10-16-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona | Oct 16, 2025 | FULL SHOW (Thurs)

Hosts:

• John Holmberg
• Brady Bogen
• Brett Vesely
• Dick Toledo
• Special Guest: Dale Hellestrae (sports segment)

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness jumps between high-energy banter, discussions about the growing influence (and danger) of AI, viral (and suspect) animal videos, the pervasiveness of dark humor and text threads, relationships, sports superstitions and fandom, and, as always, a stream of outrageous, conversational comedy. Notable moments include deep dives into trust and skepticism in the AI age, reflections on what dark memes and text threads say about us, and raucous commentary about sports rituals, bad luck, and interpersonal relationships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Unreliable Narrator: Living with AI and Viral Content

• AI Suspicions: John opens up about the challenge of distinguishing real from fake in today's flood of viral videos and AI-generated content. He repeatedly finds himself “fooled” by animal rescue or prank videos—e.g., a cat dropping a rat into soup, eagles making friends with dogs, or a kangaroo boxing a man.

  “I am now a member of the Hey, I thought that was real club. And then the, hey, that's not real. ...It's almost like Sixth Sense. I'm like, oh, it was right in front of me the whole time. How did I fall for this?” – John (09:26)

• Grandma’s Nightmare: They joke about how older generations will get hit hardest by future AI misinformation.

  “Imagine being grandma. Grandma can't. This is not good.” – John (10:31)

  "Next year is an election year. This is going to be awful for old people. Keep an eye on Grandma and Grandpa… They can't be exposed to this." – John (12:22)

• Calls for Regulation: An Ohio bill, introduced by Republicans, aims to pre-emptively ban legal “personhood” for AI—prohibiting things like AI marriages, attorney privileges, or power of authority.

  “Let’s get ahead of it… make it so there cannot be any bills passed in the future that give anything artificial intelligence rights.” – John (14:21)

• Proliferation of AI: Brady mentions a 2022 study predicting 90% of online articles will be AI-written by 2026. John’s alarm grows further.

  "There it is, right in front of you. Let's take their rights away. I never thought I'd say that on the radio." – John (17:00)

Timestamp Highlights:

• [05:16] – Prank animal videos (cat/rats; eagles/dogs)
• [10:17] – News AI supercuts (MLK, JFK, outlandish memes)
• [14:20] – AI personhood bill discussion
• [16:44] – AI-written articles stats

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2. Dark Text Threads, Memes, and Human Nature

• Everyone’s Got One: John asserts that EVERYONE, no matter how morally high they seem, has a dark or inappropriate friend group text.

  "Every man has a thread of friends. It's the worst friend group of all time when it comes to...Nothing is sacred, nothing is off limits." – John (31:45)

• Purge Regularly: Advice on deleting text threads (especially before making political moves) and mocking the outrage when such threads become public.

  “Flop your own phone today...Go back into deleted files and delete again...If you see it on the news and it's like these people were texting terrible things...You're doing it, too. Just go, yeah, that's normal. That's how people behave.” – John (40:26)

• Hypocrisy & Generational Shifts: They lampoon both ‘woke’ and ‘old’ generations for acting above dark humor; claim modern bullying/hate mostly occurs online, often by teens.

  “Let's be honest. All your stupid kids you think are so angelic are making the internet a horrible, racist, fat-shaming, bullying nightmare...Back in my day, if you were a bully, you did it in person.” – John (30:44)

Timestamp Highlights:

• [31:45–33:42] – The darkest threads
• [37:34] – The “Young Republicans” meme scandal
• [40:26] – “You're guilty too. So just, you know, everybody, lighten up.”

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3. Judging Books by Covers & ‘Crazy’ Behavior

• Prejudging is Survival: Strong argument that “judging a book by its cover” is a natural, even wise, part of human survival — and immediate judgments keep you safe.

  “My rule in life has always been, I assume you're an asshole until you prove me wrong. And I want you to feel the same about me. I'll do my best to show you I'm not an asshole.” – John (26:38)

• Normalize Calling Out ‘Crazy’: Discussion about how refraining from calling people “crazy” only encourages bizarre, harmful, or maladjusted behavior, especially in the age of AI/robotic relationships.

  "We got to make crazy crazy again...We stopped calling people crazy, and then they were allowed to do whatever they wanted." – John (21:05, 28:54)

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4. Relationships, Sex, and The ‘Male User Manual’

• Simple Solutions for Relationship Woes: Tongue-in-cheek, but sincere, segment on how relationships would run much smoother if physical affection (especially oral sex) was standard practice.

  “It’s the simplest thing to make a relationship better, ladies. There's never a time... if you fiddle with the tip more.” – John (85:31)

  “There's not a guy in the world going, 'well, will you stop blowing me immediately, let's continue fighting.' It's not a thing.” – John (94:00)

• Male Needs as ‘Kryptonite’: Multiple analogies about male vulnerability, simplicity, and priorities.

  "All men have one wild weakness. You can. And what happens to Superman around kryptonite? His knees get weak. He's kind of stupid. He'll do whatever. He's under your spell. Thank you. That's called BJ's. You own us." – John (90:55)

• Feedback: Listeners reportedly send clips of this segment to their wives as “therapy,” and even Dale, a guest, agrees wholeheartedly with John’s ‘prescription’ for happiness ([148:51]).

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5. Nightmare Fuel: Petty and Dangerous Crimes

• Spray Bottle Car Handles:

  • John shares a recent video showing someone spraying a liquid on a car door handle. Cops fear it could be poison, a knockout substance, or “just” urine as vandalism.
  • PSA: Always wipe car handles, especially if parked in the same spot.

  "That needs to be a PSA. Always have little bleach wipes in your car. Wipe your hands off as you're sitting in there just in case somebody hates you, Brady." – John (70:17)

Timestamp Highlights:

• [66:37–72:08] – Car handle “chemical warfare” story

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6. Sports: Superstition, Jinxes & Fan Rituals

• Superstition and the 'Jinx':

  • Teases Toledo (producer) for jinxing his team by buying Mariners World Series tickets early.
  • Stories about famous sports “jinxes” (Bernie Mac, Cubs, the “black cat”), legend status, and appropriate team loyalty for former players.

  “Superstitions are brain effers. They're not real, but they can still mess with your head.” – John (80:24)

  “You jumped ahead of the game and you jinxed your own team for last night.” – John to Toledo (51:45)

• On Team Loyalty:

  • Criticizes teams celebrating players who left and succeeded elsewhere (e.g., Randy Johnson returning to Mariners, Emmitt Smith as a Cardinal).

  “When you don't pay a player and he leaves your franchise, you can't bring him back to the ring of honor if you never won anything with him.” – John (59:52)

• Betting & Picks:

  • Traditional picks segment with Dale (Dallas Cowboys legend) — standard, comedic, testosterone-laden segment.

Timestamp Highlights:

• [51:45–65:11] – Mariners, Randy Johnson, sports rituals, “jinx” stories

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7. ‘Disabled Cuties’ & Social Media Oddities

• Instagram Curiosity:

  • Brady introduces the crew to the ‘Disabled Cuties’ Instagram page, leading to a (raucous, sometimes insensitive) barrage of commentary about body, beauty, and online attraction.

  “I’ll be Disabled Cuties for hours.” – John (105:24)

  “She looks like the best version of Alicia Cuthbert from the early 2000s, except her arms are missing after the elbows...But she’s beautiful.” – John (100:32)

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8. Fun Facts, Ridiculousness & Pop Culture

• Daily Facts:
  • Obscure info about car logos, eel lifespans, and more.
• Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups:
  • Top predicted Halloween candy ([95:34]).
• Wheel of Fortune Thought Experiment:
  • Debates the hypothetical of choosing a Vanna White BJ over $45,000 prize money ([130:05]).
• Golden Girls Christmas Pop-Up Experience:
  • [172:02] Dale’s odd excitement about the pop-culture event.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“The tape don’t lie... Now it does.” — John, on AI manipulating video “evidence” (18:19)

“Let’s get on this now, because it’ll get out of hand fast. And...let’s make it so the gays can’t do it too.” — John, lampooning slippery slope arguments about AI marriage and civil rights (15:21)

"Judge everyone immediately... It’s being able to control that focus that it’s your internal safety measures that basically say, alright, assess the situation." — John (27:40)

“The biggest lie ever told to you is you can't judge a book by its cover. 95% of the time, you can.” — John (26:38)

“You could blow us into submission. Every fight—the key to a successful relationship...Occasionally take one for the team in the back of the throat. And that dude is subdued. It’s over.” — John (86:35)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• AI & Viral Fakes: [05:16] – [20:51]
• Text Thread Hypocrisy: [31:45] – [40:26]
• Judging ‘Crazy’: [21:00] – [28:54]
• Relationship Therapy (BJs): [85:02] – [94:00], [148:00]+ (with Dale)
• Car Handle Nightmare: [66:37] – [72:08]
• Sports Jinx Commentary: [51:45] – [65:11]
• ‘Disabled Cuties’ Bit: [100:05] – [105:52]
• Wheel of Fortune BJ game: [130:05]

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Final Thoughts & Tone

The episode weaves irreverent, hyper-cynical, but often incisive takes on society, mixed with local flavor, sports minutiae, and dark comedy. Holmberg’s show is at once gleefully offensive, reflective (on the future of tech and society), self-aware, and true to the morning radio heritage of “a little bit of everything, a lot of attitude.”

Audience Takeaway:
If you missed it, you’re now in on the best bits: the guys’ philosophical and comedic approach to a world rapidly changed by AI, viral memes, political and private hypocrisy, and the eternal male desire for simplicity and (physical) satisfaction. You also get the usual dose of unapologetic sports rants and local humor.

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For More:
Catch Holmberg’s Morning Sickness weekdays 5:30–10am on 98 KUPD.

Transcript

[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

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[John Holmberg]

Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. It is 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name is John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. And off we go for another day in paradise. Here. Perfect. Outside? Absolutely. But I'm starting to feel the twinges of those fall allergies got me this morning.

[Brady]

Had to put a jacket on last night.

[John Holmberg]

We're wearing coats. It's nice because it's four degrees in the studio because the air conditioner only works here when we don't need it. Saddam's palace is so weird. We have such a strange building. Hold on.

[Brady]

That's why they'll come in and like, oh, the temperature's fine here. AC's working great.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. No, that's not wrong. I don't know why you guys are complaining. Have you been here in the summer? We'd never come in. It's a sauna. It's a greenhouse anyway, so. Yeah, but it's great outside. If you're trying to get out there, go get them. We're just a few minutes away from me giving you code word number one. You can put it in the app. Take all that money we've got in the app. You'll be taking it in the app in about 14 minutes. I'll give you the word for you guys to start your day. And the participation is exceeding expectations. You guys are crushing it. So keep it up because tomorrow we do our first drawing for somebody to win the cash. God, that would.

[Brady]

Does the drawing happen during our show?

[John Holmberg]

No. I don't know.

[Brett]

He's up this early?

[Brady]

Yeah, you know, like at 10 o'. Clock.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It would be great if we could, like, celebrate with the person, but I don't think we do that anymore. I think you just quietly get a phone call from Rudy. Rudy, probably.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. Larry and Rudy aren't waking up this early.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you what, I like Rudy, but I think I'd rather just forego a thousand dollars than talk to Rudy on the phone. Because that dude, I can't imagine his phone conversations. Like, Rudy's in person. A person that, like, you're talking to on the phone. There's weird pauses, there's just staring. Okay, I guess we're done here, Rudy. See ya.

[Brady]

It'd be really quiet.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe we should have Kevin Berry call Kevin Belly. Yeah, I call him Kevin Belly because he's Asian. I don't think you can say his own last name. He was adopted by the Berry family. The bellies. I'd say, I don't know. I don't know his story. I'm making a lot of assumptions there. But if I told you we should have a contest here and say, all right, for a mil. Oh, I'm not allowed to do that anymore. For a million dollars, wander through our building and find Kevin Barry. Who do you think is Kevin Barry? Cause there's no names or anything. You'd have eight choices before you rolled over to the Asian guy's desk and said, well, this is clearly Kevin Barry. No way. That's the least Asian name I've ever seen. On an Asian guy. And Kevin looks like. If you saw Kevin at, like, a store, you'd. Your first thought would be, he doesn't speak English.

[Brady]

Like, he's not going to understand me.

[John Holmberg]

He's authentic. And then he starts talking. He's a Buffalo Bills fan. Like, Kevin, you are screwing up everything in my. My bigoted brain needs you to have an accent. You need to say that your family escaped something and landed in Toronto. That's what I need you to say. But, you know, he doesn't.

[Brett]

What's happening, hot stuff?

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was the thing he said about. And he's funny. Kevin is a very funny guy because he's like, I can't tell all you white people apart, so it's no big deal if you start. And it's true. Speaking of not being able to tell, Brady, I'm not an old man. I'm. I'm a. Still fast on my feet. My brain still works well. But I am now a member of the Hey, I thought that was real club. And then the, hey, that's not real. And it is. I watched a video yesterday. Have you seen the ones where the cats are dropping rats in people's mouths when they sleep?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And it's horrible. So I watched one the other day, and the cat took a. It killed a rat and jumped up on the stove and dumped it in a pot of soup. It's real.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

That one actually happened. And I'm like, no, these are those cat videos. And I had to research, like, wait a minute, this isn't real. And sure enough, it's real. The cat is killing rats. And then it.

[Brady]

I think the cat's name's Wendy.

[John Holmberg]

Wendy. You're right. That's exactly right. Wendy went and found a rat and then dumped it in the family soup that they're making soup. You know, you've gotta be so. Well, first off, let's just say, what are you, Oliver Twist? Or Charlie's parents from the Willy Wonka who's got big vats of soup going and rats running around the house? That is so 1300s. It's ridiculous.

[Brady]

You can step outside the house and do some chores while the stew is on the stove.

[John Holmberg]

It was weird. It was a big. Like, there must be nine poor people in this house making a big old thing. What looked like just broth goo soup. And the cat went up and he jumps up on the counter, and Wendy goes over with a rat in its mouth and drops it right in the soup. And security camera caught it, so. And you're also super Duper poor. If you've got a security camera on your oven, why in the world are you monitoring what goes on in your kitchen? You're getting. Because neighbor pours are coming in and stealing your bread and stuff. That's why I made an assumption about.

[Brady]

The whole thing that the cat would get up there and you know there's heat on there. Usually they don't mess around on.

[John Holmberg]

The cat wanted it warm. His cat's hungry too. Brady. And they've got bigger problem in this story. And if I had this happen at my house where, you know, a dog grabbed a sewer rat and put it in something, the last thing I'm doing is releasing that to the public and like, hey, John, don't you have a cat named Wendy? I think I saw it on the news. Yeah, we wanted to go viral. Like, your house is full of rats and you make stew for dinner. You're. You're broke or is everything okay? People be loaning me money. I could start a GoFundMe with just that video. But I thought that was.

[Brady]

If you're out in the country, cat brings in the mouse, dumps it in there. That's one thing about a rat that's different.

[John Holmberg]

A mouse and a rat, I don't know what. I had a long tail and I was watching it and I'm like, I don't care. Your cats catching rodents and pushing them around in the. No, no. You get. You need a second job is what you need. If you've got rats in your house. In the house I can understand. Like, I live Arcadia, and you know where grapefruit trees are. And you'll see these gigantic grapefruit rats in people's yards. But they're easy to get rid of. Like, you just have to clean stuff up. They just. Just don't leave junk around. And even though, you know, when I lived in Arcadia, we had a roof rat that would run along the back fence and just jump down and eat the. If you left the grapefruits from your tree on the ground, when they'd fall, they'd have little like, rat head sized holes in them and they just. They'd bore out the center of that grapefruit. I'm telling you, you've never seen a more beautiful rat in your life than the glowing, healthy citrus rats of Arcadia. They're beautiful. I would keep one as a pet. From watching that, I thought for sure that was fake. That turns out to be real. That's on the news and that's on the family. Then I watched another One that almost brought tears to my eyes. An eagle, I don't know if you saw this, is standing at a door. And then a dog is, like, on the other side, and the guy's cameras catch it. And then the dog and the eagle go to, like, this pond, and there's another eagle trapped. It's like, oh, my God. That eagle told that dog, like, lassie, like, something's going on with his buddy. Yeah. And then a guy came out, freed the eagle, and I'm like, holy cow. This is this. And then I'm like, is this. This is real? And then I'm like, no, it's too elaborate. It's too long to be AI. No one would spend this kind of time on it.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, this eagle told that dog, hey, come help me out. And then the owner came, picks the eagle up, and it had gunk on its feet, and the eagle trusted him. He put him in a bath and did it. And then. And then it. At the end of the thing, he's like, I built a special saddle so the eagle could ride my dog. Like, God damn it. I say, that was two minutes. I'm totally in on this. And then you see an eagle riding a golden retriever, and I'm like, I'm done. And it was. Wasn't so much those videos. It was now that. I don't know, like, I'm now in the category.

[Brady]

Rescues, where there's a bond with the animal that, sure, it made sense.

[John Holmberg]

They were playing. Like, they showed the eagles would occasionally come and visit and is playing in the yard. I'm like, that's neat. How neat is that? Those eagles, you'd think they just claw that dog in pieces and. Or the dog would be mad and. No, the dog would run into it and bump it, and there wasn't a flaw in this thing. And then they go and show that he made a saddle, and the eagle rides the dog and like, oh, my God, did I just sit through two minutes of this and not know? And then. Then it becomes. It's almost like the Sixth sense. I'm like, oh, it was right in front of me the whole time. How did I fall for this? But I'm the. The news on this is. I'm falling for it already. Already. It's only going to get worse. Every day that passes, that thing gets better and better. I wish to God the mentally. The down syndrome people that are interrupting JFK and MLK and have you seen those?

[Dale]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, mlk. Given as I have a dream and that retarded Boy comes up and just goes, peanut butter. All right, Jimmy. All right. And MLK reacts beautifully. I know those aren't real, but I want them to be. But man, it's. Imagine being grandma. Grandma can't. This is not good. So now I. And now I'm not gonna be sure about any of it.

[Brady]

Like that one the other week, the mountain lion went to the bowl of candy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And jumped up. I don't know if that.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know either.

[Brady]

Because now there's a series of them where there's other animals.

[John Holmberg]

Have you seen the mountain lion attack the old man at his front door? And the dog. Yes, real. I looked it up. You got to do research.

[Brady]

So eagle came in and swooped on a cat.

[John Holmberg]

Haven't seen that one.

[Brady]

And the dog separates the eagle and the real. Don't know.

[John Holmberg]

You got to look into it.

[Brett]

It's like that video a while back with the Australian guy boxing the kangaroo to save his dog.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I would have thought that was AI back in the day, but that was AI.

[John Holmberg]

I can't do it, Brad. I can't live in this world. Ridiculous. Because you're right. I'd forgotten about the dude that had fought the camera. And they're boxing. They're like dancing the kangaroo head moves. He was like Manny Pacquiao of the ruse. But yeah, you're right. If that came out today, it'd be like, come on.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Fake kangaroo isn't gonna square up. He's not gonna go. He's not gonna have a fighting stance. And that kangaroo did. And that dude was clocking that kangaroo. Pissing him off. Like the kangaroo could take. He had a good chin, if I remember right.

[Dale]

He did.

[John Holmberg]

But damn it all, my cynicism is my strength. I don't need to be more cynical. There has to be some. A remaining factor of my gullibility has to be there. It has to be. I have to be a little bit like, of a believer in a little something. I can't now because I've the eagle and the dog thing. I'm so stupid for doing that. But. But it cut off a piece of my innocence. It got off a pizza money. Oh, this is a marvelous. It was all fake. And now I don't trust any of it. You're telling me now Michael Jackson wasn't a stand up comic on Kill. Tony, I. What more can I believe?

[Brett]

Eazy e wasn't on Mr. Rogers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Charles Manson and Mr. Rogers weren't friends. Come on. Where do I draw these lines? But again, I remind you Next year is an election year. This is going to be awful for old people. Keep an eye, Grandma and Grandpa. You think it's bad they're driving? They can't have social media. They can't be exposed to this. They're going to be targeted. This is not. This is where it all goes from Mr. Rogers and Eazy e hanging out to target old people and scare them to death and make them vote a certain way and that. The algorithms and all that. You're getting targeted.

[Brady]

How many old men are like, did Bob Ross knock my wife off?

[John Holmberg]

Knock my wife up? Yeah, yeah. Bob Ross's new thing, instead of getting mad at the art, is to paint cabins. Have you seen those?

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the best. And I've seen like nine of them. And I know Bob Ross's dad says, happy little cabin. I'm just making right here, happy cab, little phthalo blue. Ah, this cabin's great. Yeah, it's from my memory of the time I'm in the 70s and then it just ends. And he. All he does is talk about the last time he banged your mom and I. You know, it's a typical painting, the one of Hiroshima. He painted Hiroshima. And I'm like, all right. But I can't have this. I can't have my cynicism. This in doubt at all. I mean, the fact that it's now.

[Brady]

Getting to the point where I was thinking maybe Instagram schooling through that is over now because it's all a good.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I mean, we have a good day. So on the heels of that, I do have to say I am now officially in old man territory, because I saw one of your guys, Brady, an Ohio state rep, has introduced a bill to say, let's get ahead of this a little. The toothpaste is out of the tube. AI is winning. Let's get ahead of it a little and make it so.

[Dale]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Something. Non sentient entities, which basically is somebody who can't actually feel or emote for real. Like, there's no feel. A sentient being is someone who feels and experiences rather than just exists. He declared that AI systems non sentient entities, we have to ban them from gaining legal personhood. And everybody's like, we're not even close to that. And he was like, right, exactly. Let's do it now. Let's make it so there cannot be any bills passed in the future that give anything artificial intelligence rights. Let's do this now. And he started by saying, sure, you're. Because all the rest of those old people, like, that's Crazy talk. AI is our friend. It's like, no, it's not. You guys aren't. You're idiots. Let's get on this now, because it'll get out of hand fast. And. And it's not going to stop. So let's. Let's make it so. And he cited the example. Let's make it so no real people can marry one. Let's make that a law right now.

[Brett]

Sorry, Larry.

[John Holmberg]

And another guy said, by AI, you mean gays. And he's, no, we're not doing that again. That's hard. That's over. No, come on, let's make it so the gays can't do it too.

[Brady]

They'll put them under the umbrella.

[John Holmberg]

It's genius. Yeah, they'll put you LGBTQ AI. So it's. They can't hold power of authority. They can't be attorneys. They can't. Like he said, we can't put them as beings. They can be tools people use. But that's. He's trying to pass a law in Ohio, and everybody's kind of like, that's years down the road. And I was like, he was loud. No, it isn't year. It's less than that. I mean, think about it. In November of 2022, we discovered AI. Or was it 23? It might even be after that.

[Brady]

And like, wow, this is launched in 2022.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Okay. So it was late November, and you're like, have you seen this thing? And they could chat GPT and all this other stuff. And. Yeah, so I'm all for that. And that's like screaming and yelling at the wind. You got to stop the AI from being people. And we. And let's just cut off the weirdos now that are going to try to marry it. Because that's common, that you can never have a legal marriage to a robot. I'm all for that. I think that's a good idea that once we kind of divide the line, but again, pretty soon it's not going to matter. But you can have your relationship. You just can't start making, like, rights for it. Can't have rights. I'm fine with that.

[Brady]

We've hit a milestone with AI right now. Over half the online articles are now written by AI.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

A study in 2022 predicted. Predicted that we'd hit 90% AI writing by 2026.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. There it is, right in front of you. Let's take their rights away. I never thought I'd say that on the radio. Look, we've got to take this. We've got to take these people's rights from them. AI is not people. It's getting confusing, but I'm already on that now. Eagle on a saddle. What the. Come on, John. Be better. Be better. Because, you know, right now it's just for fun. And you know, it's Mr. Rogers, Stephen Hawking, you're having a great time and you're thinking, AI is fun. It's my friend. And then the next thing you know, election season's coming and the target on old people is going to be crazy and it's going to make them. You thought we had political divide now and misinformation now, just like if Facebook was too much for fake news. If the misinformation train was simply just what we were doing to each other. Imagine what's coming now. If they're going to abuse it that away.

[Brady]

Oh, candidates rescuing animals.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy. I know it's six o'. Clock. We got to do it. Yeah. Candidates with saddles on their backs. You Ron Paul, having eagles ride them. I have eagles ride me all the time. It's like, oh, my God, he's American. He's the most American man I've ever goddamn seen. He built an eagle saddle for himself. I've got video of it cue up to Lee Greenwood. Remember that the old phrase, the tape don't lie. That was an old football basket. Like, you go watch the tape. The tape don't lie.

[Brady]

Now it does.

[John Holmberg]

Now it does. The word for six o' clock is dub S T U B. Put it in your app. Go to the 98kpd app and check it out. Click on the take it in the app and then find 6am Put the promo code stub in there and you're all but entered. You're right there in there. And then we'll find out who wins money. Starting on tomorrow, we'll do another 7, 8, and 9. And later in the day, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Gotta pay attention. You gotta listen a lot. That's the whole point of this. And get that whole thing done. Stub, tell a friend and good luck and hop on there. You guys are clobbering this entire thing, which is fairly amazing. Yeah, And I love the AI joke videos. But if we could get some politicians on that to say if it doesn't make you laugh, it has to be banned from the Internet, like within an hour. If we should have a rating system like American Idol where we vote on and off AI videos with just a thumb, I just go, boo. And if. If it boos out in the first two hours. If more. It disappears from the interwebs. It can't ever be shown again.

[Brady]

It's. It's amazing how quickly it burns out, though.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brady]

Like they have certain characters like Bob Ross at this time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Okay, I'm over. Like, if I said Bob Ross, I'm skipping.

[John Holmberg]

Do you are? Yes.

[Brady]

I mean, there's.

[John Holmberg]

You're missing a lot.

[Brady]

Close.

[John Holmberg]

You're missing.

[Brady]

I've seen a lot.

[John Holmberg]

Because you never know when that down syndrome boy is going to come interrupt him. I'm in it. It's a. It's a series to me.

[Brady]

That's one I haven't seen.

[John Holmberg]

You got to watch. He showed up at JFK's events.

[Brady]

He seen a lot of the MLK and MLK.

[John Holmberg]

MLK doing stand up was pretty good. When he did a lot of Hitler. Hitler's. Hitler's kind of come and gone now. I don't see a Mr. Rogers kind of.

[Brady]

But that's what I'm saying is that window is a short window. So. The revolution. They'll keep rotating new celebs.

[John Holmberg]

Well, good Macho man Savage visited Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers yelled at him and I pissed myself. I. So long as they're funny doing the national anthem. You're trying to touch me. You're trying to get to my emotions. You're trying to hit me in the heart. And it's going to be a dog video where he does something spectacular. I'm susceptible to that. At the end, the dog turns and votes and. Or says, vote aoc. I'd be like, this is okay. That dog's brilliant. It's happening right in front of us. But yeah, let's make laws now where weirdos can't marry him. At least legally. You can do whatever you want at home. If you've got an AI girlfriend and you want to whack off to that. I mean, porn is way ahead of the curve on that.

[Brady]

The ones that I've fallen for too, and luckily they're not that long. It's. Every now and then it opens up like, oh, my gosh, this is happening. And then the animal flips you off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then gives you a finger. I had one the other day where a lion and a lioness were in night vision.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And the lion was snoring. And the lioness just smacked him in the head. And then they both looked at the camera in the lioness. I'm like, come on, I was in on that. That was real. But what we have to do is start making people who like it to the point of wanting to marry it. We have to make them crazy before they go crazy. You have to start telling everybody that's crazy behavior. That isn't normal. No, don't fly your freak flag. This is what that is. It's all the moms. My son's unique, and he's expressing himself. No, he's not. He's dressed as Braveheart at school. You got to stop this now. We stopped calling people crazy, and then they were allowed to do whatever they wanted. And they're marrying furries and they're. We got to make crazy crazy again. Because right now there's a different entity out there that's going to make everybody a little crazy. So we have to make it so it can't. So we can't have love with it. It doesn't love you back. There's an old movie. It's not great. Virginia Madsen's in it called Electric dreams. And it's 1980s, and a dude spills something on his computer, and it kind of comes to life and falls in love with his girlfriend, and she starts to kind of like the computer, too. It's not a human shape, but he says all the right things. He does all that. You think AI is not gonna woo some people with the proper language? It's amazing.

[Brady]

We got a six, seven that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we got. We got six. Put a six, seven on there. Whatever that is, just do it. But I'm too stupid. And I fell for the thing. And then there was the. You know. And the good news is it will. The side thing on AI is it will capture stupidity because there was a kid and smashing up windows and doing all sorts of damage around the neighborhood, and they didn't know who it was. And they started to talk to him, and he had something on his computer that his parents noticed, and he had a conversation with Chat GPT about what evidence do you leave behind if you're smashing car windows? And they kind of thought it was him, but they really have anything on him. And then they looked at his Chat GPT conversation. He was asking ChatGPT, if I smash car windows, like, what do I have to clean first that the cops will know that it's me? And, like, he's going through all this stuff, and they're like, you're having conversations with Chat GPT but exactly the crime we just. We just found and, like, oh, so dummies will still use it Wasn't me. Yeah. He thought he's. How do I get away with Ask ChatGPT how do I continue to get away with this? And he got it. So the good news is ChatGPT can be our friend. Bad news, too many moms love their kids too much and will allow their special little angels. But. But Braden loves this woman, and I don't care that she's real. She's made him so happy. And women hate each other, so it would be like. And women are just bitches, so it's better that she's just. She's gonna never be mean to him. She can't hurt him. And that's all moms want. That's a nice thing. Moms don't ever want their sons. I almost said tons. Cuns is one of the worst words you can almost say. It's not even a real word. Don't want their sons to be, like, hurt. They don't want their sons to feel pain. That's why we invented all those drugs to dumb down your kids and why they're in so much trouble in their early 20s now when life actually starts to get to them. They've been numbed their entire childhood with mom pills that say, no, he doesn't need a most. He's got ADD and he's. He's got anxiety, and, you know, he's never faced anything tough. It's John Holmer here. Shannon away from my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. Brady just had his windshield replaced. Toledo just had his windshield replaced. And Brett evidently got jealous because his windshield got cracked on his drive to work the other day. New Vision Auto Glass, they're your best friends. They'll fix that ugly busted glass, then give you up to $375 back, and you'll get dinner at the world famous Brazilian Steakhouse, Rhodesio GR New Vision autoglass.com See what you qualify for, then get it fixed. Call 480-210-9090. New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamond Pact. Hey, this is Sarah. Look, I'm standing out front of AM PM right now, and, well, you're sweet and all, but I found something more fulfilling, even kind of cheesy. But I like it. Sure, you met some of my dietary needs, but they've just got it all. So farewell. Oatmeal. So long. Use strange soggy Break up with bland.

[Dale]

Breakfast and taste AM PM's bacon, egg.

[John Holmberg]

And cheese biscuit made with K tree eggs, smoked bacon, and melty cheese on a buttery biscuit.

[Dale]

AM PM Too much.

[John Holmberg]

Good stuff.

[Dale]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

So now that you know you've got the Perfect girl. And that's one thing moms are always like. Is this girl good enough for my little boy? The computer can be and never really threatens mom. So lunatic moms will let their sons do this? We have to get ahead of it by calling people crazy now before they go crazy. Brett, you and I have lived our lives beautifully judging a book by its cover, and that's. That is still. The biggest lie ever told to you is you can't judge a book by its cover 95% of the time. You can. The 5% you don't. Those are your friends. My rule in life has always been, I assume, you're an asshole until you prove me wrong. And I want you to feel the same about me. I'll do my best to show you I'm not an asshole. And then that's that 5% of people you keep in your life. The other 95%, you're like, nah, I knew it when I met him. Everybody knows your body is equipped with sensors that know this guy. No, no, no, no, no. Like Dave Portnoy. I wouldn't want to be friends with Dave Portnoy just because I look at him and I'm like, mm, mm, mm, mm. Something ain't right here. He's got the dog thing. A few things I like, but he's Bostonian. Immediately, that accent makes me go, we can't be friends.

[Brett]

Guilty till proven innocent.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Not in a court of law.

[Brett]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

Put in the court of public perception. Yeah. You got to prove it to me. And I like that. That keeps you healthy. All this whole love and give him a chance thing, it's never once worked out. Ever. Brady's prince and God of love got hammered up against a wall. They put up a couple of sticks and nailed it to him. Love don't work. Judge everyone immediately. Let's change. Let's flip the script on this whole thing. Immediately judge who you just met. Immediate. Do it. Stop fighting it. I don't care how accepting and loving and caring you are. You judge the second you meet someone. The second. If they've got dirty nails, if they're dressed like idiots, if they're, you know, something hanging out of their nose, like, oh, this person. You immediately judge everyone. And then some people just dismiss the obvious signs. The red flags are all over everybody. Always judge everyone. Most of the time. People won't like disappointment. Initial meetings, you know?

[Brady]

Yeah. You can't prevent that.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[Brady]

There's no one that I don't know that does not judge everyone, does it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It Just happens. It's being able to control that focus.

[John Holmberg]

That it's your internal safety measures that basically say, all right, assess the situation. What do I got here? And assume the worst. Your body always says, are we in danger first? It never goes, this is safe as can be. You're meeting new people. It's always your body's like, all right, keep your eyes open. What do we got going on? And it's when you let your guard down is when you get hit with it. Brett and I have done Brady hasn't lucky so far, although lost a generator. You don't. You just got to judge every. Not everybody is. Has your best interest. Judge a book by its cover. Start calling crazy crazy on first glance, and you know what happens? Enough people start calling Tyler crazy. He's gonna go, I'm not crazy. And either go crazy or try to not be crazy anymore. It's like when you tell somebody you dress like an idiot. And if enough people start saying, you dress like an idiot, the dude's gonna change the way he dresses. Like, what I thought I was. I'm not cool. Or he's gonna double down and have a personality based on the fact of what he knows everybody thinks of him.

[Brady]

Or he's gonna walk into the building.

[John Holmberg]

And shoot a bunch of people. No, that's not it, Brady. It's the love people that do that. It's the love people that do that. The ones that coddle their kids and tell them the world's against you. You've got to know, girls will love you because they're all. That's the ones we're having trouble with. The ones who can't find love. Call people crazy before they go crazy. Stop telling them they're normal. The more they feel normal when they're actually crazy and the less they fit in because they're crazy, but nobody's saying so is when they snap. If a crazy person is told they're normal all the time, they think to themselves, well, then how come I can't fit in? Everybody tells me I'm normal and I can't fit in. Where's my girlfriend? It's because you're crazy. But your mom and your parents never said so. Your friends don't say so. You don't have any friends because you're crazy. And then your mom's like, kids are just unique. You let your freak flag fly. Okay, well, that's going to result in freak flag flying, and nobody wants that. Crazy is crazy. If you got a crazy kid, look at him today and call him crazy. And also, if you're in a Young Republicans group and you're loving Hitler, delete, delete, delete. I don't know if you saw that either. Your chat groups, your chat groups, boy. And that's another thing we. Let's just. Let's just clean the air here. Let's have a moment between all of us again. Like I said yesterday, all your stupid kids that you think are so angelic are making the Internet a horrible, racist, fat, shaming, bullying nightmare. And then in real life, they're like, we don't like bullying. We don't want. Shut the up. You're the worst generation of all of us when it comes to that. Because you've got something to hide behind. Back in my day, why, when I was a boy, if you were a bully, you did it in person. And if you were a racist, you just were hanging out with Brett most of the time. That's how it worked. As I grew up, Brett was like, hey, this guy's all right. He tells funny jokes. I'm not bringing him home to anybody, but.

[Brady]

And I can't tell the jokes to everyone, right?

[John Holmberg]

So now you got something to hide behind, so screw you. The other thing is, it's time for people to stop saying stupid things like, I don't have any friends I talk to like that on the. And I don't have a throw. I would never say such. I would never say words like that. I don't use those types of words. That's why Tom Brennaman can't have a big job anymore. The one line he used, it wasn't because he said homo F word. It's because with a few minutes of that, he said, I'm a God fearing man. I don't even use words like that. Dude, yeah, you do. We heard you. And you should have just said, yeah, I say all the time. And I just got caught. I got to be better people. He'd have still gotten fired because he was getting fired no matter what. But people would have been like, eh, I get it. So do I. This Young Republicans group is just. It's riddled with what every. Everyone has in their phone. With one single group of friends, every man. I won't go on and say women do this, but I assume probably, I think so. Every man has a threat of friends. It's the worst friend group of all time when it comes to.

[Brady]

Nothing is.

[John Holmberg]

Sacred, nothing is off limits. Nothing thing is off limits. I have one in this room with you morons. The three of us are involved in Another one with people who are just absolutely insane. We. They're.

[Dale]

They're nuts.

[John Holmberg]

They. We torture each other. If that ever got out again. Go back to Johnny Depp's trial and other people, quote, lawyers ever read that to us to a jury? You have to do what Johnny Depp did and just say, you know, Mr. Depp, did you at one point or another say, that's good. I heart Hitler? Yes, I did. You have to just eat it because it's on there. I don't know, but it's. Today's the day to flop your own phone and go through and delete those. Not. Not delete them from your lives. Just delete the thread. There's no reason to have it every day at 11:58pm you should go through and if it says Doug Paul, Brett Brady on the threat, just delete it. Delete it, because there's no good coming from that. And then go back into deleted files and delete again. And then clear cache and I don't know how many other things. I don't know how to do it, but I know that there's ways to get it off the phone. I don't know for sure. I gotta go. I gotta talk to Mike down there and just go, hey, Mike, Mike, when I delete Brett, Doug, Paul, and Brady from my phone, how do you find it? And then he'll go to one of the things. Ah, there's a. There's a whole secondary, recently deleted thing inside. Some other thing inside. Yeah, it's Inception. But flop your own phone today, because I know a bunch of dudes in their trucks right now are laughing, going, it's me and James and Charles. You've got your group that does horrible.

[Brett]

And you got different levels. Like, you're like, all right, this one. All right, that one goes to this group.

[John Holmberg]

No, not that one.

[Brett]

I'm writing it over to this group.

[John Holmberg]

In fact, and I'm going to. I'm going to ice him. Right now. We have a thread group with Broomhead.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And at one point, Mike Broomhead from ktar. And it's funny stuff Brett says to me. I'm not sure I can send Broom head certain things. I'm like, oh, no, no, he's one of us. He'll laugh. Like, he. And you weren't worried about, like, just to the level. I just didn't want to offend him. Like. Like, I don't know, for the whammy. Yeah. Yeah. Is he ready for the. For the sledge? O matic? Because I've got a Great one. And it would fit right into the we do. Because basically the broomhead thing has turned into us sharing hilarious. Like, it started, like, WNBA stuff, and then it's just like the women Olympics and, like, silly girl things. And occasionally, because Mike used to be a bull rider, some crazy stuff like that. And then Brett's just like, I don't know this broomhead thread.

[Brady]

Is he okay for this?

[John Holmberg]

And I remember the phrase I used, it's all right, Brett. He's one of us. That's true. And I did. And then the next thing you know, Brett's just going, take a look at his broom face. And we were dying. He just wasn't sure, like. But that was very diligent of you to make sure the rest of the group we had. Somebody had to vouch for the guy that we could send terrible things from the Internet. But it's time we all stopped acting like, I don't want to hear from anybody who emails, maybe you shouldn't send those things. Well, then maybe I should just get in the box. Because life isn't fun without hilarious taboo memes. We always have to have something that's a little taboo in our lives, because if you don't, you're gonna want it more. This is. It's almost a release valve. It's a little thing that hits the steam out of you for a second. Just go, all right. At least I'm not that. But this Young Republicans group had. I love Hitler on there, had the homo F word. Somebody said the N word. We avoid all that stuff to the best of our ability. Sometimes the memes come through, and you'll get one that, you know, I didn't create it. Yeah, I'm just forwarding this most of the time. We are. Our threads are just horrific. AI now like, of things that. And, you know, the big on the Mr. Roger stuff at this point. But I'm not gonna lie and act like we're like, well, we're lily angels on this thing. We would never. All of us have that line. We draw. We don't. And you know what's bad about it is that everybody acts like we're doing something wrong when the line is being given to us by the beautiful Internet and your kids. Six, seven, all of them. So, yeah, you got that thread. Kill it. But this Young Republicans group made a mistake. I didn't know when it was first presented, and I forgive them immediately. I don't care if it's Democrats or Republicans, People on the Internet, it's dumb to Texas, but everybody's but for the grace of God, there go I, I believe is the phrase, you can't. These are those moments where you can't go, I can't believe those guys would do that. If you're a Democrat and you're mad at the Republican group for saying silly things like Hitler this, Hitler that, go in your kid's phone and realize that it's happening, it's in your house, you're probably doing it too. So I don't care what the. It's not a win for a political group because pretty soon yours is gonna have it too. Cause everybody's doing it. I forgive them. The thing I didn't forgive was there's a state councilman in this group and there's a couple 40 year olds. So when they kept saying it was Young Republicans, I think we all assumed it was a bunch of teenagers. It wasn't. It was dudes like us. And I swear, I know, but Brett was smart enough to go, I don't know about this broomhead situation. I like him, but I don't know him well enough to know Brett. He's one of us. If you've got a state councilman in your thread and somebody says the homo F word, that dude's job at that moment is to go, I can't. I can't. Because one of the posts in this Young Republican thing was, if anybody got hold of these texts, we'd all be cooked. And that is the most prominent one. Because that's proof that you know what you're doing is just detrimental. People are losing their jobs from. And should, but good Lord, now's the time to delete it all. Delete.

[Brady]

Because this stuff is funny.

[John Holmberg]

It is, though. It's a Brady. It is funny. And another rule, you have to be careful in the group. Yeah, it doesn't matter if you think it's funny. If you're in a group where you're also discussing the future of Republican politics and you also. It's bad news for the people who want to achieve more later. Dismiss yourself from that. If it's Brett Brady, Doug me, now broomhead's out and we're sending you stuff, you're like, well, those guys aren't going anywhere with future stuff. They're just Jack. They're professional jackasses.

[Brett]

And always remember, if you get that thread from all your friends and there's one extra number there, it's not in your phone.

[John Holmberg]

Don't comment. Never comment. Oh, God. Is that the best advice of all time? If you've got Just number. Who's that?

[Brett]

Yeah, right, Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

I got one with Hopkins. Make a wish. Sam. I'm so surprised he's still alive. And then a couple other people from Hopkins work that are just numbers. I think I know who those numbers.

[Brett]

Are, but I don't chance it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. And we don't send anything bad. It's mostly just immaculate grid results and sport and occasionally a funny sports thing. We'll go back and forth with that. Hopkins and I'll tell each we, we basically are the two meanest people in the world. Back and forth to each other. Doug Hopkins has the unbelievable skill of calling me right as I've sat down to take a deuce. So I send a picture of my pants around my ankles, and I'm like, you're a wizard. I don't know how you do this, like, hundreds of times. He's amazing at it. So we go back and forth, just teasing each other. You still wouldn't want those in a courtroom, but it's, you know, it's understandable. Private conversation. If Hopkins and I are on his work thing and I'm like, man, that chick you got working at your. I sure would like to motorboat those. And all of a sudden, it gets out at Doug's work, and now Doug's talking to John about somebody. It would be terrible. So we do talk about Doug's employees, but it's just the two of us privately, the way it used to be. There's no boss that doesn't look around his office and go, I'd probably her if it was the 70s, but it's 2025, so I've just got to bury that thought. Flop your own phone today because we've all got it. And stop immediately. Stop acting like you're above it. You're not. You do terrible things on your. I've got terrible things in my phone. We all do. And it's time we just took a breath and said, stop acting like you're above. You're above this. If anybody asks, do you have. Do you. Don't shake your head. I can't believe. If you see it on the news and it's like these people were texting terrible things. Just, oh, I can't believe people. You're doing it, too. Just go, yeah, that's normal. That's how people behave. And I don't want to hear from anybody. If you're listening to this show and you're going to email me and go, like, I would never, ever put those things. Shut up. Yes, you would. You've made a trans joke, you've got a topic, you've done something, you've made.

[Brady]

Fun of a group which would rather have all that memes and stuff like that. Dark comedy, whatever, or just a constant threat of where should we protest? Or.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But again, I'm sure those protest feminists are like, God, I'd love to if it wasn't for those Chinese protesters that show up. I can't stand them. There's always one who's like, there's a Asian lady there. That's when she. She does her protest march. She screams and it's a shrill sound. And I'm sure some of those feminists are like, ah, is Quan Lee coming? So why do you not like Quan Lee? Oh, don't get me wrong, it's just I don't know her voice. Oh, I know she. And all you need is one person to go, me too. And then they start their own thread. And then a third will say something, text that girl too. She's with us. And then they start making racist like, this is Quan Lee. They'll find a lady screaming and yelling, an Asian, and they'll send it to each other. Doesn't this remind you of Kwan Lee at our protest? They're bad, too. So you feminists, the marchers, are the ones who are the most hateful. They've got a whole group, they just out and out, admit they don't like. It's time we stopped. You all have something horrible in your phone. Stop judging other people who get caught with it. And if you are somebody who's got, like, political aspirations and you're in a thread that's talking about how much everybody loves Hitler, even if it's a joke, should probably just step away, step out of that. Because even, like Broomhead, he's a political fellow, he's got some connections. But we're not running back and forth telling each other how much we love Hitler. Now, occasionally there might be a World War II meme that pops through, that's very funny to us. You know, it sounds bad when you're explaining it, but all jokes do. Enjoy yourselves. That's what I'm saying. Have fun out there with your garbage, silly. Yeah, this Todd Martin is right. If anybody's ever laughed at south park and you have no idea how they're getting away with, they're the only ones who do. And you're laughing, you're guilty. If you've ever laughed at one, you're guilty, too. So just, you know, everybody, lighten up. Sticks out of acid. And just remember, your kids are doing it too. Your kids are not good people. None of them are. To a certain degree. The kids are the ones making most of these videos. Then I thank them for that. I think it's a beautiful. Flop your phone. That's all I'm saying. Six, seven. Flop your phone today. Six, seven, Stop. And if you've got kids, go through those too. This guy said, wait, you don't like Dave in the thread? I thought all you Jews stuck together. This doesn't make any sense to me. But yeah, you're right, Dave. Yeah, judge. That's our message today. Judge people immediately. And if you don't like them, just avoid them. Like, even if they. Until they prove you different. You know what the best phrase I've ever heard someone say to me ever. It's the biggest compliment I can get. You know, John, I was wrong about you in a positive way. That's such a revealing phrase to say you hated me just based on my face. Like right off the bat, you judge me. Not for me. And I'm fine with that because I do that a lot of the times too. I get it.

[Brady]

But when you pass.

[John Holmberg]

But when they, when they tell you know what's wrong about you, you really won me over. It's like, I'm still going to be a little self conscious of that. Well, what did I do wrong? Because I want to correct that behavior so I don't do it over and over. The only way you're right. Yeah, well, most of the time you're. 95% of the time they're like, did you meet that idiot? I don't know about this new guy. Who? Ed downstairs. I don't know about him. And everybody's like, what? Yeah. Have you talked to Ed yet? He's crazy. And then you turn around, Ed's fine. Somebody said, yeah, it's good. Like, really? Okay. Have you met Kevin Belly downstairs? Does he even speak English? Like, no, no. Somebody's got to talk to him to find out.

[Brady]

It'll happen one day with Brett. He's like, you know, yeah, I really enjoyed that Carnival cruise.

[John Holmberg]

It could be that's not gonna. I prejudged that too. I'm not going on that. I'm not. I know immediately I'm not going to fit into that. Same reason I won't go to the Boom Boom Room. I want to. I want to real bad. But I think when I walk in, they're going to look at me and judge me immediately and go, we don't want you here. Hellcats early this year, look no further than our own building. Is that for 10 years before I finally broke the door down and said, hey, Corey, do you want to come on with us? We had a dude working here that simply had a limp. No one knew him. Avoided him like the plague.

[Brady]

Never had a date of birth.

[John Holmberg]

And why. Yeah, and why? Yeah. He never got a birthday card. Never got the email. Birthday. Hey, everybody, it's Corey Thriller's birthday today. Never. Because we just avoided him. Why? Because we didn't know if he was super sensitive about the thing. And we all probably felt a little guilty going, well, I do make fun of that walk quite a bit. Not his so much generally. Maybe he hates me because for me especially, I've been out loud about it. But all these other people, nobody ever approached Corey, ever. Everybody avoided the crippled kid. And then I kicked the door down. And now Corey's like the. He's the toast of the town. John Gordon was the only one that. Corey's great. I don't know why he hasn't. You've talked to it. Is it nice?

[Brett]

Did you catch anything?

[John Holmberg]

Is it contagious? What's he got?

[Brady]

Does he have a birthday?

[John Holmberg]

Because Emily downstairs never knew the birthday. He said, hey, Corey, what's your birthday? Omar, how come it didn't come through in the email? Oh, I never had a birthday here. How long have you worked here, Corey? I was expecting the word months to come out of his mouth. 10 years. What?

[Brady]

He's not getting paid, is he? 10 years.

[John Holmberg]

And he wasn't. He was selling blood and plasma to pay for his stuff. I understand that you had the crippled boy on your show today. You've opened that door. Yeah, Tripp, he seems pretty nice. Well, I've been paying him in crippled pay, which I made up myself. And it's a third of the. You know, because he moves his third.

[Brady]

His.

[John Holmberg]

Well, not all of them. There's a couple people downstairs that move at the same snail's pace, and they're completely okay, but if you can't make it down the hall in less than eight minutes, I don't have to pay you full wage. Want to go to stake 44? It's on the company. Can we not pay Corey? Why? Yeah, you're right. I'll meet you over there. So we all kind of avoided Corey, and then you find out Corey is also. If he was healthy and had the same mentality, he's Ed Gein. There's no question that Corey has that gene in him that this could go sideways. I love Corey. I think he's great. But I met his friend and that was the day I knew that those two sit in a weird shed sometimes and talk about people's skin.

[Brady]

Met his parents on Friday.

[John Holmberg]

You met his parents? And they're nice as maybe worse than us about. They told us to have a contest with him. See how fast and get in and out of our cars. Yeah, you try to get him. Corey try to get into a truck. I'm like, why would we have seen that? You need to time it and put it on the air. It's like the dad was big on good wager. Use him as a game. Really? Yeah.

[Brett]

KUPD truck. It's jacked up and everything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. See if he can get into the truck. He can't, by the way. He's gonna fall. It's hilarious. I'm his father. It's okay.

[Brady]

We do it all the time at home.

[John Holmberg]

Like, in order to feed Corey, he has to go through, like an obstacle course. It's hilarious.

[Dale]

Anyway.

[John Holmberg]

All right, the word this morning, six o' clock is stub. S T U B. Get on that, put it in the app and knock it down. And then give us a call or text over to Brett. You're not texting stub. You're doing it on the app in the promo code. So do it there. Give us a wake up song. Five eight, five. 9800 is the number. You know how to do this by now. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's out of control now. 98 K U P.

[Dale]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you very much. Miles to nowhere. That's Katie and the Hobbs. We're getting closer to that. We're always. Give it to you now. 7:00am Code word for taking it in the app is green, as in the color green. Green is the word for seven o'. Clock. That'll come up in a couple of minutes. You can get on that thing, hop on the app and start qualifying yourself. And that's it. Your job is done. You qualify and it's done. Let's get right to the rat killing on this. Yesterday we were teasing Toledo for getting a little bit ahead of the game, watching his Mariners go to the World Series. He's already bought tickets for the World Series. I would never buy super bowl or I. In fact, I've had my team in AFC championship games several times in my life, and I have never once said, I'm going to get the tickets. Now I would have felt like it was my Fault. Well, last night after Toledo bought his tickets and we teased like there's nothing they can do, boy, they got blasted last night. The Mariners got killed at home. And that's fine, you know, you throw a clunker out there. But now I'm sure Toledo's ass is tightening up and hoping that, you know, his Mariners keep going and that he isn't the reason why they Jinx. The biggest jinx I've ever seen in my life was Bernie Mac. And he paid for it. When in the seventh inning stretch of the Cubs Marlins National League championship series in 2003. Instead of saying root, root, root for the Cubbies or just turning the mic to the crowd like most people do to get the big, the whole Wrigley Field crowd to say kah base in unison, Bernie Mac says root, root, root for the champions. And that was the moment we all knew. Oh, there's the black cat. Not meaning him. There was a history with the Cubs. Look, you got him on. Let me, let me explain. In 1969, the Cubs had a nine game lead over the Mets going into September and a black cat crossed the third baseline and went through their dugout right by Santa. And yeah, in horrible, they lost a nine game lead to that very same Mets team. And the miracle Mets of 69. People don't remember that the Cubs actually came in third place. They fell apart so bad since after The Black Cat. 3rd place. Baseball people are superstitious. The black cat, not Bernie Mac who became the modern day. You know what I mean? Brett, stop laughing. You know I can't say black cat about what? He was an unlucky cat because he was black. I don't know why anymore. See, there you go. Can't fix it. Anyway, when he did that, you knew. Oh boy. And then Bartman happened a couple of inning later and I remember telling my.

[Brett]

Is that the same game?

[John Holmberg]

Same game. Oh, I didn't realize it was the same. Ex wife was in the house and the Cubs were leading with five outs to go after the Bernie Mac thing, which made me very unsettled. And I remember turning to her when she said the words, oh my God, they're gonna do it. And I said, I've been a Cub fan my whole life. That's what I said. If there's anything you can't say is it's over. They've got five outs and then Bartman. Then it was just eight run inning. The Marlins just. You can't jump ahead. Toledo's already done it with this. We're going to the series, guys. We're up two. Oh, what bad can happen? All of it. All of it. Here's my beef with last night. Former friend of the show. And I say former now because this is just brutal and you should be ashamed of yourself. Toledo. Not. Toledo's wandering in there. It's just a. It's embarrassing. Hi, Richard. That you jumped ahead of the game and you jinxed your own team for last night.

[Toledo]

To be fair, I never said we're going to the World Series. All I said.

[John Holmberg]

You have to be saying that if you're buying World Series tickets.

[Toledo]

All I said was there's a chance to buy World Series tickets.

[John Holmberg]

Were you going to do that if the Mariners stop saying words. Are you going to. Are you going. And never, ever in your life have you just bought World Series tickets because they've. Thank you.

[Toledo]

Two things.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you.

[Toledo]

The last time was 24 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Where I had a chance because the assumption is my Mariners are in. And you didn't. 2, 0. You bought those tickets because you were already assuming your Mariner's in.

[Toledo]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Toledo]

Four years ago. I was. I was at the ALCS game, too. I think it was game two.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe it's game. And you bought World Series tickets right after. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Couldn't afford them.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Not that today's different.

[Toledo]

Years later, I can afford these kinda.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So you jinxed your team because you have a better financial situation. Yeah. You did. We'll see. Here's what I'm upset about. And here's where your real jinx lives. And I'll say it right now, because he's not in town. And if he was, I'd tell his big, gangly, tall ass the same thing. You. Randy Johnson. He was out there last night at Seattle. Mariner legend.

[Dale]

Randy. Nope.

[John Holmberg]

He works for the Diamondbacks. You can't go put the Mariners gear back on and walk out there like, I love this team.

[Toledo]

And not only that, next year is the 50th year, so.

[John Holmberg]

Of. Of what? The Mariner of the M's. And. Yeah, and I understand being part of the. The greatest players that have ever played there. You forego your spokesman of the Mariners thing when you have.

[Brady]

Clearly, you would have been out there.

[Brett]

You roll King Felix. You don't roll that.

[John Holmberg]

You've got other guys.

[Toledo]

Well, they had Jay Buhner out there.

[John Holmberg]

Buhner's a lifetime Mariner rolled out Ichiro. Edgar Martinez.

[Toledo]

Ichiro Martinez is on the staff now.

[John Holmberg]

So you. Then he's your guy. Yeah. Where's King Felix? He gave You a lot of life in a team that couldn't win. Great. You had his jersey on yesterday. You're not wearing jersey. You're not wearing your Randy Johnson Mariners jersey. Because I think all Mariners fans know he not only moved on from us and he was great. He moved on and won a World Series for someone else. Yeah, that's when you lose your ties to that. That was. That's Randy pandering for good tickets. That's all he was.

[Toledo]

You can wear our Spike owen.

[John Holmberg]

Spike's a great 80s player. I like Spike.

[Brady]

80S player.

[Toledo]

You can wear Alvin Davis. You can wear Ichiro. You can wear King Felix.

[John Holmberg]

Can't even wear Ken Griffey Jr. Really, you can.

[Toledo]

But he came back.

[John Holmberg]

He's in their ring honor, as is Randy. But that's the sad thing. That's what the Cardinals would do. How you like them apples? That's something the Cardinals would do. They'd roll out a dude who went on to be great somewhere else as their own. That's a. That's a bush league team move. You take lifers, you know. What is Randy Johnson most remembered for in his career?

[Brady]

Hitting the bird.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's that. What's the second most memorable thing in Randy's career? If you ask Randy, what's the highlight of your career? Patient for the Mariners was. No. You're not even going to bring it up? No World Series. Winning a World Series with the Diamondbacks, living in Arizona. This is his home. He didn't love Seattle. He jinxed you. He totally went out there and like, I'm just going to play pretend. I love it here.

[Toledo]

Toby, I'm starting to blame Craig Gass.

[John Holmberg]

He's there too.

[Toledo]

He wasn't in Toronto. He was there last night and he told me he got tickets to all three games.

[John Holmberg]

And I'll tell you this, Randy. Randy's blindly going through the motions. And we proved that when Brady and I went to him in that autograph session last year. And he knows Brady well. They slept together. And I was in a. I knew me well enough because we hung out a few times and we hadn't been around him for a long time. And we go through the line of the autographs, get up to the thing and I. And I said, I Love your work, Mr. Stannett. And Brady said, hey, Johnson, you my sister? And he's just signed. He looks up and he looks back to our own, you two yahoos. And then. And then he said, they do something about our radios. They still let you do a radio show. And then what do you say, oh, come on. Oh, come on. And then I'm like, what time are you on? I'm like, well, in the morning. It's a morning show. Oh, I'm not doing that. Pay me.

[Brady]

Basically, that came close because he's had that coffee book that he wanted to do.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm all for having Randy in here, but don't think I'm not gonna.

[Brady]

Awesome.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm getting all over his ass for wandering up there pretending to be a Mariner because he's on the bandwagon. Come on, stop.

[Toledo]

Did you notice he's in Brady's realm now, too? He's got double ear. Hearing aids.

[John Holmberg]

Hearing AIDS. Well, he's 60, you know. Yeah. You might not be able to hear very well.

[Brady]

Sound doesn't travel that high up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe that's it. What's your excuse?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Somewhere between you and Randy is sound exists. So five. Five to seven feet.

[Brady]

I'm too low.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're under the radar. Like we can talk over you. That's what that means. Anyway. Watching Randy Johnson parade is that happy ass around out there is stupid. You don't do that. Ken Griffey. A rod's not going out there.

[Toledo]

Well, he wouldn't be invited.

[John Holmberg]

A rod would not be invited. Why? Because he went out and got rings in New York.

[Brady]

In New York.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he did. Well, he's not gonna walk out Rolex.

[Brady]

He would go out there as a.

[John Holmberg]

Yankee, the Yankees, and. And Randy's a diamondback.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

A rod isn't going to Texas either.

[John Holmberg]

No, because he went and succeeded somewhere else. And the Yankees wouldn't have anybody who didn't win championships for them roll out. There's like, isn't he great? He played with us once. That's a Cardinal move. The Cardinals would parade Emmett Smith around as their own.

[Brett]

Is he in the ring of honor yet? I'm sure it's next.

[John Holmberg]

It's coming. Jackasses. Yeah, they put Emmett in the ring of honor. All time leading rusher and former Arizona Cardinal.

[Toledo]

He didn't get the record here, did he?

[John Holmberg]

He just had it here, I think. Oh, he did get it in New York. And then he did pad heavily. Heavily. But it wasn't a ton of yards. It was just a lot of Edron.

[Toledo]

James, you know, they offered him the ring.

[John Holmberg]

Edwin went to the super bowl here. So if anything, Edron's highlight of his career is as a card.

[Toledo]

He was on that super bowl team.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he was a running guy. Why do I not remember that? Warner. Larry Fitzgerald. No, they that was a. They were pretty stacked on offense.

[Brady]

The Cardinals offered Emmett the ring of honor, but Emmett charged too much.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. In order to own my name, you must pay me a monthly fee. Emmett's the king of tariffs. You thought that was Trump's idea. Ask Emmett to do anything. He makes you pay. Either way. I don't like it. I don't like when bush league franchises do bush league stuff. The Bungles. If Joe Montana ever played for the Bungles and went off to San Francisco, the Cubs went. They're a bush league team. They retired Greg Maddox's number.

[Brett]

He's a Brave.

[John Holmberg]

He's a Brave. He won championship. He started with the cup one of Cy Young, and you wouldn't pay him.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And then he went to the Braves and his career was flourishing. Then he came back at the end of his career to the Cubs for a little BIT. He was the 5 starter on the 2003 team. He wasn't even. You know. And they retired his number. It was. And they'd already got his number retired with Fergie Jenkins. They retired it after he left. None of it makes sense. It's a bush league move. You put Ichiro's ass out there in the middle of Seattle. By the way, Seattle is almost all Asian. They'd have lost their minds if Ichiro went out there and threw the first pitch and you didn't even have to get the real Ichiro. They don't know. He goes out there. He's like a. Ladies and gentlemen, Ichiro Suzuki.

[Toledo]

We're pretty sure you're saying we could throw Kevin.

[John Holmberg]

Kevin Barry can go down there and just wave. Ichiro got a little chubby. And then he throws the pitch. And then he goes. You shatter. And then he walks away. You could have Shohei Otani go out and say, it's Ichiro Suzuki. Nobody, everybody. Everybody be too afraid. It doesn't look like him, but I'm not gonna say that out loud. I. That might be him. Whitey won't know for sure.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You could put an Asian woman out there. Go, Ichiro Suzuki. Not saying a thing. I'm pretty sure that's a lady. Don't want it because if I'm wrong, I lose my job. Randy Johnson waving to the fans. Remember how I screwed you, Seattle? Yeah. They look at my ring. It's got. It's got the Diamondbacks on it. You can't do that, Randy.

[Brett]

You wear that out there, too.

[John Holmberg]

Why not that World Series ring? Why not throw his first pitch out while he's fingering the Town of Seattle. While he's fingering the town of Seattle, he's going, careful, don't get any on my awesome ring from Arizona. Could you take the ring off? Never out there. Just. And you guys bent over for it like a bunch of. Randy Johnson belonged to us for a little bit so we wouldn't pay him. And then he had to go to Houston and then Arizona again.

[Toledo]

That's the team. The team bringing him back.

[Dale]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

I know.

[Toledo]

Fans had a choice.

[John Holmberg]

It probably wouldn't bush league. Oh, the fans, they were jerking off. I saw it. They were beating their meat like it's snowing. What could have been. When you don't pay a player and he leaves your franchise, you can't bring him back to the ring of honor if you never won anything with him. Welcome, Seattle legend whom we wouldn't pay. Randy Johnson. What's up, suckers? I told me. I told me. Anyway, I hated it. And that's your true jinx. You proved why your franchise has never been to a World Series. Yesterday with your we've never been there, you know, lap around the track.

[Toledo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it. Toledo's an asshole. What's the word?

[John Holmberg]

I told you already. It's green. With envy of the Toronto Blue Jays, who are going to the World Series now that Toledo jinxed it up Green. Come on, don't be a dick. I gave it to you early on. This one, too.

[Brett]

It's got Kurt Warner. Cardinal or Ram.

[John Holmberg]

Ram.

[Toledo]

MVP of the super bowl with the Rams.

[John Holmberg]

Although the Cardinals can parade him around because he got to. He took that franchise to places it had never been by himself and almost got one. But deep down, if you ask him, my. He says my Rams a lot. He's got the rings there or a ring. He should have had more. But he's.

[Brady]

He's.

[John Holmberg]

He's a tweener because the dude did it two times. You know, like, Tom Brady is not a buccaneer, but there's an argument to be made. The dude brought him a Super Bowl. Yeah. So it's like if they paraded him around. That's just a thank you. We know you're a Patriot, but that's a thank you.

[Toledo]

Well, the year after he retires, they fall off.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, what were they doing? They had to figure out quarterback. Patriots did, too. But that's the thing. It's like there's very few guys who have the championship. Robert Ori is one. You don't even know. Lakers, spurs, everywhere he went, he won a championship. But the Suns can't roll Robert Horry out. They had him, too.

[Toledo]

Jesus Christ. That's right. I said, Jesus, jewbird. You don't believe in things like ghosts or karma, but you believe in luck and jinxes.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, my man, baseball is loaded with superstition. Has nothing. Has nothing, bro. Okay, thank you, Brady, for indulging the youth. The luck and superstition have nothing to do with ghosts. Ghosts are fake. Superstition is sometimes something that gets in your head and it plays mind games with you. I'm just saying, when you start parading that when you bring out a guy who couldn't get you to the next level as a celebratory thing, as you try to get to the next level, it enters into the minds of a lot of people. It's like, man, we're celebrating failure here. You don't do it. That's why if I was the Cardinals, I wouldn't. If we're in the, you know, if they go to the NFC championship game and they're like, welcome Kurt Warner. It's like, oh, no. Yeah, we didn't win one with him. We came close. Are we celebrating just being close or are we celebrating winning at all? You bring out Larry Fitzgerald, you bring out your lifers.

[Dale]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says, as a 40 plus year Yankee fan, I would never ever buy World Series tickets before you got some balls as a Mariners fan to jump the gun like that. It's proof that this guy just isn't good with money. That's true. That's why. That's why he had full refund if they're not there. But if the Dodgers aren't, you don't. I can sell them. Yeah, you got. You think you can sell them? You hope. You got those terrible bleachers.

[Brett]

I was just gonna say sell him a trip, but he's not sitting there.

[Toledo]

Terrible bleacher seats. Yeah, because the World Series games are the first one there will be, you know, poorly attended.

[John Holmberg]

No, but it's going to be cheaper tickets you're not going to get. Anybody's going to willing to spend a lot of money.

[Brady]

We'll see.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know for sure. We bleach your seats, we spend an extra 500. We don't sit there. It's like, yeah, let's do it. It's the World Series. You only live once. You might get face value for those when the Dodgers play the Blue Jays. We'll see. I'm just giving you guff because you jumped ahead of it.

[Toledo]

You're right, Holmberg. I don't see the suns rolling out.

[John Holmberg]

Robert Horry. That's what I said already. You did? Yeah. He's so busy jinxing his team, he didn't hear me.

[Toledo]

Didn't hear you either.

[John Holmberg]

It's true. Yeah. The sunset. Robert Ori, after he won with the Rockets, comes to the Suns, doesn't do anything here but cause fights. They trade him away.

[Brett]

Sunset Shaq, too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that doesn't. Well, the Sun's ever paraded Shaq around, it's Phoenix.

[Brett]

They probably would. They celebrated their loss to the Bulls.

[John Holmberg]

For a whole season. He's right.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And who's the only one in the room going, what are we doing here? Everybody was awesome. It's a great year. No, it was the Bulls year. You guys lost. You guys celebrated their losses.

[Toledo]

They do a parade.

[John Holmberg]

The whole season was the. Was the 30th anniversary of the sun's championship run, which they lost in six games. And they were having throwbacks to the old court in 93. And I'm like, what are we celebrating here? Are we thinking they should have had.

[Brett]

John Paxton out there?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Bring out the champions. Here's former son Oliver Miller's like, yeah, he was one of the losers on the team that lost to the Bulls. Stop it. I don't think Utah celebrates their 97 loss. And they've got nothing to cheer for either. But you could bring Carl and Stockton back. And even though Carl was a Laker for a little bit, he's a Jazz, right? Karl Malone, Utah Jazz. That's all he says to people. Hi. How many in your party? Carl Malone, Utah Jazz. Okay. Are there any other people joining you? The Malones. I'll just do a head count myself. Thanks, John Stock, and join us later. Okay. Thank you. Carl. Carl Malone. We heard you. Utah jail. Here's the thing. You want some nightmare fuel? I've got it. And I have it in video form. A friend of a friend of a friend sent me a thing and said this lady he works with has a Tesla. And you know that people have been abusing Teslas and stuff lately.

[Brady]

Still.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's kind of died off, but little do we know what's going on.

[Toledo]

If it wasn't vandalizing or, like, using the.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you'll hear hyper mode. Shut up. I'll tell you, the cameras are all over. Guy walks by her Tesla and she doesn't catch it for like a couple days after, walks by her Tesla with a spray bottle, pulls it out of his pocket and sprays it on the handle, puts it back in his Pocket walks away, and she sees it, like, a day later, she shows it to some people, and what do you think this is? Everyone's reaction's the same. Oh, that's poison. Like, we're moving on from just burning them up or doing something stupid. And then you wonder, is this because I showed it to a cop friend, and he's like, first thought, some sort of a substance that's either poison or if it gets in her system or on her blood, it'll knock her out. And then he'll just follow the car. You know, she goes home. He waits 25 minutes, he knows she's asleep. And since the Bill Cosby, he goes, those are my first thoughts. Could also just be urine. Weird little vandal doing baby stuff. But. And then I. And then the cop told me something. He's like, you know, we have to worry about that. We work in a restaurant. Does he? You know how many people have these little moments in their life where it's so easy spray bottling our cars if.

[Brady]

They have Maguire's protected car spray.

[John Holmberg]

He's not helping out with just that little section of your car and trying to put it. Oh, that looks like that might be the sun. Might be getting that a little bit. I'm gonna help him out. It was just. I have the video. It's. It's all over the handle. And then he walks. And then you wonder, is this somebody doing that to multiple cars? And just the Tesla caught him and is there some sort of a thing going on? That is horrifying to think that you.

[Brady]

Never think about ever.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, everything. And plus, if somebody's got it out for you, you know, my Jeep, people know it's parked in the same spot every day. And whatever. You go out and you just hit that handle with something. Fentanyl, for God's sakes. It gets in your bloodstream. Can screw you up if there's somebody wanting to do terrible thing to you. And so I looked at this. I'm like, is this new? And my cop buddy said, actually, no. And like, oh, come on. He goes, yeah, it's not. It's not new. And I wished it was, but it's. It's something that's been going on for a little bit. It is relatively new. But he's like, yeah, we've seen this a few times. And one of them was in a city overseas. It was Europe. A dude was doing that and raping chicks. He was. It was. They were. They'd get it on there, and then he'd follow him home and he'd wait, and they'd, like, stagger out.

[Brett]

It was like some kind of roofy.

[John Holmberg]

Type, some sort of weird substance that gets on your skin and makes you high, makes you susceptible. I don't know that you pass out. But he's like, yeah, there was a problem in Europe. A guy was putting substances on things of girls, cars. They'd touch it. They'd get in the car. If it worked, he'd notice it when they. You know, they'd weave a little. They'd get into their. And he'd sit and watch them and wait a few minutes and then go in the house. So if somebody's watching you is basically what he said, Is that you? Or it's just some lunatic with a bottle of pee being a jerk. But you got to start worrying about that crap. That needs to be a psa. Always have little bleach wipes in your car. Wipe your hands off as you're sitting in there just in case somebody hates you, Brady. Good thing is, you've got a loaner car right now. You rotate cars so often, people can't chase you, but for crying out loud. Bad guy with intentions. You don't even have to, like, stand outside and fight anymore. They've got this stuff in it. And the dude. I mean, it was a clear thought out. He's walking by the car, and as he's going by, kind of looks over, pulls the thing out, hits the handle, and keeps walking. And why hit the handle if you're just gonna spray pee on somebody's car? You know, I don't know if it does anything or if you're gonna put, like, acid on there or whatever. I don't know. But isn't that crazy?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's chemical warfare. So nightmare fuel for everybody out there. Next time you open the door, just know. Keep your eyes open and don't touch your face and just immediately wipe off everything. Just. Yeah. Everybody needs to become Howard Hughes for a little while while lunatics run the earth. But there's good video of him. And she didn't call the cops because she didn't, you know, she's like, I'm still here. I feel okay. But is this weird, or is this me? And she's. She's an older lady, so she was kind of like, is this a. Why would they do this to me? And the Tesla makes you think, maybe it was just vandalism. But nothing happened to the car. Maybe it was just a lunatic who shot water on her car. Who knows? But it made me invest in I'm gonna buy some stock and Clorox bleach wipes. And I'm gonna talk about this every day because that. It was horrifying. The video is crazy. Here, look.

[Brady]

Let's buy some driving gloves.

[John Holmberg]

Here. It's so completely obvious and. Driving gloves. Yeah, be like one of the local weathermen that think that they should drive the driving gloves.

[Toledo]

And again, this is someone you know.

[John Holmberg]

It's someone I know. It's someone they know. You see that? It isn't. I mean, the dude is a tiny little. It's a tiny little squirt gun. Yeah, he sprays it all over pepper spray or something. But then. But then, you know, then you got to wonder why. Yeah, you probably pick that up and watch this. It's really strange to see somebody do this. So just keep your eyes open for that kind of stuff. And Tesla people, knock it off. The Teslas didn't do anything to you. The person who bought it didn't do anything to you. And also, ladies, be aware, they come up with new ways to be terrible people regularly. That one scared the.

[Dale]

That.

[John Holmberg]

That's. That's truly horrible.

[Toledo]

Coming from a gym or something.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I don't know what the dude is.

[Brady]

I don't know where it looks like it.

[John Holmberg]

I thought it was a cvs. He's either that or he's homeless. He's just got a bunch of stuff with him. Isn't that nuts? So, little public service announcement there. And if you. Especially if you're a woman and you're in the same place all the time, like, you know, we park in the same spot a lot, and, you know, I'm announcing how easy it is to get us, but it is. And then they hose off your handle, and the next thing you know, you're in Sodomy Gulch, and you wake up like, where's my car? What happened? Damn. Crazy, right? Clorox bleach wipes. Two for 99 cents, hopefully, at today's CVS. And then when you go back out at the CVS, starts carbon nano. Here's another thing. I haven't been to a CVS lately. Anywhere the city, good, bad, or otherwise, where there isn't the most awful vagrant I've ever seen in my life standing outside. I. Some. Something's going on at drugstores where they feel super cozy. I was at one in that big.

[Toledo]

Awning that they have.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Maybe it was in Scottsdale. North Scottsdale. Like, this is, like, the nicest CVS As I pulled in, I walked up and there is, like. And it wasn't just an average homeless Joe. This was like, if I were to draw the worst one I've ever seen and give it to, like, this. This dude was a mess. Just standing there like this makes me uncomfortable immediately. All these empty cars, Gilbert.

[Brady]

I noticed that on the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like, they, like drugstores. Well, that's where I saw that dude trying on deodorant in the store and putting them back. And that changed my brain into just only buying the ones that are already pre. Like, buy packs of two that are wrapped in that plastic, because I don't think he could get the top off of those. And. But he was applying Old Spice Fiji, which was the one I was using at the time. And I watched him put it back, and I'm like, did I just see all of that? And sure enough, he had enough wherewithal that he must had a job interview or something. He didn't look super clean, but didn't look awful yet. He was bad. And he just tried on some deodorant and put it back. Switching deodorants today, and it was the last two of the Fiji. And then I'm like, well, I'm not doing any of the individual ones ever again. And then I became that lunatic that told the manager at the cvs, can we lock up the deodorant? If we're going to lock up all the acetaminophen, can we lock up the deodorant, too? Why? What? Did you see that dude putting deodorant on? We can't have that. Put a little padlock on the top of it. It works. Lunatics everywhere. You just never know. And I don't want to give lunatics an idea or anything, but Dave Har works here. He's got a Tesla. Just saying, be careful out there, Dave. It's blue, I think, right? And it's the blue one. Be careful. Don't want to start hosing that off. Toledo has a Yaris for those of you who are interested with your spray bottle.

[Brady]

He's powder blue.

[John Holmberg]

Powder blue Toyota Yaris, which is. They got a sticker.

[Toledo]

World Series champions.

[John Holmberg]

It's got a sticker on the back that says, mama, wife loves me. I love my wife Anyway. Yeah. Mariners, 2025 World Series champs. Get your merch. Go for it, Toledo. I'm gonna order him some merchandise. Seattle Mariners tattoo this week. Get a tattoo. Seattle Mariners, American League champs, 2025. That's pretty safe. No, you won't do that. No, it's cheaper than those tickets you wasted money on.

[Toledo]

Oh, it is.

[John Holmberg]

What was the score last night? I turned it when it was like 12 to 2.

[Dale]

12.

[John Holmberg]

4. Okay, well, they got a couple at the end there. It's fun to razz. I wouldn't had you not made that move.

[Toledo]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy. Anyway, why don't you get a Bears championship jersey? They're looking pretty good. Three in a row. Nope. Yep. See, that's smart. That guy gets.

[Toledo]

That's like asking me to get World Series tickets in April.

[John Holmberg]

You might as well have.

[Toledo]

If he makes the playoffs, it's a better thing. Plus, Super Bowl's one game.

[John Holmberg]

You might as well. You might as well just every year buy World Series tickets. If the end goal is just to make money selling bleacher seats in la. How much do you want for those? Like right now? They're 20.

[Toledo]

Face value?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, 2400. How much do you want for your tickets?

[Toledo]

Yeah, 2500.

[John Holmberg]

So you just take face on this. I charge 3000 at least to make 500 bucks. Just for half.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If anybody wants to buy Toledo's World Series tickets, if you're a Blue Jays fan, you're going to need these.

[Toledo]

Well, it's the second game in la, so if Toronto wins, it will be game three. If LA wins, it'll be game two.

[John Holmberg]

I gotcha.

[Toledo]

Because Toronto has a better record.

[John Holmberg]

So it's the second game in LA which would be game four.

[Toledo]

I think the way that it was on the LA website was either way, second game in la, whichever one.

[John Holmberg]

So it would be game two. If Seattle wins. Yeah, Game four of Toronto wins. Because they wouldn't have hope. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Game. Yeah, game four.

[John Holmberg]

Either way, you can buy Toledo's tickets now. D, toledo9kupd.com make an offer. Reverse the jinx. The word is green. It's in your promo code for 7:00am Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats, my friend?

[Brett]

All right, Wake Up Song brought to you by, of course, Action Ride Shop. It's going to be in the 80s this weekend, so now's the time to get up on the trails. And it was 59 this morning. I know, I grabbed the fly. I think it was 49 in the studio when we walked in. But time to get those bikes up and running. And they got the best wrenches in town over there at Action Ride Shop. With two locations right there on Gilbert Road and Southern, of course, the brand new one on Power McDowell. I think there's only one song on there that we should Play.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Kill switch, engage. My curse. That's for Toledo. Great suggestion.

[Brett]

Everybody else, thank you for putting those.

[John Holmberg]

In, but guy said that spray bottle thing on the car happened to me. The cops said it was crazy juice, and I couldn't control myself saying, Mark Sanchez. Yeah, I guess it's been going on for a little while. Gene Simmons just texted and said, somebody sprayed my car too, and that's why I fell asleep. Alec Baldwin is soon to follow with his excuses to why he smashed into that tree. My curse by Kill switch, engage. Because that's what Toledo just did. Terrible, terrible idea. Starting to trade championship stuff around before you're even in it. Oh, it's just bad.

[Brett]

Henry Ruggs called in, too.

[John Holmberg]

Since, you see, on my car, somebody coated my car in Hennessy. So much so the fumes got me drunk, so I started to drive 300 miles an hour and run people over. Caitlyn Jenner just called. She's got hit with crazy juice on her car that day. It is weird, though. And when you see it, you're like, oh, do I have to think about this, too? This just opened a whole.

[Brett]

It was just so casual, too. It's not like the dude was centered.

[John Holmberg]

And it begs the question, is he mad at Tesla's or is he doing this all the time and that he forgot the Tesla had cameras? Yeah, dope. It's my curse, everybody. It's Kill switch engage. It's 98KUFD. Wash your hands. It's out of control now.

[Dale]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Now in the middle of the codes, we got to get on that app right there. Take it in the app. We've been talking about it. We're going to be talking about it a lot. The gigantic book of words is. It's whittling down a little bit, but it's a lot. This book is huge. And then, of course. All right, 8am is over. Or. No, 8am is just now started. 7am is over. So you can't do that. So in about 10 minutes, I'll give you another one. You put it in the promo code and you just keep qualifying. We got you covered. We're going to hand out money like crazy on that deal, and you'll be grooving right along, Said John. I kind of understood what you said. I'm not sure. I don't follow baseball, but did I hear you say that the Cubs had Bernie Mac killed? Is that what happened to him? No, but maybe it was just ironic.

[Brett]

Yes, I did.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, we did. I mean, if you went through everybody's Text thread back in 2003. If that was a thing, you'd have seen almost every Cub fan going, oh my God, somebody go punch Bernie Mac immediately. What did he just do? He jumped ahead. Yeah, superstitions are brain efforts. They're not real, but they can still mess with your head. I know. Baseball players have tons of them. Guy who puts like, you know, you watch major league, he's got suspenders on. It's just whatever makes your brain relax. It's. It's taking the weak minded moments and reminding yourself, oh, I've got my quarter in my shoe. Everything will be just fine. It's a reset. It doesn't actually have any scientific value except for the fact your brain actually does respond to some sort of stimulus you consider lucky. Baseball's loaded with it and Toledo's ruined that for the glorious Mariners. And I for one am laughing hysterically. And by the way, yeah, Toledo traded as Yaris and for, I believe it was a black Range Rover. So if you're a piss bottle sprayer, that's. Man, they also have money around here, huh? Yeah. And Brett's not driving a Subaru. I'll just say that.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Don'T touch the Porsches or the Coopers. Just saying. That's management stuff up there. You don't want to do that. Spray bottle people, they exist. Maybe take your sleeve now that we're all kind of wearing sweatshirts again. Put it over your hand and scrub your handle. When you get in the car, don't touch your face. That's what Covid taught us at 7:48. It's time now for Brady to give you all the other news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our [e-mail]. i saw a neighbor of mine just had it done down the street and he has a east west exposure. His front door is glass. And evidently he got absolutely sick and tired of the sun blasting at sunset right through his front door. I noticed the other day he's got a big giant walk in kind of what I call it the patio I guess or the little walkway. He's got a massive shade that comes down now. It must be on a timer. I guess you can get timers for it too.

[Toledo]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a timer and it goes down about 4:30. It looks great and it kind of blocks his whole front way. It made me start thinking I got a little east west exposure there at sunset. I like it. So looked amazing. Professionally done. Incredible folks at all pro Shade got the job done for him too. And it was an awesome design. You barely notice it until you notice you're like, oh, you put a really cool kind of blocker there that shades up your front walkway. Brilliant. And it looks amazing. And it always does. It made his house look more valuable. It looks high end. And that's what all pro Shade does. They do that to you. They'll do it for anybody. If you got a spot, you have too much sun or you got a glare on a TV or you're just sick of that sunshine. AllProche.com is where you need to go. Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello world. Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Boss's Day.

[John Holmberg]

Hi, Tripp. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Couple of basic fun facts. Audi's four ring logo represents the four companies that combine to create Audi's predecessor. Predecessor Auto Union. The logo debuted in 1930s and is likely inspired by the five ring logo of the Olympics. And in fact the International Olympic Committee sued Audi over the logo in 1995. But they lost.

[John Holmberg]

They're different, they're just circles. Combining rings is allowed.

[Brady]

The famous artist Caravaggio, Nice job. Is actually from the city of Caravaggio.

[John Holmberg]

Did it twice.

[Brady]

He chose to use that name. What, because his first name was Michelangelo?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can't do that. It's like being named Tom Brady and trying to be a quarterback. He nailed it though, and he made it. There's two Michelangelo's but one of them's Caravaggio. Yeah, I can't go out of there and be a Michelangelo. There already is a guy. He already stealing my assander. I be a Caravaggio.

[Toledo]

I noticed he stopped it too though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he didn't want to go for the hat trick. He used that name. What name? Brady Carpaccio. Damn it.

[Toledo]

Food.

[Dale]

Of course.

[John Holmberg]

Of course. It snuck in there.

[Brady]

The average eel lives to be 10 to 15 years old, but an eel in Sweden lived to be 155.

[Toledo]

Wow, that's throwing the curve way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's gonna be. So most of them live to be two. And with this guy's involved in the math, it boosted to 15.

[Brady]

There's a psychologist that shared a tip on how to improve your relationship in one minute a day.

[John Holmberg]

Just play with the tip. That's it. You want to improve a relationship. Ladies, it's easy. We aren't mad anymore. We don't. We you can do have done whatever you want if you fiddle with the tip more.

[Brady]

He says give your partner a full undivided presence. No Multitasking. No. Phone in hand, the phone down. No rushing. Make a deliberate choice to turn toward each other.

[John Holmberg]

And.

[Brady]

Yeah, so he says. A one minute hug after a long day of work. One minute, even a 20 second sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't last very long.

[Brady]

Can lower cortisol and boost the bonding hormone oxytocin.

[John Holmberg]

Put both hands on the ass cheeks too when you do that. Because then you can pull my pelvis towards you. It's smartest thing to make a relationship better. Ladies. There's never a time. Ladies. I don't know why you dig your heels in on arguments. You've got such a simple puppy standing across from you. If you were wrong, instead of saying, I'm sorry you feel that way and fighting, just go, all right. If I start blowing this guy, this is over. And I get. I'm off the hook.

[Toledo]

Bring it in here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, bring it in. All a woman would have to do. It's like, I'm so goddamn mad at you. I can't believe you did this. You are so sexy when you're mad at me. What? I just want to blow you up. That's not what we're doing right?

[Dale]

Well. Oh. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

I love you so much. You're the greatest wife of all time. What were we talking about? Why was I mad? I can't even imagine why I was mad. You. And then he's done and you're. Gulp. Are you all right now? I'm still. We'll talk about this later. But I'm still pretty. I'm still angry. You. And then you just blow them back to submission. We're simple. If a dog's mad at you and you hold up bacon. The dog's not mad anymore. We're dogs blown to submission. You could blow us into submission. Every fight the bet. The key to a successful relationship that wins every time. It's just, you know, you're so willing to dig your heels in on dumb stuff. Occasionally take one for the team in the back of the throat. And that dude is subdued. It's over.

[Brady]

Gifts.

[John Holmberg]

You might even have, like you crashed the car. You know when. I know they know that too. When they've done something they know is going to make you mad and was completely their fault and they don't have a leg to stand on, they turn to it. I'm so sorry. Oh. We'll talk about that car in a minute. I can't believe. And then you're joking about. She's a terrible driver. Silly girl. You. You hold all the power and you. And you want to Fight with us. I don't get it. That's how much they hate us.

[Brady]

A second tip is a moment of gratitude, right?

[John Holmberg]

Thank you.

[Toledo]

No second tips.

[Brady]

Each of you shares one thing you appreciated that day, big or small.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it doesn't. Sometimes it's not big, but it's not your fault.

[Brady]

Third one is a quick morning check in. Take a minute in the aim to ask, what's one thing you're carrying today that I can support you?

[John Holmberg]

No, none of this matters. The BJ when you're mad, the BJ before bed. The moment of gratitude is giving someone a warm wet towel afterwards to clean up. And then in the morning, what he's basically saying is, can I have one before I go to work? You have the greatest relationship. You would have the most. You think that trash isn't ever getting taken out? What happened? We know a guy in the public eye who married a lady. And dudes, ladies, we talk about this stuff and he's a classy man, but he said, my last marriage was just a nightmare. And he goes, you know what I have in my new one? Every morning she wakes me up and says, do you want me to blow you? And he goes, we've gotten to the point where sometimes I'm like, not this morning, but thank you. It's on the table. And we all sat and listened to him with our mouths open going, it's the greatest relationship of all time.

[Brady]

It's like the Bugs Bunny cartoon. So I think the character, the job just drops the ground when he said.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, I got confused as to where you're going to take this to cartoon land. But yeah, you're right. But she's beautiful and she offers a BJ every day to start their day mad or not mad. Grandparents used to said, never go to bed angry. There's one way to do that. For sure, it's ridiculous. All these therapists trying to figure it all out. It's been solved. It's just an unwillingness to make that easy. It's like having a cure for aids. No one will take the shot. It's solved. Relationships are solved if you just play with the tip more.

[Brady]

Period.

[John Holmberg]

End of story. Don't write books. Don't read books. Those big giant books are psychiatrists going, if you just listen to each other. Well, if you listen to us, the first thing we'd say is, if you blew me more, there'd never be a problem. But you don't listen. You listen to what you want to hear. Am I all about sex? You don't Realize it. I am all about sex. I'm all about feeling much better. Even Brady, yesterday, when somebody, I think Larry, asked you, how's things going? You're, like, feeling good? You feeling healthy? Yeah. And then Larry, how's sex? Now that you only have one kidney? Could always use more of it. Even Brady. Even Brady's first response was, not enough. Life could be easier. We are a simple creature. I mean, the most confusing some of us are is Toledo. Sometimes, like a finger in his ass while you do it. It's weird for some guys, but you.

[Brady]

Got sometimes a thumb, sometimes the thumb.

[Toledo]

Change it up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Make me feel like you're a new gal now and again. You got 10 options back then.

[Toledo]

God damn it, John. I know we're not in the age of tapes and everything, but I need to record what you're saying, John, and I need to send it to my lady. Please continue to preach on as I look for a way to record your show. You don't need to.

[John Holmberg]

We're the dumbest animals on the planet when it comes to the kryptonite. That's Superman. If you watch Superman, do you know what kryptonite comes from? All men have one wild weakness. You can. You can. And what happens to Superman around kryptonite? His knees get weak. He's kind of stupid. He'll do whatever. He's under your spell. Thank you. That's called BJ's. You own us. Do you think malls were built because dudes wanted to do it for each other? Let's build a mall filled with shops she loves. Did women do that for us? No. They're all over the place. We've. We've. Everything we do is so you will want to touch the tip. And we gotta argue about whether or not the trash got taken out.

[Brady]

Stop.

[Brett]

I don't know why it's so difficult for these broads.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't either. Thank you, Brett. And that is in summation. I don't know why it's so difficult for these broads to figure out. I mean, come on, Brett had the epilogue on that, and it was perfect. We solved it. Tired of. Tired. As you get older, you realize I'm just tired of hearing psychiatrists think they've got a keys to it. Better. It's listening. No, it's not. It's listening to me say, I don't want to fight with you. Will you blow me? And if you do, it's over.

[Brady]

And this one, you know almost. Well, two out of the four suggestions involve touching for a Minute.

[John Holmberg]

Just. Just. Just physical contact of some sort. It might lead to a blowjob. That's all we're thinking. You guys are pigs. Why do you fight it? It's the easiest route for you getting better treatment. Yeah. Yes. I hate to break you. It seems like you like that a little too much. James is right. He goes, it's all relational. You blow me more, I want to take care of you more. You blow me more, I want to be around you more. You blow me more, I want to make you happier. Women get upset because they think they have we have more layers. We don't. James, you're so right. We don't have more. You know what our layers are? If I'm not getting blown, I'm sending Brett racist memes. That's my day. Sometimes I have stuff to do in the middle of it gets in the way of the racist memes and the BJ's, but that's it. I am simple and I am not unique. Brady told Larry could always use more. He's never satisfied with just what he's getting. And God forbid you take it away from us because it's just a cause of problems that we solve. Relations. I should write the book that goes, all therapists are wrong. Stop with the four Horsemen. Stop with Gottman, Liebman, whatever those. You don't need marriage counseling. You just need the girl to go, you know what? I need to blow him. He'll calm down if I do that. They get it with like every other animal on the planet. Only he just likes when I calm him this way. So it says, my mother in law once gave me my wife the greatest advice. Says, as a wife, you must sexually please your man. God bless her soul. Then I also found out she swallowed, not me. I think I married the wrong one. I got one question. How did you find out your mother in law swallowed?

[Toledo]

Yeah, I don't want to know that.

[John Holmberg]

How in the world did that Thanksgiving conversation start? By the by, I just get so tired of how much money is spent in self help books and relationship things. Stop it. We are simple. There's not a guy in the world going, well, you stop blowing me immediately. Let's continue fighting. It's not a thing.

[Brett]

Miguel says it works on your boss too.

[John Holmberg]

I'd blow Tripp. And apparently look, if Tripp was mad enough at me and it looked like it was all going to cave in and I didn't want it to end. Would a blowjob help? Like I'm going to consider it if I just blow this guy, will he still stay or is he going to get on my team? What are you doing? John, I'm furious at you.

[Dale]

You've gotta.

[John Holmberg]

You've got us in some big.

[Toledo]

Oh.

[Brady]

I'll figure it out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you know what? We're on the same team. You and I are a team. Now go wipe your mouth. Oh, people can't know. Said Larry in Larry. I'm serious. Then your boss would just be mad all the time. Like I'm angry at you. Larry, are you a good employer back.

[Dale]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

What do you need me to do, boss? Oh, John started this.

[Dale]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

The sports betting site Action Network. Crunch the numbers to find the odds of each type of candy landing in your kids Halloween bucket.

[John Holmberg]

It. Okay. Odds. The fanduel candy odds. All right.

[Brady]

Reese's Peanut butter cups. A 67% chance of getting some solid. Oh, in the bag.

[John Holmberg]

In the bucket.

[Dale]

Yeah, you need.

[John Holmberg]

Well, don't say it that way, man. Change. Change the way you say that. All of it.

[Brady]

Second was peanut M and M's.

[Brett]

You mean just one or. I mean that's the most given out.

[John Holmberg]

One. The odds of going to a house and getting peanut. Two out of three or. Yeah. 67% chance that's what you're going to get. Get. That's pretty good odds.

[Brady]

Kit Kat. 60%.

[Brett]

I like those odds.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, that's up there.

[Brady]

Snickers 58%.

[John Holmberg]

How are they all 60%.

[Brett]

Oh, wait, you get to.

[Toledo]

The Costco pack has all of them.

[Brady]

They're breaking it down basically. Here. The top 10 popular Halloween candies and the odds of getting at least one of them Halloween night.

[Toledo]

Oh, at least one.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

You got a decent neighborhood.

[Brady]

There's a 2% chance they'll get a toothbrush. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Those pricks. Yeah, those people are bad.

[Brady]

4% chance. Box of raisins.

[John Holmberg]

Hasn't that generation died yet?

[Brett]

The penny generation has died.

[John Holmberg]

Remember that? Thank God the raisin generation has to.

[Toledo]

Caramel apple popcorn ball.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, popcorn ball. Yeah, yeah. The homemade stuff. I think that generation's dead.

[Brady]

Kids in Mississippi are the most likely to end up with candy corn corn. 46%. That's why.

[Brett]

That's AJ too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, they just jam them in there. It's the closest thing they've ever had to teeth.

[Brady]

Nebraska. Hawaii is the bottom of the list for candy corn. 11%.

[Brett]

I'm moving there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that stuff's terrible. It's. It's gross. Wax, sugar, no flavor.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's terrible.

[John Holmberg]

It's just gross.

[Brett]

That's how you get your house egged.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's like three handout candy corn. To me, candy corn is like the plastic stuff in the end of a shoelace.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It just has that same kind of like this is plastic. It's melting.

[Brady]

Grubhub says 72% of college students have missed a late night delivery order sometime in their college career because they nodded off.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, like they ordered pizza or smoked up.

[Brady]

So now they're offering snooze insurance.

[Brett]

Snooze insurance.

[Brady]

You pay a little extra GrubHub student member you. They're offering a makeup meal to replace the one you slept through. It's not a built in feature. You need to apply for a code over the next few weeks which provides $15 off a future do over meal you go to. The grubhub website had no idea. They'll actually deliver like your meal plan in college.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You can order from the cafeteria. GrubHub will deliver it to your dorm.

[John Holmberg]

They'll do anything. They'll deliver anything you want.

[Brett]

It's called Bong insurance.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. That's a good idea. Yeah. The Bong Drop insurance. Man, I thought I was gonna stay awake for this. I was at the time. I was starving.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't we eat tacos? Where are they? Down in the lobby. Oh, man. I watched a brother at the H and H Ranch. They used to. The grubhub guys would just drop it in the lobby and you had to kind of keep an eye on your phone because they're not allowed up to your doors. You have to go through.

[Toledo]

Did you have a door person there, though?

[John Holmberg]

No, it's all there. You have to get permission from the person to bring them up and so you have to go get them. So they just drop the. And I walked in as the Suns game was going on. I walked in with a guy and happened to be 15, 20 minutes later on the same elevator, going back down and going out and leaving him like, hey, we share in an elevator all day. And he starts laughing. He walks by and he looks over at the desk and the same bag of Taco Bell was there when we walked in as when we were leaving. He goes, man, that sitting there for 15 minutes, that's mine. And he just left with a bag of tacos. And I'm like, he's not wrong. Somebody didn't care enough to check for 15 minutes. There's a chance it's not going to be there, there. But he ate it.

[Brady]

Got a couple of radio videos all right, first one.

[John Holmberg]

Sir, did I give the word out? Nope.

[Brady]

Beat.

[John Holmberg]

I got to give you a word. Eight o'. Clock. Word is beat. B E A T. Eight o'.

[Brady]

Clock.

[John Holmberg]

Beat. You have 40 minutes. Put it in the promo code and on the app 98 KPD app or on our streaming. You find it. It's easy. Eight o'. Clock. Done. B E A, T beat. Good luck.

[Brady]

Just discovered a new one for you boys. Disabled Cuties on Instagram.

[Dale]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

There we go. She is hot. She's got great. Oh, she got no arms after the elbows. Do you have a lower half? So if you go to Disabled man. I'm not gonna be going there anytime.

[Brady]

I just found it.

[John Holmberg]

Why is there a Brady Sauce logo on that?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you go to disable cuties, Brady.

[Brady]

Says Brandon's for you because thanks for.

[Brett]

She looks like Flipper to our attention over here.

[John Holmberg]

She looks like the best version of Alicia Cuthbert from the early 2000s, except for her arms are missing after the elbows, and it's a birth defect because she doesn't even have biceps. She has never had to curl anything in her life. But she's beautiful.

[Brady]

If you're playing the wood, would you Game.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Oh, would I apply makeup?

[Brady]

Dabs it. Feet.

[John Holmberg]

I want to see that. She looks a little fat. Got that fat ass. She has to go make up for no arms.

[Brady]

One comment.

[Toledo]

Wait a minute.

[Brady]

How'd she push record?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's got a little tiny edge of that nub. She worked. Here's the fun part. Is that every guy I know, like, hey, homework's got a new guy out. Seen her? No. And she comes in and she uses her little half arms. Not one guy would be like, what are you doing? Like, they'd all get it. Dude, she's beautiful. All right, drum solo.

[Brett]

She could play.

[John Holmberg]

I hate to. I hate to say it. Will you please click on Disabled Cuties for a second?

[Toledo]

Do it.

[John Holmberg]

Let's see. Disabled Cuties is a full functioning Instagram.

[Toledo]

Page with 225,000 followers including.

[Brady]

Including Reggie.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Reggie's on disabled keys.

[Dale]

My man, Reg.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, nice job. Reggie Grayson, disabled. He loves helmet heads. This girl's got really effed up arms.

[Brady]

Baby hands.

[Brett]

I'm out of this.

[John Holmberg]

Growing off her elbows. Mom was laughing at me. What are my little hands gonna do? I'll tell you. She walked with her hands on her head for. Or her elbows. I'm in on this. Brett, you're out.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'm out, Blondie.

[Toledo]

I'll take this one.

[John Holmberg]

You don't like that one. All right, here's a girl stripping in a wheelchair. All these chicks in wheelchair chairs with great body. All right, I'm in. Well, she had to cross her own legs with her hands. She had to pick her leg up to cross again. All of these are good. Yeah, I'm in on this. Oh, I'm basically Nathan Sutherland on that one. Hand me a veg.

[Dale]

Out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, out on this. Every now and then this lady's. This lady's in a permanent squat.

[Brett]

It said cuties. What the hell was that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's got one leg, Prosthetic leg. And a real one. Now she's in jeans. You'd never know. There's the leg kicked up against the wall, very flexible because the other one isn't real. Yeah, she's a hot cripple. All right, next. Asian girl got a nub, right arm. Oh, she's getting. She's in her bra and panties. She's got one good hand. The other one is not. Oh, my goodness. What's this? Oh, and Jesus, half an army. What is going on with this beautiful woman?

[Brett]

I'm half heart.

[Dale]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

What? Oh, and then her lingerie is just hanging because there's no arm to put her. So the sleeve is. Now she's pulling her up to her. Smart. And now she exposes the nub. Man. Oh, man, I'm gonna be disabled cuties for hours. What's wrong with this one? No, left leg. She's doing a tick tock dance somehow. Still making it sexy. All right, next, next. This is a great thing. Girl at the beach. She's got a hand where her shoulder should be. Great boobs. International flare. She's going to be at the Bad Bunny show. There's a girl in her car. Gorgeous. What the hell's that? Oh, she's got a shoe off. Oh, her foot. She's very flexible. That's her disability. And her other leg is gonna be artificial. Oh, she's crippled. She's paralyzed from the waist down. So her legs are just noodles. But she's stunning. Yeah, she's just whipping her leg around, putting her boots on. She didn't even wear socks. Or she can't feel enough. She doesn't feel her sweat or anything. What's that one? Up top, man one up, up, up. That. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right there. A girl in underwear and a half shirt in a wheelchair. Somebody's making a wheelchair, man. Disabled cuties. Told you you weren't wrong. Oh, I got it. There's a girl with. In her workout clothes with one Arm. She doing push ups and stuff.

[Toledo]

Makes you want to know what happened.

[John Holmberg]

No, it doesn't. I got no questions except for will you marry me? This one is a mess.

[Sarah]

My outfit when I don't have help.

[John Holmberg]

Because my husband is at the office.

[Sarah]

So today I'm wearing a comfort colors T shirt, which is super easy to.

[John Holmberg]

Get on and try. No, I'm out on that one. She's not going the right direction either. It's gonna be tougher for them to keep it tight. This one got out of her wheelchair and her knees are attached and she is shaking like a leaf. She has all sor sorts of stuff wrong, but the body's outstanding. She looks like she's walking in an earthquake on snow. She's back in the chair and everything's normal again. Pull your arms down. It's getting weird. Disabled cuties is a good time suck.

[Brady]

She's loaded, man.

[John Holmberg]

You think? She's got a lot. She's got a nice backyard. Oh, no. Come on.

[Brett]

What happened to the cutie?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, where's the cutie part? She's gonna have a tooth growing out of her nose. Oh yeah, she does squats. This girl's got a good lower half. No left arm. She's proud of her ass. I just don't know how she wipes it. Yeah, get her a bidet. One more. She's fat. This is like crippled Sofia Vergara after a full meal. That's pretty good. All right, thank you. Thank you, Brady. For disabled cuties.

[Brady]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Go. And ironically, the word for 8 o' clock is beat. Not like the gross red dirt food. B E a t. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Brett]

Oh, it's my turn. Sorry, I was still disabled cuties over here.

[John Holmberg]

I like that. My friend Reggie was one of the followers cuz he's been in bed with a girl who wore a helmet before. What?

[Brady]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's great story. He likes them helmets.

[Brett]

We'll start off with a little.

[Brady]

Don't hear that too often.

[Brett]

A little construction going on here in this one.

[John Holmberg]

What? We got a bulldozer rolling through a dump of a town. Oh. And it goes across train tracks. The guy falls out of the bulldozer and then the bulldozer tips over on top of him and he's now a disabled cutie. Oh my goodness. He tried to race a backhoe across train tracks and lost it. It hits the back end. One dude flies out and the thing lands on it.

[Brett]

Crushes it.

[Toledo]

Oh, it.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't see the second?

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Other dudes up on the front wheel. Because in poor nations, people ride their cars.

[Brady]

They're just going to work.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, man. Well, trains win every time. You're gonna be about two minutes late for work today.

[Brett]

Okay, here's some more construction work going on.

[John Holmberg]

It's one of those things picking up a skiff and dumping it off. Right? It's got a lot of dirt in it. It's unloading the dirt from the back of this. Oh, it's the balance issue. The front end of the truck is standing up. Oh, it's going over to the side. Now it's going over to the. It's tipping. The whole thing's going over his earth. Okay, thank God. The driver just gets catapulted out on a cartwheel. It might be falling at one mile an hour. Oh, he tries to get out.

[Toledo]

That's why.

[John Holmberg]

And then he does a full flip. Does he land it? Oh, so close to landing.

[Brady]

It was just one.

[John Holmberg]

I thought it was a somewhere or another. Charlie Brown, that thing. Remember when Lucy used to hit Charlie Brown? He'd spin in the air and his clothes would come off. Evidently, all this guy's clothes fell off.

[Brett]

We haven't had any hot dog in videos from Brady lately, so we'll.

[John Holmberg]

We'll show this motorcycle wheelie. He's got a good wheelie going on a freeway.

[Dale]

Oh, he went too far.

[John Holmberg]

He's. Oh, God, he's got ass. Oh, they're showing ass. Road ration. There's his ass. Road rash. All the skin on his ass is gone. Nice ass, though. That's why you can hold a wheelie like cuties Next. Yeah, he's unstable. Cuties got a little red ass.

[Toledo]

Guy says, John, you've talked about how when you get home, your phone connects to the bluetooth inside. I'd love to know what happens when Pop pop gets home and disabled cuties pops up in front of Kirby.

[John Holmberg]

Thank God he's got those bluetooth hearing aids because now it just connects to that before it goes in the car. And you hear I lost my arm jerking a guy off. What are we listening to here, man? Come on. I'm still a child, man. Sorry. Curvid herbs. That was supposed to go right to Pop pops.

[Brady]

Ear holes.

[John Holmberg]

God damn, dad.

[Brady]

I'll get a little time on that. I just discovered that disabled cutie stuff. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

You got time to adjust?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Hopefully Kirby's at school. What are you doing in there, dad? Kirbs, do you have any friends missing anything? Like what? Hands or wallet or something that I'll ask All right, here's some lady boy, okay? She's putting a man's pee in a hot dog bun. That's a lot of carbs, lady. I still can't get past the bangs. Yeah, Thai bangs means lady boy to me. Oh, bueno. Filipino. I don't know what that is. All right?

[Brett]

And this could be the world's hardest orgasm happening right now.

[John Holmberg]

All right? It starts with Wiggum and. Oh, my goodness, what's this? She's dying. He's dying. It's like the Exorcist. Yeah, this is Regan Halloween. The power of Christ compels you. She just jumped to her feet from a prone position. Good Lord. What did your uncle do to you?

[Toledo]

Wow, look at that face.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. What is happening in this video? There's water shooting out of her like crazy. She just keeps doing that move where she goes from laying down to standing up, no effort. What is happening here?

[Brady]

That's good acting.

[John Holmberg]

That is not. Well, Brady assumes all those are fake.

[Brett]

That's it.

[Brady]

Women don't have AI.

[John Holmberg]

Women don't have orgasms. That's a myth. I don't know what I'd do if I was in. I'd run.

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the Pazuzu's gonna show up any second. The power of Christ compels you. If I ever say that during an orgasm. Hitchin head with a cross. Have you seen your daughter? Your daughter, Jesus, Regan, no more vibrators for you. Hello, Father Marin. I'm leaving. The word is beat. B E a T for 8 o'.

[Dale]

Clock.

[John Holmberg]

We'll have another one at 9. You got about 22 minutes remaining to put the word beat in the promo code on the app. Qualify you for 1000 bucks. It's that easy.

[Dale]

There goes your Brady report. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a control? Now let me introduce the world to something awesome. And again on our talk this morning about, you know, everybody, the sticks up your ass, people who act like they don't have any threads in their phone. They're bad. Making this national. You know, I was watching last night and I think it was somebody on cnn. It was that awful woman, Erin Burnett. I can't look at her face. I just don't like her face face. And so she's like these young Republicans started a text thread and they are dumb. It was dumb to be prominent political figures in certain areas saying what they were saying. But it just begged the. Like, she's got threads in her phone with Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon about silly stuff that would offend someone. Everybody's got something in their phone that would offend some group. So let's pull the sticks out of our asses and stop going after everybody for that kind of stuff. Stuff. And also a reminder that we all need to be smart and auto delete all of the threads again. If you're in a thread and it has anyone named Brady, Brett, or Doug in it, it's time for. Or Paul. Sorry. Or Paul, it's time for you to just delete every night before bed when you check your alarm.

[Brett]

Should probably do that right now.

[John Holmberg]

Delete. I did it. Of course. Delete it all again for my personal thing. And also, I have a friend named John Chambers. If John Chambers ever text me or I have to delete that almost immediately after, just in case something horrible happens in the phone. It's that. Have you seen that one Instagram thing where the girl's like, are you cheating on me? He's like, no, I don't know why you're bothering me. You are cheating on me. Let me see your phone. And then he kind of does a thought bubble of his last few texts with his friends. Just let me see your phone. Why don't you let me see your phone? He's like, yeah, I'm cheating on you. He will not give the phone because of his talk to his friend friends. But you've. Everybody's got that group thing. Let me introduce you to a woman who is now in trouble for the other thing we need to stop being angry about constantly. Susan Kobalarchik. She's a Brewers fan, and she was at a Dodgers brewers game, and this happened here.

[Dale]

Oh, why is everybody quiet?

[John Holmberg]

What is this?

[Brady]

I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

There it was. So a Dodger fan is making fun of brewers fans as they were up in the game pretty high. And she's like, real men drink beer. And he's got, like, a Happy Thursday, you know, vodka spritzer in his hand or whatever. And then she's like, real men drink beer. And he goes, why is everyone so quiet? And then she goes, we should call ice. And the dude turns and he goes, I'm an American and I'm a war veteran. She lost her job. We gotta stop that, too.

[Brady]

Did we prove that?

[John Holmberg]

That she lost her job or that it's not a. I. Well, no, we didn't, but still. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't look American to me. You look like Bad Bunny. He's Puerto Rican. It counts. But he. So basically, she lost her job, and I'M not one to stand up for this kind of stuff. But again, who hasn't, in a moment of anger, said something terrible to the guy who's winning the fight? And especially a woman. They. They're like baby scorpions when you. When you mess with them, they shoot all the venom. They don't have that borderline like, I better watch my tongue. This was a Dodgers fan, and the only reason she lost her job is because people at her. And she also had to retire from her position at the Make a Wish Foundation. Okay, I get it. But you can't be at a sporting event on the road, rubbing it into the home team and not expect somebody to lash out with something awful that they think will hurt you and only you. She was not being racist to all people, just him. She wanted to hurt his feelings. She lost her job because he was videotaping the whole thing. And the Brewer fans were tired of this dude. Dude, he was antagonizing. He was mad. And I'm not one to say, you know, that there shouldn't have been a retaliation, but the dude could have verbally gotten her. She doesn't need to lose her job. You don't screw with people's tribal fandom. We're irrational. You are an irrational person. You can't do it. So an apology would have worked.

[Brady]

Sporting event.

[John Holmberg]

A sporting event drinking. She might have some true feelings come out. She looked at this guy and thought, she doubled down. I'm gonna go for it. I'm throwing the nuke. And she did it. But he, in his own weird way, was asking for something horrible to be said. And if you're doing that, you're taking half of the fun of sports away. At least it wasn't physical like it used to get. Some guy would get lippy at a road game. He used to not be able to do that. This whole don't, you know, getting lippy on the road shouldn't happen. I go to a lot of Suns games, and a lot of the road team fans try to rub it into the Suns. Laker fans are the worst. They turn to Suns fans intentionally trying to piss them off. And then if they don't like what the retaliation is, you lose your job. That's not right. I'm fine with what he was drinking. The brewer lady tried that first. Real men drink beer. You've got some weird cocktail. She tried to kind of, what are you, gay? Is basically what she was saying. Yeah. And. And it didn't land. Didn't hit him, didn't care, like. And he just kept going, what this broad look like? She's a middle aged Wisconsin woman.

[Brett]

Okay, Never mind.

[John Holmberg]

With a Karen haircut. But she's the perfect. Oh yeah, she's the perfect prototype for what everybody goes as. She's fired. But let's just say you, when you know Ralphie May. I was reminded of Ralphie May's old bit by a friend yesterday and years ago, Ralph used to do a thing, says, I don't care who you are, you're a liar. If you say you're not racist and trash traffic, you'll say whatever it is that you think would piss off that person in the car in front of you that you're mad at. And if they're black, they're Mexican, or if you're black and the person's white, you will go down the road of things you are not allowed to say. It's a release valve. It's a. It's an extra. She threw the ice bomb. Here's the thing you have to remind yourself of. If a dude is filming something and trying to get your goat and you fall for it, you're going to get fired. Anytime anyone's holding a camera up and looking at you going, loser, loser. Responding's your worst option. But at sporting events, she should have.

[Brady]

Gotten fired just for acknowledging. Because you're losing, you don't say anything. Yeah, scoreboard says it all.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, she was losing.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she couldn't.

[Brady]

You don't fight.

[John Holmberg]

You don't fight back when, when your road guy is. Got the argument and. Yeah. And the scoreboard.

[Dale]

Yep.

[Brady]

It'll come back around.

[John Holmberg]

You know what the proper response is? It's tried and true, never fails you. It's beautiful. And then, you know, throw in the nuke. The nuke then becomes F, U, C word. You throw in the C bomb to close your fu. And everybody's like, wow, that middle aged Wisconsin woman has some. Jesus, she's got a mouth on her. And then most of the time, you.

[Brady]

Guys are definitely out playing us today.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, you're the winners today. And then you can say something a little racist. Like when you go back to your house with 14 people, I'm sure there's gonna be a huge celebration. And then he's like, what is that supposed to mean? You pissed him off. Now he's gonna say something dumb and he'll lose his job at Reliberto's. That's the kind of stuff we go for. But I blame the guy antagonizing the home team fans, trying to get him to say something dumb. And of course, it's a woman who'll do it, because men fandom is usually physical. Women fandom is, I'm gonna say, a horrible thing. She lost her job. She lost her position. She's the Brewer's care. It's a trap. I'll be honest. It's a trap. I don't think it's fair. Yeah, you got Akbarred on that one. That is a massive trap in a huge way.

[Brett]

Shooks like the Phillies broad, too. That stole the ball from the kid.

[Brady]

That doesn't help.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's her look.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Her look doesn't help her at all. It's a trap. Your haircut makes you everybody again. Back to judging a book by its cover, which works 95% of the time. You look at her and you're like, oh, boy, we got a Karen on her.

[Brady]

It would be standing ovation laughter as if it was a hot blonde.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was a hot blonde. Call ice. You bit. Well, she's also not gonna have a very important job, and she's certainly not working with the youth at the Make a wish. I don't want to catch it.

[Brady]

She might lose a crown of some.

[John Holmberg]

Sort that she's probably wearing either way. Yeah, a woman with that bi level 80s lesbian haircut screaming, we should call ICE. That's in the wheelhouse of getting your job.

[Dale]

You're.

[John Holmberg]

Once you cut your hair like that, you're pretty close to losing your job anyway. Anyway, because we just assume the next thing coming out of your mouth is going to be terrible. There's nothing you can do but the cameras, the observation. If somebody's filming you, do something. Level it back. Because it is like Brady said and like Admiral Akbar always taught us, it's a trap. It's always a trap when there's somebody holding their phone up, looking at you, saying, what are you going to do about it? Your next move, get you fired. And you're a Brewer fan. How passionate are you? I know it hurts, but the Dodgers have been there a million times. Chances are you're gonna lose this series. You just gotta have to eat it. You're Milwaukee. Take the good stuff.

[Brady]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

You know, you had the bucks a couple years ago. You're probably not gonna win any championships for a few years. Sorry, Green Bay. You're not Milwaukee. You're close, but they claim you. But it's not the same thing. So Brewer fans, nobody likes you anyway. Shh. Wasted call Ice. White women you gotta know better. It's a good zing, though.

[Brady]

It's funny.

[John Holmberg]

Really good thing. And a guy responding was solid. I'm an American. I'm a war veteran. It's like, ah, crap. I'm gonna lose my. I can't play with the handicap kids anymore. That's for sure. That that dream just died. But it's not fair. Sticks need to be removed from asses. We all need to unite over the fact that AI is about to take our brains. Let's, you know, we're all we've got. Let's make sure that we're kind of on the same page now with. All right, let's fight real fights. It's no longer worry about a.

[Brady]

We've got less than a year, people.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We've got 12 months to live before AI is our overlord. And we're working in the. The brain minds. It's true. Let's stop fighting over whether or not ICE is going to come for a Dodger fan. We all know that's right around the corner. You're the Dodger fans. You guys know. Yeah. Right at the gate. If ICE wanted big numbers, they just hang out at Chavez Ravine.

[Brett]

It's.

[Dale]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

They're known for it. You think we don't notice? King Taco. Go Doyers. We don't understand what any of that means, but we know it's prevalent. ICE is licking its chops at the Dodgers World Series. They're hanging around at the super bowl just because bad bunnies there go to LA for a Dodger game.

[Brady]

I just think of that time they did the super bowl ticket giveaway.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, The Sting. Yeah. Gave it to a bunch of guys with warrants and they all showed up.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Super bowl tickets, man.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then one dude. I know you. Yeah. One dude noticed that everybody there looked a little bit suspect again. How did you enter this contest? I didn't enter anything, man. They just called me. It's like, oh. One guy figured it out in amongst, like 90. I didn't enter anything. And they called me to what's going on around. Yeah. And then the cops came like, ah, crap. It's 8:42. We're just moments away from that glorious 9:00 word. Your 8:00 word beat is gone. I can throw that one out. And the next one coming up is ready at 9 and gets you qualified to win a thousand bucks. Then Dale comes in and ruins the show for an hour. It's 98. KUPD.

[Dale]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Just a few minutes away from giving you another word. By the way, guy agreeing with the lady in Milwaukee says, real life, real men drink beer. That's true. Signed Dylan Mulvaney. Oh, geez, I didn't. Yeah, Dylan is not a good example. Anyway. Yeah, the Milwaukee lady got. Got punched. She doesn't deserve it all the way around. I also got an email from a guy who was going back. He's a couple hours behind, which kind of throws the show off, but I enjoy still. He's like, listening this morning.

[Brady]

Morning.

[John Holmberg]

About the BJ thing and how it solves all the problems. And it's true. Marriage counselor, all this other stuff. Ladies, it's up to you. You've got all the. You've got every weapon. You want to save a marriage that you. Or save up and don't even have to be like, your marriage is in trouble. You can make life easier. I don't think they're interested in that. And Casey said, john, you're so right. If blowjobs were a prize on game shows and you were on Wheel of Fortune and they gave you the option of playing for money or a blowjob from Van, it would be a decision you'd have to think about. Like, not necessarily today, Vanna, but let's go back to awesome Vanna, like, you're playing for $10,000. Or I'm like, okay, I'll take the BJ. That's a great story for my friends and everything else. It would be questionable to be on a game show, like, even the Deal or no Deal, and you walk out of there with a couple hundred grand. And then all the models with the suitcases came in and said, we'd like to blow you for that money. You're like, yeah, I'm gonna have to think about that. How many? There's 31. Every day I get a new model from. Do I have to get the DEI one? The. The fat one. I'm not really interested in the one that they hired just because they didn't want to offend fat people.

[Brett]

I'll take one day off.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I'll take Thursdays off. And I'm gonna pick four of you that I don't like and the rest of you. Yeah, here's the. Here's the suitcase. I don't want it. We're a simple creature. Quit reading self help books, ladies. Quit acting like you need to go to a therapist and spend thousands of dollars. He doesn't listen. Oh, he'll listen if you. All you have to. I don't want to degrade myself. You don't want happiness. What you're saying out loud is, I just don't want to be happy. I'm not willing to do what it takes to be happy. Guys, just deep down, when a girl who's really nice to their friends and then at home says, scramble my guts tonight. Like, yeah, I'm gonna do all this. This is what this is. You're a dream woman. Anyway, I'm not a therapist, but I should be. The word for 9 o' clock is Doe Do G H like Doug Hopkins. If you didn't space the Doug from the H. Doe. It comes up on my phone all the time. Doe Hopkins. Evidently somebody didn't know who he was and saw it and said, who's this Doe Hopkins guy? And it ran on Wildfire on the Internet kind of for a little bit. It's very funny. My phone always corrects Doug to do because of Hopkins. My next letter is usually an h. So dough d o u g h is the word for 9am on the app. Get down there, take it in the app, put it in the promo code for nine, and you are all registered up for Thursday morning. Shannon's in for Fitz this week. I believe it's Fitz's birthday boy week, so he's out doing his thing. So happy birthday to our friend Fitz as well. And then at 2 o', clock, Shan Man's gonna help you out by giving you more of these qualifying words. And I don't want to say what the two o' clock word is, but it's. I will later have it written down so in case you miss it. But don't. You know what? I'm not going to give it to you. You got to play along. And then, of course, I've been telling you how radio executives have. I always. I always know that when something is leaning or weighted, it's broken. And then you find out that ratings are weighted for people who listen on. I don't know how it works, but certain things are way. Mexicans were always like, they used to be like 8 to 1 to a white person. So if a Mexican person listened to your station. Heavy. Like if somebody. Dude, if somebody was Gutierrez and they listened to kupd, you'd get the equivalent of like five white people. It was a man. Your ratings would just skyrocket. If a Mexican guy. Black people are like three to one. I don't know they ever did it for women, but I think they helped out who had whatever.

[Brady]

Irish didn't count.

[John Holmberg]

The Irish was zero. Like when you were Irish. It was like, you don't want that as ratings. We'd rather have. We'd rather had a. We'd rather had a zero than have an Irish audience. Take that, Boston. But with the app, when you listen on the app, it counts heavier. Because if you have. I've been talking about it all week. If you have earbuds in or if. If it's not audible, it doesn't count as ratings other than on the app. App, which doesn't. It only helps little bits of things it doesn't help, like actual rate. It's very difficult system. And this guy says, I used to listen to the app on my AirPods, but hearing you say that, it doesn't count anymore. I have it come right through my phone. The speaker. Is that better? Now my neighbors and me all get to listen to Brett say the word broad 15 times a morning. That's right. Yeah. You need other people to hear it for the ratings to catch it, I think. So stop listening on your headphones. That's all we're asking. Because it doesn't help us. It hurts us. And we know you're out.

[Brady]

Any meters on my block yesterday?

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

The tunes coming out of the Amazon truck.

[John Holmberg]

Is he blasting us? Keep that up.

[Brady]

Amazing.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not 100 sure how it works, but I've had a meeting here in the last couple weeks saying that people listen on headphones, don't. We don't get credit. And I'm like, well, what are we doing doing? I'll just tell them not to do that anymore. And they're like, be careful. I'm like, no, I don't care anymore. How's that against the rules? You're not allowed to talk about how people listen. Sure I am. They're listening now, doing a great job. Turn it up. That's all I'm saying. Make other people hear it too. That's it. And that's true. Guy said, john, what is your threshold on Wheel of Fortune for the Vana BJ versus money? I think, because they always have that $45,000 win. I think if I got that, I would take it over the Vana bj. But anything less than that, I'd consider the BJ and the car.

[Brady]

It's one round.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brady]

Twelve hundred bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Oh, my God. If they're giving away per round, I'm talking about, like, the final super Wheel, right? You actually spin that, it could be a million. Obviously, I'm keeping the million. I'm keeping anything over 45 because after taxes, you get like 28. And then I think BJ from Van White is worth $20,000 worth of stories. I think a couple years ago. Yeah, not now. Right. Back in the day, even still. Wait, you turned the money down and What? Yeah, then 74 year old Vanna White gave me a blowjob in the dress.

[Brett]

How much is the money? How much are we talking again?

[John Holmberg]

45 before taxes. That's my limit.

[Brett]

They give 45 grand.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Before taxes for the story of Vanna White because again, about 20, 25 to 28 in cash. After that, after all the fees and stuff hit you, I think, I think I'd take the van of BJ just to come back in here and go, you didn't take them. It's funnier because you didn't take the money. No, my God. Vanilla Bloomy.

[Dale]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

That's a better. The dude turned the money down because it's a better story. So I'd take that. The car they can keep. That's a process to win a car in a game show. You got, you get the base model, it's one you'd never roll. And I want to, I got to go through the process of selling it. And then. And they say you can take a cash equivalent, which is usually like a third of the cost of the car. You know, you can up the options.

[Brady]

You got to pay for it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you take the beach. Yeah, exactly. You get. And then you're buying a new car that you didn't even ask for. Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. I love that. Like. And they're doing a lot of Price is Right AI things too with like the guy in the wheelchair. Let's see what you've won with a treadmill, a new wheelchair. That happened. The one, the lady in a wheelchair actually won a treadmill on prices, Right? That's a guy. Guy in a wheelchair won a bicycle. That's AI, because then Bob goes, well, hop on. And that's how you know it's AI, because Bob never actually, it's. There's some good ones on there. Dale is going to join us a little bit. We'll talk sports, get our fanduel bets in and chat with Mr. Hellestra. Three time world champion coming up next. It's out of control now. There we go. All right, quiet down, you morons. It's time to shut up. Dale's already talking. It is Thursday, and that means a three time world champion from the Dallas Cowboys joins us to talk about sports. It's our sports hour and it is brought to you by our friends at diamond coatings. Oh, diamondcoatings. Az.com Did Brady's garage, did his tiles. Your.

[Dale]

Your.

[John Holmberg]

Your pavers.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Fantastic look. Did my sport court in the backyard with something very special we designed. And they got that thing done. And it is glorious. In fact, they're coming by tomorrow to take a nice little aerial photo because they were so happy with how it turned out. It looks cool. Steeler logos on a basketball court, Dale. You haven't lived until you've seen it.

[Dale]

Well, I think they also said they're coming and put a Super Bowl 30 trophy there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they can put all the Super Bowls in the trophy. Six trophies.

[Dale]

Super Bowl 30.

[John Holmberg]

There's six trophy. You can see a Super Bowl 30. You can add in is also ran. But there are six of them that we could do. In fact, I might have them come back and drop down some Lombardi. But you know what? I don't want to commit to just six. There might be more. So I don't, you know, just. It's just a. Never ending every few years. Well, I know. But every few years you got to do it again. It's just a lot of work, but. And they do it. That's how good they are. Diamond coatings. AZ.com gonna have them over again tomorrow. And a price surprisingly spectacular for what we did. I thought it was when I got hit with the bill. I'm like, all right, what's the bid on this? I. I expected big numbers. It was very reasonable. So it was really good. And it looks. You'll see. I'll put it up on the website soon. Anyway, welcome, Dale.

[Dale]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

To the big chatterbox of. And nobody wants to talk about sports. Listen to a little bread.

[Dale]

Yeah. Brett's been texting me all day yesterday. When we pull some bread, you want.

[John Holmberg]

A little real bread? Bring him some. Bring him some quality bread. Dale heard us talking about Brady's first concert with his uncle Mike.

[Dale]

I didn't hear the. I didn't hear the Uncle Mike.

[John Holmberg]

Uncle Mike took two second graders to bread. And I was in fifth grade. Whatever.

[Brady]

Cousin Jeff was in sixth.

[John Holmberg]

Sixth.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And it was a music. He had to.

[John Holmberg]

That's what he thinks. It wasn't. It was Uncle Mike.

[Brady]

That you had to do for music class. Go to a live concert.

[Dale]

Right.

[Brady]

And it was a Sunday family dinner, by the way. Do you want to go to the concert?

[John Holmberg]

That's also a lie. Fifth graders are not told. You have to go spend money at a concert for a. That's not a thing in ua. No, they don't. No, that's not a thing. Ua?

[Dale]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

Upper Arlington.

[Dale]

Oh, it's Columbus, not Arlene.

[John Holmberg]

It's called White. It's.

[Dale]

It's White Bexley. You know, rich enough to be from Bexley.

[Brady]

They probably have to go to a concert.

[John Holmberg]

No. Elementary school says, all right, your assignment is you have to go to a concert. Uncle Mike said, hey, get that sweet little cousin of yours, and we're going to take him over to Bread. And they drug you over there, and you've been fingered into repressed memory and you won't remember it for a while. And then Dale's comments about what bread does to you.

[Brady]

I remembered it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I bet you did.

[Dale]

What song were you from? Finger, too.

[John Holmberg]

I think it was this one. It was this one.

[Brady]

Hit after hit.

[John Holmberg]

It's easier to answer the ones that he didn't have a finger in. Two hour show.

[Dale]

This is a lot of good songs for Brett. He had me listening to it all yesterday. I was like, my God, I haven't listened to a bread song in 30 years.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there were. There were some comments you made about what bread's done to some ladies in your world. That I'm like, my goodness, Dale.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Basically, it's the KY jelly at SMU or something. I'm not sure exactly. Or Saro High School. I'm not sure when it started, but it's a. You were at Saro when this was going on?

[Dale]

I was probably transitioning. Yeah. So I didn't know. I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Congratulations. Thank God he did it. Cuz, if a woman looked like this. So glad you transitioned to being a man. Yeah. The bread.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's a solid.

[Dale]

Look at this. I'm. Seriously, John, this is good music.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Dale]

If you're sitting there on the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Why you gotta be a twink to, like. Am I a twink?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you didn't mention.

[Brett]

No, I mean, we're listening to what you enjoy. Apparently. I'm gonna.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm gonna AI.

[Brett]

Well, that was before the transition.

[Dale]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna AI surmise what Dale said yesterday to prove Brett's right. Essentially, Dale said it's the fastest way through the back door, which is his twink behavior. You guys, did he not. Don't make me read it.

[Dale]

No, hey, we've agreed. Oh, we're never going to do that to each other. What goes on?

[John Holmberg]

Sure, I agree. But that was safe. That's a safe note to say that you scrambled some butt guts to Bread. I mean, that's the sub broad.

[Dale]

Yeah, that's sub broad.

[John Holmberg]

Some. Yeah, that's.

[Dale]

There's nothing a 50 year old guy say, Bra.

[John Holmberg]

Well, what.

[Dale]

Who else would say a 90 year old.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. Right.

[Brady]

You're closing deals with this music?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Now, do you play these at weddings still? No. Because everybody is.

[Brady]

What's wrong with you?

[John Holmberg]

This isn't the Daddy Dance.

[Dale]

If you're driving a car, you're sitting in the back seat.

[John Holmberg]

This song comes on, you go right to sleep, Johnny. It's Bill Cosby's spray the door handle.

[Dale]

If it doesn't get you in, Johnny. The nose and the way or the ugliness because you think you're Brady.

[John Holmberg]

If I can't get my poop on, that's about it.

[Dale]

Pure bread song.

[John Holmberg]

So you're saying if I suck, if I'm in a situation like it may or may not be on bread should push it over the top.

[Dale]

You get the eight track and you put the bread.

[Brady]

Yeah. If you want poop.

[Dale]

Wiener.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. In my 77 Grand Prix. And then of course, if it doesn't happen, it's because I'm too ugly. Even bread can't fix it.

[Dale]

Even Brad can't fix it. Meanwhile, I mean, that's talent. This is talent right here. They'd rather that yelling and screaming you guys play on here.

[John Holmberg]

You know what's funny? Dale sings along with bread, but at the end he always adds a lyric.

[Dale]

Which is don't tell anybody.

[John Holmberg]

Because that's usually how he had to end each bread song. It hurts, Dale.

[Dale]

Bread. Bread doesn't hurt. Bread's good. Bread good.

[John Holmberg]

Of course. Frankendale likes bread. Bread good. Fire bad. Anyway.

[Dale]

How you doing, John?

[John Holmberg]

I'm doing well, Dale. It's good to see you.

[Dale]

I see your Steelers tonight. Night pullovers on and all.

[John Holmberg]

It's a pullover. Yeah, they got that clothes. They call them shirts and pants nowadays. But yeah. Pullover.

[Dale]

They got the little deal on the back that's.

[John Holmberg]

It's a hood. It's a hood pullover. I like that. You might as well call it a blouse, but okay, a pullover. It's a. Whatever.

[Brady]

You got a nice one of those from the Ravens?

[Dale]

I do.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. You got a couple of those. Yeah. Steelers tonight. Big night for Thursday Night Football.

[Dale]

I can't wait till I get invited over again. You're more than.

[John Holmberg]

You're all.

[Dale]

Door's always open because I. I got some more paraphernalia from the Ravens this year.

[Toledo]

Did you?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Got the nice hats and I'LL be sporting that one. Well, good. You can. You'll look just like Lamar on the sidelines.

[Dale]

Exactly like it.

[John Holmberg]

It's awesome. Yeah, because you guys have very similar look.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Very dumb and kind of lost. I'm just saying, if you're going to call me ugly the whole time, it's fair play, my friend.

[Dale]

I just said it once.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I did too. I called you ugly once and compared you to Lamar Jackson's horrible, goofy, awful face. Ugliest man in football history. Who's the ugliest guy you played with? Boy, if it's. If you can't name anybody, it's you.

[Dale]

Ugly.

[John Holmberg]

Ugliest guy you played with on the team. Just couldn't. I mean, looking at him was hard. Lamar would be a tough one. Walking through the locker room, you're like, oh, God, he looks like he's probably. Yeah, Plunket's not ugly. Plunket was kind of in the helmet. Plunket was super ugly. That helmet was way too small. Pumpkin head Plunkett, it. Yeah, there's some ugly dudes that have played football that Travis Hunter's running for ugliest guy. He's just a strange looking man, don't you think?

[Dale]

I. I guess I haven't seen him that close.

[Brett]

Well, Mark, top five for you.

[Dale]

Oh, yeah. No, no, not pretty.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Currently a top five ugly.

[Dale]

I mean, if him and I walked.

[John Holmberg]

Into a club, I'd even. Even I would say, yeah, Dale's gonna get laid down. Cue the bread. Hey, Dale, how come all the ladies pay attention to you? Lamar, you're scaring everybody. Everybody close your eyes. I don't know if those are human. How come dad is scrambling all those butt guts and I'm just sitting at the bar now?

[Dale]

Johnny, did you ever listen to bread growing up?

[John Holmberg]

Dale, I'm not. I'm not 80. No, growing up when bread was popular, I was three.

[Brett]

No, hang on, let me find out.

[Brady]

Yeah, I was 10 or 11 when I went to that.

[Dale]

You're only 10 years younger than me.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And you were a weirdo and I.

[Dale]

But it all had this. My fire up song to get ready for football and basketball game.

[John Holmberg]

No wonder it didn't work out in basketball. I. I know of bread because I was listening to music at a very early age. So I know these songs. The music was on at my house all the time.

[Dale]

Your parents listen to this?

[John Holmberg]

My. Yeah, my mom big into like pop radio, so we had make it with.

[Brett]

You was a number one hit in 1970.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I was under two.

[Dale]

So it probably hung around for a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. I mean, it's. You know, these were popular songs that stuck around for a bit.

[Dale]

1980.

[John Holmberg]

Was I a big bread fan as a child?

[Brett]

No.

[Dale]

Were you a hard rock when you were in high school?

[John Holmberg]

I was kind of all over the road. I liked. No, I like. Well, I liked, like, Peter Frampton. I was a big Beatles fan as a kid. Little boy. I liked what my mom listened to. My mom. My dad listened to ELO in Boston.

[Dale]

Did you. And your. Have you had your real. Because you get really upset when you talk about your real mom.

[John Holmberg]

I love my real mom.

[Dale]

Because. Because when I talk about your new mom, you can't really.

[John Holmberg]

She's not my mom. Yeah, because that's not my mom. That's.

[Dale]

I don't see. You react to things very much, right.

[John Holmberg]

Because you. Because I realized the day that everyone said, hey, you met your mom. I'm like, that's not my mom.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't know why I was that way. So I play that. But it is true. It's like. No, don't call her my mom. My mom is a. I know my mom well.

[Dale]

What is this new one?

[John Holmberg]

It's my dad's wife. It's the. My dad scrambles her butt guts to bread.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They listen to bread together. She gets butt gut scrambled England.

[Brady]

You.

[Dale]

You. Are you. You're overly protective of your mom.

[John Holmberg]

Not overly protective.

[Dale]

Yes, you are. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

All right, maybe.

[Dale]

I mean, the way you. You bow up. That's my mom.

[John Holmberg]

You can talk about my mom.

[Dale]

I don't talk bad about anybody's mom.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's not true. You've said terrible things.

[Dale]

No, I just. I said, you got two moms. It's okay.

[John Holmberg]

Don't have two moms. Yeah, you don't have a mom anymore. After, like, 40. If some new lady's in your life, she's not your mom. You don't need one.

[Dale]

Or you're a weird call. Or Stephanie or.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, I call her Stephanie, but her name's Shauna. I just call her Stephanie. No, I call her Mommy. No, I don't say Mama.

[Brady]

Mama.

[John Holmberg]

I call her Shauna.

[Dale]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Or Mrs. Holmberg.

[Dale]

And what do you call your real mom?

[John Holmberg]

Mom. What do you call your.

[Dale]

What do you call the person who you came out of?

[John Holmberg]

Mom?

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, wait a minute. Be more specific. I call her Mom.

[Brady]

Mom.

[Dale]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Why wouldn't I call her Mom?

[Dale]

I. I don't know. You just seem overly protective, like somebody who's, you know, been still suckling. Sucking at the.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Brady]

Careful.

[Dale]

Yeah. I think you're a kid who probably was breastfed till he was in first grade.

[John Holmberg]

Still doing it. Yeah. Delicious. You haven't had it. Room temp milk. Forget about it. Mom still lactates. I still go in after the show.

[Brady]

He's picking up the laundry. Should be done.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. She's a good mom.

[Dale]

Why is little Johnny acting up after nap time?

[John Holmberg]

I had my milkies. Johnny needs milky. No, I don't. I don't think I was breastfed at all.

[Dale]

No. Would you put you.

[John Holmberg]

No. I think my dad was like, nobody's wrecking those.

[Dale]

Really? Your mom had a nice.

[John Holmberg]

She had nice cans.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Real nice. Yeah. All my friends noticed.

[Dale]

You were saying I suckled at that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I don't think I did. I would. I probably was a pretty envious kid. Like, geez, this does. Why is my dad always getting old and all that? I don't know. I don't know what was going on there, but I'm pretty sure I think.

[Brady]

You'Re a Similac kid.

[John Holmberg]

Probably. I don't know. I think maybe she gave it a couple of tries and she's like, no. 2 turned on Dana ruined them, probably.

[Dale]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I was so sexy, even as a baby. Yes. That's it, Dale. That's what my mom said during breastfeeding. Why is the chair so ruined?

[Brady]

The nose got in the way.

[John Holmberg]

That could be.

[Dale]

I was looking at that. I was thinking, maybe. How do you turn the baby's head?

[Brady]

You can go sideways on it.

[John Holmberg]

If they weren't made of stone, you can mash them. No, I don't know. I don't know if I was breastfed. I have to. I'll actually ask him.

[Dale]

I'll ask you ask both of them.

[John Holmberg]

If my dad was breastfed or the other mom, Stephanie. Well, yeah, I'll ask Stephanie if I could take a swig at one. See if we see whose milk tastes better, real mom or new Mom.

[Dale]

Does your new mom have good cans, too?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dale]

You just started.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Cause you made me think of it. You made me think it, and I did. I don't know. I haven't even looked. I honestly haven't looked. I have not. No, I haven't looked. I haven't looked. I don't. I don't think. Look, I don't think my dad would tolerate bad ones, so I'm gonna have to go ahead and lean on the side of who?

[Brady]

I don't see her out of the park.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Dan wouldn't like if they were sloppy, messy. I don't think Dan would play games.

[Dale]

I mean, you, you, you. You have not visited them in Texas.

[John Holmberg]

They're too far away.

[Dale]

And just accidentally catch a glance of her getting out of the shower?

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. I've been in the shower with her, but she's always facing the other way, so I don't know if her cancer, the. Yeah. They live too far away. It's too much of a hassle. I don't think I love anybody that much.

[Dale]

It's your dad.

[John Holmberg]

I know he can come here. I live in a city. He lives where I have to fly to another city.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then drive to him. And I'm just not doing that.

[Dale]

What city in Fredericksburg. Oh, that. Big time. Fredericksburg.

[John Holmberg]

It's got no airport.

[Dale]

I tell you who flies there. I tell you who flies there.

[John Holmberg]

Jerry Jones.

[Dale]

Yeah. Private jet.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a place.

[Dale]

Johnny. Private jets.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But. Okay, I have a friend. I have a friend with one.

[Dale]

You're gonna turn down $100,000 to get. Get oral sex from Vanna White?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Dale]

74 year olds.

[John Holmberg]

Vanna White, somebody. Well, it's still a great story. Somebody said if they offered, and I know Margot Robbie, Dua Lipa are the two go tos. But if that was a prize over the money, it wouldn't even be a question. If that was jeopardy. I'd study for months. Oh, yeah.

[Dale]

No, but there is a number.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's always a number for any dua.

[Dale]

No, where you say, give me the money.

[Brady]

It's do a. Oh, 45 grand.

[Dale]

Is it 45 grand for.

[John Holmberg]

For Vanna and she's in her 80s. Dua lipa. I would probably. Would have to get close to like a million dollars for me. Yeah. If Dua lipa. If I had a million dollars in a suitcase or it's the. It's the indecent proposal. It cost me a million dollars to have 24 hours with Dua Lipa.

[Dale]

No, no, no. Yeah. You got two minutes. Maybe a minute.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe. That's what I'm saying.

[Dale]

You ever heard of a minute?

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Okay.

[Dale]

What'd you just say?

[Brett]

Best minute you've ever heard of.

[John Holmberg]

You know what they call it, Dale? They call it the million dollar minute. I don't even know if I would like. It would be so disappointing that it would be.

[Dale]

It would. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Like, I probably wouldn't even get hard. I'd be too excited. That would be good because then we just lay there and talk she had the. The deal is she has to finish. She has to finish.

[Dale]

So how about the Steelers? Do I. Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How about watching Aaron Rodgers? Thoughts? All I want to do is have oral sex, John. I know, I know. We'll get to that. I just want to talk for a minute. I'm kind of nervous. Yeah. That game show. That's an idea. That is an idea right there. Cuz. Men are simple animals.

[Dale]

Billion dollars. You. Come on, you can. You can fantasize.

[John Holmberg]

We talked about it this morning. Men are simple animals. All this money that goes to therapy, all this marriage counseling books. It's a full section. All women need to do is just pull the stick out and whenever we're mad. Mad. Play with the tip and we stop being mad. It's this. It's the solve. And they won't do it. And it's because we're dumb. That's the thing though. They won't accept it.

[Brady]

They're mad.

[Dale]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

When they're mad, it's not gonna work. But what would they ever be mad at if they did that all the time? We would never piss them off. Here's the thing.

[Dale]

I've been married 37 years and if you look back over all the arguments we've had over 37, what would have fixed the one that were like legitimate arguments. Yeah. Less than 5. Most of it's stupid.

[John Holmberg]

It's all dumb.

[Dale]

And yes, you're correct. Johnny. You. You, you get your get therapist of the year.

[John Holmberg]

Totally agree. Thank you, Dale. I've been saying that for a long time.

[Dale]

You're the greatest.

[John Holmberg]

I'm the go to therapy. Save that Toledo. I see.

[Brett]

I agree.

[John Holmberg]

I spent zero time in school. And I think Dale's right. I might be the best that's ever done. Done it.

[Dale]

And it's so simple. Yep. And you can close your eyes and you can pretend it's somebody else. You don't have to look at John while you're.

[John Holmberg]

You think of somebody else to solve your life problem. And they're so into like wellness doctors and taking pills for gut health.

[Dale]

I want to go pay $200 an hour.

[John Holmberg]

God forbid they get bangs. That's every three weeks to a hair. They got to keep up with that. Everything's got to be on point. Got to be on point. You're mad at me or I'm mad at you. And then they're like, no, I'm not fixing. Fixing this. Everything is. Everything's proactive. They go to the doctor when they're well. They have wellness days.

[Dale]

Belt comes Off. All the problems are gone.

[John Holmberg]

All gone.

[Dale]

Well, I don't even know what I was arguing with.

[John Holmberg]

All she has to say is, I get so turned on when you're mad at me. This doesn't fix it. And then it does, because it fixes everything.

[Dale]

You're gonna walk away? Go. I don't even know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care that I was mad at you. I'm so sorry.

[Dale]

You're right, Johnny. Congratulations.

[John Holmberg]

I know.

[Dale]

But they won't charge 200 bucks an hour for that.

[John Holmberg]

They think what I'm saying is sexy, sexist. But what I'm saying is men are too stupid to combat that.

[Dale]

Because here's the way. You know, you're right. Because if women enjoyed it as much as men do, then if a man went down on a girl, then it would all go away. But no, that's not gonna fix things.

[John Holmberg]

We like things too much.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They don't like when we like things too. If we start showing interest, they start going, what's that? Is that gonna replace me?

[Dale]

Take one for the team.

[John Holmberg]

Take one for the team. We need a buddy. You know, that's why all men. Men, we should consider this.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

All men should have a kind of a slutty gay friend who every once in a while, you just go, roger does it. What's wrong with you? Watch this. Call Rod. Roger. I want a bj.

[Brady]

See?

[John Holmberg]

In a second. And he's right there. How come it can't be like that?

[Dale]

Who's your buddy?

[John Holmberg]

Brady or Stebbings?

[Dale]

I talk about Stebbings.

[John Holmberg]

I'd let both these guys blow me.

[Dale]

But who would be your choice?

[John Holmberg]

My buddy Mark Stebbings and I have been friends since fifth grade and have had zero fights in our entire existence.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And we always talk about it like we should have been gay, but we were born this way. It's ruined all the hair and feces. We can't think about that. But we'd have had so much money and just been. We'd have been playing one on one basketball every day. Blowing each other, spooning, napping, getting up, fighting.

[Dale]

All right, so you're really, really, really, really mad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Who are you choosing between Brett and.

[John Holmberg]

Brady to figure I'm mad at the whole room.

[Brett]

Included.

[John Holmberg]

Inconsolable. I'm inconsolable. I'm so. I'm so mad at the whole damn staff. You guys have let me down, and one of them has to step up.

[Dale]

Word for your app. You're. You're mad.

[John Holmberg]

One of them has to step up and do it. All right. I got. I got the order.

[Dale]

And they're both. Yeah, I can see. Brett would go choose me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

I can't. Like, I. I would do it. Brett would put in the best job. Brett's blue collar.

[Dale]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

I think Brett, you would.

[Dale]

You'd be.

[John Holmberg]

You'd be the best at.

[Dale]

Because Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Brett's like, look, Brett is a. Brett's a fixer. Brett's like, I need this to. He's pragmatic. He's like, if this fixes it, I'm going to do a good job. We're going to get out of here. This is it, Brady. I would do it for the laughs and the tears. Like, Brady would cry the entire time knowing that his Lord Jesus is just. It's done. It's abandoned. And that would be for sure if I was not really that mad. But only a blowjob solved it. Brady's my guy. Because then I get. I get a few laughs out of it if I need to be consoled. And it has to be good work. You want some sleep afterwards. It would pass a few exams after. Yeah. Like. Like the. It. It matches all the CC and RS and all the standards of what a BJ is. Bret, your guy. Brady be messy. He'd be sloppy. They'd be crying. He would talk sometimes. I don't know if we should. Like, it would have to be. Shut up.

[Dale]

Do you think both would swallow or.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, Dale, are you drunk?

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We do have to take a break. I don't know, Brad. You know what, Dale? I'm gonna put him to the test. I'm gonna get back to you. Brady is not a go we ever thought about it. Well, I am now. I'm not gonna lie to you. Like, you've placed it.

[Dale]

No, no. Brady's not. He's not.

[John Holmberg]

He's not either. Neither of them are gonna do that. He. Like, when. When the. When the. When the closing moment, Mario, when Enter Sandman plays and it's about to end. Brett's gonna be like, go. He's getting out of the way. Like he's getting shot at. Brady would just go. It's everywhere. He'd cry. It's in his nose.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, what a pleasant sports chat we've had so far today.

[Dale]

Did we win last week?

[John Holmberg]

You owe everybody 33 bucks.

[Dale]

No. Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, so do you. Oh, we're level then. Did you pick Washington?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Okay. So. Yeah, nobody owes anything, so they're. Yeah, he used to owe everybody 33 bucks.

[Dale]

He said that last surgery. I'll fire it over there.

[Brett]

I had a bunch of stuff going on.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry. All right, we're gonna take a break. When we come back.

[Dale]

Hey, you could just. You could fix it another way too.

[John Holmberg]

Got some bread playing.

[Dale]

Yeah, there we go. I'm so mad at you, Brett.

[John Holmberg]

And only one thing fixes this. It does. It fixes.

[Dale]

Get over here, you big problem.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think. I don't think it works between a dude's fight and we just have a fist fight and end it like that. Yeah.

[Dale]

Women, you. Hold on. Have you gotten any feedback on your therapy session? Did people agree with you?

[John Holmberg]

Every guy's like, this is. I'm taping this. I'm sending this to my wife. It's so true, and we're so simple. And the one guy nailed it on the email. He said, women think we have layers, and they're trying to get to. We don't.

[Dale]

No, there's no layers. I see these things on Facebook or X or whatever. It's like, I wonder what he's thinking. I'm thinking about the Steelers are going to win tonight. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm thinking of the Steelers. And I'm like, I'm going to fucking play alone. Like, the only thoughts that go to my mind is Brett's last. Last meme was really funny. That's always. We're not deep thinkers. We can talk about anything. We don't really care about anything.

[Dale]

You go for four hours. You come home, your wife goes, how's John?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Dale]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

My friend Chris got so sick the other day at my house.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That he's like, you got to drive me home. And I'm like, really? He goes, did you eat something? Yeah, it was one of those. One of those. Yeah. He was eating stuff. It was. Yeah. And I filled him up, but he. He got food poisoning, and it hit him while he was at the house. He goes, I'm not gonna be able to drive. I'm gonna go out. We're driving back, and he's like, pull over. And he lives like a mile from my house. Pull over, pulls over. He's throwing up for five minutes solid non stop. And they got him good. He gets back in the car, goes in the. Drop him off at his house. I'm like, you all right, buddy? He's like, yeah. I'm like, all right. I leave him. I get home, but two hours later, Megan's like, have you checked in on Chris? No. What if he's Dead. I guess I'll find out tomorrow. Like, somebody will call me. You don't care. I'm like, if I text him and he's dead, he's not answering anyway. You guys are jerks to each other. I took him home.

[Dale]

Yeah, that was way above.

[John Holmberg]

Totally.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Could have gotten him an Uber. That's a mile.

[Brady]

He would have taken you home.

[John Holmberg]

Well, maybe, but he wouldn't have called me every five minutes. I don't care if he's better. I don't want to hear him throwing up.

[Dale]

You might check in middle of the week and go, hey, you doing all right, buddy?

[John Holmberg]

The next. Well, that later that night, because I'm selfish and not layered, I started to feel bad and I'm like, did we eat the same thing?

[Dale]

Yeah, well, that's.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I thought. Cuz I'm like, my stomach's starting to go. And it was fine. Turned out I was fine. I just. Sympathy kind of.

[Dale]

Where did the food come from, John? Vietnamese food.

[John Holmberg]

This was. This was on Monday. And we both had pizza together Sunday. So I'm wondering if it was that. But it wasn't. It was. He just got something else. Anyway, I don't care. I haven't called him all week. He still might be alive if you just shut up. Listen to some bread. All right, all right, I'll do that.

[Dale]

I don't care about Chris.

[John Holmberg]

Oddly enough, guy.

[Dale]

Yes, I see him again. I don't see him again.

[John Holmberg]

And you're not going to call CVs, neither am I. And he's a friend. We got Dale here. We'll talk sports picks. And I've got an interesting statistic that might change everything here. We'll chat up that in the FanDuel picks next. It's out of control now. 98.

[Dale]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

All right, all right. Stop yelling.

[Dale]

We're back on the steering wheel.

[John Holmberg]

Here. Real quick. This is what Dale said earlier. That's all we needed to hear. Ever again. That is now. Couldn't agree with that more. Dale, hella straits here. I gotta ask you a question before we move on with the picks and we'll get to the entertainment drill. This is fascinating. We'll talk about it on the podcast. We do the sports thing. Otherwise known as the John Holmberg Sportscast with temporary permanent guest Dale, Hell Stray and the rest temporary.

[Brett]

Now, he was permanent last week.

[Dale]

No, I'm permanent. We got temper.

[John Holmberg]

Nash is. Nash is the rest temperature.

[Dale]

And once there are more than 100 listeners that kind of listen to this show, he goes, I'm going to put my name on this thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

And then it started off with him going, you do.

[John Holmberg]

You.

[Dale]

You do the show and I'll be a cast.

[John Holmberg]

I just wasn't sure I wanted to.

[Dale]

Be in a room.

[John Holmberg]

Then I realized I could help. We'll talk about this.

[Dale]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Have you to a tongue of a loa and what he did in a press conference after the game. And then yesterday, Jonathan Gannon lights up the meeting with what he said about Michael Vick, which I don't remember. I don't know if you saw that.

[Dale]

I did not see.

[John Holmberg]

Yesterday asked him a simple question that said, at what point in your career did you realize that you can't be emotional about the game because injuries happen and things like that. And you can't be emotional when you move a player out of a starting job because Brissette and Kyler are kind of in this thing. And he said, oh, that's easy. When my quarterback got arrested and he just like dropped the mic and left. And you forgot he was with that staff when Michael. Village pick. Was it. Was it with Atlanta when the dog stuff broke? Yeah. So he's like, oh, I realized right then and there, don't get too close to these guys.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This is an emotion. Is that real for the team?

[Dale]

Yes, it's very real. Now, the, the, the interesting thing is when I know they were asking him other questions. You hear these other coaches talk. It's. I'm sure radio's cutthroat. I'm sure a lot of business are because there's no more cutthroat than football, than pro sports.

[John Holmberg]

Pro sports in general.

[Dale]

But football and baseball, you're talking about guaranteed contracts and things like that. Are you playing this? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You can if you want.

[Brett]

Early in your career, did you have.

[John Holmberg]

To start trying to figure out how to take the emotion out of coaching as far as when you have all.

[Brady]

These injuries and you have all these different pieces.

[John Holmberg]

When's the first time that you can recall that? 2007, when our quarterback went to jail. I love that he said it that way because it was so like, this is proof I'm not emotional.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Like it was. I am. These are moving chess pieces to me.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They're barely human.

[Dale]

Well, so you asked two questions. You talked about two.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, the two things.

[Dale]

Team meetings and.

[John Holmberg]

But is that. Why are. I guess what I'm asking is why are football players so fragile that if one guy steps out of line, the whole team falls apart? They don't rally.

[Dale]

But hold on here, John, who Are we talking about. Are we talking about a Super bowl contender? We talk about guys trying to fight for their job.

[John Holmberg]

I'm talking about guy with a C on a show.

[Dale]

We're talking about the Miami Dolphins.

[John Holmberg]

They're in trouble.

[Dale]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

So wouldn't it make sense that somebody steps out and says the reason. The problem is nobody's talking about it. Troy Aikman did it and he was allowed.

[Dale]

I played 17 years in the NFL. I've never, ever, ever two and 14. I won three. Super. Never had a team players only meeting in the first week ever.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. That is true. But camp went so bad. Right.

[Dale]

Something's wrong.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Dale]

All right. And so again, maybe. And then if the one thing is, if you're a player and you don't show up to a player's meeting, you're screwed. Your team screwed.

[John Holmberg]

So anyway, well, that's what I'm saying is like, why is it that everything's like, in house, in house, in house, but if a guy's not showing up, you can't see, say, he's the problem?

[Dale]

Well, see, I think good teams will do that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's what I feel. Okay, so it comes back to just being a sucky franchise.

[Dale]

Let me tell you, Jane, over check, he's cutting it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

And you tell somebody and maybe you mentioned on your.

[John Holmberg]

So if I've got to see on my jersey, I got to see on my jersey. You come to me and say, do something about this. And he has to.

[Dale]

Yes. And if Troy calls a players only meeting, which I'm trying to remember, maybe during Switzerland, we might have had one. No, because I had a players meeting with Troy about Switzer.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you did?

[Dale]

Yeah, I forgot because he was. Troy lost his mind. We went to an NFC championship game. Troy threw three picks and we lost.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Then we won a Super Bowl. They made the playoffs the following year and we were old and you got trounced. Yeah. But I think Carolina or Carolina was Carolina. Carolina. And Troy's going to go. Well, it's all because of Switzer. No, it's not. No, it's not.

[John Holmberg]

But anyway, Troy's just a competitor.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Let's get to the picks. Brady and I have the Bengals in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh going into Cincinnati Thursday, Flacco in Cincinnati.

[Dale]

I thought. I really thought. I really thought that he might lead.

[John Holmberg]

Him to a victory last week almost. But somebody's going to get flaccoed. He does it. Interesting statistic. Under Mike Tomlin as a road team on Thursday, The Steelers are 2 and 9. They covered the spread two times.

[Brady]

Did we play Thursday last year?

[John Holmberg]

Thursday, I don't remember. Beat us at the end of the year? I don't remember. I don't know. But it's a. It's a weird one. It's a weird little thing. Steelers do not have good short weeks. They just don't.

[Dale]

Because one thing you're going to look at and go, well, this year's team is different than last year's team, but 2 and 9.

[John Holmberg]

2 and 9 over 14 year period on road games on Thursday. So in the Steelers Bengals game. Brady, I'm going to leave it to you to pick the game and I will, I will add something from that game to our. To our picks. Who's going to win it, Steelers or Bengals tonight in Cincinnati. Flaco, five and a half points.

[Brady]

Five and a half points.

[John Holmberg]

You want the points? You can go there, there. Make it snappy. Let's go.

[Brady]

I'll take the points.

[John Holmberg]

The band, the Bengals plus five and a half. I'll say anytime. Touchdown score. Darnell Washington.

[Dale]

Who's Darnell Washington?

[John Holmberg]

300 pound tight end that is just going to mop the league up soon. They're starting to use him, right? For the first time in a couple of years.

[Brady]

He's a giant.

[John Holmberg]

Darnell Washington will be a guy who scores a touchdown.

[Dale]

So how do we figure out when you two lose, who pays?

[John Holmberg]

Well, if we both lose, it doesn't matter. I don't like that. If my bet hits and his loses and he's the only loser, then he pays all of us.

[Dale]

And if his bet hits, the bet.

[John Holmberg]

Has to go 3 for 4 for the guy's bet to go. If we both missed like you and Brett did last week, nobody pays anything because the thing was a half who The Bears have Saints in Chicago and taking the Bears. Four in a row for the Bears. Look at the Saints. Yes.

[Dale]

For the, I don't know, local product.

[Brett]

I'm going Saints straight.

[Dale]

Hold on.

[John Holmberg]

Straight up. Bears.

[Dale]

How can you. Everybody's on Aikman. Supposedly he was really hard on poor little Caleb Williams.

[John Holmberg]

He was.

[Dale]

Whatever. And Caleb Williams didn't show up for his interview. And probably getting that right. Pinky finger painted pink. He had his manicure going so he missed the media meeting.

[John Holmberg]

Four in a row.

[Dale]

You're really four in a row?

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brett]

Against the Saints.

[John Holmberg]

Against Saints, Chicago. That all right. Four and two Bears. They were four and two last year. Dale, your Cowboys are taking on a commander in Dallas. Oh, Dale's. Dale's out. That's the Noise. I like when Dale makes that noise. Oh, do you need a bucket? You need a bucket.

[Brady]

That's not a good.

[John Holmberg]

What's going on over there? What's in that glass Swallow. I have heard that before. Ko. Isolate that, too. Isolate.

[Dale]

John, you're so big. John, you're so big.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Why are you choking? Thank you, Dale. All right, Cowboys commanders in Dallas.

[Dale]

Dallas can't stop Covid for Friday, and that's nothing. Yeah, I mean, with three boosters.

[John Holmberg]

You like Washington in Dallas coming off a loss on a short one week.

[Dale]

I'm g. I am going to go with the commander. All right? I go with the commander. I just don't. I don't think Dallas can stop them.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think Dallas can stop them? But they can't. Can. Can. Can the commander stop Dallas again?

[Dale]

I can see it be a 40:37 game again. And Dallas finding a way to lose.

[John Holmberg]

All right, our bet is $2,292. Oh, if we win it.

[Dale]

So Brett cost us money last week.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and you. And you now.

[Brett]

You did, too.

[Dale]

Brad cost the money the week before.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he's gonna pay us.

[Brett]

And you did the week before that.

[John Holmberg]

With your tie. Yeah, with your stupid tie.

[Dale]

Why you call me, man?

[John Holmberg]

You know what? Leave it to me, Dale. I'll fix this. You two are mad at each other. I've got the solution. Thank you, Dick Toledo.

[Dale]

Get this show recorded so we can get to the podcast.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Dale]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. 2300 win for that one.

[Dale]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

I'll take my hundred out of that and we'll split it. So, boys, I hope we get it. And Darnell Washington is the key. That's a big one right there. All right, let's get to the entertainment drill and get the hell out of here. Great job, Dale. Hell Astray Sports report brought to you by diamond diamond coatings. Az.com. they can take care of just about anything. They've got counters in the backyard. You've got a barbecue. You got cement. You got pavers, garage floors. They got it all. They can figure something out. And what they did to my sport court. When you see that online here in couple days, I'll let them take the photos. My God. Couldn't be happier. Awesome things. And if you've got a piece of property and you want to just boost up that concrete, you won't be. You'll be blown away how much visual value that adds. Diamond coatings AZ.com it's time now for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by my [e-mail] home of Tactical Black. I already talked to Jay and Josh about that thing I told you earlier about people spraying, you know, the sides of your car and things like that. They have cop friends they've talked to and they're putting it to the test up there. There's already got a plan going for, you know, somebody doing that kind of thing. And isn't just self defense against attacks. It's self defense against. If I see this, what do I do? Some dude spraying the car.

[Dale]

You beat the crap out of him.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, Dale, that's escalation. That is wrong. You leave it to the authorities. The dude might have acid in the spray thing. He's hit me in the eyes. You're a dumbass opposite of what Dale did. Tactical black is not what tactical dumbass does. Be smart. See, this is the difference between what they teach you and what people think. Perfect commercial for them right now.

[Dale]

If I see Brady sprayed some on my car, he's going down.

[John Holmberg]

All right? He'll never catch me. That would be a. That would be a foot race I'd love to watch down the street. That would be Benny hill.

[Dale]

One kidney versus one.

[John Holmberg]

Dale completely sold it. Reactdefense.com Most of you think like Dale. You're wrong. They'll find. Fix it. It's the home of tactical Black, Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

Al Pacino and Robert de niro are celebrating 50 years of friendship in a winter ad campaign. It's called Montclear. It's a luxury men's clothing in women's, too.

[John Holmberg]

But Moncler, I like my new clothes.

[Brady]

Don't you like your clothes out the ad?

[John Holmberg]

Nice. Nice being friends with you for a long time. We've been friends for a while. They're friends. 50 years we've been friends. Even though the Godfather came out 55 years ago. I like you. You like me. What are we going to do about it? We're going to go homosexual. I don't know. I've heard things.

[Brady]

Two Dodgers playing won't stay.

[John Holmberg]

You got a great ass, De Niro. Thank you, Al.

[Brady]

Two of the Dodgers won't stay in the team's hotel while they're in Milwaukee. It's called the Fister Hotel.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

And it's haunted.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. God. Oh, the Mexican place.

[Dale]

How's that spelled?

[John Holmberg]

Brady start with a pf. Okay, good. Like the faucet.

[Brett]

Bread's playing in the background while they're at the Fister.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm not staying at the Fister. They're not kidding. The name says everything. I thought it was just a thing, but it's real. I guarantee you they're the. They're Mexican players.

[Brady]

Teosco Hernandez.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady]

Mookie Betts.

[John Holmberg]

Mookie Betts is afraid of ghosts.

[Brady]

And he stayed there before, but he says, I didn't sleep the whole time. I just kept hearing noises.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was because of the Milwaukee squish you had in your room.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Tasker Hernandez doesn't surprise me because I think he's Dominican and they're into voodoo and stuff, so. Ghosts are scary. All of them, by the way, generalized sweeping statement. All of the Dominican Republic people are afraid of ghosts.

[Brady]

His reason is Tiasca says, I'm not afraid, but I brought my wife with. With me, and she won't stay there.

[John Holmberg]

No. She gets mad at him every time there's another person in his room. So they have to go, ghost or otherwise, because he'll bang him.

[Brady]

Someone put out the stats of Travis Kelce's receiving yards and touchdowns. It's improved since Taylor came out with the song Wood, which is talking about his crank.

[John Holmberg]

Giant redwood pee pee.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Johnny. Johnny, you ever have a girl write a song about you? You?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lacking.

[Dale]

Called lacking.

[John Holmberg]

No, it was called Deep.

[Dale]

I wish it was deep.

[John Holmberg]

It's called Deep. I don't know if you said there was another one.

[Dale]

Oh, that was. That was a song called Shallow, right?

[Brett]

No, no, no.

[Dale]

Deep.

[John Holmberg]

And there was a. There was another song called Ocean Eyes and Browntown was another one that was written about me. Why won't he love me? And that was. Several women wrote that song. It was weird.

[Brady]

Pope Leo was in the Pope Mobile the other day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Acknowledged Cubs fan flipped him off.

[John Holmberg]

Crowd gave him the finger. The holy finger.

[Brett]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

He's.

[Brady]

He said Han Perdido.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Which means they lost Cubs. Yeah, they lost. They lost a playoff game, you dumbass. Your team had 48 wins.

[Brady]

Dale's got two. Great.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Hurry, Dale, go.

[Dale]

Well, why are we in hurry?

[John Holmberg]

Because we gotta go. Don't you want to start that podcast?

[Brady]

He just.

[Brett]

What's the name of that podcast again?

[John Holmberg]

I got up. John Holberg, Sportscast. Oh, okay. Featuring temporary permanent guest Dale Hell and friend.

[Dale]

This is. Come on First Golden Girls Christmas Experience is coming.

[John Holmberg]

John.

[Dale]

Here's what's on the menu, just in case you were wondering. The Immersive Pop up, which opens on November 19, will include cheesecake flights. What St Olaf Cook Christmas cookies.

[John Holmberg]

That's where Betty White's character was from.

[Dale]

On the show and other Treats inspired by the beloved sitcom.

[John Holmberg]

So you can go celebrate. The Golden Girls. They're not there. Obviously. They're dead. Are we gonna dig them up? Are we? Ed Geen and the Golden Girls. What's going on? Going on?

[Brady]

Are all of them wiped out?

[John Holmberg]

They're all wiped out. Wow. They're all gone.

[Brady]

They're all gone.

[John Holmberg]

They're all gone.

[Brady]

I thought one was still alive.

[John Holmberg]

No, Betty White was the last remaining.

[Brett]

I thought Rue was still around, but Girl of Gold.

[John Holmberg]

No, Rue died before Betty.

[Brady]

Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

He's the last one.

[Dale]

Fruitcake. Golden ornament Truffles.

[John Holmberg]

All right, that's enough.

[Brett]

All right, I'm with Dale on this one.

[John Holmberg]

Way to go Real.

[Dale]

That is ridiculous.

[Brady]

I thought Dale would be excited about that for summer Reason.

[John Holmberg]

Just got an email. Taylor Swift just wrote a song about me called Long Sack, which I thought was nice, so thank you. It's on the new album. It's deep. That's pretty cool, though, to have a song, no?

[Dale]

Yeah, a song written. Your wiener. Is that impressive, John?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

The most famous singer, whether you like her or not, right? All women sings a song about you.

[John Holmberg]

All women, when they're with you, say everything's fine with your wiener.

[Dale]

No, they don't.

[John Holmberg]

If she breaks up with you, she's gonna write a song about how it was twisted or had bumps or. Yeah, it was a curve down. Used to hit her in the pelvis.

[Dale]

Right now.

[John Holmberg]

Right now, she's loving it right now. Yeah, it's immortalized.

[Dale]

Nobody from Dobson wrote that song for you?

[John Holmberg]

No, no one at Dobson did.

[Dale]

Or Phoenix College or Scottsdale College or Glendale College.

[John Holmberg]

Any of the community colleges. Sand songs about me. Who's the weirdo? Would have been the song I wrote. That's it. We're done. It's 10 after 10. Dale, you've wasted enough of our time. At 2 o'. Clock. Those words on our app. Get going again, Shan. Man's gonna help you with that. Larry is coming up next and he's got all sorts of fun stuff for you. We're done. We will see you guys tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness.

[Dale]

Most powerful Rocket Station.

[John Holmberg]

It's out of control now. 98 K U PD.