Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 11-21-25 FULL SHOW (Friday)
Host: John Holmberg | Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Date: November 21, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness serves up the show's signature blend of sharp humor, personal anecdotes, and outrageous banter, focusing on the quirks of adulthood and modern masculinity. Kicking off with John’s mishaps changing windshield wipers, the show rolls into deep dives about "car guy" culture, pride and embarrassment in DIY projects, and the pitfalls of old-school gender roles in home repairs. Later, the group riffs on beauty pageants, body count confessions in dating, and welcomes comedian Langston Kerman for a high-energy, philosophical, and playful late-morning interview.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holmberg's Windshield Wiper Ordeal & Car Guy Vulnerability

Segment: 05:35–42:31

• John's Solo DIY Adventure:
  After needing new wipers and recalling how Brett and Brady failed at the job when his arm was injured years ago, John tries again himself—insisting on no YouTube tutorials (“I swore to myself, no YouTube videos will be used. I’m going to do it old school…” – John, 07:45). He celebrates a quick success but discovers while driving in the rain that one new wiper barely works.
• The Reveal:
  Amy from Lost Our Home Rescue points out John never removed the bright blue protective plastic from the blade—leading to a deflated confession that he'd have driven for years like that had she not intervened (“I thought my blades were just cool blue blades... She reaches out the window and pulls the blue plastic off.” – John, 13:45).
• Car Guy Hierarchy & Pride:
  The guys riff on how car guys can be judgmental and protective of their knowledge, but also invariably have “a broken car on their property” (“Every car guy has a broken, useless car on their property. You guys can’t live without a broken pile of crap.” – Brett, 36:28).
• Notable Anecdotes:
  • Brett nearly getting pinned under a car as a teenager.
  • The humiliations of asking for parts installation at AutoZone.
  • Car guys’ project cars that never leave the garage (“It’s a project. You’d think I was crazy. Now you’re doing it with cars.” – John, 29:19).

Quote:
“As a man, it’s so hard to go to AutoZone and go, Trevor, can you do this for me? Like, you just don’t want to be that dude.”
— John Holmberg, 16:53

2. Pageant People Are All Crazy

Segment: 47:25–59:10

• Pageant Scandal Mockery:
  In light of Miss Universe drama, John and Brett rail against the claims that pageants are about brains over beauty, pointing out the inanity and insanity of the pageant world. “Pageant women are crazy... If you’re thinking about putting your kids in pageants, you’re just building a nut ball.” (48:41)
• Society’s Perspective:
  The hosts agree that the broader population only cares if a winner “is hot or not”—not their intelligence or talents.
• Trans Representation and "Woke" Elements:
  The segment touches on Miss Vietnam being the first Asian trans woman to represent her country, lampooning the coverage and response.

Quote:
“Pageant people are scary… for all pageant people, let me speak for us normals: we see you all as crazy people.”
— John, 48:41

3. Body Count Confessions & Relationship Dealbreakers

Segment: 59:10–72:38

• Listener Email: Dating Someone with a Past
  Listener Jonathan asks whether he should be worried after his girlfriend of 39 reveals a sexual “body count” over 200 and a history of taking money for sex and selling photos.
• Hosts' Perspectives:
  • Brett: “They’ve all taken some currency for sex. Exactly. Whether it be dinner, whether it be a concert, at one point or another.” (61:12)
  • John: “It’s up to you—do I now see her as less than I did before?”
  • Brady: Thinks the conversation is best avoided, and worries about awkward situations like running into one of her past clients.
• Consensus:
  Ultimately, the past is only an issue if it fundamentally changes present perspective or causes chronic embarrassment or insecurity.

Quote:
“The past doesn’t bother me. Whatever you did before led you to this. And we’re here together and you seem okay to me.”
— John Holmberg, 63:13

4. Ask an Italian! Indoctrinating Kids in ‘Mafia’ Cinema

Segment: 72:38–80:41

• Email from Listener:
  When’s the right age for an Italian-American kid to watch The Godfather and Goodfellas?
• Brett’s Rule:
  “Out of the womb” is appropriate for Godfather. Goodfellas is a “preteen” or teen milestone (77:25).
• Theatrical Indoctrination:
  Brett and John joke about Italian parenting rituals, such as having Godfather on loop and teaching “Don Corleone” as first words.

Quote:
“He should have that [Godfather] in his room always… the mobile is this [theme song].”
— John, 74:00

5. Comedian Langston Kerman Interview: Masculinity, Names, Marriage, and Misanthropy

Segment: 119:50–142:30

• Background:
  Langston Kerman shares that he holds an MFA in poetry, briefly taught high school, and only turned to stand-up because poetry “got girls” (121:29).
• Philosophy on Cleanliness and Gender Roles:
  Langston admits to being “the cleaner” at home (“I don’t do physical labor and I do a lot of cleaning…” – 132:57), while his wife (a lawyer) handles the handy-work and cooking, flipping traditional expectations.
• Learning from Life:
  Langston riffs on teaching, relishes the collapse of mean or wayward students, and muses on life’s brutal symmetry (“There are a few kids where you go like, damn, this is what I thought you’d be.” – 127:07).
• Authenticity & Chasing Emotions:
  “I don’t think you’re living a full life if you’re not bringing rage out of other people.” – Langston, 131:10
• Sports Loyalty Debunked:
  Loyalty to sports teams equated to “cheering for laundry,” with both host and guest discussing the transactional nature of professional sports.

Quote:
"To be a fan of a team is to be a fan of the owner of that team. And never have I met an owner where I’m like, that dude’s awesome…”
— Langston, 141:28

• Words of Wisdom
  “Never stand still on an escalator. There’s too much life to be had… keep moving, sister.”
  — (Langston’s closing advice, 142:31)

6. Notable Bits & Comedy Highlights

Scattered Throughout

• Self-Deprecating Ownership:
  John, Brett, and Brady regularly own up to their failings, from failing at basic car maintenance to missing social cues.
• Insults Get Recycled:
  Arguments about “man cards,” car know-how, and the right to be called a car guy or not fill much of the first hour.
• Frank Stallone, Rocky References:
  Frank Stallone and Sylvester Stallone pop in as comedy impressions; listeners are amused by "Far From Over" as a children's anthem in an Italian household (84:16).
• Videos Teased For "Holmberg After Dark":
  The show’s end-of-year event promises to top itself with wild listener-submitted videos, the “real highlight” according to John (05:11, 119:21).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Windshield Wiper Fail:
  “So I’m driving around pretty proud of myself with two plastic pieces over the actual blades going, they’re not working great…”
  — John, 14:35
• On masculinity faux pas:
  “I have pictures. Well, you couldn’t see over the top to see. You don’t see color—first of all, that’s one thing we should all know about Brady. Black, white, it’s just a Jeep to him.”
  — Brett, 12:02
• Car Guy Irony:
  “Be grateful there’s guys like me. ... And I’m going to throw Brady in there because he can’t reach the engine.”
  — Brett, 18:36
• Pageant girls:
  “There isn’t a normal guy in the world that sees a pageant girl and thinks she’s stable. We all… know you’re nuts.”
  — John, 55:01
• Dating and body count:
  “She can’t keep track. And some of it was transactional. Financially. That’s a little different.”
  — Brett, 62:56
• Family cinema habits:
  "His first words should have been ‘Michael, I have a question.’ Or, ‘I know it was you.’ Those have to be the first words."
  — John on raising an Italian child, 75:25
• Langston on life:
  “I think women are people… if you can bring rage to someone, you’ve elicited emotion, you’ve existed.”
  — Langston, 131:19
• Unvarnished advice:
  “Never stand still on an escalator... keep moving, sister.”
  — Langston, 142:31

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Windshield Wiper Story & Car Guy Shaming: 05:35–42:31
• Pageants and Superficiality: 47:25–59:10
• “Body Count” Relationship Dilemmas: 59:10–72:38
• Ask an Italian (“Godfather” Indoctrination): 72:38–80:41
• Langston Kerman Interview: 119:50–142:30
• Holmberg After Dark Videos & Announcements: 119:21, 144:12
• Quotes & Comedy Bits: Sprinkled throughout (see above for examples)

Tone & Delivery

The episode maintains a rollicking morning show style—fast, irreverent, self-mocking, and conspiratorial. Language is blunt, sometimes crude, but never truly mean-spirited; the crew lampoons themselves, their listeners, and Arizona culture with equal vigor. There’s a clear sense of camaraderie, punctuated by running jokes, affectionate roasting, and the occasional moment of genuine introspection.

In Summary

If you love candid, comedic takes on the minutiae of adult life—especially the comedy of modern masculinity, car culture, and relationships—this episode is jam-packed with memorable stories and searing one-liners. Langston Kerman fits seamlessly into the chaos, offering up humble life philosophies and fresh comedic energy. The show's blend of laughter, vulnerability, and just the right amount of shock makes for a lively listen—full of moments you’ll want to quote, even if you missed the show live.