Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD) – Episode Summary

Date: October 20, 2025
Episode Title: No Victory Monday Again For Cards - Trip Was At The Historic Shohei Game In LA Friday - How Bad Is Louvre Security To Allow Priceless Jewels To Be Stolen - No Kings Marches Were Peaceful
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This Monday morning episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness weaves together the chronic woes of Arizona Cardinals fans, a legendary Shohei Ohtani baseball performance, the head-scratching heist at the Louvre, a bizarre Air Force Base “underwear bandit,” and commentary on recent local protest marches. With the usual banter and sarcasm, the crew shares laughs and jabs at sports, Arizona living, and the oddities in current headlines.

Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Arizona Cardinals Season Is (Basically) Over

• The episode opens with John Holmberg lamenting another dismal Cardinals loss, leaving fans with little hope for a “Victory Monday.”

• John suggests it might be time for Cardinals fans to emotionally and financially detach. He lampoons the futility and resignation that defines Cardinals fandom every fall.

  "I'm starting to get like financially concerned for Cardinal fans. I mean, this is a—if you have an advisor, he would tell you your emotions and your money cannot mix with that." (03:02)

• They compare the Cardinals’ struggles with other NFL bottom-feeders (Jets, Raiders, Titans), poking fun at the recurring misery.

• Holmberg’s annual “migration” joke: as Cardinals seasons collapse, men suddenly become available for weekend activities, much to the delight of their wives:

  "The women win because their husbands only spend six weeks making them football widows. Then they come crawling out of the grave like Jesus.” (04:06)

• The hosts riff on head coach speculation, draft futility, and the possibility that nobody in their right mind wants the Cardinals or Jets head coaching jobs.

2. Trip’s Trip: Witnessing Shohei Ohtani’s Legendary Game

• The hosts celebrate their boss, Tripp, witnessing live what is now dubbed "The Ohtani Game." Ohtani’s extraordinary feat—striking out 10 and hitting three home runs to clinch the NLCS—is hailed as one of the greatest single-athlete performances in sports history.

  “He is without a doubt now the greatest that’s ever played the game. And I watched that game again because…when you know what’s going to happen, it still doesn’t seem like it can.” (15:17)

• John references the “epic” quality of such events, comparing them to Michael Jordan’s legendary games, noting that everyone wants to claim they attended after-the-fact.

3. The Louvre Heist: Too Suspicious to Be Real?

• The team dives into the news about the recent high-profile jewel theft at the Louvre Museum. John is incredulous at the blatant, movie-clumsy manner of the break-in, strongly suspecting inside involvement.

  "A truck with a crane attached to it pulled up next to a building...breaks a second story window…uses circular saws to cut…grabs a bunch of jewels and gets out. The security guards did it. They did it." (19:50)

• They riff on the inadequacy of security, recalling “Entrapment” (the Sean Connery/Catherine Zeta-Jones film), lampooning the idea that movie heist tactics are more believable than what actually happened at the Louvre.

  “The Ocean's movies are more believable...This is the most unbelievably clumsy handoff of jewels I've ever seen.” (22:20)

4. Air Force Base “Underwear Bandit”

• A local Arizona news story gets wild attention: a handyman at Luke AFB caught on surveillance stealing a woman’s bra, taking it to the bathroom, and returning it with, as John and Brady say, “white stains.”

  "He was arrested at his house...He admitted to stealing it and using the bra to pleasure himself. He also wrote an apology letter to the woman, so I'm sure she's thrilled with that correspondence." (30:26)

• The hosts riff for several minutes on the psychology and logistics of such an act, with John joking about the hidden invisible work of handymen in homes, and the need for extra vigilance.

  "It's never a bad idea when all blue-collar workers enter your home that are left alone to wash all of your clothes the next day. All of them." (32:11)

5. ‘No Kings’ March & Arizona Protest Culture

• The “No Kings” marchers are briefly teased for their weekend protest in Scottsdale. The hosts compliment their peaceful approach (minimal traffic interruptions, mostly sticking to sidewalks), but lampoon the costumes and apparent pointlessness of the effort:

  "Here we are Monday—we don’t have a king. It worked! Nice job, guys. Excellent work. I mean, I poo-pooed the whole thing, but you couldn’t have been more right." (42:46)

• John takes issue with any marches that block roads, suggesting they “stay out of the way” if they want public support.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Holmberg on Cardinals misery:
  "You just gotta find something else to do. Maybe I'll get blown if I take my wife to Wilcox or something. I don't know where you go, but it's terrible. It's just terrible." (04:36)

• On coaching jobs no one wants:
  “This would be the first job in sports...where you’re offered it and it’s not an honor…Jets or Cardinals? No, I’m not taking that.” (07:12)

• On Shohei Ohtani's game:
  “It’s already got a name…it’s four days old. The Ohtani Game. This dude is unbelievable.” (15:25)

• Louvre heist skepticism:
  “You can't have a truck pull up to any building ever…the Phoenix Art Museum security team would have stopped it in a second. They don't have security at the Louvre?” (24:13)

• Handyman bra theft riff:
  “If your bra’s a little itchy this morning, ladies, just think about it. And, fellas, sometimes when your underpants are a little bit stiff, maybe it's not just your batch. Think about that.” (36:27)

• March commentary:
  “I saw 'em at the end when, at the end, they just started hugging like they'd accomplished something. Nice job. Excellent work. We'll see. Check the Internet and see if we have a king—we don't. Oh my God. We did it.” (44:03)

Timestamps of Key Segments

• Cardinals, NFL Lament – 01:17 to 07:55
• Cardinals Coaching/Draft Jokes – 07:07 to 08:51
• General NFL Recap & TV Riffs – 09:36 to 11:47
• Trip’s Ohtani Game Experience – 14:53 to 18:36
• Shohei Ohtani’s Historic NLCS Game – 15:25
• Louvre Jewel Heist Deep Dive/Inside Job Theories – 19:50 to 26:19
• Discussion of Entrapment Movie Scene – 26:19 to 28:08
• Air Force Bra Bandit Story & Riffs – 28:38 to 36:27
• Laundry Paranoia, Security, and Handyman Jokes – 36:27 to 42:46
• No Kings March Successful? – 42:46 to 45:12

Tone & Style

The episode is delivered with the show’s trademark blend of blunt sarcasm, locker-room jests, Arizona local flavor, and fast-paced banter. John Holmberg anchors each segment with long-form riffs, occasionally veering into absurd hypotheticals and crass humor, while Brady, Bret, and Toledo chime in with quick one-liners and supportive laughs.

For New Listeners or Recap Seekers

• If you haven’t caught this show before, expect irreverent commentary on sports, news of the weird, and Arizona culture, all filtered through a “can you believe this?” morning drive sensibility.
• If you’re a Cardinals fan seeking optimism, look elsewhere: the show’s take is brutally honest.
• The Shohei Ohtani segment is a rare moment of genuine awe in an otherwise cynical broadcast.
• The guys’ wild skepticism about the Louvre heist and loopy handyman story are comedy highlights, showing just how gleefully off-the-rails local morning radio can go.

Note:
Advertisements, sponsorships, and generic banter were omitted from the recap. The summary above highlights only substantive, original, and humorous content from the show’s episode proper.