11-21-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 11-21-25 FULL SHOW (Friday)
Host: John Holmberg | Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Date: November 21, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness serves up the show's signature blend of sharp humor, personal anecdotes, and outrageous banter, focusing on the quirks of adulthood and modern masculinity. Kicking off with John’s mishaps changing windshield wipers, the show rolls into deep dives about "car guy" culture, pride and embarrassment in DIY projects, and the pitfalls of old-school gender roles in home repairs. Later, the group riffs on beauty pageants, body count confessions in dating, and welcomes comedian Langston Kerman for a high-energy, philosophical, and playful late-morning interview.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holmberg's Windshield Wiper Ordeal & Car Guy Vulnerability

Segment: 05:35–42:31

• John's Solo DIY Adventure:
  After needing new wipers and recalling how Brett and Brady failed at the job when his arm was injured years ago, John tries again himself—insisting on no YouTube tutorials (“I swore to myself, no YouTube videos will be used. I’m going to do it old school…” – John, 07:45). He celebrates a quick success but discovers while driving in the rain that one new wiper barely works.
• The Reveal:
  Amy from Lost Our Home Rescue points out John never removed the bright blue protective plastic from the blade—leading to a deflated confession that he'd have driven for years like that had she not intervened (“I thought my blades were just cool blue blades... She reaches out the window and pulls the blue plastic off.” – John, 13:45).
• Car Guy Hierarchy & Pride:
  The guys riff on how car guys can be judgmental and protective of their knowledge, but also invariably have “a broken car on their property” (“Every car guy has a broken, useless car on their property. You guys can’t live without a broken pile of crap.” – Brett, 36:28).
• Notable Anecdotes:
  • Brett nearly getting pinned under a car as a teenager.
  • The humiliations of asking for parts installation at AutoZone.
  • Car guys’ project cars that never leave the garage (“It’s a project. You’d think I was crazy. Now you’re doing it with cars.” – John, 29:19).

Quote:
“As a man, it’s so hard to go to AutoZone and go, Trevor, can you do this for me? Like, you just don’t want to be that dude.”
— John Holmberg, 16:53

2. Pageant People Are All Crazy

Segment: 47:25–59:10

• Pageant Scandal Mockery:
  In light of Miss Universe drama, John and Brett rail against the claims that pageants are about brains over beauty, pointing out the inanity and insanity of the pageant world. “Pageant women are crazy... If you’re thinking about putting your kids in pageants, you’re just building a nut ball.” (48:41)
• Society’s Perspective:
  The hosts agree that the broader population only cares if a winner “is hot or not”—not their intelligence or talents.
• Trans Representation and "Woke" Elements:
  The segment touches on Miss Vietnam being the first Asian trans woman to represent her country, lampooning the coverage and response.

Quote:
“Pageant people are scary… for all pageant people, let me speak for us normals: we see you all as crazy people.”
— John, 48:41

3. Body Count Confessions & Relationship Dealbreakers

Segment: 59:10–72:38

• Listener Email: Dating Someone with a Past
  Listener Jonathan asks whether he should be worried after his girlfriend of 39 reveals a sexual “body count” over 200 and a history of taking money for sex and selling photos.
• Hosts' Perspectives:
  • Brett: “They’ve all taken some currency for sex. Exactly. Whether it be dinner, whether it be a concert, at one point or another.” (61:12)
  • John: “It’s up to you—do I now see her as less than I did before?”
  • Brady: Thinks the conversation is best avoided, and worries about awkward situations like running into one of her past clients.
• Consensus:
  Ultimately, the past is only an issue if it fundamentally changes present perspective or causes chronic embarrassment or insecurity.

Quote:
“The past doesn’t bother me. Whatever you did before led you to this. And we’re here together and you seem okay to me.”
— John Holmberg, 63:13

4. Ask an Italian! Indoctrinating Kids in ‘Mafia’ Cinema

Segment: 72:38–80:41

• Email from Listener:
  When’s the right age for an Italian-American kid to watch The Godfather and Goodfellas?
• Brett’s Rule:
  “Out of the womb” is appropriate for Godfather. Goodfellas is a “preteen” or teen milestone (77:25).
• Theatrical Indoctrination:
  Brett and John joke about Italian parenting rituals, such as having Godfather on loop and teaching “Don Corleone” as first words.

Quote:
“He should have that [Godfather] in his room always… the mobile is this [theme song].”
— John, 74:00

5. Comedian Langston Kerman Interview: Masculinity, Names, Marriage, and Misanthropy

Segment: 119:50–142:30

• Background:
  Langston Kerman shares that he holds an MFA in poetry, briefly taught high school, and only turned to stand-up because poetry “got girls” (121:29).
• Philosophy on Cleanliness and Gender Roles:
  Langston admits to being “the cleaner” at home (“I don’t do physical labor and I do a lot of cleaning…” – 132:57), while his wife (a lawyer) handles the handy-work and cooking, flipping traditional expectations.
• Learning from Life:
  Langston riffs on teaching, relishes the collapse of mean or wayward students, and muses on life’s brutal symmetry (“There are a few kids where you go like, damn, this is what I thought you’d be.” – 127:07).
• Authenticity & Chasing Emotions:
  “I don’t think you’re living a full life if you’re not bringing rage out of other people.” – Langston, 131:10
• Sports Loyalty Debunked:
  Loyalty to sports teams equated to “cheering for laundry,” with both host and guest discussing the transactional nature of professional sports.

Quote:
"To be a fan of a team is to be a fan of the owner of that team. And never have I met an owner where I’m like, that dude’s awesome…”
— Langston, 141:28

• Words of Wisdom
  “Never stand still on an escalator. There’s too much life to be had… keep moving, sister.”
  — (Langston’s closing advice, 142:31)

6. Notable Bits & Comedy Highlights

Scattered Throughout

• Self-Deprecating Ownership:
  John, Brett, and Brady regularly own up to their failings, from failing at basic car maintenance to missing social cues.
• Insults Get Recycled:
  Arguments about “man cards,” car know-how, and the right to be called a car guy or not fill much of the first hour.
• Frank Stallone, Rocky References:
  Frank Stallone and Sylvester Stallone pop in as comedy impressions; listeners are amused by "Far From Over" as a children's anthem in an Italian household (84:16).
• Videos Teased For "Holmberg After Dark":
  The show’s end-of-year event promises to top itself with wild listener-submitted videos, the “real highlight” according to John (05:11, 119:21).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Windshield Wiper Fail:
  “So I’m driving around pretty proud of myself with two plastic pieces over the actual blades going, they’re not working great…”
  — John, 14:35
• On masculinity faux pas:
  “I have pictures. Well, you couldn’t see over the top to see. You don’t see color—first of all, that’s one thing we should all know about Brady. Black, white, it’s just a Jeep to him.”
  — Brett, 12:02
• Car Guy Irony:
  “Be grateful there’s guys like me. ... And I’m going to throw Brady in there because he can’t reach the engine.”
  — Brett, 18:36
• Pageant girls:
  “There isn’t a normal guy in the world that sees a pageant girl and thinks she’s stable. We all… know you’re nuts.”
  — John, 55:01
• Dating and body count:
  “She can’t keep track. And some of it was transactional. Financially. That’s a little different.”
  — Brett, 62:56
• Family cinema habits:
  "His first words should have been ‘Michael, I have a question.’ Or, ‘I know it was you.’ Those have to be the first words."
  — John on raising an Italian child, 75:25
• Langston on life:
  “I think women are people… if you can bring rage to someone, you’ve elicited emotion, you’ve existed.”
  — Langston, 131:19
• Unvarnished advice:
  “Never stand still on an escalator... keep moving, sister.”
  — Langston, 142:31

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Windshield Wiper Story & Car Guy Shaming: 05:35–42:31
• Pageants and Superficiality: 47:25–59:10
• “Body Count” Relationship Dilemmas: 59:10–72:38
• Ask an Italian (“Godfather” Indoctrination): 72:38–80:41
• Langston Kerman Interview: 119:50–142:30
• Holmberg After Dark Videos & Announcements: 119:21, 144:12
• Quotes & Comedy Bits: Sprinkled throughout (see above for examples)

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Tone & Delivery

The episode maintains a rollicking morning show style—fast, irreverent, self-mocking, and conspiratorial. Language is blunt, sometimes crude, but never truly mean-spirited; the crew lampoons themselves, their listeners, and Arizona culture with equal vigor. There’s a clear sense of camaraderie, punctuated by running jokes, affectionate roasting, and the occasional moment of genuine introspection.

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In Summary

If you love candid, comedic takes on the minutiae of adult life—especially the comedy of modern masculinity, car culture, and relationships—this episode is jam-packed with memorable stories and searing one-liners. Langston Kerman fits seamlessly into the chaos, offering up humble life philosophies and fresh comedic energy. The show's blend of laughter, vulnerability, and just the right amount of shock makes for a lively listen—full of moments you’ll want to quote, even if you missed the show live.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

I was going to say this wasn't Frank.

[Brett]

Right. You're finishing with. Frank is great. Well, Frank has his moments, okay? And rightfully so. You know, people should get paid. For years, people should get paid. But then working, it's literally one of the guests was like, what does this usually pay? And I'm like, I don't know. And he goes, 20,000. And I'm like, american money. What are you out of your mind? No, you're going to do, like 25 minutes worth of work, tops. All right? And then you just whittle them down. I've been working. I've been working the last couple days, working the phones, moving and shaking and getting things done. So I feel pretty good about myself because it is booked for coats.

[John Holmberg]

We're done.

[Brett]

I did with the help of Matt Coleman down at the club. We are pretty booked. We're. We're 85% home. And that's good because most of the time, you're running about 10% till day up. So it'd be this ahead of the game. Now, here's the thing. We already. We had Jay Farrow on this show, and I was super excited about Jay coming out. And then Jay got an offer from, I think, Fanduel or somebody, and they were going to give him, like, 100 grand or something.

[John Holmberg]

Just out.

[Brett]

That's what I said, jay, you're making the right choice. And he called like, hey, man, I'll still do it. But I'm like, you want me to match that? I mean, can you, like, it's one show, Jay. I mean, we'd have to charge people $1,000 a ticket to make this work. Yeah, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take that job. Like, you do that. I'd go to his show, for God's sakes. If that was in town, I'd be like, we're canceled. Just go watch Jay he's awesome. But he'll be here that weekend anyway, so he's. Yeah. Jay's one of my favorites, so that would. But it is not easy. It is not fun to deal with people. And then. I don't like dealing with money. I don't like. I'm not that guy. I'm not the guy that gets in your pocket. No, no. I like having money. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, well, your people.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, you know, you're supposed to.

[Brett]

I like mine. I don't like dealing with other people's. Because you know why? It ruins. That's why people have agents and stuff. It wrecks. It can wreck a relationship between two people negotiating. Because you're always thinking, is this guy getting one over on me? What could they have spent? But. And I'm just like, dude, this isn't mine to spend, so. But it is booked, and we're ready to go. It's almost sold out anyway, before we even had guests, which is great. If you guys want tickets to Homeburg after dark, it's December 12th and it's at Stand Up Live. It's our end of the year live show, and it gets out of hand. And the thing that people want to see are those videos. I mean, they don't care about the guests. The guests are secondary. We do those videos every day. Tripp came in the other day. Least favorite part of the show for me are those stupid videos. I don't want to hear the play by play of that crap. Do you listen every day? Well, yeah, I listen to it. Well, then, there you go.

[John Holmberg]

We offered to show him to him.

[Brett]

He wouldn't look. It's kind of what he said. You guys are gross enough. I don't need play by play of what you're talking about while you watch it. It's true, but there he is, locked to his block, to his radio the whole time. Anyway. I'm also riding on a high of pride right now because I watched you two four and a half years ago when I had my arm surgically repaired and could not reach forward so I could. I was helpless in a lot of areas. And it was a rainy. It was rainy March or April, if I recall correctly. And you two morons said you could change my windshield wipers on my Jeep. I could not do it with one. One arm.

[John Holmberg]

I had a broken arm, too.

[Brett]

You were a car guy.

[Brady]

Just say, we'll take a look at it for you.

[Brett]

Okay. Well, it became a viral sensation four years ago of Brady staring at windshield wipers like they just landed from another planet. And Brett being completely useless as far as verbal or physical help, Brady couldn't reach the windshield wipers. Those little head was sticking up over the front of my Jeep. And my Jeep is not lifted to the point where it's like, oh, it's pretty tall. You know what? Maybe it is because that picture says otherwise. I feel like a normal human being. Brady looked like an insane progeria child trying to reach over the hood. You guys couldn't do it. You failed. For what seemed like an hour or so. And I laughed, so intimidated by this. With all the rain that's gone on, I've known for a long time I've needed new windshield wipers. And I thought to myself, this can't be as hard as dumb and dumber made it look back in the day. So I bought. I ordered online new windshield wipers for my 2018 Wrangler and my 2012 Wrangler. They're different. And they showed up. And I opened up the package, and I'm looking at it. I'm like, this is just a box, and the instructions are the size of a thumbnail. I can't see the instructions. I can't grasp the instructions. I'm just going in blind. And I swore to myself no YouTube videos will be used. I'm going to do it old school the way I try to get you guys to do it and just figure this out. Well, within about seven seconds, I found the little flap latch and got the wipers off. It's easy. You two were jacking around forever on. It was easy. And I'm like, okay, I'll give it to him that I might have stumbled into this. This is simple. So I get the windshield wipers off, and I'm like, I'm a man today. I'm doing manly, handy car stuff. That's me.

[Brady]

Productive.

[Brett]

Grease on the hands. I'm gonna have to go lava soap up after all this is over. I've touched car parts. When it comes to car stuff, I am gayer than gay. Like, I don't know what anything's called. I don't know. I know. I know how to check. I'm a woman. I check oil. I can change a tire like nobody's business because. But no, I actually, no, I can't, because I need a high lift, and that scares me. I can change a tire on a car that's not my Jeep. Yeah, I can't. I have no idea where to put a high lift without bending the frame. I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Do you what's that?

[Brett]

A high lift?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can. No, I can, because. But I don't have a Jeep, so I don't regularly do it.

[Brett]

I mean, where do you put it?

[John Holmberg]

Right under the frame.

[Brett]

See what I think. What does that mean? Is that the car?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the frame that.

[Brady]

John, I've changed the shell.

[Brett]

I'm gonna break.

[John Holmberg]

It's the frame. It's with the body sits on the frame.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Where's that rear end and the front end attached to the frame.

[Brett]

And it's all of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can show. I'll show you.

[Brett]

So if I put that on the side of my Jeep, should be all right. It's going to bend. Well, I don't understand where that ends. See, this is what I'm talking about. Where does the frame begin?

[Langston Kerman]

I'll show you.

[Brett]

On the body end.

[Brady]

He can show you. Or you can do my assessment, which.

[Brett]

Is just a couple of tires on a high lift.

[Brady]

Not on a high lift.

[Brett]

See, there's. I.

[Brady]

And it looks. This looks like a good place for the jack to go.

[Brett]

I do that every time. I'm like, I think that's steady.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I have no idea what, you know.

[Brady]

It hasn't fallen, but.

[Brett]

Oh, I had one fall. I had my legs. I was changing my mom's. She had a VW Bug. And I had the jack under, lay over and drop. No, I don't know what happened. I had my legs under the car, and I'm twisting. I had my legs like. Like I was straddling the tire from underneath. The thing was up. Pulled them out, reached back, and I heard. I looked over, and the car is on the ground.

[Brady]

Oh, gee.

[Brett]

And I looked in. The jack had just kind of shrunk itself. And I looked. I'm like, my legs were under there, like seven seconds ago. Like, that was. That's my ass right there. I had. What the hell? Just what happened? And then my mom's like, is that all right? I'm like, yeah, it's fine. I was. I didn't panic or anything. It wasn't fine. Her whole car was just laying on the ground. And I'm like, I'll get it back up there. And I pumped it back up. And I was in terror. So I can change a tire, But I have had incidents. The high. The high lift. And I don't want to hear from guys who know I'm admitting it. It's not a time to attack a man who's being vulnerable. I'm telling you, I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

So apparently on Jeeps you can do it on the bumper, too. That's what I'm reading that I didn't know.

[Brett]

Well, I can do the bumper because it's steel.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

So I put steel bumpers on it to the bumper, and I have the side rails that are.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can do that here, too.

[Brett]

Yeah, because they're steel, too. But your black one doesn't. Black one does not have that. So I have no idea. And the new Bronco has not. I have no idea. I don't know what you're talking about when you say body and frame. Because once it's not body, I assume it's a useful part because here's the guy with the. Oh, you're doing. You're. You're doing a YouTube video, which I.

[John Holmberg]

Want the Jeep, I don't know, control it.

[Thriller]

So using two hands is a lot safer.

[Brett]

Well, I know how the high lift works. I just don't know where to put it.

[John Holmberg]

All right here on the. He's got on the side rails.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'll put it on the side rails. Either way, I can do that. But if not, I can't without help. I don't think I'd be comfortable using a high lift.

[John Holmberg]

I'd say call aaa.

[Brett]

There's the thing for that. So anyway, I'd call Robert from All.

[Brady]

Pro Shade and Shane Orlando. Between those two, they could just lift it.

[Brett]

The shank could just come out. We'll just get her off the ground by hand, and then it's up in the air. Meathead there. I got three dudes that are manly, and they'll just.

[John Holmberg]

You guys just want.

[Brett]

Yeah, Meathead will want to do it, and then it'll. The whole time. Yeah, he'll just get under it on all fours and just push up. Dude's a beast. So anyway, I'm getting these windshield wipers off, and I'm like, this is easy. Get the new ones on there. Like, look at this. Click, boom, shut the latch. It took me all of a minute to do the black Jeep. Move over to the white Jeep. It's a little different. Find the latch, pop it off. Like, got this. Put those on. So proud of myself.

[Brady]

That was when we were stumped on the white sheep, I think.

[Brett]

No, no, it was the black Jeep.

[Brady]

It was the black Jeep.

[Brett]

It was the black Jeep. You guys, I have.

[Brady]

I blacked out.

[Brett]

I have pictures. Well, you couldn't see over the top to see. You don't see color. First of all, that's one thing we should all know about Brady. Black, white. He's Just Amen to that. It's just a jeep to him. So I get these. I get them put on there. And I am thrilled. So I'm driving to work yesterday. It's a little rainy, and I got the windshield wipers on. I'm like, look at that. It's a little. It's not good. They must need breaking in because it's, you know, they're still. They're squishing water around pretty good, but they're new, so I park. Pretty proud of myself, come to work. Didn't talk about it yesterday because I was like, you know, I'll get this done. It hasn't rained enough yet. Yesterday. I go down to Lost Her Home Pet Rescue with Amy, and she's from Payson, so she's more of a man than I'll ever be. She did it. She knows what I'm doing. We get into the Jeep and I'm like, ah. I said, I changed those windshield wipers myself. And it starts to rain a little. On our way over to Loster home. It's like the last bit of yesterday's rain. So we're going over there to see the dog. By the way, the dog's name is Ben and he's a puppy. He's part of a litter of 12. It was a hoarding thing because people, their dog got pregnant. Fix your dog spay and neuter dog gets pregnant, has 12 puppies, and instead of doing anything right, they just put them in an abandoned home. I know. So they got found. The neighbors are like, hey, this house that's got nobody in his barking. Like, it was kind of a weird situation. It's kind of. So anyway, Ben's part of that. Go get Ben. Go get. These puppies are amazing. They're so cute. And, you know, puppies go fast. Get chalky, get any other dog that's over there that needs a chance. So that aside. So we're on our way over there, it's raining. And I told her, I said, the driver side's working good. The passenger side still squishing the water around. It's kind of smearing it. And I said, but I think they have to break in. And she goes, you have to take the plastic off. And I said, huh? I thought my blades were just cool blue blades. There's like a weird plastic blue cover.

[John Holmberg]

It protects the blade.

[Brett]

Yeah, I thought I just had really cool.

[Brady]

That's a pro.

[Brett]

Edge was a pro install, and it wasn't right. I just thought maybe I just bought some cruddy wipers. These aren't so great. Sure enough, there's like a little sleeve like you do for. I'll use the gayest term I can. Figure skating, you know, you put them over the blade. Yeah. It wasn't even a peel. It just slides right off. She reaches out the window and. And this blue plastic thing for some reason is guarding these blades that were in. By the way, they were in three boxes. For me to get to these blades in the first place, I don't know what kind of elements we're getting to these. These wipers that they were worried. So it had to come with some sort of a blue shield. But yeah, sure enough, I was driving around yesterday morning pretty proud of myself with two plastic pieces over the actual blades going, they're not working great.

[Brady]

I'm not real happy with these blades.

[Brett]

But I was. I was still on a high. I was still on a 9 out of 10 high about having changed them myself. So I was like, these aren't very good. But you know what? Easy enough, I'll just replace them with some new ones. If this, this seems. And then I started thinking maybe my old ones weren't so bad. Yeah, maybe they still had the blade on them too. But yeah, evidently there's a few years.

[Brady]

You to know, flat on the windshield, like contour with it. They're kind of straight planks.

[Brett]

Mine.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. No, and that's what it's kind of like. That's weird. And when I was doing it, it was pushing the water up, but it was smearing. Was still better than my old cruddy busted up sunblades. But I'm looking and I'm like, I get myself all taken care of there and I'm pretty proud of myself. I had no idea that there was a protective barrier between the window and the actual wiper. And I'm an idiot. So I was immediately she goes, yeah, that's the blue thing. Because then I noticed that the driver's side one had fallen off. I'm like, you're right. Driver's side's working better and it's black. But that blue one over there doesn't work as well. She just took it right off.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, oh, she put her hand out and asked for your man card. When he.

[Brett]

Well, if that. Look, if those were real, then we'd have an argument. That's a silly thing that people say. Nobody has a man card. It's a penis and I have one. And I'm a. I'm not ashamed, but still.

[Brady]

Amy hanging out, grabbing that thing.

[Brett]

Yeah, the cigarette was hanging out around. You're an idiot. And we're at the stoplight right there at the 52nd and getting onto the 202 and what is that? Washington? And I was like, oh, well that's.

[Brady]

You found it quick.

[Brett]

It's pretty embarrassing. Well, I mean it's glowing neon blue. I just thought I had the coolest blades ever. I just thought they. Oh, they make blue ones. That's kind of neat. And no, they're black and they're rubber and the plastic on the end was not some sort of new. I felt it. I'm like, man, I got some newfangled high tech equipment they use for wipers now that are slick. These are going to last forever. This is. Never knew that they came off. And I don't even know how the one on the driver's side fell off. Must have been when I was driving and it was dark.

[John Holmberg]

So that side were great.

[Brett]

That side I'm like that. This side. And I said it out loud in the car on like I took the surface streets. I was so proud of myself. I wanted to use the wipers longer. I'm like, this side's all broken in that passenger side, not so much. And I just thought it took a little time to get the wipers going and they'll get their job done. Nope. Idiot.

[John Holmberg]

John. I work at AutoZone. We install them for free when you.

[Brett]

Buy them from us. Calm down. I got them on the Internet so I didn't have to talk to one of you guys and I probably would have used it. But look, as a man, it's so hard to go to AutoZone and go, Trevor, can you do this for me? Like you just don't want to be that dude because I know what you're thinking. Autozone. Trevor. Oh, but you can't change these. You said there's nothing worse, and I've talked about this before, than car guys. When you tell them you don't know anything. When car guys find out you don't know anything about cars, they act like it's some sort of. Like it was like your innate knowledge that you're born with. Even when they work, like I go down and fix your car at a dealership and they're like, you don't know about that. I'm like, that's why I'm here. That's why you have a job. Be grateful there's guys like me. Be grateful that I never cared enough about a car to try to fix It I have no idea. And by the way, I'll say it again, car guys, for all the knowledge you have about cars, you always have a broken one in your front yard or driveway or garage for ages. It never gets fixed. I'm not sure you know anything. There is never a car guy I've met that's a true car guy that doesn't have a broken car, but they've got their ones.

[John Holmberg]

They're fixing your twink ass truck.

[Brett]

Is that the reason? You got time for that? Is that the reason there's a 72 Nova with no hood on it today?

[Brady]

I'm gonna work on the Nova every morning. Then here comes home Burger.

[John Holmberg]

Here come the windshield wiper guy.

[Brady]

Great.

[Brett]

For eight years there's always. And that's the. That's the bare minimum of car guy having a broken car in his driveway or garage. I gotta get myself a second car there. I got a 280Z I just put up in the lift. Like does it run? No. How long have you had it? Seven years. Like then you're a bad car guy. No, no. We all have to have a broken one forever. And telling me I don't know what I'm doing. Be grateful, car guys. Be grateful that there are people like me. And I'm going to throw Brady in there because he can't reach the engine. So you can't even fix it without. You can't do anything. You're not a car.

[Brady]

When I go to auto, so I always put on a coat and tie.

[Brett]

Yeah, I can't do. That's smart. That's actually really smart. Go in there dressed in a tuxedo and a monocle on the top. Good day, AutoZone. Sir, it would appear that my four wheel drive vehicle's windshield wipers are not adequate. I of course am dressed for another gala. I could change it, but of course I'd get filthy. Will you please, Trevor, help me? You get a hook model or you got the snaps? These are words I don't understand, Trevor. You have to find these things out, explore and then tell me on FanDuel the other day. I'm an idiot. But I laugh because I'm like man, I am Just when I thought I'd solved one minor car issue and figured something out, I still idiot girled it.

[Brady]

That's pretty good.

[Brett]

I left those blue things on there and just thought my wiper sucked for until. I don't know if it would have been years. It would have been years. I'm not kidding. If they. If those things were like, taped on. They just stayed on until someone told me, like. And luckily, Emmy was in the car yesterday. That's it.

[John Holmberg]

You always have her fix it.

[Brett]

Well, she could.

[John Holmberg]

I know.

[Brett]

She grew up in Payson. She can build a car. I guarantee you. Amy'd be like, her smokes. She's probably had a couple of oil fires in her house for no reason. Like, but your family, you grew up with car guys, and there wasn't a day of your life that you're familiar with that in your garage or in your driveway was a car that didn't work.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you're building the car.

[Brett]

Yeah. That doesn't mean anything. It just means it's a car that does not work. You're building a car. Does the car function well while you're building it?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

Because you're building it.

[John Holmberg]

Because you're building it.

[Brett]

Did you have a car that didn't work in your home? All of them.

[John Holmberg]

Six months.

[Brett]

Every day of your life, you had a car in your house that didn't work?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Not every day.

[Brett]

Every day?

[John Holmberg]

No, not every day.

[Brett]

By the time it. Absolutely. I guarantee.

[John Holmberg]

Do you have one right now that doesn't run?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No. All mine run.

[Brett]

Do you have one that runs that you can drive or you're just like, no kidding? That's rare. Yeah, that's. Is there one in your dad's garage? Nope, nope, nope.

[John Holmberg]

They're all running.

[Brett]

Did you.

[John Holmberg]

That's rare for my dad, though.

[Brett]

I will admit it. I will admit it. That is not a real thing.

[John Holmberg]

It is running.

[Brady]

This is my neighbor, Matt Dillard.

[Brett]

Yeah. Two years with a car that doesn't.

[Brady]

Run in the garage. Well, it was running for. It's an older pickup.

[Brett]

He won't drive it, and not done yet.

[Brady]

And he's like, you know what? I'm going to redo the whole thing. The patience is unbelievable.

[Brett]

I think it's just because he's got an inflatable tent.

[Brady]

He's doing the old painting, too.

[Brett]

Oh, yes.

[Brady]

Yeah. You can buy these car spray tanks.

[Brett]

That's ridiculous. I understand it's a hobby, but I.

[Brady]

I've got about two months left.

[Brett]

I'm still not sure if I went to Brett's house. If I said, let's get in that thing and go to, you know, Taco Bell.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, let's go.

[Brett]

Know if I want to drive it around.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brett]

Or it has no tags.

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brett]

I'll got tags.

[Brady]

No kidding.

[Brett]

You are breaking all the rules. You are. You are not a car guy. You're a woman. Hey, it's not going to say it's.

[John Holmberg]

Not going to happen in, you know, a couple months. But, you know, as of right now.

[Brett]

There'S a mansion in a house behind my neighborhood that I've that I'll go. My bike, I'll go by. And it's gorgeous. It's on a hill. It's this beautiful. The front yard is this flowing in the garage of the guest house for since I've lived There, which was 2012, is this car with two the sticks where the hood should go.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute.

[Brett]

That's still like that. Still like that.

[John Holmberg]

That was years ago.

[Brett]

I talked about this forever. I went by because I gotta go buy it to go to my friend Mark's house. And I look up there every time and that thing is still in the garage. It's a carport because it's the guest house. And it's. For a while there it was outside until the neighbor's like, could you at least hide it? Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. And he pushed it back into the thing. And I see somebody there every once in a while walking around it. I've never seen anybody working on it ever. And I'm like, car guy. And I love car guys. Don't get me wrong. You guys get.

[Brady]

You guys.

[Brett]

You get a little too snooty about me not knowing anything, which is what's keeping you in business. And also, other than Brett, who I'm super skeptical of, I'd love to do it over today. Love to. And do an inspection.

[John Holmberg]

Sneak inspection today.

[Brett]

Come on over to do both you and your dad's house. Yeah, I'd like to start it and see. Check. Engine light on. Not on any of them, it's not.

[John Holmberg]

Say it's not going to happen.

[Brady]

How long?

[John Holmberg]

As of 607, on November 21st, everything runs.

[Brett]

Everything.

[John Holmberg]

Hang on.

[Brett]

Yeah, exactly. All tags, all up to date. Licensed, insured.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brett]

What kind of car guy are you?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I inherited.

[Brett]

Okay. I'm just saying. Well, I have.

[Brady]

I'm thinking this morning you come in and it's like, tripp, we'll get a call from Brad.

[Brett]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, exactly one broke down. I need a flatbed. Trip's not a car.

[John Holmberg]

I got him one.

[Brett]

He's a car enthusiast.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

He's never getting his hands.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's not working on that stuff. Yeah, I pay people to do that.

[Brett]

That's when people always ask me, it's like you take your jeep out four wheeling and stuff. Yeah, I do But I'll take it to Sedona by myself. But if I'm going on the real stuff, I take the dudes who know how to fix cars. Because if something goes wrong, my Jeep, staying in the desert, I have no idea what to do. I mean, none. You open that hood, you might as well keep it closed. I'd be better off trying to fix it with the closed hood than I would with it open. When it's open, I'm like, what is this? Legos? I don't know how to do this. I'm an idiot. And then a car go. I'm like, I shut up and fix it.

[Brady]

You know, be out here, bro.

[Brett]

Yeah, bro. You don't know what that is. Not only that, I don't care what it is. You fix it. That's why you're the grease mugger. The only reason I'm here with you is because of something breaking. Think I like your company? All you do is talk about what I don't know. I don't do that to you. I give you constant praise, car guy.

[John Holmberg]

Now let's go back to projects for a reason, right?

[Brett]

Well, they're supposed to end. Look up the word project. It's got a beginning, middle, and an end. With car guys, it's just a beginning, a middle. Ask any wife of a car guy.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brett]

Always get mad at people who don't. Who don't want a broken car in their house.

[Brady]

My Neighbor's got a Z28 that's been in the garage 19 years. 19 years since I've moved in.

[John Holmberg]

Does it run? I mean, has he ever fired up on blocks? Oh, okay.

[Brett]

That's the other.

[Brady]

But he is. It's his son's car, so I guess he's kind of storing it for him. But like, son, his son doesn't. 19 years. So it's got other projects.

[Brett]

I love that about car guys, too. And they'll start it, they shut it off, and then they go inside like they've accomplished something. That car still has not left. And it's sitting on those weird tire protectors so they don't touch the concrete and like, what is going on? I love car guys, but I just don't like your attitudes when it comes to me saying, I don't know anything about them. And you look at me like, I just told you. I'm like, will you teach me math? I didn't ask to learn. When a non car guy talks to a car guy and says, I don't know what I'm doing, that isn't an invitation to become an encyclopedia or a manual. I'm not interested. It does not interest me in the slightest. I do like, little projects. Little ones. I'm not gonna have a broken car in my garage forever. But the windshield wiper thing, I was pretty proud of myself and then found out that I had not completed the gig because they were still wrapped in plastic. I didn't know that. But now, hey, now that it's not raining anymore, they're ready. They're ready to go. Actually, the white one, I still have the blue on there because I. When I pulled into the. I looked at it yesterday, I was like, yeah, they're plastic still on there. And I wasn't gonna take those off ever. In fact, when I put them on, I was in the garage and I. I turned the white one on first and did the windshield wiper thing, and it's just pushed the Windex all over. And I'm like, jesus, I need new Windex. I thought it was the. I thought it had sat in there too long. Must be bad Windex because. Well, because I just had brand new windshield wipers. Oh, my God, the Windex must smear because that. But no, it's because they're big plastic shields on my. I'm an idiot. I admit it. Don't email me telling me I'm an idiot. I'm telling you I'm an idiot. I get it.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Jewburg, don't talk about our projects. How about that bike rack that you still haven't hung in your garage?

[Brett]

And what's again, you attack all you want. You guys won't admit you're idiots. I said I'm a moron. The bike rack situation was a complete catastrophe caused by one man and one man only. And I'm pointing to him right now. He's me.

[Brady]

Holy Hoberg.

[Brett]

But I called it a project. And you know what I did? I had the decency to walk away from it and say, I don't know what I'm doing. Car guy. Your car's been in your garage, your project, for eight years, and it still hadn't been on the road. Except for maybe you drive it around until it starts to conk out again. It's like, yeah, I got it down there to the Dave's house about six houses down, and started making some funny noise. So I brought it back to the garage. I'll work on it tomorrow. If your car is not functional for the freeway or road trip, it doesn't work. Would you take any of your cars to California right Now?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

All of them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, no, no. Not, not, not as far as safety wise. Not worried about that.

[Brett]

What does that mean?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, as far as, like, I just don'. I want on my one car. I don't want rock chips and everything else from trucks and all on the. On the long roads, on the freeway.

[Brett]

You don't want to use it with other people.

[John Holmberg]

I will use it around town and stuff like that, but I don't want to. I don't want to take it on Interstate 10 going out unless he's running.

[Brady]

Beer coast to coast.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if I have a 78 trans.

[Brett]

AM, what's that car you got, that big white one?

[John Holmberg]

My 57 Ford.

[Brett]

Ford, yeah, that's right. And you won't. You don't want that out on freeways because of, I mean, freeways around here.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah, I don't want to go out of. I'm the 10 behind, you know, all them trucks.

[Brett]

But you would if there. If it was a perfect day, you. You have no problem saying this will get us to San Diego? No issues.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Brett]

You're not a real car. You're not a real car. Most car guys have a car that won't get down to the stoplight. Yeah. Maybe gets a stop sign. I'm get a little worried.

[John Holmberg]

It's not to say it won't happen. I'm just saying those aren't the everyday.

[Brett]

Cars because they don't work. You know, shoes with no soles aren't my everyday shoes. I'll put some souls on it later. I'm a. I'm a bad haberdasher.

[Brady]

Yeah, but you got, you got your dress shoes. You don't wear those every day especially.

[Brett]

Yeah, but if they had holes all day long. But if you saw in my closet a pair of dress shoes that had no soles on them, you're like, what are you doing with these? It's a project I'm working on. How long they've been like six years. I'm like, aren't you gonna buy souls?

[Brady]

You're a bad cop.

[Brett]

I'm a bad cobbler. That's not happening. Yeah, I'm a cobble. A cobble and got a whole closet full of shoes that I can't wear.

[Brady]

Cobbler for someone else.

[Brett]

If you. It's a good. It's a good comparison. If I had a shoe collection and just all of them were unwearable because this one doesn't have a tongue. This one's missing a sole. The side of this one's just been Dug out. The leather's been torn off like. These aren't shoes. I'm working on it. Well, that. They're non functioning shoes. It's a project. You'd think I was crazy. Now you're doing it with cars.

[John Holmberg]

Anthony did the same thing as you did, apparently. Left the protective things on the blade.

[Brett]

That was a thing. I felt like such a pinhead when Amy took that off. But I'm proud of myself that I actually. Because I beat a first off. Brady, not so much you. I had great pride that I one upped you on the car.

[John Holmberg]

That was one wing.

[Brett]

Yeah, but you didn't know how to tell Brady.

[John Holmberg]

My other wing couldn't. Couldn't reach.

[Brett]

You guys fumbled around with that for so long.

[John Holmberg]

If I had had a step stool, we'd have been fine.

[Brett]

What you were.

[John Holmberg]

I could have. Here I had one wing.

[Brady]

If I would have had a ladder, I would have.

[Brett]

Yeah, you needed the. You needed a NASA to get involved.

[Brady]

Give me some stability. I'm gonna change that thing.

[Brett]

Yeah. Scaffolding a crew. Osha. You're not gonna. I. I was thinking about it yesterday when I reached up and got to those white.

[Brady]

Maybe one of those engine lifts.

[Brett]

You need a cherry picker. Yeah. When you call Luke over there at Icon and get a cherry picker in there and get that together, I started thinking how. How short you were when I had pulled that back. I'm like, wow. His elbows were like banging into the side.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, I will redeem myself next time. You need wiper blades.

[Brett]

Well, I don't need you anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Hopefully we're still on the air, by the way.

[Brett]

Once every five or six years. It was four and a half years ago. And I don't. Yeah, it was a. These, the ones I had too, were just like. They had tassels. They were so bad. You turn the windshield wipers on, it's like strips. It's strips of things flying all over.

[Brady]

Is there a sale going on his windshield?

[Brett]

I. I don't know how I didn't kill someone. Two mornings ago. I was driving in. I had to go over and put the trash out and the other place. So I went. And I'm going up McDowell and I'm coming up over the hill. Lights are hitting me and I'm like, I can't see a thing. I'm going to kill someone there. I couldn't see anything. Those wipers were making it awful. I'm like, I got to change these. And I did. 89% of the wiper situation was 89. Awesome. Everything was right. I heard the click. The click was so satisfying. Then I put the latch down and I'm hard. After doing that, I got a little aroused by me. There was a thing before you put the wiper on that says push. There's two little parts. You push on the latch and then you lift the latch. I didn't know what they meant. It's just one big chunk and it's actually the same thing. You're pushing. You're supposed to pop open.

[Brady]

I've never sometimes what. How much of the blade comes off? Like only the blade or sometimes the whole.

[Brett]

Turns out on the Jeep, the whole thing comes off. And I thought the same thing. I'm like, do I just take these strips? Yeah. It was a nightmare. Well, it's good that Brady didn't do it either. But I'll tell you right, Two months.

[Brady]

Ago, I had a pair in my handcuffs. Pink. Kirby's camera car in. Yeah, the Mustang for oil change. And as I'm, you know, I. I pick. I've got the blades in my hand. And when. When the oil change is done at the place, all I was planning on putting on the wiper.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady]

But the guy at the place says, hey, we can put those on right here. You know what? And Kirby's there. Okay, go ahead and do that.

[Brett]

Yeah, she's gonna have to mess with it. Yeah. She's just the wrong guy. Daddy is going to lose points.

[Brady]

Daddy champ.

[Brett]

Yeah, don't ruin that. Jp, I enjoy your email the most. I'm going to rhyme the word. You just add an F. Where I put a B says, all I'm hearing from John right now is, I'm a bag. I'm a bag. I'm a bag. What A. I'm not. Look, there's no reason to disparage the homosexual community, Tom Brennaman. They can change wipers better than me. So I'm somewhere beneath that whole, you know, that insult. If you wanted to do that, why.

[Brady]

They called the blade capital. Yeah.

[Brett]

Taking it in the ass is a lot more manly than what I was doing with those blades. And Jennifer says my sister did that blue film thing too with a potato peeler from Walmart. She potato peeled off the wiper plastic.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think she. When she bought it, they put a protective coat over the peeler part. So she tried to start peeling a potato with the protector on it.

[Brett]

Oh, with a bit. I see. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's dumb.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And I admit it. So there's no reason to attack a man who's Saying, yup, you're right, that's silly. Don't call me the homo F word anymore. Sorry. Bag bag. Yeah, bag, bag, bag. This one says, I have four cars and they all have different wiper attachments. Three Fords and a Chevy. It is annoying. They don't make it simple. It's all designed to make girls frustrated. I don't know. There isn't a single girl. I did have a few seconds of like, what the hell is this thing? When I looked at it, I got lucky and found the latch fast. It's tiny. I mean really tiny. It's actually built for women to do that. Tab is so small. And I got to it and then I figured out how to pop it off. I'm like, oh, okay. No woman would take her time with this. So it's designed to frustrate them.

[Brady]

We have to change our wipers because of the sun.

[Brett]

Yeah, I need the rain. Yeah, somebody needs a year or something like that. It's actually a good idea if you're a car guy and you've got one of those projects and you're to come up and invent a Phoenix desert wiper that isn't like, you know, what everybody else uses and just specifically for high temperature things because our. They get destroyed out here anyway. By the way, you guys, I felt good about myself. Jackasses. Yeah. So Brady can relate to this. Remember when you first tried to get to those Velveeta singles? Oh, that was enough trying to open those at that point.

[Brady]

Why would you.

[Brett]

Why would you wrap them all like that? Just, you know, put a little piece of paper between each one. It's easy. I can peel and eat.

[Brady]

Now you just have little paper separated, which is nice on the American slice.

[Brett]

They do, yeah. That is a nicer thing to do to people.

[John Holmberg]

Matthew said, sorry, John, when you leave the door open, we walk around.

[Brett]

I left the door open with a sign that said he knows. You guys are kicking the. It's the lowest. It's the fruit that's on the ground and you're kicking it around. I told you already and no one believes you. Brett, all my emails are like, no way. If you're a car guy, you've got two vehicles you don't trust to go to California and he doesn't even have one. That is so true. That is so true. On over now. The reason you trust, I do have.

[John Holmberg]

A buddy's truck in the back of my house. But it's not mine. It's not mine. I do not own it. He's Just using my ears.

[Brett]

Not what I said.

[John Holmberg]

No, every.

[Brett]

That is not what I said.

[Brady]

I usually have two, but I don't.

[Brett]

Ownership. Now you're a car guy again. Every car guy. All I said was every car guy has a broken, useless car on their property. I didn't say yours.

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't mean.

[Brett]

No, Every car guy has a broken car on his property. And you do.

[Brady]

Let a friend use it.

[John Holmberg]

Let a friend use it.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

I'll run, though.

[Brett]

You guys can't live without a broken pile of crap.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna tell Chad to pick up his crap.

[Brett]

Exactly. Chad, what are you doing for that list? More than likely, Chad has another one at his house. That's what he does. Of course. That's the car guy rules. All right, now I feel better about it. You were. You were screwing the curve. All right, this makes sense.

[Brady]

His wife, not mine.

[Brett]

It doesn't matter. Somehow or another, a car guy finds another guy who has multiple broken cars. Part of being a car guy needs to put his broken car at your car, Chad.

[Brady]

I'm tired of looking at that Pacer in the yard.

[Brett]

It's just a constant. You can't live your lives without a broken car on your property. That's. That's proof you're a car guy. What's wrong with the truck? Did it have to get towed over? Oh, yeah. It's completely useless.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

It's a disaster. Oh, yeah. There's an engine out of it. Oh, yeah. All right.

[John Holmberg]

See this baby engine transmission?

[Brett]

It's the shell of a fork.

[Brady]

There's parts of the gym. You'll. You'll see.

[Brett]

But Brady, it's never going to be finished. This car will move from place to place. Broken forever. Cherry forever. Forever. And you know what's going to happen? He's going to get, like, sick or something in like 25 years because we all end up doing that. And he's going to give it to some other guy and that guy will refurbish it in his honor. That's always what happened. Car guy. Everyday car guy. Predictability. I knew you were a real car guy. Finally, there are a bunch of people asking how far removed from the last broken car. He answered it. He's got this. Yeah. Buddy of his own own. Yeah. When's the last time you had a broken car of your own? Before Chad dropped his car off, you had. You had to have a broken one. The reason you have Chad's broken cars, because yours all work.

[Langston Kerman]

Was it at the old house?

[Brett]

How long ago?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, it was definitely at the old house. I haven't had any.

[Brady]

I thought you put something in recently. It's. I mean, it was. You know, it's replacing it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm trying to think now, not when.

[Brady]

Check the oven.

[Brett]

Let me ask.

[John Holmberg]

That's at my dad's house.

[Brett]

This is the better question. When is the last time you had a property of all functioning cars and not one, yours or otherwise, broken car on your house?

[John Holmberg]

Property on my last house for a little while.

[Brett]

How long? A week. No, no, because once you fix the good ones, you're like, all right. I got room for the broken years, though. Yeah, you. It's like an orphanage. It's like you're like a hoarder. Like, you have to have a broken car.

[John Holmberg]

Oil changes and stuff don't count. That's just maintenance. You can't count. Like, if you're gonna. If your car's down for an oil change and you're changing it, that's different. That's.

[Brett]

Yeah, okay. Right.

[Brady]

That's what I meant. It was like a standard.

[Brett]

I'm talking about a useless pad. Broken car. Got it.

[John Holmberg]

So you can't drive in a couple hours.

[Brett]

So vindicated by your Chad part.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, my car.

[Brett]

But it's still.

[John Holmberg]

You were my ass all runs, I guarantee you.

[Brett]

You were so happy when Chad's like, I gotta find a place for this Ford. And you're like, I got my new house. There's plenty of room there. You. It's so comforting to a car guy to have a broken car.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody wants everybody.

[Brett]

I.

[John Holmberg]

As a matter of fact, when we got this new house, everybody's like, hey.

[Brett]

Man, let me park. I broke my wagon over there. No, no. Why does Chad get the win?

[John Holmberg]

That's my boy.

[Brett]

Yeah, exactly. And he'll actually work on his car because he's got two. And then sometimes that's another car guy. Thing is that there's just a stranger that shows up on a Sunday at 7 and starts making noise on his broken car. On your property. Yeah. You guys are all the same.

[John Holmberg]

I got a buddy that's got a big. A big yard too. And I was. And I was over there one day and he's made tons of broken cars. I'm like, who's is that? He goes, I don't even remember.

[Brett]

He doesn't.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, like, yeah, somebody brought it there. He just left it.

[Brett]

It's. It's.

[John Holmberg]

He's like, you want it?

[Brett]

I feel so much better.

[Brady]

How fast are you going home after the show? And Starting.

[Brett]

Yeah. Make sure they all start. Look, he's mine, Will. He's at his quota of one miserably junked up car on his property. And Matthias fine with that.

[John Holmberg]

As long as you don't have to see it.

[Brett]

Is it in the backyard or on the side?

[John Holmberg]

It's behind the garage. It's hidden, so.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're not supposed to have that. You know it. But it's. You can't sleep unless there's a broken car on your property.

[Brady]

How many coveralls do you have with Brett on the day?

[John Holmberg]

No, none of that.

[Brett]

No, wear the jumper. No, no, they're old.

[Brady]

What's wrong with you old?

[John Holmberg]

Beer shirts and stuff we got at remotes and stuff.

[Brett]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here we go.

[Brett]

God, I feel so much better now that I know Chad's car is over at Brett's house because I just. Like. This doesn't make sense. Is Brett not a car guy anymore? Oh, no. 100%. Yeah. We're so predictable as human beings. Our hobbies become so. And everybody thinks, ah, I'll take care of Chad. Chad has a second broken car he's working on. He doesn't have any room at his house, right? So he needed to shove this on somebody else's property. And guess what? If you don't tell Chad, come get this fixed, it will live there for years now.

[John Holmberg]

He's actually good about it. He's actually there on the weekends working on it.

[Brett]

Is how. How good a car guy is he that it's still. Still doesn't have an engine?

[John Holmberg]

Basket case. I mean, he bought it.

[Brett]

Like, what's he working on if it doesn't have an ENG engine in it?

[Brady]

What do you mean?

[John Holmberg]

What's he working on? The front suspension. He's changing the front clip.

[Brett]

That doesn't do anything. It doesn't do anything without an engine. It does. It's a roller skate. You people.

[John Holmberg]

It will be one you people someday.

[Brett]

Let me say it to you, Brett, for the first time. The thing that you say to so many others. You people, they're all the same.

[Brady]

You know, he should.

[Brett]

They're all the same.

[Brady]

We should do that thing with people during the summer. They. They rent their pools to the vrba. Should do that with a mechanical garage. Set up a garage.

[Brett]

The only time dad's working there.

[Brady]

Rent it out.

[Brett]

Brett's not going to do that because unless he has a second guy come. You only charge the second guy he needs for his heart to keep beating. A broken car in his property. Your dad's House didn't have some friend's car on it, did it? Recently?

[John Holmberg]

Not for. No, not recently.

[Brett]

Okay. All right.

[John Holmberg]

He did.

[Brett]

Of course he did. You have to. That's beautiful. Oh, thank you, Brad. That's nice. I started to think, man, the world's topsy turvy. We were gonna go off our axis if Brett didn't have a busted car on his property. Thank you, Chad. I've never met Chad, but Chad's done the work of a. Of a thousand men. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-900. Celebrating my new. I might as well host motor Week at this point with what I'm doing with windshield wipers.

[Brady]

Chad, have you ever gotten someone say to you about your car, how many hours you put in on this?

[Brett]

And the answer would be a good 30 minutes. The other day would be like three. Like, no, kid, in three hours. Yeah, three or four hours this week. What'd you do? I couldn't get the windshield wipers. Right. And actually, if you technically want to say how many hours I put into the car this week, it's. We're at like 60. Because I haven't finished the job. Evidently on the white one, it's. The clock is still ticking because I haven't taken the blue off of the strips.

[Brady]

I got over 2, 000 hours.

[Brett]

I don't even know what that means. I'm not a pilot. I don't get it. You know what? Nobody asked. Brady's never been asked, and I've never asked. Can I park my junker at your house? No. I don't want a broken car in my yard. Car guys love it. Let's get a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up. It's out of control now. 98k upd morning sickness. Thank you. Miles to nowhere. The official day of them being our theme song. And it all changes on Monday when we get into play. Doo. They'll. They'll still be the official. But now we're in the search. They're. I know they're short time and I know we loved it. It was a great year of great team stuff. Yeah. This is. It starts on Monday. Care for n. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to war Monday, boys. Going to war. Pledio's back about my windshield wipers. Guys, this. I hope when you finally give up your back door to that special boy, you remember to take the blue protective coating off. All right? That's enough about the windshield wipers. Jerks. And I had a guy say he builds custom cars and that's his job. And he said, and I too, have left the blue plastic coating on the windshield wipers, not knowing. I don't understand it. It was in. It was in a bag, and inside the bag was a cardboard box. And inside the cardboard box was a plastic box that the windshield wipers were in. Three elements of protection from the elements. There is absolutely no need to have a protective sleeve over the. It wasn't going to see the light of day. The way they had it packaged, you.

[Brady]

Just helped a lot of people.

[Brett]

I think I did a lot of. A lot of people driving around going, oh, they're not supposed to be blue. I really actually kind of enjoyed the color, too. I thought it was neat. Very rain x.

[John Holmberg]

What a match, the bronco, if that's what you're doing.

[Brett]

I actually thought of that. I'm like, yeah, these. This is going to match a new car when I get these blue blades for the new one. This is great. Scott has a great suggestion for you. Brady's. Like, walk around with a dialysis ify when you go into autozone and then you can make them do anything you want. You're never going to question your manhood. That's a good idea. If you need dialysis ever make it mobile and get some car work done.

[Brady]

By those cord hanging on my side.

[Brett]

Yeah. Have the port always available. Gonna do it myself. But then just point to the port.

[Brady]

Port.

[Brett]

We'll help you out, sir. Poor guy.

[Frank]

Yeah, I know what I'm doing. I can change a transmission in like.

[Brett]

Eight or nine seconds. But the port, it's a good move. It's a very good move. I want to say this, too. I just got a text from Jonathan over there at Verlo mattress, and he goes, hey, how about I do this? Boy, Black Friday sales are now two, three months long. Remember, it was just a day. And that tells me one thing and one thing only. The economy. Like, nobody's buying anything. Like, something's going on. Because these guys are like, we got to do the specials longer. Because it used to be the day that brought everybody out of the red, and now it's a month. But furlough mattress, which, by the way, I have in the prime days three.

[Brady]

Times a year for sure.

[Brett]

Jonathan at Verlo wants to do 30% off the MSRP on all mattress collections he's got. And all you have to do is mention hms. It's a store out in Glendale. It's huge. And if you're looking for a new mattress, these things are awesome and super affordable. So Jonathan's running a hell of a shop up there. He's a local guy, and I really want to kind of help him out because he's, you know, morning bread kind of deal out here, and he's working his own company. He's got. He's got this operation he's put his life savings into. And I met him a long time ago. He's just a hell of a guy. And so he's got this deal. He's like, hey, mention HMS, I'll give you 30 off. That's a deal. That rental house, I filled it with Verlo Mattresses. They're awesome, by the way. And the bed frames, oh, my God. Outstanding. So going out. Thanks, Jonathan. That's really cool of you to do that. And that was just kind of out of the blue this morning, so. Good job, kid. We're proud of you. Keep it together. Support the local team. How about the guys around you? Jonathan's good people. There's a thing that I don't know if you saw last night. Miss Mexico was named Miss Universe. She won that thing over in Thailand. How long did this go on?

[Brady]

Did you know Steve Byrne hosted?

[Brett]

Oh, did he?

[Brady]

Yeah. I don't know if it's. Has it happened?

[Brett]

I don't know, because he just.

[Brady]

There was two posts saying, I'm on my way over, by the way. I don't know how it picked me, but it's.

[Brett]

He's Asian. Yeah. They probably just found him and said he's gonna fit in here because it's Thailand.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Joe Coy was busy, so.

[Brett]

And Coy won't go to the other feet, but the. He filling up so far, the. Like, for the last week and a half, we've been getting news about, like, controversy at this pageant. The one guy yelled at a girl, called her dummy, then the judges lost their minds. I'm like, how many days in a row was this pageant going on that they finally just crowned?

[Brady]

It could have been Miss Latino Universe or.

[Brett]

No, this is Miss Universe. It's Miss Mexico. Fatima Bosch wins after two weeks. Viral confrontation. Pageant executives walk out. Controversial pageant. It's the one Miss Universe in Thailand, and they gave it to Miss Mexico. And I think it's. I mean, who's watching these? How do you have controversy? I think we're taking ourselves a little too seriously, that there are legal ramifications and judge tampering with Miss Universe. Who cares?

[John Holmberg]

I haven't watched it since the Internet came around.

[Brett]

Of course, one ruined it. There's no reason to get excited over a pageant. And by the way, for all pageant people, let me speak for us normals. We see you all as crazy people. As quickly as I identified what a car guy looks like and then nailed it. Pageant girls are the same. There isn't a guy out there, not one, who is into the pageant girl. They are insane people from the outside. Because most likely we know that we're going to have. If we deal with you, there's going to be an overbearing mother somewhere involved in this. And that is a deal breaker. Pageant women are crazy. If you're thinking about putting your kids in pageants, you're just building a nut ball. And they don't fit in in society anymore at all. Pageant ladies don't, like, fall into the normal society. Pageant moms are especially nuts because they're living their life. They're their daughters. But. So I don't understand the pageant. And I think it's just high time if we've got lawyers involved, shut down the pageant and just have a online beauty contest and call it what it is. The minute they ruined it is when they started to say, it's not about our beauty. What is it then? It's about our brains. Then take a math test. Why are you putting that on tv?

[John Holmberg]

Go spelling bee.

[Brett]

Yeah, spelling bee. Do some math. It's called the SATs. We already have a brain pageant. It's called school. We don't need a brain pageant on tv. Where you walking around in a night nightgown and telling me you're smart. Knock it off. The pageant thing is ridiculous. And they said three judges have compromised the end results. Let me tell you. Let me speak for the world. Nobody gives a about the end results. Is she hot or not? Is all we say. Nobody ever looks at the. Hey, Miss Mexico won. It's like, what's her SAT score? No one's ever asked that. No one's ever said that. They're just like, oh, she's hot. I looked at Miss Mexico and I'm like, no, we cropped this year. Evidently, she's not that great. If you are a pageant person, I'm not disparaging you. You may not know. The world sees you as a lunatic. You are an undateable. Why are you so hot and alone? Yeah, I know. I was the same way. She's not that great. Wow. She looks. I'm glad I don't watch pageants. This is.

[John Holmberg]

That's Ridiculous.

[Brett]

She's got a little trans, a little clown. Last thing she looks is Mexican. Looks like Manson and she's like 22. She looks like she's about 45.

[John Holmberg]

Looks like Marilyn Manson.

[Brett]

She does have a Manson drive about her.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brett]

Fatima Bosch.

[Brady]

Nah.

[Brett]

I looked at it and I'm like, I don't even know that I'd approach her. And if I feel like she's not good enough for me. You run in a bad pageant.

[Frank]

But it's about her brain.

[Brett]

No school scores are about your brain. This is about her cans and her face or otherwise. She wouldn't wear that much makeup. Who was she?

[John Holmberg]

Who did she beat out? Did they say, let's look that one?

[Brett]

Thousands of other.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I didn't know if there was a specific one. They were.

[Brett]

Well, I don't know what happened. Somebody called her dumb about a week ago and it made the news. Miss Thailand was last year's winner and she's actually hot. So then they hosted this year. Thailand had it. She was pretty. But is she the one with the dick? Didn't one of them have a dick last year?

[Brady]

That might not have been missed Universe. That could have been.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. But I think you move on to Miss Universe from the one with the dick. I think that was Miss USA Goes to Miss Universe.

[John Holmberg]

Let's see which pageant member had a dick.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which. Which major pageant? Because you can have the dick pageants too. You're gonna get into a wormhole there on your computer. But I think one of them had it. She was hot, by the way. She looked great. The one with the dick. You're not going to get a legitimate search here anyway. Yeah, well, there was. That first picture was a little bit. I mean they'd have a dick pageant over there, but it would be totally different. 93. 3.

[John Holmberg]

Miss Vietnam looks like, well, I don't know, working up there.

[Brett]

Is that her? Oh, history made. It says she's hot. She's got a wiener. That's what it says, man. And she was Miss Universe Pageant history at stake. Newly crowned Miss Universe. Click on that. That I think that she won last year. Philippines, man. That's a good looking man. Yang Hong Kong becomes the first Asian trans woman to represent Vietnam at Miss Universe 2025. Okay, there you go. That was last year. And she lost because she had. You could see her dick through her evening gown. And that is a deal breaker. Even though it's about your brain, if your dick and ball show through your evening gown, the judges take points off. And I know that's not fair because it's external. But damn it all, they've got rules.

[Brady]

She picked the wrong dress.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's too tight in the middle. Should have gone with some sort of a. You know, one of those deals they used to wear in the 1800s where the ladies look like they were hiding greyhounds under their dresses.

[Brady]

And her talent, the ring toss. Really?

[Brett]

Oh, it was really weird because she was the recipient and her brother was throwing the rings. It was like Billie Eilish brother did a lot of the work.

[Brady]

Someone else, they're just uncomfortable. It was a family thing.

[Brett]

Yeah. They brought out the whole family. They're doing on the trapeze and then they'd land on it and stand on top of it and balance. I mean, it was impressive because she had to keep a heart on for over half an hour and balance her Vietnamese family, but. And then she stirred up some food and it was pretty impressive. But. Yeah, and pageant girls. I'm. I'm telling you, we've. We've tolerated the Brett's. Right? The Internet ruined everything. There's no reason for you anymore. Be a regular girl who wants attention and get an only fans page because your pageant stuff is. It's. It's just labeling you as insane and.

[Brady]

From the Sinaloa region. Mexico.

[Brett]

Well, that's what I'm looking at. I'm looking at pictures of Miss Mexico right now. And I feel like the cartel had something to do with this because look at all the.

[Brady]

I saw rundown when they're saying where they're from and I. I can't help but think the same thing. All the South American countries of women, right? Colombia.

[Brett]

Yeah. They're. They're sponsored by bad money. And this guy text says Miss Africa fell off the stage. And he sends me the clip where it clearly says Miss Jamaica falls off stage of racist. That's it. Not even close.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say I thought it was somebody else.

[Brett]

Not even close. You just saw a black lady fall off at Miss Universe and he's like, yeah, one of the African girls fell down.

[John Holmberg]

Miss Maryvale fell off.

[Brett]

Actually might have been Miss South Mountain. Either way, it's time to end it. And if you're getting your daughter all dolled up this weekend for a pageant and these words hurt you, it's because you know they're true. Much like Brett fought for a little bit about car guys having a broken car in their yard until we found out about Chad's truck. There's truths in this universe and they're. They're Undeniable. They're, they're, they're locked in stone. Inalienable. They're, they are truths. And one of them is that there isn't a normal guy in the world that sees a pageant girl and thinks she's stable. We all, we know you're nuts. We know it. And your ego is just, it's intolerable. And you're. Except for that one we met. Remember the one we met at the Phoenix Open? Yeah, she seemed super great. But that was a Miss early on, right? Wasn't that like, was she a miss or a Mrs. I don't remember.

[Brady]

I thought she was a Miss.

[Brett]

I think that one's more normal. I think that one makes the most sense if you're older and you're doing it because it's like, you know what? I still got it. And they have a little pageant and they can, they did the beauty thing. It wasn't first college scholarships or school. They knew what it was for. And she walked into the Phoenix Open. I'm like, who's that seven foot woman in a crown? And immediately they started knocking. And she was awesome. She was the sweetest person in the world too. But I think she was like past the college scholarship time. It was more about like, look, I know what this is. I'm beautiful and I'm going to show it off. And she seemed stable. She was actually fun. But pageant people are scary. I even talked to her about her. I'm like, those pageant women are awful, aren't they? She goes, oh, no, they're all so sweet. I'm like, you have to say that. I'm not a judge. What's the truth? Oh, there's a few. Like, there we go, there we go.

[Brady]

And weren't there at one time too, competing, like, Trump had one.

[Brett]

Like, one was Miss America, Miss America, Miss usa. Yeah. Trump owned Miss usa. And that was the, technically, that was the sexier of this Hawaiian tropics. Well, and Trump saw the writing on the wall before the Internet. And you know, you can hate Trump all you want, but back in the 90s, the dude was figuring stuff out. Miss America went on this thing saying, no, we're wholesome. It's not about looks. It's going to be focused more on poise and their ability to talk and answer questions. And like. And Trump's like, bikinis, because they said no bikinis. For Miss America, it was one pieces. And that's when Trump's brain went up. Sales opportunities. And he started Miss USA and he put him in bikinis. So they got a little sluttier and a little bit more about what it's truly about, which is your looks, which is 100% true. Only to the pageant people is it about scholarships and smarts. Everybody watching? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Great. Good. That's all aside world peace. It's not worth it. If we look back at pageants from the beginning and all of them wanted world peace and that was their goal.

[Frank]

If I win this American, I'll strive.

[Brett]

To help for world peace. It has never worked. You've never accomplished a little bit of it.

[John Holmberg]

Let's see the cans.

[Brett]

Yeah. You want world peace?

[Brady]

What it is?

[Brett]

You want to distract the world. Let me see that thing. Do stuff with it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

If you're like. And I'll show. I promise I'll stop all wars by letting enemy and Ally see my. All right, let's hear it for. Wow. That's Miss Nebraska. I think she's going to win.

[Brady]

I will fight. Insurance company. Lower medical bills.

[Brett]

Right? They always have. Like they're running for something. I said you're not hot enough. We don't care about your world peace. You need to be hotter. So it's a very. It's over. The time is over. Brett's right. Only fans the Internet. We have our Miss Americas. We have our Miss Universes now. And it's called porn. And that's really what we want from people who are parading around. We don't care about your smarts when you're. When there's a screen between us. Unless you're on Jeopardy. I don't care about what you know and what you don't know. But if we're in person, suddenly I'm going to be more interested is this person an idiot or not? But if there's a screen between us and you're on one side and I'm on the other and we can't really hear each other. All I'm doing is looking at you. And I speak for everyone else. Brett and I would never go. Hey, Miss Universe is on tonight. I hope the smartest one wins, bro. What channel? Yeah. It's never been a contest. We're not. We're not texting each other. Oh, what a great answer. It's never been said no. Huh?

[Frank]

You guys are sexualizing us.

[Brett]

You didn't know that? Hi, my name is John. I'm a man. It's nice to meet you. Speaking of, got this email from a guy named Jonathan. Not from Vero. Different. John says, hey, guys, I've been dating a girl lately and she's awesome. She's got a great job, she takes care of herself. Good credit score, John. I followed your advice. And an awesome personality. Yeah. Always go with a 750 plus on credit. If not, you're going to be paying her bills forever. That never changes. Credit scores a precursor forever. It's a big red flag. She's going to spend all your money and ruin you. It's a nice job. Jonathan says the other night she asked me about my past and if I had one and you know, we're getting to that level to talk about our lives. So I said yeah, I do have a bit of a past. And I gave her my body count. It's around 18 people. Which I thought might turn her off a little bit. Bit. She said that? She said my past was pretty wild. I don't know if you actually want to know. I'm pretty open minded guy. And I really like her. Nothing really structurally wrong with her. So she hits me with the fact that her body count is over 200 men and women which I did not see coming. And she also used to take money from older men to be their girlfriend for events and parties and occasionally have sex with with them. She used to sell pictures online of herself to guys she didn't know. And she said the reason she wanted to tell me is she didn't want me to be surprised if any of her past ever resurfaced. She said it was 10 years ago was the last time she did any of the bad stuff before she started to turn her life around. She's 39. I'm a little bothered by this, but should I be? Please talk me out of it because otherwise I think she's a great girl. Jonathan. Wow, that's a tough one. 200 plus on the body count.

[John Holmberg]

You know she puts out at least.

[Brett]

Well yeah. And hopefully he's learned that already. He wouldn't be talking about this. She was a prostitute. Let's just call it what it is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, they all are.

[Brett]

Well, Brett's checked that box and knocked it out. That's true. They've all taken some currency for sex.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Whether it be dinner, whether it be a concert, at one point or another.

[Brett]

They had sex with somebody they probably didn't want to because the guy went way out of his way.

[Brady]

Right.

[Brett]

And they're like, I should probably at least give this guy a hand job. That's a. That is a transaction. Yes, that's prostitution. So Brett's right. Now, multiple transactions. Does that change your mind?

[John Holmberg]

I mean I got to Give it to her for being honest.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, because most would not do that.

[Brett]

Here's my question I would have had at that dinner. Are you telling me this because you've had a relationship where it did come back and you're setting it up? He's like, I can't have that again. Like, otherwise she could just keep it under wraps. My guess is Jonathan, and I'm good at this, is that the last boyfriend and her were at dinner and some guy came up and started to talk to her. Are you still in the business or do you still sell pictures? And he's like, what the hell's going on? And she was kind of blindsided by her past attacking her when she didn't want it to. So she's setting up that to not happen again. She's learned from the past.

[Brady]

There's a good chance we'll run into an ex, that.

[Brett]

That I was in this city and that someone's going to come up or someone will meet me and know someone else and they'll go. And then it'll get back to you. And I don't want that to get back to you and surprise you. So my guess is she's run into this before.

[Brady]

Was that important for everyone in the beginning of body count?

[Brett]

What do you mean?

[Brady]

Like, did you ever have that discussion with. I never really did.

[John Holmberg]

I. I've talked to come up.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't important, and it wasn't no.

[Brett]

Problem knowing what they've done got.

[Brady]

It's a little aggressive at or. But I understand some people want to know that.

[Brett]

Well, I mean, there's.

[Brady]

Because then now all of a sudden, that person's like.

[Brett]

Right.

[Brady]

They're. They've got four under the belt or three or whatever, and they're looking at a 50, 60 count.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, I mean, you get into 100, 200, she can't keep track. And some of it was transactional. Financially. That's a little different.

[Brady]

That's.

[Brett]

That's. She was running a business. This.

[Brady]

That's why, like, are you sure you want to answer that? Ask that question?

[Brett]

Well, I personally. The past doesn't bother me.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Whatever you did before led you to this. And we're here together and you seem okay to me. That's my job, to judge somebody and say they're. They're in the circle or they're not.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

But you start telling me I was a prostitute for a little while. I used to do this, I used to do that, and it's going to come up. The embarrassment factor of the future might be like, oh, do I see this person as less than I did before? That's what you have to ask yourself, Jonathan. You have to say, do I now see her as less than I did before? Are you now judging her a little differently and taking her off that pedestal of like, oh, she was a Cindy.

[Brady]

Let me ask you something. Could you leave that part right question out when we go over to my folks? Yes.

[Brett]

Let's not be too open about. Let's keep that in our little bubble platform. Right now, here's where you run into that 200 plus, you take money from old guys. She does come over for dinner with dad, and Dad's buddy Hank, who's got his truck parked in the backyard, is sitting there going, I know her. I remember you. Why do I know you? And she's like, oh, God. And then now your brain's gonna be like, well, why does Hank know you? And now you're sitting. You're sitting there going, did you bang Hank?

[Brady]

How much longer is dinner?

[Brett]

Yeah. Good Lord. That is. That's the sweetest piece of pie I've ever tasted in my life. Hank, that's my girlfriend. Yeah. Well, it is now 150 bucks. That should be mine in about a half hour. So be careful with it. But if it, you know, you just have to.

[Brady]

Downside of growing up in a small town.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. If you're. Yeah, yeah. If you're. She's got a 200 body count and there's only 1500 people in, you know, Mount Sawsville. Then you know John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 Kupda. Holmberg's morning sickness. But, yeah, you're dating a former. I think Brett would tell you right now, watch Casino.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

If you watch Casino, you'll realize that sometimes she can't leave it as close as it seems like she might.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes there's always that Lester Diamonds out there. Yeah.

[Brett]

So. So thanks for emailing us. It's a good question.

[John Holmberg]

Then you got to be careful because your best friend might start banging her, too.

[Brett]

Exactly. That's exactly what happened. How she got the BJ and did her in the car. Oh. Actually did her in the office.

[John Holmberg]

And that was transactional, too.

[Brett]

Absolutely. Because he was going to do her some favor after if she did this for him. You're right. She's going to bang Joe Pesci. You got to get out of this. You're going to get killed. Your car's going to get exploded into Tony Roma's in Miami.

[Brady]

Put an extra plate of the driver's side.

[Brett]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah. Always have that steel plate underneath. Because those old Cadillacs, that was coincidence. But that's what. So you would. You don't. You would never discuss body count because it would probably bother you.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah. You think if a girl said, I slept with, like, 35 guys or, I.

[Brady]

Mean, just the fact that. Oh, man, what if she's like, I've won or I haven't.

[Brett]

Yeah. Oh, she's a virgin. You get out of there.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Brett]

Let somebody else just work that ball glove in.

[Brady]

But then you turn around and say, whatever that number is, and it's. It's doubled.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You'd feel like. It's hard not to say, well, oh, geez, I had a little more than you did.

[Brett]

Yeah. But once. I. I just don't. That doesn't.

[Brady]

I don't think really is. I don't think you really need to talk about it, because.

[Brett]

I think in this case.

[Brady]

Because the same problem would happen if the person had 200.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Then if they had one and you run into that one and she still has a relationship with him.

[Brett]

That's different. That's totally different. If she's still hanging out with the guy and everything else. You're like, wait a minute now. You got.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You got ex boyfriend.

[Brady]

Hanging out with him for a while. He seems like a great guy.

[Brett]

Is there a. Yeah. I don't. You shouldn't really, like, hang out with somebody that they're. I, I, you know, their ex boyfriend's still around all the time, and it's like, why is he still here? Oh, we're just best of friends, and we go out to, like, lunches together. I'm like, all right, this isn't over.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Like, I'm fine with you having friends, but this. This one's not over. You have to cut that out. That's not real.

[John Holmberg]

Who asked who? Do we know that? And did he ask her or did she ask him out?

[Brett]

I think she kind of set it up like body counts.

[Brady]

He.

[Brett]

He. Well, the way he wrote it. If I'm. Because I already tossed it in the trash. Let me find it again. The way he wrote it kind of led me to believe that it was just more of a chatting during.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

Breakfast Here, let me see. So the other night, she asked me. Oh. She asked me if I had a past. When you just kind of casually bring that up, I don't think that matters to anybody. Everybody's got a past.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely.

[Brett]

So you can sit down. Oh, yeah. I wasn't I wasn't overly active, but I. You know, I got. I got my. I got my oats.

[Brady]

And it's okay to talk about.

[Brett]

Sure.

[Brady]

Exes in the past. Oh, you know.

[Brett]

Oh, that's crucial.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You have to know why her last relationships ended. You have to know what happened in there. Oh, he tried to kill me. I talked to a girl. It's out there. We weren't, like, dating or anything, but I was just chatting with somebody, and somebody said, she's a wild one. I'm like, what? She's got stories. And I turn him, like, what stories do you have? And she goes, oh, well, you know, I was dating a guy for a little while, and he's in jail now. I'm like, what happened? She goes, well, I broke up with him, and he came over to my house and he chucked a Molotov cocktail through my window. And I'm like, what? And he goes, yeah. He gets out. And I'm like, you don't want that guy. He's obsessed and murderous. He used to date murderers, and he's in jail for attempted murder because he tried to kill her, threw Molotov cocktail at her, and said that wasn't the only guy she dated that she put in jail. I'm like, oh, see, it's not that.

[Brady]

Big of a deal.

[Brett]

Right? See, that's fine. But that's not about the sex. That's about trying to find out what happened in your life that led you to this.

[Brady]

Yeah. And sometimes there's funny stories.

[Brett]

Well, there's the thing. You know, when you're dating a lady with a kid or something, and she's like, where's the dad? First question you should be, where's the dad? Is he gonna be mad at me? Is he murderous? Does he hate you? Like, how much drama is this in your ex? And if they say, oh, we're still friends, you're like, all right, that's good. Good. But if they say, oh, he's in jail. Oh, he's a deadbeat. I hate him. You're like, oh, this is bad. That's why I always say you always know if you're dating a single mom. First off, not recommended. But if you are, find out about the dad. It's not about her. It's about the dude that's lingering around whose kid you're now touching. Not like that. You know what I mean? Yeah. So the danger. That's good. Good to know about the past. And now you found out that your current girlfriend, who you like a. Of Lot as a whore, or at least was. That's up to you.

[Brady]

And you. You say that she's not. She will always. She's an earner.

[Brett]

No, I'm saying that. Well, yeah. I mean, it's part of her skin. She wears that.

[Brady]

Sure. As far as going back.

[Brett]

She is an earner.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Whether she goes back to it or not is not the question. You know, I used to play a lot of baseball. It's not like I'm walking around, but it is part of, like, how, you know, the team mentality and how I learned to be who I am. So it is part of who I am them. But it doesn't mean I'm gonna fall back into thinking I've got a baseball drink.

[Brady]

That's what I meant.

[Brett]

She might be all done with that, but it is still a prevalent part of who she is now and can haunt her. Much like I can go to a dinner and have a dude from my baseball team come up. Go homework. They can. Your past can find you and say yay. And then you got to do some explaining. When Hank, the guy with the truck in the backyard, turns out, used to hand your girlfriend 200 bucks every couple Fridays and give her the goofy woods back in the days.

[John Holmberg]

So if that came up and. And Megan said that to you, would.

[Brett]

That she was a prostitute.

[John Holmberg]

Well, would that be an issue for you.

[Brett]

Now?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, back in the day when you first started. Yeah, it sounds like they're fresh, you.

[Brett]

Know, like if I found out now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Then it's like, that's shocking.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brett]

I can't say because I don't know. I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know that you can be the same person and have a prostitute cast. You know, she's got some edges on her. I bet a prostitute girl, there's some rough edges.

[John Holmberg]

She has to. With the career path she chose.

[Brett]

She's not a baseball card in mint condition.

[John Holmberg]

She's a PSA 6.

[Brett]

She's a PSA 6. You're not getting full pull on that when you try to sell her.

[John Holmberg]

Not centered corners a little.

[Brett]

Maybe a crazy red. She cannot lost some color. She has not been. Yes, she's lost a lot. She's. She's not been in a protective coated packing for her entirety.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe not quite baseball spokes, but bicycle.

[Brett]

Spokes, but, you know, slutty's different than prostitute. If a girl came and goes, I used to be a. I was a bad girl. But you Know when I've reformed my ways, I figured out that wasn't the right life for me. Prostitute is a little different. I mean, that is one that. That you're like, all right, that is. You know, I don't know how it's.

[Brady]

You only have so much flight time with women.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Brady]

Well, they start off strong right off the bat.

[Brett]

Dudes can be horse.

[Brady]

I'm through that.

[Brett]

Yeah. I think, you know, guy can be a. Have a high body count and women have to kind of tolerate it. So I think in this as long as the parts didn't get all ruined. You know, going back to Brett's car thing, if it's too many miles a flap chain.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Maybe he likes it it. I mean, my friend has told me he enjoys looking at the. The ones that look like they've had a vacuum up against it for the last seven to 10 years. He's trying to sucker insides out. Anyway, thanks for the email. I appreciate. Another one that we got. I wanted to do this one for Brett. Did I not print that? You're gonna like this one.

[John Holmberg]

Don't make me.

[Brett]

It was. Well, it's called. It's. Our friend Kevin Falcone has a question he wants to do as an Italian.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

And I thought this was actually fairly. It's a good question for you, essentially.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

Let's just start with. First off, we'll go here. We're gonna play asking Italian.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett]

Email is from Kevin Falcon. Kevin Falcon says dear breath. My son Yogi Falcone. I want him to become an Italian.

[John Holmberg]

Yogi Falcone, come on.

[Frank]

I want him to be a real Italian man.

[Brett]

He's six. What age can he watch the Godfather? And which is better, Goodfellas or the Godfather? We're planning to do doo wop by a trash can by a fire for his sixth birthday.

[John Holmberg]

I want to go to that. I never said I want to go to a kids party, but I'm there.

[Brett]

What's the proper age to show an Italian boy the Godfather out of the womb? Right?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, yeah. I mean, come on.

[Brett]

It's just to be running on a little. Yeah. You gotta be a little tired.

[Brady]

Images, I think I would say not so much.

[John Holmberg]

In the Godfather, there's not really.

[Brett]

Sonny gets shot at.

[Brady]

That.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

But that's about it. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Imagery wise imagery.

[Brett]

It's not that bad. I think they can have it both.

[Brady]

Go in the mobile instead of music.

[Brett]

That would be good. Yes. The mobile is this. Oh, yeah, yeah. Or this. Yeah. But that's the wedding song. So here's my suggestion. I'm not Italian, so maybe I've overstepped my bounds here. This should be how he learns English. You just show it to him as a baby, constantly, until his first words are like, you're crying like a woman. And then he takes a swing at his mother. That's good Italian behavior.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely.

[Brett]

You run that thing and like, pause it and try to get him to. His first words should be Michael. Right. He should have that in his room always.

[John Holmberg]

Or Don Corlen.

[Brett]

Don Corleone would be nice.

[John Holmberg]

Sunny.

[Brett]

Yeah. His first words aren't mom, it's Don. Mom and dad is mom and dad. To mom and dad together, kind of. Don Don. Oh, he's a true dying boy. So I think showing the kid the Godfather, like Brett said, I think out of the womb's a little early.

[John Holmberg]

No, never. Never too early for the Godfather.

[Brett]

You take him home. When you build the kids room, the walls are blue, and then in the corner, they're red, white, and green. You gotta have the red, white, and green. There's a TV in his room that has the Godfather on all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brett]

In a beautiful fountain always in the room. Have to have a fountain.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I mean, if you don't already, you've blown it.

[John Holmberg]

He gets a little bit older, you show him the Godfather too, because then that brings back the heritage back in the old country and, you know.

[Brett]

But I think we've nailed it. To have a true Italian boy named Yogi Falcone, his first words should have been Michael, I have a question. Or I know it was you. Like, those have to be the first words.

[John Holmberg]

Or I have an offer you can't refuse.

[Brett]

What was the one he said? You break in my heart. Those things, they got. Sunny. If your kids first words are, they got Sonny or Don Corleone or Michael or you're breaking my heart.

[John Holmberg]

Or Luca Brzzi sleeps with the fishes.

[Brett]

Luca Brzzi sleeps with the fishes. You've got an official Italian kid of each. And then, you know, there's the thing, cuz your kid's five, Kevin, he's already talking. After you show your Italian boy the Godfather. Just. Just look at him at the end and go, what did you take from that Yogi? And if Yogi turns to you and go, luca Brzzi swims with a fishy. He's a good boy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then you gotta quiz himself.

[Brett]

Brother's Fredo, right?

[John Holmberg]

You gotta quiz him too. Do you drop the gun or the canoli?

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. Ah, drop the gun or the canoli. And also the other Part of the quiz is, should she have gotten the abortion? If your 5 year old can answer that, she didn't consult with Michael first. The bitch should die. That's a good five year old.

[John Holmberg]

That's in. That's in Godfather, too.

[Brett]

So he's got abortions too.

[John Holmberg]

Older.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah, that was in the first one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brett]

Oh, geez. All right, I've jumped ahead. Well, I'm. Well, that's right. That's right. Oh, my God. Oh, Michael went crazy. Rightfully so. That was the heir to the throne, but she didn't want him to be like him. Yogi's gonna have a good life. Show him this weekend. Kevin, if you owe him at least. At least one viewing, possibly back to.

[John Holmberg]

Back, I would say don't show them three.

[Brett]

Oh, don't do two yet. I don't think you're ready for two.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. Two's a little bit older.

[Brady]

Godfather ready for good, fellas.

[Brett]

That's a teenage thing, I think, right?

[John Holmberg]

I'd say preteen, but you think?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You know, you're Italian.

[John Holmberg]

10, 11.

[Brett]

10 or 11. You can watch Goodfellas.

[John Holmberg]

I think so. I think so. You got, you know, you gotta be.

[Brett]

Brought up the right way. Start learning about RICO charges and, like, surveillance violence.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

When you're already.

[John Holmberg]

Casino is probably a teenage movie.

[Brett]

Casino is mob related. It's very heavily done, but it's not very heavily. Yeah, it's just that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Pesci is, you know.

[Brett]

Yeah, he's very mob. I mean, I'm just looking at it like relation. That's more relationships, teens.

[John Holmberg]

You're starting to deal with the horrors and everything else and learn a little bit about Ginger.

[Brady]

But you certainly would learn a lot. It's almost like a school semester. Sopranos.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well, yeah.

[Brady]

Because that's a one, you know, you keep.

[Brett]

Yeah, but he has to multiple. He has to understand the Godfather at summer school to understand.

[Brady]

That's base.

[John Holmberg]

Summer school was the Sopranos.

[Brett]

That's actually a master class at once. You understand the Godfathers. Yeah. All right, so he's. He's five going.

[John Holmberg]

I say you're starting late.

[Brett]

Actually, you're way. You're way behind the eight ball.

[John Holmberg]

I think you need to start today.

[Brett]

I mean, he's immediately. He's borderline twink right now. You got to get this kid into the guyfire. I mean, you're blowing it. Kevin. I like Kevin. I met Yogi. I like Kevin and Yogi. They were great. And if your mom. Or your mom. If his mom. If your wife is like, you can't.

[Frank]

Go showing him in these movies at five.

[Brady]

Kevin.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want him to be a man. So I think that's good. Asking Italian. I think that's a very good question. And I think you answered it well. I think we came up with a nice solution. Absolutely. Get that TV in his bedroom. Make it like a 90 incher. Don't skimp. Get a big television. Yeah, they're Godfather.

[Brady]

You know how to acquire one.

[Brett]

He'll get a TV, it'll fall off a truck. Get a 90 inch insignia. It's an insignia.

[Brady]

It's a couple of calls.

[Brett]

What do you got in there? He's got letters in the middle. I'm not a fan of, but insignia. Anywho, 90 inches. The kid watches a Godfather in a loop all the time. At night time, we turn the TV off, we turn the mobile on. This place and the kids, we're growing up Italian.

[Brady]

90 on the wall. 90 on the ceiling.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've got a projection. This is great. I just bought this. It's a projection tube and it's got all the apps on it. It's a television. You shoot it onto your ceiling. It's 4K. It's perfect. It's amazing. It's the size of your phone.

[Brady]

No, but how big?

[Brett]

This screen, as big as you want it to be. If you pull it back further, it gets bigger.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty clean, too. Good resolution.

[Brett]

Crystal.

[Brady]

Nice.

[Brett]

Fantastic. There you go. That goes in Yogi's room right now, the only problem is ceiling fan. Screw it up so you can lay in bed and look.

[Brady]

So you're watching all your Disney cartoons on that.

[Brett]

Anything I want? Yes. I mean, just so happens you're right. But yes, you can watch anything you want.

[John Holmberg]

Send Kevin the link for that.

[Brett]

Yeah, Kevin, on that. You need to. Yeah, you need to surround. And there should be pictures of Corleone and Michael and Tony. The whole gang. No, like Donald Ducks and Winnie the Poohs on his wall.

[John Holmberg]

And skip the Travolta Gotti movie. Oh, do not do that.

[Brett]

The kid who played John Gotti Jr. Died yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really?

[Brett]

Yeah. 33 years old. The problem with him in the Gotti movie is he starts out 17, he ends in his 50s and they didn't do any makeup. He looks like. I'm like, is he still 17? Everybody else got old. That's the worst movie I've ever watched. Anyway, thank you, Kevin. That's a good question, Brett. Well done.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you.

[Brett]

Ask an Italian if you have a question for your. You Know, the Italian American Center, I think, has this debate like every Saturday. All right? Theresa had a baby. How soon do we start showing that baby to Godfather? Well, we hadn't shown him already. I know. I see that. That seems like we're way behind here.

[Frank]

Is he gay yet?

[Brett]

No. He's only four days old.

[Frank]

I'm asking again if he ain't seen.

[Brett]

The Godfather and he's been here over 72 hours. He. He's borderline, you know, he's basically gonna. What do they call those?

[John Holmberg]

A Ricky Own when you're little. You don't. Don't worry. You know, the Italian kids, you don't worry about Dr. Seuss, worry about Mario Puzo.

[Brett]

Dr. Seuss. No.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brett]

Why don't you just put a wang in his mouth? Get him used to it. Why don't you just turn Katie KB on all the time? Dr. Seuss. Yeah, that's. Get your kid used to this one. Nine, three, three. I'll buy him a rainbow shit shirt. Dr. Suits. They can't even say it. Dr. Suits. Theresa's kids in there watching Dr. Suits. Why would he want to watch Dr. Suits? When the Godfather exists, it's five days. He ain't watched it. The kids are Peter Puffer. Five days. You've had him on earth for five days. He ain't watch your Godfather once. All right?

[John Holmberg]

Just change his name to Johnny Cakes at this point. All right?

[Brett]

Just take him over to the drag show because he's gonna end up there, right? Anyway.

[Brady]

10 years, you're going to see some pictures you don't want to see.

[Brett]

Let me go take. Let me take a look at this kid. Is he in his room? He's not watching Godfather. Five days. Unbelievable. Oh, surprise, surprise. He's asleep on his tummy. I knew it. You got to turn that Godfather around. This kid's going on. Going down a. Following a yellow pink road. Anyway, thank you, Kevin. And that's an interesting insight into Italian life life. I had ABBA playing in my house the entire time as a baby, and they hadn't even existed yet, but just Swedish people knew about them.

[John Holmberg]

In an IKEA crib before it even existed.

[Brett]

We all had that stuff.

[Brady]

Screws.

[Brett]

Yeah. I had Kuka, Corve lingonberries, some lutfisk, an IKEA bed, a billy goat shelf sitting in the corner, the billy shelves. Like, what is all this? Your grandparents know about it and nobody else does. It's all ikea. What do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[John Holmberg]

All right, Wake up Song brought to you By Action Ride Shop. And you know, they've been getting snow up north, so it's time to get those skis and snowboards ready. If you need to buy some, you need to rent some. You need any of the gear? Well, Action Ride Shop's going to take care of you right there on Gilbert Road and Southern. You want to hit the trails on the mountain bikes. Well, Gilbert Road and Sun is going to take care of you as well as the brand new Action Ride Shop on Power Road and McDowell. Check them out online. Action Ride Shop.

[Brett]

Hey, for his sixth birthday. Who bought? Who bought? Yogi? What is this called? Jim Henson's Muppet Babies. What the hell? You ain't heard of Hensony's Wapit Babies? We gotta get this on the tv. Muppet Babies. Why don't I just get him the puberty blockers now and we can turn him into a broad immediately. All right.

[John Holmberg]

On the list, Motley Crue. Talking about our car stuff earlier. Fear Factory Cars Ministry. Jesus Spilled my hot rod light to torch Metallica. The Day that never Comes for car guys, because they never seem to finish the projects. Megadeth, Liar for car guys. Manson, the dope show for the pageant. And Frank Stallone, Far from over for Yogi.

[Brett]

He's five years. He's five days old. Well, we got to get him in a Godfather. Somebody. When he's done shaving, let's get him in there and we'll watch the Godfather. Get his pinky ring on. Get his Sunday pinky ring.

[Brady]

Far from over Is the baby shark dark?

[Brett]

Anything Frank Stallone is like, that's a good children's song. Frank Stallone understands the mind of a baby. He gets it. You know I'm talking about is amazing. I like let's do Far from over because it's just a great song. Frank Stallone's far from over. And that was from Staying Alive. Yeah, yeah. All right. Good stuff. Staying Alive's on the list, too. But that's like a comedy, like a funny.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Saturday Night Fever is good, though.

[Brett]

Saturday Fever's a must, but, you know he'll twink out a little bit there. If he ain't seen a Godfather yet, he won't understand why John Travolta's dancing around him. Tight pants.

[Brady]

And don't watch the Travolta Gotti.

[Brett]

Don't watch that.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, you can't see him in Saturday night.

[Brett]

Watch the documentary. Don't watch the movie. It's terrible. Why is Pitbull singing? And God, it's 1978. What's Pitbull doing It. That's a real thing. Is he done shaving? Let's get him in. He's five. Five days old. This kid should have a good shave. He's got hair on his back. This. He's going to be a band. You're going to. You know. Look, I started a grinder account for your 5 day old dancing Godfather. Let's do it. It's Frank Stallone. Far too often we play this song for Yogi. This for you, Yogi. It's far from over. How about that? You're way behind the eight ball there, Kevin. Get that kid in a Godfather theater this weekend or just buy him a dick. It's Frank Stallone. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98. Kupd Goldberg's morning sickness. Morning sickness radiate. All right, that's new Foo Fighters. You can stream that right now. I like it, but Brett and I both have that debate.

[Brady]

Was.

[Brett]

Is that a Foo Fighter song that fits in in the Foo Fighters higher up Archie, or is it just another one that kind of fades? I hate to say it because I like the Foo Fighters and I don't hear from people who don't. I don't care. They were a bike favorite of mine. I could put them on and say, play Foo Fighters. Apple music would play. And I would very rarely have a time where I'm like, skip. And the last three albums, if they come up on my bike ride, it screws up the bike ride. So I've. I no longer do it. It Skip, skip, skip. Yeah, I turn right, turn into Shannon Sharp. Skip, skip, skip. Listen, let some. Skip, skip, Skip. Death from an album. I said not to play Apple Death. What? I said not to play Apple. Put it in your hand. Open your palm. Apple, I hope. Apple. Skip, Skip. I'm not going to play Foo Fighters no more. Anyway, Asking for a Friend is the name. I like that one a lot. But Brett's right. It's an album song. I don't know that. It's a huge. Anyway, I'm getting into Playdoh mode already. Critiquing the Foo. They would win Playdoh with that, that's for sure. Would they? Depends on the competition at 7:54. It's just about that time for Brady to give you all the information that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our friends@allpro ShadeAllProchade.com. you got that area of your house that's got sun Directly banging in light again. My neighbor down the road did it on his front door. He's got a beautiful glass front door, but when the sun sets, the sun goes right into it. And I drove by and on. They didn't put it over the door. They put it over the entryway, and it slides down the sides of the entryway. It's hidden. You cannot see it unless it's down. And even when you do, it looks great. Brilliant move. And it's beautiful. It's motorized, all that. It looks outstanding. These guys do that work. They'll make it fit your house to where it actually accentuates your home. It looks like it's supposed to be there. It doesn't look like just an attachment that shouldn't be, but it's providing a service. And right now, if you get the motorized shades, all pro shade, we'll throw in a heater. These cool nights, cool days, you want to sit outside, but you don't want the sun directly on you or glaring down at you. Get a little heat under there as well. If it day bleeds in tonight and you're sitting outside, the heater is beautiful. And they'll throw that in. So check it out. AllProchade.com. that's where you go. Brady, report it.

[Brady]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Langston Kerman]

Hello, world.

[Brady]

We've made it.

[Brett]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Stuffing Day and National Gingerbread Cookie Day.

[Brett]

How's today? National Stuffing Day? That's Thursday. You don't. You don't jump the gun here.

[Brady]

Give you ideas for Thursday.

[Brett]

Maybe that's the premature E. Jack of Thanksgiving. You don't stuffing the Saturday before. Then you've overstuffed. I didn't do it. And you're not shrugging your shoulders.

[Brady]

What are you against?

[Frank]

Why would you not have stuffing again?

[Brett]

That's too much stuffing. Stuffing is special.

[Brady]

It's so special, they wanted to give it its own day.

[Brett]

No, it has its own day. It's called Thanksgiving. You don't eat stuffing any other time of the year. When do you. In July go come over. We're having stuffing. Next thing you know, tomorrow's National Turkey day. When's the last time you had stuffing? Oh, my God.

[Brady]

A couple years.

[Brett]

Thanks.

[Brady]

Years.

[Brett]

Years. What'd you do last year?

[Brady]

We had that teppanyaki chef the last.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

You went to that Asian traditional Thanksgiving steaks the year before that.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Might be going back to the turkey this year.

[Brett]

Of course you are. It's Thanksgiving. You got to go back to the traditionals. But one of the traditionals is stuffing. And then you put the stuffing in. You do stuffing on Thanksgiving? You're not confident you're going to do it this year?

[Brady]

Not sure because you know I would. It's in five days or six days. Plenty of time.

[Brett]

Got people for that. Aren't you in charge of the food at your house?

[Brady]

I am now.

[Brett]

No, you have been forever now.

[Brady]

Well, no, usually Ronnie would do most of the sides.

[Brett]

That's what I'm saying. You're. You're calling the menu though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And I'm 20 years in and out all the way. I'm doing a turkey or.

[Brett]

What happened?

[Brady]

Prime rib or something.

[Brett]

All right. How about a salad?

[John Holmberg]

So you're the main course guy.

[Brett]

Well, that's salad and beats for you.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Turkey's just Cobb salad.

[Brady]

Salad.

[Brett]

Cobb salad, no dressing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

No bacon. Can you have the eggs? Yes. Eggs are probably good for you. Don't know yet. You're the worst person to ask about what you're allowed to have. I was at the doctor's office when you told me your kidneys were.

[Frank]

They just keep going down, we'll be in good shape.

[Brett]

Doctor's shaking his head. It's the opposite. The opposite of what he just said.

[Frank]

Gotta get that number lower.

[Brett]

Nope, that means he's dead. Just try to talk him into it.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. Al Michaels is the only play by play commentator or host to cover all four major US sports championships.

[Brett]

Wow.

[Brady]

Did Super Bowl 11 times, World Series eight times, NBA Finals twice and the Stanley cup three times a while ago.

[Brett]

Yeah. Oh, he's. Hockey is what I think of him with first. Other than like football is where he is today. Do you believe in miracles? Is Al. Al was the one that made most people my age understand that hockey's awesome.

[Brady]

And did that ice him for the next two Stanley Cups maybe after the marathon ice. Or did he mean for.

[Brett]

I don't know when he did it. I would imagine it would have been the 80s. I would imagine when ABC said we're gonna do this.

[Brady]

Yeah, for sure. I would.

[Brett]

Yeah. Because it was probably a Canadian thing before when America wasn't interested in hockey.

[Brady]

There were 14 dot coms that advertised during Super bowl in 2000 and only four are still active.

[Brett]

Wow.

[Brady]

Auto Trader, Last minute Travel Monster and WebMD.

[Brett]

Did it for ABC three years in a row. 2000, 2000, 1002. How about that? Which I think was the. Was that Jersey Devils and the Aves. The first one was that al Michaels in 2000.

[Brady]

Maybe ABC got the NHL back.

[Brett]

Well, they had It Al Michaels doing that in the 2000. That's awesome. I didn't know it was that late.

[Brady]

Pepperoni is an American food.

[Brett]

You all right with that?

[Brady]

An Italian pepperoni is spelled with one. P is the word for bell peppers.

[Brett]

Me.

[Brady]

Two piece In Italy it's two piece.

[Brett]

It's one p. No, I. I bet you a billion dollars there's two piece in pepperoni.

[Brady]

Nobody in American pepperoni. There is no.

[Brett]

There's three.

[Brady]

I get what he's saying. Gotcha.

[Brett]

Yeah. Play the game.

[Brady]

I didn't want to lose you there. When I said they took.

[Brett]

No, I understood. No, don't. Don't act like I lost it.

[Brady]

But you're right.

[Brett]

Three piece. I'm the only one that was actually doing it right.

[Brady]

Three piece in American food.

[Brett]

Right. Two in the other.

[Brady]

One pepperoni. Two in the other. And there's no salami named pepperoni with three P's used on a pizza topping.

[Brett]

Good. Adapted there. Nice job on the fly. Do it on the fly because that said two in the paper and you jumped it and you understood.

[Brady]

A DNA analysis of apples found they all originated in the mountains of Kazakhstan. Very nice.

[Brett]

Right? The Kazakhs did that. That.

[Brady]

Borat makes an appearance.

[Brett]

Borat showed up for no reason. As Brady's Kazakhstan news shows up.

[Brady]

A new study has found that the key to fresh breath may be a mouthwash made from garlic extract. Researchers viewed five studies comparing garlic extract to other oral rinses. And the garlic performed well in one trial. Reduced the bacteria effectively more than some of the.

[Brett]

It kills the bad breath stink. But then you have garlic breath because remember garlic. Yeah, They've done this forever. The stuff that they take to kill bad breath.

[Brady]

But you feel like. Didn't you say you're burping garlic the whole time?

[Brett]

Well, I mean, you have a garlic, but garlic was a pill.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And then they had that spray that George Kennedy used to do all the time that was garlic based. Wait, you burped with garlic? Well, no. When you have the spray, you have a garlic taste, but it's not garlic. You didn't eat it. So it doesn't live with you. It doesn't project from you, but it does make your like. For me, garlic made my stomach feel weird. But I didn't. I don't know that I was burping up garlic smell, but there's a. Garlic kills. The stuff that causes bad breath.

[Brady]

Has antimicrobial property from the ollison.

[Brett]

I don't know what that is.

[John Holmberg]

Breath of.

[Brady]

Sure. Was it breath?

[Brett]

The sure that's what George Kennedy ran around screaming at you. And George Kennedy looked like a guy who had bad breath. He was from the 70s. He probably smelled like cigarettes a lot. Maybe liquor. There he is. George Kennedy for breath of Shoes. Oh, my God. Here's the Beverly. That's how old that commercial is. A love good food flavored with star.

[Brady]

Started his breath, started the fire. And the towering inferno.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, he was in that. And a naked gun. Drebben's assistant. He had terrible breath. But he looks like a guy with bad breath. Big, lumbering, hulking, breathing man. Somebody had to tell him eventually. You gotta fix this, George. Your suits smell like cigarettes and whiskey. And your breath is just brutal. Smells like you had a double sandwich for lunch.

[Brady]

And now it's time for some science news.

[Brett]

All right. They're first. Yeah.

[Brady]

Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news and mistletoe news.

[Brett]

Study found science news turned into mistletoe news in one word.

[Brady]

News within news.

[Brett]

In the news. In the news.

[Brady]

A study found the act of kissing probably dates back 20 million years or even more. Long before. Long before humans were around.

[Brett]

Keep in mind, this is science, so at least 20.

[Frank]

Yeah, takes back to 20.

[Brett]

Science. And we need a couple more years. Like 20 million wasn't enough for us. Bull crap, Brady. But it's longer could be proven.

[Brady]

It's. It's exactly 20 million.

[Brett]

Well, nobody's saying there. 20 million is a pretty vague throw anyway.

[Brady]

Yeah, the scientists are saying lots of other animals do it.

[Brett]

Birds.

[Brady]

Not just us.

[Brett]

Bees do it.

[Brady]

Kissing.

[Brett]

We got it.

[Brady]

They're still not sure why we evolved to do it.

[Brett]

Well, we know why now. I mean, the girl's got 200 kills. Well, we know it. I wonder why people do it the way we do. Like we lock up. I think any other animals are, like, doing that.

[Brady]

You've said that before.

[Brett]

You didn't think your. Your grandma was throwing tongues? My grandma was.

[Brady]

Well, she. She's a.

[Brett]

That's right. No, that was my great grandma. Your grandma was a whore. That's true.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a Hoosier.

[Brett]

Which grandma's a whore. That's time to play what's her count. Who's grandma's? Oh, my grand. My great grandma's count was massive. She was the Vincennes whore. It's a fact. Yeah, but why do we do. Like, when did we start going, just, let's touch tongues like other animals might touch tongues. Dogs kind of do it, but we. We make it kissing because of what we do. Dogs are just kind of cleaning food out of each other's teeth. Like, I've got a little dog, Gordon, that'll go up. And when the other dogs are asleep, he starts licking their teeth.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And they're like, oh, they're kissing. No, they're not kissing. Plus, they're both boys, so this is gay. But he's just cleaning food off of the other. Kind of gross, when you think about it.

[Brady]

NASA just released the best photos yet of the interstellar object, the Atlas 3 Eye Atlas, zipping through our solar system. It. And they say it's a comet, not aliens. All right, but then the Harvard guys. Somebody got pushing the alien thing.

[Brett]

Still isn't convinced, but he's not pushing the alien thing. Be fair to that guy. Everybody's black and white in this thing. He's the one saying it's not behaving like a normal comet. He says it's more than likely a rock. But he's saying it's acting weird. We haven't seen it do that. And he's excited for that.

[Brady]

He says they didn't really offer anything new and they're still just guessing. It might be another few weeks before there's enough data for sure.

[Brett]

But we got to wait until it comes out from behind the sun in the end of December to find out its speed, its pattern. And it still has that tail or not, which it lost at one point. And that's the only reason the Harvard guy's like, wait a second. Comets don't do that. Comets don't turn corners. Like, what's it doing?

[Brady]

You ever looked at the abstract painting and thought, oh my, a four year old could do that. Every time researchers had a bunch of little kids and adults try to paint like Jackson Pollock and they all sucked at it. The ones done by adults were rated as slightly better than the kids paintings.

[Brett]

But did you put a Jackson Pollock in the mix with it? Yeah, that's the only way to make that. If you put a bunch of cruddy paintings up, most people will go, these suck. But if you throw a Jackson Pollock in there, right. If you throw a Jackson Pollock in with a bunch of adults throwing paint at the wall, it would look just like them.

[Brady]

Yeah. I was wondering if they would say, these are the ones that haven't been. We found a bunch of jacks.

[Brett]

Yeah. You can say that they're Jackson Pollock paintings, but you. The only way to make that actually work is to not tell people that some of them are Jackson Pollock paintings and then have people go through and go what do you think of these? These suck. Anybody could have done this.

[Brady]

Archaeologists in Israel may have found the earliest known artifact showing a human being getting it on with an Animal. It's a 12,000 year old figurine that apparently shows a woman being mounted by a goose.

[Brett]

Oh, I thought, yeah, this is that duck goose thing. That's. It's. But it's just a rock. And then they recreated it to look like a goose is banging a lady and they made her naked. Yeah, I saw this yesterday.

[Brady]

It just.

[Brett]

You would pick this up and you'd see rock.

[Brady]

It's a lady, I think interpret it with penis arms.

[Brett]

Yeah, she's got dick arms. I noticed that too. She's. And then they interpreted it to be a sex art. But you look at what they found and you're like, you guys are perverts. If you see sex in this rock and they put pubic hair on it.

[Brady]

And yeah, look at the rock. They're.

[Brett]

They're projecting. They are death. Somebody was horny that day. They found that rock because it doesn't look anything like what they're making it.

[Brady]

But they have, you know, they're saying this is on top of other artifacts that they found throughout.

[Brett]

Well, show me the ones that have.

[Brady]

All sorts of pictures and.

[Brett]

Sure, but show me the ones. Show me the ones that. Well, this is the earliest one of bestiality. Show me the ones that led you to that. Because that one's just a rock. That's a pervert looking at a rock, seeing what he wants. That's a Rorschach rock. A pterodactyl on an elephant. Yeah, I see a rock.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's carved out by a four year old kid.

[Brett]

Yeah, maybe.

[Brady]

That'S your science news.

[Brett]

Okay, we got a couple of late entries to try and calm you down with your windshield wipers. Oh, boy. Boy. First one says so. John, let me put it to you this way. Be proud, man.

[Brady]

I am.

[Brett]

You ran 98 yards with the football. Yeah, I got stopped at the tune. Your friend from up north took it. Took it exactly right. Amy said, hey, you skipped a step. Like, you know what? I got the ball down here though. We're in good shape. Yes, I was proud of myself, John. Don't worry, I work for aaa, trust me. People sometimes install batteries with the plastic cap still on. The posts come to us and try.

[Langston Kerman]

And figure out what happened.

[Brett]

How did not working get to the point of needing. They drove another car in their garage, Right? You call AAA with a car in your garage?

[Brady]

I don't Know.

[Brett]

I didn't know they did that.

[Brady]

You might be able to.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you got to need a jump.

[Brett]

Or something like that, I suppose you.

[Langston Kerman]

Don'T have a friend.

[Brett]

That's true. There's a lot of depends on who you're calling. Yeah, I won't even jump that guy.

[Brady]

I've got one smuggler news story.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

Hello, my friends. These are people carrying contraband and getting busted. We call it the smugglers news. Thai rangers have arrested two men suspected of being part of an international wildlife smuggling network.

[Brett]

Thai rangers?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

That's cool.

[Brady]

In Thailand.

[Brett]

Yeah, I get it.

[Brady]

Busted a couple of guys carrying 81 macaques near the commit.

[Brett]

Kim, the only reason they did this story. It's the only reason John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. It has no. There's no. There is no. Yeah, because there's no finish here. There's no ending 81 macaques in the.

[Brady]

Back of a pickup truck.

[Brett]

Don't celebrate it.

[Brady]

Tagged and bagged.

[Brett]

No.

[Brady]

They also found methamphetamine and cash and some pills.

[Brett]

When we didn't react to your finish. When we didn't react to your delivery of macaques, you really didn't have have anywhere to go there. Not even a pun. Just dirty. Just being dirty.

[Brady]

In June, Indian customs officer steals. Seized nearly 100 creatures, including lizards, sunbirds, tree climbing, possums, They say. I thought you pulled something by the screen green or something.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Oh, no. It's a dramatic pause.

[Brady]

Well, because I. Rich interrupted with something. I thought he wanted me to see something.

[Brett]

Just go.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I keep telling you.

[John Holmberg]

Four days.

[Brett]

When are you paying. You're not wrong. When are you paying attention to Rich all of a sudden? Just keep going.

[Brady]

Last year, the Thai customs officials arrested six Indians for attempting to smuggle red panda.

[Brett]

Ooh, the lady at the halftime times.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Brett]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

That's why she was missing.

[Brett]

They said she heard her injured. No, she was smuggled. Smuggled by Thai rangers.

[Brady]

On top of the red panda, there were snakes, parrots, and monitor lizards.

[Brett]

Okay, what happens there?

[Brady]

They go to prison for life.

[Brett]

Is that right?

[Brady]

Maybe kill them all, right? Try to get the animals back into the wild. They have to euthanize some of them.

[Brett]

Yeah. Probably have to kill them all. They've been in bags for a week.

[Brady]

Those macaques can handle being in the bag.

[Brett]

All right.

[Brady]

That's your smother's news.

[Brett]

Don't let it die. Jesus.

[Brady]

It's a monkey. Brett.

[Brett]

We know what that is. We know what is. Where's. Where's Skip? Where's. Where's Skip? Skip. Skip. Skip.

[Brady]

Finally, Bath and Body Works is making New York City subway system smell like Christmas. They've. If you pass through Grand Central Station in New York this month, don't be surprised. It smells like pine trees.

[Brett]

That's nice. Rather than the normal smell, which is homeless anus.

[Brady]

Yeah, they put it on one subway platform if you catch a shuttle train to the Times Square. They added a bunch of diffusers and on the steel beams they're covering up.

[Brett]

That's nice. Yeah, the dead bodies, pizza rat, the piss. And it's gonna throw people in New York Big month. The hell is that smell? Smells like I'm walking around in a forest. Where's the piss stink? I want it back. This ain't New York.

[Brady]

Say my New York.

[Brett]

I walk into Ralph Lauren's house. What's with the pine trees?

[Brady]

Trees.

[Brett]

Where's the smell of the homeless anus? Oh, is that a decent band? Oh, that's a great band name.

[Brady]

I got two radio videos. Okay, the first one.

[Brett]

That's all right. His prednisone's kicking in. He's feeling good today.

[Brady]

All right, It's a. A bully on the playground.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

High school age. You can't play the audio on it.

[Brett]

There's some too much cussing. All right, we'll do a little play by play. If these kids are early teens, 13, 14, maybe a little older. This kid's a big one. The other guys are skinny. This kid's a little thicker.

[Brady]

He's got. It looks like he's got his little boom.

[Brett]

He's got like a music speaker or something in his hand. The other kids have a basketball and the big fat kid is walking. He's a big thick kid. Yeah, he's adult thick.

[John Holmberg]

Was this the sand?

[Brett]

He's walking up to another kid. Yeah, it looks like the catcher from Sandlight. Oh, and the skinny one just turns the bullies lights out. That's right. That's right, son. First off, you never mess with dudes playing basketball in jeans and work boots. That is all those guys. One's in socks. Yeah, one is just in socks.

[Langston Kerman]

What?

[Brett]

This is a poor white community. You don't trust these hillbillies. That kid's got a right hand on him. Yeah, jeans and work boots on a basketball court is the whitest. Like that is. This is a pride party. Not like the gay one either. Like proud boys.

[John Holmberg]

This is a pacing party.

[Brett]

This is a pacing party. Yeah. That kid Throws a nice right punch. He's been hit by his dad so many times. Gleaned some of that off the old man. Go put your work boots and your jeans on and get out there and shoot hoops.

[Brady]

The last one I have is a retro ad about the downsides of using marijuana.

[Brett]

I think Reefer madness.

[Brady]

No, it's in the 80s.

[Brett]

Oh.

[Brady]

Or maybe early 90s.

[Brett]

The commercial about weed, the drug war. When Nancy Reagan was fighting that drug war for us.

[Brady]

You know, you see the. The meth ones where the mouth is hammered up.

[Brett]

Yeah. The teeth are bad and everybody weighs eight pounds.

[Brady]

This is extreme.

[Brett]

This is what would happen to you if you started smoking pot back in the Reagan.

[Brady]

Things could happen.

[Brett]

Where is it, Rich? It's not coming up. Oh, no. Try one more time. I still got the proud boys on the basketball court in their Timberlands. Come on. I'd like to see that basketball game finished. That is a slow blue jeans basketball game. Finally. Oh, I think he's got it right. Here's the guy. He's at a party. Oh, they show the weedy guys way out of his mind. Oh, he's falling into a wood chipper. Oh, no, limbo. Oh, man. All that was. He smoked some weed and then he at work and he's daydreaming of doing the limbo. And then he tries chipping wood. Well, he's doing. He's daydreaming about doing the limbo, and then he leans back into the wood chipper. And then more blood than a whale has come shooting out of the other side on the other employees. Oh, that's great. His laugh. Those people stand at the other side of the wood chipper. And if it wasn't for blood, that would have been wood chips hitting them. They're in a question.

[Brady]

Yeah. Where would the chips go? Yeah, they were they doing on the side?

[Brett]

Well, they were going to be hurt just as badly as him if they were. They're all hot. And first. Then what's a woman doing working a wood chipper in the 80s? That is the most unbelievable commercial I've ever seen.

[Brady]

I think that was an affair.

[Brett]

All right. There's no reason for that lady to be there, let alone she was an African American woman. They weren't hiring those in the 80s to do anything. It was a terrible time to be alive, standing there at the other end of the wood chipper. Somebody placed her there to take the bloodshot off the wedi. Well, that commercial's wrong in every direction. Here's the most inaccurate portrayal of the 80s of all time. We were hiring women to do men's jobs. Right there. It's completely false. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[John Holmberg]

All right, it's Friday, so brace yourselves.

[Brady]

The other thing is the limbo rod.

[Brett]

Looked like it had shard glass made of weed. Weed. It was a weed wrapped limbo stick that he was trying. He was daydreaming about going under, which caused him to lean back into the wood chipper and coat that black lady in blood. It turned into Carrie at the end. Oh, geez.

[John Holmberg]

That wasn't from me.

[Brett]

All right, here we go.

[John Holmberg]

All right, this one's called Fidget Spinning. I didn't write the. The title to it.

[Brett]

We all remember the Fidget Spinner. Oh, geez. We're in. Wow. Is that a woman? Oh, my goodness. They're in a boxing ring. And there's a man. Brady.

[Brady]

A. That's a dwarf.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're.

[Brett]

They're dwarves.

[John Holmberg]

Little people.

[Brett]

And one is both of them, right? Yeah, no, they both are both, I'm pretty sure.

[Brady]

No, the one looks.

[Brett]

She's not. She's real. That is the biggest wiener I've ever seen on a midget. That thing is huge. And she is doing a gator roll with the midget wiener in her mouth. She put it in her mouth, and then they start doing this gator roll in 360 spin around. What kind of boxing match was this? Why is that in a boxing ring? And did they have a. A fight after that or who stayed for both?

[Brady]

That's a big move in Louisiana and Florida. It is.

[Brett]

You gotta learn. Keep the gate. All right, every one of us is now thinking, though, could we talk her into it when I go home today? Can I talk? Hey, if I clear this room out a little bit, you want to give this a try? Do a little gator roll. All right, let's guess what's going to happen. All right, there's a woman, looks Jamaican. Maybe she's having her breasts felt by a man with one glove on. Now he's shaking her tummy. Me. And going into her Jamaican style skirt that looks just like a tablecloth wrapped around her waist. What are we going to see as Brett pauses it right as the doctor's gloved hand. And I'm saying doctor liberally. Yeah, very into her skirt and pulled her skirt way out her skirts. I think she's at Target loss prevention. Okay, Target loss prevention. Brady, I think there's going to be stolen merchandise in the skirt.

[Brady]

Proof that they removed her vagina.

[Brett]

What?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Pull a crank out.

[Brett]

Wow. That's right. Wow. She has no vagina. We're about to see that. I'm going to say there's a baby in there. All right, here we go. He's reaching in. He's reaching deeper and deeper. He's very deep now. He's got his hands way up in there and his glove. He's shaking her belly. Shaking her belly real hard. She's standing up. Up. This is not a woman laying down. Standing up. He's pulling something out of there. What is this?

[Brady]

I was.

[Brett]

I think I might be right. Oh, this has to be fake. She had some sort of squirrel in her vagina. Squirrel. Rat.

[Brady]

I don't know. Could have been a meat.

[Brett]

Is he done? What is that thing? It's some sort of Jamaican possum inside of her vagina. AI's gotten weird.

[John Holmberg]

And you can hit that up on Brother Innocent. What's up? App number and the phone numbers there, too.

[Brady]

Church in Uganda.

[Brett]

It's a Ugandan church. And she had some Ugandan tree animal get stuck inside her vagina. And then the. The local shaman had to pull it out on camera.

[John Holmberg]

Camera.

[Brett]

That was in there. It looked dry.

[Langston Kerman]

Said it did look dry.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady]

Devil squirrel.

[Brett]

By the way, did I tell the story yesterday of Jessica, the new sales girl downstairs? And she had something she was eating and walked by, and I didn't recognize it as food. And she's a Mexican girl. So she says, oh, it's a Mexican thing. And like, well, what is it? She goes, it's a Mexican donut. And I'm like, what's the difference? And what are donuts when they're not Mexican? Aren't they universal? Or they white donuts that I eat? And she goes, no, it's a chancha. And like, I think that's a dirty word. I think that's it. She goes, no, I said, you're eating a chancha. And she started laughing. And she goes, yeah. But she said, the only time this is bad. You don't want a dry chancha. And I'm like, I have to walk away from you.

[John Holmberg]

Was Susie listening?

[Brett]

I'm like, all this dirty talk down here and I've got the reputation of the bad guy in the building.

[John Holmberg]

Well, some tooth.

[Brett]

She's got a mouthful of chanch downstairs. I don't even know what that.

[Brady]

Does it look like?

[Brett]

Is that. Oh, what is this? Is this one of the videos? Oh, is that a. Some sort of weird caterpillar? Oh, God. It's An Asian lady eating this? Never works out for me. Oh, this Asian lady is eating this. I can't watch these people eat. Oh, God. And she's got it all the way in her mouth and it's squishy.

[Brady]

Oh, that's after the guy asked her body count.

[Brett]

Is that Michelle? Yeah. A guy watching her. It's not just me. Asian women eating is gross.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty much it.

[Brett]

What was that like the Japanese version of Aladdin? What were they dressed like that for?

[John Holmberg]

Let's go to this.

[Brett]

Wow. 2 liter bottle of Coke in her ass. And it's bottom side in first.

[Brady]

Have a Coke in a pile.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's. She's gonna have those piles. The. The drink inside of the bottle is out of her ass.

[Brady]

Is that what happens next?

[Langston Kerman]

Brett is.

[Brett]

No, there's.

[John Holmberg]

There's no real big Finish. We get two minutes, but the business.

[Brett]

End of that 2 liter bottle is in there. It's not the.

[Brady]

The.

[Brett]

It's not the little end. All right, now the guy's using it for pleasure.

[Brady]

Throw a couple of Mentos.

[Brett]

Yeah, no kidding. Like, oh, man, that's beat up.

[Brady]

Whoa. God.

[Brett]

That's her ass. Has a 2 liter bottle of Coke in it. Wow. How did that even happen?

[Brady]

Wonder if that's cane sugar.

[Brett]

Has it. Mexican Coke. Okay. And then he just starts fiddling around with the honey hole. What came out of that there?

[Brady]

Oh, God.

[Brett]

He did a little gynecological exam there in the middle of this Coke can or bottle situation. And it kind of.

[Brady]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

There's no real big.

[Brett]

I think she inked. I'm not sure. I think that's a woman inking. She may have sinus infection. She may have squid inked that guy with the Coke in her ass. All right.

[Brady]

About some needles.

[Brett]

No, I don't like this. Oh, my God. This guy's got 100 needles in his penis. He's got like 100 needles in his penis. There's blood pouring onto the. At least they put. Look at. They're pulling the ring. And now they're pulling the ring that's attached to the urethra as far as hard as they can. This isn't the first time we've seen.

[John Holmberg]

Most needles. We've seen.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's the record through and through. That's got to be 60 needles. What am I looking at? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 layers of eight or nine. So, yeah, you're looking at about 60.

[Brady]

70.

[Brett]

Yeah. 70 needles or so. Thanks for that, Brett.

[Brady]

Phew. How about this? Oh, we're not done.

[Brett]

Here's a splayed penis. This one's been butterflied. It's butterflied. And from the bottom, it looks like a hot dog. You wanted to cook thoroughly. And now he's pleasuring himself with the.

[Brady]

Oh, no.

[Brett]

Split in half penis. Oh, it's going to come out of the bottom. Yeah, it's going to come out of that weird bottom hole. He's cut his own new urethra down at the bottom, and the top is just meat. Okay. And now he's aiming it at the camera. Come on.

[Brady]

Oh, maybe.

[Brett]

Oh, that's how it ends. Okay. Thank God we didn't see it finished. What is going on? Here's a guy in a bike helmet sitting on a toilet in a poor person's bathroom with those weird glass doors that aren't glass or doors. It's the Harlem Shake Poop. It's called. Oh, my God. Now he's standing on the toilet.

[Brady]

Oh.

[Brett]

And he shoots diarrhea onto a new. The new person has entered the bathroom and their legs are spread open. It's another fella.

[Brady]

And he.

[Brett]

And he's. They all. He's.

[Brady]

He.

[Brett]

He pooped on his friend's butt. Why is there a letter box over his. Yeah, from a distance. And then we'll finish he projectile diarrhea onto another friend's butt from about three feet away.

[John Holmberg]

And here's the new iPhone commercial.

[Brett]

All right. Oh, there's an iPhone in a butt. Whoa.

[Brady]

That thing's talking.

[Brett]

And then we're calling Marlon Wayans.

[Brady]

Yo.

[Brett]

Hello, shorty. It's in her all the way. She put an iPhone 16 all the way in, and she spent.

[Brady]

That's trouble.

[Brett]

At least 15 grand on those breasts. Those are beautiful. There you go.

[Brady]

It is Christmas time.

[Brett]

Did you see the top thing turned into a mistletoe. Her butt. Rose buds. Look at the other hole.

[Brady]

Okay, watch.

[Brett]

Oh, you see? It goes. It absorbs back in the alien. Oh, gross. Oh, God. There it is. Something's living in there.

[Brady]

Tap that gap.

[Brett]

What's the big lump? Look at the big lump on her. I guess that would be her left labia. Yeah, I don't know that. That looks infected. I think I'd try to pop that. Oh, my goodness. I've seen too much.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we'll end there.

[Frank]

Too much.

[Brett]

Oh, yikes. There you go, everybody. Some of these videos. None of those are probably going to make the cut. Those won't. But the top 10 videos will be shown at the Homebring After Dark. Got our guest here. We could show him that. All right, we'll do that.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Who's our guest? Langston Kerman.

[Langston Kerman]

He's a desert ridge improv man.

[Brett]

Has a beautiful name. Langston Kerman's going to be here in just a little bit. We'll talk to him next. It's 98. It's out of control now. 88. Can you PT morning sickness. Holberg's morning sickness. You've got a name that, like, I know maybe you feel like you've been working.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Brett]

But you haven't been working half as hard as most people. Yeah. Cause you walk in the door, Langston Kerman, and people are like, he mean. He means business.

[Langston Kerman]

Easy name to remember.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Everybody knows how to spell it. It's perfect.

[Brett]

It looks like it should be on a marquee starring Langston Kerman. Yeah, like that's a thing. What were you gonna do? Do besides become famous and successful?

[Langston Kerman]

My original plan was to. To write poetry.

[Brett]

That's dumb. Yeah, but it would have been a good poetry.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I guess there's another dude who's pretty successful at it, and there's a Langston.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

It was a bad idea all around.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I got an MFA in poetry. I really wasted a lot of time and money and.

[Brett]

And you're never gonna make your money back.

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

The money you spend on a poetry class is lost forever.

[Langston Kerman]

I keep calling the university and asking, can I have my money back?

[Brett]

Did you go to college for poetry?

[Langston Kerman]

I went to grad school.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. That is such a waste of time.

[Langston Kerman]

They. They refuse to refund me for the work that I've.

[Brett]

Because it's a scam. That's almost like when some old lady gives her money to some guy she's never met. Exactly. There should be an arrest made.

[Langston Kerman]

This is as close to somebody calling my phone and saying, I have an opportunity for you and you and me being like, no, I'll stay on the line.

[Brett]

I'm gonna give you some of that money. And what do I have to do? Rhyme some stuff, or do you still. Probably still do poetry for free on the side?

[Langston Kerman]

I do not write poetry at all anymore, but I do still have an appreciation for it. I still read it.

[Brett]

I'm just not what got you into that.

[Langston Kerman]

I started as a kid doing, like, spoken word. I was doing, like, performance poetry after I got cut from the basketball team.

[Brett]

So you didn't play basketball anymore. And immediately a natural transition into poetry was right there.

[Langston Kerman]

Look, man, I still had figure out a way to get girls.

[Brett]

And one.

[Langston Kerman]

Of my skills wasn't working. So I tried another one and it worked. And poetry tended to work.

[Brett]

Don't you get crazy girls from poetry though?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not going to burn down the bridges that I. That I've built.

[Brett]

But some tend to be a little bit more emotional.

[Langston Kerman]

You're not going to ruin the community that, that I saw.

[Brett]

Poetry community. Yeah, but it's filled with crazy women. I'm. I can tell by your face that they're way too emotional.

[Brady]

I think they're.

[Langston Kerman]

I think they're spirited.

[Brett]

We call. We call those things different. Spirited. I say lunatic, but that's all right.

[Brady]

But there's a lot of coffee involved.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, there's a lot of. Yeah, a lot of. Then dealing with dudes with man buns.

[Langston Kerman]

Coffee. Sure.

[Brett]

Yeah. A lot of that going on. Well, you got under the right bit, so you immediately left to become a stand up comic.

[Langston Kerman]

Which has only worked in my favor. The wealth, the fame, the success.

[Brett]

Waking up at seven in the morning to a radio show.

[Langston Kerman]

It's my dream.

[Brett]

It is exactly what you've been dreaming.

[Langston Kerman]

It's always been my dream to be here.

[Brett]

Yeah, and you are here now. And the dream is, you know this. Well, look, we've been here for 25 years and seen people rise to greatness. Yeah. Like we talked to Joe Coy yesterday.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[Brett]

And we used to be friends with Joe Coy. And then he got too successful to be our friend. So now he just calls when he needs to sell tickets.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, no. He didn't even come in.

[Brett]

Oh, he ain't coming in. And I told him I don't want him in. Once you hit a certain level of success. Look, I only wake up this early.

[Langston Kerman]

Because they pay me, okay?

[Brett]

I'm not coming in here without money. You guys are doing this to try to make money later.

[Langston Kerman]

Sure.

[Brett]

Joda needs to that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So I don't want you to hump it in here and pretend to like me.

[Brady]

That is.

[Langston Kerman]

That is a position of respect.

[Brett]

Yes, I respect success and say you have graduated from waking up and humping the morning.

[Langston Kerman]

Now I do remember you did demand that I be here in person.

[Brett]

Yes. Yeah. You have done nothing. You have got to come in in the morning. Damn it. I'm not taking them on.

[Langston Kerman]

You said radio was an hour. You said the phone call was an option. But no, no, no.

[Brett]

You are not going to be on the phone.

[Brady]

And it counts too, on the way down. Down as well.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, that's the thing. If we're still here when Joe inevitably starts his downslide, he Will be back again, buddy.

[Brady]

Come back in.

[Brett]

Yeah. And then we'll wink at him and go, I know what you're.

[Langston Kerman]

Fortunately, we know what your situation is.

[Brett]

But being Langston Kerman. Yeah. We talked off the air again too. I don't think in the history of man. And I would be. You should start up a YouTube show to find an unsuccessful Langston. Yeah, there aren't any. I think no homeless Langston's exist.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it's going to be a real bummer the second we do well.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, that's the end of the show. Like we found him. Yeah. Where's Langston? Langston. The homeless.

[John Holmberg]

Finding. Finding Langston.

[Brett]

And you just wander around the homeless communities. Go Langston. And if no one answers you like a successful day. I think it's a great next week. Now tell people what your kids names are.

[Langston Kerman]

My. My. My daughter's name is Kensington.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

And then my son's name is Atlas.

[Brett]

Yeah, you got like the greatest name book ever. Yeah, because other people have Brett, John, David.

[Langston Kerman]

That's okay, Brad. Hey, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna make fun of your.

[Brett]

Well, you don't have to make fun of. You don't even think of us.

[John Holmberg]

We're the Toyota Corolla.

[Brett]

Names. You guys sure. You guys are the May box. It's awesome.

[Langston Kerman]

You got a trustworthy vehicle that will.

[Brett]

Get you from A to B.

[Langston Kerman]

You can get. You can get your oil change wherever.

[Brett]

That's true.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? If you got a Maybach, you can't take that to Jiffy Lube. You gotta.

[Brett]

But wouldn't it be fun to see the faces on the guys at Jiffy Lube when you pull in and go, 10 minutes, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't even know how to do this. I don't even know what's under there.

[Brett]

So are you married, guy?

[Langston Kerman]

I am married.

[John Holmberg]

Married.

[Brett]

You got two kids?

[Langston Kerman]

I have two children.

[Brett]

All this success and. And you've been a. Were you a comedian when you met your wife?

[Langston Kerman]

I was. By the time I met my wife, I was sort of. I. I had just, I think started to. To hit some version.

[Brett]

Start to get some success. Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

I was still teaching. I. I used to teach high school.

[Brett]

No kidding.

[Langston Kerman]

I started teaching poetry and then I.

[Brady]

Used to meet her at a poetry slam.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I did not. That'd be deeply embarrassing. I. I met her through like a mutual friend who kind of hooked us up.

[Brett]

What did you teach? You taught poetry and what?

[Langston Kerman]

I taught poetry for a year back at my old high school.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And Then I taught high school English for another, like, three years.

[Brett]

Okay. Were you a funny teacher?

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't want to be.

[Brett]

You didn't try to be? No, no, no.

[Langston Kerman]

I wanted to be. I was like, 23, so I couldn't afford to be fun with them. I needed to be like a man.

[Brett]

Yeah, you had to show you the flex up a little or they take advantage.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I had to show them I.

[Brett]

Had a chest and company. Walk in and punch the weakest kid and let him know who's.

[Langston Kerman]

If you think I didn't hit some kids, you're.

[Brett]

When you quit teaching.

[Langston Kerman]

Because I hit some kids.

[Brett]

You weren't allowed to do it anymore. Do you ever want to hit one deeply? Every day. Is there one that stands out? You can name by name and be like, I hope this kid doesn't make it.

[Brady]

No, I'm not going to.

[John Holmberg]

Just the first.

[Brett]

The first name. I bet you it's Brad or John. Just a quick shout out. Just initials and maybe he'll hear it someday. Go, I wonder if he's talking about me.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You got anybody? The one kid. Because you're thinking of him right now.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

There's a CT out there that at one point, Carlos, Carl, I'm not going to stop. I was rooting against pretty hard at one point.

[Brett]

But did you think. Did you ever run into the ones that you hated and they kind of okay, you don't.

[Langston Kerman]

I think life handles all the feelings that you have. Isn't that great in its own way?

[Brett]

And so deep down, if you found out that kid was just on drugs and laying in the road, you'd be like, good.

[Langston Kerman]

This is a salacious interview.

[Brett]

I just. I want to get to the bottom of things like that. I'm not a guy who's messing around.

[Brady]

It is interesting that you go back and you see all of a sudden what that kid's doing.

[Brett]

Yeah, it.

[Langston Kerman]

It. There are a few kids where. Where you go like, damn, this is. This is what I thought you would be. And then there's somewhere you're like, whoa, you proved me wrong.

[Brett]

That's awesome. I think I proved some people wrong, but there were some kids in school that I went to school with that died terrible deaths. And I was like, good.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Because they were horrible people. I know the teacher was happy. One kid got crushed by a rock. Whoa. Yeah, because he was always.

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't even know that was an option.

[Brett]

Me neither. And then when we found out, you're like, did you hear Kelly got crushed by her Iraq? He would always like, he was like before parkour existed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

This guy did stuff all the time. They could leap on you from the top of a house. You didn't see him up there. And he was. He never got me. He was always a jerk. And he always had this big dude with him that backed him up.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Brett]

And we were always. We could never get him.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Because this giant guy with him, Robert, would protect him. So he'd act. He'd jackass around, hit you with rocks. He shot BB's at us while we played basketball. Once hit me in the throat. We didn't even know where he was. It was a snipe. And then we went to go kick his ass, and Robert stopped all of us.

[Langston Kerman]

Wow.

[Brett]

And then we get word later that he was climbing a mountain and he pulled on a rock and it didn't hold in it, and it just fell.

[Langston Kerman]

On top of it.

[Brett]

And, like, me and my friend Secret were like, that's awesome.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[John Holmberg]

My bodyguard or something.

[Brett]

Our dreams came true. Poor Robert.

[Langston Kerman]

He's devastated.

[Brett]

Yeah, Robert. Robert probably was the one who pushed the rock. It was like a Stein. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Eventually he's like, I have no purpose now.

[Brett]

Yeah. Robert just left the mountain, like, now what do I do? But, yeah, he got crushed by Rob. Now he lives in the woods now. That's what you would to happen to ct. No, I don't want any.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't want any rocks crushing them.

[Brett]

I do. I have several people I have rock crushing dreams about. And it started when I started thinking about, like, maybe I made that happen.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I often thought about him getting crushed.

[Langston Kerman]

Isn't it funny that all the kids who died of tragic deaths in high school were kids who. Who you kind of like. All right, that.

[Brady]

That surprise you?

[Brett]

There weren't. There weren't many that were like, oh, my God, we lost a ghost. I can't believe that would happen. It's usually like, it's always a stupid death.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Like, they're never like, oh, my God. He was, like, working on some science project to cure something. Yeah. They're usually standing in the road like, I'm gonna jump a car. Yeah.

[Brady]

That he was surfing on top of a van.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah. They're never gonna be like, I was on to something and then he got snuffed out. Yeah. Usually it's something he was in the middle of.

[Langston Kerman]

He was discovering new math and then a beaker blew up.

[Brett]

No. None of the Asian kids ever have that. That's what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Langston Kerman]

Of course. That's where I was.

[Brett]

Of course. Langston Kerman is at Desert Ridge Improv tonight and tomorrow, if you want to get out there. Desert RidgeImprov.com. what should we know about you that we don't? You're new to us.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, I'm. I'm 5 11.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm strong as an ox. You should see me lift stuff up.

[Brett]

Qualify that. What's the heaviest thing you've ever lifted?

[Langston Kerman]

Hard to know.

[Thriller]

Yeah.

[Brett]

It's so much heavy stuff. The list goes on and on. Yeah. Are you a manly man?

[Langston Kerman]

I wouldn't say so. That's the vibe that I've. I've given up thus far.

[Brett]

No, I'm just wondering if you're. Like, if, like, if my car broke, would I be like, I'll call Langston. He'll fix that.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I don't think men in.

[Brady]

I could throw.

[Brett]

I was gonna say the lime green half, lime green sheep, the other half some sort of material. It's a cool coat.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

But it does not scream, let's go do some construction.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I'm not. I don't think I'm doing anything physical.

[Brett]

You're not good at. Right. You're a handy.

[Langston Kerman]

No, my wife does most of the handy stuff around the house. I'm.

[Brady]

I'll.

[Langston Kerman]

I will lift the thing and hold it, and then she can do all the she whittles.

[Brett]

She.

[Langston Kerman]

She will whittle. She will do it.

[Brett]

So she's the one who uses the hammer, and you' one who holds the picture.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And in that way, we are progressive.

[Brady]

That's right.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? Be the change you want to see.

[Brett]

Has she ever hit you?

[Langston Kerman]

That's my business. When I'm ready to talk about that.

[Brady]

That's right.

[Brett]

You know, when I. I over. I over. I said, I apologize. We talk about.

[Langston Kerman]

Maybe I deserve.

[Brett]

Maybe. Maybe you shouldn't have said that.

[Langston Kerman]

Maybe I shouldn't be mouthing off. Yeah.

[Brady]

Know I fell down.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever been hit by a woman?

[Langston Kerman]

Have I ever been hit by a woman?

[Thriller]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I've been hit by.

[Brett]

I think all guys have. Yeah. And it's that moment you kind of realize I did that.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think you're living a full life if you're not bringing rage out of other people.

[Brett]

And.

[Langston Kerman]

And I think. I think women are.

[Brett]

That's the greatest thing that maybe has ever been said on this show.

[Langston Kerman]

Women are people.

[Brett]

That's right. Oh, my God. That's going way out on a limb. But you're right. If you can bring rage to someone, you've elicited emotion, you've.

[Langston Kerman]

You've existed.

[Brett]

You've been a part of the.

[Langston Kerman]

The larger culture.

[Brett]

Because if you're just mamby pamby causing, you know, you know, mild joy. Yeah. Big deal. But if you can get people fired up one way or the other, you gotta.

[Langston Kerman]

You gotta put them on the polls, baby.

[Brett]

I think the thing about men, though, and when a woman hits us, we realize that it's probably. We did that.

[John Holmberg]

I earned it.

[Brett]

Yeah. I earned that. I don't. You don't just hitch for no reason or. No, you didn't talk to me. I'm like, I didn't do anything. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

The other way around tends to have always less justification.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Certainly when. When women are hitting.

[Brett]

Yeah. And you don't want a woman to start swinging on you, but most of the time when they do, it's your fault. Like, we. We're. We're.

[Brady]

The worst thing you can do is laugh. Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. Well, don't do that. That's. That's why you're getting hit. You don't take them seriously.

[Langston Kerman]

That's how you get a second hit.

[Brett]

That's right. And a third and a kick. We're self aware enough to know.

[Brady]

Man.

[Langston Kerman]

Probably should have apologies, my dear.

[Brett]

I did that.

[Langston Kerman]

Would you like Thai food this evening?

[Brady]

I've learned a little bit. I do a soccer flop.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's pretty. You gotta. Okay. Make them know accounts. Oh, you got me. You got me.

[Langston Kerman]

You scream out, you cry.

[Brett]

Yeah, I like that. Langston went right to doordash though. Like he was getting her some Thai food a minute. She made contact. Know what you like. That's a smart man right there. Yeah. And so not handy. What are you good at other than stable? If you're not handy and you're not, you know, what do I call Langston for? What do I say?

[Langston Kerman]

I. I clean the house. I'm good at cleaning.

[Brett]

Are you sure that this is right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You're the cleaner in the house.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't do physical labor and I do a lot of cleaning.

[Brett]

Has that been your whole life? Probably. No kidding.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I'll clean. I'm happy to do dishes. I'm happy to like, happy to do this. I mean, nobody's. I'm not happy with anything. I'm not sure I'm going to make it, but certainly.

[Brett]

But you get home and you start choking chores. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't mind doing.

[Brady]

No kidding.

[Brett]

Yeah. That is rares around the house that. See, Langston is a rare name. For a rare individual.

[Langston Kerman]

But I won't, I, I won't cook. So that is that right? I, I refuse.

[Brett]

If she has to cook, she had.

[Langston Kerman]

That's the only way I, I, I'll, I'll make this exchange works.

[Brett]

Really?

[Langston Kerman]

So my offer is I will clean things.

[Brett]

You just gotta feed me.

[Langston Kerman]

Feed me. Is that right? Yeah.

[Brett]

So it's a full on give and take, you know, partnership. That's good. What is your wife do?

[Langston Kerman]

She's a lawyer.

[Brady]

Oh.

[Brett]

You've got to do everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Until you pop.

[Langston Kerman]

And you know what's crazy? Everybody speaks to me that way. Everybody immediately realizes my job is stupid and her job is important.

[Brett]

Look, we're living the same life. Sucks.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't like that at all. I'll undermine her work wherever I go.

[Brett]

And everybody all Langston, so bitter. Yeah. You can't win this fight. She's a lawyer. What kind of lawyer?

[Langston Kerman]

She does nonprofit law.

[Brett]

Oh, that's not 20 bucks an hour.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, actually, she works for a pretty prestigious firm. The unfortunate thing is that it's, it's mostly just hiding money for rich people.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Okay. That is better. Okay. I like. Oh, so she takes care of like, charities and stuff.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

She's no hero of mine.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I don't like the phrase non profit. I like it for other people. I don't like it in my life. Yeah. Non profit means we're working hard for nothing.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's. Or we're working big money to protect.

[Brett]

Yeah. We're scamming other people's money.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes.

[Brett]

I want to do that for my own money.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[Brett]

Yeah. But it is tough because you've got a job where people are like, ah. People don't realize how hard it is.

[Langston Kerman]

Hugely dismissive of the work that we do. And that's maybe because we don't wake up at normal hours.

[Brett]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

And contribute much to society. But, but on a large scale, that hour that I work every night, who I get tired.

[Brett]

It's mental work. Here's the thing. I think that the reason I've recently discovered this is that people dismiss job jobs like ours because if there was an apocalypse, we would be useless.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes.

[Brett]

Absolutely useless. So deep down, that's kind of an innate thing in, in humanity for survival's sake that is inherent in all of us that we know. All right. Surround yourself with people that are useful just in case we're not.

[Langston Kerman]

And unfortunately, I think they're absolutely right. I just wish that they weren't so vocal about it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I wish we were moving with Respect where they go. I like what you do.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't want to tell you to your face that what you do stinks.

[Brett]

Yeah. They tell you all the time.

[Langston Kerman]

They tell you to.

[Brett]

You're. You're a clown.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. They're like, oh, I don't think you're a real.

[Brett]

The fun thing you have.

[Brady]

But some of the humor reverses around that.

[Brett]

Oh, sure.

[Brady]

Being made fun of what the other people aren't doing to be able to do.

[Brett]

Oh, you can crush them back because you're verbally skilled. But the good thing is, is, and I say this only because I like you right away, is that soon your wife will be out of work because of AI and you will continue to be.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's go.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah. Who's silly now? Your lipstick ex guys can destroy lawyers. They're the first ones out, which is scary because why go to a human brain when you've got all of law in your hand?

[Langston Kerman]

I think what's going to end up happening is that the challenge is that everybody's going to have AI and it is going to be a little bit of competitive of, like, is your AI competitive with this other AI, and so you are going to need, like.

[Brady]

Yeah, because this one's right. 76.2 times.

[Brett]

Well, it's going to be just like lawyers. You pay more, you get a better AI.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You're going to need a human brain to sort of like manage the machine.

[Brady]

Machine.

[Brett]

Kind of. Yeah. And probably a cynical one. And we lean towards comedians for that. So you will be sort of like a lawyer in the future, telling people what stinks and what doesn't about their AI brother.

[Langston Kerman]

If you're saying, I'm going to be.

[Brett]

An emperor, Langston, I mean, that flows. Emperor John. Not a thing. Langston, the emperor. They write books about that. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

There's no history of emperors named John.

[Brett]

No, no. John. Usually it's like John the Gimp or something. I think.

[Langston Kerman]

I think the Royal Family has a few jobs.

[Brett]

They've got a few. And not a lot of proud, proud ones. Not a lot of Royal John.

[Brady]

A couple of Popes.

[Brett]

Yeah, but that's. That's a fake name they take. The Bible has it. That's the only one that people like.

[Langston Kerman]

All right, right.

[Brett]

But he was just a writer.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I guess they didn't start off as John. Started off.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. With a cool name.

[Langston Kerman]

Something Argentinian.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. Like Langston, maybe. And then they turned it into John. If I was. If you were a Pope ever. And, like, what name do you choose I'm like, I'm keeping this one. Yeah. Hope Langston is awesome.

[Langston Kerman]

That is awesome. I don't think they'll let me do it.

[Brett]

I'm.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not Catholic.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Never have been.

[Brett]

Well, they've never tried that. Maybe it would mix it little bit.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Let a dude who's never done it before.

[Brett]

Right.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, what is this smoke for? I don't even know.

[Brett]

Oh, I get it. Blowing smoke. I see what. I get what we're doing.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

Are you a religious, religious man?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not a religious man. I'm not anti. I. You know, I'm not here to yuck anybody's young, but I. Yeah. Great sentence.

[Brett]

Very religious in itself. And you're from Chicago, right? I'm from.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm from Oak Park, Illinois.

[Brett]

Cubs are socks. Socks.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, am I supposed to say that?

[Brett]

You're in the middle.

[Brady]

This is a big test.

[Langston Kerman]

I'll be honest. I grew up liking the socks more, and I remain that way.

[Brett]

Nice.

[Langston Kerman]

As an adult, but I don't care about basic challenge.

[Brett]

Yeah. Because you're a Sox fan.

[Thriller]

Yeah.

[Brett]

There's a reason why you stop caring about this thing. Just making sure won't feed you back.

[Langston Kerman]

Are you a Cubs guy?

[Brett]

No, I was.

[John Holmberg]

He was Cubs.

[Brett]

I gave up on the Cubs.

[Langston Kerman]

How. How are you? In Arizona? And so passionate.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. They have trains and planes and stuff. It's really. Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

First I'm hearing of it.

[Brady]

That's exciting.

[Brett]

Allowed to leave. Yeah. We could go anywhere we wanted. My dad's company transferred him around, so we ended up here, but I started in northwest Indiana, actually.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Brett]

Grew up a huge Cubs fan, but.

[John Holmberg]

Same with football and everything else.

[Brett]

We're not necessarily. No.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's a Cardinals fan in here either.

[Brett]

I'm a Steelers fan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Bears fan.

[Brett]

Obviously. Dress like I'm 13. Whoa. Yeah. So that's how that works.

[Langston Kerman]

You guys pick bad teams.

[Brett]

What are you talking about? The Steelers are a bad team. The Bears are a bad team.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he's a Bengals fan.

[Brett]

Yeah. Well, that's terrible. Not wrong about that.

[Brady]

And more.

[Brett]

Who's your team?

[Brady]

Buckeyes, too.

[Langston Kerman]

I. Oh, okay. Well, I went to Michigan, so I don't know.

[Brett]

Where.

[Brady]

Is that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Is that in the states?

[Brady]

Up north.

[Brett]

Are you a football guy? I don't care about. You don't care.

[Langston Kerman]

I like basketball.

[Brett]

Which. Who's your team there?

[Langston Kerman]

My favorite team. And will be for probably forever and always. It's Golden State, which wasn't popular for a long time.

[Brett]

Were you there before? Before Steph I.

[Langston Kerman]

No, not before.

[Brett]

So Steph showed up, and you're like, this is the one.

[Langston Kerman]

But before championship, Steph, when it was like, still 2014. Clay and Steph still figuring it out.

[Brett]

Can I make an assessment?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Prior to that, were you a. Let's say, a Heat fan?

[Langston Kerman]

I was never a Heat.

[Brett]

What about the Spurs?

[Langston Kerman]

My favorite team before that was. Was that Sacramento team with Chris Weber.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Brett]

I was gonna. I was gonna accuse you of being a front runner.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No, no, no. I. Underdog with a chance.

[Brett]

Okay. Because Sacramento is the most robbed team in the history of basketball.

[Brady]

I would say so.

[Brett]

Yeah. Because of that. A mess that happened in the.

[Langston Kerman]

I've never had a bigger heartbreak.

[Brett]

Oh, it was hard. It was horrible for people who didn't like Sacramento, that they had the whole world stolen from them.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. All right. I'll give you that one. Even though that's a little front runner, because the Chris Weber Kings.

[Langston Kerman]

Look, I'm no hero.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't come here to be brave.

[Brett]

When. When the guys that you like, like, when Draymond and Steph Clay's already gone, when they leave Golden State, will you stick with it?

[Langston Kerman]

Probably not. I think I'll bail on them immediately.

[Thriller]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

What am I here for?

[Brett]

See, I envy that. Yeah. I think that we're all falsely loyal for no reason to sports there. The players aren't even loyal. They don't care anymore. They tell us constantly it's a business. It's a business, and we treat it like it's, like, our heart and soul.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I don't need that.

[Brett]

I'm with you.

[Langston Kerman]

These guys change their loyalty every year, and rightfully so.

[Brett]

They're. They're.

[Langston Kerman]

They're chasing.

[Brady]

Say it's business.

[Brett]

And the fans ever said it's business and stop showing up. They'd be mad at us like, oh, you're not a loyal fan. I'm like, nobody on this team is Not.

[Langston Kerman]

Not one person here is a dedicated employee.

[Brett]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

And I don't blame you for not being that.

[Brett]

But I've spent more money on the Steelers than I have me.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Like, my medical records would show that I have more money invested in the Steelers in my own body.

[Langston Kerman]

I hope they never write that down.

[Brett]

And that's dumb.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I think. What am I getting out of it other than most of the time disappoint.

[Langston Kerman]

I think. I think to be fan. A fan of a team is to be fan of the owner of that team. And never have I met an owner where I'm like, that. Dude's awesome.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

That's Steve Ballmer. What a cool guy.

[Brett]

Good way to look.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I don't.

[Brady]

I don't.

[Brett]

Does he like me?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Brett]

The owner of the Steelers. Is Dan Rooney. Going to come to my house? Go. You're the best. Thanks for all this, man.

[Langston Kerman]

I love you, John.

[Brett]

Happening. You and I are best friends.

[John Holmberg]

Who's the one that said rooting for laundry?

[Brett]

That was Chael Sonnen from the ufc. UFC came in here once and he goes, you like that? He goes. He said, you'll cheer for anything. He said, after a while, you just have to realize you're cheering for the jersey. You're just cheering for laundry.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[Brett]

And it kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm like, he's right.

[Langston Kerman]

What a mean thing to say.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

While you're wearing the laundry.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah. It was tough.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Why do you. And I'm like, oh, he's right. Langston, it's been a pleasure meeting you. Langston Kerman, Desert Rigid Improv. Tomorrow and. Or tonight and tomorrow, if you want to go. Desert Ridge. Improv.com. leave us with words of wisdom, sir. Change the world. If Langston Kerman was in charge.

[Brady]

Hey. Hey.

[Langston Kerman]

Go out there, be brave, and never stand still on an escalator.

[Brett]

That's great advice. People who stand on the escalator, keep moving. Screw it up for everyone.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Keep moving.

[Langston Kerman]

The life. There's too much life to be had.

[Brady]

And it's faster if you are standing, especially on those. Airport one.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Stand aside.

[Langston Kerman]

The moving sidewalk.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Are you insane?

[Brett]

Yeah. The people movers are designed to help us go faster, not just make us lazy.

[Langston Kerman]

Keep moving, sister.

[Brett]

And it's always her. I'm with you on that. That was misogynistic. But he's not wrong, Langston. Thank you. Langston Kerman, Desert Ridge Improv. This weekend. It's out of control now. 98. Morning sickness. Langston is eagle the archer in the boys. And it didn't dawn on me until afterwards. I don't do research for guests. I don't like that. Because then you start asking questions that you already know the answer to. So I like to just get to know the person. And that sometimes backfires because had I had I paid attention, I'd have been boys crazy. Well, that sounds bad. I would have been the boys. I would have paid attention is what I'm saying. Yeah. The eagle, the archer. He helped a train kill that lady. It's great. He was awesome. He was a good dude. So he's. This weekend, you Go see some funny people. There's one of them right there. It's easy peasy. Go out and see Langston. He's a nice guy, and you can talk to him about the boys. Because I missed that, I got a text from a guy named Zach about Homeburg after dark coming up, December 12th. Tickets are going fast. Surprisingly, we have booked it all up. The guests are fantastic.

[John Holmberg]

The video.

[Brett]

Videos are not picked yet, but I guarantee you they're gonna be good. The whole thing is usually a ton of fun. We drink like crazy, and it's all for the Humane Society. Already Lerner and Roe and Dr. Fixler and his amazing family out there at Happy Endings Euthanasia have kicked in for the Humane Society and done their part. So we're off to a good start. Now you guys get out there and the proceeds will go help out the Humane Society as well as we have a blast. Zach emails and says Holmberg. After Dark, huh? After countless attempts. Attempts. I've met you guys several times. You have finally succeeded in taking my money. Good job, Jew. See you in December. Love you guys that well. There you go. That's. Good job, Jew. Should be a shirt I have to wear. That's fine. Excellent work. And before we get to the entertainment drill, because this has been on my mind for the last three days, and I haven't gotten to it. Have you guys seen the promo they're doing for Wicked? For Good, for Evil, whatever it's called with it. For Good, for Good. What is going on with these women, these skinny ladies who are trying to race themselves back to zero? You got Ariana Grande, and then that's not Jada Pinkett, but she's bald, so that's all I think of, is that somebody's gonna punch.

[Brady]

Might be a robot.

[Brett]

They act like pod people, like in a sci fi movie when the aliens are afraid of humans. They huddle together in shake. Have you seen, like, the red carpet stuff that's going on?

[Brady]

When she got attacked, there was an attack.

[Brett]

The guy just jumped in and security.

[Brady]

Picture with her, but they called an attack, grabbed her.

[Brett]

And then she's in another thing where Ariana Grande's in a. In a Q and A and they're on a stage, and the interviewer grabs Ariana's arm and just kind of like, gives her one of those. That's great answer. Kind of shakes her arm a little bit. Like, you know when somebody does it. Oh, nice job. And they're touchy. The girl, like, immediately goes into defense mode and holds her arm as if it's been shattered like a boom bird. They treat each other like they're the most fragile people ever. And every time I see them, they're eight pounds lighter than they were the time before. They're getting down to birth weight.

[Brady]

She is fragile.

[Brett]

She has to be. They're not eating. Does anyone care about these two? I've got two Karen carpenters, one in each color, and neither of them are going the right direction. And nobody's saying anything. Is it time that we all said, hey, Ariana, I know this might offend you, but if anyone cared about you, they'd look at you and say, you are fading away. This is not a healthy look. She looks horrifyingly thin.

[Brady]

Thank you, John. I will take that into consideration.

[Brett]

But I think if you said it, they'd shake together in their nest and just sit there until the threat was over.

[Brady]

Well, I saw one weird. The other one defended. Or vivo. Is that her name?

[Brett]

I don't know. Yeah, Erivo, I'll give you that.

[Brady]

She got out of the way. The, you know, kind of pulled the fan off. He just put his arm around. Want to take a picture? Dude shouldn't have done it. Michelle, you. Yo.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Was stand there and just put her back into the nest.

[Brett]

Yeah, she's. Yeah, she's like, Michelle, yo's karate trained. She was in some karate stuff. She can fight.

[Brady]

I'm not getting in that mess.

[John Holmberg]

Look at her chest right here.

[Brett]

Oh, you can see her. Yeah, her. Her breastbone no longer has breasts on it. It's got bones. It's. And she's always been small. This is unhealthy. And the other girl that they're like, in love with each other.

[Brady]

She's going for the Asian look too.

[Brett]

I don't know what's going on. Going on.

[Brady]

Cuz look at her days with Nickelodeon, I believe. Yeah, she's a little thicker. Her first album.

[Brett]

Yeah, she was, you know, she was human sized. Somebody's got to say something. And I, you know, I'll get. Somebody will get mad at me and say, brownie shaming. Body shaming. I'm saving her life. Somebody's got to say something. I mean, it is. Oh, there's a picture right there. That's just. That's not good. She's a beautiful lady. Look at that. Just six years ago, she was so big, like, compared to now. And she's always been small. Look at that. That's a picture of a healthy person, an unhealthy person. No one else is seeing the writing on the wall. Here where we got to say something. Somebody who cares about them has to say something. And the two of them act like.

[Brady]

Mouse, she's making us money.

[Brett]

That's kind of. It's Disney, but it's like perennially 50 below to her and her other skinny friend. The two of them are killing each other. And everybody's like, oh, what a love affair. I watched an interview with her yesterday, and somebody said they were on the red carpet, and a lady was like, what do you. What do you have a message? I don't even know why this is a question. She goes, what's the message to the gay community from Wicked? And I'm like, you're welcome. Like, the gays have loved the wizard of Oz since, I mean, Judy Garland became their spokesperson for a while before being gay was a thing. We knew about Judy Garland and the gays. Dorothy was their spokesman thing. And they both said, oh, my God. If you read the books, you realize that this was a. A novel about gay acceptance. The whole time, I'm like, no, it wasn't. These were children's books.

[Brady]

They're saying about a rainbow.

[Brett]

No. Well, that's the thing. You start getting confused and add the rainbow into old times. But she's like, the Frank Baum books were all gay acceptance, and everything's. No, dude wrote children's books. This wasn't a gay movie.

[Brady]

This was.

[Brett]

This was source of about believing in yourself and, you know, and loving what you have around you instead of, you know, dreaming, you know, you can always be. It's weird how insane their message is. And then the two of them, like, if the wind blows, they grab each other and start to shake. They're like little leaves. Somebody's got to say something because Ariana used to be kind of hot, and now it's just like, oh, she's going to die and everybody's going to be. What happened? You don't blame me?

[John Holmberg]

I was trying.

[Brady]

Not Pete Davidson.

[Brett]

Pete. Maybe she just misses Pete. Maybe Pete was, like, full of calories. Chock full of calories. That might have been.

[John Holmberg]

Moves on. Yeah, I mean, what he's packing, it doesn't matter. He's got his pick.

[Brett]

Pete's protein kept some muscle on those bones, and he took it away from her. Anyway, I just wanted to point that out, that you heard it here first. I don't want to talk about unhealthy people because Thriller just walked in. But just saying, it's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail]. That's the home of tactical black self defense training. Get in on this. Their 25th anniversary is in 2026. They're jumping the gun on that and giving you a chance to jump in early as a KUPD listener. 89 bucks for a month of training. That's every class they've got. Go to their website and check out how much you're actually getting for this and how often you can go and train. It's an amazing thing. You can do the knife, you can do the self defense, you can do the gun, you can, you can do the cardio, you can do bag classes, learn to hit, learn to fight, all that other stuff. The fight class is amazing. So many different things and it sounds violent, but it's not. It's very controlled. And you will get out of there feeling great about yourself and just a little bit stronger mentally and physically for 89 bucks for the month. That is unbelievable. Celebrate the 25th anniversary of ReactDefense.com right now. ReactDefense.com that's the home of tactical black Brady and Entertainment.

[Brady]

Did you know the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade didn't always feature giant balloons?

[Brett]

Nope.

[Brady]

The parade first took place in 1924. Initially had real life animals from the central parks.

[Brett]

They floated them around.

[Brady]

No, they flow them around. They walked them around. There's elephants.

[Brett]

Oh.

[Brady]

The first cat or the first balloon animals. Basically Felix the cat in 1927.

[Brett]

They didn't do the first cat. That was years before he was filled.

[Brady]

With oxygen and helium or. No, just he was filled with oxygen.

[Brett]

No helium.

[Brady]

No helium. With giant sticks.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Then they went to the helium and.

[Brett]

Massive flame issues with oxygen filled animals.

[Brady]

They have a couple old pictures of 1924 1. And then when they had featured Felix, 1924 guys felt a little safer with Felix the cat.

[Brett]

Well, there's less of a chance of a stampede really with a balloon animal than the 14 elephants I'm looking at in a row here. That's scary. I don't know that I'd align the streets. Well, they just. Yeah, zoo animals that got a little smell of freedom as they walked down Broadway. I'm not so sure that was a great idea. And I bet you there's a story somewhere in there where they almost killed a bunch of people and said, we got to stop doing this.

[Brady]

There's a new king of comics. He's actually the same old king, but that Superman copy, number one from 1939 sold for 9.12 million. It's a record because the Previous one, Action Comics, had a number one from 1938. It sold for 6 million in 2024.

[Brett]

That's a lot for a cartoon.

[Brady]

The other thing that was bought in the auction, winning bidder was $80,000. Set total was $80,276. It was a Bible given to O.J. simpson from Robert Kardashian.

[Brett]

They had that on auction earlier in the summer. And there's a message that Robert wrote to O.J. in the Bible. Bible, right, the first.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Brett]

And he gave it to him in jail. He did, yeah.

[Brady]

And Kim Kardashian was the winning bidder.

[Brett]

Oh, she bought her dad's Bible back.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

Or OJ's. Her sister. Her uncle, actually, technically, because OJ is Chloe's dad. Step uncle. Yeah, Step uncle. I guess that would have, like, uncle twice removed. Yeah, I expose it. Hey, you guys, I'll come back for the squares. I just want to let you know. Hey, thanks, Br. Happy's here, everybody. How you doing? Show JJ. Show friend. OJ it's yours truly.

[Brady]

You know you're smoking today.

[Brett]

I am on fire, tell you that. Let me tell you something. I got that Bible in jail. I really appreciated it. It was a nice gift, I think. And I opened it and, like, on the third page, it says, thou shalt not kill. I said, that's the stupidest advice I've ever gotten. So I. I just gave it back. Back. So to my. What is she, My niece, Brett Stepney. I'm not sure how it works when you impregnate their mother. And it's.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, I don't know.

[Brett]

To Kim. Thank you for buying my Bible, because I didn't. You know what? It's gently used, I'll tell you that. I didn't read any of it. I didn't have any need for that. I knew where I was going to end up. So that's that.

[Brady]

You're a good stepdad.

[John Holmberg]

It should have been just given to your daughter.

[Brett]

You'd think they'd just skip over it, like, you know, like. Like it was going to help anybody time I got it. It's just stupid to give me find God now. That was. I helped a couple people find God earlier than they expected, that's for sure. Anyway, I just thought I'd pop by and let you know that that Bible, it makes a noise when you open it because it's never been opened before. It's gonna crack and creep. I found out from Brady that there was a note in it from a Kardashian. I had no idea I thought it was from Robert saying, I know you my wife. Anyway, Chloe's six feet tall, and nobody else in that family's over five, three. You do the math. All right. All right.

[Thriller]

Just saying.

[Brett]

I got to go get ready for them squares. All right, we'll see you.

[Brady]

The Equus blurred on the. Thou shalt covet thy wife.

[Brett]

See the not blurred of the knot thou shalt not. This is a misprint. Got to cover that wife of his.

[Brady]

Kim said someone asked her, what we you going to tell your kids about this? And she said to her, so son and daughter. Daughter, Chicago. My daddy gave me this book to his best friend to give him some motivation from Jesus.

[Brett]

Yeah. And their exposure to Jesus is Kanye's preaching. So these kids are stable because remember, Kanye started church every weekend. For a while there, everybody was losing their minds about how spiritual Kanye was. That worked out and that changed. I think he's still spiritual. I just think he kind of leans Nazi. Also.

[Brady]

I saw a thing where he bought a ranch in Wyoming and he sold it back for the people to the people that he bought it from for the same price. So they just like 12 million.

[Brett]

He bought it for 12 and then sold it back for 12?

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

So nothing happened? Yep. They canceled the deal.

[Brady]

He's like, well, you give me what I paid for.

[Brett]

Oh, he had it for a while. I thought you meant like in the same day.

[Brady]

No, he, like, turned.

[Brett]

All right.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Want it back. Okay. 12 million. You just gave us that. Give me my check back. All right. The hell's wrong with him?

[Frank]

So much.

[Brady]

How about this? Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel and Josh gad have reportedly signed a deal for over 60 million each.

[Brett]

Frozen 3 and 4. Oh, they got to do two of them.

[Brady]

Yeah. Frozen 3 hits the theaters November 24th of 2020.

[Brett]

Film 30 mill a movie to just v voice it.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brett]

And also I bet you the songs they sing, they're going to get royalties off that too.

[Brady]

Or it's an all.

[Brett]

I doubt it. Nobody does that. You get the 30 for the movie, and then if the songs pop, they're getting. They're. You're dumb if you leave Will close enough. It's John to hit Brady. You're making a fool yourself. Her name is Janina badoodles.

[Brady]

Oh, you know that.

[Brett]

Come on. She sang the song from Frozen.

[Brady]

Cardi b had the umbilical cord from her recent pregnancy turned into a heart shaped keepsake.

[Brett]

I'm gonna go throw up for half an hour.

[Brady]

They. They dried it up, turned it into a heart and Then put some gold chrome on it.

[Brett]

How come we never keep the feeding tube of our grandparents, but we do it for babies?

[Brady]

She turned the placenta into pills.

[Brett]

I'm gonna feel that's a bad bag of poop.

[John Holmberg]

All right, next.

[Brett]

Yeah, my videos, you know, nothing. No. And when Grandpa has a colostomy bag and a feeding tube, nobody ever keeps it when he's gone.

[Brady]

She got the idea and went to the same jeweler that Megan Fox, Vanessa Hutchins, Hudgins, Chrissy Teigen and Ashley Simpson.

[John Holmberg]

All stable people.

[Brett]

Everybody you're talking about is like a model citizen of emotional stability.

[Brady]

Anyways.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's insane. Anyway. Well, there you go. All right. It's 9:30 thrillers here. It's Friday. That means it's time for your Guadalupe squares. We're going to pop those up. What do we have to give away?

[John Holmberg]

Good question.

[Brett]

Yeah, get on there. I wonder if it's the Homework After Dark tickets. We start giving those out yet? Stretch people.

[John Holmberg]

Tell more about Cardi B.

[Brett]

No, I don't want to talk about umbilical cords anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Well, here we go.

[Brett]

Now he's got more. Wait, he wasn't. Isn't done. No.

[Brady]

Mommy Maid is the company that makes the umbilical core.

[Brett]

Stop it.

[Brady]

Cord jewelry.

[Brett]

Until you start doing it for, you know, people who died young and had to be on tubes and bags. Why do you save your baby's stuff? Why. Why would you want them? Why would you want the feeding tube of your infant? And you don't want it for Grandpa?

[Brady]

It's beautiful pendant.

[Brett]

It isn't beautiful anything. Then do it for Pop Pop. When Pop Pop has a colostomy bag, you put that in the freezer and save it for later. Of course not. It's disgusting. That's essentially placenta after birth. After. After birth. It's a bag of poop and waste.

[Brady]

They. It's like if there's liquid in it, like at toothpaste, they. They squeeze it out and then drive up.

[Brett]

Try the same with Pop. Same with Grandpa. They would do the same thing. You just keep his feeding tube. You're never going to make this. My grandfather, he meant the world.

[Brady]

It's like a hollow bully stick.

[Brett]

What are we giving away?

[John Holmberg]

Joe Coy tickets?

[Brett]

Oh my God, that's amazing. We got Joe Koi tickets for tomorrow. That's a great guest. Ah, I like that one. Joe Coy tickets are on the line for the Guadalupe squares. We'll play those. We need a girl. We need a boy. We'll play the squares next 585-9800. It's out of control now. 98, can you please. Morning sickness. Morning sickness. It's Friday. We got Joe Coy tickets in our hands. We want to get rid of those. We're going to have people online doing that in just a second, but we need our host Corey to take us through this. How are you, Thriller?

[Thriller]

I'm doing all right. About yourself?

[Brett]

I'm doing well, thanks for asking. Are you a busy weekend?

[Thriller]

I got a couple games, yeah.

[Brett]

That doesn't mean you're doing anything. Raiders are playing.

[Thriller]

Yeah. On Sunday.

[Brett]

Patriots we're going to have this week. You don't know.

[Thriller]

I played on Monday, so I'm not sure.

[Brett]

And then what is the other one? NAU Football.

[Thriller]

NAU Football, yes. They have their last game of the season this weekend. Unless they do good enough to get selected for postseason.

[Brett]

Right. And. And their rival is Wyoming.

[Thriller]

They have a lot. But yeah, after their plans, it's Red Rock Battle.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's what they call it.

[Thriller]

Yeah. Red Rock rivalry.

[John Holmberg]

Raiders are playing the Browns.

[Brett]

Oh, Raiders, Browns.

[John Holmberg]

What a barn burner.

[Brett]

Seven versus two and eight. This is gonna be great stuff.

[Brady]

What's the channel again?

[Brett]

Yeah, just listen to that live on kdos where the Deuce hits the fan.

[Thriller]

We have not used that in a long time.

[Brett]

The Deuce and the Fan were both names of it at one point.

[Thriller]

Oh, I know.

[Brett]

When they changed it from the fan to the Deuce, I said they should call the Deuce hit the fan and they didn't think that was funny at all. I did though. It doesn't matter now. It's the.

[Thriller]

The sports locker, just 1060.

[Brett]

Oh, that's right. They just. They don't even use words. Did you hear Dan Patrick show yesterday?

[Thriller]

I did, yeah.

[Brett]

Kelly Endo was on there. Did you hear? What? He was talking about me the whole time. Really? You didn't hear that?

[Thriller]

I knew the full segment.

[Brett]

No. Damn it, Corey. You don't even listen and you're the only one in there. Three hours show.

[Thriller]

I can't catch every second of it.

[Brett]

But the only one in there. You stay the whole time anyway. What are you gonna do? I was all over Dan Patrick yesterday.

[Brady]

Was he telling the Shatner story or.

[Brett]

He talked about Shatner. He talked about. He was just overly kind to me. And it got back to me all day. And then of course, course, Frank, not wanting to be outdone by people letting me know they heard it, text me. He goes, I talked about you a ton on Dan Patrick today. I'm like, thanks, Frank, do I owe you money or anything?

[Thriller]

I framed you for the murder. You're welcome.

[Brett]

Exactly. Kind of felt like that. Anyway, it's time for your Guadalupe squares. Here's your host, Thriller Wall. Thank you, Chancellor. Let's begin.

[Thriller]

Top left square. We're staying over at Club Shay Shay right now. What's going on here?

[Brett]

Skip, hit the button. Hit the button. Hit the. There we are. Welcome to Club Shay. This is my theme song. This is my. This my theme song. This my theme song. I'm Shannon Chop, your host today. Guest. Other sexual harassers start with smoking. Robinson, you need to hit a button on this.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Brett]

I didn't hear. I did. I Skip, skip, skip, skip. A bunch of white guys. There's curse word. The Club Shay Shay. Ain't got no cursing. Ain't got none of that. Today's gift if you pick the square. Smokey Robinson. Smokey S to the M to the O to the. Because we both have a lot in common. Women's be saying we done terrible things we ain't done. Women. General women. They say. They say. They say, Shannon, you done licked me like a salt lick against my will. And I said no, I did nothing. No such thing. Say Shay Shay, get the club. Now you got Smokey. S to the M to the O to the KTE to the Y. I did it.

[Brady]

Word.

[Brett]

Word from Brady. Like Brady. Like Club Sh Shay. Andy Richter. Hang around. That's right. All right. Club Shay Shay, come back. Pick my squares, meet smoke at Robinson. Problem. We don't need to continue.

[Thriller]

All right, up next now, top middle square. Jfk.

[Brett]

I'm celebrating quite an anniversary this weekend. Happy Thanksgiving. That I'll never see again. Don't forget to have your annual traditional cherry pie with the back blown out of it. Yep. Splat it all over the countertop.

[Brady]

We do cranberry sauce.

[Brett]

You do cranberry or any sort of blood related colored project.

[Brady]

Drop it on the counter.

[Brett]

Just throw it out of the can and let it leak.

[Thriller]

Yes.

[Brett]

And that is pouring one out for the homie.

[Brady]

How do you pay tribute to Jackie?

[Brett]

Scooping it up. She. That's. She dresses in a pink dress and scoops it back onto your plate with her hands.

[Brady]

You got to wear pink.

[Brett]

I. Yes. You wear pink for Thanksgiving at the Kennedy House and you recreate the moment culinarily. Yes. Full. Full food related.

[Thriller]

Got to dress up as all the bystanders.

[Brett]

Exactly. The man with the umbrella, the guy in the window, and of course, well, the quote unquote assassin.

[Brady]

We have a Wilshire.

[Thriller]

You don't believe it either?

[Brett]

I was there. I saw the bullet coming. You cannot see things from behind. I got hit in the throat twice. How do you do that from the back? Well, I was very curious about the movie that used to have the curve bullets with Angelina Jolie. By the way, if I was still alive, I would have nailed that. In fact, even dead, I think I could get a. I need Lee Harvey. You are a madman. I need your Thanksgiving jokes like I need a hole in the head. What? What?

[Thriller]

Over now to the top right square. Another president.

[Brady]

President Trump.

[Thriller]

How are you, sir?

[Brett]

You know what I like Presidents who have been shot and lived. I'm one of those. I'm one of those. I don't like those.

[Thriller]

Those two of you and Teddy, well.

[Brett]

You know, there's a couple. Teddy. Teddy Roosevelt took one and Reagan got hit. But I like presidents who get shot and live. I don't like the pussy. Presidents that would cry and whine about it with their brains everywhere.

[Thriller]

But you still give RFK a chance.

[Brett]

RFK was never president.

[Thriller]

No, what I'm saying is, like, you didn't let the family line die out with jfk.

[Brett]

Well, no, because they're survivors. Both the Kennedy boys. Very weak towards bullets compared to me. It's very true. My wrong, Brett. No, I mean, I would love to argue this point, but he's right. There is no argument here. That's right. I stood there and got a bigger bullet by the way. You were shot with a baby gun. A little tiny character. Found your slug. Oh, it was a. Might have been a pellet. Got clobbered by one of the biggest rifles you can get hit by. And I stood up and what did I do? I said fight, fight, fight. What did carry Kennedy to do his wife? That's Jackie. Help. I didn't ever say Melania. I didn't. I just said fight, fight, fight. Makes me a better president than Kennedy, I think. And we've already determined. Yeah, but you blew Clinton. Ah, that's not proven. Quiet, piggy.

[Thriller]

There's a lot of bubbles. There's a lot of Bubbas.

[Brett]

Either way, it was a party down on the island that nobody talks about. Clinton or a horse. Legendary. A lot of people say I am a horse. It's a big one. I'm not gonna lie, Bubba. I've been shot in the head twice by Bubba and once by a stranger. Still standing. Fight, fight, fight. That's right. Try to take me down. You can't do it. Bullets. I'm like Superman. Unlike Kennedy, whose head's made of balloons or paper mache just explodes.

[Thriller]

All right, over now to the middle of square. Billy Bob Thornton joining us.

[Brett]

What the hell's going on around. Around here? But just watch Landman. It's got a new guy in it. Did you see the guys in it with me? Have you been watching Brady? I haven't, but I know the billboard. I'm sure it's pretty great. But you got. Sam Elliott's in it with me and he's here right now. Come on in here, Sam. They're going me home. That's exactly right. Almost the exact same lot of dude juice. There's a bunch of. There's 150 years of dude juice experience on Landman this year. Isn't that right, Sam? You know it's me. Oh, see, it's. All you got to do is the same voice. Just turn it up louder. I'd say, Miho, you got a twofer. Nailed it there, Mio. Told you. It's the same exact thing. Anyway, I'm also selling my Boxmasters box set. And that's just pictures of I've nailed. It's not even music how many. It's. It's almost like Publishers clearing or not. The. What was that clear. The Columbia House.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Just one a month for the rest of your life for a penny. And you're just going to get a picture of a box you can't believe. I nailed and I nailed it. It's good stuff, I'll tell you that. Is it before or after? After. Me. Ho. That's exactly right. It's the same exact voice twice. All right, keep it going.

[Thriller]

Oh, no worries. Now over to center square. Hard of hearing, Brady? Can you hear us?

[Brett]

What? Yeah. No, no.

[Thriller]

You're hard of hearing.

[Brett]

Is that right?

[Frank]

I'm hard on what?

[Brady]

No, no, you're not hard.

[Thriller]

Brady, are you hard of hearing what I'm saying?

[Brett]

I said what?

[Frank]

There's always someone.

[Langston Kerman]

Wawa.

[Brady]

Wawa.

[Thriller]

You got that right.

[Brett]

Wawa. You got him on that one.

[Frank]

That's right. I can't talk to him because I'm congested and I don't hear very well. But I think I. I sound the same.

[Brett]

What?

[Brady]

I don't think so.

[Frank]

The best thing about having no hearing and that Toledo is just a figure that walks in a room and opens his mouth and I don't hear it again. I'm gonna do a pod for people who are part of hearing.

[Thriller]

Okay. Good luck.

[Frank]

Yeah. I don't know if we can. Great idea, but it's called Brady Bogan.

[Brett]

What?

[Frank]

And I'll be talking about how hard it is to deal with everyday life without hearing.

[Thriller]

That'll be a terrible interview.

[Brady]

Who's your first guest? What?

[Brett]

What? What?

[Frank]

Hold on. Blaney on. And we're gonna do our impression of the seagulls from Nemo. I can't hear.

[Thriller]

All right, now over to the middle right square. OJ Joining us once again.

[Brett]

What says hello there? Thr there.

[Brady]

He just sound excited about that juice. I'm sorry.

[Brett]

You know what? Thrillers. You know, he's the type of person doesn't like OJ for all sorts of reasons. During football. During my career in football. Yeah. There's no way he'd have caught me.

[Thriller]

No one could have, man.

[Brett]

During my murdering years. He would have been an easy kill. Would have been like a. Like a lion and a zebra. I would have taken you down so fast. Course, then again, you probably would have been another 15 or 20 minutes away from Nicole's house to drop off the. Those sunglasses. Made it, that is. But an able bodied guy got there in a reasonable amount of time. Anyway, I saw John's Bronco again. I was out there. Man, that thing is nice. I laid down in the back. I checked out the wig and gun compartment. I don't even know if he has that, but it's got a nice hiding spot there. You can just go around in that Bronco and, you know, scare the hell out of white women. I'll pop up out of the back seat like it's Halloween every day.

[Thriller]

I have seen so many broncos around here since.

[Brett]

So many. It's a lot. There's a lot of people. This is called the getaway car. Was the best getaway car I've ever had.

[Brady]

Blood and jaw. John's Bronco.

[Brett]

I think it comes with that. I think it comes with the glove box. I ain't got no need for gloves, Brett. I thought it was snitches get stitches. Presley. I'm just saying. Glove box. That's a good one. Everybody knows when you're done with gloves, you just chuck them at the guest house. That's crazy talk. Put them in the glove box. But you know how fast Philip Van Hatter would have found my gloves if I took the glove box literally?

[Langston Kerman]

Box's name is Cato.

[Brett]

That's like having a gun box or a blonde headbox. I mean, that's ridiculous. You can find all the evidence if I was with you. Jesus Christ. Anyway. And I can take his name in vain because I'm never gonna meet him anyway. All right. I'M just saying.

[Thriller]

All right, now over to the bottomless square. Brady's secret square. Give us a hint.

[Brady]

Morning, gents.

[Brett]

Now get your hands up.

[Frank]

This is a stick up.

[Brett]

I'm Billy the Kid.

[Thriller]

Oh, that's gonna be.

[Brett]

But I want you to guess my.

[Brady]

Real name, you pussies. Oh.

[Brett]

Gave away the game. And then he took it back. Wow.

[Thriller]

Nice save.

[Brady]

Green horn and jiving. You're like Pat Garrett.

[Thriller]

Over now.

[Brady]

Shot me.

[Brett]

I just remembered his name. I just remembered his name.

[John Holmberg]

I don't.

[Brett]

You don't remember it from Young Guns?

[Brady]

You don't remember?

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, he. He sold it too. So, I mean, let's see if anybody remembers. All right, go ahead. Over.

[Thriller]

Now, bottom, middle square, we have Frank and Sylvester still over the gather.

[Brett]

You know, I'm so proud of my brother. He made 18 cents this morning on the show. Cuz you got. You guys played his song far from over to start the show.

[Thriller]

Royalty.

[Brett]

He's outside. We want to go get him. Yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

Come on in.

[Brett]

Hey, you know, stay outside.

[Brady]

What?

[Brett]

Oh, come on.

[Brady]

Let him come in.

[Frank]

Let me come on in. Come on.

[Brett]

I want him in. You know, he's all right out there. He's going to sing by that trash can or something. Don't bother.

[Brady]

He's a bum.

[Brett]

Exactly. You know, Mickey will tell you he's nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Give another 18 cents, you're nothing.

[Brett]

My guys.

[Frank]

Play my song again.

[Brett]

Get out of here, Frankie. Come on. You know they want the stars. You know, you stand outside and sing outside by the trash can.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Yogi looks up to him, though.

[Brett]

Hey, yo, Yogi Falcone. He could be in my next movie, you know.

[Frank]

I want to be in the next movie.

[Brett]

Hey, come on, Frank. I already give you your shot. Get out of here, you dumb. Thanks a lot, Mick. It's so good that Mick was having unexpected. Mickey was a treat.

[Thriller]

He's in your suitcase.

[Brett]

He just hangs around, you know, just always around.

[Frank]

I can always be around.

[Brett]

Yeah, you know I wouldn't be around. Frankie, you gotta stay outside. Don't get chicken, Frankie. Got to stay outside. Just one more Thriller.

[Thriller]

I know it's all right now we're. Now unless we're getting royalty.

[Brett]

Oh, yo. You guys are going to do this again?

[John Holmberg]

He needs another 18 second third cents.

[Frank]

Come here.

[Thriller]

I sing it for 18 seconds is a lot. We'll see.

[Frank]

Come on, let me sing it out loud. Let me sing.

[Brett]

Get out of here. Frank, play the song.

[Thriller]

Why does he look like Zoolander?

[Brett]

Make 30 seconds. Six.

[Brady]

Well, now, welcome to the show.

[Brett]

You make 36 cents today. All right, Frankie. That's nice.

[Frank]

Hey, come on, give me something.

[Brett]

No perky.

[Brady]

Come on.

[Brett]

You don't do it, but got to have the studio, you know?

[Thriller]

All right, let's get a real professional in here. Bottom right square. Our Lord and Savior trip re.

[Brett]

Hello, sir.

[Langston Kerman]

I mean, Thriller.

[Brett]

If you're not listening to kdos, I was busy working on something that's like John saying he's not listening to Holmberg's morning sickness while he's doing it.

[Thriller]

For what it's worth, Brady doesn't.

[Frank]

I can't hear it. I haven't listened to it the whole.

[Brett]

I know, but man, I mean, Brett, in fairness, you've been cutting his legs out from under him ever since he's been in the show. He's allowed to take a dig back. Good one. Brilliant. Now, but again, it's sort of my Make a Wish station. I do it for you. If you don't want it, I'll just turn it off.

[Thriller]

No, no, I. I need a job.

[Brett]

All right. Well, that's a blanket trip. You're a good write off kid.

[Thriller]

That's right.

[Brett]

Yeah. And here's your adorable blanket. Cover yourself up there. Nice job. Who's on the phone?

[John Holmberg]

Carrie and Josh.

[Brett]

Kerry, are you there? I'm here. Josh, are you there? I'm here. All right, Carrie, you go first. Pick a square.

[John Holmberg]

Alrighty.

[Brett]

I'm gonna go with Trump this morning. All right, great. Great pick, Gary. Excellent job. You know, I've never. I've been shot, Gary, and I'm still here. Kennedy. Did you see the difference between me getting shot and Kennedy getting shot? I mean, one. One was clearly a big pussy and the other one was me. You ever get shot in the head? I have. I don't know that he was that talking to you.

[Frank]

When are you talking to me?

[Brett]

Oh, nobody's talking to Brady right now. Looking at the blank stare.

[Brady]

Mickey.

[Brett]

Mickey just shows up. He's just intermittent. Nick.

[Brady]

Mickey.

[Brett]

I'd really like it if Mickey said more than one line. Mickey's sort of a one trick pony.

[Brady]

You're a.

[Brett]

There he is. Notcher. He gotcha. Anyway, Mickey was shot and died, I think in the Rocky movies. I don't remember, but he didn't make it. Didn't make it. I'm one of the presidents that did. I got shot and just. I had a meeting the next day. Pretty great. I think getting shot and living is very impressive, isn't it? Love it. But don't they. What's her name again? Yeah, that's recess. She answered And I don't even know her name. Don't even have to know Kerry's name. Don't even have to know. You know what Kerry will never have to do?

[Thriller]

What's that?

[Brett]

Carry my brains off the back of a limousine. Just like Kennedy's wife. Exactly. That was disgusting. You guys are both pigs for laughing. All right, go ahead.

[Thriller]

Question for you here, sir. Pisanthrophobia is a fear of Italian people. True or false?

[Brett]

Pistanthrophobia. What?

[Thriller]

No, no, no. Pisanthropy.

[Brett]

By the way, what a movie. Carrie. What a movie. Did you ever see the movie Carrie that your neighbor named after? It reminded me a lot of. What does it remind me? Kennedy's assassination. So much blood. And mine, not so much. A lot of blood, but a lot of standing and a lot of yelling. Good things. I'll say. Piss 10th Robia. Is that what I'm saying? Am I saying.

[Thriller]

You're not even close. That's all right.

[Brett]

But it's being afraid of Italians. I love Italians. Okay? I've known several Italians. I know Brett. Brett's an Italian. I know Brett.

[Brady]

You don't fear Brett.

[Brett]

I don't have any fear of any man. I'm not even afraid of projectiles shot from guns and my head. Or from.

[Brady]

Never mind.

[Brett]

I don't give. Or from Bill Clinton's wang. I've taken them both. Taking them both in stride. I'll say that's probably false. I don't think there is such a thing as fear of Italians. They're very weak people. Never won a war like me. I've won very many wars. A lot. Just this year, stopped a lot. Won a lot. Going to beat up Venezuela next. They're no good. Oh, okay. So pissed. Anthrophobia is not a fear of the Italians because there's no reason to fear them. They've surrendered. They surrender. They're the other. If it weren't for the French, they'd be the surrender monkeys. Okay, go ahead.

[Thriller]

Okay, you're saying false there. Now, Carrie, do you agree or disagree with false?

[Brett]

I'm going to agree. Correct. X gets the square. You got to have a lot of brains to answer these questions. Kennedy. I don't like him any more than you do.

[Thriller]

Over to Josh here. Make your selection.

[Brett]

Let's do heart of hearing. Brady.

[Frank]

What?

[Brett]

What?

[Frank]

Come to you house.

[Thriller]

I want you to bang, bang.

[Frank]

Oh, man. Come out to a side of us, my house.

[Brett]

What?

[Frank]

Bang, bang. I see that gun come out. Oh, boy.

[Brady]

It's the eyewitness.

[Frank]

It was an Ear witness?

[Brady]

No, it's an eyewitness.

[Frank]

You see the guy on the news that's been putting his ear off against people's windows?

[Brett]

What?

[Frank]

That's me trying to figure out what's going on in there.

[Brett]

What?

[Frank]

I lost my hearing this week.

[Thriller]

All right, now look at my lips when I ask you this.

[Frank]

You got plenty lips, little man.

[Thriller]

If it makes you focus, then whatever.

[Frank]

Okay, can he take. Watch my. Read my dick.

[Brett]

He said focus.

[Frank]

Oh, all of us.

[Brady]

No, no, fo.

[Frank]

Oh, Anti. All right, Something else. All right, go ahead.

[Thriller]

Pirates wore eye patches so their eyes could easily adjust till light changes above and below.

[Frank]

I can't wear an iPad. And then we become Helen Color officially.

[Brett]

Wait, what?

[Thriller]

Wear two of them?

[Brady]

How does that work?

[Brett]

I don't think you know how it works. Eye patch. And you don't tell me.

[Frank]

A high. IE I, E. Hey, I, E, O.

[Brady]

Uh, yes.

[Frank]

Pirates. I've watched a lot of pirate games, and I don't think they wear them.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Frank]

I think the pirates were on iPads so they could look through their telescope.

[Brett]

Okay, I'll say that.

[Brady]

That's.

[Thriller]

All right. So you were saying false.

[Brett]

False.

[Thriller]

Okay, so you're saying false. Now, Josh, do you agree or disagree with.

[Brady]

False.

[Brett]

I disagree.

[John Holmberg]

Correct.

[Thriller]

Then who gets the center?

[Brett]

Oh, well, right back to Jerry Hunter. Who?

[Brady]

He's guilty. Hunter Biden.

[Frank]

Hunter Biden is very guilty. Puck on Hunter.

[Brett]

What?

[Frank]

I don't think you're allowed to say that.

[Brady]

You want to. Puck.

[Brett]

What?

[Frank]

Not in front of anybody, but yes.

[Thriller]

All right, back to Carrie here. Make a choice.

[Brady]

Let's go with Smokey Robinson.

[Brett]

All right.

[Thriller]

Club Shay Shay.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you need to.

[Thriller]

You still got it.

[Brett]

Skip. Skip. At the Club jj, You pick. You pick. You picked the Club J that did that. Time for club. We're glad y' all here. Sit back, sit back. Now, Brady.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

List them. I say, Brady, list them. It don't matter what we're the Club jj The special guest today, other sexual assaulter. Smoke them, Robinson. Smoke him. Smoke all you here.

[Frank]

Hi, you guys.

[Brett]

How you doing?

[Frank]

I'm Smokey Robinson. Great to be on Tub Station.

[Brett]

Were you doing number four, Smoke Em.

[Frank]

Yes, I will. I try not to sexually harass people, but sometimes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If there's a smile on my face, I'm gonna put it between your. I don't give a. No one can hear your cries. Oh, I love Club Shay Shay. Putting my fingers inside your booty.

[Brett]

That was brilliant. Thank you, Mok. Oh, smokum. Smokem did a great job singing on Club JJ. 83 year old. You can't fight off an 83 year old man. Sexually, you deserve it.

[Thriller]

All right. Hopefully you have time for a Q and A here, Club Jack.

[Brett]

That's a fact. You laugh at that. But if an 83 year old man on top, you winning. Just lay back and take it. That's a bite for Club Shay Shay. Now if a man who is the size of a horse like me, you can fight back. It ain't gonna do you no good. So just relax.

[John Holmberg]

What'd you say?

[Brett]

Go ahead. I say relax.

[Thriller]

No worries. Question for you here.

[Brett]

Yep.

[Thriller]

Men who kiss their wives before leaving for work live an average of five years longer.

[Brett]

I like to kiss other men's wives before they go to work. How long do you live?

[Frank]

I kiss everybody's wife whether they like it or not.

[Brett]

Oh my God.

[Frank]

I don't know this song. That was horrifying.

[Brett]

They say they kiss. Kiss your wife kiss your wife. Kiss who? Wife kiss her wife. Your wife. My wife.

[Thriller]

The one you married.

[Brett]

Disgusting. You know her mouth have been. You gonna tell us? You get down if you start. Let me put my finger on my chin. Skip to the chest. Skip to the belly. Skip to the pelvis. There you go.

[Brady]

There it is.

[Brett]

My wife like to kiss me goodbye. Give me a little sugar. Really? Literally? Sugar cube, baby.

[Frank]

Let me bruise you together.

[Brady]

Don't get physical.

[Brett]

Please.

[Frank]

Let the professionals handle this. Don't be confused. My rape is clear. Stop admitting to crying and bruising together. If you want it, you got it. Forever. Cause I'm inside of you after I knock your bitch ass out. I made it free. You can't fight me. Then you deserve a what you get which is this thing in your mouth.

[Brady]

The thing.

[Frank]

Touch my dick.

[Brett]

Get your hand off Miss Smokeham. Smokey put his hand on my dick. Smoke does smoke dick. Touch your dick? Smoke him anyway.

[Frank]

We don't know the question.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Thriller]

Their wives live an average of five years longer.

[Frank]

I say it's true. Who cares? Kiss a whenever you feel like it. That's what I say.

[Brett]

All right.

[Thriller]

So you're saying true now. Do you agree or disagree with true?

[Brett]

I'm gonna agree.

[Brady]

Correct.

[Thriller]

Next gets the square.

[Brett]

Next one wins.

[Brady]

Next one wins.

[Brett]

Maybe the two.

[Thriller]

Josh.

[Brett]

Jfk, please. Jfk. I love it. I am closing out Thanksgiving weekend. Just like I opened her up in 63. Don't drop the ball. Here we go, Doc. All right. Just practicing whack. I don't like being this close to a window on an upper floor. Triggers. I don't like saying triggers.

[John Holmberg]

You're from Boston.

[Brett]

Not for the reasons that Brett thinks. All right, go ahead.

[Thriller]

All right. It would take you about 36 minutes to fall to the center of the earth. True or false?

[Brett]

I wonder which would have been more painful, what actually happened to me or a hole to the middle. Speaking of holes to the middle. Watch out there, Smokey. I'll say. I think that's probably false. It would take a lot longer to travel to the center of the earth.

[Thriller]

All right, you're saying false now. Josh for the win. Do you agree or disagree with false?

[Brett]

I'll agree.

[John Holmberg]

Correct.

[Thriller]

Sorbo gets it, you win.

[Brett]

They both get it. They both get it. We'll both give them prizes. Today we went really late. Holy smokes. Did we ever.

[Thriller]

Holy Robbie.

[Brett]

Holy Smokey Robinson.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody say Smokey Robinson.

[Brett]

Holy Smokey. Holy Smokey Robinson. Oh, no.

[Frank]

This is the same one as last time.

[Thriller]

Go away, man.

[Frank]

That's my new song called Bruising.

[Brady]

It's my. It's.

[Brett]

Oh, no, no, baby.

[Thriller]

Yes.

[Brett]

Ah. What?

[Thriller]

No, baby.

[Frank]

Let's take my dick to your mind.

[Thriller]

No, no, no.

[Frank]

Just release and you're fine.

[Brady]

The worst verse it is.

[Brett]

You are right.

[Frank]

You're going to fly away.

[Brett]

What?

[Frank]

Let's do some pelvic bruising together. Threw me off.

[Thriller]

That's on your mind, Brady.

[Frank]

Get out.

[Brett]

All right, we're done. You're doing nonsense. I don't know why you think that. That's when I game. That's when I ask you what you're doing for the weekend. It is rarely like what's on kdos.

[Thriller]

But you give me play games on the weekend.

[Brett]

Yeah, but what do you you do?

[Thriller]

I work on the weekends.

[Brett]

Dumb. We need to get you out of this.

[Brady]

When do you have a day off then?

[Brett]

Do you?

[Thriller]

It's up in the air.

[Brett]

Is it?

[Brady]

What?

[Brett]

It's debatable.

[Thriller]

It's pretty rare.

[Brett]

You're here every day?

[Thriller]

More or less. It's getting better as of late. But there was a while there, man. It was a good, I think a year or two.

[Brett]

Are you a hostage?

[John Holmberg]

Twice.

[Brett]

Jesus.

[Thriller]

How about you ask Tripp that question?

[Frank]

Why don't you come over to my house?

[Brady]

Passive aggressive.

[Frank]

I love victims.

[Brett]

Come on over.

[Thriller]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Frank]

And show you my tears of my penis.

[Thriller]

Oh, say tears, will you let the.

[Brady]

Man have a day off?

[Frank]

Tears in your brown.

[Brett]

Write that down.

[Frank]

That's good stuff.

[Brett]

Quick. Thanks to Ranch House grill this morning 56 street and Thomas. They dropped off a bunch of breakfast and we crushed it. So thank you to Leland and the gang at Ranch house grill over there.

[Langston Kerman]

56 and Thomas Y salad is untouched.

[Brett]

Yeah they made a special salad for Brady considering and he made a burrito veggie egg burrito and you knocked that down instead. Smart. Okay, there you go. Don't look at me ol? We're just keeping an eye on you. Everybody cares. People care about you.

[Brady]

Lunch.

[Brett]

But that's not good. I mean you can't have that in lunch.

[John Holmberg]

Can't eat the shell.

[Brett]

You can't eat the shell. Yeah, that's bad for you. Don't do that. Here it comes.

[Frank]

It's all right.

[Brady]

It's all right.

[Frank]

Doctor says I'm good again.

[Brett]

Oh boy. Here we go. Here we go. What? Yeah, that's right. Oh conveniently he went deaf when the food got yes, Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a great weekend we'll see you for play do starting Monday. Yikes. It's most powerful rocket it's out of control now 98k u p d.