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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Byron
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John Holmberg
Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that? Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into MMP Guns where.
Brady
He'Ll get a fair offer and he.
John Holmberg
Can rest easy knowing it's not getting.
Brady
Into the wrong hands.
John Holmberg
Okay, but what if he lives out of state? Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It' really that simple. There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online@98kupd.com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday, which is sort of like a Thursday and a half this week. Nobody's coming to work with any serious intention tomorrow. This is great. I love three day weeks. We say four day weeks. What's wrong with a three day. What's wrong with a one day week? And they're just really busted out. I do that. A 24 hour workday and then just crush out the next six. Be fine with that. It's 5:45. Hi there, my name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Toledo. This the morning sickness day two of Palladio yesterday went swimmingly well, started off a little shaky but really hit its stride and in a big way hit its stride with a couple of the best songs I've heard in a long time, local or otherwise. They were great. So Platio's got a great start to another top. Two bands from yesterday scored Perfect tens across the board. Neither of them can be there tonight. Bastards. So we'll have to go with lesser thans. But we still had a good group yesterday. Third, fourth, and fifth. Yeah, so far. Yeah. Third, fourth, and fifth are going to be really important to us this year because. And I'm going to say the guy that. That did that. What was the name of the band that Brent's in? Reckless Eden. Reckless Eden. That's right. Oh, no, no, that's not Witness protection.
Brady
Oh, that's right.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Witness protection. Don just reclusied. Witness protection is the guy who sends Brett all those horrible videos. He's one of the contributors of that. That was the guy who put that together. I always thought he just sat in a dark basement watching dark web videos all day long and. And that was the end of it. Like, you know, he just, you know, masturbated to people getting hurt and then went. Turned the lights that weren't really even on in the first place off and sat in a cold, cold corner like the Blair witch and then woke up and did it again tomorrow. Turns out he's pretty talented guy who's got. Who'd have known? But I'm also telling everybo he can't make it tonight. He's a fraud. And everything was AI. There's nothing about him that was real. He left a nice letter with an expert.
Brady
Looks a little questionable.
John Holmberg
It's an excuse. It was a long excuse why nobody could be there. And it's like you son of a. He said he'll be there next year. It's a year. We might. Brady's not going to be here next year. You know, they think we're going to be here. Forgot about that. Crying out loud. We can't count on next year. We're daytoday. It's like an alcoholic, this show. It's like every day is a special gift way.
Byron
Maybe.
John Holmberg
Maybe do Plato in June or something. We can figure something out. We got to figure out if the hospital Brady will be dying. And we'll. We'll have us in there with a. Yeah, maybe we'll just do by then. We'll have holograms and stuff. It'll be neat. The future last night. Speaking of the future in the past and all that stuff. I don't know if you guys watched for a little bit the football game shy had no interest in either team. So I'm watching the niners for a minute. I'm like, the Carolina Panthers might as well be a college team or a Canadian team when they're on. They're everything I don't want to watch about football. And I don't know why. I think it's. The uniforms are sleepy. They haven't been good a lot lately. Just kind of. And I have no. I don't care if they win or lose. They do nothing. So I kind of tuned out and it flipped over to the Everybody loves Raymond 30th anniversary, right? Or I guess that. Yeah, it's the anniversary of the 30th year since everybody Loves Raymond was on the air, which is just unbelievable. And they brought out Ray Romano and Patricia Heaton and Brad Garrett and the kids that were on there, they didn't look so good, but Brad Garrett and Patricia Heaton and Ray Romano all looked fantastic. And it got me thinking about how we preserve differently than we used to. Because I remember when I was a kid, they did a thing with Lucy, Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. I don't remember if it was on Carson or whatever. It was like 15 years after their show was over and they're showing some clips, might have been like early 80s. I don't remember when Desi died, but Desi, it was like the two of them, ever since they went off the tv, just ate, you know, rocks and gargled glass. Like, they're just like, Lucy, what did you think of this scene? They'd show the scene of her. Oh, Ricky. And she's going on and on. And then like, Lucy, when you remember filming that, she's like, yeah, when we filmed that, I was. I was 31 years old. And I'm like, Jesus Christ, it's been 10 years. What happened to you? Desi comes out, he's just liver spots all over. Many memories together. I don't remember Nono Deng, a guy, it's like, what in the hell happened? Now 30 years goes by, the clips come up. Yeah, they look younger, but they look better. Like, Ray and Patricia Heaton look better today than they did in the show 30 years ago. And back then. And you know what it is?
Brady
You put him through the old Hollywood grinder.
John Holmberg
No. So I went, I looked. Why are we aging better? Why are we preserving so much better? Why is a 60 year old Ray Romano's gonna be 68 next week or next month? And I'm looking at my. He looks fantastic. Why? Two things. Cigarettes, Lead. We took lead out of gasoline and that's like contributed to our bodies reacting so differently to aging. Lead. They used to drink Jack Daniels and unfiltered Camels. All the constantly just smoking Say, that's more pure. Yeah, well, sure, I guess, if you want to. Yeah. But I mean, I even looked up the clip of Lucille Ball talking about the old Lucy. She was even, like eight years when I saw her removed from the Lucy show. And I think it was on Carson. Not. Not the thing I was watching. But I remember when I was a kid, I think it was on Carson, and she sat there and when she laughed, I just remember going, is that. Is that the same woman that we laugh at every day in that black and white show? At 1. And she sat and she just said, johnny said something. Oh. Oh, yeah, that was a rough one there, Johnny. Like, when did she turn into Krusty the Clown? I had to. I'm taking a bath on this one. So it bodes well for us as aging goes, because then, you know, when you look at Wilford Brimley and you realize that I am now five years older than Wilford Brimley was when he filmed the Natural. Oh. I mean, that in itself is enough to say, okay, something's going on. We're all getting fatter, which helps wrinkles. That might be a thing. But the natural fillers, they said that lead. There was lead in a ton of stuff back in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and gasoline was a big one. And we had lead in our. And everything. And they removed lead from everything. And I think it. I think it fixed a lot of asbestos, too. Asbestos was a thing. Yeah. All that stuff they didn't care about cigarettes that nobody was warned about. But there's Ray. Oh, we had a great time. The show was always fun. That's right, Raymond. We had a wonderful program. Like, they sounded looking like, Brad Garrett's a little gravelly and he smokes, but it was. I mean, he's 66. Patricia Heaton looks amazing. She's in her 60s. Lucy, I looked it up, was 62. Oh, you know, Ricky, I had a great time on the show. Anyway, it's time to go.
Brady
Lived in a lead house.
John Holmberg
There was episodes of those game shows. I watched the old ones and Super Password with Bert conveys on. And occasionally Lucy was a guest on that Way past Lucy's Relevance. And she did Super Password and she was like, mean, and she looked a thousand. And I remember looking once and she was like 72. My dad just killed something at 8,000 elevation and carried it down. The picture of this. I don't know what that thing was. An elk or something. Yeah, he. And he text me, he's 78, and he just. I'm like, we're doing something different, something ain't right now. It's growing all sorts of bubbles and weird stuff in our body that we'll never control. Whatever we are currently doing, but it's different. So in a weird way, I guess we've got that. So at least we're all going to look better in the coffin because Lucy didn't look good living the last 10 years.
Brady
You just think I look back at those old. Even the high school pictures, I know you could say something about what they're wearing, but like I look at my.
John Holmberg
Grandfather when he was 61 and I was 30. Yeah, it looked ancient then. It's weird. But yeah, watching that last night, that's really the takeaway was. And that and the fact that Everybody Loves Raymond was a great show but not iconic at all. I don't remember anything from it. Like when they were showing clips, I'm like, oh yeah, the girl that ate the fly. That's a funny episode. I have not thought about that since I first watched it back in like 1999. It's a great show, was hilarious. But you know, Seinfeld, you could pick episodes, all sorts of stuff. Everybody Loves Raymond as a. If you start quoting that, huh? Yeah. Oh, that was the episode where Robert and you remember him talking about he was in the car and they poured jelly in it. Okay. No one remembers it, but it was, you know, it was an interesting. It was a trip down memory lane where everybody actually looks better. Patricia Heaton had some work done, but good work. So it wasn't so bad. I think Ray did too. It's interesting. And then the people who aren't there, you know, died. Peter Boyle, the dad, Doris Roberts, the mother, they passed away a few years ago, but they were like 80 when the show was on. It was interesting. It was a very interesting. So the kids aren't holding it together too well. They were all real brothers and sisters. So if you remember, there were twins and the girl, okay, they were the Sweetens and Jody Sweeten, their sister was on Full House. So they had this like acting family of kids. So the two boy twins, one of them killed himself a few years ago and then the, the sisters gotten bigger.
Brady
Got a little fluffy.
John Holmberg
She's bigger. Yeah. But they were, you know, they were a real depressing part of the 30th reunion when they drug out the twins and one of them killed himself. And then like there was like a 10 minute thing for suicide hotline on the comedy show and I'm like, this is no good. Like going to A Shinedown concert. Yeah, it was exactly, exactly what it was. Oh, we're going to talk about suicide. The whole time I thought it was a funny show. I would rather not talk about suicide right now, Raymond. If we could just skip it. If we could double expose the twin kid and make it seem like his twin still here. That's a good idea, Robert. It was good though. But I. I couldn't get over that they used to do, you know, one of the stupidest shows that's ever lived on television and made legends. These people, this whole family needs to give their money back was Roy Rogers and Tail Evans way back in the day. I loved old TV when I was a kid and I've recently revisited that in the last few years. The old Roy Rogers show, which just proved our grandparents were dumb because weird. It's so weird. They had. It was an old western where occasionally people would drive except Roy. And like, he would get on his horse and ride places. And then another dude would get in a 1943 Jeep and he'd go somewhere. I'm like, what? What year? And then Roy would ride into town sometimes and there were like bars and like people driving in, in wagons and stuff. And Roy would get offered a ride and be like, no, they take off in the Old west and like, you, no, no, you're not in the old West. You're po. And they talk about World War II sometimes. Like, why is he still on a horse?
Brady
I don't even know. You know, a couple times. You see, it doesn't feel like it's a. It's like a reality show.
John Holmberg
I don't know what the hell that.
Brady
They'Re living at home. But then crime happens.
John Holmberg
Well, yeah, they'd have like a crime and then they go out and solve it on the horse. Like the crazy guy with a horse. And there were other people who were still stuck in like 1903 and then the rest of them had moved on to. That's when we come back from the war. He hasn't been the same. I'm like, what war? Like the Civil War? The Spanish American? Nope. WW2. And they mentioned the Germans. And I'm like, how dumb, how literally dumb was everyone to just go, that's fine, we'll accept that? It's like, why is he still. He's in a city with car. They had a car dealership in one of the episodes. Like the, like, even the writers were like, roy, maybe if Roy rides by a car dealership, he'll think, I'm. I gotta get rid of this horse. New Oldsmobiles are in early this year. The words you say sometimes.
Byron
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John Holmberg
Holmberg's morning sickness. But Trigger became a star.
Brady
Were they in Burbank? Where were they?
John Holmberg
Well, they had to be in Hollywood. Yeah, I have no idea. Well, no where they were where they were supposed to be. The fake thing. Now they were in some fake city in like Iowa. But they had this weird sidekick and he drove his Jeep and his Jeep had a name and it was our grandparents were stupid and they Ate lead and they smoked like crazy and they died looking terrible.
Brady
Before that, their parents ran out of the theater when they saw a movie.
John Holmberg
Oh, well, that was. Yeah, the first movies to see them. There's people on the walls and they're gigantic. My grandma. I've seen pictures of my grandma in the last year or so when I'm like, look at her. Did she ever have any different clothes? And she didn't. And I'm looking and I'm like, how old was grandma here? And I remember my aunt going, guess. And I'm like, well, I'm. I can do the math, but I'll throw a quick guess just on looks that she's 62, 46. She was 46 years old.
Brady
Look at the houses. Look at the closets were two by three.
John Holmberg
Well, my grandparents could come here for a month and a half. Both of them packed in one small backpack, briefcase. My grandpa had a pair of pants and a shirt on and a pair of pants and a shirt in the suitcase. And some underwear. Oh, and also occasionally some weird pajama thing that was so flimsy it would fit. My grandma had a T shirt, a pair of, like, sweatpants, the shirt she had on and the shirt she. And the pants she had on. And she would take off her pants and shirt, put on the sweatshirt and T shirt, wash that pants and shirt, and put it right back on. Every single day she wore the same thing. It was remarkable. And it worked. You know, casual. We could take him to restaurants and not be too embarrassed. But she was also, at that time, 60. She wasn't that old. It's weird. How many suitcase? One for both of them. One for both. And I'm not kidding, Brett. It was the size of, like, a kid's backpack for school. How long are they staying out here? Month.
Byron
Oh, my God.
John Holmberg
I know. I can't even go to Vegas for a weekend. And Matthias got two bags. I have to check back. Oh, me too. And. And they would every day walk from my house to Safeway to get what they wanted for dinner that night. It was about a mile and a half walk. They were in pretty good shape for it, and. But they'd pick the worst times ever to do it, which was right when Dobson High School was getting at like, 2:52pm they'd leave and then. Oh, the traffic coming out of that school is just. And the things they say. I'm like, what do they say? Oh, I would never repeat it. Bill, what'd they call you? Snowbirds. I'm like, snowbirds? Yeah. That's a thing. Assholes. They called us that. We were crossing the road. I'm like, jesus, what do you say back? Well, I just flip them off, call him a prick. That was his go to Briggs. But they, you know, then you go back and you realize that was like 1990. My grandpa was 68 and he was just gravelly voiced. It was like. It looked like he'd been drugged through a fire. It's amazing. So the good news is we're aging better. The bad news is we're aging into weirder things. So God knows what's going to get you, but at least you're going to be pretty. Your skin's going to be preserved. And also, I'd like to make the cry out before we start Palladio this year and get to the Brady Report that we can allow full frontal and full all. Full all nudity is allowed on broadcast television. And we should be allowed to cuss on the radio. I agree. All we want the fcc. I'm done with you. Because I saw on the news this morning a repeat story of it. Pictures of women whose faces were covered in their own menstrual blood. As some sort of a thing to say, it's good for your skin. If I can see a woman covered in period blood on her skin, I can see breasts and not be offended. I can see that my old argument to this was, if I can see a baby's ass running all over the place, a disgusting fat little tube of human infant. And they show those things naked all the time. There was a show the other day that did a close up on a baby being wiped. I'm like, come on. And if that's. If that's too much, not too much for us to see. I can see a nice woman's breasts and not lose my mind or over sexualize everything. And also I should be allowed to cuss. Because if you can watch women with menstrual blood on their face, you can hear the F word and not freak the F out. Yeah. Beauty influencers are encouraging skin care influencers and to save their menstrual blood for facial scrub.
Brady
Yeah. How proven?
John Holmberg
Proven. Nothing's proven. I mean, we do look better. So maybe if these ladies are doing it and it starts to work. But I. That is an immediate. Call me Wilford Brinley. I don't care how good I look putting that stuff. Can you imagine? No way. Coming home to Mathias tonight and she's got face. A blood mask. Yeah. All over her face. I'm like, where'd you get all that? Was that jelly? There's clots and chunks in it and stuff. What is that? Oh, my menstrual cup. I pour it on my face when I'm done. Like we're done here. Cordell and Cordell. Cordell and Cordell won't take the case. They don't want to be close to her. It's horrifying. And that's a thing on tv. And I saw it last night and I saw it again this morning. Not going home today? No. Just in case. Every time she starts cramping, do like the Bible says, only in reverse. You leave for seven days. I've said it once, I've said it a million times. The Bible's right about one thing for sure. It's the only science in the whole goddamn deal. When a woman's bleeding, she has to leave the town for seven days. And don't touch anything. It's in your book.
Brady
Maybe that's. Read it. When they left town. You got to leave town when you're doing it. And that's where they did all the facials in the case.
John Holmberg
Do whatever you want. You had to leave town. The Mary Kay party in the cave, they sent you out on. On. Maybe that's where it's like. Maybe that's where it was inherited. Like years down, we just get together and talk about facial creams because they had no options. Back in the day, the second you cramped, oh, my tummy guy would throw you in a wagon. They'd take you outside of the city limits and drop you off. And like, don't touch anything now. I mean it. If you touch something, they'd burn it. Now that would make America great again, you know, make the world great again. Make Afghanistan great again, you know, is the crad. And they built walls around their townspread and the ladies weren't allowed inside if they were bleeding. It was. It was lovely. It was a great gesture saying, you know, the ladies didn't fight back because if they did, they got it. They got it. And if they touched anything, they would pick that thing up and they'd light it on fire. That was when things mattered.
Brady
Maybe that's why Donald wants to someone do the remake of Bloodsport.
John Holmberg
It's a great movie though. A lot of guys with their shirts off. I'm into that. It's weird though, but they say that there's a group of people for the Federation of American Societies of Experimental Biology found that menstrual blood derived plasma can infect or indeed facilitate tissue repair and wound healing. So it's. You know, I'll take Neosporin. I. I'll. You know, if I gotta. If I got time. Neosporin's better to me than spread that.
Brady
On a band aid and put it over your boo boo.
John Holmberg
And then you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it on there like Vegemite and then put a little gauze over it. And evidently, it's got healing powers. I'd rather have scars. If I ever looked in my fridge and saw menstrual juice.
Brady
That's two things this week, that one. The facial blood. And then they're making pills out of the placenta.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, there might be some. Something to it. A placenta. At least it's not a rubber. Your fridge, like, what is that? Placenta pills. Well, at least it's been manufactured to look like something else. Some lady just reaching down there and dabbing like Fred Flintstone like she's Sherwin Williams and she's just painting her face. And if I get to see that on tv, then I get to see some breasts because I almost threw up. I almost called the.
Brady
You want an exchange?
John Holmberg
I almost called you. Yeah, if that's okay. To where it's like, you can see this. It's natural. What's more natural than a boob or a butt? Cans. Yeah. They freak out every time. Nipples on tv. But I can watch this. Lena Dunham. We need to have standards. Exactly. To have standards. Good ones. But, you know, good comes with bad sometimes. And you know, what if we had better breasts on tv. Lena Dunham's bravery of being nude, which I still say was the greatest moment the show ever had, when I pointed that out to a lady. Like, if you're calling someone who's naked brave, you're insulting them. Try it with your wife tonight. She gets out of the shower and go, oh, so brave. So brave to be naked. You. It's not a compliment, but every. Every magazine, every TV show, the Lena Dunham brave as ever.
Brady
Clapton say, you look so brave tonight.
John Holmberg
Never. No. Nope. You never once said, she's in lingerie. She's brave. I'm gonna get some. It's never been a compliment calling a woman who's trying to be hot brave is. Is the worst insult of all time. I believe I said that the first season girls came out. I'm like, why is brave, like, women are flipping out over bravery? Nude brave is a. You know, killing a. An Afghani in 2010, that was a brave. Like, being in war. Fat girl getting naked's not brave. It's not for television. Disgusting.
Brady
Bold.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And a fat guy getting naked running around has never been called brave. He's been called hilarious. Yeah. So anyway, if I can see menstrual blood on a woman's face on tv, I can see breasts. I'm growed up enough for that. So if you came home and opened the fridge and there's a cup of it in there, I'd go full old testament on the house. I'd stone her to death. And then I'd burn the house down. I'd go, 100. Robert Fisher killing everybody in the house. Yeah. Yeah. And I wouldn't even try to get away. I'd go, opposite of Robert fisher. I'm like, I did this for all mankind. I'd be on TV that night, and they'd be like, you know what? That's bravery. None of that Lena dunham stuff. This guy's a hero. You're free to go, sir. I don't need a lawyer. I think the judge is going to understand. So long as it's a man. Even a woman doesn't want that. Like, a good woman judge would be like, he's right. So knock it off. Your. Your period period juice is gross. Yuck. I just keep it next to the cranberry juice. Well, there was an incident this morning because I didn't turn the lights on to keep everybody happy, and I drank it. Oh, it's not cranberry. It's not cranberry juice. And I've got a uti. And now I never want to talk to you again. I still. My face looks pretty for you. You think I want to touch that face? You could wash with fire. And I don't want to touch your period face. It's gross. Knock it off. There's so many products out there. Ellen has a great facial cream. Just use hers. And it's not period Ellen. If then that's what's gonna start happening, then celebrity. Yeah, you do. That's illegal to sell that. And then celebrities are gonna start it, though, if it becomes a trend where you can start buying Cindy Crawford's period blood and well, Gwenis Paltrow be the first one stuff out. You're right. Quit being so gross and acting like we have to accept it. We can say something. Speaking of things that we have to accept. That's plato. It's coming up in seconds. We got a brady report that's gonna come up next. Yeah, Maybe by the end of it, we'll be rubbing period blood on go. It's not so bad. We got Palladio coming up. We're gonna do a Brady Report next, and then we're gonna get right to it. Palladio will close up today, and then tonight we head on down to Copper Blues downtown next to Stand Up Live. And we watched the five bands who were available to us battle it out for the championship. Even though we got two songs here, those guys were so good. We can just graduate them right onto the radio, I think, now. But let's just get right to who's going to win Playdoh. We'll find out next. Brady Report coming up. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98.
Episode Theme:
A humorous, irreverent morning show episode covering the first day of Playdio (a local band competition), musings on why people are aging better after John watches the 30th anniversary "Everybody Loves Raymond" cast reunion, and a no-holds-barred rant on FCC broadcast restrictions in light of bold menstrual blood beauty trends.
Main Discussion:
Catalyst:
“We took lead out of gasoline and that's...contributed to our bodies reacting so differently to aging...Lead. They used to drink Jack Daniels and unfiltered Camels all the [time].” – John Holmberg (06:11)
“...He would get on his horse and ride places. Then another dude would get in a 1943 Jeep…what year? …and they talk about World War II sometimes.” (11:09–12:57)
"If I can see a woman covered in period blood on her skin, I can see breasts and not be offended...I should be allowed to cuss." – John Holmberg (19:15)
“Cordell and Cordell won’t take the case. They don’t want to be close to her. It’s horrifying. And that’s a thing on tv. And I saw it last night and I saw it again this morning. Not going home today? No. Just in case.” – John Holmberg (20:31)
00:58 – 03:26: Playdio Day 1 recap, jokes on band & host attendance, unpredictable future
05:03 – 11:09: Why are we aging better? “Everybody Loves Raymond” Reunion and generational comparisons
12:47 – 17:44: Surreal Roy Rogers TV analysis, grandparents’ travel habits, family anecdotes
19:15 – 21:51: Outrage over menstrual blood as a beauty product, broadcast double standards
23:32 – 25:37: Placenta pills, nudity on TV vs. “gross-out” taboos, “bravery” for nudity, Lena Dunham jokes
Summary:
This episode of HMS oscillates from tongue-in-cheek Playdio competition banter to a sharp, comedic take on why Gen X and Boomers are "aging better," looping back around to a brash but humorous crusade against perceived media hypocrisy—asking why, in a world that now flaunts menstrual blood beauty masks, the FCC still polices language and nudity.
For listeners who missed it, expect classic Holmberg chaos: pop culture evisceration, personal anecdotes, and boundary-pushing rants, capturing the unfiltered energy that defines the morning show.