, so. All right, somebody had the fryer going.

[Brett]

So you don't have the hot dog guy. All right, pass down 10. 10 guys down there. All right, all right, hang on, hang on.

[John]

Get your card out, get it back. Don't Forget, there's an 18% tip added if you'd like to.

[Brady]

I got to pay that rent.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I mean, stadium.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So, I mean, he offered it to him.

[John]

That's a tough gig, too, is sitting there deep frying chicken fingers all day. You have. How many did you. You got to pre order that. You got to know how many out they had.

[Brady]

No.

[John]

Six hours.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

They're only used to like three hour football games. They. Holmberg's morning sick when Trump was there. Last call. Yeah, have it up on the screen. All right. The last call for beer, folks. I don't know. It was a. It was an event. That is for sure. So what a unique thing. And the people who email and I'm reading them all the subject lines are like. It was amazing. It was incredible. It was great. Good for you guys. I'm, you know, that's pretty great. But it was as another thing, Bruce noticed what I noticed. Every time the camera will go to the crowd, I'm like, there aren't any black people there at all. Like, that was the whitest group of people I've maybe. I mean, it looked like Taylor Swift was gonna take the stage. It was. It was a stadium filled with mayo. I bet you they ran out of mayonnaise. There's 70,000 white people in one room. It was white. Maybe they just didn't show the black guys. But there weren't many, if there were any at all. Maybe the workers at the, you know, concessions. That had to be a tough kid. But I'm Making all that money, who cares? That's a good thing. But. Yeah. So time to go. Yeah, the interviews beforehand, they had, you know, families. One lady from Philippines flew out for this. Like, man, they're televising it. I just. Crazy. So then we move on to what. What else we did yesterday. Well, that was all kind of this obvious thing that was going on in the corner of our. Of our city. This guy said, yeah, this football was the most important part. And I realized that after last week's Kyler incident with the Michael Vic jersey and everything else, I am now a staunch hater of the Arizona Cardinals. And I can say that out loud. I used to not care about them because they're meaningless now. I. Now, yesterday I laug. Laughed hysterically at the mis. Sorry, Cardinal fans, but your quarterback. And it's. That guy can eat it all day long. I got this email scratcher. I got this email, which I love, from a guy named Gene. It says, John, I heard what you said about Kyler last week and I was mad at you. So what? He had the Vic jersey on. Big whoop, right? Then I read what you said because I didn't believe it to be true about what Michael Vick did to those dogs. That situation left me reeling. I had no idea, man. Then he says the holy. That dude was a monster. I immediately wrote a letter to the Cardinals and said, I'm done supporting them until they unload Kyler or acknowledge this issue with more than that weak ass explanation they gave. Everyone should read the horrors of what Michael Vick did. Wow. Is there room on the Steeler bandwagon, Gene? Geez, I don't know. Yeah, you could do that. But don't start asking yourself over stuff I don't know, Eugene. That kind of creepy. But you can be a Steeler fan. Plenty of great Steeler bars around. And yeah, I'm with you, the Cardinal, so long as Kyler Murray's there. Until he makes some sort of massive donation to the Humane Society or the Cardinals do that was reprehensible, the decision that he made. And. And you know, then again, like, if.

[Brady]

It was Sinclair's decision, he'd be suspended in.

[John]

Oh, yeah, no, and they. And he should. Yeah, he did. What he did was 10 times worse than Jimmy Kimmel. And Jimmy Kimmel lost his job. Kyler should be thinking about this, but they lost yesterday in a. In a hilarious way to Mac Jones and the 49ers with a bum knee. Sock it, Cardinals. Yeah, I don't care. I'm not one of those you live here. You're supposed to support them now. That's why they invented the NFL package, so you can watch the team you want to watch and not stuck with the local garbage. I'm out on them completely. And I didn't realize it until I watched that kick go through yesterday. And I giggled like a schoolgirl. Like, look at him. Look at him. The midgets leaving the field. A loser. Yep. And I've been a big supporter of Kyler, everybody. All these Cardinal fans have been down on him for so long and you're saying he's. Look, he's. He's potentially got it. He's got all the tools. You need that out routes, ridiculous. He's got a whip for an arm, a quick release. He's short, big deal. But he's fast, he's athletic, he's got a great throw. He's, you know, his decision making is not that great, as we've seen. And then off the field, he shows he's just never going to get past being stupid, and that's what he is. So goodbye to Kyler and the cartons. I laughed. I laughed. I laughed. That's great. And you can hate on my team all you want. I'm going to hate on yours, too. So I know it's. There's more of them here than anywhere else because Cardinal fans aren't anywhere but in this city. So I'm sorry to you, it's nothing personal, but working up to that Lamar stage, I mean. No, no, no, no.

[Brett]

Lamar and everything else.

[John]

Lamar is a threat on the field and he can, like, win Super Bowls and stuff. This is not a threat at all. It's just. Just pure, pure hate. It's just pure hate for an idiot. So I just look at him like, you're an idiot. Lamar is an idiot and he's great at football and it makes you crazy because they surrounded him with a quality operation, too. So Lamar could dumb his way right into something amazing and become legendary. That's never a threat with Kyler, but yeah, there needs to be some sort of a. I'd like to see that. A little mea culpa going. Boy, I didn't realize how bad I was. And immediately forgiven. True apology and a check to the Humane Society or a shelter or something. A big fat one, too. Not. We're not talking little. And that's out of the goodness of your own heart since you supported a murderer of animals and a violent one. Again, for those of you who don't know, used to crack the spines of Dogs over the. Over like posts. Like, he'd have a. Like a hitching post. And he'd take the legs, the front legs and the. I'm telling you, because it needs to be said. He would hold the back legs, the friend would hold the front legs, and they'd smash its spine until it broke in half. Here's another fun thing that Michael Vick used to do. Attach electricity to puddles and put the dying dogs that were in the fights that didn't do well. And he would electrocute them and slowly kill them that way. Oh, here's the other thing. He would hold his head in buckets of water. The dogs would have their heads held in buckets of water and drown that way. Oh, here's another thing. He would pick them up and smash them into the ground like a. Like a welcome mat while they were alive, listening to them scream and yelp. Because that's the kind of person Michael Vick is. So put your jersey on, Kyler Murray and walk around with pit bulls and think it's funny or cute because it's not. And anyone who doesn't know that story that says Michael Vick wasn't that guy, you're wrong. So any support of that needs to go. Get on the ball, Cardinals. It's in your court. But in the meantime, I will openly mock and laugh at you completely. 1615. Niners. Go Niners. Go Niners.

[Brady]

It was a tough one to watch. The fourth and three this last. Let's go for the 20 yard pass with the Cardinals. Yeah.

[John]

That wasn't tough at all, Brady. That was awesome to watch. That was another bad decision. That's what he makes hilarious. What are you. No. Yeah. No. What are you doing? Get him, Kyler. That's exactly what I expect. You don't say no. That means you're rooting for him, and I'll fire you for that, too. He's out. Anybody in this room supports Kyler Murray even in the slightest bit, you're out on your ass until he does something right? Because right now. And I think Cardinal fans would be thrilled if the Cards cut bait with him at this point. I don't know. I don't know what you expect anymore from somebody that stupid. But we can keep it alive if you want to keep him out there. I was a supporter of his skills. I just didn't realize how dumb he actually was till last week. Football was weird yesterday. Like nine blocked extra field goals. They just non stop field goal blocks and missing. I feel bad for Rams fans. They had that game Locked up. And then another like that two block kicks. And then the one was no reason for that dude to run it back for a touchdown. The game was over both. And he just ran it out. Yeah. It's ridiculous. They have at the end of the Rams game, the dude blocks that. They're up one. All he had to do is down at the clock expired and he's just truck and 19 mile an hour clock on him. He puts six more shed 30 pounds.

[Brady]

Let me show you how fast I can run.

[John]

Big fat guy running with the ball. Great. But yeah.

[Brady]

And then the weird young way coup.

[John]

Yeah. Falcons guy.

[Brady]

And Romo replaces them. First two missed.

[John]

It's Tony Romo was kicking.

[Brady]

That's.

[John]

Oh, I know. I'm just saying. Yeah, that's gonna say. I'll be right back, Jim. I gotta go. You might have a chance, friends. We've lost Tony Romo to the game. I'm down here now, Jim. I'm kicking field goals. Watch this. Yeah. That coup dude shouldn't have been on the team after last year. He just shanks them all over the place and. Yeah, it was good. It was weird, though. It was a weird day. And just watching. And then the fun thing last night, watching camp Scatter. Boo. Be the only part of the Giants that's worth a crap. Dude is great. It was really fun to watch. So plenty of great teams for Gene the emailer to go support that aren't the Cardinals, you know, how about the Browns Brownies? Put one on the Packers. I mean, I was loving it. Don't get me wrong. Had to be thrilling at your house because the arrogance of the Packer fan. After two weeks, I mean, they're in. I got a few Packer fan friends. They're in the Super Bowl. There was nothing stunning that's already done. Yeah. I had one of them texting with tickets that was like, jordan Love keeps this up. I don't see anybody beating him. And I'm like, okay, we handled the Lions. I mean, we've got their number. Bears are nothing. Vikings are done. So our division's wrapped. And I'm like, wow, getting ahead of yourself. And he goes, everybody stays healthy. I don't see anybody on our schedule that can beat us. I'm like, the Browns might do it.

[Brady]

Said no one ever.

[John]

I didn't even say that because I was with them. They were going to be three and oh, yeah. I would have never even had the audacity to text. You got to watch those Browns this weekend with this. And no way. Even with the We've got it all made kind of attitude. They still should have won the game. Absolutely crazy that those and the Browns were dressed like big turds. They had those terrible uniforms.

[Brady]

You'll be wearing them for the rest of the.

[John]

Those are the worst uniforms I've ever. Don't wash them either. Just mud brown from head to toe. If I saw that at all, I'd be like, oh my God, the washers ruined. There must be some dirty water in my washing machine. They're ugly. Ugly ass uniforms. It's gross. It's disgusting. And they won. I wouldn't want to touch them either. Maybe the packers. Maybe if they put the smell of to match the look of their uniform. It was like the packers are like, I don't like touching these guys. I think their uniforms are actually made of turd juice and like paper. Their helmets are definitely turds but you can't smell it because you're in Cleveland. So it's exactly what it would smell like if you just walked around Cleveland.

[Brady]

Anyway, I think it was the first defense had more rushing yards than the offense. The Vikings credible.

[John]

Yeah. The Vikings destroyed your team. You don't even need to think about that. You're. You're. You're on the clock, my friend. That team is not. That's trouble over there. And since the good news is you're gonna have a high draft pick next year, good for you. But it was remarkable that I. And again, you know, my team's not going super bowl bound, but it'll be nice to have a nice season. We almost always do. Got a little squeaker yesterday, but watching the Browns beat the packers and having had conversations with a couple Packer fans this week who were inviting themselves over. Week. What is it? Week 11? We play you guys on a Sunday night. You having us over? I'm like, yeah, literal next sentence. We may be 100 by then. Brown stopped that.

[Brady]

Oops.

[John]

The human turd machines that can't get out of their own way to do anything played a terrible game and beat you overlook one much. It was great. So was Matthias. Did she watch the whole thing?

[Brett]

No, she was buried at work. But she was keeping up with it on the phone.

[John]

And you watched you mother. What is happening?

[Brady]

What is going on?

[John]

It gets better and better. The best thing that happened now is that the Lions beat Lamar. Put them at 1 and 2. And then the Lions are tied with the packers with a tiebreaker going to the packers in the top of the division. They missed. They're undefeated after two weeks and they were in the Super Bowl, I get bragging. But week three, to talk about being undefeated with 15 games left, that's a little early. Great stuff, though. This guy says, I'm a Lions fan. I had so many Packer fans talking a massive amount of crap after the game in week one. And then they go off and lose to the worst franchise in football. Counting down the days for the revenge game. The Lions will try to hang a 50 on them or they'll get beat again. But either way, you've always said, even if you're walking off the field and the packers are like, we beat you, Lions. Lions fans would be like, you lost to the Browns.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's the whole thing.

[John]

The rest of the season. You lost to the. You lost to the mother Browns. Oh, yeah? Well, so what? Yeah, so what? Nobody loses to that. That's silly. You gotta try to lose to the Browns. Oh, I love those turd brown uniforms. Only the Browns would give that a thumbs up for their color rush. What if we made him like the healthiest turd brown ever? Like, I guess you could do that. Turd brown is not a color I want to. And then the Browns fans are dumb enough because they're in Cleveland that they'll buy those turd brown outfits and they'll walk around in the turd town dressed as turds. Ugh, Cleveland.

[Brett]

But all they can say is, we beat the Packers.

[John]

We beat the Packers. That's their. They won their super bowl yesterday and now they're going to go in some sort of a weird downward spiral.

[Brady]

And that's all the Bengals could say right now.

[John]

We beat the Browns back in 2010. I won a ton of money on in Vegas. And the next day, the day we were leaving was a Sunday and I got a wild hair up my ass and I had a ton of cash in my hands and I was standing at the sports book and I said I should put like 10 grand on the Browns to beat the Patriots this week because Peyton Hillis was running wild for a little bit. But that was the only thing the Browns had. And I'm like, ah, nobody bets on the Browns. You don't put astronomical amount of money on the Browns. It would have been like $150,000 win, and the damn Browns won the game. And you can't, as a reasonable human being, go, I'm putting a ton on the Browns. Not a thing. Not a thing. Dave Nash, who I do that, that podcast with Hella stray with big Packer fan.

[Brady]

Pretty like this demolishing.

[John]

We didn't even Talk about the game. There was no point. And I agreed with that. Going into the game, I was just like the Packer fans. Like, look, you'll be three, zero. Let's not worry about that. But not going 17 and oh, I didn't know the Browns would kick him in the. They're turd nut. A bunch of Mr. Hankies just running around out there beating the packers and what may be the ugliest color combination. And you got to discount the Bengals. They're always wrecking your television. I wish there was black and white TV when the Bengals played. I can't stand looking at that mess. But then you got the brown. No, it is not awesome. It is so trailer trash. It's so fitting for Cincinnati to have that awful helmet and uniform. It's just atrocious. It's all. It's. You're Joe Exotic. You guys look like all the blonde mullets and super tight jean shorts. It's the whole city. It's. It's representative of the city. But you can't compare, like color combos when you're like, this is tough on the eyes. Yesterday's Packers, Browns game, putting the. The peas and the green beans with the brown turds. It was just like, good Lord, it looks like my toilet after a rough weekend. There's corn. There's turd brown. I don't know what that green stuff is. When the packers and Bears or Browns got into a pile, it was pretty. It was ugly. And I had some guy yesterday tell me, it's like, man, the Patriots uniforms are pretty sweet. It was Toledo.

[Brady]

Toledo. Yeah. Yeah.

[John]

This is pretty. Yeah. Because nothing better than having a dude bent over as your. As your logo when you. The reason they went away from that logo was. Sup. You had a dude smiling, staring directly at you from the helmet. Bent over. We celebrate centers. Anyway, good day so far for football yesterday. Kyler took one. Packer fan has to humble up a little bit. Humility. Your Bears demolished the Cowboys. Demolished the Cowboys.

[Brett]

But it was like when we did our pick. So I still took the Cowboys because I didn't know which Bears team were.

[John]

Going to show up. And had you taken your Bears, Brady.

[Brett]

Would have been kicking down.

[John]

No, no. Dale would have been kicking down because. Yeah, but he didn't pick him bad.

[Brett]

My bad.

[John]

He knows his team's all done.

[Brett]

I just don't know what. What team's going to show up.

[Brady]

Obviously that one.

[Brett]

I don't know who that was yesterday.

[John]

Same with the Cowboys.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

They don't have a defense at All. Oh, that was fun to watch. Yeah. More I talk about yesterday, the more I realized what a great day it was. Cardinals took one. Cowboys took one. My team won. The Browns were dressed like turds and made me laugh.

[Brady]

Winning turds?

[John]

Yeah. But, okay, you can win. You can't support them. It's one or the other.

[Brett]

Dale's team lost.

[John]

You can't be a Browns and Bengals fan. You gotta hate them, too. Out loud. They were dressed as turds. And that should make you happy, because for the first time in 41 years, the Bengals didn't have the worst uniforms in football. Those things were brutal by a lot. In fact, the Bengals changed their old uniforms to these because if you can imagine, their old ones were worse.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

You know when you go buy stickers at Ace Hardware for your mailbox? That was what the old helmets were for the Bengals. B, E, N, G, A, L, S just written across the side of their orange helmets.

[Brady]

I remember putting the letters in Little League football one year. It's on the Bengals. You just buy the letters, put them on the helmet. That's how easy it was.

[John]

It was. Yeah. It was for mailboxes. And it was the worst. Worst uniform.

[Brady]

Wrong font, man.

[John]

And they managed to say, how do we make this gayer and trash here? And they nailed it. And then they said, let's hang on to these for 40 years. Hilarious. At 623. Football's in the book.

[Brett]

This is this the. The. The mailbox letters?

[John]

Yeah, that's it. Man, those uniforms were bad.

[Brett]

73.

[John]

They look like they cost, like, eight or nine bucks for the whole thing. Like in Little League, when they used to make you pay for your shirt and your helmet like it's $17 per player. I think the bungles had that, too. But, man, those uniforms. Oh, what an atrocity nightmare. If the Steelers went to some sort of Joe Exotic uniform, I think I quit it.

[Brady]

That is football.

[John]

That is not football. That is. That is BS West Saturday nights, Tiger night. Stop. Stop. We're going dressed as tigers. Gulp. Gulp. This tiger's got claws. Roar. Oh, God, those are awful.

[Brady]

I haven't shown the zebra one yet.

[John]

I noticed. Go farther back. I noticed. You don't go wandering around in those uniforms like, traffic cone with tiger stripes. I notice. Yeah, the color rush, where they decided to just wash out all the color because Cincinnati's that smart.

[Brett]

Is that it, or is that just.

[John]

No, no, that's what it looks like. Their color rush uniforms are white and black. Which is the smartest? That's Cincinnati in a. In A nutshell.

[Brady]

Look at that. Dude.

[Brett]

It's like Charlie Brown's helmet.

[John]

It's great. Anyway, let's get a wake up song. Football is so upon us. It feels so good to have it. 585-9800. A good one will wake us up here. Let's get a wake up song and do it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Brady]

Hello?

[Brett]

Hey, I'm working.

[Brady]

Hello? Hello?

[John]

All right. Hi, everybody.

[Brett]

Let's see if Toledo's is working.

[John]

Hang on.

[Brady]

I'm on.

[John]

Hello. Check.

[Brett]

Is this one on? Does this thing work?

[John]

Yours is working. This one here. Here.

[Brady]

That one's popping mine.

[John]

Okay, go the other way.

[Brady]

Oh, man, this is jousting.

[John]

This is bad. Wow, what a mess. Well, this show might go. This. This might be a quick jump over to a A.

[Brett]

And the wake up song brought to you by a.

[John]

Best of nothing's. Like the whole room is screwed up. Shutting down. Like our board is on hospice.

[Brett]

Someone call Nathan Southern on the list.

[John]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If Nathan comes in and just. He does one of those things, we just. Yeah, I'm gonna go having sex with that boy. It doesn't make sense. So it's this. This is now me here, right? That's gone. This is mine. That's Brady. Yours is off. You gotta go there. Yeah, it just moved right in front of you.

[Brady]

Why'd you move, man?

[John]

Well, that one doesn't. No, that one's gone, too. Brady's the only one. Brad, it's all you, my friend. Yeah.

[Brady]

Good morning, everybody.

[John]

We're like Brady's kidneys. We're just failing left and right over here. Now that one's no good. This one.

[Brady]

Hello.

[John]

Hold on a second. Weren't you just when we first started? How about that? Go. Hello? Now that's Mike.

[Brett]

Now it's working.

[John]

You're.

[Brett]

You're Mic 1.

[John]

That's Mike 1.

[Brett]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[John]

It's not even on. Look, the lights on.

[Brett]

This light's on from this rigged thing that Toledo made. But it works, so I'm not.

[John]

I'm not knocking him Happening in here. Yeah, I have no idea what to do next. Now this is you. That's you. No, that one's. There's no way that's on. That's six and that's turned off, so. Hello. I have all of them on. What what happened? This is working. That one is dead. And that is like four. That's. I don't know what that is. Try that again. Nope.

[Brady]

Nope.

[Brett]

There's not even a light on that one.

[John]

There's nothing we can do. This is the catastrophe. And I know our engineers. Is he here?

[Brett]

Who knows.

[John]

To go to addition to his house car. He's got a big house attached to the back of his truck. We can't figure out a lot of stuff in there. There's only two reasons for that. Traveling and he doesn't. Kidnapping. And we're not sure. There's no reason to have a house on the back of your car at all.

[Brady]

Late night working on the tower up on the mountain.

[John]

It is a cabin on the back of his truck and it's not being towed. It's attached to the. It's a. It's a house on us. And there's no reason to have that unless you're either stealing kids or you travel a lot and you just don't want to pay for Holiday Inns. And he never leaves.

[Brady]

I'm trying to remember. There's a pretty big window on the side. He could be selling merch out of there.

[John]

Wouldn't he do that with us, though? Wouldn't he hit us up like. You can't sell that kind of stuff and think to yourself, I'm not going to hit my co workers up first. Like, he knows we're all employed. He's got to see us every day. There's a little guilt attached to it. Yeah. He built. Maybe he's doing a. Maybe he's doing a second deck or like a patio or something on the house truck. And he doesn't have time to make like. This is a. This is a shambles. You should see this room right now.

[Brett]

This is ridiculous. Cords hanging. Mike swung over the board.

[John]

Sean Rockefeller is one of our listeners and he's blind. I think he could. He'd have a better chance hitting buttons today than me. There's no reason. None of the stuff that says what it is is actually what it is.

[Brett]

It's like, Jason, your old interns back or something.

[John]

So if I just turn everything up. Essentially what's happened here is you and I have switched. And I don't know how or why that's happening, but it is. Anyway. What are you gonna do? We. I digress. It's all good. I wanted to get into this because if you guys remember penis man throwing around the town.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

Brain penis man. I think he went away. I think they thought they caught Penis Man. I was on. Was it McDowell the other day. Saw Penis Man. Indian school saw Penis Man. A guy named Ryan just emailed me and said saw this graffiti at Cave Creek and Cactus Penis Man. And all he does is take his graffiti and write. Nothing special. It's not like, you know, awesome. It just says Penis man. And. And he did it twice to this building. And he's getting over fences now. There was one I saw where he had actually climb up onto a. Like a. I don't know how they do it. The building and then off and be able to tag it and tag something that. So it's ridiculous. But Penis man is back. And I don't know who he is, but he's. It's the same one as last time. You can't. It's his handwriting. I'm not a handwriting expert, but he's out there. So. Penis Man, I highly recommend you come down here to 1100 North 52nd street right here at our buildings. And if you go ahead and do it now, I won't tell. Like, I'll just say I just want to watch you work. Put it on the side of our. Highly encourage the actual Penis man to come down and spray paint our building. I think it would be great. It's an honor, sir. You've been around for years now. You're becoming a Phoenix institution. You hear that, all you folks from out of town who came for the memorial yesterday? Yeah, we've pretty much accepted that a lot of our buildings will have the words Penis man written on them. That's how cruddy this city is now. Off you go. Back in your planes. Head home now.

[Brett]

How would we tell anybody anyway? The mics barely work. The phones don't work.

[John]

We can't tell on you. We. We. We are trapped, Penis Man. In fact, I highly recommend there's a. What was that? A Ford? Is that a Lincoln? What do you have there, Brett?

[Brett]

The Lincoln Navigator.

[John]

There you go. There's a Lincoln Navigator, black, next to a Range Rover. Take your choice. I prefer the Range Rover.

[Brett]

I prefer that one.

[John]

Paint Penis man on the side of it. It's in our parking lot. You can't miss it. I think it's a fantastic idea. Leave the black Jeep alone. I'm on your side.

[Brady]

I wonder and decide. You know what? It's time.

[John]

I'm Penis Man.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

And I'm not very good. I'm gonna at graffiti.

[Brady]

I need to sit out a little bit.

[John]

Yeah. And it's not like he's trying to add to his Skills with some sort of art. Just Penis man. But he's back. This was a problem we had a little while. And I wonder if it's a copycat penis man or if it's the actual penis man. Because off he was covering some stuff for a while there. You couldn't go down a street in Phoenix without penis man being written. Now if he's all the way up in Cave Creek and Cactus, he's expanding his territories.

[Brady]

Maybe he's got a school where he's training other penis. Takes about two months to go through.

[John]

The process to learn how to. To hit the E just so and reach different heights. I'll be honest with you, Brady. I think I could grab a can of spray paint, knock this out. Pretty much exactly as penis man is.

[Brett]

I don't believe it. Let's go get you a can.

[John]

You know what? Let's do it.

[Brett]

Let's do it.

[John]

What is the point? It makes me think of this. What is the point of locking up the spray paint? Because I just recently had to buy some. There's no, like, ID check. There's no reason for it. I don't have to sign a piece of paper saying, I just bought black Krylon.

[Brady]

Is it because. Do they. You know, is the employees deal. You got to look them over first to see if they.

[John]

That's the thing.

[Brady]

It would be a visual huff with it or.

[John]

Right. Do I have gold paint all over my face?

[Brady]

All over.

[Brett]

Profiling, basically.

[John]

So you essentially look and go, I'm not selling this guy any. There's never a chance that when you say, I need to get into the spray paint that they're going to say no. So why do we lock it up? And the only thing I could think of is they're worried that you're going to use it right there on their store. They don't care what you do once you leave. But Home Depot's probably like, if we have a guy close by, there's a good chance he won't use it here. But even just saying it out loud, you realize once the attendant goes away, you start walking around the Home Depot some more. You find a quiet corner, you write penis man in it, and you leave. No one knows why we lock up spray paint. Do they steal it? Is that why? That's.

[Brady]

That could be.

[John]

That's profiling Mexico.

[Brady]

You don't want them. You just don't want those tans walking out the door.

[John]

But the paint can go.

[Brady]

Yeah, you can. You know, you can go get brushes.

[John]

Rollers, and you can walk out all.

[Brady]

Day long if you can roll a penis.

[John]

What? Take your challenge seriously, sir. And I will accept. All day Z. Yeah, I can roll that penis, my friend. That used to be my nickname in high school, the penis roller. It's a thing. And now I work here. Oh, geez. 93. 3. All the buttons are wrong. I know who's behind this. It's these all Tay Z people. They're screwing their stuff anyway, so penis man, I welcome. Could. I guess you could kind of with the hose. That's a lot of equipment to carry around though, like a good power sprayer.

[Brady]

Different needle on there from narrow.

[Brett]

And my buddy Auggie just text me and said Cave Creek and Cactus. The old Circle K got hit.

[John]

Got hit by penis man. That's what I'm looking at right here. The old circle K or 7 11. It's got a lot of green on it. But the. Maybe it's a different picture. It's an old convenience store. Got a fence around it and all that. But it made me wonder how come we can't have spray paint. It must be because it's the same as deodorant. They lock up deodorant now because people steal it. And I do. I do appreciate that because my story, which is about a year ago when I went into that CVS there on 16th and Camelback just to go get some delightful it Actually, I have to thank the guy that did this, the thief pig disgust. Because he took me from my normal deodorant and moved me over to a new one because he took the Old Spice Fiji, which I like, and popped the cap right there in the aisle and started to put it on and then put it back and even put that little plastic protector back on top. I watched him do the whole thing. And so I looked and there were only two left. And I'm like, I don't like this at all. So I grabbed some plastic wrap pack of three Dove and it smells better. Anyway. It works. It works great. So he inadvertently made a decision for me. And then I realized I'll never buy deodorant in a single deodorant again because I watched a guy apply it at. And he was like homeless. He was. The. The deodorant was taking on more of his stink than was giving to the guy. There was no way that that deodorant survived that without up. It didn't help him. It hurt. The deodorant.

[Brady]

Last one I got not too long ago in Gilbert, it wasn't locked up, but it wasn't like a.

[John]

Some deodorant spray. Some do, some don't. The deodorant is something because, you know.

[Brady]

Like, if you open it up a lot of times you can tell. I mean, the whole reason is you want to. You're looking for a new scent.

[John]

Do you pay that much attention?

[Brady]

Well, ever since you introduced me to the yucca app.

[John]

Oh, you have been here, check out deodorants. Deodorant on the yucca app. I didn't even think that they had.

[Brady]

You're doing is probably zero.

[John]

I guarantee you. Deodorant's terrible. I looked at the one that I. Oh, no. Oh, don't change my life. Yucca ruins everything.

[Brady]

Paste.

[John]

Yep. Oh, toothpaste. I hadn't even thought about shampoo.

[Brady]

Soap.

[John]

So there's this app that I got introduced to about two weeks ago. I showed the boys. You all right over there? Brett's. Yeah. This thing's all falling apart.

[Brett]

Yeah, he just started.

[John]

I thought he fell down.

[Brett]

We might as well go to evit and start doing stuff over there. Their gear's got to be better than.

[John]

This even puts money in the air. Quit equipment. So anyway, the yuck app. Y U K A. We should get money for this. It's going to ruin your life, I'll tell you that. Let me start off by saying your curiosity. You're going to do this, but it's going to wreck your day. You basically take this app and you put it against anything that you eat or put in your mouth or on your body, and you hit the. The. For me, it's been fantastic because you're trying to get through this whole, can.

[Brady]

I go to the store and get. What can I, you know, restaurant. Anything that you can.

[John]

Trying to stay away from high sodiums, high proteins. You've got, like, a specific thing for people with health issues. The yucca app's incredible. For people trying to be healthier, it destroys your life. So you. You take a picture of the barcode, and it gives you a score from 0 to 100. And anything over, like, 55, it gets into the good range. But then you hit the button. It'll tell you why it's bad. And it's almost always, like, these additives and, like, the stuff that's in there. And then they hit. You hit that button. It'll show you all the things that are there. It's.

[Brady]

And there's three levels of risk on the additives.

[John]

Oh, it's. The bright red ones are the ones where I'm like, I'm not even going to read this anymore. I'm never going to eat in there on the additive popcorners ever again. The only popcorners, because we have a bags of these that are worth it are barely over the top and they're the sea salt popcorners, but it wrecks everything. Waterloo Water is the only 100 out of 100 drink that I've tried so far.

[Brady]

There's, there's a couple now in the flavored water that are at zero.

[John]

So then a lot of them will wreck your teeth. Like there's some sort of acid in it that destroys the enamel of your teeth faster than sugar. Oh, it's the worst. Yucca is a. It's a murderer. But it's so helpful. The best part is, is when you like something, like let's say you just love something and you want to eat it, and then you yucca app it, it'll tell you, here's a reasonable replacement investment. It's nice, which is really good because it's like you're looking for something not this blown away by a few of them. I took a picture of Jen Gardner downstairs, had something called lesser evil Spaceballs. It's a candy. And it was 39 out of 100, which surprised me because it was that.

[Brady]

High or that low.

[John]

It was that, that, that there wasn't a zero. Yeah, it's called Spaceballs and it's got like cartoons on it. Like, this is going to be terrible. Then I went into the Kind bars, dark chocolate nuts and sea salt minis. And you think to yourself, okay, this is from the company that claims to be healthy. Kind bars are kind of have a reputation of being health. They're in health places, right? Yeah, it's a 39 out of 100 too. So the, the Spaceballs and Kind bars, exactly the same. And then the peanut butter chocolate chip granola chewies, which we have here. They're granola bars.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Or passing themselves as such. 10 out of 100. I mean, this thing is just killing you by the every bite you take.

[Brady]

And it tells you why. The ratings, too.

[John]

You go saturated fat, calories, additives, sodium. It's got six additives in it. And they're. It's just all brutal. They're all limited risk, but there's tons of them that add up to that. Oh, it's the worst thing ever. I hadn't even thought about deodorant. Like, you could pop deodorant in there easily. And on Saturday, just standing there taking.

[Brady]

Pictures of that, well, setting down all stuff because like you said, when you. When you look at an item, like, what would be good in this category?

[John]

Yeah, like chips.

[Brady]

And then it gives you the. Oh, I know you've been striking out on this. Here's something to look at. Yeah.

[John]

What did you. So is that part of your.

[Brady]

I was just curious because just going through scanning products in the house, like, I wonder about this.

[Brett]

You got your deodorant down there? Do you want to test your. Gonna go get it?

[John]

Yeah, go get it. It's in my bathroom. You're gonna love my bathroom, Brett. I. I finally moved back into my office. I was gonna quit. I was pretty much. I had quit this place about three months. Two months ago. Yeah, I had pretty much quit. And I packed up my office. I was done. And. And I had my office packed up. Had some of it packed from last year. I was gonna quit last year too, but then, you know, smoothed out. Everything worked out good. So I put everything back together on Friday. The office is all redone, but I found a very specific picture. I have my own bathroom in my office that no one's allowed to use. And occasionally, and once in the last year, one of the reasons I wanted to quit was that it was. The toilet was broken and it was all disgusting poops floating in there. It looked like a brown stadium. And I tried to get that fixed up and do that. So then I'm like, well, I need a. Did you see the picture in there?

[Brett]

Yeah, it's looking nice in there.

[John]

Did you see the bathroom?

[Brett]

No, I missed.

[John]

You missed it?

[Brett]

I just grabbed it and ran out.

[John]

Why? I can't say. Because it's a. It's a dead giveaway that you've been in my bathroom, if you ask me about it.

[Brett]

Oh, hey, you know me. I don't look at anything. I just go and take what I need. I'm out.

[John]

Why do you have a poster of Hitler in your bathroom?

[Brett]

I'd miss.

[John]

That will be when I'd be like, what are you doing in my bathroom? There's no reason for anybody to be in there. So I put a. I put a picture of Hitler in there.

[Brett]

I totally missed that. Don't ask no questions.

[Brady]

There's only one other person really has allowed access to your bathroom.

[John]

Who's that?

[Brady]

Who's ever name on the door. Is she not working?

[John]

Oh, no. Carol Maninsky. She works here, but she's never shown up. She doesn't come to work ever. So my deodorant is the. It's delicious. Dove men care long lasting citrus scent. Oh, it's nice. It is 0 out of 100. It is a diet. I'm not supposed to eat it.

[Brady]

I went down the line on all the deodorant. Most stuff that. That you see in the store because.

[Brett]

They say there's aluminum in it and stuff like that.

[John]

Loads of aluminum. Sesquich, Lore hall hydrates. Laurel.

[Brady]

I mean, there's stuff you can't pronounce.

[John]

Chunks of bigfoot. Wow.

[Brady]

Which you think yeti is all natural.

[John]

Something called BHT, which is a butylated hydroxy 2 toluene. It's used for cosmetics and antioxidants and potential. It could be. Its toxicity could affect the liver, kidneys, and lungs. You got to be careful with all this. Did someone tell you be careful with deodorant?

[Brady]

No.

[John]

You should be, because that's two in a row. Two of their ingredients are, like, if you. Major kidney effect. Yeah, this one, too, like, whatever.

[Brady]

It's the last day. Cyclopentric deodorant I'm using right now because the new one's being rid of it. Delivered today, so.

[John]

But the good thing about the Yucca app is it says, all right, hello, unicorn. Deodorant looks a little gay. I'll tell you, even the. It's got a rainbow.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's.

[John]

But they smell good. The gays smell good.

[Brett]

Well, you know, make sure you cover up smells.

[John]

I don't think this makes you gay, Brett, unless someone sees you using it.

[Brett]

Well, there you go. Perception is reality.

[John]

Sweet. Coconut is 93 out of 100. Not using that. You. The deodorant. Wow. Dove has one that's claiming to be not like all other deodorants, and it's 50. Oh, it's brutal. This app will destroy your Life.

[Brett]

So over 50 is good?

[John]

Well, over 50 starts leaning into. It's better than not.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John]

You want to get into the high ends to be, like, good. But, I mean, you. You hit some stuff that's these. These beef sticks that everybody's going nuts over. These protein beef sticks that's everywhere all of a sudden. They're amazing. They're terrible. I see it. They're terrible. Everything you just. What you're supposed to do is just drink Waterloo water and eat Brady's deodorant. That's it. Those are the two things you're allowed. And it just makes you realize all the food we eat is garbage, and it's horrifying. So as I tell you about the Yucca app, I also tell you, don't do it to yourself. It's gonna make you realize that everything you do is bad. It's terrible.

[Brady]

But they lock stuff that I have ordered.

[John]

Tom's. I've heard Tom's is good, but you're gonna stink. The Tom's rocks and stuff.

[Brett]

Yeah, those. I tried those before. They don't work.

[John]

They don't do anything.

[Brady]

No. I went after it's tougher on Anna Perspirant.

[John]

That's what we're talking about. Yeah. Deodorant is. Yeah. You got to have something that stops us. Yeah.

[Brady]

There's only like two or three that have really good ratings. At least what I saw.

[John]

No, antiperspirant is poison that makes your body stop doing what it's supposed to do. Anything that stops your body from its natural function is bad for you.

[Brady]

So the Toms had a good. An excellent.

[John]

The antiperspirant or just the same that the rocks that are supposed to keep you from sweating and all that. It's no good.

[Brady]

Remember. Remember we'd go through phases. I remember early on. Like, let's try this one out. Oh, come in with dinner plates under your arms.

[John]

Sweat ring made it worse. Like it put a muzzle on your armpits. Yeah. So. But get the elk out. But beside that and a nice diversion there to give. Yucca just made a ton of app people their customers. Now, I swear to God, you're gonna hate it as you're downloading it. Just sit and go. John told me I'd hate this. And then when you're eating something out of a vending machine, you want to feel bad about yourself and you start scoring the food you eat. Almost everything's under 30 points.

[Brady]

And if you want Yucca prime, it's a donation.

[John]

Is that true?

[Brady]

Fifteen bucks.

[John]

There's extra prime a year.

[Brady]

I call it Yucca Prime. Basically, you can list your. You not only scan, but it can. It has other apps that you can. Or other avenues to go down to set up your. IT records what you're doing, what you bought.

[Brett]

So you can buy it like it's a.

[Brady]

The. I guess it's a donation. You can start at 15 bucks. I think you can go like for the year.

[John]

It gives you all the options. You mean.

[Brady]

Yeah, but you pull up your. The app and. And see on the profile.

[John]

You're gonna make me work. Yeah, you do it later account. Well, now. Now I want to know.

[Brett]

John just downloaded and scanned the Healthy.

[John]

Become a premier member, then do what just does.

[Brett]

Just download and scan the Healthy. Quote unquote. Celsius drinks 39 scores. Oh, son of a You're ruining me now.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Check out the energy drinks. It does show you there are.

[John]

You know what else was a killer on those? I hate to do this to him, but monster waters are terrible. It's water. That's what I said. But the. What's in there is they add a little, like, thing to each one. It's like. That's the thing. Just puts it over there. I know, but it's. They're still great. It doesn't make them bad. Yeah, no, no. It just makes you double think all your stuff. Don't do a beer. Do not do beer. Don't be stupid. You already know that's not going to be. That's not coming back strong for you.

[Brett]

Let's go grab that bottle of Tito's and let's see where that's.

[John]

We'll get it. I got it. I wonder if Tito's is good.

[Brett]

It's supposed to be like, distilled 10 times.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. Go get my Tito's bottle. Let's see how this goes. Oh, my God, Brady, look at your monster's water.

[Brady]

But your liquid death.

[John]

Yeah, that's fine. That's just plain.

[Brady]

It's under. Good. The liquid death sparkling 19 water is excellent.

[John]

Yeah. The one that. The ones you got to worry about the most are the ones that say zero or ultra light or something like that on them. Those are all just fooling you. This app is. Is. This one was the electrolyte water beverage propel. And it's. It's an electric. It's like the one thing they say they add to just plain water is electrolytes.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

And it's a little bit of a watermelon natural flavoring. 40 out of 100. It was terrible. And it was all that. They had 10 different additives, and some of them were like super high risk, especially for you, Brady polyphosphates and stuff like that.

[Brady]

You're not allowed to have any of that.

[John]

All right. Brett's gonna bring vodka and ruin my life. You're gonna wreck.

[Brady]

I don't. Jameson, I don't think the alcohol will.

[John]

All right, let's see. You don't know. There it is. Tito's vodka. They don't rate alcohol.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

You know what you're doing? It said, literally, it says, yucca does not rate alcohol. But you already know what you're doing. How about that? So what are you gonna do? Anyway? They're locking up our spray paint. They're locking up our deodorant. Our engineers here to take a look at this nightmare that's going on in this room that's decided to just flippity flop everything. Let's get to a Wake up song and let Dave do his works. When I wander around.

[Brett]

Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. The boys are. They're ready for you guys. I mean, we're starting to hit the 90s next week and it's time to hit those trails. And best way to do it is to get that bike serviced and ready to go. Best wrenches in town can be found at Action Ride Shop, the OG right there on Gilbert Road in Southern, and of course, power Road and McDowell, the brand new store. And if you want to pick up a new bike, they got some great deals going on right now. Some demo bikes. You can rent bikes. If you just want to check it out, see if it's for you, check them out online. Actionrideshop.com and since I didn't expect us to go on the list that quick, we'll just go off the Facebook thing. So we got suicidal, Institutionalized, Blind Melon Velvet Revolver.

[John]

Why Blind Melon?

[Brett]

I don't know. No rain for a good Monday.

[John]

No.

[Brett]

Whatever.

[John]

It's gonna rain.

[Brett]

6:00Am Alestorm, pirate metal Drinking Crew.

[John]

Is that someone with Heidi Fleiss? What was that picture?

[Brett]

I don't know.

[Brady]

Does look like Heidi Fleiss. But it's not.

[John]

It's not. But it looks like her a little bit. I watched some of that Charlie Sheen, the first episode. How is it? That's actually really entertaining. Super engaging. I've only watched episode one.

[Brady]

It's like.

[John]

Did you watch the whole thing? Yeah, I. I don't. I don't know how you do it. How about.

[Brady]

I know it's long. It's like the Billy Joel thing. It's a little long.

[John]

Takes days. I can't do that stuff like that.

[Brett]

How about the. The Warning? Sick for the Cardinals because it kind of seems like where they're at.

[John]

Perfect. I'm fine with that. Is there one called the Warning Suck? Because that's what I'm going to look at for the Cardinals. As long as they got Kyler Murray.

[Brady]

At the helm after the documentary and he's getting the recognition.

[John]

Charlie.

[Brady]

Charlie is getting a little more. You know, because out there.

[John]

See him again.

[Brady]

He knows how to fix the void. Voided spot on abc.

[John]

How put the Charlie Sheen show. People would watch it for sure. He's not wrong. Yeah. Strike while the iron's hot.

[Brady]

He made that announcement.

[John]

I don't know when he turned into Corey Feldman, but They're the same person now. It's really strange. Like, the. Everything he does, he looks and speaks and moves like Corey Feldman. Corey's somehow or another still a bigger wiener. But something about him is. Again, it's that engage. I would never be friends with him. Charlie Sheen, because he's engaging and charming and everything else. But if you're not paying attention to what he's done in the past with engaging and charming, you don't see his future. He's got to live his life the way it is now. There's no possible way. I'm like, well, you learned your lesson this time. He's burned everybody year.

[Brady]

And that's why his. I mean, Martin Sheen wouldn't he be part of. Mom and dad have been amazing parents throughout the whole thing. And Emilio wouldn't be it because they've gone through.

[John]

If we know, three times, and they're.

[Brady]

Like, you know what? Good luck to you.

[John]

He celebrates his sobriety by getting attention for how bad he was and then usually falls off the wagon shortly thereafter. We've seen this movie. Charlie, you've gotta. You gotta be SOBER for about 25 years before anybody.

[Brady]

I love you. I just hope it stays.

[John]

Just. We're just. We're not. We're not celebrating anything about you. This.

[Brady]

You're not getting my kidney.

[John]

There's an awful lot of. No, there's an awful lot of laughing and having fun with his behavior that I'm sure the family's like, you put us through hell, and here you are. Oh, great stuff with Nick Cates. It's a really good documentary, but it makes you go, wow, I would fall for this. Like, if Charlie Sheen wanted to hang out, I'm sure he's pretty engaging and nice. Most drug addicts are. My cousin, who was a severe, heavy drug addict, was one of the most charming people you'll ever meet. They have to be. They're sociopaths. They're trying to win you over so you don't judge them. And then they'll take from you like this. You give them a little bit. So I'm sure the Estevez Sheen household is basically, like, good for you, Charlie. Don't bother us with this. We're. We're your family. We're Christmases, we're birthdays.

[Brady]

The least known family member, Ramon, his oldest brother.

[John]

He was in it.

[Brady]

I'll participate.

[Brett]

This one. There's another one. I thought it was just the two.

[John]

Two sisters, too. Oh, no kidding or what? Just one or two.

[Brady]

Four total kids.

[John]

Got me. Charlie's Got five kids of his own I didn't know about, man. Yeah, it was. It's a. It's pretty remarkable documentary. And Heidi flies is a disaster. What's with the birds?

[Brady]

They match her.

[John]

What was. No, I mean, like, seriously, like, somebody diet.

[Brady]

The reason why the. She has a bird rescue.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And some of those, like, some aren't gonna make it. Yeah.

[John]

Her rescue is, like, just like Mother Teresa's house feathers.

[Brady]

It's like cartoon characters.

[John]

I don't know that she's taking care of them. They're bald. They're balder than I am. Parrots with, like, colorful heads and no body hair.

[Brady]

Yeah. It looks like they were paired up, too.

[John]

I thought birds had blood feathers that. You pluck that one and they bleed out.

[Brady]

Well, I just know, like, if I skip the right diet and stuff, they'll start losing their feathers.

[John]

Well, that's what Heidi's doing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Somebody needs to look into that place because that was. That was Joe exotic as well. Another thing we need to talk about before Dave gets to work here on this room. If you're a Giants fan, why I'm watching Daniel Jones, and I'm not a nickname guy, but Indiana Jones is pretty awesome. I have to say that I really enjoy.

[Brady]

He's living up to it.

[John]

Indiana Jones out there in Indianapolis 3. And, oh, you look at that. Saquon Barkley was the best player in football last year and probably again will be considered that or close to it this this season. Giants had both of them and quit on them both. There's a certain moment where you've just. You have to stop being a fan, and this might be it, because they're looking at Jackson Dart going, he's the future. I'm like, ah. What? They had the future. They had Saquon Barkley, for God's sakes. And they're like, we're not paying that guy. Forget it. It And Cam scatter. Boo's fun, but I want to talk to Cam and see if I might text Cam and just go. Not for nothing, but does it suck as bad as everyone thinks it does? Because I have a feeling inside. You feel like it's great, but something's really wrong with that team in a huge way. To have that much talent and then just watch it walk out, and it's got to kill you.

[Brady]

You don't think they're going through. This is a building.

[John]

No, they were building with Saquon Barkley and Indiana Jones. What a great name.

[Brady]

Nickname. Every run is an adventure.

[John]

He had. Yeah. He had to Go to Indianapolis to become Indiana Jones. And he is now. And it's working. But it reminds me a little bit of Don Makowski, the magic man, because.

[Brady]

Hey, get your two years.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Get you.

[John]

Get your money and do it. Have your flash and then go back to being magic. Yeah, well, Fitz, magic was just a. He was a goof. Nobody could.

[Brady]

He did it on so many T's.

[John]

But it was amazing. Like 16 teams. Anyway, you pick a song. Brett, let's get to work.

[Brett]

Let's just do like we were saying. We'll just do the warning. Sick.

[John]

Done.

[Brett]

I got it.

[John]

You do?

[Brett]

Unless you got it in there.

[John]

No. I don't know if any of these buttons. All right, let's see if you've got it or if I've got it. Hey, there it is. It's the morning, everybody. It's your wake up song. It's 98 KP. We gotta fix the whole room in 10 minutes. Good luck.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Let's see. Hey, this one's working. Dave is a magician. He came up here and he got it done like right away. This is pretty impressive stuff. And we're. Wait, now yours is not working. All right, good. There it is. All right, that was my fault. Okay, I'll take the heat on that one. We're gonna keep. We're just gonna keep pushing till we get this right. Eventually it will all pan out. We'll get to that in a second. Before though, because we were in a. You know, you had people working and moving stuff around, so we didn't get to really get you. People are of. I told you. What did I say? The yucca app will ruin your life. What'd they do? They all downloaded app and now they're telling me it's my fault they've made bad choices. This guy says I'm snacking on low fat cheese sticks and some Nutella with breadstick bites.

[Brett]

All right.

[John]

It is 7:30 in the morning. What are you doing? Tell her though.

[Brady]

Come on.

[John]

Dipping it into chocolate in the middle of the. Starting your morning with some cheese and chocolate. That's pretty bougie. Says I'm thinking to myself, this is kind of a healthy snack. 12 out of 100 for the cheese, 34 out of 100 for the Nutella. This is gonna make me a paranoid mess. Well, yeah. I told you.

[Brett]

There's one over There too.

[John]

This guy says, my wife got the yucca app and I knew things weren't good for you, but holy crap, it's so much worse than I could ever imagine. Nothing scores over 60. It's true.

[Brady]

You gotta know your line, your Mason Dixon line on how low you can go.

[John]

And the good, if you're trying to be healthy, you, you just eat stuff that grows in the ground and water. That's, that's it.

[Brett]

And enjoy your boring life.

[John]

Enjoy your miserable life. Meanwhile, I'm gonna be crushing some raw beef says, well, I guess I'm gonna die because my breakfast was Funyuns. It was a four. Yeah, you should send us the worst possible meal that you've eaten. A yucca nightmare. Kirk emailed. He said, man, I was at the Charlie Kirk memorial yesterday. It's a dude sitting next to me had a full on seizure at the top. We were in the nosebleeds. Paramedics had to come snatch him away. I saw that they had a huge problem with heat exhaustion from people standing in that line. People, older people standing there for five hours, four and five hours trying to get into this thing. Then you know, in the heat you add the temperature every. I've always said that I don't understand euphoicians. It's hot here. We know that, right? Check that box. I think we can all agree. Yeah, it's probably a, probably going to be kind of hot today. So there it is. If you. And we're all like, well, if I get out there early in the morning. If you start something at 8 and you finish at 11, it got progressively hotter every second you were outside. It is miserable. It is. It started okay, then it wasn't okay, then it got hot, then it got hotter, then it got hotter and your day ends with you being miserable. If you just go out when it's 105, it'll stay 105 the whole time you're out and maybe even start going down. There are no, it doesn't increasingly get worse. I don't get that. That mentality. So people think, well, it's early, it's fine. But as it gets hotter and hotter, you kind of adapt slowly. Next thing you know, you're sitting there and a fireman's asking you your name and birthday. I don't get it. I say embrace the heat. Embrace the middle of the day. Screw the morning. It's the worst time. You should be eating your, your healthy cheese bites and dipping them into that Nutella. Who starts their day with that? That's a bigger thing. See? What do we got in the fridge here? Eggs. Yuck. No, that's not him. Ooh, sticks of cheese, a Nutella. That's gonna start my day off proper. Don't get the yucca app. Even though all of you already have. Every one of you. Said the guys at game day. Men's Health told me to get this stuff a couple months ago. I love it. And I also hate it. Yeah, I didn't even find out through game day, but my buddy Chris told me about it and has since ruined my life.

[Brett]

Screw that guy.

[John]

Yeah, it's the worst. Oh, now I'm getting contests. Rochelle is just fired over her her breakfast versus her husband's. And she won. Hers was 100 out of 100. She had organic white grain. This already sounds bad. I'm already out on this. Organic whole grain rolled mini oats. Minute oats.

[Brett]

Sounds terrible.

[John]

And then he had crunchy peanut butter granola bar. She was 100 out of 100. He was 12. That's a big win for you. It's a big win. It's disgusting. I'm also getting a lot of pictures about having Hitler poster in my bathroom, and I believe I've started an accidental trend. You can frame it, though, make it look legitimate or pin it to the wall of a room you don't want people in. Never mention it. I've made the mistake of mentioning it because I'm a good person. I'm trying to help you guys, but if anybody goes, hey, why do you have a picture of John Wayne Gacy as the clown in your bathroom? You're like, why are you in my bathroom? Get out of there. It's on them. You suddenly have turned the table. It's genius. It's flat Brilliance. That's what I tells you. Anyway. Everything seems to be working. This has been more of a test run than anything else. I think we're in good shape, boys. I think we can. I think we can start our program. Excellent work. No, come in here and start touching stuff. Purified Kirkland Drinking water is 65 out of 100. What?

[Brett]

It's water.

[John]

Arrowhead was 100 out of 100. Yeah. The bottled water for Arrowhead was perfect. Yours is Waterloo. It depends on the flavor is mostly 100ths.

[Brady]

Yeah, those.

[John]

It won't take it because your. Your phone is shiny here. Did you say it's shiny? There we go. Yeah. Raspberry nectarine sparkling water. Lewis. 100 out of 100.

[Brady]

Looks like we'll have to be drinking Kroger Gallon Jug of water.

[John]

That's the best one for water.

[Brady]

100.

[John]

Well, that's. Yeah, that was my arrowhead. There's a bunch of different arrowhead was 100. But Kirkland evidently. Somehow or another their water turns out 35 points lower than perfect. And it's just water. Don't get this app. Don't. It takes over your life. It's just not fair. Starbucks premium Instant Coffee is 90 out of 100. Nice job, Toledo.

[Brett]

Better be for the prices.

[John]

Well, that's right. Now they can start saying it's crazy. That's amazing. This guy says, I work at a hotel. We had a hundred hundreds of people last night drive to Arizona, start lining up at 2 in the morning. Not everybody was a Phoenix local. I know. And it's too hot for them. They should drive their cars home and get out of our city immediately. As fast as possible. Again, this place is nothing but illegals and rednecks. And they fight constantly. Every time you turn a corner, they're. They're battling at some car show. You can't have a nice day here. I'm sorry, tourists. Time to go. I hope you enjoyed your day. You got lucky. It didn't turn into a big mess of illegals and hillbillies fighting. And it's what we live with. You're gonna hate it here. Time to go home. Phoenix is full. It's time now for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] that's the place you go to make something in your backyard a little bit more like what's inside your house. You can add some shade to that deal on a day like this. Morning's getting the wind whipping up a little bit. If you forgot last night, sitting out in that shade. Beautiful. And it's cutting the glare off your TV on your back patio. And you had a beautiful evening watching football. Whatever it was you were watching forgot to put them in. Well, you know what? They've got a little technology on them too. It'll roll it right back in when the wind gets going, which is fantastic. And you cut the glare off your patio tv. Basically make your patio another room of your house. House. And that adds property value. The more you do to your house that's good, the more money you just made. Allprochade.com they'll come out and give you a little estimate and some ideas. And the next thing you know, you'll be living in a shade. It's beautiful. Allprochade.com Brady reported good Monday morning to You Phoenix.

[Brady]

Hello world. We've made it. Happy national ice Cream. We had a big weekend.

[John]

Okay, still not Friday.

[Brady]

It's national ice cream cone day.

[John]

Just the cone?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

No ice cream in it.

[Brady]

It's also the official start of fall.

[John]

Just people eating cones. This is fall. Oh, that's right. Fall starts today.

[Brady]

And some guy went viral online. He's claiming that fall started weeks ago. He says the seasons are all wrong. He's proposing we redate all four seasons. Here's his new breakdown. Spring should start as soon as daylight fading kicks in.

[John]

You know it's not man made these seasons. Right? We don't. We don't have the ability to just scoot them around.

[Brady]

Summer starts around June 1st.

[John]

No, it doesn't.

[Brady]

And stops around August 31st. Mostly because the never ending plague of summer is irksome and we should shorten it a bit.

[John]

It's. It's what man feels summer is.

[Brady]

Which is September hits. Fall starts.

[John]

Who's the idiot that came up with this?

[Brady]

He says Even if it's 95 degrees, winter begins on Black Friday.

[John]

And goes until.

[Brady]

Because he says fall doesn't end on December 22nd. It ends on Thanksgiving.

[John]

Way before then. Winter begins. Start talking about snow and Santa and stuff.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

He does realize that it's all about.

[Brady]

Where the planet equinox and solstice.

[John]

Yeah. The planet's positioning and it's trip around the sun. Read a book. I bet she's a flat earther this dude.

[Brady]

It could be a couple of basis fun facts. There's enough water in Lake Superior to cover the entire land mass of both north and South America. Depth of about.

[John]

I said that last week.

[Brady]

You know.

[John]

Lake Superior would cover all of the like all of us, north and South America in a foot of water. That's amazing.

[Brett]

Is that where the Evan Fitzgerald went down into. Was that Superior?

[John]

It might have been my Michigan or Superior. I think you're right. Now I gotta think of that song. Damn you.

[Brady]

I'm going with Superior.

[John]

Oh yeah. I think if it's a Jeopardy Question, I'm comfortable with Superior.

[Brett]

All right.

[John]

The wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. It's a song.

[Brady]

The correct word for a female dude is not dudette, dudeen.

[John]

Or just dude.

[Brett]

Just hang yourself a dude.

[John]

Nobody's gonna say this is an issue. Just nobody's ever gonna. Yeah, this is something you're like, don't call me dude. I'm a woman. Calm down, dudeen.

[Brady]

Pong was never supposed to be released. A developer at Atari made it during a training exercise. But Atari's founder liked it so much, decided to take it public.

[Brett]

Good move.

[John]

Very smart.

[Brady]

Durex created the first latex condom in the 1920s, the first condom with lubricant in the 1950s, and the first condom company website in 1996.

[John]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. So, John, your Hitler bathroom is a great place to take an Auschwitz.

[Brett]

Sign. Brady Bogan.

[John]

That was a good one. Don't. Brady didn't know that was a good one. I like that. Do you sit in your bathroom and just. Do you sit in your bathroom and write and see? That was what Brady would do.

[Brady]

Exactly.

[John]

See what he did? He took the good joke and he made it the progressive Dr. Rick joke.

[Brett]

I hope these mics stop working again.

[John]

Said you sit in the bathroom and write in your diary. I'm allowed in my bathroom. Anybody comes out of the ghost. Oh, yeah. Guess you were wandering around at somewhere you shouldn't have been. This guy says his grandma had a room that you weren't allowed in. And she would put pictures of people up with racial slurs in the photo. And then someone would come out and like, laugh or say something about it. And she'd be like, you're not supposed to go in that room. And it was a dead giveaway because kids can't not see that and say something. Then again, Grandma probably shouldn't have pictures so quick at the ready with racial slurs on them. For that idea, I was given a gift of one of Hitler's books. And it was a framed cover. It's about his. It's a history book with him on it. And I'm like, this is good because it's not bad. It doesn't celebrate him, but it definitely is off putting to wander into my bathroom and see Adolf.

[Brett]

Totally missed it.

[John]

Which is a surprise. You're so used to it at your house.

[Brett]

That stuff. Get in, get out.

[John]

You know, you're so used to it at your house that you don't even notice when Adolph's on a hanging on a wall.

[Brett]

Now Mussolini would have been something different.

[John]

I notice him, but I should put him in there. Who's that? They'd probably just think it was me.

[Brett]

It's a ball kind of dress.

[John]

Yeah, it's a ball. It's a bald guy.

[Brady]

You know, if you're from Connecticut, you've got 12 days left to be able to marry your first cousin. The law is going to change.

[John]

The bald can't marry a cousin.

[Brady]

No. If you live in Connecticut.

[John]

Oh, I thought you said if you're a bald guy.

[Brady]

No. If you're from Connecticut, but there's 14 other states that you can still marry your first cousin. Arizona is not one of them.

[John]

Okay, well, you shouldn't do it anyway. Your parents should be stopping that. Not the law. West Virginia, I'm guessing you can marry anything you want.

[Brady]

D.C. i saw a list of a couple of California.

[John]

I think it's legal to marry a cousin.

[Brady]

First cousin.

[John]

You looked into this?

[Brady]

Well, I was curious because it said. And you know, that article is saying. But there are 14 other states where it's still on the books as being legal.

[John]

Did you ever have a cousin you thought was hot? Yep. There's answers. Yep. That pause means.

[Brady]

Yeah. It was on my dad's side of the family. It was like a third.

[John]

Well, I'm not asking third. I'm asking, like, pretty immediate.

[Brady]

Not a direct. No.

[John]

Like an R word. Baby's coming out of this.

[Brady]

Yeah. No. Knowing that I wanted to make. You know.

[Brett]

Yeah, I know.

[John]

Dear Brady started. Your journal would be called mine. Crap. Come on, guys. Come on, guys. Let the Auschwitz joke live on its own. You don't have to top it. You can't.

[Brady]

You go ask people. Do you think cancel cancel culture generally has gone too far? Been about right? Not gone far enough. Not sure. 51% said gone too far.

[John]

Sure.

[Brady]

13% said about right. 6% said, not gone far enough. 29% aren't sure.

[John]

29% don't want to say just basically get canceled.

[Brady]

If I answer this, either way, am I gonna get.

[John]

Yeah, I don't know. I think your question's dumb. Cancel culture is subjective. It gets out of hand because we lose our minds over it. But there are certain people that definitely do stuff. You're like, whoop, that's gonna get them done. And nobody really argues with it. And then there's some where you're like. That just seemed to be a witch hunt.

[Brady]

Now they're. Now they're piling on Jimmy Kimmel. Look, as far as all the stuff in the past, like, stop it.

[John]

That's cancel culture. Digging into their history with him 25 years ago. Nobody said anything then. That made it. So you got it then. You can't bring it up now.

[Dave]

Also, this is like the fifth time we brought up all that.

[Brady]

It is. Yep.

[John]

Like, yeah, everybody wants to get on jail. This was. Yeah. And fire him all you want, abc. But you were cowards and you got strong armed by the fcc. This one's different. No problem with anybody having their boss go, we don't want you here anymore. But when the government says, hey, boss, you should get rid of that guy or else we're gonna start hitting you to changes everything.

[Brady]

The town of Jessup, Iowa has announced that it's banned. TPing can no longer toilet paper houses.

[Dave]

Or isn't it banned everywhere?

[John]

Pretty sure that's not. It's like vandalism, right?

[Brady]

Well, the problem is it's a popular town of a population about 2500, and it's the same people that are getting TP wants turned into bowling. But it's not on the books as far as being illegal. So you're allowed to do it trespassing and get maybe hit or fine on that.

[John]

So it is then because you can't do it without trespassing. Well, they can't tack on a charge for toilet paper.

[Brady]

Yeah, now they can. They can say you'll be arrested and charged with things like trespassing, criminal mischief, illegal dumping, disorderly conduct.

[Brett]

I was thinking about moving there too.

[John]

Yeah, like city. We should get in wrecked. Has anyone gone to prison for toilet paper?

[Brady]

Yeah, I've never even heard of anyone being.

[John]

I think you get a ticket for it. You can get wrapped up, but the thing you got to worry most about with toilet papering is getting shot.

[Brady]

Oh yeah.

[John]

It's changed the home. Has it?

[Brady]

I. I think so.

[John]

I'd consider taking a plug in somebody who started messing up my front yard.

[Brady]

Yeah, we never, you know, as kids when you, when you're doing it.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Usually it's to a friend's house or whatever.

[John]

No, that's never been the case. I don't know when or why that happened. Why you would toilet paper your friend's home.

[Brady]

We used to get it if you're on a team, like the football team or they had football your house or TP your house. Who though the enemy Friday before the game. No, that. Why, why would you do that celebratory thing?

[John]

The cleanups. Horrible.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

No, it's nothing about that. Should be between friends. That's an enemy based activity.

[Brett]

The worst is when you. If you're really ballsy, you jump out and get the garden hose and spray it down too.

[John]

Never coming off. Oh yeah, I've heard about it.

[Brett]

I don't know. I'm just saying.

[John]

Statue of limitations is up on this one. So we, we. I used to be part of it because I could throw.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

And I like toilet paper. And then I just didn't like what it did to people. And we would pick nights where it was supposed to rain and then be like, it's Toilet paper night. And then the guys would go. I didn't get into that too much because I didn't feel like the risk was worth it. If you get caught doing. I just always thought if I was a homeowner and I saw this going on, at the very least somebody's getting hit with a pellet gun. I'll just, I'll, I'll again, I'll leave one story. I'll plug away and say that, you know, they were banging on my windows and they were. I'll lie to the police because the kid that I left in my lawn can't talk. Oh, he threatened my life. I got so scared. Then he started to vandalize everything. I, I never thought it was worth it. Not because of the cops, because you don't know what unhinged nightmare lives inside the house you're doing. But if you're doing it to be.

[Brady]

A 50 foot tree up there, you're not.

[John]

You might set off a dude from Vietnam or, you know, he's an Afghani veteran. You don't know, don't do it. You find out the hard way and it's not worth it.

[Brady]

Got a 75 year old school bus driver in Pennsylvania named Harvey Slyker. He's facing charges after police said he threatened the children he was driving. Punished them by cranking the heat up. Parents say their children got off the bus crying and extremely sweaty. Harvey demanded the kids close all the windows. Then he turned the heater on full blast. It was 74 degrees outside, but inside there, saying it was like 95 to 100. He allegedly told the kids, I'm going to cook you all.

[John]

That's what would happen if I was a bus driver. If you had to make me a bus driver, eventually I'd snap.

[Brady]

Also threatened to bring a paddle the next day. Investigators say the students were between ages of 5 and 12. Harvey was charged with simple assault, reckless endangerment.

[Dave]

Kindergarten through sixth or. Yeah, sixth grade.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And they decided he won't be driving in the district.

[John]

No, he's, he's lost it. That's, there's, it's a one strike policy. When you try to cook the kids, you can't come back and sorry about that. Friday got a little hand.

[Brady]

But it's unclear. They say what set them off in the first place.

[John]

A busload of kids.

[Brady]

He thought the mobile sauna would accomplish the discipline.

[John]

Calm him down a little bit. Plus he, he looked around and said, American kids are all fat. Let's, let's help them out. Yeah. The bus drivers that lose it, they can't come back. There's no if you snap, it's like a concussion. It happens once, it's going to get a lot easier to start snapping and eventually their lives. By the way, if you're driving a school bus, your life didn't work the way you wanted. You're teetering on the brink, and now you've got.

[Brady]

That's why they're always looking for drivers.

[John]

Now you've got 31 angels sitting behind you, driving you nuts, and a cliff. I think there's two things I'm thinking about. Like I'm making a statement, and I'm ending my nightmare. How did I become a school bus driver?

[Dave]

What if that's his step up out of the. Whatever he's been in?

[John]

No one that's his first step is happy with their life trajectory.

[Brady]

I'm curious about how long Harvey has been driving.

[John]

If you're driving kids that aren't yours to school, it's you. You are. You're almost. You kind of want to be a murderer person. It's the. It's the. You know, the girls that will work at strip clubs but won't strip. They'll go to table to table, and they'll be dressed a little like the cocktail wedges, but they won't strip. Yeah, that's a school bus driver as it kind of relates to a serial killer. They want to live in that world, but they don't really want to pull it off. But at any moment now, they could snap. And most of those cocktail waitresses eventually go, I'm going to just take my time.

[Brett]

You throw enough Ben Franklin's.

[John]

Yeah, same with the school bus driver over. After a while of driving someone else's kids to school, there's a. Every wall looks more attractive. Every single, like, feature that will destroy the bus is getting a little bit more sunshiny and rainbows. I can't imagine how long.

[Brady]

I had a buddy in high school, his mom drove school bus. Not in our school district. And another one was the only one she did for like, like, 25, 30 years.

[John]

Only ones you can trust are bored housewives of rich men. That's it.

[Dave]

Our bus driver, Tim Gullokson, would take us to McDonald's at the beginning of the year and at the end of the year. Because we survived, our bus driver, Roosevelt.

[John]

Elementary School, helped us invent the how high can you fly on a speed bump? Oh, that was.

[Dave]

We'd go through the Wagon Wheel trailer park, and we'd do that.

[John]

Jump on the seats and she would smash the gas and hit the the speed bumps on our way to Roosevelt and throw us. You'd hear kids hitting this. Bam. Hahaha. This is great. And she didn't care. Like made it known. I do not care if you live or die.

[Dave]

Was one day she just wasn't there.

[John]

Well, I got kicked off because I asked her when her baby was due. Wasn't pregnant. How old were you? 13? 12. 12. 12. No, 11 or 12. It was a good gag. Yeah, I knew. But she didn't love us. Like she was cracking spines. I mean, when we hit, she's looking in that big mirror while we're flying around laughing. Time of her life. If she'd have had a death on her hands, I think she'd have been thrilled. She was trying to kill us. There was a girl named Becky Beery. It was tiny. And she just shot across the whole bus. Like row 13 to row one. Wow. Almost hit the driver.

[Brady]

No injury.

[John]

We all went to school, everybody got off the bus, everything was fine. And then all she wanted us to do was sit calmly as we kind of got within eyeshot of the school's parking lot. We could do whatever we wanted on that bus. It was awesome. But then I realized later this woman didn't care about life. She didn't like her own. Why is she going to protect mine?

[Dave]

So wait, Hansel was taking kids to grandmother's house to be cooked?

[John]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That basically was cooking the kids. Yeah. School bus drivers are. There's a reason why in rich neighborhoods you don't ever see buses dropping kids off. But there's a four and a half hour pickup line. Each parent will gladly pick their truck because they know those people, they're not getting on there. It's rich women of husbands who have real good jobs that they think they're giving back to the community. And even they'll snap eventually. Or grandmas or something like that. But if it's a dude that's driving your school bus, he's one shaky car ride away from taking them all the way to the Grand Canyon and seeing the bottom of it the hard way.

[Dave]

John, our bus driver, gave himself plausible deniability. Because as soon as we'd approach a speed bump, he'd slam on the brakes and we'd go flying into the seat.

[Brett]

In front of us.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Dave]

Did it on purpose.

[Brady]

Sorry.

[John]

Our. Our. The woman that, that hated us called that the tooth cracker. What?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Cuz if you, if you weren't, if you weren't good.

[Dave]

You eating the.

[John]

You're eating that seat right in front of you. And it was a metal bar. Metal bar.

[Brady]

Yeah, before the old pad.

[John]

I remember those. Somebody got a tooth cracker. I told you guys, Butcher. She was warning us to put our hands on the seat in front of us. That was how she wanted us to ride because she just occasionally wanted to smash the brakes. We had like a mile drive that was. It might have been less than that. And she tried to kill us every morning. And we loved it.

[Brady]

You weren't allowed to walk.

[John]

We had to cross Southern Avenue. So the school frowned on that because it was a pretty busy intersection with a lot of us. So, yeah, we could ride our bikes, you could walk. But, you know, fourth, fifth, sixth grade, they didn't want you hoofing it across Southern. There was no 101 then. Southern was a pretty main run. So they'd drag us across the street.

[Brady]

Two engineers are working on something called Project Rebirth. They're investigating what would happen if airbags were added to planes. But not on the seat backs in front of you.

[John]

Their.

[Brady]

Their image is like the airbag would be on the outside of the plane.

[John]

It just explodes and the plane goes into this giant in two seconds.

[Brady]

Giant, like Michelin plane.

[John]

Yeah. It's a big. My fear would be that everything looked like it would work well. Yeah. But it. You're. Then you got this rolling plane going down the road because they did the.

[Brady]

AI powered crash survival system. Basically. AI would detect the engine failure, activate it and its emergency protocol. It would inflate the external smart bags right before impact. Yeah.

[Dave]

So but how would that work with the one that turned, rolled over? Wouldn't the ground just scrape them all off?

[Brady]

It's big enough.

[John]

I think you gotta see this.

[Brady]

Higher than the tail.

[John]

Wow. Well, it's. It. It takes up at least the picture spaces and then. Yeah, but it's before impact. So if you're doing another plane, it's.

[Brady]

Not fully encased, but you know when the. You put people in those bubbles.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And they collide and they run around.

[John]

And bang into each other. I'd just be worried it would be like, folks, you look at the right side of the airplane, most of you can see that our airbags have deployed. And this flight was going just fine, but now it's not where we're going down. It's over. I would. The malfunction of the airbags just going off. We awful. So, yeah, it looked neat. In the AI recreation that I saw over the weekend, I'm like, that's pretty cool. However, it Would have to be a very specific crash for it to be anything more than just that.

[Brady]

All this would just be an effort to mitigate a once in two decades crash.

[John]

And here's the other thing. Thing. Prices would go way up. And it's the same as the seat belts on a plane. Seat belts on a plane are designed to keep you from floating around during turbulence and keep you in your seat for identification purposes. If it does go down.

[Brady]

You want the puff plane.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah. You're going to be in a bag. So it'd be a little easier for them to just kind of make sure that nothing's flying all over. It's easier clean up. Really. Because I don't see a plane nose diving into the earth with airbags and everybody just walks off. That's tons and tons of weight hitting the earth. I'm not sure if we can make airbags that good. Let's do it and cover ourselves in it and we'll live forever.

[Dave]

Exactly. John, can I give you my point of view as a school bus mechanic for 15 years?

[John]

Yeah.

[Dave]

The truth. As I see it. Most bus drivers are incapable of having normal jobs.

[John]

Right.

[Dave]

They can't work a straight eight hour shift even at a Walmart. So what do they do? They work for two hours in the morning, two hours in the afternoon because that's all they can handle. There are some older people who are smart and intelligent who just want to do something to get out of the house. Those ones are great. They show up every day and you never have to worry about them. The others take a picture.

[John]

I'm right? Yeah. Get a photo. Get to know their names, where they live. Find the bodies. This guy said we had a bus driver at Landmark Junior High. His first day he got on the bus, he's like, like, all right, everybody sit down and shut the up. My name's Chewy. Business went on. He used to swerve to try to hit cats. But he listened to 98 KUPD. Different world, man. So those were the Pratt days. Yeah. I liked it when bus drivers used. Well, that's Ottoman from the Simpsons. Everybody related to the bus driver on the Simpsons because we all had that. And then the crazy one on south park with the bird in her hair. Bus drivers. You scare me. Not city bus. You tolerate too much. You guys are salt of the earth. The most patient people alive. Can you imagine?

[Brady]

I know in our neighborhood there are a handful of buses, but most of us like a van.

[John]

Huh?

[Brady]

14 kids because they're going now. You can go to so many different Schools.

[John]

Yeah, but you spent your whole entire parenthood teaching your kids not to get into vans.

[Brady]

I know.

[John]

And then the school provides one. Yeah, mixed message. Speaking of, how was Kirby's homecoming? Did she come back that's smelling like orange spray?

[Brady]

No, I didn't. I didn't stay up for her return.

[John]

Oh, too late. Oh, so you didn't.

[Brett]

Did you go past nine?

[John]

So yeah, prom dress.

[Brady]

She got in around midnight.

[John]

So you should go with her to get the prom dress cleaned just to hear how come it smells so much like orange spray. Why you do here for orange spray on all your dress? Hey, man, it's just an orange perfume. No, it's not. It's air freshener. Airway orange spray. I recognize her date.

[Brady]

Woke up the next morning, stood in line for the Charlie Kirk thing.

[John]

No kidding. Did he stay the night?

[Brady]

No.

[John]

That's a pretty good excuse. Hey, look, things are getting up early. I gotta go drop you off.

[Brady]

I got a couple of radio videos.

[John]

All right.

[Brady]

First one's another bull fight that didn't last long, but it's a quick back breaker.

[John]

Okay. Oh, here we are in some terrible town with.

[Brady]

Yeah, I don't know if this guy. This guy's definitely an amateur matador. Because he's shirtless.

[John]

It's Mexico. Because there's some church mission. Oh, the bull just flipped him. It does look like old Tucson flipped him into a. Like a middle of the fountain. Like a stupid two foot brick fountain and just snapped his back. Wow.

[Dave]

That saltillo tile fountain that they have.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

You know, they don't have still pavement. Every one of those towns is awful. That.

[Brady]

That could have been the safety circle for the regular bullfights. You run into that next one. John, I know you're not a big fan of the marching bands at college, but this is a pretty good little.

[John]

Do they fail? Is it bad?

[Brady]

Got the girls dancing.

[John]

Oh, okay. The band is up there, says asu.

[Dave]

But this is Alabama State.

[John]

Okay, Alabama State's dancing away some of the. Oh man. They've got like a stripper up in front of the marching band and the girls are whore dancing. And now it's just gone over to a fellow.

[Brady]

The mean machine.

[John]

Whore dancing as well. All right. Really, Brady? This is what I had to watch.

[Brady]

It's a good one.

[John]

No, it isn't.

[Brady]

It's a good one.

[John]

It's the last one you saw before.

[Brady]

You came in the studio this morning. It's all it takes. You sent it to me at 6:19.

[John]

A good one. That was a dumb one. That Was terrible.

[Dave]

That's non plus.

[John]

I liked the horror version. I thought that was gonna go somewhere. And then the camera swung over to Brady's video. It's true. That's true. If it was yours, that girl would have taken her clothes off.

[Brett]

Brady's seen a rosebud or something.

[John]

Some fat guy starts dancing. Yeah, there's no rosebud.

[Brady]

Yeah, I leave that to Brett.

[John]

By the way, college Rosebud is a hell of a band name. Oh, like it? That's what I was rooting for. I'm like, oh, this is gonna get saucy. Nope. Just a fat guy being. Attempting to be sexy. And you know what? It's. It always is funny when a fat guy starts dancing. But we've got almost too many videos of it now.

[Dave]

F you guys. I was on the eight passenger school bus.

[Brady]

It was yellow still.

[Dave]

It wouldn't go over the speed bumps.

[John]

Someone else points out Brady. You know, when the kids take the van to school, it's special. That is true. No, keep shaking your head.

[Brady]

Nope.

[John]

Yeah, that's usually what the little vans were. The little buses.

[Dave]

Is that bougie ua short buses.

[Brady]

No, I'm just talking about the kids that are going to a different school. The bus won't go out of that, you know, into another.

[John]

Right.

[Brady]

Chandler school, they provide a van to pick those kids.

[John]

That's what they tell those little angels that this is your special ride. You don't get on the big bus.

[Brady]

The academy, if you're.

[Dave]

Well, that's an again. That's a charter school. That's you're paying for a charter or.

[John]

Bottom line is you get on anything smaller than a regular bus. Anything smaller than the regular bus and.

[Brady]

That'S what it is.

[John]

Mostly gold. Thinks you're retired it that's basically charter.

[Brady]

And private school van.

[John]

Or you gotta be wheeled into one. Yeah, I agree with that. You get a tiny car to come pick you up instead of a regular bus. That a means two things. You're either or your parents don't love you enough to drive you to the school they pay for you to go to. They have to hire out the short bus. My goodness. There's something's wrong with you. Your special angel bus is here. They love me because I'm special. That's right. It's only for VIPs. Ours.

[Dave]

Vipers.

[John]

Yes, we call it the Viper butts. You're VIP tarded. Yeah. You notice all those rich kids, Brady in that van making freaking blowfish face on the windows of that bus as it goes by. That's for the rich kids. Nope, nope.

[Brady]

They didn't do that. They just licked.

[John]

Brett. What do you got?

[Brett]

Nothing. Can't compete with Brady's last.

[John]

Come on, stop it. You got plenty. You don't know the boys.

[Brett]

The boys took the weekend off.

[John]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

Out of respect.

[John]

What a disappointment.

[Brett]

Well, you finished with the big. The big black guy doing the sexy dance on Brady's video.

[John]

What a disappointment.

[Brett]

Hey, Brady finished it. What do you want me to do?

[John]

We were counting on.

[Brady]

Well, do your own research.

[Brett]

It is what it is.

[John]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

If that's research, I quit.

[John]

No, I'm with you, man. Oh, man.

[Brett]

I don't think I have any leftovers.

[John]

That's okay. If you. I want you. I don't want you digging through the. Trashing through the bottom of the barrel.

[Brett]

Well, it's not going to be too difficult.

[John]

That's a good point.

[Brett]

That last one. Jesus.

[John]

Anyway, good luck out there, everybody. And if your kid's getting in that van, the school doesn't think much of them. You can shake your head at that all you want. That's a known thing.

[Dave]

I do like vipers, though.

[John]

The vipers, they're very important people. Retarded. The arvips. And there you go, everybody. That was your Brady report.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. All you people are being conspiratorial about the Yucca app. J. Todd has emailed in and he says the Yucca app is not about your health. It's a data harvest and marketing app. App? I scanned David sunflower seeds, which. The ingredients are sunflower seeds and salt, and it came up 35 out of 100. And it had substantial recommendations for the Trader Joe's brands. He thinks it's an advertising tool.

[Brady]

I did. It does recommend. Like, I did. Notice a lot of Trader Joe's stuff has good.

[John]

Isn't that what Trader Joe's is known for?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah. So wouldn't it make sense that most of the stuff at Trader Joe's is better than the David's one? I bet you they dip those sunflowers in, like an oil or something, too. That's not. Are you kidding me? Say again?

[Brett]

Preservatives or something like that, you know, I don't know.

[Brady]

But not all. I mean, I. Did you go around. It's not like, oh, Trader Joe Stuff's 100% across the board.

[John]

It's not. Well, look, by the way, anything direct. The yucca app, I'm fine with. I got that one guy that emailed me and he's had like, you know, his kidneys, he had renal failure. He's been going through this thing, as I learned a long time ago, that basically all I can do is he's having a honey crisp apple and very low, low sodium peanut butter dip today. That's his whole. That's breakfast. And we, you know, we have a yucca app invented because we have a wildly unhealthy relationship with food. And especially in this country where it becomes your identity. Like what you eat is who you are. It's part of your personality. We've made food personality. It's weird. So, yeah, this yucca app, I told you guys earlier this morning and that's all my emails are doing. Everybody's down. It's Y U K A and don't do it. I'm telling you, don't. It'll wreck everything. Also saw I've gotten a few emails from people that said Grindr reported a problem here in Phoenix yesterday. It was overloading. And so like I said that on September 11, 2025, the day after the Charlie Kirk, Mass will we'll eventually start fighting over the dumbest things again soon. We just felt like it was like, oh, geez, let's have a moment of kind of like let's. Let's reconcile all this emotionally for a day or two and then try to figure out how to be better. Well, we don't ever do that. We don't learn a thing. So I've gotten a lot of emails, a lot saying that Grindr went nuts yesterday and they've got a map that said the biggest problem was this big orange glowing spot and it's in Phoenix. And they're like, well, it's because after the memorial they all went and each other. Gay style is what they're trying to push. And that's the propaganda we're getting now. It's very funny because they're. That's their. That's their swing at the other side is to say, oh, it was a big gay sex party afterwards.

[Brady]

I don't think it was the protesting.

[John]

Maybe enough of them were also like, I'm sweaty and worn out. I really need to get by a same sex fella. But yeah, some people, for whatever reason, two or three people have sent me. I don't know if this one of them looks like it might be a joke. The other two were basically saying that that Grinder Was struggling yesterday because of overactivity in the Phoenix area, so they're blaming the memorial. I was just, like, the gays were excited about the Earth, Wind and fires. Big 21st night of September.

[Brady]

Yeah. Awesome show.

[John]

That'll get you into some gay sex if you listen to that song too often. I don't know. I got no idea. But, yeah, I don't think that that was a big gay sex.

[Brady]

Last day of summer.

[John]

Fling May. I don't know. But does that mean. Did you ever have a gay last day of summer? Like, are you that big on the fall? No, that you have to have gay.

[Brady]

Sex, But I'm willing to start.

[John]

Okay, well, it's the first day of fall if you'd like to have anal sex with a man. We'll. We'll pay for it if you're interested.

[Brady]

Stripes.

[Brett]

No, we're not homosexuals, but we are willing to learn.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah. You want to try that out? I don't necessarily believe that that's an accurate statement, but.

[Brady]

Well, my streaming services all around were struggling yesterday.

[John]

Were they? Oh, I didn't have any trouble.

[Brady]

Football.

[John]

No kidding. The only thing that happened to me yesterday that was gay was I was playing basketball, and the ball went over the fence, and it went into the front yard of Michael and Troy's. And I had my shirt off, and I went around, and I was walking around, and Huxley, their dog, came running over, started barking at me. I'm like, hey, Hucks, what's going on? And I just heard, what are you doing? And I'm like, huh? Then I realized I was a glistening, sweaty man with no shirt on standing in their front yard. They thought it was a gift from heaven. Until they got close and saw my face. Yeah, it was a joke. That's the only time I've ever been in just a pair of shorts standing in a gay guy's front yard. Will it be the last? I don't know. The clouds parted. Then I turned around and showed my face, and they were like, oh, Huxley, get in the house.

[Brady]

Lock the doors.

[John]

I lock the doors.

[Brady]

It's free.

[John]

It's time for your Guadalupe replay. On Friday, we had half of the man show because Jimmy Kimmel's not allowed to be on broadcast anything right now. So Adam Carolla was with us. It was Fallon's birthday over the weekend. He's next. And Patrick Mahomes was here thinking he was gonna. He had a terrible, boring game last night. That's a rough team to watch this year. Let's get right to it. It's your Guadalupe replay. It's 98.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. I just started Rock Wars. You guys want to play Rock wars real quick? I hit the wrong button. It's because nothing has worked all morning. I'm afraid of all of it. I will figure it out from here.

[Brady]

I'll go with up, up, and away.

[John]

That's a good one, Brady. You go back with your basic one and there's breath. The whole room is just kind of caved in around us this morning. It's been a real. It's a tragedy. This is what I meant to hit. I'm sorry. There we go. What? What? Brady? Dude, the buttons. The buttons are everywhere. And they're doing what they want. That one was on me, though.

[Brady]

But ends.

[John]

I don't like buttons. It's time now for Brady to solve all the world's problems. It's called what would Brady do? It's brought to you by our friends, our good friends at Mo Money Pawn MMP guns. Went over there with Brett just the other day and watched Brett buy a thing that was awesome. In MMP guns. You built it yourself.

[Brett]

Yeah, that was the one I built. Yeah.

[John]

And now you've got additions.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John]

Which was really cool. I don't understand what you bought, but there were two pieces and one goes on to another thing and it clips on this. And then they showed a video how it works now. And it was unreal. It turned a Ferrari into a super fast Ferrari. Oh, yeah. And they'll do that. And then actually, what was crazy about it was. Who are you talking to? What was the guy's name? Craig. Craig.

[Brett]

Yeah. He pretty much runs everything.

[John]

Dude, Craig knows every ounce of everything to the point where I was just nodding like, yeah, that's right. Right. The 5.7 egoculator on the trip puzzles got a lot of flak torque on it. Right. I had no idea what that. That dude could have been speaking Chinese. I had no clue. But you seem to understand it.

[Brett]

Not as well as he does. But that's the best part is you don't need to, like, they'll. They'll walk you through it. And if you don't know, they'll. They'll educate you.

[John]

Experts. I tells you experts. And I sat and watched it happen. And I think Brett was nodding a lot too. Yeah. Whatever it takes. I want the.

[Brady]

I can only imagine the people that just came in that just got done watching a John Wick movie.

[John]

Oh, hey, can I. Yeah. We got to get the fact height. Got to get the fact height just right on that. On that clip. Omron, you know I'm talking about. You don't know what these things are. I mean, come on. If I called yourself an expert, Craig will translate that. Craig will just. Yeah, he just. He started talking. I'm like, yep. That seemed. I'm gonna go stand over. And I went and did what I'm good at, which is just stare at pictures. These guys were talking about stuff I didn't understand. I was like, I'm gonna go check something else out. And the next thing you know, I'm buying a Steelers memorabilia, because that I understand. Otherwise, I'm a complete waste of space. But they're not. MMP guns right there. 12th street in Indian School. They'll walk you through. And if you've got questions, you're talking to the right guy. Craig and all the crew, they know what they're doing, and they can talk you right through what you need and talk you out of what you don't need, which I've actually had them do with me before.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

Which is great. Head on over there. 12th street in Indian School. MMP guns right inside mo money palm. Brady, are you prepared?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John]

Brady had the big weekend with homecoming. No nerves. No, not too much. No. Nothing about the this kid's got trouble written all over him kind of face or. No, he's. No, no hormones in the back of the Gompers bus that drove him to the dance.

[Brady]

They took Kirby's car.

[John]

Does Kirby. Oh, did she drive?

[Brady]

No.

[John]

Oh, he drove her car?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

You let that happen. Where's his car?

[Brady]

Parked out in front of the house.

[Brett]

So, with this broke dick.

[John]

What the. Why didn't he drive?

[Brady]

Then there's three of them. There's another guy that went over there. They picked him up so he could go get. Meet up with his date.

[Brett]

Oh, her car isn't that big.

[Brady]

Yeah, I know. That's their choice. It was between a Nissan crew cab truck and the.

[John]

The Mustang Lincoln. Why didn't she drive?

[Brady]

We offered her that.

[Brett]

Oh, okay.

[John]

You were gonna let the kid drive your car.

[Brady]

Those kids wanted to take her car.

[John]

They wanted to drive.

[Brett]

Well, yeah, they don't want to fumigate the weeds.

[John]

Yeah, because that one already has the weed stinking.

[Brady]

That's a good point.

[John]

Yeah. Hey, man, we'll take my ride since it already smells like an ash tree, man. Have fun. I'LL be in bed in 20 minutes. Were you in bed before they left?

[Brady]

No.

[John]

When you saw them off?

[Brady]

They're leaving. We, you know, did some pictures.

[John]

I was gonna say those weird front yard pictures.

[Brady]

30.

[John]

Oh, the worst. 5:00 and it's the worst pictures ever. Are always those Homecoming and prom front yard of everybody's house pictures. Oh, ridiculous. Mom's crying.

[Brady]

No. No tears.

[John]

She didn't. Ronnie didn't seep?

[Brady]

No. Most chicks, it is the last homecoming.

[John]

This is it. This is it. And you're pretty sure nothing. Does she talk to you about that stuff? Does she talk to Ronnie about, like. Like making out with boys and things like that?

[Brady]

No, not that.

[John]

That's what I was talking about.

[Brady]

Yeah, I thought you meant like his. Are there kids drinking or doing stuff?

[John]

No. No. Well, she's one of them. Love them, Brady. All girls and boys will tell their parents. Well, I don't do it, but all these kids. I'm around to it.

[Brady]

I did find like three bottles of Listerine in her car.

[John]

Yeah, she's drinking that. She's well past the alcohol. She's now just an alcoholic. She doesn't come to. I was never like that with my parents. They didn't know anything about the kids. She doesn't like, dude, griller on. Are you.

[Brady]

Yeah. You do ask questions.

[John]

Is it more about what's going on here? Yeah. You guys making out? Is it like, how far are we going here?

[Brady]

Did you get a smooch? Good night.

[John]

Oh. Oh.

[Brady]

On the date.

[John]

So you kept it cute?

[Brady]

No. Friends. We're friends.

[John]

Okay. That's a better answer than if she just said, did you get a smooch? Good night. She goes where? Yikes. Did your kid go to proms and stuff? Oh, yeah. They had gay proms. I'm kidding. Alex. No. Did they? Did he go?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[John]

Were you worried about a potential teenage mistake?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John]

Okay. Yes. Brady's not. You should be, though. I told you that.

[Dave]

Kind of an insult to Kirby, huh? Is that kind of an insult?

[John]

No, it's a teenage thing. They love that stuff.

[Dave]

No, that he's not worried. Is that.

[John]

No, maybe you're right. Maybe the dad doesn't think you. You've got no game is what.

[Brady]

I trust her judgment.

[John]

You shouldn't. Or 17. That's stupid.

[Brady]

She's made till senior year, so.

[John]

You know who else doesn't trust her judgment? The entire United States. Because she's not even allowed to have a say in an election.

[Brady]

Just get through graduation. Then we'll welcome.

[John]

Yeah, I told My friend who's got a 17 year old daughter and I met her boyfriend a week ago and I said, you know what the best thing of this is because they were all sweet to each other and being funny and you know, you could tell there's a lot of. There's a desire to be all over each other, but they were kind of behaving. And I said, you know what's great about this? I said to my friends Mark and Kristen, I said, because you guys are Catholic, so when she's full of triplets, you guys have to act like it's a blessing. You can't do a thing about it. Oh, we're three times blessed. Mm, mm. 16 year age gap. That's gonna be fun. Here we go. Well, good. I'm glad Kirby's not making you nervous because my stomach hurts thinking about driving me nuts. Dear Brady, my wife is a pig. She refuses to not properly dispose of her feminine hygiene products as I have asked a million times. She's also not flushing her pee anymore because she read online that it wastes water. I agree. If I see one more bloody rag in the garbage or a weird girl pee with paper dissolving in my toilet, I'm gonna snap. She's also into patchouli now as her favorite smell. But let's deal with this one thing at a time. Help a brother out. Carlos, how do you solve that problem that she's gone hippie years into your marriage? Full hippie.

[Brady]

Oh, I'm sorry, my friend. There's no stopping that.

[John]

You don't want to solve it?

[Brady]

No. You can give her half. He's been doing the right thing, saying, hey, can you at least flush the toilet?

[John]

Yeah, look at how big the earth is.

[Brady]

Well, if he sees it, then he can flush the toilet.

[John]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Brett]

You shouldn't have to see, shouldn't have.

[John]

That's what you do with children. And then you go get them. You say you flush this toilet. It you don't flush for her. By the way, quick announcement to everyone on the planet who thinks they're saving it themselves. Take a. Take a quick peek at, like, I don't know, Neil Armstrong on the moon when he's looking back at the planet. You think you not flushing the toilet in the morning is going to save this place? You're wrong. Flush the goddamn toilet in the morning's.

[Brady]

One thing I understand. Some. Sometimes people go at night, if you're.

[John]

Getting up two or three times, flush the toilet.

[Brady]

Go to the other bathroom, flush it. If you're worried about waking up your partner.

[John]

Flush the toilet. If they get mad at you for flushing the toilet, just tell them, hey, I did that for you. If you have to get up and go to the bathroom and you got to look at somebody else's pee, it's disgusting. Flush the toilet. You're not saving the planet one non flush at a time. That's pig behavior. You know what his name is?

[Brady]

Doom Goblin.

[John]

Huh?

[Brady]

You're an anti goom.

[John]

I'm not an anti goom. You're a. You're an absolute. I kind of am, too, actually. You're a ridiculous moron to think that you not flushing once saves the planet somehow. Stop. And I know your argument is, but if we all do it, it'd be a gross, smelly, disgusting place to live called India. They don't flush either. You want that or you want what we got going on?

[Brett]

Call Cordell. And Cordell immediately.

[John]

Or his name was.

[Brady]

Might not be fixed.

[John]

Fixable.

[Brett]

That's what I'm saying.

[John]

It's fixable.

[Brady]

I think it is, too, but.

[John]

And I know how his name's Carlos. That's a Mexican name, right? That's a rich heritage. And I've been told this by Mexican people that a lot of the times they just throw their toilet paper in the trash. And here's a little Start doing that and start telling her, I'm with you. I want to save this too. And every time you have a deuce, wipe and put it in the bathroom trash and let her discover that when you in between her rogue tampons and her unflushed toilets and still flushing that.

[Brady]

The other little fix. A little baby step if you haven't done that is in the bathroom or whatever you have lid closing trash cans, not the small opened, ended one.

[John]

Well, if it's open. Well, no, because that's just incur. You still got to open it and see when you need to throw something away. It's disgusting.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

So then it's like a big surprise, like a jack in the box of dirty old tampons. Wrap them up.

[Brady]

At the very least, disposal thing.

[John]

How about you put it in toilet paper and wrap those up so they just look like toilet paper and it's not some murder scene in the. In the disgusting.

[Brett]

Send her to a life coach.

[John]

If there's that too, send her to a therapist. Let me give you Katrina's number.

[Brady]

Let's just set up like a little roller like they have at the grocery store in the produce area. You have the bags. Tear it, put it in there.

[John]

Then Bag it up.

[Brady]

Bag it.

[John]

I say take great dumps, leave those for her, and then wipe your ass and put it in the trash.

[Brady]

What I'm saving.

[Brett]

She might try to outdo you and just keep going, and then you're stuck.

[John]

Strong point made by Brett that if she starts dropping deuces and you're dropping deuces on top of each other.

[Brady]

Poop battle.

[John]

Yeah, Brett's right.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

This is over.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

Stuck. Done.

[Brett]

Goodbye.

[John]

She's not who you met, and originally she's some weird hippie. Now who?

[Brady]

Well, the patchouli.

[Brett]

Right there.

[John]

I don't know how you can live with that. Oh, I get mad at the bathroom stuff. Flush the damn toilet. Flush it. If it's mellow. If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, send it down. No, if it came out of me and it's in the water, flush it. I don't have a cute rhyme for that. Holmberg's morning sickness. Dear Brady, I gave my son my very first car, a 1984 CJ7. Oh, I was just looking at those. He graduated high school back in May, and I gave it to him. I was in the garage the other day just admiring my very first car and noticed that my son has put stickers for a vape shop on the back of it. John, you love Jeeps. You know that It's a relationship between a man in his Jeep. I passed it down. I looked inside the Jeep, and it's littered with trash, Arby's boxes and bags. I want my Jeep back. I realized over the weekend it's mine, not his. How do I go about this without becoming the devil? The Jeep needs to come back before he officially ruins everything it represents to me. Charles. Oof.

[Brady]

You gave him the car to begin with, right?

[John]

Yep. Yep.

[Brady]

Only thing you can do is be a parent and coach him on how to take care of the car. I don't see that. I mean, you gave him the car.

[John]

Because you can take it back. You're the dad.

[Brady]

There's the first of all, you take that action to begin with. If you're not gonna clean this car or keep it up, keep up with it. Then I'm taking the car back.

[John]

But he's seeing the writing on the wall that the kid has no emotional tie to this car, and he does. He made the mistake of giving something he's emotionally tied to to his son. Yeah, he's got to get it back. You can't do that. You can't give an heirloom to somebody and watch them wreck it. Well, you can't. If you do, if you want to, you have to just let go. If you can't let go, get it back. Give the kid.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying. Either you let go of that, you.

[John]

Got to go buy him a car.

[Brett]

I give the kid a couple thousand bucks. Here you go. I'm taking the car back. You buy your own.

[John]

She belongs to me again. Here's $2,500.

[Brady]

Might not have that choice, but if you. If you can. But.

[John]

And then spend. Oh, you've got that choice. And then spend the next hour or two with a hairdryer and some soap, warm, soapy water. And get that goddamn vape sticker off that 84 CJ7.

[Brady]

I think you got bigger fish to fry if there's a vape sticker on there now.

[John]

People love that stuff. It's totally legal. It's not like it.

[Brady]

I know, but if. Yeah, well, I gotta believe a guy's particular about how you take care of your car.

[John]

He's a pig. You've got a pig, boy. Just get your car back. Let him wreck something of his own.

[Brett]

Just the kid of that. That broad that's not flushing the toilets.

[John]

Not too.

[Brett]

Both pigs.

[John]

Like, I have a real solution for Carlos with this girl not flushing the peas. She thinks that she's saving water. So what you tell her is you think it's gross. So in order to not have to see it, you're gonna have to start flushing the toilet every time you go to the bathroom before you even lift the lid up. So it's actually double flushing in the house. So even if she hasn't gone, he's flushing it no matter what. That's kind of a good idea. You. Let's go. Look, you make me double flush, which I normally would. I would flush constantly just to make up for the time. She's not.

[Brady]

I think it's worthwhile for the guy to go over and say how much this car means to him.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And then, you know, get on him about cleaning the jeep. And maybe you can, you know, maybe he's never done it before. Look, it's not hard, but just take it back. You walk through the clean. How you like this. How. This is what I did when I owned the car.

[Brett]

I don't think the kid cares.

[Brady]

Because an example.

[Brett]

He didn't put any money into it. He didn't. He's got no. You know.

[John]

Right.

[Brett]

It was free.

[Brady]

It doesn't mean that he did necessarily, because what if his parents gave Him a car. The one thing they taught me was to keep the car clean. Sometimes you got to teach.

[Brett]

You're hoping for the best.

[John]

But if your dad gave you a 71 GTO. Yeah. And he's like, this is my first car. And then he sees you and it's just full of McDonald's crap. And you've got a, you know, MMP gun stickers on it. And all the.

[Brett]

All your endorsements are on five across the mouth.

[John]

And you take the keys right back.

[Brett]

Yeah. There's no way.

[Brady]

And that's what you do until you respect that.

[John]

Ride that n. Just take it back. You're too emotionally tied to it. Just take it back. Get him to something else. Let him wreck that. And teach him how to be good to that one before you give him the one you loved. Dear Brady, my mother in law has what I feel like is an intrusive relationship with my husband. Five or six mornings a week, she texts him first thing before either of us even awake. I feel like I don't even have the close of. Of a relationship with my own husband. And I can't get there because she seems to prioritize her own need to talk to him ahead of mine. She doesn't call me ever. I know I'm being a bit petty and a lot of people would love to have that closeness with a parent, but we're both pushing 40. We've been married for six years now and together for almost 10. It's about 3,600 calls into this. It's a lifetime commitment. I love my husband. We're great. Can I get this broad to back off a little bit? Mother in law. Or do I have to suck it up? Up. Even if it brings me anxiety. Ran.

[Brady]

So it's his daughter that's. It's his ex wife?

[John]

No, it's his mother.

[Brady]

Oh, his mother. Okay.

[John]

Yeah, I thought mother in law.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's a little mama's boy. Like.

[John]

Yeah. And I. Why would you want your mother to call your daughter in law on the reg? She said she doesn't. Every day, first thing. Leave me alone. Yeah, he's got. She's got to tell her husband to grow a set of balls together a long time.

[Brady]

Mom's what, in her 70s?

[John]

Or if they're pushing 40, mom's probably late 60s.

[Brett]

Expired.

[Brady]

Yeah, you gotta. Gotta taper that down a little bit.

[John]

Has nothing to do with whether we want to have sex with her, Brett. Yes, she's expired, but who cares if.

[Brett]

That'S the first thing in the morning? She's texting.

[John]

Come on.

[Brett]

Something going on there.

[Brady]

Man.

[John]

You just tell. Yeah, yeah. Make him make a choice. Tell your mom to back off the. But it's going to cause a problem. It's going to get worse when you tell them that your mom talks to you too much and then he says mom, you need to stop talking.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John]

It's like Rayanne says quit it.

[Brady]

And how long they've been together and it's been this way 10 years, 7? You know what you got.

[John]

Maybe that's part of the problem.

[Brett]

She let it go too far.

[John]

True.

[Brett]

Too long.

[John]

You can't be broads. You can't be jealous of your own mother in law. Yeah, and by the way, he loves her more than you. That's his mom. She's staying. You might not suck it up broad.

[Brady]

They always have that. It's just unfortunately it's wired that way a lot of times that the. The bride feels. The wife never feels she's. To the standards of the. The mother.

[John]

She's not.

[Brady]

And they gotta accept that.

[John]

Yeah. She's my mom, for God's sakes. I see her totally differently than you. You are a sex doll and a partner in life. That's my mother we're talking about.

[Brady]

And if my mom's not making my dinner, you are.

[John]

You know who I'm not divorcing. Ever. Mom. She'll always be there in a pinch. You teeter totter. Never know. No, I'll never. No one's replaced. You shouldn't want to replace my mom. She's my mom. You're a wife. They're totally different roles. You're looking at her as some sort of threat. She was better at laundry. She's better at cooking. She's just better.

[Brady]

Christ.

[John]

I guess it's. I guess it's window cleaning day. No announcement of that by aliens. Some dude just shot a big old brush onto our windows. All right, last one. We got to hurry. It says what do you want? A lesbian mom or a guy who lasts to. This one I like. It says, dear Brady, my wife and I have sex now and she complains that I last too long. We've been married for seven years and suddenly this is a problem? Now admittedly, I do tend to go 30, 45 minutes. She said she'd rather have it last somewhere between 7 and 10 max. How am I supposed to be a quick pop? Brady, I look at you. You look like a guy that explodes fast. What's the secret? It.

[Brady]

Seriously, I want to know what your secret is.

[John]

Seriously though, what is it with broads? If you last too long, you're a jerk. If you don't, you're a putz. Help me out, Brady Harris.

[Brady]

All I can help you out is you. You're not going to win on any of those situations.

[John]

What does that mean?

[Brady]

She'll either complain one way or complain the other way.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You're too long. You're not long enough.

[John]

Yeah, 45 minutes. A long time.

[Brady]

It is. Maybe just appreciate you can do that. Right now.

[John]

Yeah. What do you mean right now? Oh, because it changes. Get older, you think?

[Brady]

Yeah, unless you. Unless you get the proper medications or the what? As far as longevity, are you equipped?

[John]

I think it goes the other way. The older I'm not as long. No kidding.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Maybe it's her. Could be he's just not as attracted.

[John]

To her and he's just blame. Yeah.

[Brett]

You put on a few lbs, you know.

[John]

You know, I mean it's hard for me to look at you and get excited. You look. You never flush the toilet, you said.

[Brady]

Even sometimes and it's true. Like they suggest something, you're just like.

[John]

Oh, oh, whisper in my ear that the ass is in play. You'll pretty much get rid of it. Yeah, it's kind of on her to say look, while we're doing it, it's a risk because the dude might take you up on it but start talking about stuff that, that normally you wouldn't want to do and he'll probably lose it before you give him the opportunity. But you can't. You can only run that gambit every once in a while. Yeah, I found as the older you get, the longer you last. I feel like good for you. I don't know how that happened for you. You got more sensitive.

[Brady]

I did.

[John]

No kidding. Yeah, like two pump chump bad. No, if you admit it, we're fine.

[Brady]

Yeah, no, I just. Yeah, it's definitely not as long as when I was younger.

[John]

Dude, younger was definitely faster for sure. Anyway. That's interesting.

[Brett]

A lot of people are saying the guy with the toilet needs to get toilets like we have here. The auto flush.

[John]

The auto flush. The most brilliant invention of all time, the auto flush. You think you're saving the planet, idiot. Self serving.

[Brett]

And the guy with the jeep. Cameron just high fived both of us too.

[John]

Yeah, no kids. Perfect. And poor Ronnie. I guess we learned all that today.

[Brady]

Kirby does pretty good on, on our car.

[John]

Thank God.

[Brady]

And lasting long.

[John]

Oh Jesus. For God's.

[Brady]

Guys, get your mind out of this gutter.

[John]

Come on man, get Our mind out of the gutters. We were talking filth over here, and you brought your daughter to the party.

[Brady]

Both saved you.

[John]

Good Christ, man. Pick a. Pick a lane and stay out of ours. Anyway, sorry you don't last very long, Brady. That's embarrassing. Well, that's not gonna matter. What are you working. How are you working on it?

[Brady]

The more frequent you do it, it helps you.

[John]

Oh, so it's because of an infrequency.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's too excited.

[John]

I see what you're.

[Brett]

Now you're calling out Ron.

[John]

So now it's Ronnie's fault that you guys don't do it.

[Brady]

Boys. Yeah.

[John]

And you know what the vicious. Yeah, you know what the vicious circle in that is? The cycle is that you don't do it a lot. So you're popping too fast, which means she's not enjoying herself, which makes her not want to do it a lot.

[Brady]

It's my fault.

[John]

It's everybody's fault.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

This guy's taking Brady's side, and if you're stroking for 45 minutes, you got a micro pee pee, dude.

[John]

Yeah, I don't think that's necessarily accurate, but I like that the guy's fighting him. Those two pump chumps. No, we're bigger than normal. That's why it's too sensitive anyway. Yeah, well, all right, well, Brady, you have to. You need to spend more time down south.

[Brady]

You know, again, back to that guy. If he's just drilling away and it's like a plank. Yeah, no, the feedback on both sides really helps enhance the experience or the.

[John]

Well, sure.

[Brady]

Yeah. So it sounds like there's not much motivation not to blame on her, but a little bit if she's not.

[John]

Well, she might finish fast and just don't. Doesn't want the last 36 minutes, you know, she might enjoy the hell out of it. And then it's, you know, she's got to get flopped around and thrown all over the room for 30 minutes. It's like, when is he gonna finish this? I. I'm all done.

[Brady]

Or she's a yes, well, so.

[John]

Or she's disgusting. And his eyes see the disgust.

[Brett]

And he's just trying.

[John]

He's doing everything he can to imagine not being with you while he's with. With you. That's probably it. But if you're really quick, you know, this one says it's about getting it done and finishing the act for everybody. It's not about stamina or length of time. It's true. So long as everybody's satisfied, you'd like.

[Brady]

To have a win win situation.

[John]

Sure. Get down there, do your work with your face a little more, and then it doesn't matter what you do after that. Make sure that that's. Or take it to somebody who wants it. But Brady's right. Too long, too short. You're gonna get complaints either way. It's 9:39. There you go, Brady. Well done. Sorry to hear about your erectile problems. It's 98 KUPD. That's what Brady did. That was what Brady did.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John]

No membership fee.

[Brady]

I have heard it.

[John]

Enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. All right, fine, Rich. Now we'll go. It's time now for the entertainment drill. And it's brought to by our [e-mail], the home of tactical black self defense training. I just text my friends at React defense, and I have a plumbing issue at the rental house. It's gross. The bathtub is filling with water sometime during the day or night, and I don't know. And it's. And then. So I'm like, oh. And then it'll drain, but it leaves, like, dirt. And so I just push that back down there, rinse it out, it drains again. And then later, like, if it's. I don't know, like. Like two days later, I'll go back and I'm looking in there, and I'm like, what the hell happened here? None of the other drains are doing it. So I just looked online, and it basically said it's dirty water. And I don't know what that means, but evidently there's a sewage issue. So I've been slopping around, and somebody's poo. It's coming up. Well, geez. Sorry. What, Brett?

[Brett]

Maybe it's that hippie dude's wife squatting at your house or something.

[John]

Which one? The cleaner? Yeah, that guy didn't have a wife. So I gotta take the day off. And I'm very disappointed. I wanted to go wrestle, but, yeah, it's. I don't know if they have a defense for that, but I don't even know what dirty water is. I plunged the thing seemed to fix it all the water went away. I'm like, that's it Poured Drano in there? Nope. So I got big trouble. My landscaper text man told me, you got something going on back I go, no, Al. So that's my day. Instead of doing what I want to do, which is go to react defense and do what I do. Get in good shape, help out. Watch. Watch me become a better me right in front of my eyes. You can do that anytime you go down there. Got an email from a girl who said that she's doing it. She's the one who told us she drives like four hours a day to go do this. Every time she goes, it's forever drive. That's exaggeration. But still she's like, it's the best place in town and you can't beat it. She's become confident, she's become stronger. And that's all you can get from your workouts. Workouts are designed to make you more confident about yourself. Now give yourself some skills to go along with that. Forget about it. You just become better at being yourself. Reactdefense.com no defense for plumbing, but they'll help you in your self defense of your everyday life. It's the home of Tactical Black, which I think is the nickname of the stuff coming out of that drain. Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

According to a report, Disney's market value has dropped $3.87 billion since suspending Jimmy Kimmel. But that's one report. There's another girl that starred in that she Hulk, Tatiana Maslani. She's calling for a to boycott.

[John]

The hell is she Hulk? That's a movie.

[Brady]

That was that spin off that came out of the Hulk series.

[Brett]

Well, everybody's listening to her. Nobody even knows what the hell it is.

[Brady]

I know. I think that's why she wanted to get back.

[John]

I know what she Hulk is as a. As a theory. They made a movie.

[Brady]

Attorney at Law John, why do I not remember this? I saw one episode, of course.

[John]

Oh, it's a show. Oh yeah.

[Brady]

It was a series on. It was bad.

[John]

Here comes Larry to review Series Awful. It was a Disney TV series. I could have told you that by the title. Well, yeah, I mean, but you had to watch it just to laugh at it. And it was bad. It was really bad.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

That'S Tatiana Maslani, the she Hulk. Attorney at law.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John]

Oh, I see. I see by your haircut. I see what's going on here.

[Brett]

I'm not watching it.

[Brady]

Priscilla Presley has a memoir coming out. Softly as I leave you. Life after elvis.

[John]

It's been 50 years, lady.

[Brady]

Yep. So she's going around interviewing, telling about the book someone asked her about. Did your daughter Lisa Marie have a physical relationship with Michael Jackson?

[John]

Yeah, that's in the book. She said she did in great detail.

[Brady]

Yeah, but she didn't approve of the marriage because he was black. She felt that, Michael.

[John]

Exactly why she's a racist.

[Brady]

She said she felt like Michael wasn't marrying. At least he was marrying the Presley.

[John]

No, she married because you were. What? What? Because I'm black? What? Black. Like the night you heard me. And then she married that Mississippi hillbilly and they hate black. So I tried to marry their daughter and they threw a big fit that they used to scream at me all the time. Out of my house, Tyrone. And I'm like, my name's Michael.

[Brady]

The other chapter she talked about is when Elvis called her and she was in bed with Robert Kardashian.

[John]

Nice.

[Brady]

It was long after they, you know.

[John]

Well, yeah, she wasn't with them very.

[Brady]

Long, but she divorced him randomly.

[Dave]

Kardashian slade.

[John]

Yeah. It's 51 years literally since they were together and 50 since he's been dead. And you're still writing books about. You know, it's been tough. It's been a tough five decades.

[Brady]

Here's some stories you haven't heard of.

[John]

Yeah, get over it. You've moved on. Right. Life after Leslie Nielsen would be more apropos. And you only did a movie with him. It's not like she apparently loved him. Who? Leslie? What do you mean?

[Dave]

Like, just thought he was awesome.

[John]

Oh, sure. Who? How could you not? He was awesome. But I mean, writing books 50 years after life after Elvis. You got a 50 year book there. You only did 13 with Elvis. The book of life after is longer.

[Brady]

Matthew Bukhani has a marriage tip. Ditch the king sized bed. Opt for the queen instead. So you're closer to your spouse.

[Dave]

No, nope.

[John]

No, no, no. Thank you. No, absolutely not. Read it again just to clear it up for everybody who didn't quite catch it. But he just make sure we just cement that.

[Brady]

Matthew McConaughey's Marriage Tip is to ditch that king size bed.

[John]

No.

[Brady]

Opt for a queen instead.

[John]

Nope, nope, nope. All right, all right, all right.

[Brady]

Oh, I'll know.

[John]

Oh, no, no, no, no. I tell you what, I'll be in the other room doing what I do in a bed of my own. There is no reason. I've had this theory for years. You spend your entire childhood trying to get your own bedroom. Then you spend your adolescence trying to escape from a house full of people with parents and other kids and all that other stuff.

[Brady]

Stuff.

[John]

You get your own place with roommates. Then your goal is to get rid of the roommates. All the time you're trying to be independent and isolate, have your own space and what do you do when you get married? You cram into one bed. It's the opposite of what you've been doing your whole life. Sleeping.

[Brady]

Hollywood had it right originally.

[John]

Two beds.

[Brady]

I just saw one of those movies the other day.

[John]

It's what Seinfeld said. How did sex and sleep get all mixed up together just because it happens in the same room? Freeways and garages are completely different, yet there are cars on both.

[Brett]

And that's not just us. I'll bet most women are gonna say the same damn thing.

[John]

They don't want us in there. It's awful. Yeah. Sleeping in a bed with someone. You know how I know it's bad? I don't go to a vacation with Brady and go, hey, well, we'll just cram into the same bed. It makes me feel comfortable about our friendship. We hate it. It's a dream come true to have your own bed. Yeah, it's just like being nine and your sister gets her own room and you get your own room. You're just clogged up. Oh, you love every second of it. Last thing you want to do is share a room.

[Dave]

Pretty sure Lisa would agree with no bigger bed.

[John]

A bigger bed. Bigger bed. Do you think? Remember your grand. I don't know if you had them, but remember your grandparents?

[Brady]

Allegedly.

[John]

Yeah, you had.

[Brett]

That's the room.

[John]

Remember their house? And the bedroom was like eight by nine, so. And then as time went on, twin beds. They had a full bed.

[Brady]

They had a full bed.

[John]

This is regarding parents at their house, too.

[Brady]

On Mom. My mom's side.

[John]

Good.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John]

And then what did we do when we started building houses faster? Let's make these bedrooms bigger and put bigger beds in it so we can be further apart. And then it was just like. You've seen new houses. Master bedrooms. They're massive.

[Brady]

Couch seat over in the one corner.

[John]

Yeah, you got. You got a sitting area. You got someplace else to be.

[Brett]

Oh, Lucy and Ricky had it right. Separate, bad dad.

[John]

Right on the money. I don't understand. Matthew Coney can suck it. All right, all right, all right. I know what I'm doing over here. Sex with a lady and sleeping right on top of each other. Terrible.

[Brady]

You see, Gary Busey was sentenced to two years probation for groping a woman at the one of those monster cons conventions.

[John]

We have to be more. Definitely.

[Brady]

It happened in 2022.

[John]

The monster definition has to be clearer because I think you might have confused that.

[Brady]

It was at a horror film convention.

[John]

Well, I just thought I was a monster. Brady tried to Kill her. Just a bitter, delicious, honey crisp apple. So I did it.

[Brady]

And finally you can get paid. $666 to watch and rank and review five scary movies. Applications are right now open right now, October until October 7th. Cabletv.com they give you a list of 13 movies. You pick five of them, you'll get a $50 Uber Eats gift card, one year subscription to Screambox.

[John]

Hey, there you go. Get a bunch of terrible. $666 to watch no horror movies. Or like, there's like one out of.

[Brady]

Everyone list is, you know, like a Nightmare on Elm Street, Candyman, the Evil Dead, the Exorcist, the original one.

[John]

Yeah, those are good ones. You get 620, 17.

[Brady]

It's.

[John]

Yeah, so long as you're not watching any of the new horror movies. Those horror movies are horrible.

[Dave]

The Jordan Peele ones have been pretty.

[John]

I don't know. Him's not looking too good. No, it's getting terrible reviews.

[Brady]

I thought it had good get out. Was. Wasn't that good.

[John]

It was great. But since then. All right, most horror movies are. When that was a thriller, that was more of a suspense movie than it was a horror movie.

[Brady]

The Shining Zone.

[John]

Like, I look at Freddy Krueger as a horror movie. Yeah, that's a monster chasing you around.

[Dave]

Ones that you see as campy now, but at the time they were pretty.

[John]

Nightmare on Elm Street's still not number one.

[Dave]

Horror for me was the worst.

[John]

Nightmare on Elm Street. Number one is absolutely insane and how deep and thoughtful it actually is. Freddy got.

[Brady]

What about the thing? 1982.

[John]

That's how much good one dumb. The Kurt Russell one.

[Dave]

Yeah, I like that one a lot.

[Brady]

Wilford Brimley, Wasn't he in that?

[John]

Yeah, he looked like he was 7.

[Brett]

He was 31.

[John]

He still looked the same age he was. It's. Yeah, it was dopey. Wasn't great. Wasn't really. I know, but I mean, that's what I'm saying. I didn't think it was mutated, Grizz. See, and that's the thing. It was. It got silly and I just got a sneaky.

[Dave]

Yeah, Bear in Antarctica.

[John]

But like, that's why I like Nightmare on Elm street so much, is because it was actually horrifying after you left. Very possible the thing inside your mind can kill you because if you die in your sleep, you die in your. Or you die in your dreams, you die.

[Brett]

Sounds like Exorcist put a murderer hell out of me.

[John]

Oh, Exorcist still gives me chills. It's slow now, but that's a good one.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

Thing. Yeah, I guess if you're gay, I suppose it's good. Mental. Here.

[Brady]

There's one on the left list out of the 13. I didn't. Martyrs came out in 2008.

[John]

I don't know.

[Dave]

Your movie's not that great.

[John]

Yeah, that's not that great. Nobody knows. That's it. We're done. Larry's coming up next. He's got you guys covered. If you're nice to Larry, he might give you all sorts of stuff. And it'll be free because Larry loves you. That's it for us. As long as the studio stays together. We'll see you tomorrow right here in the morning sickness. So long.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.