12-04-25 - Ryan Hamilton - Tempe Improv - In Studio

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD, Arizona)
Episode: 12-04-25 – Ryan Hamilton (Tempe Improv – In Studio)
Date: December 4, 2025
Host: John Holmberg (with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo)
Guest: Stand-up comedian Ryan Hamilton

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Episode Overview

This episode features stand-up comic Ryan Hamilton, in Phoenix to perform at the Tempe Improv. John Holmberg and the crew engage Hamilton in a freewheeling conversation about comedy, hecklers, the weird phenomenon of audience participation, life in Idaho, handling fame, billionaires, and what it takes (and risks) to be a comedian today. The discussion is peppered with self-deprecating humor, wit about “apocalypse skills,” and some sharp observations on how stand-up comedy is changing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Idaho Roots & Border Rivalries

Timestamps: 01:24–02:27

• Ryan describes growing up on the Idaho-Utah-Wyoming border and reflects humorously on local rivalries:
  • “There’s a little rivalry between southern Idaho and Utah... Idaho blows and Utah sucks or something like that.” (01:47–01:58, Ryan Hamilton)
• The hosts joke about how interchangeable Idaho and Utah people seem:
  • "I literally think you could, like, swap out people, and it would take a few days for the people in the house that you’ve swapped with to realize, oh, that’s not the same guy that was here before." (02:27–02:35, John Holmberg)

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2. Comedy, Smiles, and the ‘Good Humor’ Look

Timestamps: 02:36–02:52

• John commends Ryan's "huge Idaho smile," joking:
  • “I feel like I could sell ice cream in the 50s.” (02:44–02:51, Ryan Hamilton)
• The hosts riff on how Ryan's look matches his nice-guy comedy and Midwest roots.

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3. Hecklers: The Warren Buffett Incident & Crowd Participation

Timestamps: 03:04–07:30

• John brings up a viral video where Ryan handled an angry Warren Buffett heckler:
  • “Somebody went there angry at Warren Buffett… why would that trigger him?” (03:13–03:29, John Holmberg)
• Ryan explains:
  • "He was just upset that I was talking about money or something… I ask him, did you lose money? Yeah, lost some money." (03:29–03:40, Ryan Hamilton)
• The hosts discuss how heckling is evolving—from random outbursts to personal, targeted grievances, with some people eager to “participate” ("influencer hecklers"):
  • “He was triggered by something. He was angry. He wanted to make it known. And so that was like a true heckler, you know…” (04:35–04:50, Ryan Hamilton)
  • “I love that hecklers have kind of gotten to the point now… Have you ever had one where you’re like, oh, tip of the cap, you win?” (05:28–05:39, John Holmberg)

Notable Quote

• John Holmberg: “He ruined it, even for his friends… This guy’s a dick, and we can’t change him.” (05:28)

• Ryan Hamilton: Shares personal vulnerabilities about hecklers, recalling a time a heckler perfectly targeted his insecurity—a new, oversized watch:

  • “I was doing really poorly… and the guy goes, ‘Nice watch.’ And I was like, how did you know that? That’s what I was thinking about. It was crazy.” (05:53–06:18, Ryan Hamilton)

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4. Heckling in Radio vs. Stand-Up & Handling Haters

Timestamps: 07:30–09:44

• John compares radio “heckling” (delayed hate mail or calls) to live stand-up outbursts, reading a particularly bizarre email he received:
  • “I read his apology on the air and killed him. Screw you… He called me, he said, you’re racist… you’ve got the lib cuck Jew nose… I mean, I’m racist and you’re okay closing up with that.” (07:55–08:31, John Holmberg)
• They joke about how some people just want to be offended and make it personal.
  • “You get heck of a class. You Got to. You got to remind me why I pissed you off.” (07:56, John Holmberg)
• The crew reflects on the odd impulse of certain audience members to “have a discussion,” not just watch a show.

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5. Personal Life: Bachelorhood & Comedy Focus

Timestamps: 10:08–10:34

• Ryan reveals he’s single, never married, with no children:
  • “This is it for me. My whole thing is here at the Tempe Improv, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.” (10:23–10:34, Ryan Hamilton)

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6. Famous Idahoans & The Burden of Fame

Timestamps: 10:49–12:13

• John quizzes Ryan on Idaho’s most famous person—eventually suggesting Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad) and Sarah Palin.
• “You’re kind of the Finland of the United States, so it makes sense…" (11:21, John Holmberg)
• “It’s your turn right now. And it’s yours. This is your time.” (11:54, John Holmberg)

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7. Are Billionaires Still ‘Cool’? Wealth, Envy, and Warren Buffett

Timestamps: 12:13–14:29

• Ryan and John debate whether billionaires are now seen as villains rather than aspirational:
  • “A year ago, billionaires were cool, and now they’re evil.” (12:17–12:23, Ryan Hamilton)
  • “I feel like those are weak people. If someone said, here’s $1 billion… you take it.” (13:09–13:12, John Holmberg & Ryan Hamilton)
• They discuss how people love hearing about lottery winners whose lives are ruined—because it makes non-winners feel better about themselves:
  • “Because then we’re like, well, good, I’m glad I didn’t win.” (13:43, Ryan Hamilton)
• Ryan admires Warren Buffett:
  • “You can be rich and cool, but you can’t buy cool… Warren Buffett got all the money, and then he was like, I’m just gonna live my life. And I think that’s cool.” (13:58–14:11, Ryan Hamilton)

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8. ‘What Would You Do If Not Comedy?’ Real Estate & Apocalypse Survival

Timestamps: 14:33–18:09

• John and Ryan fantasize about alternative careers:
  • “Maybe real estate. I’m interested in real estate… I got the headshot already. I got the face for it.” (14:51–15:10, Ryan Hamilton)
  • John jokes about Ryan becoming a “traveling serial killer of home sales.” (15:42–15:47)
• The crew ponders their lack of "real" survival skills for an apocalypse:
  • “If the apocalypse came, what would you do?... There’d be no need for you as a comedian.” (16:11–16:24, John Holmberg)
  • “I think that’s kind of how we’re orphaned into this stuff… you end up there because you can’t do anything else.” (17:29–17:35, Ryan Hamilton)
• Both admit they have zero “handy” skills; John is currently stuck with a scissor lift in his backyard he doesn’t know how to remove.
  • “I currently have a scissor lift stuck in my backyard because we tried to drive it through the grass and it’s too heavy... I got a hire guy.” (19:08–19:19, John Holmberg)
  • “I don’t even know what a scissor lift is. So that’s where I’m at.” (19:29, Ryan Hamilton)

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Notable Quotes

• Ryan Hamilton: “I feel like I could sell ice cream in the 50s.” (02:44)
• John Holmberg: “He ruined it, even for his friends… This guy’s a dick, and we can’t change him.” (05:28)
• Ryan Hamilton: “He was just upset that I was talking about money or something… I ask him, did you lose money? Yeah, lost some money.” (03:29–03:40)
• John Holmberg: “You’d be a traveling serial killer of home sales.” (15:44)
• Ryan Hamilton: “You can be rich and cool, but you can’t buy cool… Warren Buffett got all the money, and then he was like, I’m just gonna live my life. And I think that’s cool.” (13:58–14:11)

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Memorable Moments

• Ryan’s take on hecklers: The watch story—a heckler picking on the one thing Ryan was self-conscious about that night.
• John’s email hate mail anecdotes: A particularly colorful, bigoted listener interaction, highlighting the weirdness of being in talk radio.
• Idaho’s anonymity: The hosts realizing how few famous Idahoans there are, and jokingly passing the “torch” to Ryan.
• Apocalypse admissions: Both admitting they're largely useless if civilization collapses.

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Closing & Ryan’s ‘Words of Wisdom’

Timestamps: 19:44–20:11

• Ryan’s tongue-in-cheek closing advice:
  • “Do what you want to do. I don’t know.” (19:48, Ryan Hamilton)
  • John: “What if that’s rape?”
  • Ryan (quickly, nervously): “If it’s comedy, do that. If it’s rape, maybe take… No take. Don’t. Not anything.” (19:51–19:58, Ryan Hamilton)
• Ryan plugs his real (and fictitious) open house:
  • “I got an open house Sunday at noon. Support your local real estate.” (20:05, Ryan Hamilton)

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Summary Takeaways

An episode filled with sharp comedic banter, candid reflections on the pitfalls and rewards of stand-up comedy, and self-aware humor at the expense of both host and guest. Ryan Hamilton reveals both the challenges of modern crowd work (and heckling) and the humility of a performer rooted in small-town America, while the HMS crew keeps the laughs (and the existential fears) coming. A great listen for comedy fans and anyone curious about what happens behind the laughs.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Ryan Hamilton]

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[Ryan Hamilton]

You thought that was funny?

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?

[John Holmberg]

Don't be afraid.

It is. Ryan Hamilton is here. He's at the Tempe Improv. We just talking to Ryan off there, learning all about you. Yeah. And you're a guy from Idaho, Wyoming, Utah corner right there.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I'm from the Idaho area.

[John Holmberg]

Right. The Idaho side. Was there a rivalry between Utah and Wyoming? Being that close, did you start to hate the people across the border?

[Ryan Hamilton]

There's a little rivalry between Idaho, Southern Idaho and Utah, I would say. Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What's the. What's the border?

[Ryan Hamilton]

They always say something like, it depends on where you are. Oh, it's always windy in Idaho. So they say. What do they say? Idaho blows and Utah sucks or something like that.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I can go with that.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But there's no like. Because it seems like every time you draw a border, you hate the people on the other side of it. For sure. Yeah.

[Ryan Hamilton]

That's just human nature, right?

[John Holmberg]

It is, yeah. So I just can't imagine Idaho and Utah being that angry at each other.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Well, yeah. I mean, there's not a lot of people in Wyoming, so we don't have a. You know, but for some reason, Idaho and Utah, they do that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They have a battle, and they're so the same.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's just. It's interchangeable people.

[Ryan Hamilton]

That's what I always say. It's like, have you been to. There. You've been to both of them?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I literally think you could, like, swap out people, and it would take a few days for the people in the house that you've swapped with to realize, oh, that's not the same guy that was here before.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's smiling. You have a huge smile. You're kind of known for your gigantic smile. It's a very Idaho smile. Am I wrong?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, no, that's. I mean, I. What did I used to say? I feel like I could sell ice cream in the 50s. Yeah.

[Unidentified Caller/Interjector]

Good humor.

[John Holmberg]

It's very true. You'll be at the Tempe Improv tonight with ice cream and Friday and Saturday, if you want to go. Tempimprov.com, oddly enough. And I have a feeling it's from the commercials that run during the week saying you were here this weekend.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Go to Tempc Around. Somebody sent me a clip of you 2 or 3 days ago email of you handling a heckler about Warren Buffett.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I found it to be. You were great. Obviously, it was really funny. But the weird part was somebody went there angry at Warren Buffett. Like, I couldn't help but think, the one guy driving to the club going, I hope he doesn't talk about Warren Buffett. Like, why would that trigger him?

[Ryan Hamilton]

I don't know. It was really interesting. I mean, at the end of the clip, you see that I ask him, did you lose money? Yeah, lost some money. And so I think he was just upset that I was talking about money or something.

[John Holmberg]

But you hadn't even really gotten to the meat of the Warren Buffett part yet. You told me it was funny. And he's just like, that's enough. That guy's not cool. And it was about the fact you called Warren Buffett cool for being a billionaire.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And giving his money away and stuff. And I was more fascinated by everything. It's like, hecklers are getting weirder and more. They personalize. We get it on the radio all the time. I'll talk about stuff. Oh, do you? Oh, I get an email from somebody, oh, my sister got eaten by A raccoon. And I'm like, I don't even know what that means, but I have to be able to talk about that. It's rare. You're a unicorn. But now they're doing it in comedy clubs when it's personal, where it used to be just kind of yell at them for no reason.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Right. It's interesting. Like, you know, I think because of this kind of content that's out there, people are seeing comedy as a thing that they want to participate in, maybe or something. It's very interesting. But I posted that clip because it was like, a true heckler. Yeah. It was a really angry guy.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't intend to be a heckler. Yeah.

[Ryan Hamilton]

He was triggered by something. He was angry. He wanted to make it known. And so that was like a true heckler, you know, not this kind of other thing. So it's like, that's kind of how comedy used to be, is you handle something come up and you handle it.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Ryan Hamilton]

And that's what this was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But, like, influencer. The influencers have come out and tried to get the attention. So they heckle with intention. They show up going, I'm gonna do this.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it doesn't even really make sense.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

This dude heard Warren Buffett went, that's the last straw.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How dare he touch billionaire. And then he took a shot at you by saying. Which I found even more fascinating. I've never heard of you. He came to your show.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. You know, it was at the Comedy Cellar in New York City. So it's a showcase show. So there's a bunch of comedians. Yeah. But it's like, I don't know. The thing that stayed with me is he was just so angry.

[John Holmberg]

He was furious.

[Ryan Hamilton]

He was really. And his friends were like, you just.

[John Holmberg]

Need to have a fun night.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he ruined it, even for his friends. Like, this guy's a dick, and we can't change him. We can't change him. But I love that hecklers have kind of gotten to the point now. Have you ever had one where you're like, oh, tip of the cap, you win.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Sure. I mean, sometimes a heckler has a line where you're like, that's funny.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's funny.

[Ryan Hamilton]

You know, it's a funny line. Or they just, for whatever reason, they nail your insecurity. It's like they read my mind in that moment.

[John Holmberg]

Ever reveal your insecurity?

[Ryan Hamilton]

It's like, whatever it is in that moment. I remember a weird time that I was opening for someone not doing well, and I Had just bought this new watch because I needed to know what time it was on stage. And it didn't fit me. And it was really huge and weird looking. And I just bought. And I was doing really poorly. And the guy goes, nice watch. And I was like, how did you know that? That's what I was thinking about. It was crazy.

Yeah. And in that moment, I was like, yeah, you got. I don't know. Yeah, you nailed the watch. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I would have pointed that out myself. Yeah.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Just such a weird thing.

[John Holmberg]

Do you ever wear the watch again?

[Ryan Hamilton]

I don't think so. It was a long time ago. I don't know what.

[John Holmberg]

I threw that.

Some of the best heckling is just the basic, like, yeah, yeah. Like, nice teeth. Like, why is he going after. Like, what's wrong with my.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Like, the quick, easy ones. But when they go after one of your joke. The Warren Buffett thing's fascinating to me.

[Ryan Hamilton]

It was interesting because I was just.

[John Holmberg]

You can't, like, let it go.

[Ryan Hamilton]

He. I, you know, I go. I think I was saying something like, warren Buffett's such a cool guy. Because I was saying, you know, can you be rich and cool? And I think drives a minivan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Hamilton]

You know, he's secure in his own person. And he's just like, how. How could you? He said what's cool about him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Like, he thought it was a Q and A. He's just like, I've got a few questions for this guy. Yeah. I always find that amazing when people email me and they're like, that thing you said first off wasn't funny. Male domestic violence is something like, what are we talking about? Well, last Tuesday, I'm like, oh, okay. Got a recap. When you got mad at me, everything else was funny.

[Ryan Hamilton]

But that thing wasn't funny to you specifically. It was funny to everyone else. Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

One guy that got mad at me, Remember the dude a couple years ago that was furious at me about something? And this was the best. Like, in radio, heckling is different because it's on time delay. So if you could imagine, if you do a show like tonight and you're like, man, that went really well. And then you go home and you enjoy your day, and then in the morning, somebody calls you and goes, you're an idiot. And you're like, what happened? Like, what did you say that about Shaquille o'? Neal? I'm like, oh, my God. You showed up out of the blue.

[Unidentified Caller/Interjector]

Some of the stuff you can't even remember.

[John Holmberg]

You get heck of a class. You Got to. You got to remind me why I pissed you off. But then he emailed me and he said, I don't know who you are. But I listened, and he goes, it was mad at me for something I wouldn't even be in political. And he said something about me being liberal. And he called me, he said, you're racist and you do this and that. And I'm like, what did I do? And at the end, and he goes, to me, you just sound like a Howard Stern wannabe. And he said, and. But I saw your picture. So by the looks of it, you've got the lib cuck Jew nose to be like, oh, my God. I'm like, I'm racist and you're okay closing up with that.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So to follow up, a year later, he emailed me back and apologized, said he was a drunk and he went to rehab and he needed to make apology.

[Ryan Hamilton]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't accept it.

I read his apology on the air and killed him. Screw you. But that's. That was the ultimate. But it took me a year to have the. To have the fight back, because I could finally fight back. He gave me info to kill it right now, and I destroyed him on the air. The day he emailed me about being a. What did he call me? A libtard Jew nosed Biden loving.

What?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand why you even got that mad at me.

[Ryan Hamilton]

He was furious. But even if you're drunk, you really thought through that. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And that was the other thing. I mean, one of the things I said, it's like you were so drunk, but no misspellings. Your punctuation was perfect. Like, there was no, like, you know, just Hamilton in the middle of it. Like, what was that?

[Ryan Hamilton]

It seems like you were sober when you said this.

[John Holmberg]

You were pretty on it that night.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It seems like you might want to get back on the bottle because that's when you really made sense. But it's really like, I find heckling so weird because you would never, like, do. And I'll email people back. And I'm like, you're mad at me for something you heard that you didn't like. Do you. Do you talk to comedians when they're on a stage? Like, if someone tells a joke at a restaurant and you overhear it, you go to the table and go, right, that's enough.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Why do they do it to you?

[Ryan Hamilton]

It's interesting. I don't know. Sometimes I think, feel compelled. Yeah.

[Unidentified Caller/Interjector]

I want to have a discussion with you.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. It is fascinating. I don't know. It's rare, I guess, to have a real one. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because the other ones are just that. You can walk over those.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. And they just. They kind of want to participate or they think they're helping the show sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

You know, whatever you're talking about women. I know. I know which one. I know her. I know the girl you're actually talking about. She drives me nuts. Just stop it. Stop. You're not part of it. We didn't pay for you. We didn't pay to come see you. But. Yeah, so. But other than that. Well, tell us about you. Are you a married guy? You got 100 kids? You got no kids?

[Ryan Hamilton]

No, I'm single. Never been married, no children. This is it for me. My whole thing is here at the 10pm Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

[John Holmberg]

You are solely focused on just this weekend.

[Ryan Hamilton]

That's my responsibility in life.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good thing. John holmberg's morning sickness. The 98kupd holmberg's morning sickness.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Entertain people and dominate.

[John Holmberg]

And is the end goal to forever live in the biggest ranch in the world in Idaho and be the most famous Idaho.

[Ryan Hamilton]

That wouldn't be too bad. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Who is it currently the most famous Idaho resident?

[Ryan Hamilton]

That's a good question.

[John Holmberg]

Like, who's the biggest guy that came out of Idaho that everybody in Idaho goes. I'm the next. That guy.

[Ryan Hamilton]

We. I don't know who. Who is the biggest. I've been asked this question before and I should know, like, who it is. I don't know any. We had some Olympic athletes, Peekaboo street back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

Some snow sports.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're kind of the Finland of the United States, so it makes sense. You got hockey probably.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Aaron Paul, actually.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Aaron Paul. Yeah. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I had to Google it. Yeah, that's pretty good.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. Aaron Paul's from Boise area, I think.

[John Holmberg]

If I remember right, Sarah Palin. Okay.

[Ryan Hamilton]

She's from Idaho.

[John Holmberg]

That's what it says.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. Okay. You birthed her.

[John Holmberg]

Nice job.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So you can be standpoint.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Oh, way up north. That's way, way up.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know. Like, that's. That's recent. Like no one in the. In the 200 year history of Idaho has popped. It's time.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I guess.

[John Holmberg]

It's your turn right now. And it's yours. This is your time.

It's on you. It's a. It's a big trophy glowing like a video game. Just grab it and take it.

[Ryan Hamilton]

No one will ever know unless I'm asked who's the most fam. Famous person.

[Unidentified Caller/Interjector]

You remember that guy loved Warren Buffett.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's it.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you like Warren Buffett? I mean, just to keep going back.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I think he's cool. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I like that billionaire.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, I do. I. Here's what's interesting is, like, a year ago, billionaires were cool, and now they're evil.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know, one lunatic shot a billionaire.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And. Or shot at a guy who runs a billion dollar company. And everybody's like, yeah. Like, when did we get mad at them? Isn't that all of our goals?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Caller/Interjector]

It must be a tolerance on the number because there's more billionaires now. So, like.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Caller/Interjector]

If you keep it under a certain amount.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We used to think of radar. I think it's more insecure. It's. Now we've seen it's attainable.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And. And now that we're sitting there struggling, it's like, it's their fault. It's like, how did they do that? If someone said, here's $1 billion, you.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Take it, I'll take it. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I know people who say they'd turn that down.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Well, there is a lot of responsibility that comes with money. But, you know, it's hard to say no to a billion dollars, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

But can't you hire people to take care of those responsibilities? That's the point of being a billionaire.

[Ryan Hamilton]

But, yeah, I guess it's scary. Maybe it could ruin people.

[John Holmberg]

But I feel like those are weak people.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I feel like, you know, there was a time in society where we went, million, billion. They're like, we don't know. And now we go, it's a lot. It's a lot.

[John Holmberg]

I've never heard a billionaire on TV going, I don't know. It's ruining me.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Have you ever seen a billionaire they worked for? They wanted it, you know, but you hear those stories about people who win the lottery or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, see, I fight with people on that all the time.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's for people like us who haven't won the lottery. We want to hear that story. Yeah.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because then we're like, well, good, I'm glad I didn't win.

[Ryan Hamilton]

That's true. Yeah, that's true.

[John Holmberg]

It's all our insecurities. Because if you want, get their rv.

[Unidentified Caller/Interjector]

They'Re above the ground. Pool.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All the purchases.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Never once seen somebody collect the big check from the lottery going, it's probably gonna screw up a shot here. I'm gonna give this back.

[Ryan Hamilton]

This is why I like Warren Buffett, though, because you Know, you can be rich and cool, but you can't buy cool. You know what I mean? Warren Buffett got all the money, and then he was like, I'm just gonna live my life. And I think that's cool. Yeah. He didn't even leave Omaha. You know, he's cool.

[John Holmberg]

He's. He's stuck around a dump.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. He's so secure in his person, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, he likes himself so much. He's like, I can make this work. I can make a billion dollars.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And think of how far it stretches in Omaha. I know, like, most people go to Dubai and, like, start seeing the dent in their checking account. Not him.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, he's retiring this year. You know, he's just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's just gonna step away for a minute.

[Ryan Hamilton]

He finally saved up enough, you know, just coast, make some smart investments.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think he ever said to himself, but what would I do if I retired? Like, people say that. Yeah, I don't know what I would do. I don't know. Anything you want.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Anything you want. But it's pretty reasonable what he wants to do.

[John Holmberg]

What would you do if you weren't a comedian, Ryan?

[Ryan Hamilton]

It's a hard. It's a hard question, because I asked myself that, and I go, I think I'm doing the thing I want to do, but I don't know, maybe real estate. I'm interested in real estate.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's the natural progression.

[Ryan Hamilton]

You'd be great at showing home.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, I got the headshot already. You know, I got the headshot. I got the face for it. You know, I want to buy a.

[John Holmberg]

House for you right now.

[Ryan Hamilton]

In fact, I got an open house.

Sunday afternoon.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it's not a bad idea, is to get, like, multiple real estate licenses in different states, and each state you're performing in, you try to sell.

[Ryan Hamilton]

A house, like, double dip speed, so.

[John Holmberg]

Because I know you're not doing anything all day. No, I come in, sleep most of the time. Till noon.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You seem like a go getter. You're probably up around 9.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Let's do it right.

[John Holmberg]

You get out there, you throw one open house together and try to sell a house. I love it.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you just, you know.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Very gleefully. Either you do or you don't. Then you leave.

[Ryan Hamilton]

That's it.

[John Holmberg]

I like this.

[Ryan Hamilton]

It's not bad.

[John Holmberg]

Sort of like a traveling serial killer of home sales.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Serial killer.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what I think they would do. It's kind of a thing I'd see on Dateline. Eventually she was just a real estate agent, but truth of the matter was, gotcha, right? It's kind of a thing. I like that idea. So real estate would have been. I don't know.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I'm interested in it. You know, I spend a lot of time just perusing. Every place I go, I go. What was interesting? What's it like to buy a house?

It's like, I feel like a lot of people do that, but what's the.

[Unidentified Caller/Interjector]

Medium, like, the spot? You're like, I wonder what a house cost here.

[Ryan Hamilton]

The.

[John Holmberg]

The better the way I always try to answer that because I. I'm useless outside of talking into this stick, right. And then like, I don't know, like if some. I. I kind of thought of this myself. If the apocalypse. The apocalypse came, what would you do?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

There'd be no need for you as a comedian. I know being funny would be annoying, right? Well, if everybody's a zombie, kind of.

[Ryan Hamilton]

But there's always been a need.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Something.

[John Holmberg]

But I bet you back during the plague, you joking around would have been kind of like, I'm gonna kill.

[Unidentified Caller/Interjector]

Jesters.

[John Holmberg]

Like, Jesters were just this prick, he has no idea what I'm going with. They even talk about hecklers.

[Ryan Hamilton]

It's just, you know, it's just a survival mechanism because you don't have anything left. So when your back's against the wall.

[John Holmberg]

So you still think you would do stand up in the event of the end of the world, you wouldn't have any handy skills.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Well, it's interesting. I think that's why we become standups and why maybe you guys do what you do with the drama. You've learned how to deal with stuff over. And that's what. I suppose that's true. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

But would I just set up a thing and tell people, like, traffic if the world was coming, boy, there's a backup over there. Cars have been stopped for months now. Yeah. I don't even know what you do.

[Unidentified Caller/Interjector]

Three friends vaporized. Yeah, did you see that?

[John Holmberg]

And we try to make jokes about, like, news of the weird. Like, that's pretty much all of it. But, yeah, I don't have any skills outside of just.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I mean, I think that's kind of how we're orphaned into this stuff. When you do it, it's like you end up there because you can't do anything else.

[John Holmberg]

End of the world. I think I'd be dead in two days.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, I don't think I'd last.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't last. I'm a Fighter. I can fight. Like, I'll fist fight if you want to go take my stuff. But when it comes to, like, the whole place is on fire, you're out. Yeah, I'm not gonna make it. If I have to fight for food. I don't sit in line at Dutch Brothers. I'm not gonna fight for food.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, well, yeah, you know, I mean, I'm probably right there too. I don't think anybody's like, you know, when I'm picked for teams in school, I was never the first guy.

[John Holmberg]

You're tall, though.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I'm tall, but, you know, people know.

[John Holmberg]

Just in Idaho, I'd have picture for basketball right off. Maybe you would have disappointed me, but.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I went to a very small school. I couldn't even make the basketball.

[John Holmberg]

Really.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I was from one of those schools where if you don't make the cut, it's like you're bad. It's like we need people.

[John Holmberg]

We need people if they're even cutting.

[Ryan Hamilton]

We're really desperate.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you weren't going to cut anyone. But Ryan's horrible.

[Unidentified Caller/Interjector]

He's going to start some kind of club.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I've said it before. I mean, and when it comes down to that kind of like, apocalyptic nature of things, I would join whoever's winning. If Al Qaeda started to win, I think I'd just put a hat on.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Just survive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I just. I don't care if bees took over. I'd put on a suit. I have no ability to, like, go. Listen to me. I've got the skills to get it. Like, I can't build a little house or I don't know how plumbing works. I have no idea what I do.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Well, I. I bet you'd be surprised if I.

[John Holmberg]

Trust me, I drill holes in walls to hang pictures. And there's a hole in the wall. There's. There's no picture. It's just. I'm terrible at everything, but I build.

[Unidentified Caller/Interjector]

A house, but might not last too long.

[John Holmberg]

But for example, I currently have a scissor lift stuck in my backyard because we tried to drive it through the grass and it's too heavy. And you still haven't got that out? No, I got. I got a higher guy.

[Ryan Hamilton]

You made a mess and you got to hire a guy to get out of the mess.

[John Holmberg]

I made a mess trying to be handy, and now there is a 3,500 pound scissor lift stuck in my grass going neither direction.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I don't even know what a scissor lift is. So that's where I'm at.

[John Holmberg]

We're not gonna make it. Ryan, do what you do best tonight at the Improv, before the apocalypse comes. Tonight, tomorrow, and Saturday. If you want to go 10pmprev.com Ryan, leave us with words of wisdom.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Words of wisdom. You know.

Do what you want to do. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

What if. What if that's rape?

[Ryan Hamilton]

If it's comedy, do that. If it's rape, Maybe take. No take. Don't. Not anything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, okay. Don't do what you. Do what you think is right. Yeah, but again, you're dancing a fine line with some brains.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I got an open house Sunday at noon. Support your local real estate.

[John Holmberg]

Ryan Hamilton. Pleasure, sir. Ryan Hamilton, everybody. It's 98, KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.