12-02-25 - Charorism Reacts/Emails - Medical Breakthrough As Japanese Man Has Developed Butt Breathing - Man Nearing Completion Of 27yr Goliath Expedition From S.America To Romania - Megan 911 She Needs DirecTV Password

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98 KUPD)

Episode: 12-02-25 - Charorism Reacts/Emails - Medical Breakthrough As Japanese Man Has Developed Butt Breathing - Man Nearing Completion Of 27yr Goliath Expedition From S.America To Romania - Megan 911 She Needs DirecTV Password
Date: December 2, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness features the crew (John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, and Megan) riffing on recent listener emails, reacting to new scientific innovations ("butt breathing"), exploring the nearly finished 27-year-long "Goliath Expedition" (a walk from South America to Romania), and reliving daily life annoyances – culminating in a humorous segment about Megan urgently needing the DirecTV password. The tone remains satirical, irreverent, and rooted in the group's characteristic banter.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Charity, Skepticism, and Big Numbers (01:52–09:24)

• John Holmberg shares personal stories about being involved in charities, expressing skepticism about how charity funds are used and distributed.
• Notes on how organizations often tout big fundraising numbers, but still miss targets and have questionable expenditure.
• Criticizes large salaries of charity CEOs and the commercialization of diseases, especially cancer.

Notable Quotes:

• "Cancer's as big a business as it is a disease." – John Holmberg (09:55)
• "Sometimes you do get punched. That's why I always try to find something that I will give money to and I make sure that it's a good cause." – John Holmberg (07:36)

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2. Medical Breakthrough: "Butt Breathing" (09:58–18:24)

• The team reacts to news of a Japanese researcher, Takanori Takebe, developing a technique for rectal oxygenation ("butt breathing").
• Initial childish laughter and disbelief transition into acknowledgment of the scientific utility, such as potential life-saving applications for patients unable to breathe normally (e.g., severe pneumonia, COPD).
• Discussion veers into the inevitable joke responses this story received online—most notably the fascination with whether it means people can "smoke weed" through their butts.
• Holmberg laments society’s inability to marvel at true innovation, instead defaulting to jokes.

Notable Quotes:

• "When you do stuff like that and you're like, oh, I invent a beautiful program to make it so we could breathe through other parts of our body to save lives. And then you hear, 'Can I smoke weed with my ass now?'" – John Holmberg (16:38)
• "But breathing is real. And no one marveled at it... all we think about is, 'Can I smoke weed with my ass now?' We're not worth saving." – John Holmberg (17:35)

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3. The Goliath Expedition – 27 Years Walking the Earth (23:06–34:51)

• Recap of the Goliath Expedition, where British adventurer Karl Bushby has been walking from southern South America to Romania for 27 years, avoiding all mechanical transport.
• The crew questions the point of such a journey, considering the isolation and the realization that no one may truly care about the feat after so long.
• Discussion includes skepticism about whether he stayed true to the walking (cheating with rides or flights), the hardships of traveling for so long, and the futility of expecting lasting acknowledgment for extreme personal achievements.

Notable Quotes:

• "You haven't seen anybody for a quarter of a century on a consistent basis." – John Holmberg (24:57)
• "So I can tell you, hey, I am John. I... did the Goliath Expedition. And you're like, wow, that's amazing. And then you turn to the next guy who goes, 'You hear about butt breathing?'" – John Holmberg (25:31)
• "If you're thinking about it, don't." – John Holmberg, after calculating the actual daily mileage (36:54)

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4. Listener Reactions and Audience Engagement (38:07–41:27)

• Listener emails and texts keep the flow comedic and interactive, fueling further jokes about the Goliath Expedition (e.g., speculating that "Toledo's dad" could be walking, the math of daily miles walked, and if multiple people truly care).
• A side discussion emerges about the show's influence, such as listeners who are deaf reading the show’s transcripts and feeling part of the audience.

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5. Domestic Comedy: Megan's 911 for the DirecTV Password (47:22–52:16)

• The last major comedic segment involves Megan urgently texting John for the DirecTV password, interrupting his day.
• Holmberg and the team riff on the trope of wives interrupting men at work for minor household issues, extending the joke to humorous absurdities (what if pro athletes had to stop games to text their wives passwords?).
• John shares his method for creating memorable (and snarky) passwords, delighting in the indirect revenge of using Megan's name as a codeword in less-than-flattering phrases.

Notable Quotes:

• "Is your day started busy? Okay, yeah, let me just put everything down. Let me just shut her down. This is what Megan needed help. I'm sorry, everybody." – John Holmberg (48:38)
• "It's essentially a phrase that basically says, 'Hey, and in this case, DirecTV, Megan's a C word.' It's awesome." – John Holmberg (51:43)

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Other Noteworthy Moments & Running Jokes

• Societal Cynicism: Recurring lament that modern society doesn’t appreciate true innovation (butt breathing), just looks for juvenile angles, or immediate self-serving benefits.
• Pop-Culture Callbacks: References to TV shows (Mad Men) and social changes, including how littering used to be accepted behavior and now is (mostly) taboo (52:40–55:31).
• Physical Challenges as Absurdity: Often, marathon exploits, "challenge" walks, or endurance records are skewered as pointlessly isolating or impractical, especially compared to the daily grind (29:44–31:10).

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Segment Timestamps for Important Topics

• Charity & Skepticism: 01:52–09:24
• Butt Breathing – Medical Innovation: 09:58–18:24
• Society’s Reaction to Inventions: 18:25–22:59
• Goliath Expedition Discussion: 23:06–34:51 (plus further call-backs through 41:27)
• Listener Engagement: 38:07–41:27
• Megan’s Password Emergency: 47:22–52:16

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Memorable Quotes (Speaker Attribution & Timestamps)

• John Holmberg on Cancer Charity:
  "Cancer's as big a business as it is a disease." (09:55)
• John Holmberg on Scientific Discovery:
  "Poor little Japanese doctor came screaming out of the lab, 'I am going to be hero, win Nobel Prize. What'd you invent? Butt breathing. Can you smoke weed through your ass now? Never mind.'" (18:06)
• John Holmberg on the Goliath Expedition's futility:
  "You go home alone. There's no point other than to be the guy that did it." (24:58)
• John Holmberg on Passwords:
  "It's essentially a phrase that basically says, 'Hey, and in this case, DirecTV, Megan's a C word.' It's awesome." (51:43)
• Byron on the expedition:
  "This clown did it for 27 years." (29:58)
• Bret Vesely on skepticism:
  "Who's the guy that came up with the Goliath [Expedition]? ... A moron." (28:04)

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Tone & Style Reflection

The episode is marked by playful ribbing, irreverence, and a balance of genuine social commentary and adolescent humor. The hosts maintain a conversational, sometimes absurd approach to current events, highlighting the challenge of serious discourse in a comedic, morning-show environment. Each topic, no matter how profound (e.g., butt breathing's medical promise or a 27-year expedition), is run through the “Holmberg’s filter” — no sacred cows, always a punchline.

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness achieves peak balance between commentary and comedy. The crew playfully dismantles societal reactions to news, celebrates and mocks human endurance, and finds humor in everyday life mishaps — perfect for those who appreciate sharp wit laced with a healthy dose of irreverence.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms at Designer Shoe Warehouse.

[John Holmberg]

We believe that shoes are an important part of, well, everything. From first steps to first dates, from all nighters to all time personal bests. From building pillow forts to building a life for all the big and small moments that make up your whole world. DSW is there and we've got just the shoes. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love at bragworthy prices at your DSW store or dsw dot com.

[Megan]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you? Thank you. Miles to nowhere. That's Katie and the Hobbs getting her done for another day for us only. Was there like 10 more shows left for the year? And then we'll have a brand new theme song start in 2026 by whomever wins tonight at Copper Blues downtown. Next to stand up live when we get ourselves a champion for Palladio this year. And I'm excited about it. We got some good contestants. Still no Bathsheba as far as I've heard. Still mia. Still AI.

[Byron]

Not gonna happen.

[John Holmberg]

Still mia AI. Thanks a lot. Positive Nancy screaming Naga.

[Brett Vesely]

Listen to you AI.

[John Holmberg]

He's sitting on his porch. Not gonna happen. It might.

[Byron]

I'm calling her out.

[John Holmberg]

Keep hope alive. We'll see. Toledo's been making the calls. Hit a nerve with the terrorism thing. People are not happy with it and it's only December 2nd. Said here's the plan. The best invention to get rid of the cuz QR codes made it so the hand pat to your pocket saying sorry, got nothing went away so now you can do it. Said you have AirPods in all the time. Whenever you get out of your car, put them in whether you're listening or not. Make eye contact with no one. Even if you're not listening to music, you can't hear anything. Your music's on. I gotta get better at just the straight out, didn't hear it kind of thing. Like, I. My head whips around when somebody's like, hey, or excuse me, I look so they know I can hear them. I got to get better at that.

[Brett Vesely]

Thomas Wells.

[Byron]

It.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? And then there's that. And do I want to go down that road already?

[Byron]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? It is funny.

[Brett Vesely]

You might as well start now.

[John Holmberg]

I did it with my friend Chuck Powell once. We're walking down the street, and the guy said. Because I know Chuck is a. You know, he's very nervous about liberal causes and homelessness and stuff like that. And he's. He doesn't know how to stand against it. Like, he wants to. He wants to be like, this shouldn't be. But he's like, oh, if somebody asks, I got to give it to him. Because I've. He's one of those people that says, I've got something, so I should have something. I should give it to someone who has nothing, not really knowing why they have nothing. And that's the big thing for me. It's like, if I give you something, you're gonna buy alcohol or drugs. I'll give it to a. A reputable charity, not just some guy on the street. And so we walked by and I pulled the Thomas Wells. The guy said, you guys got any cash? I'm like, oh, I got plenty of it, but none for you. And Chuck just goes, jesus, why'd you do that? Like, he's a deadbeat. If he. If he knows to walk around where there's people, that tells me one thing. He's got ambition and marketing skills. Put that to better use. If you're willing to walk up and down a street for two or three hours and wave to me. You know, two things. How to, you know, be presentable and friendly. That's marketing. And you've got hours to kill during the day. Put that better to better use. And that if I see somebody doing that, I just think, okay, they've got a habit that they need to supply, and they can't get a regular job because that habit keeps them from doing it. Drives me nuts, big time. I said this. My wife made me go in at. Oh, that's the. That's the one from Jim. Said I had to go to The Village Inn to get the oxygen tank kit. Village Inn's gotcha. It's brutal. Yeah. Everybody was emailing, and I'm like, we gotta stop this. Everything's a scam. I'm not saying everything's a scam. I'm saying that when they're forcing you to do it, we got to come up with a better way to say, no, thank you. The guilt. That's it. Yeah. Everybody's emailing me their. Their horror stories about all that stuff. It's not. I've been. I've been part of a couple charities. One of them doesn't even exist anymore. That Stroke Association. One's the one I always lean on. We raised $7 million in 2006. Five. 2005. Across the country. Phoenix. We had the biggest one. And they put me in charge of that thing saying, john's gonna run a marathon, run it with me. And a bunch of people got involved, and then their friends got involved. And we had a team of, I think 117 people come from just Phoenix. And it cost four. Was it 4,200 bucks to get on this? Like, you had to raise $4,200 to be part of the marathon. You got to do it in Kona, Hawaii. And at the end, they're like, phenix you. John raised the most. And they were. They had a place here. And the lady. The lady here was like, we're going to let you host it. And I'm like, I get to. Okay, so we get to Hawaii, and then every city there had at least like 60 people. There were like 40 or 50 cities. Place was packed. Like, this is amazing. Go up, host the event, Feel great. I got to read a number at the end. So we raised through this endeavor and through the years. It's over $7 million for this event. So give yourselves a round of applause. And everybody's like, waaah. They went nuts. I walk off the stage and the lady in charge was like, boy, like, what's wrong? This is a great event. She goes, yeah, we missed our budget by 3 million. Like, you guys are upside down on a 7 million dollar. Like, what?

[Byron]

There's a charity budget?

[John Holmberg]

How the did you do that? This was our big hit. And we. We had it budgeted at like $9.8 million. And I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. And shortly thereafter, they were kind of absorbed by the American Heart Association. And we did it all for the right reason. Everybody was involved. There were stories of people who survived strokes. It was 29 year old. It Was beautiful. Tons of them. And I did it three years in a row, like, thinking, we gotta make this better. And then after a while, I realized, oh, it's never gonna get better. It's not about that. It's about just big numbers that they can pile into your face and then walk away and say, yeah, we wanted more. We've been part of charities before where I dropped off a ton of canned food, a box truck full of canned food donations. And the place that I was dropping it off, the leader of that place said, we really could have used the money. Instead, now we've got too much food. Are you kidding me? I'm going to burn your building down.

[Brett Vesely]

I go sell the food then. All right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Start a grocery store. You're welcome.

[Brett Vesely]

Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

So sometimes you do get punched. That's why I always try to find something that I will give money to and I make sure that it's a good cause. That military assistance mission thing we're doing in a couple weeks up at the Franciscan, everything that you give goes back and you get to see it. That's my thing. I have to see it happening, see.

[Byron]

The families go through.

[John Holmberg]

I have to see the work. I just got an email from a guy that said, thank you about that, too. Said I need to thank you for all the. All your help with asking for assistance to the military families. People don't understand how desperate some of these military families can get, especially around this time of year. It goes on and on. He's a proud father, my son being in the usmc, he doesn't need help specifically. He knows a lot of his fellow marines are coming up on some tough times. The government shutdown really smashed a lot of these people this year, and they got to catch up. We've seen it in action. And again, I was the biggest skeptic in the world with why is our military asking for donations? Why would their families be in trick. They do. They need it. And, man, you go there and you're like, holy smokes. You can go online and check out all we're doing for them too. It's pretty great. It's. It's an awesome thing. And what they do is. And what Margie. Military assistance mission, she's been. Her story is incredible. And she wanted to make sure that it wasn't one of those, let's just pay everybody that's involved and get attention. It's not what it was about.

[Byron]

So I saw a void.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, in the process, a.

[Byron]

Lot of times of the families needing help, it doesn't come right away.

[John Holmberg]

Well, for this particular situation, she definitely was like, you know, Christmas is a problem for these guys. But she got involved after, you know, she lost family members in, you know, battle. And she just opened her eyes to say, I got to help these other families. And then all these other things started to pop up. She's like, wow, I can do a lot more than I thought. It's amazing. The military assistance mission is a great cause.

[Brett Vesely]

Somebody sent. Somebody sent over a link of just the. And Brady and I were talking about it a little bit off the air, but somebody sent a link of the CEOs of some of these chairs.

[John Holmberg]

Don't do that. Because here's the thing also, those guys have to make some money. But the bigger place gets.

[Brett Vesely]

But 5 million. $5.7 million.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

What for one of the. I'm not going to say, but one of the cancer donation places, man.

[John Holmberg]

The We Love Cancer center.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my.

[John Holmberg]

The churning business of cancer. And don't fool yourself.

[Brett Vesely]

7 million.

[John Holmberg]

Cancer's as big a business as it is a disease.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It is a. You know. You know that more than anybody, right? Yeah. You see that and you're like, my God, this is. And it's look for dogs. It's become the medical side of that. So you want. And everybody. I just want people to be able to feel free to go. I want to give what's inside my heart rather than force feed some machine. Anyway, I'll get back to all these emails in a second. You're all screaming at me. Then I saw a story about medical breakthroughs, and we're just not grown up enough as a society to hear it. They have invented. Calm down, Brett. They have invented butt breathing in Japan. That's right. That's a real thing. Life saving butt breathing. Yeah. Wipe that smile off your face. This is a big thing. This. It can help get oxygen to people who can't get oxygen the regular way. COPD or blood vessels are shortened by it. And I read the article and again, calling it butt breathing is the problem because I'm a child. So the only reason I clicked on this was to see if I could do it today. Like, I didn't realize it was an. I thought you can kind of talk your butt into, like, taking in some air. And then I'd be doing it all the time to you guys. So you got to change the name from butt breathing into, you know, oxygenation via anal something. I will turn it back into butt breathing. So this beautiful article, this guy named Takanori Takabi He's a Japanese guy and he's like, but the first art. Even the guy wrote the article. It's a girl. Says Takanori Takebi is on a mission to find out if people can breathe through their butts. All right, right there, you've tapped into my child, like, tendencies to laugh at everything. Now he's a stem cell biologist, and he spends most of his time developing lab made livers for organ failure. Genius. This guy, he's making phony organs and they're working. So he said when he had. His father had pneumonia and had to be put on a ventilator, he said, man, after seeing Covid and this and seeing how ventilators work and how invasive and damaging it is to the body, I had to think to myself, there's got to be a better way to get oxygen into the body. So we invented this thing when he took a look at how animals get oxygen through their skin, genitals, and sometimes guts. That's right. Some of them breathe through their balls. Wow. Fish. Freshwater fish called loaches swallow air and supplement their gill breathing in low oxygen water.

[Byron]

So they had a clown loach. Really?

[John Holmberg]

Did you? That sounds interesting. I'm sure he liked watching you masturbate.

[Byron]

He could see him breathe through.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I bet you he was breathing. I bet he was panting a lot. And I bet his ass was in play. The guy was a gastroenterologist. He's. This is one of the most renowned people in the medical world. And he says he. The intestinal tract that he studies also is rich in blood vessels. That's why enemas deliver medicine so easily to the bloodstream. They'll, you know, that's why you're not supposed to drink through your ass. You ever heard of the people who poured wine in their ass for a while? Remember that?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, dipping vodka.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because they were dipping them in tampons and putting them in their butts. And then the blood vessels soak it up because you got more than your intestine, you do in your body. So it says you can pass from your intestines to your bloodstream so it can oxygenate your bloodstream. They invented an enema treatment that sends a liquid through the rectum and then it goes all the way in there and it's loaded with oxygen. As it releases the oxygen to the body, you can exhale carbon dioxide as you absorb it. They did it with mice and pigs. Enemas was super oxygenated, rich liquid right in their ass. And they were okay. And it kind of negated the need for all this stuff. So I'm reading this saying. All right, it's childlike, but this is pretty amazing stuff from a dude who not only sits in a lab all day and studies gastroenterology, but he also invents organs. And he has computers build organs for people like Brady who need an organ someday. And it's like groundbreaking. What do you think? Print out a kidney the first he's working on that. This is a guy that you don't want to you don't want to discourage the dude who invented butt breathing for medical purposes with art. What's the first comment after the story? Does this mean we can smoke weed through her ass? Next comment I'm in, Buddy Kirby and.

[Brett Vesely]

Her friends are texting in with him.

[John Holmberg]

John Holmberg's morning sickness the 98 Kupd it's John Holmerg from the morning sickness and Football season is in full swing and underdog is the best place to get in on all the action. Playing on underdog is easy. Just pick whether your favorite player is going to go higher or lower on stats like rushing yards, receptions, touchdowns. This week I'm looking at my Steelers and I am selecting Darnell Washington to go higher than one touchdown and hoping that Lamar Jackson goes lower on rushing yards. Download the app today. Sign up with promo code HMS to score $100 in bonus entries when you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 +, 19 + in Alabama and Nebraska, 19+ in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. SE assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms_dfs_html for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800- gambler or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call the 24.7hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY 467-369-SICKNESS this one says imagine you can hook up all your friends butts to your hookah and you got only real bros can pull this off. There isn't a serious comment yet. All and here's the thing. These people read the story only because of the phrase butt breathing. Rather option good option to get drugs into your system probably. And then this one says let's call it boofing. Still haven't seen anything going. What an amazing achievement. There's already butt chugging this is awesome. The future is now. Then the deuce 75 says, can we reverse fart too? Oh, my God. Every inhale and exhale that I have is now going to be a high pitched fart. Will this change my breath? We're not a good enough society to have someone like Mr. Tenakavi working on stuff like this so we can save lives.

[Brett Vesely]

We're too. Just quit.

[John Holmberg]

Just stop. Yeah, go to the Circle K with your incredible stem cell research and your gastroenterology and just say, I tried. They're too stupid. When you do stuff like that and you're like, oh, I invent a beautiful program to make it so we could breathe through other parts of our body to save lives. And then you hear, everybody wants to just smoke weed. What exactly are you saving? What? What society are you putting all your energy and effort towards saving? Although I do have to admit, if I was on my deathbed and stuff, and I'm laying there and they're like, you're not getting enough oxy. We have a solution. What is it? Butt breathing. What? Save your energy. Don't laugh. Stop saying butt breathing. It's a fact. But breathing is real. And no one marveled at it. When this dude's like, this is pretty. Like, and we just went through Covid five years ago. Everybody was like, you get intubated and that's the end of you. That stuff is horrible. Once you have to get that done, you have to machine breathe for you, help you get oxygen. It's a disaster. And your body never really fully recovers properly. This guy invented a way that we're all better off if something bad happens to us and all we think about is, can I smoke weed with my ass now? We're not worth saving.

[Brett Vesely]

It now.

[John Holmberg]

Poor little Japanese doctor came screaming out of the lab, I am going to be hero, win Nobel Prize. What'd you invent but breathing? Can you smoke weed through your ass now? Never mind.

[Byron]

I hope that's how he found out.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe. But then he'd say it because it's genius.

[Byron]

I can't say that.

[John Holmberg]

No, that isn't how he found out. That is incorrect, Brady. He found out because he's a genius. And we look at genius. Thomas Edison never came out and go, behold the light. You don't let us smoke with that. Like, the idiots back then were like, they. We marveled at invention. Nowadays we immediately go, how much weed can I stuff in that? Nobody gets excited about anything. Driverless cars showed up. Not one person stood outside and said, this is amazing. Nobody. We don't care. Can I think? No. Now I can smoke weed while my car drives. You know one good thing, like Tesla. Like the biggest thing that Tesla owners say. Like one of the biggest. Well, I can drink and drive. You're not supposed to still, but I know like, four people with Teslas, and you ask them all, like, what is the best thing about it? Oh, I can drink. A drive. You can read because. Yeah. Oh, you see that on the freeways. I can get home pretty plastered and car gets me there.

[Brett Vesely]

You know?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it is a benefit. It is. You still have to drive it. I've driven my friend's Tesla before. Thing doesn't stop at red lights.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, doesn't?

[John Holmberg]

No. Oh, the newer ones do. There's a package you can buy, but the his doesn't. And it drives like it's drunk already. Like it hits the brakes, like it can't see it's. I mean. Well, you know what? I will say this. The person whose Tesla I was driving was Asian. So maybe it was just making him comfortable because it was driving crazy his style.

[Brett Vesely]

Wilson's that bad, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Well, he's Asian. Just like this guy who invented butt breathing. He's a butt breathing genius. But I still am not. If we're getting in a car, I'd be like, give me the keys. I'm driving. I am a genius. A gastroenterologist. Stem cell researcher. Yeah, but you can't drive. I guarantee you're a bad driver. It's true. I don't want to test your butt breathing thing when I'm in a hospital bed. Because I let you drive us over to the Circle K and we got into a ten car pile up. We don't marvel at anything anymore. And yes, everyone, you can eventually smoke weed with your ass. I'm glad you found that as the one thing to take from the story.

[Byron]

Put a gummy up there.

[John Holmberg]

Does this. Patrick, you came. Patrick Bray may have come up with the only question that is scientific and also ridiculous. Does that mean I can talk my wife into ass play? And technically it's a bj? Yes, because you've made it her breathing hole. And any breathing hole is a bj. And that goes for tracheotomies and everything. Anything you breathe out of that's a bj. Is Backdoor bongloads a good band name? I don't even know why I talk to you people anymore. I'll never. I won't. We won't get one comment. $10 says Brady tries to butt breathe with his CPAP tonight. Yeah. No. No question. CPAP owners will wonder. That is not how it works. Jason says if it can breathe, it can suck. You're all children. This man spent his entire life trying to make our lives healthier and better, and we just want to stuff weed in it.

[Byron]

Yeah. He comes out with the apparatus.

[John Holmberg]

Now we have an excuse to tell women, I'm just trying to help you breathe when I stick it in your butt. Explain yourself, Matthew. How is. How is jamming an item into the breathing hole helping her breathe? You sons of. If I was that doctor in Japan, I'd go. I'd go to the nearest sushi restaurant. Oh, and it's close. And I would become a waiter and be like, I used to try to help humanity, but they just stuffed weed in my invention over and over and over. Bastards.

[Byron]

This is the guy invented butt breathing.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, what's up, Tanaki? I make a world better place. I'm blood breathing.

[Brett Vesely]

Anal asphyxiation. Good band name.

[John Holmberg]

Anal asphyxiation's a great band name. It's a fantastic band name. Ass choke out. I go with that. Bottom line is we are no longer at all a society that deserves nice things. We just don't.

[Byron]

Said.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sitting in my car laughing like Butthead. God damn it, John, you said butt breathing.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm smoke weed in our asses. We're all Beavis and Butthead. That guy we need to be laug at, and he is getting a ton of credit, is the dude that did the Goliath Expedition is almost done. Do you know how many years it took? You know, the Goliath Expedition is. Goliath Expedition is a dude who walks from the tip of South America to Romania, through America, Alaska, without car, bike, train or plane. He walks 30,000 miles, essentially, is what he's doing.

[Byron]

It's his life. And how many people have done it?

[John Holmberg]

Like, two have tried it. He's the only one that's. You know how long it took him? 27 years. He's been doing this for 27 years. And he's finishing up now and.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds terrible.

[John Holmberg]

It's horrible. You end up in Romania. So you go. You. Tip of the tip of South America. You walk all the way up South America, walk up Mexico. Well, Central, then Mexico. Then you sneak into the United States, I guess, and then you walk up the US and you go into Canada, walk up that, across Alaska. You get to where Alaska and Russia just almost touch and you figure out a way to get to that. And there's no boats. So I mean, he might have swum, swam, whatever. However you get to that next island, he's on rush, and he bounces from here to there.

[Byron]

All.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't do anything.

[Byron]

So, yes, iceberg.

[Brett Vesely]

What's the point?

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty close. It's actually, you can. You can. You can roll out one of the military bridges and get from Russia to America.

[Brett Vesely]

What's the point?

[John Holmberg]

To say I did the Goliath experts. But. But nobody got to know you. The point being no one got to know you for 27 years. You don't have any friends to go home and go, did you finish that thing? You haven't seen anybody for a quarter of a century on a consistent basis.

[Brett Vesely]

Stupid.

[John Holmberg]

You go home alone. There's no point other than to be the guy that did it. And now he's got to figure out life at age 50. He's been at this since he was 27. It's half his life. And he goes, he's 53 or 54 now. And he's like, well, I'm done. I guess I'll go home to my. Well, my parents are. They're still alive? Nope. Both gone. Brother and sister. They forgot you. They haven't talked to you for 27 years. Okay, well, I guess I don't have any new friends. I gotta. You just got to start life all over.

[Brett Vesely]

For what?

[John Holmberg]

So I can tell you, hey, I am John. I. What do you do? I just finished the Goliath Expedition. I explained. You're like, wow, that's amazing. And then you turn to the next guy who goes, you hear about butt breathing. And that's a better conversation.

[Brett Vesely]

Smoke weed is your butt, bro.

[John Holmberg]

And this guy's standing there looking like, I I. What I've done is more impressive than going to the moon. Why are you guys talking about butt breathing? Because it's hilarious. Your stories are dumb. And he'd be out there. I met an Inuit family that took me in, and I had whale blubber. I smoke weed through my ass. Okay, listen to me. I'm more important than you. The Goliath Expedition. His name is Carl Bushby. He started in Puentes Arenas in Chile in 1998, back in the Clinton administration.

[Brett Vesely]

How many things have happened since 1998?

[John Holmberg]

And that's the reason it took him so long as a bunch of developments. He'd get to a place and there'd be like a war or a skirmish or something.

[Byron]

And in Russia, he was given a visa. He had to do the Russian part in 90 days.

[John Holmberg]

Well, because he was Going to be in Russia. Going to be in Russia for years. Russia is 12 time zones. It's four Americas. Think about that. It's huge. And he had to walk across it and a lot of it's mountainous and all that. It was years to get across there and then drop down into Romania is where he finished. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Rand makes a good point out for 27 years there is no home. Now what you're broke and stuck in Romania.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta write a book and you gotta find a place to get that started. His goal was to get it done in eight years.

[Byron]

Whoops.

[John Holmberg]

Took a little longer. Just a bit outside, a bit out. Yeah. He didn't quite make the eight year window, but after eight years he's like, well, I'm about a quarter of the way through. I guess I'll finish up. Made it through almost a third of it in the eight year time. But my God, it's just walking all the way across the earth.

[Byron]

So he hasn't finished?

[John Holmberg]

No, he's not done yet. He's getting there. September of 2026, he's got a window. He's nine months away. I mean, that's pretty much finished. Can we give him.

[Byron]

He's got to make it to hall England.

[John Holmberg]

Can we give it to him?

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Why? Nobody else has done this. Why? Good enough. Dude, you already what, 30,000 miles you want to get to 32,000? You're good here. We appreciate you. That's enough.

[Byron]

Who's the guy that came up with the Goliath?

[John Holmberg]

A moron. The first dude that noticed that Alaska touches Russia went, you know, you could walk this. And Pangea people, people who still talk about Pangea like it's something we're close to. He used to be able to walk all the way across. It was all one big piece of land, say, well, it's not anymore. And again, his story's probably amazing. I'm not going to read a book about it.

[Brett Vesely]

No. I'm Jay Cutler on this.

[John Holmberg]

What if he's a bad.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't care.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What if he's a bad writer and all of this is just a sloppy story he tells at the end. I'm gonna be the worst. If at the end even he realizes these stories aren't very good. And he was. It was before the Internet really got going. He started walking and all his friends had to go like, dude, we hate you. You're not gonna. You'll be back in a couple weeks. He's like, I'll show you. What woman did he do this for? And the Worst part is he was trying to probably impress abroad, who was 25. She's 52 now.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna go back and go, I did it for you. And she'll be like, huh? I'm sorry I got fat while you were gone. Did they all get fat? Yeah, they did. You're the only one that stayed skinny because you wouldn't sit down.

[Byron]

He's the inventor of it. The Fat of the Goliath Expedition.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. He's the guy who came up with the idea. And then a couple people tried it while he was doing it, and they quit, like, a day or two into it, like, oh, Jesus, walking sucks. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Have you ever tried to walk like camel? We did the trails together, three of them.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In one day we did North Mountain, Squaw Peak. It used to be called that. And Camelback. In one day. That was enough. The next day sucked.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I was.

[John Holmberg]

And what'd we walk? A couple miles. Yeah. That was really.

[Brett Vesely]

That was one day. This clown did it for 27 years.

[John Holmberg]

Now imagine we do that every day for 27 years. And you know what that would amount to? Let's say we did five miles. I don't even know how to do the math. It wouldn't amount to much of nothing except for people going, why are you doing this? And you're walking through the cruddiest parts. It's not like you get to walk to Hawaii or any of the islands he walked. You know, the coast of South America is probably pretty nice. And then you get any but Mexico, look. And then, you know the worst parts of California. And then you get up to the nicer parts. Oregon's probably nice. Canada's okay. Gets cold.

[Byron]

Oh, then you gotta walk to cross over the one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

While it's frozen. That's the only time you can.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta angle up to Alaska. You can't just go down the coastline and walk the edge. You gotta kind of angle up an end, and that gets really cold as you go north. Then walk across Russia. It's never nice in Russia. I've never seen one video of Russia and a sunny day. It always looks like it's winter in Russia. Never. When's the last time you saw Russia? Went well. Looks like a beautiful day.

[Byron]

I gotta get there.

[John Holmberg]

Whenever Vladimir's on tv, it's cloudy and it's not because of him.

[Brett Vesely]

Is his real name David Banner by any chance?

[John Holmberg]

He's the Incredible Hug. He's Just walking says, is it me or does it sound more fun to dive to the Titanic on a homemade sub than walking for 27 years? 100% if you're gonna do. At least one has an ending that people care about. They'll try to make a documentary. Think of that, though. The cost of the documentary is. Is going to be 27 years worth. You got to have people in all sorts of guys quitting like crazy. Retiring. I was your videographer for a while, but I'm 58 now. I'm going to retire early. Here's your. Here's your film. Son's got to go home and edit his own document. It's going to be terrible.

[Byron]

You find out he stopped and paused for about four years in one place.

[John Holmberg]

Probably 27 years. He had a conflict for a while that he couldn't get around in a couple of places that he had to stay. And, like, there was like big trouble. So that's why it went from eight year plan to 27. Brutal. Just terribly stupid.

[Byron]

Married four times.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Maybe met a nice lady, settled down with her for a second. Does it count? And you know what's going to be the worst part is when some jackass. Because we can't have nice things at all. We can't even give this guy credit for doing most of it. Somebody goes, I gave him a ride. He like, he did 30 miles in my car. And they'll be like, it's negated. It's not.

[Byron]

He was in a snow cat for.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he got a little help. At one point, a guy goes, you know, I have a prop plane. We can get right through this. Like, yeah. Would you tell anybody, hey, buddy. No, of course I won't say a word to get you across. Nobody's ever going to hear of you anyway. You're going to be eaten by bears. And then you see on the news, he's finishing. I thought he'd be eaten by bears. I'm telling everyone I flew him from Manuschkich to Mishnichkich. Our cities are just sound. I got on prop plane. I fly him.

[Byron]

For a pair of blue jeans.

[John Holmberg]

He gave me blue jeans. I give him plane ride. He's a fraud. Not a fraud. Just one plane ride. I still walk 30,000 miles. 30,000 minus 80. Okay, let's not be crazy. So, yeah, this poor bastard. Somebody's going to rat him out because the world rats out. Someone in Peru gave him. Right early on, probably. It wasn't even, like later. He's like, I can't do that. Again. I can. I can never cheat again. So he's probably some hitching. He was down there in like, Peru, and it got a little like the elevation got up there, and he started breathing funny. Because I give you.

[Megan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

You had like, I need a ride out of this. It's Machu Picchu. Place is a.

[Byron]

Your nose is bleeding.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is it? You need to ride. I do. I need a ride. Okay. Gideon. And then that guy's gonna rat him out 22 years ago. I give him. Right. He frowned. Not a fraud, but we don't marvel at anything. That's a marvelous achievement. Even if you made it halfway, I'd be like, jesus Christ, that's crazy. 15,000 miles, that's pretty good. You're going for 30, but, hey, I got to give it to you. 15 is a pretty good place to stop. Millie Earhart couldn't fly a plane without crashing. This dude walked it. He should get some credit, but I don't want to hear a story. He's got too many stories. 27 years worth. And he's probably a chatterbox because he hadn't talked to anybody for a long time or.

[Byron]

Yeah, or there's people that joined him. Had to have.

[John Holmberg]

Think of that. If I. If I dropped you on the planet and the last time I saw you was 1997. What's he been up to? Yeah. What have you been doing? Well, you try to start telling me stories, I'm like, jesus Christ. It never ends with this guy. He's got too many stories.

[Byron]

You ever been to. Yes. Ever been to a.

[John Holmberg]

Ever been to Africa? No, I skipped Africa. Did you really walk the Earth then? Well, I mean, I didn't want to get killed. Risked it with the bears up in Russia, but Africa's horrifying. Ever been to a Turkish prison? Yeah. Yes. My wife and I were in Paris last year. Have you ever been. I walked it. Dumb. We got through most of everything in about two and a half weeks. I was there for four years, just walking around, lazy. Anyway, we're gonna go breathe some stuff through our ass. It's terrible, and I wish we were better, but we're not. So the Goliath Expedition, and now some. Some other idiots gonna do it and, you know, try to break the 27 year mark. And that's the record. I said, my guess is that guy got married and about two days later said, you know what? I'm going for a walk. What if it's Toledo's dad? That makes a lot of sense. I need milk. I'm gonna go For a walk. Then he pops up 27 years later. Is the boy dead yet? No, he's doing well. Damn it. This guy says 30,000 miles in 27 years. Comes out to about three miles a day. I think I've traveled more than that guy in the last 27 miles.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but thinking about that. Yeah, that's ridiculous.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how to do math that fast, Kyle. But if that's accurate, this dude sucks. Every time I play basketball in the backyard, I keep my phone in my pocket and I have my own little games. And then I look at the end, I'm averaging about five miles a day just running around in the backyard. But, you know, it's just on a basketball court. I'm not getting five miles from home to the five mile mark. But I feel pretty good about that. So in 27 years, if I do that pretty much every day, I've gone around the world a couple of times. I think that's bad. I hope that math is wrong for his sake. So if you're thinking about it, don't.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not Shane from Kung Fu. He's just walking the earth.

[John Holmberg]

I'd be more impressed if you, like, did a motorcycle ride across that. That would be. Hey, that's pretty neat. And it would only take a couple years and you get good stories that way and you get done with it.

[Byron]

Yeah, I think I'd burn out pretty quick.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. When we started this show here in.

[Byron]

Phoenix, Gotta go to flag.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he was. If I walked to Flagstaff, I'd kill everyone in Flagstaff. When I got there, I just opened fire. Like, I'm miserable. Our show started three years after that dude got. He was like. He was like, let's see, about 130 miles from his starting point. Guy had walked. He'd walked from here to like maybe Page.

[Byron]

And we're still not done.

[John Holmberg]

And he's still not quite finished. What's gonna finish first, this show or that guy? Hopefully us. Yeah. Who paid for this? Was it. Is that why those people. It goes back to terrorism? Is that why we're getting the bells rung? Are they raising money to get this guy from A to B? Who's paying for this? And he's got no retirement. He's gonna have to start walking again.

[Byron]

He's got his military money coming in.

[John Holmberg]

Is he a military guy? I didn't see that.

[Byron]

Man. This.

[Brett Vesely]

That. That clown's been walking longer than this show's been on the air.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, by three years. And he's not done. What if he's listening to us the whole time, I just kept him walking. Mender says, that's even more impressive that you guys, that this guy did that. Then you have a deaf guy that somehow discovered your show. Mender the blind guy. We were talking about our deaf listener Joshua, who hit us yesterday with the idea that this show is transcribed somehow on his phone and he gets to read it every day. Is this him?

[Brett Vesely]

No, that's transcript of yesterday, part of yesterday's show.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you printed out some of the transcript. So it doesn't give him the full.

[Byron]

Doesn't say who it does.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't tell you who's talking. The transcript just says, ellen's got nice skin for a six year old woman. And Portia de Rossi, that wife of hers, is even better. So they start talking about Ellen's new product and I'm like, you know what, let's give that a try. Ugly broads with good skin probably sell a better product. I'm writing a book. This is great reading. And then I say, it's salmon sperm. First off, I didn't know salmon did that. Second, how do you get that? Third, who's the dude who put this on his face and said, I think it's working. And this one says, why would you have ever been under. You said something that didn't transcribe you saying, have you ever seen a salmon spray his eggs? And I said, why would I have ever seen that? Clouded. Yeah. Okay, well, anyway, no differentiation of who's doing it. That's how this guy reads our show and he loves it.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

And who told the deaf guy, you should listen to this? He's like, well, I can't wait, no radio. You should read it then. Like, why was he even interested in the radio? Why would a deaf guy go, what's on the radio? But he found us. Did he go deaf? Wow. I need all the answers I can get. Just doesn't make any sense. He emails and talks about the show with me that he read yesterday. He's a day behind because he's reading it. Does that count towards ratings? That's got to count. That's got to count.

[Byron]

Like that should get a super tone.

[John Holmberg]

Like a hundred thousand people. It should count as if we've got one. If we're so powerful that we converted a deaf person to a non visual medium as his entertainment. Come on, that's amazing. Charlie was deaf, but he had hearing aids. This guy is fully like, can't hear, has to read the show. Who told him, dude, are you Listening like who grabbed his hand with the Ellen Keller things you gotta listen to. Does he read lips? Still no help here. But he's our deaf listener and he's impressive. More so than the 27 year walking guy, as he has been dubbed by Alan Tuberville. Walking douche. This one says. John, there's a part of this says he didn't walk the entire 27 years. He'd walk for weeks at a time and then fly home for a little while and then fly back and start where he left off. Just wasted his life. That is a waste of life. And if you fly back, you're starting over.

[Byron]

I'm going to put two months in.

[John Holmberg]

You can't pause the clock on that. It's a non stop deal.

[Byron]

I think you can.

[John Holmberg]

No you can't. Now it doesn't count at all because now that's the same as what Kyle was saying. Well, I've walked 30,000 miles, just not in a line.

[Brett Vesely]

Be nice. It's Thriller's dad. That's why it took so long.

[John Holmberg]

Hahaha. Let's see if we can get Thriller on a Goliath Expedition of his own and just get him to walk to the Circle k up on McDowell and 52nd street, grab us some cokes and come back. How long do you think the Thriller Goliath Expedition would take?

[Brett Vesely]

Look how long it took him in a car.

[John Holmberg]

Christ sake. How long it would take Thriller to walk from here. I bet you it would take a full day for Thriller to get us coax and get back here. The Goliath Expedition for thrillers happening in 2026. It's a thing. And we'll put times on it where if he gets back in this amount of time and we'll give him a thousand dollars. If he gets back in this amount of time we'll give him like five grand. I'm putting first first. It's at least 10 hours to get Thriller to walk all the way to that Circle K and back. He wears out real easy and he falls down a lot. Hilarious. And then you guys, you listeners have to drive by and try to coax him into cheat rides or getting on the handlebars or something. Look for that in 2026. The thriller Goliath Expedition is coming and it's just, I can see where he's got to end up and. But he's got to come back. That is literally the 30,000 miles. I'm gonna pick it on a rainy day.

[Byron]

The wrong one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And if he, I swear to God, if he Comes back with regular coke. Doesn't count. He's got to do it again. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. I bet you he'd do it. I'm just walking to his car and stuff takes a long time.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh man, does it ever.

[Byron]

It gets out there pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. I mean it's too.

[Byron]

When you put the music on.

[John Holmberg]

Well, when you play the music it gets pretty good pace so it kills a lot of time. But you can get through the whole six minute song. Yeah, you get through almost the whole song. I can get to my car before Michael starts singing. We're into the second verse. By the time Thriller's in his ride.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh yeah. Vincent Price is laughing.

[John Holmberg]

By the time he makes it to the door. Oh, if he walks to his car and back. You're here in Vincent's part.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Darkness falls across the air. And then as he's coming in. Yeah, this is the. We've got it at a minute 51. I bet you to his car and back. He. This, this runs out. There's no way. And he has to have that in his earbuds the whole time he's walking, just on a loop. Maybe it'll keep him up on like a beats per minute. The Thriller Goliath Expedition is happening.

[Byron]

Should we get Annie doming down there to make. Make him up on the wall.

[John Holmberg]

We can have Annie come down and do Thriller makeup too. The Goliath.

[Brett Vesely]

I gotta teach him to do the dance though too.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't need to do that. He does it on him.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's do this.

[John Holmberg]

Look, all you have to do is turn them sideways, the hands in the air. Maybe get a couple little hands. Yeah, you gotta get the move for the most part. His legs are already doing it. I'm all over it. It's 7:28. Tonight we're doing our glorious Palladio live band Battle. All the the finalists for Playdoh that were which we tried to do it last Tuesday but none of the bands could get together. Two of them were sick. A couple of them were out of town.

[Brett Vesely]

We wanted them broke up 20 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

One of them, One of them hasn't been a band since the Goliath Expedition started. But yeah, so we got our. We got them set up. We got a good group that's going to meet out tonight. John Gordon's band which surprised us with an entry. They're in it. They're really good. And hopefully DJ Bathsheba the alchemist will.

[Brett Vesely]

I Don't think that's gonna happen.

[John Holmberg]

I don't, I don't want to put any more negativity on it. Brett. I think we can talk her into it with a little sugar.

[Brett Vesely]

Wish we get Sanjay to get back.

[John Holmberg]

From with the way that was one. But we'll see. Whatever we get, we get and it's going to be great. So we're very excited about that. That's happening tonight at Copper Blues downtown. Get going about 6:30. So if you want to get there a little earlier and everything else, I want everybody to have to like drop off a couple bucks on the way in if they feel like it. There's a humane society thing which we all love and I'll be part of. And again, before we get on any further, speaking of my love of dogs, one of our regular listeners and a guy I've known since junior high named Cranston Munger lost his pup last night. So cookies all abound for his French bulldog, Darla, who he had to let go on Thanksgiving weekend. That's no fun either. So to Darla, everybody. Hug your pets. Give a little love. One of our own has fallen after a hell of a run. That's how we run it. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats today?

[Brett Vesely]

Wake up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Going up north doing some ski and snowboarding or hitting the trails, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. Want to do the mountain bike thing? Well, they got taken care of you in both locations. The OG right there on Gilbert Road and Southern and of course the brand new one on power Road and McDowell right off the Hawes trailhead. And snow skiing and snowboarding is your thing. Well, Action Ride Shop right there on Gilbert Road and Southern is going to take care of you. Boards, binding skis, you name it, they got it. It is Action Ride Shop. Check them out online. ActionRideshop.com on the list for the charities. Ugly kid Joe, I hate everything about you. Suicidal tendencies. Send me your money, Hemlock. Kill your children. Primus, Megadeth, Metallica, Avenge Sevenfold, Lincoln park soil, Chili Peppers, Megadeth, Liar for the Goliath guy. They're calling him out.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think he's done it at all? I like that. I don't want to hear Megadeth. So.

[Byron]

It is completely on the honor system.

[John Holmberg]

Got a Megan 911 happening as we speak.

[Megan]

Oh, what's the sign in for DirecTV?

[John Holmberg]

I'm not doing anything. Let me help you with it. It's called a Job. I. I have to go to it every once in a while, but let me make sure you get your Channel 3 news in this morning. And I just sent it to her. Oh, yeah, because I just told her what all our new passwords are.

[Brett Vesely]

You changed them all?

[John Holmberg]

I changed all of them.

[Brett Vesely]

Why did you do that?

[John Holmberg]

Because it's easier the way I did it. Okay, I can't. I'll tell you off the air, okay? But it's awesome. And I figured it out. I'm like, oh, even if they change it, this gets better and better every time because I've got a plan. And then I change all my passwords to the same exact password with one drastic change in the middle of it. And each one identifies the thing I'm getting a password for. I'll never forget a password again. And I can't tell you what it is because it's mine. It's mine. Good luck, hackers. It's got Spanish in it. It's awesome. Anyway, sorry.

[Megan]

Hey, stop doing whatever that silly crap you do is. What's the DirecTV sign in?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is your day started busy? Okay, yeah, let me just put everything down. Let me just shut her down. This is what Megan needed help. I'm sorry, everybody. She can't figure. She told me that the other day.

[Megan]

She goes, I don't know how to do any of that.

[John Holmberg]

The Internet went down at the house.

[Megan]

This happens to me all the time.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, no, it's different. We have router connection. Like, I think it's an actual Internet issue. I don't think it's us.

[Megan]

No, it's us. It's happening. It's all the time. You don't know. I deal with this all the time.

[John Holmberg]

All right, fine. So I sit on the couch.

[Megan]

Oh, this is different.

[John Holmberg]

Is it then?

[Megan]

Yeah, no, this is. Evidently, this is an Internet thing.

[John Holmberg]

No. Is that right? Okay, well, I guess my words. I might as well just smash them into a wall with my face when I talk.

[Megan]

No, you said something completely.

[John Holmberg]

Just admit you were wrong and shut up.

[Brett Vesely]

Broads.

[John Holmberg]

Broads.

[Megan]

I'll text John. He's not busy with anything except for providing it all.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, that's it.

[Brett Vesely]

Tell her you got nothing else going on right now.

[John Holmberg]

I got nothing to do.

[Megan]

Full provisions can wait. What's the correct TV password?

[Byron]

He's in the middle of a Goliath expedition.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, hang on. My wife's text me. She doesn't know the password of Netflix. She wants to watch Stranger Things 5. You're in the middle of the Goliath Expedition. You know what never happens? You know what never happens? I was watching the Steelers, and maybe it did. Aaron Rodgers never goes time out and gets a phone. Goes, wife forgot the password to DirecTV. Let me take a break here for a second from working, but would you.

[Byron]

Put it past a wife?

[John Holmberg]

No. She would text Aaron Rodgers.

[Megan]

Yeah, it's happening again. You're always out of town when this happens.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well, I play for the Steelers, and you live in Green Bay, so it's gonna be tough for me to always be in town.

[Byron]

Collins.

[Brett Vesely]

Worth trying to stretch through that.

[John Holmberg]

Here's a guy, his wife just text him and needs the DirecTV password. I tell you, Al, ever since YouTube dropped channel three, it's been a half. You gotta pay for two. Come on, Black Al.

[Byron]

So if there's an emergency, you wouldn't stop the game.

[John Holmberg]

Here's a handoff to Jaylen Warren. Always fumbling because he's texting the password to directv to his wife. Ah. Right in the middle of a play. Of course, she needed that password. That was important.

[Megan]

So.

[John Holmberg]

Well, and, you know, and I. I'm predicting it right now.

[Byron]

Scotty Scheffler, to sink the pot to win the US Open.

[John Holmberg]

Was one. Arming the pot as he texts his wife the new password to Netflix. I guarantee in a few seconds, I'm writing another one.

[Megan]

Didn't work.

[John Holmberg]

It's a capital F. It's a capital F. I want to tell you guys my password so bad. Just. Just do it this way.

[Brett Vesely]

You're gonna have to change it again. Then you're gonna have to tell her again. Don't. No, no. Wait till you're out.

[John Holmberg]

It's long. This isn't it. But it basically says F. Words involved. Oh, there's a C word involved.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, thanks.

[John Holmberg]

It's essentially a phrase that basically says, hey, and in this case, DirecTV. Megan's a C word. It's awesome. Exclamation point, right? Yeah. So when I text, that's not what it is, but it's pretty darn close to that.

[Megan]

Oh, you made all our passwords hate me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hey, Netflix. Megan's a C word.

[Byron]

One. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

One and then two. And here's the guy who's got passwords figured out. And, you know, he missed the blitz. Bosa came around the end, and it looks like the left tackle is just texting. Must be his wife needing a password. Bothering people at work. Watch a lot of Mad Men anytime. January Jones called. Jon Hammond. What do you want? Like, he was mad.

[Megan]

Everything my wife's online one.

[John Holmberg]

What is it? I'm working bets. Click. My favorite moment in Mad Men reruns that I'm watching again. They went on a picnic as a family. And there's subtle little moments that remind you. It's like 1969, 1970. And I never grew up in that time, but it didn't change until the 90s because I remember this. My family doing this at Allegheny State Park. We laid a blanket down. Beautiful park, by the way. It's in New York, Pennsylvania borders. Gorgeous. And we're there. It's perfect day. My dad's running around in 1970 swim trunks. I don't even know if there was water. But he was really proud of how big he was at that time. But his pants were so small. The family pictures are hilarious. We're all eating, you know, we got food, packaged foods and wrappers and things like that. Putting it on the blanket. And when we left, we just moved the picnic basket in the cooler over and my mom lifted the blanket and just whipped off all the trash and weed and took off. That's what you used to do.

[Brett Vesely]

Iron Eye Cody was.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's why Iron Eye Cody was a commercial. We weren't the only ones. But that back in the 70s, was when you just get rid of those garbage. I'm not taking this into the car. And we left on Mad Men. They were at a park and a picnic, and January Jones is, okay, let's go. And everybody gets up and Don Draper takes the things they need and she just whips all the trash into the grass, pulls the blanket up and walks to the car. And they all got in and I died laughing. I'm like, that was my family. We'd pick up huge stuff. But rappers. I was told by my grandpa to chuck stuff out the window. I'll get that in my car. Like a.

[Byron]

Used to have signs all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Like a bag of trash come up.

[Byron]

Every once in a while.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Don't litter was a suggestion. I mean, no. U turn is a sign. I ignore those, too.

[Byron]

When you'd see the sign and there's piles. Try to hit it.

[John Holmberg]

You throw things at it.

[Brett Vesely]

You remember at the river, they used to have those bottle.

[Byron]

The.

[Brett Vesely]

The were the targets on the side of the thing where you throw your bottles at it and stuff like that way back in the day. Yeah, it's broken glass all over the place and it's morons missing and.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, it was. Yeah, we didn't. Littering was a thing. And then in the 90s, we're like, this is bad. We shouldn't do that. Iron Ice Cody was. The reason that commercial happened with the crying Indian is because nobody threw anything out properly. We thought about it and somebody will get to it. And we just assumed there was a guy in like a jumpsuit with a stick with a pokey on the end of it that would come get our garbage.

[Brett Vesely]

Times are better then.

[John Holmberg]

It was a better time. That's why I watch Mad Men make America great again. This is pretty good.

[Byron]

Now they just sweep it and make massive mounds of it out of anyone's.

[John Holmberg]

The same thing. They invented leaf blowers. Leaf blowers are no different than just whipping your blanket around. You're just blowing your leaves into making them somebody else's problem anyway. Pick a song, Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, you know, I'm gonna pick the suicidal. Send me your money for all the charities.

[John Holmberg]

Go crazy. All right. I don't mind that. Suicidal is never awful. And then you watch that Christina Hendricks walking around in there and you realize, my God, whoever cast this show found people with the most beautiful faces you've ever seen. She is just. And nobody. She doesn't look nearly as good in modern times as she does in those 60s clothes. Same with January Jones. Like, man, women on that show dressed up in 60s gear make you want the 60s to come back. And I hate the 60s. They're full of hippies and weirdos. But they weren't dressed as hippies and weirdos. They were like the classy 60s people. They're gorgeous. But it's quite a lovely. It's. It is some of the stuff you watch. That's how we all. Oh, and then she. Betsy the driver, she's driving their big boat car that they had.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she had to stop fast. And the kids in the back seat used to. And she looks back and they're gone. And she gets out and looks. And they're down in between the seat. In the front seat, laughing. She goes, are you kids okay? We hit the seat. Go. Thank God. Get back in there. No seat belts. It was awesome. It's a better time. It was a better time. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.