10-01-25 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – October 1, 2025 – FULL SHOW

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Main Theme / Purpose

This episode of Arizona’s top-rated morning show is a blend of irreverent humor, topical absurdity, and sharp takes on trending stories—with a trademark willingness to question, disturb, and entertain. John Holmberg and crew (Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo) riff on historical events for October 1st, dig into workplace scandal emails, ponder the logic of nuking asteroids Armageddon-style, debate hypocrisy, tell stories about office politics, and riff on topical news. The episode’s comedic DNA: fearless, often biting, fast-moving, and unfiltered. This is Arizona talk radio at its edgiest and most conversational.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. “On This Day in History” Blitz (05:45 – 04:25)

• Holmberg reads off a shockingly packed “this day in history” sheet for October 1st—rattling off major touchstones:

  • Yosemite founded
  • Ford unveils the Model T
  • Babe Ruth’s (maybe) called shot (1932)
  • Roger Maris breaks Ruth’s homer record
  • Beach Boys release Surf and Safari, Beatles drop Abbey Road
  • Walt Disney World opens
  • “Thrilla in Manila” (Ali-Frazier III)
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre release
  • Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show debut
  • Soberingly, also the Las Vegas Mandalay Bay mass shooting anniversary

• “This might be the most successful day in the history of history” —John (01:09)

• Quick digressions: Disney World’s size (“same as San Francisco!”), how prices have changed.

Memorable Moment:
Holmberg’s rapid-fire delivery, awe at October 1st’s historic hit list; the crew riffing with each reveal.

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2. Neighborhood Halloween Decor & City Crackdown (04:21 – 05:25)

• Discussion of local Halloween decorations gone wrong: a neighbor’s blighted, storm-ravaged yard with a lifeless skeleton and obstructed walkway finally gets the city’s notice.
• The city left a note requiring a clear path; junk vanishes overnight, but the “dead” skeleton and mess linger.

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3. Workplace Scandal Email: The “N Word Guy” Saga (05:25 – 18:21)

A viral segment in the show:

• Background: Listener emailed Monday for advice: accidentally used the N-word in a heated, “funny” (his quotes) fantasy football-company group text, forgetting a Black coworker was on the thread. He wanted to know: Should I apologize?
• The crew previously advised: apologize personally, but don’t expect total exoneration; your actions still have consequences.

Follow-up Email (06:52):

• He apologizes, gets a handshake, but within hours is fired—because:
  • Bosses are told;
  • It’s on company tech;
  • He has a prior anger incident: pushed a coworker into a woman by the coffee machine (she got burned);
  • He self-admits to “anger issues.”

Panel’s Take:

• “This is more about my past than the N word, but I’m toast.” —Listener (read by Holmberg, 06:54)
• Holmberg’s Tough Love:
  • “Don’t have a company phone if you want to save $50 a month and send racist memes and abortion jokes. You’re setting yourself up.” (07:37)
  • “Read the room…how about: we don’t text the Black guy the N word. Start there.” (08:14/08:19)
• “You must be pretty good at what you do—because you pushed a guy into a coffee machine and survived a few more years in the office!” (09:38)
• Referencing South Park’s “N word Guy” episode (“it was a scourge you could not shake”—12:26)

Memorable Quips:

• “He shook your hand. He was a bigger man. But he already got you.” (08:45)
• “Don’t be the office dickhead.” (09:35+)
• “N word gate.” —on how the incident will forever brand the guy (12:28)

Bonus Insight:

• The crew uses the incident as a springboard for broader riffs on corporate surveillance, company phones, and the inability to shake a tainted office reputation.

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4. Nuking Asteroids: The Armageddon Conundrum (18:49 – 32:46)

Prompted by news:

NASA and scientists are mulling the idea of nuking an asteroid with a (mere) 4% chance of hitting the moon.

• Holmberg’s worry: What are the odds? Why nuke for a 4% chance?
• Jokes about Oppenheimer fears (“What if we light the atmosphere on fire?”—21:01), referencing Armageddon (the movie), pop culture anxiety over asteroid movies/games (“Asteroids taught us! You shoot ‘em, they break into a hundred pieces—let’s keep shooting!”—32:47)
• Panel considers geopolitics: If the US nukes the asteroid, will Russia want to, too?
• “If this were 1975, we’d be playing a song from 1925…not many bangers from then!” (In a later segment, 90:41)

Notable Quotes:

• “Maybe we just want to use our toys.” (21:02)
• “Let’s chuck the old nukes at it.” (30:20)

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5. Video Games and Gen X Anxiety (35:16 – 37:56)

• Panel reminisces about the stress arcades inflicted: “We used to pay to get anxiety: Donkey Kong, Asteroids, Bartender. Now kids complain about anxiety? We invented it!” —Holmberg (35:53)
• “Robotron with all them shooting robots!” —Brady (35:41)
• “We used to pay for it. We’d steal quarters from our parents to go have anxiety.” (37:39)

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6. Absurdity, Fact-Checking, and the “John Eaton” Stick-in-the-Ass Rant (39:54 – 48:12, 67:49+)

• An indignant listener (John Eaton) emails corrections about nuclear physics, missing the comedic/satirical bits about nukes-in-space.
• Holmberg breaks the “fourth wall” to explain: “If you’re firing off an email to correct the scientific nature of an absurd statement—you’re the one that needs to do research.” (43:35)
• Ongoing running gag: “John Eaton” becomes the show’s mascot for fun-policing, literalism, and killjoy energy.
• Crew repeatedly calls back to “John Eaton” as a way to highlight people who miss or ruin the joke.

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7. Radio Contest/Executive Satire – Merc Mania Banned (44:48 – 49:53 and throughout)

• Holmberg reveals that a spontaneous call-in segment (offering $500k of his own cash if callers could answer obscure Mercury [WNBA] trivia) spooked the legal department.
• They threatened discipline: “Don’t ever give your own money away!” (46:11)
• Crew riffs on radio management, creative gatekeeping, and the enemy of fun (“Trip was called the enemy of fun in L.A.”—50:09)
• Running tension: management’s “what if” worries vs. real radio entertainment.

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8. Chinese Bitcoin Scam Queen (51:54 – 64:43)

• Holmberg breaks down the story of a Chinese woman in Britain who scammed $7.3 billion via bitcoin-related schemes.
• Panel ponders: “When do you stop, if your scam keeps printing millions?” (55:53+)
• Stereotype humor about international names and confusion (“She could walk in and change clothes, I’d think we have two Chinese guys working here”—58:52+)
• Side commentary on job interview dress codes and property purchases in Dubai with ill-gotten loot.

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9. Saudi Arabia’s Comedy Festival – Hypocrisy Debate (70:11 – 87:00)

• Topic: Big-name US comedians (Dave Chappelle, Bill Burr) played a government-sponsored festival there—taking money from a regime known for human rights abuses.
• David Cross’s Critique: “Comedians can no longer be taken seriously when you complain about anything…especially after taking money from those who condone totalitarianism, oppression, and execution.” (74:00–75:11 paraphrased)
• Crew debates artistic morality v. getting paid.
  • “Everyone can be bought…when your job is opinion, and you go play in that arena, it’s different than selling coffee.” (80:43)
  • Contrast between neutral artists vs. ‘opinion-based’ comics like Chappelle.
• “It makes you a hypocrite. And that’s the worst thing that can happen to you in comedy.” (84:03)

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10. Music & Rock Wars: WNBA Edition (140:17–151:24)

• Rock Wars weekly challenge: What song plays in a man’s head as he’s forced to attend the WNBA Finals with his wife/girlfriend/daughter?
  • Larry (for Brett): Ozzy Osbourne, “Suicide Solution” (ultimate escape)
  • Brady: Limp Bizkit, “Nookie” (doing it just to get laid)
  • Holmberg: Ben Folds Five, “Brick” (abortion metaphor for the state of the game)
• Panel riffs on men faking enthusiasm at sports/events for relationships.
• Running meta-joke: Would Brady suffer through WNBA with Kirby? “You would be there and say, I was entertained.” (144:50)

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11. Random News, Absurdities & Audience Interaction (93:35+ interspersed throughout)

• “Brady Report” segment: fun facts (Don LaFontaine, who voiced movie trailers, died in 2008; American wins cheese Olympics; tetanus isn’t from rust; etc.)
• Riffing on scams, double-dashing on food delivery, taking risks in the HOV lane, and America’s addiction to convenience and easy money.
• Wrapping with locker-room gross-out humor: viral video reviews, bodily function gags (snot rockets, etc.), and intentionally lowbrow bits.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Neighborhood Halloween chaos:
“It just stays laid down in their front yard…is that really how you want your house to look? Unclean-clean?” (04:28)

On workplace racially charged texts:
“Don’t have a company phone if you wanna save 40, 50 bucks and have racist memes, the N words, watch this abortion joke. You’re setting yourself up.” (07:37)

On being fired for racist text:
“He shook your hand. He was the bigger man…But I already got you.” (08:45)

On white office culture:
“Don’t text the N word to each other as much. That’s a thing we could start with.” (08:33)

On company phone surveillance:
“Google knows what you’re doing. You think they can’t? Hubbard’s good, but they warn you in Porhub!” (15:33)

On asteroid plan:
“We’re just children who want to use our toys. 4% chance! Can’t we wait?” (21:01)

On radio bosses:
“They are the opposite of people who come up with ideas. They’re people who kill ideas.” (50:09)

On the ‘fact-check’ audience:
“If you’re firing off an email to correct the scientific nature of the absurd statement—you’re the one that needs to do research.” (43:35)

On comedy hypocrisy:
“Chappelle’s whole career is his opinions. Now you go play to a regime that stands for everything you say you hate? It puts a target on your back.” (80:43)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Historic October 1st rundown: 00:00 – 04:25
• Neighborhood Halloween drama: 04:21 – 05:25
• Workplace “N word guy” saga: 05:25 – 18:21
• Armageddon/asteroid talk: 18:49 – 32:46
• Video game anxiety/JenX lives: 35:16 – 37:56
• Fact-checker (“John Eaton”) rants: 39:54 – 48:12, 67:49
• Merc Mania & radio management: 44:48 – 49:53
• Bitcoin scam queen: 51:54 – 64:43
• Saudi Arabia comedy/hypocrisy: 70:11 – 87:00
• Rock Wars: WNBA Edition: 140:17 – 151:24
• Brady Report/random news: 93:35 – 112:22
• Gross-out videos: 112:23 – 120:22

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Signature Tone & Takeaways

• Satirical, self-aware, biting, and not afraid to be absurd or controversial.
• The show embraces 'offense' and treads into taboo subjects but always circles back to self-effacement and open-ended debate.
• Constant engagement with “stupid audience comments” fuels ongoing humor and meta-commentary.
• Panel skewers hypocrisy, both in society and in the audience.
• “John Eaton” becomes a running character for listeners who “just don’t get it.”
• Subplots about radio bureaucracy, management, and the death of fun thread throughout.
• Overall, vibrant, edgy, and unfiltered radio—perfect for listeners who want humor with a hard, weird, insight-packed edge.

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Essential Quotes (by Timestamp & Speaker)

• John Holmberg:
  • “This might be the most successful day in the history of history.” (01:09)
  • “Don’t text the N word to each other as much. That’s a thing we could start with.” (08:33)
  • “Google knows what you’re doing. You think they can’t?” (15:33)
  • “Don’t be the office dickhead.” (09:35+)
• Panel (on comedy motives):
  • “Everyone can be bought...But when you have a moral stance, just don’t answer the phone—because they’ll find a number you can’t say no to.” (80:43)
  • “It basically makes you a hypocrite. That’s the worst thing that can happen in comedy when your career is based on your opinion.” (84:03)

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Conclusion

For listeners who missed the live broadcast, this episode showcases the full palette of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: historic trivia, hyper-current scandal, biting office truths, pop-culture tangents, and unrelenting mockery—of others and themselves. Whether dissecting the decision to nuke asteroids or lampooning WNBA fans, the show’s blend of smart irreverence and chaotic energy shines at full volume.

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Listen if you love:

• Wild, unsanitized morning radio
• Self-aware, meta comedy
• Topical absurdity and real-life drama merged
• Audience call-in culture and running in-jokes

SKIP if you can’t stand:

• Off-color humor, envelope-pushing
• Hosts making fun of audience feedback

But if you know the tone—Holmberg’s crew is in top form.

Transcript

[Tripp]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com FanDuel is getting you ready for kickoff with an offer you won't want to miss. New customers can bet just $5 and get 300 in bonus bets. If you win, bet 5 bucks. And if it wins, you'll unlock 300 bucks in bonus bets to use all across the app. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and I'm loving FanDuel and football being back, building parlays like crazy. And you can build parlays, bet player props, ride the live lines. Whatever your style, FanDuel has got you covered. And all you have to do is visit fanduel.comkupd to download the FanDuel app today and and get started. I'll be all over my Steelers this week. It's going to be a blast for me. FanDuel.com KUPD is the promo code. Put it in there and download the FanDuel app today. 21 plus and present in Arizona. First online real money wager only. 5$. First deposit required. Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 533-42. Still streaming. Homberg's Morning sickness. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to October. What? It's 5:45 in the morning. You knew that part. This Holmberg's morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Toledo. Brady just handed me something right before we went on the air. This might be the most successful day in the history of history. Like every. We get these sheets every day of like on this day in history kind of thing. And most of the time you'll find one or two little tidbits. Listen to this.

[Brady]

And for some reason I decided to check it out. I'm like October 1st. I'm curious.

[John Holmberg]

Man. This is unreal. 135 years ago, Yosemite started. That's information Henry T introduced or Henry T. Henry Ford introduced the Model T in 1908.

[Brady]

825 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

No sticker price. $100 million back then. Everything. Everything back in 1908 was less than a nickel. I still don't know how they got by then. Today is the day Babe Ruth called his shot at Wrigley Field in 1932. Supposedly argument that he was just pointing. He was just pointing at the hot girl. At a pitcher that hit him earlier in the year. Which is a great story. But if he did call a shot, even better because it over the center field fence. Roger Maris broke Babe Ruth's record on this day 64 years ago. Damn. Johnny Carson debuted as the Tonight show host today. 63 years ago. His guests were Mel Brooks, Tony Bennett, Rudy Valley and Joan Crawford. That's a heck of a lineup.

[Tripp]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Beach Boys released Surf and Safari. Beatles released Abbey Road. All of this. On October 1st, Walt Disney World opened. This is a little bit of an off one, but it's in the mix. Leatherface, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the original came out. Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier fought the thriller in Manila on October 1st. How about that?

[Brady]

I just saw something on Disney World that. It's the same size as San Francisco.

[John Holmberg]

It's huge. It's like. It's like eight square miles or something. That's massive. Yeah. A couple of Good Charlotte released and I'm. Nobody cares about that. George Michael was arrested for.

[Brady]

At the.

[John Holmberg]

For blowing it. No, he got. No, he just got in trouble for being dwacking. No, this wasn't the one. We got in trouble for that. Today's the day on bad news October 1st that it's the 8th anniversary of the Las Vegas Mandalay Bay shooting. Oh man, that's amazing. I have. I don't think I've ever seen one of these this day in history. It's like bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Like that's a load of them. Ali, Frazier. That's nuts. That's nuts.

[Brady]

Ever since our talk yesterday about the Halloween decorations, man, the neighborhood is a buzz.

[John Holmberg]

Is it buzzing? They put them up October 1st, you.

[Brady]

Know, or like, you know, I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

Know this, but I told you that there was a letter left by the city to that. That blight filled front yard that I live by of the skeleton that's now they think it looks cool, I think since the storm knocked down their skeleton. So it just stays laid down in their front yard. And they had terrible stuff all over their yard when the storms hit. Those dumb cobwebs that they put. And there's no clear path to their door. So the city put a thing that says you can't get mail and you can't have this unless you give us a clear path to the door. And it all went away yesterday. Like, they're upset there's still the dumb skeleton laying dead in the front yard. But all the crap. And now it's okay. I don't know why you want your house to look unclean clean as well, with the cobwebs and the silliness, but it looks good now. Finally. That's how that works. So what are you going to do? It's interesting. Remember Monday in the what would Brady do? Segment of the program, we had the. The guy who inadvertent. Well, inadvertently, he very purposefully text a thread of people at his work. I don't remember the exact game he was talking about, but he said something about curb stomping a. Oh, yeah, yeah. American History X style. And he used the N word in his text in a fit of emotion and attempt to be, you know, crazy and funny and forgotten that one of the people in the thread was a co worker who was a black guy. And so he asked, do I.

[Brady]

Old fantasy football.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. No. Oh, there's a fantasy, all right, that everybody gets along well. He, we. You know, his question on Monday was, do I apologize? What do I do? How do I handle this? And obviously we all said, you can apologize, but you're going to have to eat this one. This is. You know, part of me says if he doesn't bring it up, don't bring it up. But you don't know what his reaction is going to be. I got the email last night says John. Just a follow up and it is not a good one. I apologize to the guy I worked with for using the N word and the text. And I told him exactly what you said. It's something I have used in the past, but after this incident, I have chosen to never use it again and I apologize. I was actually surprised. He took my apology very well and shook hands. And about two hours before he was finished up on Monday, my supervisor asked me to talk with him and the big boss and they fired me.

[Brady]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

So evidently my apology was he still told the bosses what happened. And because it was a company phone and it was company time, uh, they cited a time in 2022 where I pushed a coworker and he fell into a female by the coffee machine. She burned her hand. Admittedly, I have had anger issues in the past, so this is more about my past than the N word. But I'm toast. Uh, maybe I shouldn't have apologized since the C word. Ratted me out anyway. Well, here we go again. You called him a name. Now it's direct. Uh, anyway, never apologize. I guess Holmberg's right. HC Now I. People keep emailing. I've never said never apologize when you're wrong. Apologize to a person, not a mob. And you did exactly what you did. But also doesn't exonerate you from all things that are bad. And a company phone. How many times. If Homeberg's right about you think that I said never apologize. Also, don't have a company phone. If you're trying to save 40, 50 bucks a month and have a company phone, just know your racist memes, your tweets, your hilarious Instagram watch, this abortion joke, the N words, this, that, and the other. That's just. You're. You're setting yourself up.

[Brady]

Seems to be mentioning a couple of things that have happened in the past.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you punched a guy at work and knocked a woman into a hot plate. So, yeah, you are.

[Brady]

And then company phone on top of that is like, read the room.

[John Holmberg]

Well, how about company phone or otherwise, we don't text the black guy the N word.

[Brady]

That's read the.

[John Holmberg]

Start there, then second. And I know this is a tough one, whitey. Don't text the N word to each other as much. That's a thing we could start with. It's not the black guy's fault for rat you out. He hates you now, and rightfully so.

[Brady]

If that is hard to do, you can't.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna get in trouble again.

[Brady]

Want to put that on there? Then you.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, man. What a. What a. Steve, this guy's an absolute no word. You are. I told him I was sorry. Yeah.

[Brady]

But just.

[John Holmberg]

It's still. The damage was done. He hates you. You immediately made him hate you. He shook your hand. He was a bigger man by just not saying, you know what? Screw you. He took your apology, looked you in the eye, and said, damage already. I already got you. I already got you. I'll take your apology. That's great. But I already got you. Now it's up to the boss to see what's going on. That's bad. And if you've been pushing people around the office for the last few years and you're sitting there going, this is about my past. I think we all have had that guy in the office that have done stuff like that, and you're like, yeah, it is about your past, and we don't want that to happen again. So N word guy is what you're known as now. And luckily, he didn't. Maybe he did. Maybe he will. He didn't tell everybody else at work that that's who you are and you just need to move on. But it sucks you got fired. But he should have been fired for pushing that guy a couple years ago. Yeah, that.

[Tripp]

That blows me away, actually.

[John Holmberg]

You must be pretty good at what you do, because the second you start knocking broads into coffee machines. Yeah. I'm not real sure what's. What's worse. The physical act of shoving people when there's women near, you know, hot things or just, you know, being kind of out. You sound a little bit like you need some work on yourself there. Maybe take this.

[Brady]

You know, even the scenario, even if the guy said who he called the N word or, you know, apologized to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Said something to the boss or whatever and goes, you know, he apologized to me. The boss is still going to say, what's going on here?

[John Holmberg]

As a boss, you can't have the. If. If the black guy at work comes in and said, that's. You know, that's why I always said, miles Garrett's the probably, you know, one of the worst people in the NFL, because when he tried to kill a guy with a helmet, he tried to get out of it by saying, he called me the N word. And everyone on the field went, don't do this to him. He did not. Even his own teammates were like, I didn't hear that. He was using it as that cure all. Because there's no person on the planet who's running any business or even, like, a restaurant floor who's like, hey, by the way, Brett called me the N word. You gotta talk to Brett and go, did you call me N? And then the fight starts.

[Brady]

No, I said, dinger.

[John Holmberg]

No. I was trying to get the Rockies mascot. It's a common mistake. But, yeah, everybody. Every boss has to react with it. Can't have that. Because if I don't react now, I'm on the right. Like, I'm done. So it's a weapon that can get used to. To get people in trouble. And Miles Garrett did. I remember saying that the day after Miles Garrett tried to kill Mason Rudolph with his helmet. And I remember saying the next day, the only way out of this. And I guarantee you he's going to try it, is to say that Mason did something racist and set him off. And when he. And he didn't the night of, he didn't the next day. He waited for, like, Tuesday after the Sunday game to say it. And even the guy that Stands next to him. Larry Ogun Jovi stood right next to him and said, yeah, I didn't hear that. And Larry Ogun Joby ended up on the Steelers. And then a year later, Miles Garrett and Mason Rudolph are shaking hands in the middle of the field. Do you think of a dude who tried to kill you with a helmet and tried to do it?

[Brady]

Remember that time I swung my home with you?

[John Holmberg]

Remember that time that you called me and got away with it and I tried to kill you? Yeah. Bygones, right? Oh, yeah. No, we're going to have a great game, enjoy a good game.

[Brady]

Caught up in competition, Right?

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't happen. Sorry I lied and tried to ruin your life. Yeah, well, you also tried to kill me. Yeah. Yeah, Well, I was pretty frustrated that day. Yeah, that's what I'm gathering.

[Tripp]

I want to know what happened at the end of this conversation. Like when he's walking out and he goes. I take it all back.

[John Holmberg]

You are. Yeah, I know. He probably. He's one of those guys. And then he went and he grabbed a woman and he put her in the microwave.

[Brady]

Finish the restless, kid.

[John Holmberg]

Put your head in the oven. I'm not done with this place anyway. So what are you gonna do? It's a slippery. And I hate to say this because it's gonna get him. So it's a slippery slope that you get into when you start using racist language around the office like that. Yeah, that's right. Nick emails in. He's like Randy on South park when he went onto the Wheel of Fortune and he thought the clue had the N word in it, and he said it, but it was naggers. It's one of the funniest episodes you've ever seen at South Park. And then he became known around the town as N word Guy. And that's what they just called him. And he's like, hey, it's. But they said it out loud. It was hilarious because it was like such a. It was such a cloud that followed him. And it was a. It was a scourge he could not shake. And it was. That's exactly what's happened to this dude who emailed us. And I don't know if you want sympathy from us, but it sounds like you might have been the office way before. N word gate. Sounds like you might have been the office dickhead. N word gate. I like. I would like to. I mean, to this idiot's credit, that's a very funny thing if that became a gate. But, yeah, it sounds like when you push that Dude. And knock that lady down. You were the office dickhead, so you should have been fired for physically attacking a co worker a long time ago. So work on yourself. You've got some time now. I'm sure they gave you a couple weeks of pay while you're looking for it. Take. Take three or four hours a day to look for a job and three or four hours today to look inward. I said inward. And find out why you're such a dick knocking people. Well, I mean, there's never going to be a reason why pushing or throwing something or doing things at work is. Is reasonable to any manager. Unless that guy attacked you, which you didn't include in your email, so that tells me you didn't say, I had to defend myself once from a crazy coworker who tried to punch me and accidentally hit a woman into the coffee machine in the fight. That's you being attacked. You sound like you. You know, I've had anger issues. Things like that. That's your past. Will catch up with you with that kind of stuff. Don't be the office dickhead. And don't use a company phone for wacky Sunday afternoon football jokes. It feels like it's yours, but it's not. You're borrowing it. I've talked to. I don't know how many people have talked out of having the Hubbard company phone here. Well, what are you doing? What are you doing? Google knows what you're doing. You think that they can't. You know, Hubbard's good. They warn you in pornhub. It's like Google knows exactly what. You use this site to block all the. Like, your past. Because you're going on a lot of porn sites, and they're basically saying, if your wife's up your ass, here's what you do. But if you. You know, it's easy. All they do, they have to. They ask for your phone. You got to give it to them. Ask Tom Brady. Yeah, and that was his phone, and they still almost got it. Imagine if it was the NFL's. Like, we have a Verizon wireless plan for the NFL players, and you will save you 90 bucks a month. I don't think any of the football players were like, oh, that sounds like a grind. Gonna save that money?

[Tripp]

No, I'm good, man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, so don't. Just stop it. Everybody be smarter. And don't be the office dickhead. And stop saying the N word freely like that. Although N word gate is pretty hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. Ryan says you should have done the Amon Ross St. Brown when you left and just said it. I run this. Ah, there he goes again. Yeah, double down on it or something. But guess what? Now you got to go. First thing you got to do is head over to AT&T and get yourself a new phone. Then start complaining to people on that.

[Brady]

The hypocrisy. Hypocrisy sometimes cracks me up when people complain about something like what happened. Well, it called me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You know, a racial slur that I didn't, like, appreciate.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Who did it? Well, it was the mini guinea.

[John Holmberg]

Right, Here we go. There's a lot of that. There's a lot of. Or you can just double down and start throwing it around a lot more with an A on the end of it, as if you just use it. And then when the guy goes, hey, you want to calm down on that? It's like, oh, no, no, no, I'm Wasn't harder, bro. Yeah, no, and I'm also, like, I said all the time, I listen to rap, and I'm like, no, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, text him in the morning, what's up? And just, hey, this guy's getting. I think he thinks we're too close. And then tell them, I thought we were good friends. I thought I had a pass. I never had a pass. And they're like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Yeah, I thought this is cool because I listened to so much old school rap. It's the only way out of it. I mean, you're a jackass. And that time you push that man did you in.

[Brady]

I'm a chronic kid.

[John Holmberg]

How badly did the woman get burned at work? Probably not a lot, but it was just enough to scare her. She was in the midst of a kitchen fight at work, so she was abroad. All right, now, see, this is going to be.

[Brady]

Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

This broad. Yeah, she. But you know what? If she had better balance, she wouldn't have had to grab the coffee pot to. To. It was her own fault.

[Tripp]

Shouldn't have asked twice.

[John Holmberg]

You shouldn't be in a scuffle in the office kitchen. Especially when chick just trying to make herself a cup of joe.

[Brady]

Someone gets.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna knock you the out. Please wait till I'm done with my coffee pour. Once Susan leaves this room, you're going down, chief. Yeah, don't be the office. That's it. But thanks for sharing everything with us. And did you win the football pool? That's the bigger thing. You said that you had won the game was if I Remember? Right. It was Jacksonville versus the 49ers.

[Tripp]

It's gonna need that money now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Hopefully. Hopefully they pay out still because this happened on Monday. You got fired Monday.

[Brady]

It's the company. Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

More than likely we still needed a points for Monday Night Football's game. I don't know if you won your pool.

[Tripp]

He's not in Toledo's league, is he?

[John Holmberg]

Well then that's what I'm saying. Toledo's a. There's no way he's paying. That was the C word, by the way. N word. Just to let you know. I don't. I'm going to throw that bomb at anybody. Don't worry about it. Yeah, so he kind of hit us with that and was pretty good. And then more last night I watched that asteroid that's headed towards the moon. And now we're getting serious about the way I talked about earlier in the week how we had the Armageddon. You know the Armageddon.

[Brady]

Shoot a nuke at it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're gonna try to nuke an asteroid. And I'm like this thing must be kind of serious. Cause now we got like NBC is talking about it like and I don't. That's not a. There's a lot going on so they didn't have to waste time. This isn't a time filled story. There's. They could dodge this if it was. And so we're talking about throwing a couple nukes at it. Cause they're worried that if it hits the moon it'd cause a disruption and debris would go shooting into space and then there's a chance it could hit the space station or satel lights. And I'm like well isn't nuking it? Isn't there a potential that it goes off course towards us?

[Larry McFeely]

It's Dick Toledo from Holmberg's morning sickness for our friends at FanDuel. And by now you know the FanDuel sportsbook app is your home for all your favorite NFL bets from straight up Moneyline bets on who's going to win yards to touchdowns. With FanDuel, any play can be the play of the game. And right now FanDuel is giving all custom 50% profit boost token tonight on either game of your choosing. So maybe you want to take the Buccaneers over the Texans on the money line or maybe you like the Raiders to upset the Chargers. Emeka Igbuka for an anytime touchdown score lab. McConkey to go over the number of receptions or Justin Herbert to go over his passing yards total with all these bets you can make FanDuel your go to app for any snap. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD and play your game with FanDuel, an official sports betting partner of the NFL 21 plus and President Arizona opt in required bonus issued is now withdrawal double profit boost tokens Restrictions apply including any token expiration and max wager amount. See [e-mail] gambling problem call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342 not great with finances.

[John Holmberg]

That's okay. Experian is your big financial friend. Explore credit card offers some labeled no ding decline which means if you're not approved they won't hurt your credit scores. See experian.com for details. Applying for no ding decline Cars won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially approved. 2025 Experian Experian Holmberg's morning sickness what do you think the percentages of it the chances are they think it'll hit the moon that's making us discuss nuking the asteroid. 2% you're a little low.

[Tripp]

15% it's 4.

[John Holmberg]

Brady was closer than you thought. But it's 4% before we're just children who want to use our toys. 4% chance can't we like four days before it's close to the moon realize okay there it is and just be on guard. We don't have to go out there and just start nuking it and just go ah we got to get rid of this thing. What if it doesn't work? And here's the other thing I watched Oppenheimer they were worried that it would chain react and all of the earth's atmosphere would light on fire across the globe. That was their fear of we don't know how this how this is going to stop itself because that's what the nuclear is it fusion they do is that it reacts by building more and more and more and more and more and never stops as long as it has its fuel. And they thought it was oxygen and they were wrong. They know it has a certain but it kills itself. What if in space whatever's out there we don't know that there's something in the space air that there isn't any of that's what I was and it turned space into a fire.

[Brady]

Or does that mushroom cloud just stay.

[John Holmberg]

And float around and just nuke every place and then just dips down and it's impervious to the atmosphere. It gets hotter. So then yeah. What if the mushroom cloud full of nuclear nonsense hits our atmosphere, which is blazing hot, and starts it again. Yeah, it doesn't seem worth it to test nukes that close to the house. You know, if you're going to do it, take it out to Mars. That's what we're. That's the whole point of going to Mars, isn't it? Let's see how nukes react out by Mars. And if Mars goes, big whoop. But don't start screwing around. 4% chance. Let's take our chances. I, I like the 96% chance it's not going to hit the moon. Can we be a little positive?

[Tripp]

Just send in the riggers.

[John Holmberg]

They'll take care of us. That's Armageddon taught us. Damn you, Brett. He's not wrong. We go get rough necks, roughnecks, we get some oil riggers. Right, because it' much easier to educate oil riggers to be astronauts than it is astronauts to learn how to work big drills. Such a. Such a concept, Michael. Only Michael Bay could come up with something as stupid as that and watch Americans plop down 20 bucks a person to go sit and watch that nonsense.

[Tripp]

Buscemi saved the world.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Buscemi had the space crazies. They made up. And then Aerosmith died on a vine by putting a Diane Warren song out. There's nothing worse than when Aerosmith plays this live because it's, it's the. It's literally like watching your favorite person put a gun in their mouth and just like, oh, yeah, this is when they killed themselves? I can't remember.

[Brady]

Did they run the scenes, movie scenes in the background in that con in the last concert? Aerosmith?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I stopped watching Aerosmith live for a reason. Where's Joe Perry? They got two of the best guitar players you could ever imagine. I got a piano and strings going. I go, listen to him. And that makes me think of Ben Affleck trying to nailing Bruce Willis's daughter and hitting Steven Tyler's daughter. Yeah, this was it. This was when Steven Tyler called you and you weren't sure they were serious. When he's like, hey, man, Stephen, what's up? I'm going to kill myself. Bye. Oh, he's joking. And then this happened. Always take it seriously when Steven Tyler calls you and says, I think I'm going to write a ballot. No, don't do it. Didn't even write it. He borrowed it from some lady. Ah.

[Tripp]

Has written every ballad in the world.

[John Holmberg]

For the most part. Yeah.

[Brady]

You ever played this for a wedding?

[John Holmberg]

I think I have a couple times here. Or you have. And you know who didn't want it? The groom and you and you. Yeah. The DJ and the groom. This could have been anybody else. The fact that it's Aerosmith is. This is like AC DC doing this song. Like, what are you doing? Oh, gross. And for one of the dumbest movies I've ever watched in my life. And now we're gonna recreate it in real life. It didn't go well, by the way. Watch Armageddon. Everyone died. They all was.

[Brady]

It wasn't.

[Tripp]

I think three of them made it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, a couple of them got on the kid. Yeah.

[Brady]

He made it.

[John Holmberg]

But Bruce Willis.

[Tripp]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Stayed and waved to him. Like it. We killed a lot of dudes.

[Tripp]

I love you, Gracie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. For a 4% chance of this thing hitting the moon, we killed Bruce Willis.

[Brady]

I can't remember.

[Tripp]

He's a good man.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you what. I think that that's what gave Bruce Willis what he's got today. Is it floating around up in space, playing with nukes? Yeah. And he was in Armageddon. He had to listen to song. I think it caused that horrible dementia that he's got, because that song was probably like. And he had to watch the rough cut and everything else. We're gonna add the song here. It's like. Okay. It's like the 800th time I've heard that it's gonna cause dementia in, like, a rare form. Ugh. Yuck. I want to push a man in the kitchen. That's what I. The song. That's the only excuse that guy who emailed us has. If this was playing on a speaker, you're allowed to punch the guy closest to you. Oh. Close your eyes. Hey, man. Hey, Steven. What's going on? I'm gonna take my life tonight. I'm gonna ruin Aerosmith. I'm like, all right, don't do it. It's too late. And he did it.

[Tripp]

Joe Perry project didn't do this one, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Nope, nope. Joe Perry didn't do this one when it was out. Yeah, there's nobody in it. Yeah. He was probably pretending to be sober then. Remember when they went sober and then did this song? And shortly after, you started to see him drinking again? Oh, yeah. I don't blame him. I was drinking after I heard this, too. Why couldn't this have been Celine Dion?

[Tripp]

It could have been just as easy.

[John Holmberg]

Anybody. Anybody but Aerosmith. Oh. Anyway, because Liv said, daddy, will you do a song show, baby? That's how he talks. To people.

[Tripp]

I just want to call him now.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, man, that's how he answers the phone every time. You can't get around it. Thank you for coming to the funeral, Stephen. Hey, man, please. Even the guy in the box, like, if somebody keep. Keep it down. Sorry, man. Anyway, we're gonna recreate Armageddon for some reason, because that seems to be our plan. And all this sounds like to me, even NBC crazy liberal, nutty NBC is like, yeah, nuke it. They seem to be all for it. We all wanna see one go off, just not here. I do wanna see it, but I do fear that we don't know something. And without. And I don't want to find out, like, watch Oppenheimer. Even the dude who knew, like, the smartest people were like, we don't know how this stops itself from continuing to just create more molecules and burn those up. And, I mean, it could just keep going and going and going and let's try it out. That's basically what Oppenheimer was, was a bunch of people saying, might blow up all of air. Give it a run. We haven't tried it in space yet that we know about.

[Brady]

Send the blue penis up there with a crew to get that thing done.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, get William Shatner and Katy Perry and that.

[Tripp]

Yeah, she can sing it down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, those are that gaggle of broads that went up in the blue orbit and became astronauts for eight minutes. Let's get them up there, start nuking stuff. It seems maybe they won't come back. Oh, wouldn't it be great if Katy Perry was the one just waving goodbye to Grace? I love her. Hey, man. Hey, man, we've already done that movie.

[Tripp]

I wouldn't want to miss that thing.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't want to miss that at all. I'd watch that for months anyway. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why 4% chance has us thinking we should nuke it. And I'm also thinking to myself, man, you bang into that and then let's say it works and we blow it up. Now you've got like chunks of asteroid going every direction. Isn't that more dangerous for the space station and our satellites?

[Brady]

Like, we don't know the fraggin that happens.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the fraggin, that's right. Careful, Brennaman. The fragging that happens. We'd be the mayors of Frag City. But yeah, you can't do that stuff. Four percent. And I just. I'm watching it last night. I'm shaking my head just like, these guys are dying to. We've got. What we've been doing since 1947 is building nukes. Like, once we got that.45 out there, we're like, well, I need a few more of these. And we just started to churn them out just to be ahead of Russia. And then Russia's like, watch. Hold my beer. In the 80s and 90s, Russia passed us by a lot. And then we like, could you please dismantle a few of those as we're getting silly? And then when they did that, we caught them. So it's even up. And there's a lot of them and a whole bunch of old ones. You know, let's chuck the old ones. I'm all in on that.

[Brady]

But I can, like, you know, the old. The fear of this stored old dynamite. Oh, it's just unsettled. Don't move it. But what do you do with the old nuclear bombs or.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I know they dismantle different.

[Tripp]

The shelf life on these things, but.

[John Holmberg]

If we've got a few, like, champs that are laying around, it's just for, you know, well, we can rebuild those and pretend and just put those bad boys up there. But I also don't want to find out that whatever is in space, as far as the atmospheric conditions aren't conducive to, like, making nukes better.

[Brady]

It's like old firecrackers. Even. You know, the fuses aren't. Is consistent when they've been sitting around.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you don't know. Super fast. Yeah. I don't know if we're using old ones. We're gonna put one of them. Awesome. Ivy, I've been sitting for 30 years. I don't know what we've got. Whose we're gonna use, I don't know. Is America gonna spend all that money on a nuke and throw it at a Donald Trump? Would. He'd be like, our nukes are the best asteroid destroyers ever. And here's the other thing. Once we do that, we're gonna be doing it all the time because it's a display of power for us or Russia or whoever it's it is. Somehow or another, it's an agreement, too. Like, Russia wouldn't want. Like, we would have to have a neutral country do this. So America didn't get all the credit for saving the moon. The simulation's broken. Once again, America saves the moon. And where was Russia? Nowhere. Putin didn't do a thing. And where was Rocket Man, Mr. I Shoot My ballistic missiles all over the Pacific. Nothing we had to save the moon. And we did it. We're going to do it again. And we would just be firing nukes at asteroids nonstop. To let Russia and everyone else know, guys, if we can hit this, we can crush you. And then Russia would be like, well, we have to hit one now, too, because we have to show them our power. And now the whole, like, nukes in space are a constant to be good show. But come on. 4% chance. It's not. It's not like you just saw Livy Dunn in a bar and you're like, there's a 4% chance I can get this. Like, you still take that swing. You know you're gonna. You know, it's not happening. 96% chances of missing the moon. It's gonna miss the moon. But for some reason or another, we're all aged about throwing nukes at asteroids. Now we got other stuff to do, don't we? Isn't there something the government completely closed. I didn't. Aren't we gonna, like, you can't go to a park today because it's closed.

[Tripp]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Be just like this. Oh, no. Oh, it's asteroid. This is where they got the idea. This is that thing that they tell us at the when. So fun. Damn it. Graphics are horrible. But look at that. One thing we learned from Asteroids. You hit one, and they break into, like, a hundred pieces. Let's keep shooting. What is that thing called? When they. When they show us stuff through entertainment to get us used to something that's real, that's common, like Manchurian Candidate. And then when it does happen, we're used to it. I forget there's like a phrase for it. Asteroid did that. We've been shooting at Asteroids for years. And it's like, eventually we're gonna. People will be like, oh, yeah. And then Armageddon shows us, like, get used to this because it's coming. That's how they use the entertainment industry, is to get people used to things. So when it actually happens in real life, we don't act like it's crazy. I always use the. The, like FaceTime phone as an example, because when Dick Tracy had it on his watch, it was the neatest thing ever. And if it ever happens, I'll pass out. And then when it happens, driverless cars. We don't. We're not amazed by anything because we've been shown it long before it's been invented. They didn't have that with light bulbs and stuff. When Thomas Edison tried to tell people, this is a little piece of Glass. I've got some cardboard in it. And you light it on fire and it glows for like hours on end. And you can turn it on and off. People, that was the first time they'd ever heard of it. So you can imagine the amazement the first time they ever showed a movie feature on the side of a building. Because you remember they didn't have movie theaters back then. People ran away because they didn't know it wasn't real. Giants coming off the wall. We've had asteroids since 1981. So, I mean, we've been waiting to blow these up. God, that sound is inside me. That was a good one. Oh, I gotcha. Damn it. Oh. Asteroid was just as good as it gets and just an anxiety riddled nightmare. This is why I don't like the new generation. You want to talk about. You guys all bitch about, you know, your mental health and your anxiety. We played games that caused it. We would play games that, as you kept playing, the anxiety grew and it turned you into a crazed lunatic. Pac, Donkey Kong, Asteroids. And you thought at first. And the worst part is they teased you with the first round. Like, this is easy. If you ever played the game Tempest as a child.

[Tripp]

Oh, yeah, many times.

[John Holmberg]

There's a reason I'm bald and it's video games. That was the most tense insanity of all time. I sit and listen to this generation of people, I have anxiety and I'm triggered. I'm like, we paid for it. We would steal quarters from our parents to go have anxiety. You guys don't know how good you've got it. God damn these kids today.

[Tripp]

Robotron with all them robots, shoot all around.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, the worst game ever. That's why I always kind of just shake my head when I see somebody young going, I've got mental, I've got anxiety. I watched Dancing with the Stars last night and it was tick tock night and like five or six of those performers did songs to shake off the anxiety that they've lived with for years. Like, I suffer from anxiety. We all do. It's called being alive. I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety. And also I'm like, okay, I can get around this. It's not easy. Sometimes you feel like kind of cruddy, but that's just life. And then. So Jordan Chiles was a gymnast and she did her dance and she goes, I really feel like I left it all out there. I've dealt with so much anxiety and mental illness. I'm like, because you've been told you can't get over it. So she did the dance. I'm like, we think about asteroid. Brett. I'm gonna throw one at you. All right. Bartender.

[Tripp]

Oh, One of my favorite games, but it kills me.

[John Holmberg]

It's. It's a heart attack waiting. If you try to play that in your 50s and like, oh, this will be fun, you're going to have the Widowmaker. Even if you were completely healthy, that game is the most stress inducing thing I've ever played in my life.

[Tripp]

When you try to run down and grab the tips and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

The tips was the worst one. Once you got into them throwing tips and the tips and nothing can break. And there's just five or six beers per thing. Oh, it was horrifying. I was nervous watching other people play, waiting for my turn with my quarter up on the thing. We used to pay for anxiety. Used to pay for it. And the graphics weren't that good. And we still paid for anxiety. Bartender. Dig. Doug. ColecoVision came out with a game called Cosmic Avenger that my dad and I used to play together. And I thought we'd get into fist fight fights. Good Lord. Missile Command, Centipede. I couldn't play Zaxon. I never understood the Dragon's lair. And Zaxon beat me in the first three seconds. We used to pay for anxiety.

[Tripp]

Space Ace.

[John Holmberg]

Ah. And now we're living the life where we're actually going to nuke some asteroids and Space Ace. Oh, I hated that guy. That was just a cartoon. You got to play Space Ace and he'd look at you and bounce. Ready, like, yeah, he's dead. What did I do wrong?

[Tripp]

Another quarter down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then it was dollars. I'm like, I'm gonna get him past that. First off, Space Ace. It looks so good that it never worked. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one. Before we nuke space. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 KU PT still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. Instead of being a. Sorry. Good conversation happening afterward. Speaking of those people, not the. Well, kind of. We'll get to them. Look, here's the thing. I hate to pull the fourth wall down. Sometimes I have to. You know, they do that at play. Sometimes they'll just go playing the part of the absurd person who says crazy things. John Holmberg. There's a good a couple of people. Not a lot, but two. There's babbling Just to fill time. Infuriates me. It's nuclear fission, not fusion. We've detonated quite a few nukes in space. Do one second of research, please. John Eaton. John, you must be a blast at comedy clubs. Like it has to be fun. Of course I'm being absurd for the. Yesterday, I'd spent 20 minutes talking about bombing Gaza with pigs and bacon. I didn't need research for the absurd. I say absurd things when I'm not sure what the truth is. And I know that's kind of destroying the fun part, but some people with sticks in their asses have to have explained to them every once in a while. I'm doing that on purpose. That's the fun part. Yes, I know there's no air in space. My question is, what if? Why are we so hell bent on nuke and stuff in space? I saw it in Armageddon. It didn't work out. That's my research. There's the funny. Do you watch cartoons with kids and go, what? The rabbit's talking. Do some goddamn research. Rabbits can't talk.

[Brady]

He must only tune in the first hour because Brady Report.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna lose his mind. Yeah, the absurdity of things is the com. Yeah, a comedy club must be a nightmare for a guy like that. This just infuriates me. He's just babbling for the sake of it. Do some research, man on stage. This isn't a TED Talk, you dick. I'm goofing. I don't know why we're nuking asteroids. It seems very movie based. I don't think anybody's done a lot of research. I find it hysterical to think that we might do what Steve Buscemi and Bruce Willis came up with back in, like in the early 90s. I gotta deal with idiots like this. That's infuriating. It's fission fusion. I think when you heard me say, what is it? Fission. Clearly I don't know. And I'm making a joke of that. I'm the joke, John. No, no. I'm driving along just being furious at everything. I'm a miserable prick. I was watching TV the other night and there was a woman and she was in a red tight dress and she was quite beautiful. And then later in the film, I found out she was married to a rabbit. This is just insane. This is illegal in all 50 states. Now, see, for the absurdity, I'd have said 51. And then you got. No, there's only 50 states. Count the flag scars. Here's something I do know, and I Don't need to have any research. It's in your ass about 11 inches and he just reach in and pull it out. It's a stick. That's all. Boy, there's some people out there. I'm kidding. I'm being the absurd dumb guy in those situations because I like to take things I'm not sure about and make them loud and absurd. I'm sorry. To all the people who get it that have to have the joke explained to them. But you gotta understand, there's a couple people out there that can't. Can't stop themselves from firing off an angry text at the jokes. That's impossible. The bass boat doesn't go on seawater. Like, okay, that was. Ralphie told that joke about, like the mid. If you took away Budweiser, we would have bass boats going over. We know it doesn't come with salt. Yeah, the salt water wouldn't.

[Brady]

A weekend.

[John Holmberg]

They're not built for salt water. And the. Plus, there's not enough gas. It's a joke. Like, you can't run a bass boat all the way to Saudi Arabia. We know, but that's the absurd. That's. Anyway, if I have to explain it.

[Brady]

I picture the old Bugs Bunny cartoon Yosemite Sam coming.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. I said fishing. Any duck that gets shot that hard loses more than just its beat. Yeah. Get shot in the face with a shotgun and his beak just spun around. He would be dead. We know. John Eaton. We know. We know. We did. The guys at Looney Tunes didn't do any research on what a shotgun blast would do to Daffy Duck. And unfortunately, it was. It was crucial. It was actually paramount to the story. Being kind of lost, by the way, yesterday, again, 20 to 30 minutes on pigs with bombs in them. They didn't hear from you. We're pigs.

[Brady]

They're wild boars.

[John Holmberg]

And then we had boars. And boars technically aren't pigs. Do some research. I drive to my job every day at the stick factory, and I don't understand what happened to me, but I got very angry. I think you sat on one of your sticks at the office and they. Oh, remove that and you'll be fun again. Scott Haynes says he probably watches porn up and goes, well, it's illegal everywhere to have sex with your stepdaughter. This is craziness. Don't stop any talk. I'm gonna call the police. This pornography's gotten into incest.

[Brady]

There's no way she's stuck in that dryer.

[John Holmberg]

That's women. Don't act you can't get. Look at this. She's smaller. Do some research. If you're smaller than the hole, you can slide right out. Why doesn't the man help her back? Oh, he's having sex with it. That's illegal. That's racist.

[Tripp]

How do we know he's bigger than his father?

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand this. I need some sort of context. I can't just take a word for it. Yeah, we know women are liars. That's. We don't need research. Yeah, he's insane. If you. If you're firing off an email to correct the scientific nature of the absurd statement. You're the one that needs to do some research. Hurts. Calling me out on like a goof about how scientifically I'm not right. Let me, let me slow you down there. I know I'm not right. I don't know anything about it. That's the fun of the game. See, I had to deal with this yesterday that people with sticks in their asses. They're called radio executives and their asses are filled with sticks. They're man. It's ridiculous. It's like they can't. They put sticks in the sticks. So our Merck Main. Oh, Brady. Merc Mania taking on the Las Vegas Aces.

[Tripp]

Oh, that's so what happened.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, good luck. Phoenix trying to. Trying to have a weekend in Vegas over the next couple weeks because the flights are going to be full of people flying up there to watch because I know for a fact Merc Mania has. They're going to the road that 93 the street that's going to be. And I know it's a highway, John. You sure? I know it's a highway. I called it a street. Municipal highways are straight. They don't have stops.

[Brady]

Well, there's one hotel that's guarantee you're not gonna be able to get into.

[John Holmberg]

The W. Oh my God, that's. What do they even have a W in Vegas? I don't know why you'd even go. I don't even if they have one. But if they do, you're right. They'll be confused by it. But yeah, the 93 is going to be just. It's going to look like field to dream just cars forever. And then of course you know, the road trip and back and forth. But we tried to do Merc Mania yesterday where I guaranteed I could call anybody in the city and ask a question and I was willing to put up $500,000 for that of my own money. Well. Oh boy. The Bob's you know, here's the fun part. I got a message from one of the Bobs that says that I'm not allowed to give my own money away. And I kind of think he sort of threatened to sue me. I think my own company threatened to sue me.

[Tripp]

So the phone worked for that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. No, they got. They got on the horn for that one.

[Tripp]

Unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

So they're like, don't ever. Don't do that. Don't ever do that again. I'm like, why? It's my money. Don't. Don't ever do that again. Or what? Well, there'll be ramifications. I'm like, I'm fine with that. You'll be sued for. By my own company for giving my money away. Dahlia.

[Brady]

This is interesting.

[John Holmberg]

So they didn't understand that. They thought they were on the hook for it. I don't know. I won't. And then they're telling me not to do it again. You're right. I'm not going to do it again. You know how scared I was? Almost gave away $500,000 if that lady on the phone yesterday knew anything. But, oh, my God. The Bobs, they had meetings with each other and then came back to, like, Larry and me. And what happened in there today? Like, nothing. It's actually okay. Aha. Ah. It's okay. You're all right. Did we call? And they're so afraid, and they had to call legal. I don't know what. I honestly don't know what happened, but it made them very scared, and they thought they were going to have to pay somebody. And. And I'm like, there. Just good radio. I think it got you all fired up. I think that's what good radio does, right? No, we don't know what good radio is. We're radio executives. It's the last thing we know about.

[Brady]

But what did they tell you about that contest you just did?

[John Holmberg]

Well, don't. You don't call it that. Do your research. It was John Eaton, our lawyer. You know nothing tool. How dare you try to give your own money away? Well, don't worry about it. I knew no one would know the answer to who the coach of the Mercury is. You didn't know that for certain. Yeah, but I do now. And it worked. Doc, you're an insane person. I'm like, okay, it matters if you give away your money. You're not.

[Tripp]

You're not charging to trip.

[John Holmberg]

I have. I have a message on my machine in my office from one of the Bobs that was kind of mad at me. And he was. It wasn't a threat. It was like a veiled thing. And it was. And I. I kind of half. I want to play it on the air to see if I could get him to sue me for playing him on the air without his permission. I kind of want to see if my own would come after me.

[Brady]

Not worth it.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, it is, actually. And now I want to do it because they're worried that it's. That they're on the hook for the money. So I kind of. I kind of want to do it again and then go, I don't have it. It. And make them have to pay. It was just weird. And I'm like, yeah, I was just trying to make good radio. Sorry about that. And they're like, ah, how was that good radio? I'm like, it was actually great radio. Like, remember back when. Oh, you guys weren't around when radio was awesome? You took over and ruined it. But, yeah, it used to be that. That stuff was pretty common.

[Brady]

The amazing thing is the person, Michelle, who we called.

[John Holmberg]

Huh? Lady. Oh, she's feeding. Yeah.

[Brady]

Her last name's Tibbets.

[John Holmberg]

Her.

[Brady]

That was. Her husband didn't even know.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? The contestant was married to the coach of the mar.

[Brady]

No idea.

[John Holmberg]

He goes somewhere at night, like, 30 times a year. He has a regular job. He works at the stick factory with a man named John Eaton. Hilarious, man. Yeah, I kind of want to do that. And it wasn't like anybody was, like, mad, But I kind of felt like I was being told they'd sue me. Me if I kept it up. And I'm like, kept up what? Those crazy radio antics. Oh, isn't that what. I know what I'm supposed to do. Yes, but no. Do some research. But I want to play the call I got on the air and then have them come. Why'd you play me on the air? That's illegal. I'm like, yeah, I know. What are you gonna do about that? Well, I'll sue you. Okay. This will be fun. This is, like, stuff. Step sister porn. Like, I don't think you're supposed to be. This is supposed to sue your own people. Why do you want me in trouble so bad? I don't know. I don't like you. Somewhere along the line, that whole group up there just stopped liking me completely.

[Brady]

Doesn't Mr. Beast give away his own money?

[John Holmberg]

That's. Yes, thank you. But he's not under any sort of government control. I think that's what they're more worried he's not. He's an F. Once you get on the Internet, you can do whatever you want. It's not regulated by anything thing.

[Brady]

But then he get, you know, I don't know, a couple of television.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. I don't know nothing. None of it makes sense. So there I was yesterday, doing some research, trying to figure out exactly, like, what's he mad about? And he's mad he didn't think of it. Coming up with ideas. How dare you? This is radio. How'd you come up with that idea? You work in this business. I'm like, I know. I've dealt with consultants and radio executives for a while, and they are the actual opposite of people who come up with ideas. They're people who kill ideas. I love Trip. He's our boss man here. But when he worked at KROC in Los Angeles, Kevin and Bean called him the enemy of fun. Because every time they did something fun, he'd come in and go, stop it. And that's his job. You know, he's got his gig to do. But these dudes are insane. Donovan points out an excellent thing for John Eaton. I mean, Holmberg. The reason I've tuned in for 25 years now is for the scientific accuracy. Look at Brady, a pillar of academia. Yeah, Donovan, you nailed. Isn't that. I actually tried to let you know I was clueless about this. I understand the vacuum of space deep down. But it's more fun to act like I don't. And also, I truly do believe the what if factor is in play. We've looted. We've. We've tested nukes in space a lot. Okay. Have we ever hit an asteroid with one? No. Do we know for certain what's inside that particular asteroid? We know most of the. Okay, most of there. So there's a. The 4% chance it'll hit the moon is the same as the 4% chance it's got a nuke inside of it. You're an idiot. All right, I'm just. I'm just saying it seems excessive.

[Brady]

Can we just reach out to the Guardians of Galaxy?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Well, that was a terrible movie, Brady. The raccoon, it spoke. And it could fight. The average raccoon would lose in a gun battle. It's the recoil of the weapon would knock the raccoon down. They're very light. Thanks, John Eaton, for ruining Guardians of the Galaxy. Steven Texan says the amount of ass that guy doesn't get is unquantifiable. Passionate about space. To a radio jackass. His mom definitely took A lot of Tylenol. I'm gonna love that. That's gonna be a joke for the rest of Tylenol's existence. Tylenol has to change its name, because right now I'm seeing that constantly. Oh, my mom ate Tylenol is the joke. So, yeah, sorry about that. To you guys who were, like, scientifically offended by me being stupid, it's me who should be, like, upset at the entire bit that I'm the dumbass in it. I'm willing to play the role because technically, I don't know everything about space, and neither do you anyway. If I don't understand it and I'm making absurd comments, probably the safe side to err on is Johnson goofing around. I'm not really trying to change science, really. I'm having a discussion that could very well be fun, really, on this show. I know normally I like to go out there and like, Neil degrasse Tyson and just hit you with fact after fact because I'm just loaded with them. Yeah, that dude can't get laid ever again. It is. You know what it is a TED Talk. It is the Enemy of fun is a great nickname. When I found that out, I'm like, oh, I wish I'd have thought of that. But he's always been fun. But, yeah, I kind of want to play. I kind of want to do that. Every time I get. I got a talking to by a authority figure and they leave a recording. They're dumb enough to leave a recording. I'll just play that. I didn't give you permission to put you on the end. Yeah, but you work at a radio station, so I think it's like, I think at any moment that's okay. I'll sue. And if you're out there stealing bitcoin, level her off. I don't know if you guys saw this. There's a certain level of theft that would intoxicate me if I was getting away with it. And this is it. There's a Chinese lady who has pled guilty to in Great Britain because she was. They don't know how she was doing it. There's a certain amount of greed that even I'm like, all right, I got plenty. I'm gonna stop now. She got involved in, like, scamming people out of bitcoin to the tune of $7.3 billion. Wow. And she had done it a bunch. So she was looking for a couple houses in Dubai when they nailed her, and she's like, no, I'm working for a really Rich Chinese businessman. He's telling me to do that. I'm like, huh? And then they looked and they noticed that she had been about $7.3 billion. So she got up over about 400 million in her bank account before she started getting a little cavalier with how she was spending 7.3 billion. I think you start losing touch with what 400 million is, and you throw it around, like, 20s. And she was going to get like a. She was buying an island or something like that. And they're like, who is this? Like, she's an assistant for a bank manager. Why is she buying a $400 million property in Dubai or whatever she was doing? And so they looked into it, and she's like, yeah, I got a little. It got a little out of hand kind of quick. $7.3 billion. And I said to myself as I read the article, and where would I draw the line if I had figured out a scam? And I hit that 2 or $300 million mark before my tummy starts spinning, and I'm like, this is not good. You just need to stop now. Where do you stop? And then once you get to a billion, you're like, okay, that's enough. But if you can get to a billion, 2 billion starts looking pretty good. And then, you know, next thing you know, you're at 7, and you're like, I don't. I think I might have a problem.

[Tripp]

It's like in Vegas. Just keep chasing.

[John Holmberg]

You chase and. But she's winning. You don't walk away from a heater.

[Tripp]

Oh, I know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And she was on quite a heater. And here's the other thing. If you look at her, she doesn't look like a billionaire at all. Wow.

[Brady]

And then going around.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's going around buying stuff. It's a lovely house, right? And that's the thing. If you're gonna buy a house in Dubai and you're a Chinese and you're there, dress up a little. No sweatpants and, you know, Everlast shirts.

[Brady]

So what happens?

[John Holmberg]

Everest. It's actually spelled wrong.

[Brady]

7.3 billion scammed. What happens? Does that go back to where it was?

[John Holmberg]

It just moves around. No one knows for sure. It's a nuclear fission, Brady. I think that's it. And that goes into space and we nuke it. I don't know.

[Brady]

Chinese government says we, we're going to handle this.

[John Holmberg]

Probably the Chinese government will take hold of it. But $7.3 billion had been moved. It doesn't mean she had it, but it had Been kind of danced around that area. And she was dabbling around, cashing in on hundreds of millions of dollars without, like, blinking an eye. And she looks like a Chinese housemaid. And so you're kind of like, oh, you know, and people hate that. That's true. But around the world. Well, when you look at somebody and they're like, I got billions, and you're like, you look filthy. Skepticism kicks in based on your appearance. That's why you don't go to job interviews dressed like. Like, well, like me right now. There's a T shirt and shorts. And, like, you don't go in there because it's a. An impression you're leaving on somebody. And when you're technically buying a house in Dubai for a couple hundred million dollars, people are going to look at you like, where's this money coming from? You're. This is weird.

[Brady]

26 million. He paid cash.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you know, Chinese businessmen come in. A lot of times. Russians have to pay cash because they're not allowed to do any transfers. Banking from Russia throughout the. Maybe in the Middle east, but I don't think Dubai. They had to pay cash for gas in Alaska when Putin's plane was. It had to be a cash buy because they're not allowed to use banking at all. Not leaving paid cash or you're out. And Trump. It would have been awesome if Trump went over. Do you need a loan for the. Here, let me just. I'll fill your tank with American money. So, yeah, don't get greedy if you're stealing right now. That's a. Her name is. She had two names, and that's the other thing. And that's the bigot. The bigot that lives inside of me is the. Like, she had one name, and it was Jimin Quinn. And she also had a. An alias, another name. It was M A Y E. No, it was Yadi Zhang. And I'm like, Chinese names.

[Tripp]

Sounds the same.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. I couldn't tell. Like, I wouldn't remember your first time. I. Titty Quinn. Okay. I figured that was close to that. What is your query? Chidi Quinn. Now I'm Yadi Jang. I think that's what you said the first time. I don't know. Your language is confusing.

[Brady]

It's nice to meet you and your husband. Cha.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just gonna call you Susan and you Chris. Okay. You're all named Chris, if that's all right. But, yeah, she went with Yadi Zhang when she didn't want anybody to identify her. And I'm like, hey, Chinese people. Nobody can identify you anyway, internationally. Don't worry about it. You don't have to go alias on us. You could be a. I'm telling you right now, in this room, we could have a Chinese man working here right straight out of China. This I'm telling you out of fact, not because I'm a jerk, but this is just our eyes. And I think they'd be the same with us. And he walks in and he does it. I don't know if they bow. I think that's Japanese. But he says, hello. And then he says, my name is Ken. Like, all right, how are you, Ken? And then he goes down the hall and changes his clothes and comes back and introduces himself at someone else. All three of us sitting in this room right now would think we hired two Chinese guys. We wouldn't know for sure. And we would never.

[Brady]

I'm not gonna question.

[John Holmberg]

I would never say hi to them. I'd be Brady on that one. What's up, chief? Hi. Hey, buddy. I'd never say Ken or what the other guy said his name was. I'd never even dabble. And trying to know who. And I would assume for probably it would go on a good seven or eight years that we had two Chinese men working here just because he pulled that prank on me day one. And I would never look into it. John Eaton. That's one I'm never going to do research on, ever. You get one Chinese guy with two personalities, I assume we've got two Chinese guys. So to change your name, that's pointless.

[Brady]

Did it say how long she'd been doing this?

[John Holmberg]

Since 2014.

[Brady]

How about that?

[John Holmberg]

So in 11 years, she got $7.3 billion.

[Tripp]

Nice turnaround.

[John Holmberg]

It is a pretty ROI on that scam was good.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

And they even said they don't know how she's orchestrating the fraud scheme. In China, she defrauded 128,000 victims between 14 and 17. And she stored the illegally obtained funds in bitcoin assets. So she was stealing, putting it in bitcoin. It grew. That's how it got to 7.3. So she didn't steal. So, okay, that makes more sense now. It kind of adds up. But she doesn't, though, because you still have to get, like, the hundreds of millions of dollars to get to that. And she made 7.3 billion hiding her stolen money in bitcoin. Just genius, really, when you think about it. But after a while now, I checked my Coinbase account quite a bit, and I watched my. My very small Bitcoin investment kind of grow or shrink pretty much 35 times a day. I'm looking at that. I. And if it jumped up to $7.3 billion, I put the brakes on. I think my dad and I are in it together, and we've got a mark on ours to where we start taking money, and it's a pretty reasonable number. And then we're going to keep some in there in case it keeps going. But neither of us have ever said, all right, we got a pretty nice thing here. Let's say if it gets to a billion, we pull out. No, dad, I'm going to go way earlier than that. Way earlier than that.

[Brady]

It's a good start.

[John Holmberg]

I might take enough to have a trip to Australia or something. I might take, like, 30 grand, and I think that would be a nice start. No, no, we got to think bigger. I'm like, yeah, think big all you want. I'm still going to take. Take some wins here now and again. And we've had some nice luck. And my dad gets into this thing where he's like, all right, let's say this thing pops for 10 million. Like, yeah, what do we do? Like, we. We're. Well, we're out like, 4 million before that. First of all, like, I'm not even thinking about 10 million. If we've got six and we're dancing on it, that we're dumb. Let's just steal that. Well, what if it explodes? I'm like, then we'll be like, laughing that we have $6 million. That is pretty good. I'm gonna wait till 10. That's what you think, old man. You don't know how to work. You don't know how to work this app. I'm going to gone transfer. What about the taxes? And we got. We'll deal with our $10 million tax problem when we've got $10 million. I think we wait for it to hit 20 million. Like, that's going to be a couple years. I think I'm the only one that's going to see that, old man. So my dad has that in him, too. A little G. I think my dad would be like, I think we wait till 7.3 billion, and then we start buying stuff.

[Brady]

Patience.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, gotta be patient, son. Like, I. But, yeah, I think you look at that, and after a while, you start seeing those kind of numbers. You stop scamming people. After a while, you start realizing that your scam worked. If I stole $100 from Brady, and let's say I turned that into Oh, I don't know. A hundred million. I'm not asking you for more. That's it. You've done your part. I may not tell you. I might even have the audacity to give you back 120 bucks. There you go, buddy. Thanks for that loan. A little while. I didn't know I loaned anything. Yeah, I swiped it out of your wallet. I feel terrible about it. In fact, here's a thousand dollars to make good for it. I was going through it. I was. I was in a bad space there, and Brady would be like, that's awesome. A decent man did a decent thing. Now where are you gonna go? My house in Dubai. Goodbye, Brady. I'll never talk to you again.

[Brady]

Late, but, yeah, you know, 14 years, you've accumulated 7.3 billion. I don't know what she was doing before that, but one day she, you know, a year into it, pulls up in a McLaren.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. You guys still watch that?

[Brady]

Yeah, because her lifestyle had to have changed if she's looking at, you know, two houses in Dubai.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

I wonder what the story was. Well, she's done really well.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's the thing. I think maybe she was.

[Brady]

She could just say, I mean, doing.

[John Holmberg]

Fantastic in bitcoin, working with this Chinese businessman as his assistant, and we crushed it. And, yeah, she can say, I invested in bitcoin the little bit that I had, and it's turned into a few hundred million. Little did they know that she had jumped it up into the billion.

[Brady]

So you're leaving the cave?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're not going to help us? You're not going to help us yoke the ox in the morning anymore? Oh, I'm all done with that. I don't have to yolk ox again. Wow. How come you didn't tell us about bitcoin? I don't know. How come you have American accent? John Eaton say, nobody do research. What are you yoking oxen for? In China, you have no accent. Accents are racist. Oh, that's what John Eaton would say. He a dick infuriated by no accent yoke of oxen. By the way, John Eaton here, Chinese people in Chinese don't speak with American accents. Speaking English, you idiot. They speak Chinese. Do a little research. If you're gonna do your characters, do it in Mandarin. It's stupid to think that they would just have accents and speak English to each other. They're in China. Do a little research. Your joke holds no water. Holmberg's morning sickness. Holberg's morning sickness. 88 K U P D Holmberg's morning sickness. Iyok oxen. She would have said that in Chinese. I can't stand that guy.

[Brady]

And they can't run on bamboo.

[John Holmberg]

What's the matter with you? I was listening to radio this morning. You're not gonna believe it. Oh, yeah, I heard it. It was pretty funny, John. How can you say that was funny? His Chinese character wasn't even speaking Mandarin. It was just doing English with a. With a crappy accent. It's not authentic. Do you. Do you speak Mandarin, John? No, but I'm an American. Why would I. Why would I do that? Well, then how would he convey the joke to you if he was doing it in Chinese? Well, at least it would have some authenticity, and I could sleep at night. I'm John Eaton, and I have a stick in my asses. Are you telling me after all these years of your fart jokes that they don't contain actual methane gas? I'm going back to Pratt. At least he always gave me everything, including merit. Yeah, that's right. I didn't break down the molecular structure of a fart every time I did the joke. But geez Louise, John, I'm having a rough morning. And then you go on with the accent. Okay, fine. Maybe I didn't do my research. Maybe it wasn't Mandarin. Maybe he's Cantonese. But either way, it wouldn't have been English. And there's no way a guy without an accent is talking about oxen yoking. I yoke oxen all my life. Make billion dollars, move to Dubai. Oh, my God, he's doing it again. He's lost his mind. Also, he's playing the part of two different people, which is called being bipolar. Do you know Richard? Anyway, I'll go to Dutch brothers and yell at them. What's your name, sir? It's John Eaton. You spelled it with an H. It's an N, God damn it. Do some research. Must be rough being that upset at.

[Tripp]

Everything, pulling that stick out, you know?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sticks and asses are rough. I'm glad I've never been like, too stick in the ass about things. Like, I'll have one. Everybody's got one. Every once in a while, sure, get a stick in my ass about that. That. But for the most part, if somebody's just goofing with me, I laugh hysterically at the absurdity of it all. If they say something stupid on the on purpose, that makes me laugh even harder. That's fun. I have a friend named Jordan who's like. He says dumb stuff all the time. Used to be a doctor, but was like, I think they took it all away from him. And now he sells sprinkler products to people who own parking garages. Doesn't make any sense. Sense. So he says dumb things all the time and I laugh hysterically at it because I know I would never say, do your research before you make those jokes. Burner boy emails and says. Sounds like John Eaton just became a rock wars topic today. Maybe. Maybe he's a thread that lasts all day long. And keep in mind, I know you can contact my bosses and they'll gladly get into a class action lawsuit with you against me, but you emailed me, so you volunteered not only your name but your opinion so I can make fun of you all day if I feel like, yeah, just say this. I don't know what this means, so don't hold me to it. Just say, hey, John Eaton, Tony Ma, and make this asshole happy with a Mandarin word. I don't know what that means. I think it's a guy, it's Anthony Ma who lives over there in China. And the guy had the audacity to do just some basic American yoking the oxen, which, by the way, they don't do anymore. Do you have proof of that? Yes. It's not called yoking an oxen either, idiot. See, I don't know, but that seems fun to me to kind of make that joke and stuff that people are serious about. And I don't know where I stand on this one. David Cross from Arrested Development and one of the funniest shows ever that was on HBO with Bob Odenkirk. God, I can't remember the name of it just offhand. The Big Show. Is that what it's called? I think so. I don't remember no Mr. Show. That was it. Mr. Show. He came out against this gigantic comedy festival that just happened in Saudi Arabia this weekend.

[Brady]

The rider.

[John Holmberg]

And I didn't think of it this way. I'm usually just fine with, like, all right, I have no problem with that whole, let's go someplace that's uncomfortable, and if they're asking for it, let's give them what they want. We talked to Jonathan Kite last week when he was here, and he's like, man, it is. It's turned into like a big discussion in the world of comedians of like, can you go to Saudi Arabia to do your job? When I was a little kid, my dad this. It kind of is a weird tie back. My dad's company was getting headhunted by a Saudi Arabian construction Company that was trying to get American workers to go work in Riyadh to build stuff real fast because they were having this big building thing like this boom. And they didn't have a lot of qualified workers. So they were taking these Americans were now bidding these jobs and it would be under the umbrella of the Saudi Arabian company. But you're still an American company saying, we want this money. So there was tons of it. So probably in.

[Brady]

There's guys that went over there.

[John Holmberg]

Incredible.

[Brady]

Five years and retired.

[John Holmberg]

Exact. Talking about 79. My dad gets offered a job with his. His boss was Bill Kelly. My dad was the two on the job building Mountaineers West Virginia, Mountaineer Stadium in West Virginia. They come a calling and, and they offered, I think at the time, in 1979, pretty good money. My dad's probably making about 40 or 50 grand in 79. That was nice. It was a good. It was a really good living. And they. And so you put that in perspective. The Saudi Arabian company shows up, up and offered my dad 170 a year. Whoa, that's fat back then. I mean, I don't know what 50 grand translates today.

[Brady]

That's half mil, probably 170.

[John Holmberg]

170,000. We're getting close to a million. Yeah, I think we're at 10x on 100 million to set in the last 40 years. It's close to 8 or 9 somewhere. Yeah, I think you're probably about right. And then I think maybe even on the light side. So his boss, Bill Kelly, takes the gig, drags his family. They go to Riyadh. My mom said we're not going. And mainly because she was. And not like she took a big political stance, but she basically said the way they treat women over there scares me. It was personal. She's like, I don't want to go there and have to wear the clothes and like, be worried constantly that my kids are going to. We have a daughter and. And my dad comes like, yeah, that's true. And then his boss Bill called and said, it's an American enclave. We can do whatever we want. Like, it's, it's. It's the United States in a giant apartment building. You just can't leave it. If you do, you gotta. The women have to put the things on and they can't drive.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you're gonna go into the community, right. If you stay, stay in the grocery store, drugstore, all American stuff. But you're gonna be. For three years, you're gonna be pretty much locked into this. And my mom said it would be like a prison. And I don't want to raise my kids that way. Well, fast forward about four years. Bill Kelly comes back, retired at age 38, and his kids are tan, so happy, incredibly well rounded, like awesome people. And I think it's my dad's biggest regret, this comedian thing is like, well, they offered him a fortune. The opportunity was to entertain a different culture. Yes. Saudi Arabia had a lot to do with 9 11. Yes. They are not real friendly to the gay community. They oppress gays and women and all that stuff. And that's who you're taking the money directly from, as the guy in charge of it is, you know, the prince. And like, he's like, there's dudes in charge of the way that country's running. So what David Cross said made sense to me because at first I'm like, well, just take the money, go over there, do the laughs, have some fun. It's not like you don't have to be political or anything else. David Cross said something that made me think. He said, we can never take these people seriously again. Comedians, jobs are complain about stuff and when they complain about, you know, cancel culture and treatment of people and how they just went and took money from a place, that absolutely destroys folks for that. He's like, I'm disgusted. I'm deeply disappointed in the whole thing. People I admire with incredible talent would condone this totalitarian fiefdom. I've never heard of that. For what, a fourth house? A boat? For more sneakers in their collection whenever they complain about anything. And that's what comedians do. I guess they just should be complaining that we don't support enough torture and mass execution of journalists, LGBTQ peace activists in the States. We can't listen to them, their opinions on that if they've taken money from this. And I'm like, yeah, it's a bit of a John Eaton stance. It's a bit of a stick in your ass stance. But at the same time, you are starting to play a little bit with the aspect of, I mean, especially Dave Chappelle.

[Brady]

Well, Bill Burr has went over there too, as well, and he says, you think everything. Everybody's going to be screaming, death to America.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And you're going to have effing machetes and want to chop my head off. Right. Because that's what you've been fed about that part of the world.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's, that's. It's not only what we've been fed.

[Brady]

But he's trying to defend. Also went over there.

[John Holmberg]

They are proud of beyond what they think of us. They are very proud of their. This is what a woman does. They just let women drive a couple years ago, and the. They don't have a good track record. I know. It's a great place. It sounds amazing.

[Brady]

And that's the other thing.

[John Holmberg]

To me, it sounds like utopia, like some sort of heaven.

[Brady]

Bill, the other thing he brought up, he's like. And I'm thinking all these preconceptions that I have, but I'll go, oh, is that a Starbucks over there?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, next to a Pizza Hut. Right. And business thrives there, but they still have religious oppression against a lot of people that. But the point.

[Brady]

If that's the case, why haven't they caught heat?

[John Holmberg]

Well, because they're not going. Look, they're taking the money of the people. They're providing a service.

[Tripp]

They're going there for the weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Right? They're not. Starbucks doesn't want to get involved in the LGBTQ thing here or there and occasionally put a rainbow on there just to appease a bunch of people providing service. No. Dave Chappelle is already in hot water in this country for people thinking he's anti trans. All I'm saying is it's a very dangerous thing when you're playing to his crowd. When your job's opinion. When your job is opinion, and you go play in that arena, it's different than selling coffee. Now, you can get all over Starbucks for doing business with them, but then you have to get all over everybody. And you better be, if you're gonna go down that road, pretty true to what you say. And stop going to Starbucks. And don't watch Disney movies and don't watch Marvel movies and don't do anything that actually takes their money. Oh, by the way, stop buying gas. Don't wear plastic. Eliminate rubber from your life. Yeah, exactly. So you can't. You can't do that.

[Brady]

I have no idea how deep it.

[John Holmberg]

Goes, but when you're talking about the human rights aspect and you sit here and you complain here, and then you go take their money. I'm not saying I totally agree with it, but David Cross made the best point as a comedian. When Dave Chappelle gets back on stage and makes a trans joke, it's fueled now because he went someplace that would say, and he took that money saying, we hate him, too. He's. He's. And he doesn't. But it sure doesn't look good.

[Brady]

But that trans joke was from a bit years ago, special.

[John Holmberg]

He's moved on since then. Maybe. No, he hasn't. Because the last hour he did was about how he shouldn't do trans jokes anymore. And he made a. It was great, but it does kind of. I'm not. Again, I'm not saying I'm 100% on David Cross's side, but that's the best argument I've heard against it because. Because comedians jobs are to come in and go, oh, that's ridiculous. And we need to do that. How many of them come in here and start telling us how things need to work? They all get political and they're like, I hate Trump, or I love Trump, or I hate this and I love that and I hate this. And then they go over there. It's like your political opinion just went away. You can be bought. And that's a very true statement. But it would only be the John Eatons of the world that would stop going to comedy shows if Dave Chappelle was in town, because you don't have a stick in your ass. The Saudi Arabia. Arabia thinks just. It's what we. But what would. What would you do again? What would you do? Saudi Arabia offers you. Me, I make jokes about everything, but I go over there, and if I've tried to take any sort of moral stance on anything, it goes away the second Saudi Arabia pays me.

[Brady]

Take a look in the mirror as a country, more or less. Have we done stuff as America?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, but that's, you know, that's going down the road of. But if I did it in a few different picture. But again, it's the, that's the thing when your wife says something and she's got a legitimate beef with you, so you bring something up from years ago. It's just, it's a. It's a. It's a poor man's argument to sit back and go, but you did it, too. It's that. So it doesn't make it right. Everybody's done something wrong in their life, so that would just basically mean we're always going to argue. But again, if I tried to take, like, let's say I'm, you know, I'm big on the dog thing and I'm huge with dogs, and I'm, you know, I'm all for, like, you know, fighting against anybody who wants to hurt animals, and not to a PETA extent where I think they've capitalized on it financially, but like, literally, truly a heartfelt feeling of like, I don't want this to be a thing in this world. And then Mike Vick and I go to Saudi Arabia or China, and we're working for some coat factory that makes. And I'm taking money from them, or I'm doing a radio show and I'm getting paid by the people that make coats out of German shepherds in China. Yeah. Everything I've said goes to nothing, joke or otherwise. Every. Every bit of me has turned into, oh, that's. That's the definition of sellout. Not when Led Zeppelin gives Cadillac a song. Although it can be argued that it's like, oh, I see. They just did it for the money. They never meant it. But when you're taking political or opinionated stances on stuff and then throw that away for cash, David Cross is right. You come back and the argument against you, not from everybody, but from people who are like, you can't do that anymore. You took Saudi Arabian money from the actual government. You can't have that stance anymore. You can't tell us, this is how you feel. When we know for a fact that for enough money, you won't feel that way anymore. Marc Maron's quote was great. And it was. Who was it? It was Shane Gillis. I'm not going over there. And they kept throwing more money at him. He's like, I'm not going over there. And he told his agent, stop calling me from. With every offer, because eventually they're going to hit a number that's going to make me go, okay, I have to do this.

[Tripp]

Everyone can be bought.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Tripp]

It doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

But when have a moral stance, the person offering you is like, I don't take their calls anymore. Don't. Don't hear it. Yeah. Because if you start throwing, you know, well, how about 50 million? Shane Gillis, you're the hottest thing going. And you sit back and, oh, it's against my morals. But this changes everything. This is generational wealth. Now my kids. Kids don't ever have to work again. If I do this one thing. If I just put. And to his credit, he said, I can't do it.

[Brady]

How many artists in the past have been taking money from oligarchs, you know, birthday parties or private.

[John Holmberg]

But it all depends on the artist. If you're looking to point fingers. If you're just. Yeah, but you're. You're making it this big black and white thing. If you're a person who just sings and you've never really gotten to the arena of like, here's I'm. Here's my stance on this. You're just a singer. You're like, this is what I like Michael Jordan. You say there's no, you know, there's no red and blue Republicans. Money is green, too. It all spends the same. If you've been neutral on all that stuff and stayed centered and, like, I'm never really going to take a stance here, and I'll have that be personal to just me. Yeah, we can do it. You're not selling out. You never, you never took a stance. But if you're just like a singer and you're like, I'm here to entertain people, fine. But if your whole entire career was based on opinions about this and you've taken shots at the States and treatment of that, or you've. And Dave Chappelle's done that. He's brilliant about, like, here's what I think of this situation and Medgar Evers and, and the kid in that. He did a whole hour that was more of a philosophical talk than it was a comedy routine. It was great. And it was. But then you go over there and you talk. I mean, you talk about the mistreatment of people here. And then you go over there and then your argument would be, well, America does it too. It's like, yeah, we're clearly not doing it now, though. Not to that degree. It does, it does. It does offer that argument. I'm not saying I'm, I'm leaning into it, but that was pretty strong on David Cross's part.

[Brady]

Bill Burr said they softened their rules on the comedy that they do. There's two. Only two things they couldn't joke about. The royals in religion.

[John Holmberg]

All right, so as much as, yeah, as much as I've knocked religion around and they get me over there and they're like, one thing you can't do is ever make fun of our religion. Like, I'm going to make fun of your religion. I think it's ridiculous. I'm not going to do it. It. Because, hey, it's not worth it to me to, like, get arrested.

[Brady]

Well, you probably wouldn't do that in the room full of people that. Leaving that religion, though, reading the room.

[Tripp]

But on top of that, the money you're gonna offer you, it's like, man, I can talk about something else.

[John Holmberg]

I'll suck it up for 24 hours. Yeah, right. But if they gave me a job as a morning show host in Riyadh. Good morning, Riyadh. It's a great day. A lot. Thank you. I'd be like, you know, I'm the first to admit it. Like, for $100 million, I'm like, I'm going to join the church. I don't have to actually believe it. I just play the part. This guy Christopher says if your family went to Saudi Arabia as a kid, your sister probably would have been arrested or killed or something. Missed opportunity. Well, that's kind of cruel. But yeah, you're right. You could still be in some sort of jail over there.

[Tripp]

Did the, we did the math here. You're talking, your dad's buddy made it what, a buck 75 to go over there. In today's money, it's three quarters of a million dollars a year.

[John Holmberg]

750. Brady was right on it. Nice job. Yeah, I watch a lot of those old game shows and when they give away five grand and like 75, it's usually like 48 today. Like that's amazing.

[Brady]

We did Toledo, did the math. My dad financed the snake exhibit the Ohio State Fair years ago in the 70s. His 6 grand was like, yeah. Oh, that 10 day period was 40k.

[John Holmberg]

I always kind of try to base it off of houses because my parents always told me the first house they bought was like 1975 and it was $18,000. 21 interest rate. Like they had to get a loan and.

[Brady]

Or you just pay if you can.

[John Holmberg]

That was the goal. It's like. But that's when they started to do that. You tried to pay cash, but it. You gave most of it to the bank and then you still had four grand you had to pay off in like 11 years. It was impossible. But so if you look at it in 74, 19 and that house is 1600 square foot house, probably you look at it now and the average 1600 square foot house is about 500 grand. Grant. That's insane. It's insane. But yeah, so I mean it basically makes you hypocritical. And that's the worst thing that can happen in comedy when it comes to you being an opinion. If you're a comedian who's like, we were talking John Eaton being a doucher this morning, like making fun of the jokes. It's different when you're just making fun of the jokes. If I'm like taking a stance on something and I have a punchline at the end, but it is truly how I feel. And then I go against that completely. David Cross makes a good point. And those guys that took that money, don't blame them either either. That seems that's a tough one to turn down. Oh yeah, this one says. So all those live golfer sellouts now, or is it not applicable? Their sellouts against the PGA which was treating them badly. But any of them that took the Saudi money risk, the, you know, being. Being painted with that brush of being, you know, anti human rights. But no, golfers aren't really known for like, wow, that dude just constantly talks about human rights. And yeah, he takes these. He plays golf. And if I was a golfer and they gave me an opportunity to play in those beautiful courses they build over there, that would, I would want to do that.

[Brady]

Less than half the events right here.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't necessarily mean you're for all of their political takes over there, but it kind of washes away you saying they treat people poorly here if you're going to be loud about it. So I say kind of nobody's exonerated from taking Saudi Arabian money. But again, my dad's friend Bill came back here with a nice, you know, he invested it. Everything he did was right. And in three or four years, the guy came back, retired in his late 30s, because it's like, I'm done. Like, this is easy. They paid for his house. All the money was his. His house was paid for car. Nothing. Like, you just, you got that. It was probably the equivalent of like two hundred and something thousand a year with car money, gas, everything was just yours. You don't have to worry about ever spending any of this. You just buy some food for your family and mess around. And his son Mason, who was my age, he was 8 or 9, he played little League over there. And like, they, they got a whole American thing going. And it's, it's.

[Brady]

There's two or three families growing up, went over there, did that.

[John Holmberg]

It was a big deal because they started to dabble and they had all that money and they started to dabble with us, like, and we're friendly with them to a certain degree. It's just. You can't sit back and say, oh, I hate. They treat gays this way here and gay rights this, gay rights that, and then go take money from Saudi Arabia. It. If you just shut up and play golf, or as Laura Ingram says, shut up and dribble. But Instagram's gonna ruin that for a lot of people. It's weird because I'm all for the jokes and stuff, but when you are political and then you go against it, you put a target on your back. But always remember, if you're gonna tell a joke, make sure it's scientifically accurate. Or John Eaton will come to your house with papers and spreadsheets and flowcharts and he will explain to you why the second best Thing in the world to winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics is not being retarded. He can give you 10 or other examples of why that's not true.

[Tripp]

Man, what a guy.

[John Holmberg]

He's just that kind of person. What do you got in the big board of musical treats? Brett?

[Brady]

Wake up.

[Tripp]

Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop with two locations. The brand new one right there off the Haas trailhead of power Road and McDowell. And of course the OG right there at Gilbert Road in Southern. Get all the bike stuff you need to get on the trails. And winter's gonna be coming. I know it seems like a long ways away, but it's a coming. And. Well, they got all the snow gear. It's going to get you up there, Borden. And skiing it is. Action Ride Shop. Check them out online for all the deals and fun they got going on actionrideshop.com and check them out on all the socials.

[John Holmberg]

Joey makes a good point. Says it's like Rage against the Machine playing an inauguration. Suddenly you're like, wait a minute, weren't we doing it just. It makes them look a little bit like, what is this about the cause? Here's a good point though, that says it's only foxy if you have beliefs to begin with. That's true. Yeah. So I highly encourage you not to have too strong a belief in case Saudi Arabia comes calling and who knows, the government might knock on your door and go, you're a good driller. Would you like to join us for our nuke the asteroid program? And then you get a couple million bucks for that. Would you do that? Hell yeah. Me too. I'd play with nukes for 3 million bucks. In space for a free trip.

[Tripp]

Turn on the Aerosmith. Let's go.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to close my eyes either. I'm not missing any of this. And by the way, I'm not brave enough to volunteer to stay with the nuke. I'm the one on the. I'm going. I'll be on the shuttle heading back. You guys can stay here and become heroes. You got to leave a guy to tell your tale. I'm. I'm a wordsmith. I'm very good at. I won't leave out anything except for some scientific details. Just. Just for laughs.

[Brady]

Pre worn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Tripp]

On the list.

[John Holmberg]

Faith.

[Tripp]

No more Midlife Crisis for our video games that we used to play back in the 80s. Prince, let's go crazy. Because apparently it was number one song on this day in 87.

[John Holmberg]

Metallica.

[Tripp]

Trivium primus My name is Mud. For the guy that got fired.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Tripp]

Monster magnet Aerosmith. Sweet Emotion. Because the guy wants to hear a real Aerosmith.

[John Holmberg]

That was when they were great.

[Tripp]

Unleash the Archers. Lamb of God, Mud Vein. Suicidal and dope. Everything sucks for John Eaton.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Poor guy. You know what we do need to do is a little Aerosmith. Sweet Emotion. Okay. Cuz that is a. That's a banger for all time. That's a ridiculously great song. Musically, vocally. Hey, man. Steven Tyler's first wakakai thrown at us that we all remember together. This is a. An incredible song.

[Tripp]

Just reminds me of being dazed and confused.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And it's. Yeah. Every movie this has touched. Every time it's been in anything, you're like, oh, it's. It's borderline perfect. And it's. It's 50. Keep in mind we're playing a song in a Second that is 50 years old and it still holds up. If this were 1975, when sweet emotion first came out, I'd be playing a song from 1925. I don't think a lot of 1925 bangers were still being bragged about sound quality. Exactly. That's right. That sure is. Myself to be outside the sun is shining and there's girls everywhere. And I can't touch them. I can't touch the girls or I get in trouble. Cause God's watching. Nothing like that. I found a red rubber ball and I bounced it around. That's the new one from that guy from 1925. And it still holds up here in the 70s. Anyway. This one does though. If this got released today, I don't think you can say a lot of things from 1925 released in 75 would have still held up. But man, 75 to today. This one. It's there. Opening note. This is good as they get. And then they went and they slit their throats with that Armageddon song. Borderline Saudi Arabia. This whole deal. Sweet Emotion. I'm gonna let it go. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful rock radio stat. He said fully erect. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com Time for Brady to give you all that news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report is brought to you by and scientifically accurately brought to you by allprochade.com I know John Eaton's gonna hate this, but all Prochade claims they can block up to 95% of the sun's UV rays. Now that John Eaton, Are you sure? Well, here's the thing. We have to. They can't block it for earth but just where they set up your patio situation. So it wherever their work is, it's got boundaries. I want to be scientifically accurate so John Eaton doesn't text in and get angry again. But when I say they can block up to 95% of the sun juvia rays, I'm not talking talking from the source. I'm saying where they place the shady awnings and and stuff. You got to be careful cause John Eaton will come over go. I'm standing in the sun right now. So 95% of the Rays aren't blocked here. I'm like oh, we didn't mean encompassing the entire planet. Just where they make the all pro shades. But when they do it, it blocks about 95% of those UV rays and those are the bad ones. Want to keep keep away from getting too much of that. Plus it makes a 20 degree drop. I'll have a thermometer ready for that. I'll tell you if it's 18 degrees, I'm coming back.

[Brady]

Do some recap and wait for this reversal in the cooler weather. Oh, shade down heats it up and you have your fire your heater under.

[John Holmberg]

There keeps it warmer.

[Tripp]

Are you sure John Eaton wants to know?

[Brady]

I, I. Yeah, I can.

[John Holmberg]

Is it scientifically proven that you attesting to something is akin to me peeing in a mouth? Not the nothing. Why don't you just a bowl and call it breakfast? Brady, you don't know what you're talking about.

[Brady]

According to my thermometer, in the winter. Nobody's listening to your the patio 90 degrees warmer than.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's just. There's science. That's science. Brady's thermometer. He got over at the Walgreens because it was the cheapest one.

[Brady]

It's a twofer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you get a twofer for thermometers, you got yourself a good deal. One in your ass, one on the wall. It's pretty good stuff. Stuff your Brady actually his thermometer outside is one for temperature taking for humans.

[Brady]

But it take it off the wall.

[John Holmberg]

Works up to 106. Yeah, plenty good. After 106, who cares what the actual temperature is? John Eaton does all pro shade. They can do all sorts of stuff, but they're not bringing Neil Degrasse Tyson to your house. So John Eaton. I'm sorry, you should probably just avoid ever calling them everyone else without a stick up their ass. For God's sakes, call Prochet. Dot com. That's where you go to make your whole life better. John Eaton has since text back, right? Yeah. And he's like, what did he say? He said something about he liked the Brady Report.

[Tripp]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Even though it's not scientifically. It's the least scientifically accurate thing on the planet. Where is it?

[Tripp]

I think I.

[John Holmberg]

It's least scientific than religion or, you know, astrology.

[Brady]

We dabble in that sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

What astrology? You do the Brady Report. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, you dabble in all sorts of stuff that can't be proven, but John Eaton can. John Eaton will prove it. I'll Prove you wrong, Mr. Anyway, Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello world.

[Brady]

Happy International Music Day. National Homemade Cookie Day. World Vegetarian Day.

[John Holmberg]

Yuck. Sorry, vegetarians. They're just doing it wrong.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. The voiceovers and movie trailers became rare in 2008 because the guy that did more than 5,000 of them, Don La.

[John Holmberg]

Fontaine, he died in a world that guy was fire. Pablo. Pablo did it better than Don. You ever see him at Don's house?

[Tripp]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Pablo went over to Don La Fontaine's house and they goofed around together and it was pretty hilarious. But Don LaFontaine was different and he.

[Brady]

Was blown away at the. The studio, the house.

[John Holmberg]

It was incredible. Well, I mean blown away is like there's a lot of blow involved with. Yeah.

[Brady]

That magnified it in the world and.

[John Holmberg]

It was like wow. And la. Did you ever watch the old trailers in the 70s and stuff? They're horrible. Don LaFontaine changed everything. By the way, this is the email from John Eaton says actually the Brady Report is the best part of the show. You're clowning on him. Kills my side every time. Thanks for the reply. My face hurts from smiling so much. Blow my name John Eaton. Well, thanks for being. See the stick came out. Now he's fun again. We'll get him.

[Brady]

Tetanus isn't caused by the rust on rusty nails. The rust is just a perfect breeding ground for the bacteria that causes tetanus.

[John Holmberg]

Know.

[Brady]

The current water speed record is 318 miles per hour.

[John Holmberg]

How fast water goes or someone on it.

[Brady]

A guy in a boat, Australian guy set the record in his boat in 1978. Since then the two official attempts to break.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

There's no reason for resulting people dying.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

In fact since 1930.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

People trying to set or break their record have a 54 chance of fatality rate.

[John Holmberg]

Essentially they hit 300 and said that'll do. There's no reason I'm trying to break. This is a bad idea. It's like.

[Brady]

But I got a 50% chance at.

[John Holmberg]

330 miles an hour. I'm sure the water becomes like concrete. So that's essentially like driving a drag car without wheels. It's probably going to bust up. That's insane. 300 miles an hour on a boat. That has to be so nerve wracking to hit anyway. Like it's so unpredictable to just hit a little chopper. You feel that when you're going 60 in a boat. I don't like it.

[Brady]

Oh, I got into a jet boat one time when I was in ninth grade. Cumberland Lake in Kentucky in the sky. 454 big block Chevy engine. Probably 80 miles per hour.

[John Holmberg]

No. Well, that's not a jet boat.

[Brady]

They called them jet boats.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it'd be a jet engine, wouldn't it?

[Brady]

No, I think they're jet boats because it's the way it's propelled.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Sorry. John Eaton.

[Tripp]

How dare you.

[John Holmberg]

I thought jet boats actually had like jet engines. That one over at the. When they used to do jet drags, it was an actual airplane engine attached to the back of that car and it would make that noise. I don't know how fast those things got going. But there was a limit to that too.

[Brady]

A new poll found Americans are the number one target for scammers. Usa.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they. Well, because Russia and China knows that we love convenience and easy stuff. And so the faster we take away you having to work for anything, the quicker they're going to get your money.

[Larry McFeely]

Money and being complimented. Just compliment somebody and the average person.

[Brady]

In the US deals with 25 iffy messages a week. 3 or 4 per day.

[John Holmberg]

Convenience is king. We, we will forego all sorts of money for convenience. A doordash, which I absolutely love. Biggest scam going. They charge a few extra bucks, make you tip a guy to do it. Next thing you know you're paying double. But you didn't have to move. And they'll pick up groceries on the way with your Taco Bell. What? I can double dash. The double dash was like $180 for me to have a turkey sandwich and some like a case of water.

[Larry McFeely]

Stop at CVS for some plan B.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell? Are you okay?

[Brady]

He's double dashed.

[John Holmberg]

You don't ask them for plan B. And a couple chicken soft tacos.

[Brady]

I need some duct tape, machete.

[John Holmberg]

Zip ties. One of those. One of those plastic barrels that Walter White used to melt people. And I need one of those where the acid doesn't burn the plastic.

[Brady]

Fortune magazine just did a big story on the trend in the business world is no shoes at work, no shoes allowed. So they take the shoes off when they walk in. They're barefoot. You can wear slippers, slides.

[John Holmberg]

What's Japan?

[Brady]

I was gonna say it's to avoid vacuuming. The idea is to make the office feel more relaxed and collaborative. Makes people less anxious with people's dirty.

[John Holmberg]

Ass feet walking around. Take your shoes all day.

[Brady]

Tech companies in Silicon Valley apparently been doing it for years.

[John Holmberg]

Silicon Valley is where they make the breasts. Brady.

[Brady]

Great place.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, this will get John Eaton going. Oh, I remember the jet engines at the submarine races on Tiptown.

[John Holmberg]

Learning those submarine races surprised the Bob's didn't. Bob's weren't involved back then when we were. No, it was Chuck. Yeah, we'd do stuff and people that was just all completely goofing on people.

[Larry McFeely]

Chuck was just happy that we still got the ads in.

[John Holmberg]

Well no, he didn't. Like nobody was mad at the submarine race.

[Brady]

Can I get a couple of tickets?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like submarine races. When we were giving away tickets to that, Bob's didn't get involved and went well now we're gonna have to buy a submarine and actually have some races. Like no, nobody wins. Like you don't understand the like we. I knew no one would get my question right. You didn't know for certain. Oh for Christ's sake.

[Brady]

There's a fight that happened between neighbors involving a guy's peacock. The lady that lived next door to him would go over there and feed the peacocks and that upset him so much, so he's like, stop feeding the peacocks, else I'm gonna kill him. So he killed two of them in front of her. Yeah. So he slaughtered two. Two of them and ate them. But he did the whole cut the neck off and whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Those beautiful animals need to die if you're feeding them, dicking around, feeding them, you make them fat. They're useless. List to him. I told you that time I had a peacock fall out of a tree at my parents house. It's the scariest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. And it was on the heels of me saying the phrase I just need a sign to know that I'm doing the right thing. Because I was trying to, I was trying to like get the attention of a girl and I like, did I just blow this? And I need some sort of sign that I'm doing the right thing. And then I just started to hear falling down this giant tree. It's a eucalyptus tree in my parents back. And then in the ground there's a peacock. And I'm standing like from me to you looking out a window though, and I'm like, is that a peacock? And the thing just started running around the backyard.

[Tripp]

Why did you have a peacock in your backyard?

[John Holmberg]

Neighbors evidently had a peacock down the road and it got loose and I don't know how it got up in this tree, but it just kept bouncing up the tree like it was looking for safety from something. And it was up there about 20ft and it hit every branch on the way down and landed on its feet. Looked at me in the window. I looked at it and I'm like, I'm in a dream. And it didn't simulation. It didn't flare. It did later, but it didn't right off the bat. And it just started to run around the backyard like, where am I? Where the fm. I didn't know peacocks could climb. Evidently they're good climbers because he got way up there. They can jump. Can they fly? A little bit, yeah. And that's what he was doing because it was like he was jumping. But I don't know if he was like chickens.

[Larry McFeely]

I thought they couldn't fly.

[Brady]

Well, they can get up on top.

[John Holmberg]

Of a barn roof 20ft into that tree. He was up there, so. And then. Yeah. And then we had to figure out how to get him out. Well, actually the best part about that story is he bounced into the other neighbor's yard, became their problem. I was going to try to help, but what am I? I'm not a peacock wrangler. John Eaton is. He knows the scientific balance on that. But I know.

[Larry McFeely]

Don't we have a text on that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

John, you obviously believe then that jet skis are named for the jet engines that they have too, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Signed John Eaton's brother, from Lonnie Eaton. I never really thought of that, but I guess I probably would have if you'd have told me and I hadn't seen one. What do they made it like? Jet skis. They have jets on them.

[Larry McFeely]

I think it's because they have turbine engines.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care.

[Brady]

The world's tallest bridge located in the the Gizhou province in southern China, officially opened on Sunday. It's the Huang Zhang Grand Canyon bridge. It's over 2,000ft tall. 20, 50ft and it goes over the B Pan river. The commute was two hours.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, the bridge is 2,000ft tall? Oh, it's a. It's raised above the ground. 2000? Yeah. I thought you said it was a 2000 foot high bridge.

[Brady]

There's a picture you can pull up a better.

[John Holmberg]

How.

[Larry McFeely]

How tall is that one at the Hoover Dam, the new one that they built that Megan won't go, not even close.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we flew over and she was nervous about it. I'm never going on that. Look how high it is.

[Tripp]

Like you're in a plane top of that. You don't even know you're on it.

[John Holmberg]

Because it's right guarded over it. Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

So now the commute.

[John Holmberg]

I like to tease, though. I will never drive to Vegas again unless like, like the apocalypse is happening. But that last time, I'm like, oh, boy. Because they had signs up that said wind wouldn't let big trucks go over the bridge. If the wind's going a certain thing and you were following wind right behind a big truck. I'm like, oh, it's going over. Oh, stop. Stop it. Why would we even get on this thing? I don't know. But that wind's gonna push him right off. And then it'll create some sort of weird vortex and sweep us in if I'm too close. So I was right up the ass of that truck. I was. I was drifting off of him, trying to save gas. But now it's. Now it's gonna work against us. You're gonna get us killed by the wind. If we're lucky.

[Brady]

Before the bridge open, the commute time to get across the canyon was two hours.

[John Holmberg]

Good lord.

[Brady]

Now it's two minutes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, how did they used to do it? Rope bridge.

[Brady]

You traverse your way down.

[John Holmberg]

They built that wall and they even put a bridge up over that thing for all of it.

[Larry McFeely]

3,000 years.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ. China, get on the ball. The most impressive structure ever built and you won't put a bridge over a Jordans or. What's a good point? You make strong points. I gotta keep. They don't make them anymore. But just in case. You don't live there, so don't worry about it. Holberg's morning sickness. Holberg's morning sickness. 28. Can you. Holmberg's morning sickness. If I want to get to the other side. What if my Jordans are over there? It's going to take me months to get over to that other side. Build a bridge. China, come on.

[Brady]

This is pretty amazing. American just won the biggest cheese competition in the world. Emilia de Oberon is a cheese expert who studied at the Philly Cheese School. It's real place.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Yeah. No One was questioning legit. Nobody was. Nope. We assume that you're gonna know that stuff.

[Brady]

She competed at the cheesemonger Olympics in France last month. It included a written test, blind cheese tasting and cheese sculpting event.

[Larry McFeely]

Is that a dream of years? Blind cheese tasting.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, could you imagine before Brady decided to start dying right in front of us, if he was offered blind cheese taster job, he'd moved to Saudi Arabia. For that. I get to taste devil's cheese over there.

[Brady]

In Saudi Arabia.

[John Holmberg]

They just one rule. I gotta be a Muslim. Are they paying you?

[Brady]

Not money in cheese in wheels.

[John Holmberg]

Wheels of cheese. I'll be fine. The Philly cheese school offer classes.

[Tripp]

She's the first American to win cheese.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Larry McFeely]

Pretty sure Brady knows how to serve cheese.

[John Holmberg]

No, he doesn't.

[Larry McFeely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

It's half gone by the time it gets to you know how to serve it to himself.

[Tripp]

Oh, it's a Brady school cheese to meet you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. They even say cheese thing.

[Brady]

How much?

[John Holmberg]

Let's see. Do they take trays? I'll swap out some sauce to get into that program. Look at that. Look at the pig eating the cheese. Nick. That's their model.

[Tripp]

Get cheese.

[John Holmberg]

They even took. They even took her and put makeup on it and did its hair and acted like we were going to be impressed.

[Tripp]

90 bucks per guest for cheese basics.

[Larry McFeely]

90 bucks a crack.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I love cheese, but I'm not. I don't need a school for it.

[Brady]

It's more online.

[John Holmberg]

More online as well, Right?

[Tripp]

We can get you a gift card for your birthday.

[John Holmberg]

It's coming up February. We'll send Brady to Philly.

[Brady]

A week in Philly.

[John Holmberg]

Come up here, have some cheese. Get some water up there and some cheese. Gave it whit wit. That's what you want. The whit wit. You got to get a whit wit.

[Brady]

Put a blindfold on me.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. We're giving to Cherry Hill and get ourselves a whitwit over. Genius. Is your accent getting more muddled? Yeah, it gets real tough right here. You can fly. You can fly.

[Brady]

I got a couple cheese and feelings.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they sell shirts about the cheese.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, I'm getting you that handbag.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my. Yeah, and you know, it only holds one thing. Wheelchair loads of cheese.

[Brady]

What happened?

[John Holmberg]

That is just a full of cheese and feelings as a shirt there.

[Brady]

Full female right there.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about?

[Brady]

There's no. It's not appealing to a man.

[John Holmberg]

Why would a man wear a shirt that says full man? Why would a man wear a shirt that says full of cheese and Feelings. There you go.

[Tripp]

Here's a man shirt.

[Brady]

This school's not.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because it's a chick thing, Brady. To want to learn to serve cheese to people. People. You put it on a thing and you put it down. If nobody likes it.

[Brady]

Producing champions right now. Cold metal.

[John Holmberg]

I've never once gone to someone's house and said I didn't have much fun. But the cheese service was impeccable.

[Brady]

Then. If you're a guy, you're going there with nothing but Philly.

[Tripp]

You think Tripp went to the cheese school before he brought over his big blouse.

[John Holmberg]

Is this good? And then the guy at Whole Foods goes, I don't know. You gotta eat it to know. I'll take two.

[Larry McFeely]

And then he brings it to you guys and you tell.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, then we tell him and we have. That one was good. It's a test. And some of them don't get eaten. Is he full of cheese video?

[Larry McFeely]

He is full.

[John Holmberg]

I am filled with cheese and emotion. I'm so lonely. Matter trip. I don't know. It's the emotions. I get it. When I have a bag o cheese.

[Brady]

First videos I call the big balla.

[John Holmberg]

All right, there's a guy on. Oh, my God. That's his ball sack. I thought it was his other leg. Whoa. Oh. It looks like a boulder. And it's got, like, road rash. You'll hurt your foot. What is that, about three feet? Feet? Maybe two and a half feet from nuts to ground. Yeah. And then. Yeah.

[Brady]

Iron balls.

[John Holmberg]

Patel. It is a. That is a beanbag. He's got his legs spread open like he's doing the splits. You could put a five year old on that and he wouldn't touch both ends. And I don't recommend if you've got a huge ball bat bag to put a five year old on it. That wasn't my recommendation, but yeah, Johnny.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, if you're curious, he does have his banking information if you'd like to.

[John Holmberg]

Join.

[Tripp]

All that bad. He keeps, like, patting it down.

[John Holmberg]

For what? He's not putting any lotion on it. And he doesn't look to be interested in getting rid of it.

[Larry McFeely]

Says the translation. Says, please share video, brothers. Won't you share, brothers, won't you share 1.5 lakhs of help, brothers? Many, many, many thanks to all of you brothers.

[Tripp]

You know how much gold bond it takes to cover that sack? That's why he's got the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you got to hire a guy.

[Tripp]

To do the back.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. He's not reaching all of that. That's Pretty close to how I am, though. I'm not gonna lie.

[Brady]

Next one's a workout video.

[Larry McFeely]

Half year inseam.

[John Holmberg]

I think if I live another 12 years, it'll be that far down. Wow.

[Tripp]

You're gonna wear MC Hammer pants and stuff? Because that sack's hanging that lower.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm gonna do like that guy did. Just walk around with it, make people uncomfortable. Just. It's gonna be out dragging on the sidewalk.

[Larry McFeely]

And you have your own car.

[John Holmberg]

Calloused. Oh, turns out weird. Purple, black. Been outside too long. I don't think it was meant for the sun.

[Brady]

Next one's a workout video. The guy's on the crossbar trying to do the, like, atomic sit up, curling up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's got his legs across the top. So he's hanging upside down. Yeah. And he's trying to do a sit up. He's in good shape. Oh, he fell off the bar and he landed directly on the back of his head. Neck not ready for the. For the. The. Oh, yeah. The cavs gave loose on the bar and just slid him right off.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't think.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he just. I think he might be too moist. Should have towed down. He slides off of it. Oh, my God. Anybody landing on their head doing something is bad.

[Brady]

Last one's for Brett.

[John Holmberg]

All right. In water. Us. Oh, what the Brady. Oh, God. All right, I'll explain this to the people. You son of a. So it. It wasn't a waste of time. That was a good twist. That was. That was a.

[Brady]

You should. That is. That's good.

[John Holmberg]

That is. No, it was like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. I did not see that coming. So it's a. A big bulldozer or something dropping a bunch of. A bunch of boulders into some quarry water. And right before the thing hits the water, it cuts to some unibrowed Indian with a big old snot rocket hanging out of his nose, and he grabs it with hand and he eats it. And then he opens his mouth and there isn't a tooth to be found.

[Brady]

All clean.

[John Holmberg]

Let's see it once again. Now that we all know. Oh, God. What happened when you dropped 7,000kg in water? Oh, man. Why does that happen? Man, that got me. Damn you. It's the last thing I expected. You know what we should do with that one? That should have been a. What happens next? Always remember that, Richard. What happens? Pause it right before the twist and then see if we can guess it. If you've got any of those today, do a pause for what happens next. That's a fun game because the last thing you'd have guessed is Pakistani boy eating his own snot. The last thing.

[Brady]

There's a couple of those.

[John Holmberg]

Not. Not a soul would have guessed that. That should be your new twist because you have so many of those. I want to play him that I. Dopey twists. Well, you catch crap because so many of them are dumb. But if we played the game, what happens next? And I say, okay, a Pakistani boy eats a muffin with his ass. And I'm like, it's a. I don't. I know I'm going to get in trouble for this because it's not for the people. It's a million dollars for somebody in the room to guess what happens next and get it right. Especially if, I mean, had you said, hey, Brett, what do you think happens next? Know, Middle Eastern kid, poor, no teeth, blow snot into his hand and then eats it. Oh, my God. You got that from that rock quarry. Drop and taking a shot.

[Brady]

Two arms up a guy's butt, and.

[John Holmberg]

Then we're gonna go elbows.

[Tripp]

Pretty common one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but not if you're watching a bulldozer not, you know, Carrera Marvel into.

[Brady]

Water that starts with jumps. Bikes, jumping.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I think what's gonna happen next is that guy's right about. His bike's about to land that jump. Jump. Two midgets are going to crawl inside of a bear through its anus.

[Brady]

Specific.

[John Holmberg]

And then, like, birth itself back. And. And the rosebud of the bear is happening. All right, let's see if Brett's right. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Tripp]

I'll start off a little aftermath from an accident.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Oh. Oh, geez. It's a girl in the middle of a street. She's been hit by something in her. Her hips. Oh, geez. They're just dragging her off the road like a deer that got hit by a car. Oh, we're sure she's gone? Yeah.

[Brady]

That's to allow traffic to continue.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You don't want to screw up commerce. And what? Oh, my God. And some reason, totally nude now. Wow. Her leg is just gone. Her head's. She got hit by something hard. Why are you getting so close with the camera? Oh, my goodness. Wow. Look both ways. We didn't see the accident, but that lady was a mess in there. And their local coroner is not exactly. It's got the hefty bag out, you know? Careful. Yeah. Nope. Just gotta get. She's gone. Drag her across.

[Tripp]

Here's some chomo justice.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Oh, this is one of those countries that handles their crimes a little differently. So they just got, oh, my God. He's got a guy in the middle of the town square, and then a Toyota runs him over, camera pants down there whipping him. Oh, they're dragging him back for another Toyota ride run.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that's what Tacomas are for, but turns out it's yet another thing.

[Tripp]

Excellent adventure.

[Larry McFeely]

Pat will add that to his next ad.

[John Holmberg]

We took our truck to Djibouti this year. He and Max are out there drone filming him driving around. We ran into a local legal dispute. Okay, next. It's an older woman, naked, squatting over a camera. Her RB sandwich is showing between her legs. She's well shorn. That's it. Brett, that was just to look at an old lady's muff.

[Tripp]

If I had to look at somebody eating boogers, you know you're gonna look at the 90 year old.

[Brady]

You could have.

[John Holmberg]

She had huge fake cans too. But that was an old woman's vagina, and those should be illegal.

[Tripp]

Here's one we've never seen before.

[John Holmberg]

A suitcase. Is this what comes next? Yeah. What happens if you're a pro? Pause it right before. What comes next? Now we're looking at at a suitcase with lots of pouches, four wheels. It looks like a nice suitcase. Brady, what do you think happens next? Have you seen this? Don't lie.

[Brady]

No, I haven't seen it, but I'm going based upon the luggage. I'm going with some guy in a gimp mask.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. There's a lot of zippers involved. Rich, do you have an answer for what happens next?

[Larry McFeely]

Somebody's taking one of those wheels or all of them.

[John Holmberg]

You think somebody's gonna have a suitcase shoved up their ass?

[Larry McFeely]

Some. Yeah, either a one wheel or multiple.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's a packing reference. And this suitcase is good for, like, getting all the stuff into a small package. So I think it's gon a midget with about seven or eight arms in its ass. Yeah, it's going to be stuffing a full. All right, here we go. A time when you're ready to get the upgrade. Travel pro. No, it's a girl in the suitcase.

[Larry McFeely]

Does she have arms and legs?

[John Holmberg]

They just cut a hole in the top of a suitcase. They call it a slut case.

[Tripp]

You never guess that one.

[John Holmberg]

She's stuffed in the suitcase and her head's hanging out of the top, and the guy is just abusing her head with body parts. Yeah, that's music. I didn't I didn't think the suitcase was actually gonna get used, but.

[Tripp]

And we'll just end with a little knife play.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Oh, my God.

[Larry McFeely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. That's a knife inside a lady's. Oh, my dear God. Stop it. Oh, he's banging her with a knife. Is it. It's not cutting though. Thank God. It's dull or plastic. But it's horrifying to see. Stop it. Make it stop.

[Brady]

Even if it is a plastic blade still.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. You don't do that.

[Brady]

We'll end there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, these tick tock challenges are completely out of hand. Holy smokes, man. Thank you, Brad. Thank you, Brady. Snot boy had my. That's that today. That wins the day. That's the least expected thing I was going to say. Some of it looked like aerial America going over Italy. This is where they make Carrera stone. It's the only place. And then all of a sudden there's a Afghani Abbottabad boy just chugging his own snot. That's gross. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady report. Scientifically accurate as ever. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully ECT. Still streaming, Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com rolling along on a Wednesday morning. Getting through. I saw this article the other day. I got very excited about it. Says electric vehicles to lose solo driver access in HOV lane starting today. So my plan for the hov lane gets even better. They're not looking at us non Tesla electric vehicle drivers anymore if they're even thinking about pulling some over. It's the E people. You have free and total access to the HOV lanes today. Turbine engine drivers. It's awesome stuff. I have been driving in the HOV lane willy nilly and fancy free for years on end and never once been caught. The $440 fine which I would be served with had I been caught, well worth it. For the last decade of driving for free in that cutting right by all you rule followers. It's best did it just yesterday. Phenomenal drive. The only lane that was open was the HOV lane. And I'm like there's no way a cop is going to pop up in this thing and pull me over. It's just not happening. So you mind your own. I did it last week during the rush hour times. Yeah, it's the only time to do it, Brady. And you act as if there was some sort of nerve in that. I mean it's against God in the Bible for you. I don't have that weight. It doesn't bother me. I can break all the rules I want, within reason. And again, you don't jackass around. You don't speed. You blend. You blend right in with the other cops. Don't have time to count passengers. They pull you over for acting like a jackass and also find out there's only one of you in the car, then you're getting doubled down. And if you see a cop and you're still stupid enough to stay in the lane the whole time, which, by the way, that's the best advice I can give you. If a cop does mosey up behind you, don't abruptly scoot over. Stay in your lane. Act like you're supposed to be there. But part of the deal was that these HOV lanes were all for electric vehicles. The express lane. And now they're finding that there's too many of those, so, starting to screw up. So now, you used to be able to drive around in your Tesla, your Rivian, just by yourself in the HOV lane. Got to have a passenger. You're just like the rest of us. And from 6 to 9am, and from 3 to 7 is when you're supposed to not do it. They don't ever look for you. And if you get caught. I've said it. I'll say it again. If I told you in January, you get to use that lane all you want, it's just going to cost you 400 bucks up front. As a membership fee, you'd pay it.

[Brady]

It's a great idea.

[John Holmberg]

It is. Well, it's not just an idea, Brady. It's the actual principle. Without paperwork or an agreement. Eventually, you'll be offered that agreement when you get pulled over and you sign the little pink piece of paper that says, I owe you $400, and I'm gonna keep doing this. Fantastic.

[Brady]

Tip your cap and move on.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. Well, you got me today, sir. But let me tell you this. I have gotten away with this. And there are some people who are weird about this one. I talked to a guy who said, I can't believe you would do that. It's just. Why? Why do that? I'm like, do you speed? Well, I'm. Come on, it's the same thing. There's a posted speed limit sign. You ignore that completely, and you do whatever you want there, Right? Within reason. Yeah. Right. And, yeah, you're not doing any damage. You're not doing anything wrong. Say, hop over in that HOV lane. You start Driving around in it. It's no different than when you speed. If you want to take a moral stance, well, you're not supposed to do that. It's just for the. No, no. Environmentally, you slowing down in your car is exactly what this is supposed to stop. It's like, to ease traffic. Be a little. So you're actually helping out by not sitting there idling. Scooch over, get in that HOV lane. If it's open, take. Take it. The cops just giggling right now. He's like, he's right. We don't look for that. Ask a cop. So what are you doing today? Do you go out, look for speeders or erratic drivers? Or are you just the hov, you know, crossing guard today? Like, that's not a thing. Nobody's out there going, all right, you got HOV detail today. It would be impossible. And it's hard to see in people's cars. You do it today. Drive around right now. In fact, if you're by yourself now, scooch over into that HOV lane. You got 13 minutes to break the law. It's a blast. It's exhilarating. Great. Larry's gonna come running. Don't tell people that. We're gonna be paying tickets. You know what? Him and the Bob's. It's exhilarating. Every time it says a sign, no U turns, I'm like, sure, it's illegal, but it's not impossible. Watch this.

[Larry McFeely]

So Lisa's cousin has just texted in, said, please let John know that as a Tesla owner, I get a government tax credit on buying my first man mannequin so I can put it in the front seat of my car and use the HOV lane.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's dumb. You're just. You're just becoming a news story for Tulsa, Oklahoma, when they do pull you over for that. If a cop sees a fake person, he's like, all right, I gotta do something about this. Don't just drive. Just drive and be normal. Maybe, you know, if they do pull you over, you're caught. That's it. That's all you. It's the same as speeding. You speed and you're like, ah, you got me. Same thing as hov. It's like playing tag. You've been getting away with it forever, and sometimes you're it. But it's very rare. There are so many more of us than there are policemen. So get out there and drive in that thing. It is truly exhilarating because it's like. It's a. It's a. It's a very vanilla way to be an outlaw. Am I right? I don't know.

[Tripp]

Let's ask John Eaton about that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he. Yeah, he scientifically knows I'm telling the truth. There are risks. And what's life without those? So hop in there and start tooling around. The worst that can happen to you is you get the fine. And then guess what? Start it all over tomorrow and see how long your street can last. Mine's. Mine's. Literally since they invented the lane to today. Never been caught. I tool around in that thing for fun sometimes. I'm not even going anywhere. Just drive up and down the freeway once. I'm just going to 51 and hit that lane. See how fast I can get around at 4 o' clock clock and get home. That's kind of life I live. I'm a rebel. I'm an outlaw. You can only hope to stop me. Good luck. Other Bobs will call. Stop killing people to do illegal stuff. Oh, stuff it up your ass, Bob, you jackass stuffed suit. Well, if anybody gets caught doing that and they say they heard you tell them to do it, then we're liar. No, you're not. Smack your kid, somebody's gonna do it. That doesn't mean I made them do it. I can say that. I totally think people should smack their kids more often. Not a lot I can do about that. Anyway. Drive around that HOV line. 11 more minutes of just pure, unadulterated law breaking fun. It's an adrenaline stitch. It just rises up inside of you. It's amazing and it's fun. You're getting hard over here. I'm getting a little wood going on, Brad. Thanks for noticing. Jeez, so often I'm hard and no one notices. So it says. Shut up, John. If everyone starts acting like you, that lane's gonna be just as slow as the other ones. And then guess what they'll do? They'll make two more lanes. More lanes for us to dick around in. It just makes it better. Just awesome. But I never understood the argument. Like. Like you're afraid to get over there. I'm not getting in that lane. You're going 85 went like. Yeah, but from 3 to 7pm I'm not in that way. That's scary.

[Brady]

The worst is in that lane and someone's going 60, 55.

[John Holmberg]

Well, sorry about that, Brady, but it's a wide open lane and if you're too dumb to use it, I'm going right by you, slow pokes.

[Brady]

No, I'm saying when you're in that.

[John Holmberg]

Lane in the carpool and you want them to go fast. Oh, I like that. You consider 65 creeping good man. Right job, Brady.

[Brady]

60 still.

[John Holmberg]

60'S not creeping a lot of times on the 51. It's 55s the speed limit. So you're already giving them heat for going over. That's creeping good, man. It says I. I use that thing all the time. That's why I have dead teenagers in my trunk. Signed D4V.D. Yeah, that's true. That guy. That guy's been getting away with a real scam for the HOV lanes in his Tesla for a long time. But electric driver, sorry about that. You paid extra for all the perks and they're taking the perks away. You knew that was going to happen, right? I was like when Netflix said they'd never raised the price from $9 and now it's like 30. And they made a promise. Sign up today and you'll never see a radio hike. Remember when we told you that down in the fine print? It said we could lie about those things, and we did. So, anyway, good luck with all that. I'm proud of you. Also. I don't know what's going on with us. People are emailing. I don't know the story of this. This is not a celebrity I'm familiar with, but that gay porn star that got let out of jail. Did you see that?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, part of his sentence is that he's not allowed to talk to anyone under 18 and he's never allowed to watch porn again. And I'm like, well, then keep me in jail. Like, I can deal with not talking to teenagers, but not watch porn again. And so how do you monitor. Well, they have tons of stuff on his computers. Like, he's digitally being constantly. It's like having an ankle bracelet on your computer. Here's the thing, though.

[Tripp]

Get a burner.

[John Holmberg]

His way to make a living was gay porn. Porn. They can't take that away from him. He just can't watch it. So he could actually go out and do some gay porn, as I understand it, so long as it's on the up and up. But he can never watch.

[Brady]

Are you serious? With adults.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Well, he did. The gay porn he did was evidently with adults. Most of it. I don't know his story. 100 across the board, but he can still do some features. He just can't. He can never contact anyone under the age of 18 again. That's crazy. I don't know the guy's name, but it's a pretty great story, and the pictures of him are pretty hilarious. And also the story everybody's talking about as Merc Mania goes on. For those of you tuning in today, we're not allowed to play Merk Mania anymore. The legal eagles here at the broadcast company that we work with were insane because they thought that there was a chance we were going to actually give that money away. And there's absolutely no chance, no anyone was going to know after a random phone call the answer to the question. So we were never really at risk of giving that away, I don't think. And it was my money to begin with, but there are some, you know, some avenues you can't go down and this and that. So I'm like, okay, fine. And their big punishment for me was, you don't do that again. And I'm like, what? Threaten to give half a million dollars of my own money away? Okay, I won't. That seems super reasonable. Great. Well, we came to an accord there, but I got a few messages and they're all over me, so it makes me want to do it. It makes me want to give the money away more, but I can't. Not allowed to do that. They got nervous that they'd be on the hook. What if she did say the name.

[Tripp]

You'D been calling Hopkins to give you that. Give you the cash for that house.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. Today I would have had to go. You know what? You're right. I had to go. Hopkins. And get them at 1-800-sell. Now, today's question would have been, who are in the NBA or WNBA finals this year?

[Tripp]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

That was what I would have asked, but I'm not allowed to play the game anymore.

[Tripp]

We already gave it away this morning, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And now I. Yeah, the fever, it's.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know. Did you forget already?

[Brady]

Forget already? Brady La Sparks.

[John Holmberg]

No. Incorrect. Come on.

[Brady]

Indiana Fever versus the Las Vegas.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you got kid. Come on, ponies. No, no, I'm sorry. Yeah. I didn't name it after the race. Nope. It was the Aces.

[Brady]

Aces.

[John Holmberg]

The Aces are playing the Mercury in the finals, which starts, I believe, in Las Vegas Friday night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooh.

[Tripp]

Book your rooms now.

[John Holmberg]

And with that gay porn star, I wanted to play the game. WNBA player or gay porn star? And just name does which ones you could do. And then also NASCAR car or famous little person. So we'll put that together for Merc Mania later in the. And we'll give away tickets to go see Jeff Dunham. That doesn't scare our Bosses as much. We'll play that a little later. Just got an email from a guy. I don't know how you're doing this because I just jumped into the HOV lane. I go, okay, you shouldn't be emailing. I think that's bad. I don't encourage that. In the HOV lane. This one says get a blow up doll. They're cheaper and when the cops aren't creeping, you can get a little roach. That's gross. Yeah. No, I still say be a good driver and you know, try to put your devices down, but use the HOV lane at your leisure. Today, everybody from 3 to 7, scooch over into the HOV lane like the rest of the lanes are closed and just see what the. See what the world does. Load them up, Load them up and make that the traffic jam. And for no reason at all just be like, yeah, this is kind of interesting. A little experiment. Yeah, the signs are up. They say it two or more people risk fines. Well, that's what a speed limit sign is. And it doesn't scare us. So stop acting like you've got, you know, you're not some sort of weird law breaker all day long with the speed.

[Brady]

I don't know how many there would be, but the people that whole reason they got the electric car.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot. Well, there used to be the hybrid ones that they'd give you a sticker for back when Napolitano was, was in charge of stuff and she would give you that EV sticker or whatever that was. It wasn't even electric. You just got that fuel mix that was different. You could run off that weird fuel. Remember that? That was when this all first started.

[Tripp]

Well then they had propane cars.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that was it. The propane cars. Alternative fuel. That was the one. Yeah. And they wouldn't. You couldn't prove that cops are going to waste their time with that. Have you had the citizens app on, on your phone since I told you about. Never alerts you that they pulled someone over for the HOV lane, but there's been a few stabs. There's people. And I checked Chicago's citizen app because you can just.

[Tripp]

That must be non stop.

[John Holmberg]

It is just gunshots all the time. If you get the citizen app, push back on the whole map and then scooch in on Chicago.

[Brady]

They replaced the wild wild West.

[John Holmberg]

The wild wild west is like, I ain't ever going to Chicago. Like the 1800s here was Tamer than what's there. If you watch the citizen reports of Shots being fired. It's everywhere. Like they do a little bubble for where it's happening. It's everywhere. It's non stop and it's hilarious. Chicago is. It's a shooting gallery, stabbings, people, stealing everything, and then just there's a little gun emoji all over the Citizen app everywhere. Anyway, going to do HOV Lane. Outlaws don't shoot people. Don't. Don't commit real crimes. HOV Law. Get your outlaw vibe going and you'll be just fine. We got rock wars coming up in just a little bit. Get ready for it. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] It's October, everybody. It's October 1st, if you can believe it. We're 30 days away from Night of the Singing Dead also, which I can't wait for. It's gonna be fun. Once again, our Halloween party is hacked actually on Halloween this year, Friday out at Desert Ridge. And that's gonna be absolutely great. So you can, you know, do your thing, give away candy for an hour or so, then head on up there. We'll get going about 9 o' clock clock. And the costumes and the fun and the party and all the silliness that ensues with our Night of the singing dead happens October 31st. Get ready for that. We'll have all the information coming your way in just a few days as everything gets sorted for sure. Emails about people asking, well, what happened to Merck Mania today? Once again, I remind you it was shut down by the fun police that known as radio executives who keep trying to figure out why radio is dying across the nation. And then they flip out and have lawyers talk to you all day long when you do something fun on the radio. So. And it's all like. There's nothing worse. It's like. It's like chicks, well, what would have happened if that did happen? But it didn't. Why are you worried about what didn't happen? But it could have. We could get hit by a meteor or something. That's what your dad always looked at. Your mom said he could get hit by a truck. I don't know what's going to happen. Was it worth the risk? Yeah, it was great. And I was right in the end. I was right. I proved my point. Makes me want to do it again. Damn it. What if we did give it like it scared him because of the money, they thought that they were gonna have to Give away all that money themselves. And I said, I'll do it. Oh, you what?

[Brady]

That you couldn't back it up. And now they have to.

[John Holmberg]

Well, right. They were worried that I would actually. I'd run away. And they're. There's truth to it. There's some reasonable feeling that I would actually run off, change my name, go up and there be, you know, Dave Lambert living up there in New Hampshire, the Granite State mayor of something. And then 20 years from now, they'd be like, he started a whole new life in New Hampshire and he ran away from the bill. There's a chance I'd have done that. Like, if I could have seen an escape route, I'd have done done it. I'm not an idiot. If there was a moment, like, I better fess up and do this, I said I would. And then somebody goes, I can get you out of this. I'm going to listen to that guy for a few seconds. How? I can get you an id. I've watched Breaking Bad. I know how it works. At the end, you talk to the guy who runs the vacuum store. He puts you in his basement for a couple days, and the next thing you know, your name's Gene and you work at Cinnabon over, and you know, you're in a different spot, but everything's black and white. It's a little confusing, but you get to meet Carol Burnett. It's a long. It's a long way to go, but it's worth it. Worth it. You just have to mind your p's and q's and live a life of quiet. But, yeah, Hubbard. They won't let me. They won't let us do those games anymore, Bert. Not at all. Jeez. I know, but thanks for that. What was her name? Melissa. Michelle.

[Brady]

Michelle.

[John Holmberg]

Michelle yesterday for not knowing the answer to the question that could have cost this company everything. And me, too.

[Brady]

Maybe she's working, working today. Got a job.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Maybe yesterday she got lucky because she was unemployed. She's an unemployed house cleaner. Maybe she's in there scrubbing somebody's baseboards today and smiling because that's her passion. I'm sure of it. Brett, it's your week. You won last week for Rock Wars. You got anything on deck? Sure. All right, what do you got?

[Tripp]

All right, since it is merk mania.

[John Holmberg]

It's tons of merc mania. I don't even know. Look at that.

[Tripp]

If you're a dude and you're. You got drugged to this game for some reason, the girlfriend, the wife, the Daughter, something is making you go to this game. What is the song while you're walking into the arena?

[John Holmberg]

A song.

[Tripp]

What, just going through your head, man. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

At a Mercury game, what men think musically At a Mercury championship game.

[Tripp]

Yeah, any game but championship.

[John Holmberg]

Because they're all the same saying, I don't mean that. I mean women playing basketball, that is. All right, you lower that rim, you got a sport.

[Brady]

I agree.

[John Holmberg]

Shrink the court, you got a sport. It goes to the same argument as people getting mad about not using the HOV lane but speeding. I'm like, well, pick a lane here. Because you're, you break the law doing one and you're. And the other one scares you. Same thing with the women. You've already shrunk the ball, you have a smaller basketball, you move the three point line a little bit so you admit that there are changes that are necessary to make your game better. Now make the court 15ft shorter.

[Brady]

Shrink the court, you got a sport.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, shrink the court, you got a sport. Thank you, Johnny Cochran. And then you drop the nets down a foot, nine foot rims on a 67 foot long court. You got yourself and cut out two of the girls. There seems to be four too many on the court at all times. So you go three on three, shrink it, drop the nets down to nine feet. And then I think you could do it with four. There's always two on the floor that aren't very good at the game. It's kind of like majority of the.

[Brady]

Time, if you go to three, it's gonna, majority of the time is gonna be two on two. Yeah, but always be at least two on the floor.

[John Holmberg]

Right now, five on five is three on three. So if you cut some dead one, get rid of two of them, drop down to nine, you'd have more open lanes, you'd have a, you'd have a, It's a better game. And I think they're going to come up with, I said that's a sport. This WNBA thing is a mess, terribly awful, boring. And no one ever calls it that. If you ever watch one of the games this week, give them some ratings. Watch one of the games and when somebody throws an airball or just falls down for no reason, listen to what the announcers say because they've, they've been told to sell you that. It's never bad. And air ball is like, oh, good defense. What, what did she make a face at her? She was four feet away. She playing basketball? Was there an insult? But I will say this about the ladies game that Many women doing the same thing at the same time is inevitably going to cause a couple of them to hate each other. They get physical and mean. It's the same as if you got 10 ladies at postino. When the bill comes, there's probably gonna be some hair pulling and a little arguing. You can't get that many women doing the exact same thing to stay on the same page for two hours. There's gonna be some fighting. They are getting physical. One of them just put out a whole. The one from the losing links team just put out a whole video basically saying that the commissioner sucks and the commissioner's a lady. And they're like, I talked to her, and she's not doing her job. I'm like, this is exactly what I expected to happen. Happen. You get a man commissioner in there, and he starts in there, starts infiltrating or implementing some of these moves. Pretty solid. All right, I'm going to go ahead and ban bulls on parade for Brett's suggestion.

[Brady]

Well, that.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. But a man's. A man's feelings about walking into a WNBA game because he's trying to appease a girl or a daughter or stepdaughter would be even worse. Unless it ends like a pornhub video. Your step lesbian. I don't know what kind of attraction I would have to have to somebody to make them say it means a lot to me to go to this WNBA game with me and still not want to break up with them. If Matthiah was into it, would you go with her? No. Cordell or Cordell. Yeah, it's you.

[Brady]

You would be there.

[John Holmberg]

Brady would go with Kirby and then come back with that horse. It's not bad. I was practicing. I was entertain.

[Brady]

Would three stars I'd call that.

[Tripp]

Michelle brought on the west side even though she's unemployed. I'll take that over going to a.

[John Holmberg]

W. She ain't going.

[Brady]

Gotta tell you, there are some pretty amazing layups.

[John Holmberg]

I was entertained. You would say that if Kirby liked it, you go with me. We'd make fun of it the whole time. Because the true you would be there.

[Brady]

You're wrong.

[John Holmberg]

You. If Kirby loved the wnba, you'd be.

[Brady]

Going, oh, I'd have to take her.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. And you'd come back.

[Brady]

You know what?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I would. That's what you said.

[Brady]

I've become kind of a fan.

[John Holmberg]

If the thing is, is that Kirby loved it a ton. You would break her heart if you were saying I hated it. So I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't have kirby listening to the show and have you go, I went with kirby. It sucked. You would come back and on the air go, I was entertained. And you'd stamp down your true feelings because you don't want to hurt her. Yeah, she was brady. Yeah.

[Brady]

We took her to dan tdm.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And you said not bad. It's weird. You didn't say it sucked either because she liked. Liked it.

[Brady]

I was blown away at the the positive.

[John Holmberg]

It's my point.

[Brady]

No, the line for merchandise in the show is really just kind of weird.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she's in school now, so I know you'll say anything. You'll tell the truth now. But you weren't gonna felt I went to that show with kirby and it sucked. I hated the whole night sucked. You're not gonna do that.

[Brady]

She knew about wnba.

[John Holmberg]

I was entertained. Look away. Yeah, you did a good job training her to not like great work. All right, we'll have rock war [e-mail] you can text 97936 our elections coming up next. It's 98 Holmberg's morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. It's time for this week's battle. God damn it. Musical supremacy is known as rock war. And it's brought to you by our friends. Sorry, I've got microphone issues at Mo Money Pond. Short or long term collateral loans from $10 to over $100,000. No credit needed and top dollar paid. With the entire process just taking several minutes. Mo money pawn.com Brett had to leave. Larry is going to sit in for him. Brett got some. Brett's got some family stuff brewing and he had to run. He got a. He got one of those calls. I'm here to represent Brett. That's right. And we're hoping. Hoping that our buddy Brett, who has been by the by a five year ray of sunshine we did not expect for him to be. Oh, yeah. And has rapidly become one of our favorite human beings alive. It's going through a little bit of a time there.

[Brady]

Tough.

[John Holmberg]

Had to take off. So we're rooting for him and everything that's going on. Go get him, buddy. Yeah. Definitely thinking about Brett right now. There's a few seconds ago everything was just fine. Not so much. We'll keep you up to date on what we know and I want to say anything until we know everything. He's out there. He sped out of here. He. And he should. But his topic this week was if you're a guy wandering into the wnba finals. And you don't want to go, but you've got a daughter or a girl that wants to go, and you're just appeasing her needs. The song that runs through your head the entire time to kind of get you through the whole deal. Brett would normally pick between all the three of us who would like to go first. But since Larry mcfeely sitting in for Brett. Welcome, Larry. And I'm just going with Brett's pick anyways. That's right. Well, yeah, that's what we're going to do. So then you have to pick who. Would you like to go first? Sure. All right. Larry can go first. Go ahead. You got to sell the song. Why?

[Larry McFeely]

Tell him the topic.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. I did. It's. If you were going into a wnba game as a man. Yes. It's going to be very difficult. And I know you don't care for sports ball. Not so much. But if you were drugged to this event, you'd realize, you know what? This is the time that Larry and I can relate on sports. Sports. I don't want to go to this either.

[Larry McFeely]

He said drug to this event, not drugged.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. I taking drugs at drugs. Which Larry would love, but it's something a normal human male would not want to do. But he's being forced to go by maybe work a woman he's trying to have sex with, which I wouldn't want to have sex with any woman that was into that or like your daughter, it would still stink to go. Larry, what did Brett choose as his song? You would just have to commit suicide. All right. I don't know if that's how he'd sell it, but. All right. At that point, with ozzy's suicide solution. So this is rolling through your head the whole time. The only. The only way out of this night I can't do it is a suicide. I'm going. It's a good song, too. When did this come out? 80 something. We played this on the day ozzy passed. Yeah. You were ready for that. 81 or 2. Didn't a black label cover this, too? Suicide messiah. I know that. All right, sure. At some point they played it. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. All right. Well, thank you, Brett. Larry, excellent choice. Blair, would you like me or Brady to go next? Brady. Brady. All right, you go ahead.

[Brady]

Mine. The first song came to mind because if you're going on a date or you're going with your wife, there's only one reason you're going then the nookie doing it.

[John Holmberg]

For the nookie, I often brought up the daughter.

[Brady]

I took that out of the mix.

[John Holmberg]

You're trying to get laid by a WNBA fan.

[Brady]

Why else are you going?

[John Holmberg]

I would become a monk before that would be a quest of mine.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, Larry's going to commit suicide.

[John Holmberg]

That's a better solution. Not gonna be in the game. No, no, you're fine. Rather than.

[Brady]

That's how bad the drought is.

[John Holmberg]

You are in a drought. You have tapped the wnba.

[Larry McFeely]

Sure, I'll take you to a WNBA game.

[John Holmberg]

Man, am I getting some how.

[Brady]

No, you're not even. You're not even extending that. She's like, I want you to.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's. She's saying, you want to come with me? And you're like, this is my only option. I have got to get to the gym and start learning how to be a better me. Like this. This is my fastest way to get laid. And I have tapped into the barrel of WNBA fans, and I have to pretend to like it. I'm willing to pretend like a lot of stuff. And in order, those things would be coconut, Al Qaeda and the wnba. That would be my. Okay, I'll try coconut if it gets me laid. All right. I'll listen to your ideas about Al Qaeda and maybe join up wnba. Coconut. That bad coconut is worse than Wow. I mean, I don't like coconut either, but I didn't realize you had such a problem. Coconut, Al Qaeda, WNBA, 311. In that order. Because, as you know, my theory, Larry 911 was greater than 311. I'd rather watch that live. Wow. Again, wow. No questions.

[Larry McFeely]

Probably track the last time 311 was actually played on this show.

[John Holmberg]

We'll throw it on there every once in a while, because I'm not 100% the. You know, some people like. And I like to play music for the retard sometimes. There it is. My choice is easy. When you go to a basketball game filled with the WNBA players, you realize there's one word that keeps popping up in your head after each time they take a trip down the floor. That was an abortion. Every single time. And you want it to just go away. That's your goal, is to just. Will this thing please just go away? But it's a bunch of women. And who am I to tell women what to do with their bodies? They can play basketball if they want, but all they're gonna do is shoot brick after brick. So abortion, women's rights, and bricks. It's benfolds with Brick. She's a brick, and I'm Drowning slowly. You get the live version. That's how good Ben Foltz is. And it would just roll through your head all night. Another brick. Another brick. What? An abortion. But I can't tell him to stop. It's up to them. Brickworks. We'll take votes. [e-mail] you can text 97936 the word wars and Brett is still in play. You don't have to write Larry's name. He's just a proxy just standing in. That's right. Filling it. And then of course, you can phone [phone]. Those don't work. Actually. Wasting your time and we'll figure it out. Maybe John Gordon or some trivia will get us through this. You vote. Who will win? Will it be Brady nookie because he's trying to get laid by a WNBA fan? Will it be Brett? Larry suicide solution by ozzy seems reasonable. And of course, brick by Ben folds is mine. Who wins? We find out next when rock wars continues. Goldberg's morning. Goldberg's morning sickness. 98. Holmberg's morning sickness. There you go. Three days grace right there. Getting in the middle, of course. That's a good one right there. So damn good. I like that. Mayday. They're here in a week. Yeah, it's right around the corner. It is a rock wars in the middle of it song to convince you. Brady's talking about, he said if dua lipa wanted to take you to WNBA game, you'd go. And that is the one person on the planet that's. That doesn't count as a normal person. Every day, Joe wants to take me to a girl wants to take me to a WNBA game. And that is the only option I have for getting laid. I'm gay. Starting that day, I'm moving into the other field. All the stuff I've eliminated in the past, I'm like, well, guys can't be that bad if I have to pretend to like it to get laid. Oof.

[Larry McFeely]

Texter says. Does Brady realize how he steps in it sometimes? First he nominates his daughter to go to the WNBA game with him. Then he says he's going for some nookie. Does he realize which one of the three of them is bringing the green dildo?

[John Holmberg]

Now that's different. If I reach into do his bag and she's like, yeah, throw it. I'm like, oh, right. Larry. Brett chose suicide solution by ozzy. Tripp's already cast his vote for Brett. I chose brick by Ben foltz. Cause I Think it's fitting that it's women's rights, abortion and bricks. That's what WNBA should be. I should have that song play every instead of the national anthem. And Brady chose nookie. Cause that's his way of getting laid as WNBA player. The text came in. I have an eight. Eight. Brady has three and Brett has 10. Wow. So Brett stole those.

[Brady]

He goes to win Rock Wars.

[John Holmberg]

Who? Brett. I know. He's even got proxies and no to get the emotion card. Cuz he's got his to. What do you have on the text?

[Larry McFeely]

Text right now. Brett's got the lead over.

[John Holmberg]

All right, John Gordon. What is it? 4. Pick a number between 1 and 5. 1 and 5.

[Brady]

Number 3.

[John Holmberg]

Number 3 is Ted. Which means Brett has won it. Congratulations. It's good that Brett won today. Now Tripp won't get up anybody's ass. So we get to play the song he chose. I text, he's gonna come over here. Winner. I text him, I told you guys, you don't know anything. I. I text Tripp last night during the Dodgers game. He's a big Dodgers fan. And it was eight to nothing at the time. And the Dodgers bullpen's terrible. And I said, bullpen can't even blow this. It's easy street. You're gonna be just fine. No jinx possible. And then I checked back in and it was 8 to 2. And then it was 10 to 2. And then I looked like a second later it was 10 to 5. And I'm like, oh, these Dodger fans are on a roller coaster. Get a text back, just says, you almost again. They play again today. It's good. All right. Suicide solution. This is Ozzy. It's a good thing. And for our boy Brad, who's not even in the room with us, but there he is. You will. Love you, Bretzky. Yes, It's Ozzy. It's 98 Rock wars winner. Arizona's most powerful rock media station, fully erect. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. All right. Trip's right. That worked out. Yep. It's Ozzy right there. We're having the discussion of that and WNBA and stuff like who would make you go to that? That.

[Brady]

What would it take?

[John Holmberg]

Cannot tell you. Whoops. That's my fault. I cannot tell you how bad it would actually be that long. Song never ends. The fade on that thing's 45 seconds. Been at zero for four minutes. Still there now. Finally gone. But yeah, if your braces. Well, if I Was in a drought, a girl could get me. Yeah. What kind of drought are you in? Like, you would be the most dis. You'd be the most depressed. No WNBA fan's going to try to take you to the game. You'd be just moping around the saddest man in the world. If you're in a kind of drag drought, it's where you got to take a WNBA fan out. Only talking two hours, three hours, eternity.

[Larry McFeely]

Probably less than that in the actual game. But the setup, follow up, Right. And then you got so much. 20 bucks a year at the game.

[John Holmberg]

But then Brady's made the point. He said, well, I'm not looking for a relationship with her. Well, then just get a hooker. Yeah. And you said, well, if I'm paying for the tickets. No, that just means you don't have any pride left. And the woman bought you dinner, she bought you tickets, and you're still gonna try.

[Brady]

And I've never had that situation, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Well, don't even bring it up as a scenario. It's a scenario. That's not real money. Yeah, take the money. Take money. Oh, if somebody wanted to pay me, that's. Yeah, yeah, I'll go sit through that. How much for WNBA game? Yeah. I stay the whole time. Yep, whole game. They have to pretend a lot like it. No, just got to go.

[Larry McFeely]

Man. They got to pay for the drinks.

[John Holmberg]

That five grand. Oh, five. Larry, we're well into there. We're almost at six figures before I start considering it. Wow. I'd say 75. I'd go to a W. 75 grand. Okay. And. And I'd be quiet about it. I wouldn't like if they said, you can't complain. I'm like, all right, I can do that. But I'd throw that like, at 50 grand, I'd be. I'd be biting my lip going, I gotta say, stop. Day. Yeah, Just that. Pretend you like it the whole time. I. Yeah. Would have to 75 to $100,000. Now, again, that three on three thing they got going where they shrunk everything and they made that I go to. That looks fun. It's just that particular league. It's awful. That's my opinion. Same as men's soccer. Has nothing to do with women. It's the product. I don't want to go to that. Is that the same thing? That bad? Not that bad, but it's awfully close. Get me go to a rising game. It's gonna cost about 50 or dua, lipa or deal. Yeah. Well, I mean, look, that's. That's so pie in the sky that if dua lipa 75 isn't chum, you go to a. No, not at all. It's more realistic than somebody would offer me 75 grand before Dua Lipa tries to take me to a rising game. One is possible. The other is the whole Dua Lipa scenario. If Dua Lipa just called, I've been listening for a while. I look you up on and I take you to a subpar double a soccer game, like, oh, geez, that's okay. Wow. But if you as a friend are like, man, want to go see the Rising? Like, we're not friends anymore. Larry, you don't know me. You don't care. You don't care. Come on. I got 75 grand now. I'll go, all right. But if you've got $75,000 and it's to buy me as a friend. As a friend, I look at you as more pathetic, and I'll sit next to you and then later just be like, Larry gave me 75 grand. Go to a soccer game. What's wrong with him? The saddest man in the world. Anyway, it's time now for Brady to give you all the entertaining news. What's the matter? You look confused. Or perfect.

[Brady]

I was hearing, like, cheering in the back.

[Larry McFeely]

Listener sent this in for this. Explains why John would Would go for free.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. You didn't catch that? Brady now has an inner dialogue of cheers for him just when he sits there. I'm hearing a lot of cheering right now. I must have done something awesome. Awesome. What is this? Oh, that's Dua.

[Brady]

That's what I was here.

[John Holmberg]

The upskirt shot of Dua at her concert.

[Larry McFeely]

This is why John would pay to go here.

[John Holmberg]

I can't watch that. I'd buy that for it. All right. I can't watch that. That's spectacular. Why not? There's a guy in the front row. Touch it. Yeah. His hand is hovering like jame gum. In the scene when he had the vision. Night vision goggles on. Yeah. Geez. All right, that's enough. Turn that off. That is destroyed. Can't have dual leap of upskirt shots from the front row and try to get a job done around here. Go to a WNBA game just to be in that seat. It is time for Brady to entertain us all. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. If you want to get involved in that all you have to do is show up. That's it. You get down there and you say, hey, let me take a look at this thing. Let me see what you guys got. And they'll put you through it. The first day you go, you're going to get thrown right in there, and you'll be blown away at how prepared you are just by being alive. That's essentially your only qualification. You're alive. You show up and say, I want to be better at being me. And then you jump into the classes and you're like, oh, my God, they're teaching me stuff I can use tonight.

[Larry McFeely]

So if you're saying to yourself, hey, I'm alive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. If you find yourself right now going, I'm hearing this guy. I must be alive. I'm qualified, it's like going to asu. You just need a pulse. It's great. You get out there and they'll look at you and they'll say, hey, man, you're walking around this place planet, and you're a sheep. Let's make you a sheepdog. You're. You're capable of it immediately. And the stuff they teach you. Day one, you're gonna walk out of there going, I didn't know that I'm now better at something than I. And I know something I didn't know yesterday. That's the goal of being human. Know something today, you didn't know yesterday, and apply it to your life. That's an awesome way to live. And they teach you that stuff every time you go there. You're gonna walk out of there going, I'm better at that than I was yesterday. And that's called progress. Reactdefense.com they'll turn you into a sheepdog. And how many years now? How many years? Wow. Yeah, it's been wow. I had a couple little mishaps with surgery, so I got some time off. But for seven years I've been in there banging around, and it's a blast. It's so great. And offices and things like that. Anytime you're outside, you're in. You're. You're at risk of running into a nut bag, especially in a city this big. So know what to do. Be prepared. It's not paranoia, it's preparation. Reactdefense.com that's the home of Tactical Black Radio Entertain.

[Brady]

Charlie Hunnam is playing Ed Gein in the Netflix monster, the Ed Gein that's rolling out Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Oh, boy.

[Brady]

And when film filming wrapped up, he went to Ed's Grave as a way to say goodbye to the role. He says he got so wrapped up, wrapped up in it. He's like, I had to find closure on this thing.

[John Holmberg]

That's the crazy. Jim Jeffries does a great bit about that. How Austin Butler turned into Elvis. And then like, you'd hear him in interviews, two years later, he's still there. And he'd be like, yeah, you know, I had those things like, you're still talking like Elvis, that's tough to me get out of this character. And he goes, that's such actor bull. Because like, nobody's ever played Hitler. And it's like, hey, I gotta let you know, it's been a couple years since Dave was in the movie, but sometimes he's still, oh, here he is. And he just crams on around a conductive character. It's mainly because Hitler is different. Elvis might be the coolest dude in the planet. So it's tough to stop being Elvis. Real easy to stop being Ed Gein.

[Brady]

He just made the point that prior to Ed Gein, our relationship with monsters in cinema were like Dracula, Frankenstein.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

He's like, now I'm dealing with a real monster.

[John Holmberg]

Was the inspiration for Psycho.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Silence of the Lambs, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. So many others where they humanized the bad guy. Prior to that, it was. It was movie monster makeup or zombies or mummies. They. They wouldn't show you that it's possible that real people would do this. Ed Gein's story is. Yeah. And you and I too, John. I mean, you. We were addicted to the whole serial killer thing. Oh. Still kind of am. I'm fascinated by it because I can't wrap my head around how a human brain goes there. Especially when you hear him interviewed. The one that'll get you the most is Ed. Ken Kemper. Yes. Oh, my God. You'd be friends with him. Yep. You would. Absolutely. Thought he's the seven foot dude at the office. You'd have just goofed around. I still say Ted Bundy. Bundy was a charming man. Yeah. But Kemper was smart, engaging. Never showed any signs of like, lunacy. Right. And that dude cut his mother's vocal cords out because he was tired of hearing her talk. Put him in the sink. And that was after he'd done all the co Ed killers. Right. Crazy Andy was 7ft tall and got away with like no one being able to describe him. It's in that Ed Kemper. Ed Kemper.

[Brady]

Is he the one that did the Windex inject? The.

[John Holmberg]

No, that. No. Yeah. That was that. I forgot his name. Damn it. No, he was the Co Ed killer. Ed Kemper. And then he just had had it with his mother. And it. It was very similar to Ed Gein. His mother drove him nuts. He had some abuse in the back. Was Kemper the one that hung the bodies in that shed behind the house? And the cops came and looked in the window that one time. But right before they saw it, somebody distracted him. And he had ladies on meat hooks. I'm not sure. I'm not sure if that was him or not.

[Brady]

The actors union, sag, AFTRA has come out against the AI actress Tilly Norwood. Have you seen heard about that? I heard about her yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Is she good?

[Brady]

You know, there. She signed a contract. 3 million dollar contract.

[John Holmberg]

Did she? Who signs the contract?

[Brady]

The person that created Tilly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, man. Yeah. They're up in arms about it. Yeah. I don't know anything about it, but it's good. It's the future of acting instead of fighting. Don't be Metallica.

[Brady]

The union said the Apples.

[John Holmberg]

It's going to be the future you. Oh, she's cute. She's going to be the future of acting. It's weird. It's weird looking. She's doing interviews and acting and all this. Yeah. This is the future of cinema. Cinema. This is it. Get used to it. Don't fight it. Figure out a way to make money by it. But the stuff. Whoopi Goldberg, look out. Yeah, like Whoopi was going to get any of her roles. I just want to be a dominant. Dominant Democrats did.

[Brady]

He's getting sentenced on Friday.

[John Holmberg]

They're shooting for a decade.

[Brady]

They won 11 years. His lawyers are saying 14 months, which he's already served.

[Larry McFeely]

He's been in jail that long already?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Cannot wait for that Ed Gein thing.

[Brady]

Your probation. Taylor Swift is now the only female artist to sell 100 million albums.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

She's now sixth of all time behind the Beatles. 183 million. Garth Brooks. 180. 162 million. Elvis. 146 million. Eagles. 120. Led Zeppelin. 112.

[John Holmberg]

Baffling Texter says.

[Larry McFeely]

John, knowing your thoughts on women with kids, would you go to a WNBA game to get a little nookie? Or the child's recital of the hot child's recital.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, there you go. I'm not gonna have have sex with a woman with children, though.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, that's what they're saying.

[Brady]

Yeah. So you wouldn't go to.

[Larry McFeely]

You got to go to her daughter's recital. No, the one you're trying to.

[John Holmberg]

But of the two. Yeah. Clearly the daughter's recital is the easiest thing to sit through. True.

[Larry McFeely]

It's only about 30 minutes.

[John Holmberg]

30 minutes. And you can. You can make fun of all the rest. And it's a snore. You don't have to.

[Brady]

Couple of those are almost as long.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. But all I have to do is act like I like that lady's daughter. Daughter. Because she's gonna compare all the performances to her daughter too. So it becomes fun after a while. With a WNBA fan, you have to act like you like that game the whole time. If you're trying to get a little like Brady says, it'd never be.

[Brady]

Yeah, but it would never be a scenario.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady]

It wouldn't be a scenario for a hetero couple.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about?

[Brady]

The wnba. It'd be another girl asking a girl to go to the game.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but your scenario was that you were going for nookie. Huh?

[Brady]

I was just making that point that a date night.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Wouldn't happen to. I don't know of any at the wnba.

[John Holmberg]

But you're saying if you were trying to get laid, you would go to a WNBA game with a girl who's trying to do it? Yeah, that was his scenario. Did you talk yourself out of your argument? Yeah. You talked yourself out of it.

[Brady]

No, it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's easy to answer past 10 o'. Clock.

[Brady]

Easy to answer.

[John Holmberg]

It's not easy to understand your question.

[Brady]

Because it would never happen. Happen.

[John Holmberg]

But you were the one who said it would.

[Brady]

I guess what I'm saying is this.

[John Holmberg]

Man, I love being in. I know, it's fun. I don't think you've ever seen it. Great. No, go ahead.

[Brady]

I don't think it's a realistic scenario.

[John Holmberg]

We know, but you were the one who made it a realistic scenario. Of like. You kept arguing, saying if you were trying to go, be that. Yeah, but you're saying it's impossible.

[Brady]

Yeah, I was making fun of the pack.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I don't know what's happening.

[Brady]

But the recital. You've never done the recital before. That's a taller order.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, it's not. A children's recital is a lot easier to sit there than a WNBA game. A lot easier and a lot cheaper. And you can have a lot more fun.

[Brady]

I've been through multiple.

[John Holmberg]

Right, and you get to make fun of the other kids.

[Brady]

I've been to a WNBA game.

[John Holmberg]

Awful.

[Brady]

When we went to the finals.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but who'd you go with? Timeout Timeout. Who'd you go with, you guys? Me?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Chewy, the rock and roll midget. And we dressed up and made fun of it the whole time we were there to antagonize the wnba. We weren't trying to have fun. You go to the children. Okay. Yeah. We didn't know. Yes. Scissors and nets. What? But you go to a children's recital and you sit with a girl and you watch her kid do some terrible performance of over the Rainbow or Green Sleeves if it's the Christmas one. And then you sit with her and make fun of all the other kids. Kids. For an hour and a half. Hilarious. There's no funny at the wnba. If you're trying to like it, it's hilarious. If you were the people making. You're right.

[Brady]

If you laughed at it, maybe she'd get upset at you.

[John Holmberg]

You got to be on your best behavior. It's terrifying. Yeah. Larry, let's you and I go. All right. Try to get Larry late at the WNBA game then. Don't do that, though. No, that's immediately not. You're not getting laid with. Whoops. That's it. Larry's coming up next. Nails tickets today. Oh, you got the good stuff. Yep. They're back in March, right? That's right. They just hear a week or two coming back through. All right, I hear this tour is amazing. Everybody that saw it, loved it. So head on out there and see him again. Larry's going to get you all hooked up. He's nice to you. Be nice to him. We're all done. We'll see you tomorrow in the morning sickness. Enjoy your Wednesday. We'll see you solo. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.