Podcast Summary

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show
Episode: 12-05-25 – Demetri Martin – Stand Up Live – In Studio
Date: December 5, 2025
Guest: Demetri Martin (stand-up comedian, writer, and actor)

Episode Overview

This episode features an in-studio conversation with comedian Demetri Martin as he makes a stop in Arizona to perform at Stand Up Live. The hosts, known for their irreverent style, dive into discussions about Demetri’s family, upbringing, comedic career, and unique perspective on life and comedy. The episode blends humor with honest takes on parenting, the Greek-American experience, and the realities of a comic's life on the road, culminating with Demetri revealing his new stand-up Christmas album project.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Introductions, Epitaphs, and Legacies

• Demetri’s “Somewhat Legendary” Status

  • The hosts good-naturedly introduce Demetri Martin as “somewhat legendary,” which both embrace as a rating for his comedic gravitas and riff about what qualifies someone for an epitaph.
  • Quote:

    Co-host: “I'm gonna say somewhat first just so I don't make you that uncomfortable.”
    Demetri: “No, I'll take some. Somewhat legendary. That would be a good epitaph.” (01:25)

• One-liner for an Epitaph

  • “Would have to be a one-liner. Good for that form. You don't usually do long stories.” (01:44) – Demetri Martin

2. Dark Humor about Death and Afterlife

• Partially Cremated Genie Bit
  • Demetri revives an old joke about being only partially cremated, so he could look like a genie—perhaps with the “dust going into a lamp.”
  • The banter extends to practical jokes after death, such as being used in an hourglass for board games.
  • Quote:

    “If I got cremated, I wanted to still be of some use. So I thought if you could put me like in an hourglass, like for board games.” (02:25) – Demetri Martin

3. Parenting, Kids, and Life on the Road

• Bringing His Kids on Tour

  • Demetri talks about traveling with his 12- and 9-year-old children, their reactions to his profession, and how they're largely unimpressed by it.
  • “There's nothing that people like more than some other guy's kids.” (03:33) – Demetri Martin
  • Jokes about his kids running the merchandise booth and earning tips.
    • “They sell merch. And they get to keep the tips, which is…” (04:46 – Demetri)

• Reflections on Exposing Kids to Comedy

  • Demetri considers whether his children will be amused or traumatized by seeing their dad on stage.
  • “I think smart enough to know to not pursue what Daddy's doing. This is the road to madness.” (05:17) – Demetri Martin

• On Traumatizing Children

  • The group jokes about how parents inevitably traumatize their children, regardless of intention.
  • “You really can't help but traumatize your kids.” (07:51) – Demetri Martin

4. Greek Heritage and Family Roots

• Growing Up the Son of a Greek Priest

  • Discussion of how Greek priests can marry and start families, unlike Catholic priests.
  • Demetri relates his father’s weekly sermons to his own stand-up routines, observing, “Sunday was like his show. He would do 20 minutes.” (06:18–06:43)

• Navigating Greek-American Identity

  • Demetri jokes about “the trajectory” of Greek culture in America:

    “We went from like the Acropolis to like Acropolis Diner. Parthenon to Parthenon Dry Cleaners.” (16:45–16:53)

  • Talks about drifting from religion and how his parents (now deceased) couldn’t be disappointed about his rare church attendance.

5. Comedy, Parenting, and Social Commentary

• Dull Children vs. Funny Children

  • The hosts debate whether they’d rather have kids with all their fingers and toes who aren’t funny, or funny children missing a finger or two.
  • Quote:

    Co-host: “I feel bad for people with dull children.” (09:13)
    Demetri: “If dull's gonna be part of it, then maybe two fingers. Yeah. Maybe one from each.” (09:00–09:05)

• Secretly Disliking Other People’s Kids

  • Demetri shares the universal experience among parents of disliking certain other kids.

    “It's amazing how much you can hate someone who's so young…it's already cemented.” (10:10–10:13)

• The “Truth Fairy” Concept

  • Joking about an app/service where adults are hired to tell other parents if their child is a “prick”—the Truth Fairy.

    “You could be the truth fairy.” (10:55 – Demetri Martin) “I will show up in the middle of the night and go, this kid…” (11:00)

• Impact of Early Childhood

  • Referencing studies about personality traits being largely set by age five. Discussion on privilege and nurturing.

    “There are studies…by age 5, you are who you are.” (11:29 – Co-host)

6. Greek Music, Church Production & Cultural Observations

• Greek Church Music

  • Riffing on the “terrible” Greek church music played endlessly at Greek festivals, comparing it to “the tavern from Star Wars.”

    “It cracks open this weird like oboe sound and it never ends.” (15:58)

• No Longer Religious

  • Demetri admits to drifting from Greek traditions and no longer attending church.

7. Comedy Career, Missed Opportunities, and Regrets

• The “Almost Moneyball” Story
  • Martin recounts being cast for a major part in Moneyball, working with Brad Pitt and Steven Soderbergh during the camera tests, and then being dropped after the studio changed direction.
  • Quote:

    “I worked for a day. …I was like, I can't believe. This is so cool…And then the next day, my agent calls me…don't go in today. They're having some contract dispute thing…Then next week comes in and he's like, nope. And then it never…I never went back.” (20:44–21:22 – Demetri Martin)

  • The part eventually went to Jonah Hill, who was nominated for an Oscar. Demetri hasn’t watched the movie since.

    “They changed the part, but Jonah Hill got the part.” (21:51)

8. Generational Reflections & Personal Style

• Gen X and “Not Feeling Like Grown-ups”

  • Both Demetri and the hosts reflect on reaching their fifties and still feeling like they're not truly adults compared to their parents.
  • Quote:

    “Did you ever think you'd be in your 50s and say full grownups?…I forget my shoes when I go places. …There's no way he had that problem.” (18:17–18:34)

• Nose and Hair Jokes

  • Observations about comic self-image, big noses and hair as “balancing” features. Demetri notes,

    “Somewhere along the way, I was like, all right, this is the best I can do with this nose. I need some sort of balancing thing in the front.” (18:54–19:00)

9. Favorite TV Roles and Nostalgia

• Writing for Conan and The Daily Show
  • The hosts praise Demetri’s writing and on-air work for The Daily Show and Conan.
  • Fond memories of being on Flight of the Conchords, even if only for “seven seconds.”
• Mayim Bialik (“Blossom”) Resemblance
  • Jokes about Demetri’s resemblance to Mayim Bialik and “very special” episodes of Blossom.
• Showing Kids ‘The Wonder Years’ on DVD
  • Demetri shares he's “traumatizing” his kids by making them watch DVDs and listen to vinyl, deliberately resisting modern technology.

10. Upcoming Projects: Stand-up Christmas Album

• A Brand New Comedy Christmas Album
  • Demetri reveals he’ll be recording his first Christmas-themed stand-up special that night, uncertain how the holiday material will land.
  • Quote:

    “I'm tonight recording my first Christmas album. …I'm doing a stand up comedy Christmas album. I've been working on this for a year, but I haven't been able to practice the material because it's Christmas material. So tonight's a big night. I'm gonna see if this stuff all works.” (25:04–25:17 – Demetri Martin)

11. Words of Wisdom: The Comedy of Life’s Tragic Ending

• Philosophy on Life’s Final Act
  • The hosts ask for Demetri’s “words of wisdom” as the show closes. He offers a perspective linking life’s third act to a stand-up set that’s gone on too long waiting for “the light.”
  • Quote:

    “Life…I don't see this ending well. There's an Act 3 problem in life.” (26:41–26:49 – Demetri Martin)
    “I think the credits should start rolling about now…This movie's going on a little long…When you get the light…You got to wrap it up. There's nothing worse than being done. And the light hasn't flashed.” (26:50–27:40)

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On Epitaphs and Comedy

  “Somewhat legendary. That would be a good epitaph.” (01:28 – Demetri Martin)

• On Parenting

  “I'm not thrusting my kids on the world, but we were traveling as a family. This was a drivable show." (03:42 – Demetri Martin)

• On Kids and Humor

  "It's amazing how much you can hate someone who's so young…it's already cemented." (10:13 – Demetri Martin)

• On Missed Roles

  "I worked for a day. …and then it never…I never went back." (21:22 – Demetri Martin)

• On Greek Heritage

  "We went from the Acropolis to Acropolis Diner. Parthenon to Parthenon Dry Cleaners." (16:45–16:53 – Demetri Martin)

• On Life’s Third Act

  "Life…I don't see this ending well. There's an Act 3 problem in life." (26:41–26:49 – Demetri Martin)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic / Segment | |------------|--------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:22–01:45| Epitaphs & one-liners | | 02:16–02:35| Cremation/genie/board game hourglass bit | | 03:32–04:49| Demetri's kids and life on tour | | 06:05–06:43| Growing up as son of a Greek priest | | 09:00–10:13| Dull vs. funny children, and the horror of boring kids | | 10:55–11:12| “Truth Fairy” concept | | 15:43–16:53| Greek church music and Greek-American experience | | 20:44–21:53| Almost getting cast in Moneyball, losing out to Jonah Hill | | 25:04–25:17| Demo/reveal: Demetri’s standup Christmas album | | 26:19–27:40| Words of wisdom — The light, and comedic structure of life |

Memorable Moments

• Genie cremation/Hourglass joke (02:16–02:35)
• Kids running the merch table for tips (04:46–04:53)
• The “Truth Fairy” idea (10:55–11:12)
• Demetri and co-hosts riffing on nose size and balancing it with hair (18:54–19:22)
• Martin’s honest recounting of losing out on Moneyball (and how he handled it) (20:44–21:53)
• Closing thoughts on how life “has an Act 3 problem” and waiting for "the light" (26:41–27:40)

Conclusion

This episode is a sharp, freewheeling conversation that merges Demetri Martin’s deadpan humor with the hosts’ irreverent approach. The hour is packed with jokes about death, parenting, dull kids, Greek-American quirks, and the bumpy path of a comedy career—including striking stories of almost-making-it and strange career twists. Demetri’s philosophical quip about life needing a “light” like a comedy set is a funny, existential bow on a session that’s honest, relatable, and ceaselessly entertaining.

Listeners get a strong sense of Demetri’s comedic thought process, personality, and family-centered worldview—while also catching intriguing previews of his upcoming Christmas stand-up album. Whether longtime fans or newcomers, anyone can enjoy this unfiltered, witty, and insightful episode.