Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 11-18-25
Episode Title: Winter Has Hit Our Studios As Our Company Can't Seem To Get The A/C Right - Target Institutes New Smile Policy For Employees As New Generation Workers Aren't Expressive
Date: November 18, 2025
Host(s): John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Location: 98KUPD, Arizona
Episode Overview
This episode centers on two main comedic rants:
- The ongoing, absurdly dysfunctional air conditioning situation at the studio, which has left the crew freezing and frustrated.
- A new, somewhat bizarre “mandatory smile” policy at Target and what it says about generational changes in workplace culture, customer service, and expectations.
Throughout, hosts blend personal anecdotes, biting humor, and cultural critique, all delivered with the irreverent signature style HMS fans love.
Key Segments & Discussion Points
1. Studio Deep Freeze: The Ongoing AC Disaster
[01:18–13:00]
-
Opening Complaint:
John Holmberg immediately launches into how cold the studio is—joking it feels like "31 degrees" and likening the place to a meat locker or “Rocky” training montage.
“It's cold in here. It's like 31 degrees in this... When is it okay to start saying this is a work environment I'm not comfortable in?" – John [01:18] -
No Control, No Solution:
They lament that only one person—who no longer works there—had the “nuclear codes” to the thermostat.
"We're untrustworthy radio slobs. They've broken the air conditioners on purpose to where only one man can do anything with them. And lockdown. He's got some weird key..." – John [02:20] -
Physical Toll:
Brady is sneezing, everyone’s noses are running, and they joke about OSHAA standards and unsafe working environments.
"Brady's sick. You're sneezing like crazy. My nose stuffed up the second I got in here." – John [03:24] -
Blue-Collar Retorts:
John taunts construction workers likely to email in, telling them not to complain about their own winter conditions, while noting radio folks didn’t sign up to freeze inside.
"My dad was in construction. If the weather got bad, you all stayed home. So I don't want your emails. All right, Shut up." – John [05:26] -
Building’s History of Ineptitude:
The AC has never worked properly in the building’s decade-long history, and management—rather than fixing it—just expects employees to endure.
"This building's 10 years old. It's a...And it's getting worse. For 10 years, it's getting worse." – John [05:49] -
Satirical Solutions:
They muse about lighting “hobo” fires, using “solo stoves”, breaking windows for warmth, or holding a contest for HVAC guys to fix it—winner gets $10,000.
"Let's go full hobo in this bitch... I'm bringing those [solo stoves] in. We're just going to light little pellet fires." – John [04:19]
"Let's just have any and all AC guys available right now. Just show up...Whoever gets it fixed wins the bid." – John [10:36] -
Management & Budget Cuts:
The group jokes “Hubbard Radio” has bungled things so much that the electricity bill could be funding more employees; a former colleague got the axe possibly over AC overspending.
"Turn the AC down, I bet you'd start running them, you'd run in the black again." – John [08:45] -
Dark Humor about Health:
John riffs that Brady’s recent health issues and organ removal are entirely the fault of the cold, broken AC; he'd love to see Brady sue.
“You gave me cancer because you don't know how to fix a mother air conditioner. Oh, please. Steal all the money from the queen and the Bob's. Please, Brady.” – John [09:53]
Notable Quotes & Moments
- “If this was a group of women, they wouldn't show up to work till it was fixed. And they'd be right.” – John [03:48]
- “Hubbard radio across the board has mismanaged themselves so badly...” – John [08:45]
- “His...It's intolerable in there sometimes…I have…my teeth started to chatter." – John on Paul’s studio [07:00]
2. Target’s “Mandatory Smile” Policy and the Death of Employee Personality
[14:41–39:00]
-
Target’s Attempt at Cheer:
Discussion kicks off about Target mandating employees greet customers from ten feet away with a smile or a wave—allegedly to boost declining sales.
“When you go into a Target, the employees aren't exactly like greeting you with great big smiles and ‘hi, how are you?’ So they're encouraging smiling and then now they've made it...you gotta be 10ft away...you better plaster on a smile...” – John [14:47] -
Artificial & Robotic Customer Service:
The hosts mock how forced and awkward this “smile policy” will be and relate it to other business missteps.
“Somebody in Target's higher-ups basically said we're not bothering the customers enough with strange, robotic emotional behavior.” – John [15:04] -
Generational Skills Gap:
John rails against younger workers’ lack of social skills, deadpan expressions, “dead-eyed” stares, and inability to perform basic customer service tasks (e.g., getting water at a restaurant).
“At a restaurant there was a kid who's probably 18, 17…all I said was hey, can I get a thing of water refill water. And he just stared at me. Huh? Just breathing out his mouth like water agua...” – John [15:40] -
Anecdotes on Service Failures:
John recounts interactions with disengaged young workers, like the busboy who “doesn’t do water” or a bartender who flees when asked to break a bill.
“He just stared at me, like, we don't do a lot of cash here…never saw him again. I think he just hid in the back until I left.” – John [19:25] -
Parenting and Work Ethic:
The conversation spins into how previous generations learned social skills on the job, progressing from busing to waiting tables for better money, and why parents should instill money-motivation in their kids. -
Creepy Smile Fallout:
They predict forced smiles at Target will be “horror movie” weird, alienating both employees and customers accustomed to transaction simplicity—who would rather shop online anyway.
“In a world filled with cynics, Target basically says, we're gonna smile at you like a horror movie from a distance and maybe even wave to you. But I would be so put off. All I'm trying to do is buy soccer balls...” – John [24:19]
Notable Quotes & Moments
- “If you don't plaster that smile on, it's hell to pay. It's Mobile Dutch brothers again. Yeah. Oh yeah. Bother me more.” – John [14:52]
- “They're just kind of dead blank face. They're screens themselves. At a restaurant...he just stared at me. Huh? Just breathing out his mouth. Like, water? Agua?” – John [15:40]
- “I don't do water. Okay, well, way to go. You know that's a go get 'em attitude.” – John [16:20]
- “You imagine this generation in this room, 40 degrees, they don't do water...Like, oh my god. I'm not feeling safe in the cold room. Neither am I.” – John [20:39]
- “If you're a person who goes into Target and ever reports one of the employees for not smiling at you. You're the problem, not these poor kids...” – John [25:35]
- “Look, dude, I'm not a good smiler...I look like somebody just told me my parents are on fire. I hate that posed fake smile.” – John [28:56]
- “They became smarmy phony weirdos that would follow you around. And they solved their problem by not being annoying. And so Target's like, what we need is our employees to be more like 1990s car salesmen.” – John [24:19]
3. Retail Experience: Who’s Doing It Right?
[31:13–34:07]
-
Home Depot & Ace Hardware:
The crew contrasts Target’s aggressiveness with Home Depot’s famously gruff (but honest) “you’re bothering us” attitude.
“Every one of those orange apron bastards you walk by acts like you're bothering them.” – John [31:13]
Ace Hardware is praised for no-nonsense, hyper-competent service—quirky employees who immediately suss out what you need. -
Ikea and Navigation:
John riffs on getting lost in Ikea and the myth of the “arrows”—highlighting the difference between too much and too little customer engagement.
“I've walked past this five times. I think somebody screwed with an arrow and keeps leading me right back here.” – John [38:24]
4. Race, Retail, and Surveillance
[35:27–37:53]
- A listener email sparks a discussion about how policies like “smile” mandates intersect with retail profiling—especially for Black customers.
- John and crew riff on past experiences, such as being stopped by Walmart staff when shopping for electronics with a Black friend, and the awkward encounters and discomfort it creates. "He goes, 'God damn it.' And I'm like, this is you, isn't it? I've never experienced this." – John [37:03]
Highlights & Notable Quotes with Timestamps
-
On AC Malfunction:
- “It's so cold in here, they have to start to wonder, when is it an unsafe work environment? When do we get to play those pussy games everyone else plays?” – John [01:35]
- “Let's just have any and all AC guys available right now...whoever gets it fixed wins the bid.” – John [10:36]
-
On Target's Smile Policy:
- “When you go into a Target, the employees aren't exactly like greeting you with great big smiles...so they're encouraging smiling. And now...you better plaster on a smile.” – John [14:47]
- “They're just kind of dead blank face. They're screens themselves...a dead eyed kid that's got no personality at all.” – John [15:40]
- “Put a lot of pressure on me, sir. You imagine this generation in this room, 40 degrees, they don't do water...” – John [20:07]
-
On the Nature of Retail Work:
- “I like it. You know who's got the right approach? Home Depot. Every one of those orange apron bastards you walk by acts like you're bothering them.” – John [31:13]
- “Ace Hardware...he looks at me, goes, 'Boss.'...that's him saying, can I help you? What do you need?” – John [33:30]
-
On Racial Profiling in Retail:
- “There was nothing better than asking that employee that was harassing us... 'It's because of him, isn't it?'” – John [36:32]
- “Reggie was as cool as it gets about it. He goes, God damn it. And I'm like, this is you, isn't it? I've never experienced this. It is.” – John [37:03]
Tone and Language
- Humorous, irreverent, and cutting.
- Hosts bounce rapid-fire between sarcasm and genuine workplace gripes.
- Frequent use of storytelling, exaggeration, and playful ribbing—both of each other and society.
Conclusion
This episode epitomizes Holmberg's Morning Sickness’s blend of office comedy, social commentary, and bold, sometimes controversial takes. From absurd cold in their studio to the creepy new world of forced retail smiles, they lampoon the everyday annoyances of work and shopping, all while poking fun at generational divides—and perhaps, finding common ground in the universal distaste for phony customer service and malfunctioning air conditioners.
Most Memorable Moment:
"Look, dude, I'm not a good smiler...I look like somebody just told me my parents are on fire. I hate that posed fake smile." – John [28:56]
For further listening:
- Skip ads, intros, and outros; the heart of the episode is in the candid, unsparing, and always funny group dialogue about the state of work and modern life.
