12-08-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

---

Holmberg's Morning Sickness | Dec 8, 2025 – Full Show Recap

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD, Arizona)
Episode: 12-08-25 – Full Show – Monday
Date: December 8, 2025
Host(s): John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Special Guests: Byron (MMP Guns)

Overview

This episode is a classic, irreverent ride through sports, local events, odd news, and biting social commentary, all filtered through Holmberg and his co-hosts’ signature blend of sarcasm, raunch, and real talk. The team tears into everything from suburban parties and the state of college football, to a viral Cinnabon scandal and racial tension, medical oddities, and end-of-year reflections. As always, expect edgy humor and no-holds-barred opinions.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Nightmare of Suburbia: Queen Creek Christmas Parties

• [01:20-05:38]
  • John laments having to drive to Queen Creek for a friend's Christmas party, humorously decrying the distance and the impracticality of inviting out-of-towners.
  • Recounts the allure of Shane's house: a golf simulator and a "Golden Tee" arcade game, which turns into a tangent about buying toys as an adult.
  • Quote (Holmberg, 03:10):
    “You live too far away from people to ever have gatherings…great house, great people, had a blast. And then I realized, oh, yeah, I'm in Queen Creek and I've got to go home. So an hour later…brutal.”

2. College Football's Meaningless Championships

• [05:39–11:54]
  • The hosts dissect the decline of college football’s traditional stakes—arguing playoffs have rendered rivalry games and championships insignificant.
  • Heated debate about resting starters, the irrelevance of bowl games, and “playing not to lose.”
  • John mocks Rutgers fans and laments Ohio State/Indiana “meaningless” matches.
  • Quote (Holmberg, 06:50):
    “College football has screwed up everything. Nothing means anything…your rivalry games…used to be a death blow; now it’s like, oh well.”

3. NFL Gripes & Lamar Jackson's "Sperm Hat"

• [12:09–16:44]
  • John revels in Lamar Jackson's emotional outbursts, roasting his attire (“sperm hat”) and looks, launching into a comedic rant about ugly athletes in sports history.
  • Edges the line with recurring jokes about Jackson’s press briefings and personality.
  • Quote (Holmberg, 15:34):
    “If you can make Lamar Jackson cry, I’m happy.”

4. Arizona Cardinals, Bidwills, and The Curse of Ownership

• [16:44–25:32]
  • Dissects the Arizona Cardinals’ ongoing futility, lays ultimate blame at the Bidwell family’s feet, compares them to infamous NFL owners (Cowboys, Raiders).
  • Talks about disastrous ticket price increases and the futility of coaching changes without ownership change.
  • Quote (Holmberg, 24:40):
    “It’s the name Bidwell. That’s it. Because if he went away, I think the team would—well, they can’t be worse.”

5. Medical Oddities: “Heads” Syndrome

• [26:59–36:16]
  • John recounts a bizarre story of a woman with “hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome” whose head was almost detached her entire life.
  • Spur-of-the-moment riffs about the syndrome’s acronym (“HEDS” = "heads"), and a comedic fantasy about Lamar Jackson suffering the same fate played for laughs.

6. Organ Donation Mishaps (and Rabies Paranoia)

• [40:36–53:48]
  • A story about a kidney transplant recipient dying of rabies sparks a long, darkly funny conversation about the realities and ethics of organ transplantation.
  • Brady shares tales about his own brushes with animal adoption and the risk of rabies, including keeping a raccoon as a child.

7. Cinnabon Scandal – Racism & Viral Outrage

• [54:10–73:23; main thread continues in 104:04–109:47]
  • The team discusses a viral story where a Cinnabon employee in Wisconsin was fired for repeatedly using racial slurs toward Somali customers, yet managed to amass over $100,000 in GoFundMe donations from supporters.
  • The crew trades jokes, incredulity, and some social commentary on race, internet outrage, and the enduring lure of Cinnabon (“so good, you’ll eat it even after a racist slur”).
  • Extended, recurring riff: “Cinnabon is so good, you’d eat it even after being called the N-word.”
  • Touches on the weirdness of GoFundMe grifting and donor comments.

8. Environmentalism (with a Side of Littering)

• [75:46–81:35]
  • John rails against “start-stop” car engine technology meant to save the environment, arguing it’s pointless compared to global pollution, especially from countries like India and China.
  • Vows to begin “littering like India” until car feature is abandoned.

9. Pop Culture, Kidney Trades, and Christmas Party Disasters

• [87:31+; 95:12+; 99:55+]
  • Recap of Christmas party hi-jinx and debauchery of radio industry parties “before #MeToo” and COVID "ruined" the fun.
  • Miscellaneous “Baseless Fun Facts” (e.g.: Domino’s record pizza day, global population boom).
  • Jokes about kidney donors, rabies risk, and the randomness of transplant success.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On driving to Queen Creek for a party
  Holmberg (03:10): “You live too far away from people to ever have gatherings…great house, great people, had a blast. And then I realized, oh, yeah, I'm in Queen Creek and I've got to go home.”

• On college football's lost meaning:
  Holmberg (06:50): “College football has screwed up everything…Nothing means anything.”

• On Lamar Jackson's fashion sense:
  Holmberg (15:34): “If you can make Lamar Jackson cry, I'm happy.”

• On Cinnabon drama:
  Holmberg (54:10): “That's how good Cinnabon is. Even a Black person getting called the N-word five or six times didn't give it back.”

• On environmental policy:
  Holmberg (80:12): “I’m going to take my garbage over to the canal by my house, just pour it in…No more car stop-start until they solve India.”

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment / Topic | Start | End | | ------------------------------------------------------- | -------- | -------- | | Suburbia and Queen Creek diatribe | 01:19 | 05:38 | | College football’s playoff issues | 05:39 | 11:56 | | NFL talk, Lamar Jackson, “ugly athlete” tangent | 12:09 | 16:44 | | Arizona Cardinals failure and Bidwell rants | 16:44 | 25:32 | | Medical oddity – “Heads” disease | 26:59 | 36:16 | | Kidney transplants and rabies/inheritance stories | 40:36 | 53:48 | | Cinnabon racism scandal / viral video and GoFundMe | 54:10 | 73:23 | | Environmental/littering pledge | 75:46 | 81:35 | | Radio Christmas party stories & baseless facts | 87:31+ | 102:04+ | | Extended Cinnabon fundraiser/racism fallout | 104:04 | 109:47 |

---

Tone & Language

The conversation is loud, edgy, and filled with crude, often biting humor. The hosts toggle between candid confessions, high-energy banter, and pointed rants on absurdity and frustration with the world at large—from sports to politics to everyday annoyances. Listeners should expect irreverence, rapid subject shifts, and politically incorrect language, especially when tackling sensitive subjects.

---

Final Thoughts

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness serves up everything that makes the show Arizona’s top morning radio—sharp wit, locker-room laughs, and a readiness to offend in the name of comedy. The “Cinnabon incident" and subsequent viral fallout provides a thematic through-line, showing how America’s culture wars can play out even at a mall bakery. Toss in the usual sports rants, personal stories, and some wild medical trivia, and you’ve got another wild, unpredictable Monday with Holmberg’s crew.

---

For more, listen live on 98KUPD weekdays from 5:30am–10:00am or stream episodes at 98kupd.com.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms, feed.

[John Holmberg]

A family, make a kid happy and win a new car. It's the 25th anniversary of Operation Santa Claus. Presented by Sanders and Ford. Sanders and Lincoln, U haul and ABC15. Make a donation of food, new toys, child size clothing or money and you could win a new Ford F150 truck or Lincoln Corsair SUV. For more info go to givetothecloth.com Mr. Sanford Lincoln and ABC15.

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

My. My cock's broken. It's just bro. There it is. Fix it. Go. There he is.

[Byron]

Ah.

[John Holmberg]

I got nervous. We had no cock.

Took a little while but he came back. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome. Yeah, just took a little fluffing. Brady. We wouldn't go. Had to play with it for a second. Finally works. Do my job. It's 5:45. Happy Monday everybody. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's big dick Toledo. Let's go. It is a mid midway through getting out of December before everybody starts doing their crazy stuff. And Christmas parties abound. I went to one on Saturday. I broke every rule in my life.

I went to a Christmas party in Queen Creek, Arizona and Brett wouldn't shut up about tease me. He used to live there. And that's why I know the last time I was in Queen Creek, Arizona was your New Year's Eve party. And I said as I left, no one who lives in Queen Creek, Arizona should be allowed to have a party and invite anyone from outside of Queen Creek. No Christmas party like no office Christmas party. If you're centrally located. If your office is in Tempe, let's say you work over at the ADP building in Tempe. There's no way you're going to get a memo from HR or your management that says, all right, big company Christmas party. It's in Queen Creek. And have everybody go, hooray. There's not a single person excited about the trek to Queen Creek, even if you live in Mesa.

But I like the person that had the party enough to say, God damn it, I've got to go to Queen Creek.

[Brett Vesely]

She just told him to move.

[John Holmberg]

I did. That's what I wrote in the Christmas card. You live too far away from people to ever have gatherings was exactly what I wrote in the Christmas card. Great house, great people, had a blast. And then I realized, oh, yeah, I'm in Queen Creek and I've got to go home. So an hour later, to get to Central Phoenix, I was home. Brutal. What do people do that for? I understand, like, isolating. Like, why did you pick Queen Creek? I understand expense, but. But you didn't put any in your brain of saying, I got to drive out here every day. I'll never.

[Byron]

Well, I. I love the house. And then when.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, when you're buying the house and you go out there a couple times a week, you're like, okay, this isn't so bad.

[Byron]

It's cool.

[Brett Vesely]

You've seen your house being built. But then when you do it seven goddamn days a week, it's miserable.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, it's so far away. I didn't realize how far away it was.

But that's what I told him. I said, you have to know, Shane, how much I actually care about you to have done this. And, you know, midway through the party, I thought, man, I don't think I like Shane this much. It was a long drive.

[Brett Vesely]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

My affection, has boundaries. I don't pass 13 or 14 different great parties to get to your party if you're that far away, you know, I know. I know people who live in New Mexico, and if they had a Christmas party, invited me, I would be like, no, you're too far away. And everyone would understand. Queen Creek. They get offended.

[Brett Vesely]

Robert said, queen Creek. What's next, aj?

[John Holmberg]

What do you think? Never. First off, what do I know someone who lives in AJ for what kind of meth habit have I just started? I know there's nice sections of AJ.

Said the guy who's trying to sell his house to Doug Hopkins. And even Doug's like, I don't know, either way, it was. It was a fun thing. Ended up leaving there because he had a golf simulator and a brand new golden tea live. Oh, I'm sitting in there like I was in a showroom. Like, I gotta get out of here, but I'm gonna buy these. And sure enough, I start making phone calls the next day. Like, I never want to have to drive to Queen Creek to play with those again. Can I have one of them? And they're. They're not too bad. Christmas will be. Johnny, Christmas is already taken care of. We. We made that work, so it's pretty awesome. But thank you to Shane and his beautiful family. And they were awesome. And Kelly and the whole gang, they were really nice. But God damn it, if I couldn't. If I could beg them to move.

[Byron]

Closer, I had to watch the Buckeyes lose.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I was watching a little.

[Byron]

Come over and it was like, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That was no fun for you. But you know what? Here's the good news, Brady. Those games don't matter anymore.

[Byron]

It just.

[John Holmberg]

It just doesn't matter at all.

[Byron]

We're on our way to our second Natty.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, that's what you can say. And it used to matter, and I think it still should. I think college football's error in its ways is to not have what used to be special about it, be that you could not lose. You couldn't lose the table. You got to run the table. And then your rivalry games were your. You know, then they added the championship. Your rivalry games for the last game of the year. If you lost that you were out on the national championship, you lose your Big Ten championship. That was. That would have been like, ah, death blow. Now it's like, oh, well, I wouldn't have even played anybody in that. Yeah, Ohio State knew they were going to be in the playoffs. I would have rested my starters. I wouldn't play them. Game was meaningless. I don't know why anybody thought it had some sort of meaning because traditionalists still think of the old way of college. It had no meaning at all. If I was Indiana, I'd arrested that quarterback for sure. He's the only thing they've got other. They get good players. But I mean, that dude, I'd rest everybody. The Big Ten, SEC titles.

[Byron]

Well, they get to rest now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Unless you get bounced out of the playoffs from that. The college football has screwed up everything. Nothing means anything. That would have been a. You imagine the ratings thing that would have been had it been one of these two teams isn't going to be in the playoffs, if you lose the Big Ten championship, it would have been huge. Yeah, they had like 25 million people watching. Now it's like, oh, this is just sort of a. You know what it is now? It's the Emirates cup in the NBA. It's a pretend championship. It had no meaning. You're fine. You learned that last year. I hope you didn't even spend five minutes being upset about it.

[Byron]

You know.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't. It's nothing. A nothing game.

[Byron]

No matter what. You're upset about play calling and, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, sure, you can be, but it's at the end of an NFL season, if you're already in the playoffs and you play for the. You know, you're. You're in already and it has. There's no bearing on whether or not you're going to get a home game buy. You just don't start anybody. I watch some of that. I'm like, they're trying. Why? That's dumb. The only thing is, Ohio State fans and Indiana fans should be complaining about is that their coaches trotted out their starters. When I watched the beginning of the game, I'm like, well, this is stupid. Both these teams, they're one and two. They're not. They're not believing.

And everybody still does that. But the pride of. The pride of the. If one of those quarterbacks went down, you'd start hearing it.

[Byron]

That's what almost happened in the first series.

[John Holmberg]

That's what's going to change those championship games and make them even more meaningless, is one of these teams is going to lose a player that's crucial to the playoff. And they'll be like, from here on out, if we're locked in, I ain't playing any of my starters. I don't have a contract with ABC or ESPN to say I have to put my starters out there. Yeah, I was watching a little bit of it at the party and then later we. We ran off to another party in regular people areas. And then. But yeah, the. I'm watching. I'm like, why does nobody care? Like, this is pointless. So they lose. Big deal. And plus, you're giving away all your play team. You might play again. It's dumb. Yeah, it's stupid. It's flat stupid. You run base, defense, put your secondary guys in there and you go, I don't care if we win this game. We'll see you in a couple of weeks.

[Byron]

I got enough to recover. Enough time to recover if there was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you gave up the game plan.

[Brett Vesely]

Those Buckeye alumni would never let that happen.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, they would. Because the Buckeye alumni are going to be phased out soon. For a new generation of fan that understands this is the way it works, not the old way that people are still for some reason hanging on to. Somebody celebrated the Rose bowl birth. Why that means nothing anymore.

[Byron]

It was tough not to play this time. I mean, you've won 30 in a row against the team and you're like.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, because it was Indiana down on that. Indiana is the most losing program in the history of college football. Everybody's won 30 in a row against them. So what? You're still. You're. See, you're good.

[Byron]

They got their title.

[John Holmberg]

You're an older fella. See, so you're. I know he's upset and I'm trying to talk about it. You're an older fella who still thinks the old way applies. Meant nothing. Yeah. They got their title. And you're right, it doesn't mean nothing. It means out of shape.

[Byron]

I'm like, you just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There was another guy at the party who was an Ohio State fan. Can't believe this. I'm like, you're fine. Absolutely nothing changed. You're going to be number two in the man made rankings. Ho ho. We might fold the third. You're still going to go to a neutral site and play a playoff game. It's not going to matter. It's not going to matter. And it doesn't. I like what Notre Dame did. If we're not in, we're not playing in any of these stupid balls. And. And I don't blame them. They've got dudes that are going to go pro. Asu. Kenny Dillingham should have said Sunball. El Paso.

No. One of my guys, one of my juniors, rips his Achilles. I'm missing him for next year. I'm not putting him in this meaningless garbage game.

You contractually obligated to play in the Sun bowl for 33rd place. No, no. Get someone else to do it. That's silly. College football still trying to hang on to old traditions and invent some new way and somehow try to mesh them together. And they've mucked it up. The playoff system would work if they actually just called it what it was.

[Byron]

Well, I think they're looking at saying maybe we should expand 16.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, more. More teams like Tulane need to be in it. Okay, that's enough. No, you. You win your conference, you go forward, and then you have some actual real, meaningful games. At the end. Nothing mattered unless you're on the bubble and you weren't getting in the playoffs without that. It's crazy. Yeah, I liked when Notre Dame just announced it. Like, Notre Dame, you're not going to be in the college things. We're going to send you off to the Independence Bowl. I was like the. You are. We'll stay right here. We'd rather stay in Northern Indiana in a squall. That's pretty bad. Then travel to San Diego for your Independence Bowl. Eat a. And then they went on. God bless, by the way. And then they walked out. They were the smart ones. It is fun, though, if you're like a Miami fan or usc, because Notre Dame got bounced. But in the end, Notre Dame made the right choice by telling everybody. All right, well, then I guess we're out. We're not going to grace you with capital bowl week ratings.

[Byron]

Some other team enjoy that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, okay. Yeah, if there's a team that enjoys it that they're called losers. If your goal was, golly, we got to go to the Independence bowl, you're on a loser team. Enjoy Rutgers.

Rutgers. They still have people buying tickets to that. Morons. I watched the game earlier this year. It was. I think it was Rutgers playing Ohio State. And the guy said, boy, if you're a Rutgers fan, I'm like, you're talking to nobody. There's nobody out there who's like, running around with the Rutgers colors on. Sure, you went there, but if. If it's a good education, they'd have taught you, don't waste your money on games of Rutgers football. You're not gonna get any joy out of that in your life. It's silly on the pros. And I know Brett took a punch yesterday when you beat your rival and you get to wear your homemade Crying Lamar shirts underneath your. Oh, I watched him cry again at the end in that stupid sperm hat he wears. I don't know what he's doing. He's the ugliest man in the history of sports. I'm going to go ahead and say there's name an uglier man in sports than Lamar Jackson. There have been ugly men in sports. Oh, yeah.

I mean, the first few times I saw Kevin McHale, I thought, that's the ugliest human being alive. And something happened along the way. Kevin got some money, went through the star wash and started to look presentable, although he was ugly. Dennis Johnson, however, might have been the reason why. Because he played next to Kevin and he was the weirdest looking man I've ever seen. Then Sam Cassell came rolling into the league. The alien. He accepted that as his nickname. And it wasn't because he was so foreign to the game because his head looked like E.T. and he accepted that because he knew.

[Brett Vesely]

And he had a crank that held and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he was. Well, they didn't. They didn't show that on tv. That is true though. I did see it and you know, it's one of those weird dicks too. It was really long, but the end looked like a weight.

It had like a kettlebell or something. Yeah.

[Byron]

What are you doing?

[John Holmberg]

That's except no handle kettlebell. It would be like if you have.

[Byron]

A number it, like 30 or 40.

[John Holmberg]

It sort of had like us. If you rounded out the bottom of a sledgehammer, like a handle and then a ball. This thing was huge. Never seen anything like it. Like a ball peen hammer, I guess if you had like a. It was like a massive lollipop. It's just a normal stick. And then this ball. It was the things at the World Trade center in New York. You know those things at the end of Men in Black that they climb? That big bulbous tops.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[Byron]

It looks like a water tower.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was like. Yeah, like a water tower, only it was upside down. Anyway, nobody's been uglier in football than Lamar Jackson. And I swear I watched the press conference last night. They're like, do you think Isaiah likely had a touchdown? Well, he. Too bad now. I thought so, but damn right now. Can't do a rest. Do what? You're dumb and ugly.

You're the best.

Hate him.

Passionately. Hate Lamar Jackson. So yesterday didn't matter. You know, the game for first place, it's going to eventually pan out later. But I just love when he gets upset and starts because he gets so emotional and he's got that stupid sperm hat on. Who told him that was a good idea? You should wear a hat that makes you look like a sperm with a little face. Does it keep him cozy? It makes him a sperm man. Little tiny face. If I were to have like a play and it was like had a joke part where sperm had to run by be like, where does Lamar Jackson get his hat? Because that. That's perfect outfit for making people look like sperm.

[Brett Vesely]

Cammie Cam is his fashion consultant now.

[John Holmberg]

Cammie Cam looks at him and goes, put a hat and a mask on. At least Cam's good looking. He just dresses like Pharrell's closet exploded. Oh, do I love Lamar Jackson being upset. You think you had. Do you think that was an interception or not? Well, David's gonna fly by Times the man. Ah, how do you write that if you're a. If you're a reporter in Baltimore? Well, then when I asked Lamar, he said, dossy dolly on a flyby and hobby hop. The man.

Well, I mean, think Lamar said it all. That was great. It might mean nothing later. It doesn't matter. We made him cry. I used to. I knew a guy named James when I worked at Tony Romas years ago. And he'd come to work sometimes, he goes, I'm in a mood, man. Like, what's going on? He goes, I got to make one of these waitresses cry tonight or it's not going to be good. I'm like, oh, you're horrible. And he would try to find a girl to make her cry, and he would do it. And he'd walk around beaming the next day. He was just as miserable as he was that day. But he got a little joy out of it. And I never understood that. I always thought it was mean, but I want now I understand that.

Win. Loser. Draw. If you can make Lamar Jackson cry, I'm happy. And Cardinal fans, here we are on Armchair Quarterback Monday, and I think Jonathan Gannon might need some help packing. If those muscular moving men are doing anything this week, it would be a good idea to start. Go to his house and get one of those weird eyeball weight guesses that the movers do. Just fascinating. You ever had a dude do that? They come to your house and they look around and then he looks at you, go, £7,400.

[Byron]

What?

[John Holmberg]

That's how much your house, their stuff weighs. Like you didn't like have any measuring tool or any. You just looked at it. It's about £7,400. And then, dude, usually within like a hundred pounds, they just eyeball your over 100.

[Byron]

Do you get a prize?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I didn't. I thought, all right, rough estimate.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then he came. It was like 73.40. What? How'd you do that? And he goes, I've been doing this for a long time. You can used to work in a circus. You'd never give a. You'd never give a plushie away. I felt sorry for his wife. Do I look fat in these jeans? You look like you're about 161 pounds. So yes. Oh, my God, I hate being married to you. Honey, you've put on a couple pounds. How do you know? I've been doing this a long time. You're about 165 this morning. That's just not gonna cut it. I can't get you in the truck. Holmberg's morning sickness Disgusting. They say things that are horrible. Mediatiate UPD It's John Holmberg from the morning sickness and F football season is in full swing and underdog is the best place to get in on all the action. Playing on underdog is easy. Just pick whether your favorite player is going to go higher or lower on stats like rushing yards, receptions, touchdowns. This week I'm looking at my Steelers and I am selecting Darnell Washington to go higher than one touchdown and hoping that Lamar Jackson goes lower on rushing yards. Download the app today. Sign up with promo code HMS to score $100 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. Underdog Make Picks win money must be 18 + 19 + in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 + in Colorado for some games, 21 + in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply the assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms_dfs_.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org In New York, call the 24.7Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hopeny 467-369. It's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness to tell you about my [e-mail] you got something you want to do in that backyard because it's just not what you want it to be. Make it beautiful with turfmonstersaz.com youm can turf it. You throw in a sport court. You can put pavers, lighting, pergolas, plants, fire pits. You dream it up and they can make it a reality. Turf Monsters will turn your backyard into an amazing outdoor space you can use every day of the year. Check it out right now. Turf Monsters AZ.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

Yeah, those guys are amazing, but they need you right now. I think Jonathan Gannon's gonna need some people coming out there and poor guy, he's done. That's done. Did Slovis play yesterday? If my predictions come true, nobody watched the Cardinal game. I get texts from people because that.

[Byron]

Doug Hopkins, Kobe Brissette still the leading oh, quarterback in yardage for 20.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because they can't, they can't stop throwing the 312 yards average 100 times a game. Yeah, the I'm watching. People will text me because that Doug Hopkins commercial with me and it runs and they'll go, hey, just. I get it all. I just saw you on tv. Like, it's not live. I just saw you. I'm like, I know I was in it. Why are you watching the Cardinal games? There's like six other games on. I got it. It's 45. 10. Turn it.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the father and son commercial.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the pop. Yeah, that father and son real estate.

Yeah. It was just a great day yesterday all the way around. And I, you know, watching the Steelers beat the Ravens and rival, you know, you had your packers and Bears, had you guys taken that game yesterday, you'd feel that euphoria. And then if you could possibly see Jordan Love cry about penalties or something, just make excuses about why he was so bad, I'd have been flying high.

[Brett Vesely]

Wouldn'T needed a car to get to work today. I would have just been floating all the way here.

[John Holmberg]

Like when Wiley Coyote bought those wings.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, just flying Acme wings.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. I'm in. Just having one of those beautiful days and just loving every second of it. Oh, but you get that. And then that sperm gets an interview at the end and people. It's just, oh.

I get half hard talking about it. Broomhead, text me. Had a good day today. Tactical.

[Byron]

Tactical.

[John Holmberg]

Like, yeah, we did have a good day, Mike. We had a really good day. I'm half hard. Like, why Notre Dame's not in the playoffs. Like, haha. I'm half hard too. And I haven't watched the post game yet, but I could, I think I could actually finish to a Ravens post game press conference after they lose because Harbaugh cries and Lamar cries and then they drag usually at one of the, like Isaiah Likely or one of their players, like Derek Henry's big dumb eyes. And he stares at the camera and cries about things that. And they never once say, yeah, we could have played better. Well, referee took that Bob. That my Bob.

Thank you, Lamar. That was very succinct.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds like a challenge.

[John Holmberg]

All right, consider it done. And I'll, you know, get kicked off Instagram, but I'll put it on there as long as I leave.

Won't be a long video. We talked to Lamar Jackson after loss. Oh, oh, oh. I didn't even get to the first question.

And he stayed. Who wouldn't like, be dressed as a sperm and cold and then you go into a warm room and keep it on and he does like a child, just peel that stupid Sperm hat, off it goes from his neck, all the way around his dumb little face, over his chin and just from his lips to his eyebrows. It's just this little face shoots out of the sperm costume. And he wears it in cold weather and then sometimes not. Sometimes he just wears it in warm weather. God, he's ugly. Oh, it's so nice to see him losing. So nice. Sorry, Cardinal fans. You guys knew you're fake, though. I talked about Cardinals football, but there's no point, really. Let's be honest.

[Brett Vesely]

It's rough.

[John Holmberg]

It's. It's stupid. And I've been how long now? Five, six weeks. I've been like, why? You have options. Just go cheer for something else. When you're watching Bill Bidwell show up at restaurants before the game is over, and I happen to see that firsthand. Why are you wasting your time watching this team? Wait until the bid wells sell it and then buy season tickets.

[Byron]

Now you're going to be waiting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. That's the saddest part. But Michael needs to just step away. Do what? If he loves this team, he needs to unload it because he. At a certain point, you have to recognize, I don't think I'm good at this.

[Byron]

Runs in the family. That additional 50% increase. Season tickets.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Keep raising the prices. You're right, it runs in the family. Because Bill was as oblivious and he raised an oblivious boy to say, it's not our fault ever.

Imagine the press conference. Michael Bidwell came up behind the podium and said, I just. After years and years of doing this badly, I think what's best for the team is if I leave. I fired a million coaches. I fired a million GMs. I've retooled the front. I've retooled the Front Office 100 times, and we're still the exact same thing. And I'm the only thing still here.

I mean, in a game where everybody fires the coach, everybody fires the gm. You get rid of quarterbacks when they just don't. It's a game about performance. Or when you don't do it in the. And then at the end, there's one dude who's always been there going, what do we do? It's you, asshole. You're the problem.

It's him. It's the name Bidwell. That's it. That's it. Because if he went away, I think the team's like, would they take a big breath and go, who's next? And he might not be better, but he can't be Worse.

[Byron]

No. Who's going to take that gig?

[John Holmberg]

Anybody who wants billions of dollars. That's the only reason he's there. Who's going to take the gig of owning the Cardinals?

[Byron]

Not owning.

Coaching.

[John Holmberg]

Coaching, yeah. You'll take it because you're at rock bottom and you get a great draft pick. Somebody. Somebody will take that job. But the problem is they won't realize that they're strapped to Bill Bidwell. Some Cowboy fans get it. They're like, we won't win anything until Jerry's dead. The Raiders fans understood it till the Davis family's not involved, especially when Al was around. We're not going to do anything. And now the Dutch boys up there, and he's worse than Al. Let's get rid of the Holt. The family has to go.

It's fantastic. The Chiefs are out of the playoffs. Pretty just. I mean, it's just.

It's, you know, sorry, Cardinal fans. Sorry, Bears fans. It's ejaculatory Monday, I think we should call it. Because if you want to be happy and no one knows a Raven fan. Like, no, there's no decent person with. Yeah, like, you don't work with a Raven fan because they're all on government help. Like, none of them actually have jobs. Nobody's sitting next to a Ravens fan at work who's like, boy, that guy's on the up. He's gonna. He's. He's fucking for that promotion. No one's ever said that to her. And outside of Baltimore, which they're. I don't even think they have jobs in Baltimore. I think they just all line up every Monday for DES help, and then they get their checks, the whole city. But outside of Baltimore, I don't think there's a single human being that's like, I'm a Ravens fan and I'm your boss. I mean, you have the worst job ever. Like, how dumb are you? You can't pass that guy up.

Love the Ravens. What did Lamar say last night? No one knows. He's never said a word of English. It's amazing.

Just know he was crying. Oh, he's so ugly. Anyway, I'm so happy. And then I had nightmare fuel before I went to bed and read a story about a disease that this lady had and she didn't know that she had. And she was in her twenties. She was cute. So I saw the picture and it said, you won't believe what this girl has. Kind of clickbait, but not really, because I looked to see if it says sponsored. It didn't she had. I wrote it down, the name of the thing. She had a disease.

Where her head was just kind of resting on her neck. It wasn't attached, and no one knew. And she'd get sick every once in a while and throw up, and she got dizzy a lot, and she was not, you know, she didn't do great all the time. So she was kind of.

I don't know, a little bit off. But she's. Look, she. This is her in the hospital. She's kind of pretty even in the hospital, Right. That girl's head isn't attached. So the. Whatever it is, that bone connects your head to your back. It's kind of sitting on top of each other, just teetering. And the muscles and tendons kind of kept their head on. But if you'd have hit the brakes too hard in the car, her head would have fallen off.

[Byron]

Headache?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she had headaches now and again. She was struggling with that. But she's like. She'd go to the doctor since she was a kid. She's like, I just don't feel right. My head hurt. I throw up for no reason here and there. And they're like, wow. Then they thought she had, like, an eating disorder. So her parents are like, she's fatigued. She's dizzy all the time because she can't keep food down. We think she's doing it. Then the doctors just. And then she started, like, passing out, and like, she's having anxiety attacks. Like, no. Then some doctor finally said, let me do an MRI and an X ray. And she has a condition. Where the hell is the name of this thing? It's horrifying. Oh, I can't find it. But she says, you can feel how loose my head is. It just sort of flops. And I can put it back in its place, but it's barely hanging on, like, a dislocated ankle. But her jugular vein is one of the things that's holding her head on. So all the stuff.

[Byron]

So she's like, pinch that probably.

[John Holmberg]

No. The whole time she's been alive, she's just been lucky that nobody ever bonked her in the back of the head. Or she got into a car that somebody had to smash the brakes on because they're like, you're literally a fast stop away from this thing. You're being internally decapitated. Because once that thing separates, it's going to split your spine. Like, the stuff. Their spinal cord was more thread holding you together.

[Byron]

Jugular.

[John Holmberg]

It's like everything I fix at my house don't touch it. It's. It's just. It looks right, but it isn't. And it's good. It's going to fall apart. Yeah. This chick had.

[Byron]

God, the name where they put rods in her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They fixed her up. They. It's hypermobile Ehlers Danlos syndrome. Whoa. And they get. They. She got it in her late 20s. They diagnosed her and they're like, you've had this since you were like a two year old, like when you were developing and stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

So she's really got no neck or.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, look at her. She's gorgeous. No, she's got a neck. She's a very pretty girl. No one would ever know. No doctor ever looked and said, there's nothing physically wrong with you. It's just her spine and stuff. Never, like, attached to other parts. So the head was just jugular, some spinal cord stuff, and some muscles, and the whole thing's just like hanging by a thread. One quick stop in a car, it's off and just dangling, just.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yep.

She said, yeah. My physical symptoms were all too real. Real and debilitating. I was dismissed. I started to question my own mental health. Like, is. Am I just a big baby? Does everybody feel what I feel? And I'm. I'm just being extremely babyish. Nope. You've got. It's. Basically, they're saying it's unstable joints, really easy to dislocate. So any next time I. And she's throwing up and she's like, every time I throw up, I'd almost pass out. It's because her head was about to fall off and she was born. I didn't know you could be born with that.

And I thought, as I read it, I'm like, God, I hope Lamar Jackson has this because this would be the ultimate, like, patch on a jersey someday. Lamar's head's fallen off. There's like a sperm pointing down on the field. We can't. It's still sort of attached, but it's straight down to his feet. We don't get it. And then later, upside down microphones will be in his face. My head fell off. Like, this is great. His head fell off.

And I don't want it to fall off from, like, someone else doing it. I want it to just pop off his body. Like it's running away from his body because it's. His body kicked it out because it's so ugly. But, yeah, you can get it. And why people that are beautiful have to catch it. And why people like Lamar Jackson. Don't have it. Are proof there's no God. But yeah, that's. If you're ever interested in it, look into it, because hypermobile. And ironically, the hypermobile. Ehlers Danlos syndrome is HETS, so they call it heads. Irony.

[Brett Vesely]

Imagine mouth hugs from her.

[John Holmberg]

Kick it too rough with her.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

Don't grab that ponytail. It'll have a head in your hands like. Ah. So getting blown by Ichabod Crane. Man.

[Brett Vesely]

Don'T pull in the mirrors too hard.

[John Holmberg]

Her name was Caitlin Brooks. Doctors were like, one false move and that thing's coming off. You could have done it in your sleep if you just turned too hard or you bonked your head on the. Anything. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You couldn't press her up against the back, you know?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Smash. That hurts my head.

[Byron]

Shut up.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus, you're a baby. Had no idea her head was almost off. I'm gonna pass out. That's right.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what I thought.

[Byron]

It's me.

[John Holmberg]

Put your ass to sleep. I'm like ice cube. Nope, her head was coming off. I know there's a lot of guys and a lot of women out there thinking, God, I wish my husband or wife had that. So today, if you're mad at your husband or wife, walk up behind them and push the back of their head and just see, it's like, can't get blamed for it. You won't even be a Dateline special. Yep. Now it's still attached. Damn it. But, you know, few of the lucky ones will just have that Plinko moment where the thing just plops down and you can't even see it anymore.

Horrifying.

Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos syndrome.

And I would like to.

Pray to Brady's God.

Dear Brady's God, I know you hate Baltimore or you wouldn't have done that to it. Could you please maybe throw some heads at Lamar, if you don't mind, and just put that on him and the next time he gets hit, it just pops off. His little sperm hat stays on his head and that's how he's. That's how we last see him. Oh. He's on a stretcher with his head, laying on his own chest, giving a thumbs up. And then it starts. A Lamar Jackson foundation for people whose heads fall off. Thank you. Amen. Amen. Lamb of God.

Oh, why do pretty people get heads? Never heard of it. I can't give you head. Why? Cuz I'd literally. We would. You'd be holding it I'd be giving you head. That's creepy. Let's try.

[Brett Vesely]

What's the problem?

[John Holmberg]

If a hot girl said she had that, would you still?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah, me too.

[Byron]

I'd be very gentle.

[John Holmberg]

No, me. I'd rattle that cage.

And I'd be like, is this contagious? And then I'd buy two tickets to Baltimore. I'd fly her out there and I'd be like, just go. Rub up against that dude dressed as a sperm.

Aren't this beautiful lady rubbing up? How you doing? Hi, sperm. My name's Lamar. Why are you dressed like a sperm? Cause I'm cold.

I'm cold. I found this hat and I thought this would look good. You were wrong. Anyway, Steelers beat him and I got. There it is. There he is, dressed as a sperm yesterday.

Why don't you take that off?

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe it's to keep his neck straight. You know, maybe he's got the same thing.

[John Holmberg]

He does it in multiple interviews and I don't get it. I think he's wise to cover some of his face publicly. I think that should be like. He should be Middle Eastern, a female. Like, he should be forced. We should force Lamar Jackson to wear a hijab and cover that up. Not for religious purposes, just so we can finish eating. He's horrendous looking, and the sperm hat somehow makes him uglier. Like, there is a thing when you watch him in the sperm hat and you think to yourself, if he took that off, he'd be a little better. But then he takes it off, you're like, oh, God, put the sperm hat back on.

[Byron]

First thing you said, hey, he's on my tv.

[John Holmberg]

He's in that. He's in that Mike TV outfit. He's so ugly. Look at that. Andy lost and cried yesterday and I'm happy. Nothing makes me happier on this planet. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Birth of your kids.

[Brett Vesely]

You.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know happiness till you've seen Lamar Jackson crying and it means something to you.

Oh, and then Brady's God can give him heads. Please, Lord Jesus of Brady, could you give Lamar's heads?

Ahaha. Man, cheese, God, blood and crackers.

Please. Anyway, anybody else have a good weekend? Not that good. Mine was great. Just great. And if you are a person with heads, I'd love to have you out this week at Homework After Dark and just gently place you in the back of the stage. Just at any moment now, fireworks could happen. You start laughing too hard at something Lovett says, your head pops Off.

Could be great. Anyway, let's get some music there for the wake up song. Her last full week of 2025 working. How about that?

[Brett Vesely]

It's amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Believe that. Five more days of a full week and then we half ass it for a couple more next week and we're out of dodge till the 26 rolls around. Crazy. This was a quick one. Let's get a wake up song and scream it together. 5859 800. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up.

[Byron]

Hey, it's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

It's the holidays and Hooters is serving up the cheer. Grab a friend and dive into the pick three. Just $10.99 per person, minimum two people. You get one appetizer, two entrees and two drinks, all for just one festive price. And while you're there, snag the perfect stocking stuffer. The 2026 Hooters calendar. Packed with over $150 in coupons. Plus, when you buy $25 in Hooters gift cards, you'll get $5 in bonus bucks this season. Give the gift of wings. Give the gift of hooters. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and you hear me all the time talking about my friends at Lost our home pet rescue. We do the pick of the litter and it's brought to you by our friends at Turf Monsters AZ.com Every week I head over to lost our home pet rescue and I meet a brand new beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at Lost our home is unbelievable. Not just your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situations. Look him up online. Lost our home.org and check out everything we do at 98kupd.com in the pick of the litter section.

Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

Only seven more times with the gang from miles to nowhere and their amazing theme song for our show for 2025. Excellent work, Miles to nowhere. Go see them somewhere if you have a chance. They are a fun band. Katie and the Hobbs a couple years ago, laughing our asses off at them last year. Fantastic. And all year long we've been praising them. So they won our hearts and our minds.

Kelly Turley says lamar Jackson looks like Sandra Bernhardt to me. And I'm like, oh my God, they're the same. Remember Sandra Bernhardt?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm trying.

[John Holmberg]

She was like, a 90s comedian with this weird.

[Byron]

Madonna's best friend.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she was Madonna's pal for a while and she did comedy and she wrote like opinion pieces and she was like an a writer and she wasn't ever funny. I didn't get it. She was just weird looking and that's why she got famous. And you're right, she is a white female. Lamar Jackson.

So true.

So real. And everybody's emailing me their.

Horror stories of driving to Queen Creek. If you don't live in Queen Creek, you don't understand what we're talking about. But you know, if you were in Queen Creek and somebody had a party in Glendale, you wouldn't go. Absolutely not.

[Brett Vesely]

My car broke down. Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Queen Creek's just too far.

Like I think. I think you can throw rocks and hit Casa Grande. Right.

Just on the other side of that hill. There has to be like ice raids like crazy just near there.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, you're near Florence and everything else out there.

[John Holmberg]

A great house though. And I said, geez, Shane, this is a beautiful home because, yeah, it's 453,000 square feet. And I'm like, that's the biggest. That's a. That's the Empire State Building. Goes, yeah, said if you don't mind, what'd you pay for it? And he goes, $130. I'm like, my God, that's. The prices out here are incredible.

[Byron]

Goodbye.

[John Holmberg]

Kind of made it worth it to make the track, but my Lord, I didn't realize it till you're about 38 minutes into the drive and you look at the GPS and you're still 15 or 16 minutes away. Like, how is this happening?

But good on him. That's a beautiful place. And he sold stuff. I ended, I think I'm buying a golf simulator and a golden tee. Because he. What are you doing? Come on. Look, he has a toy room and I have Peter Pan complex. So I went in there and I'm like, I don't have that and that's something I want. So I already got on the horn with Meathead over at Prestige Billiards were we're making a swaparoo on Wednesday. It's happening. I can't live without it now. Now that I've seen it and played it. Spectacular.

This flat. Great. And Brady, since you've had your kidney issues, I have been doing research because I care about things to, you know, answer questions if someone has them. When they ask me, how's Brady this and that, I'm like, I don't know. I just Know anything about kidney. So my algorithm has kind of gotten. Especially because I was searching while you were in the hospital. Like, what's that mean? What's that mean? And found out a bunch of things and kind of got a little educated on the kidney situation. Not like, overly, but enough to know that if someone's talking about your problem or someone is, you know, saying, oh, I had this, that I could be a little bit of a, you know, more educated in the conversation. But due to those searches, I now get all sorts of kidney transplant and kidney disease stories. Did you see the one about the dude who finally got the transplant and the dude had rabies?

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, Wait, what? Yeah, so, you know, all Brady's doing when he gets cleared is rooting for people to die in car wrecks so he can get himself a kidney. That's just basically what people. I've read that too. And deep down, that's not what they talk about. And I don't need a transplant, so I can speak openly. But people who do watch the news different than all the rest of us, they see car crashes and they're like, how young and how healthy were the people in the car? And then they make phone calls to their doctors, like agents. Hey, saw that car crash over there on the freeway. That's by Globe. One of those for me. And they, you know, sorry about that. That's going to another. Damn it. It's like getting roles in Hollywood. What you guys are gonna. They're hard to get, and you're really shooting for a few good ones. So if you see a car wreck up on a. You know what I'd be doing if I was you? Is just flashing people on that horrible 95 on your way to Vegas. Just go up to WikiUp or something and just stand on the side of the road and for no reason at all, just lift your shirt up and then watch that car just snake off into the desert and go, got one. It's like fishing for kidneys. This dude got somebody. He was rooting for it, made the call, he saw the car wreck. How young are the people? He goes, this one's yours. It's like a healthy 24 year old. All right, Yahoo runs down to the hospital. They gotta get this thing in him. Toot sweet. Like, they looked at him. This guy's on the donor list. Is he healthy as a horse. Plop it right inside of him. Didn't know that the dude had been bitten by something and had rabies and put his rabies infested kidney right inside of this dude. And he ended up getting rabies and dying.

All that waiting.

[Byron]

Because he rescued a raccoon.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It was an Idaho based donor at a hospital and they'd met in Ohio. The recipient started feeling, oh, I don't think my kidney's taken. And they come back and was like, you have no infection. You're not rejecting it. We don't know what's going on. Have you been bitten by a wolverine or anything recently? Goes, I don't think so. So you'd know.

No, wildlife has taken a chunk out of me. It's like, that's weird. He's trouble swallowing, had a fever. His nervous system started going. They're like, this is no good. 51 days after the transplant, he croaks dead from rabies.

[Byron]

It's a good 51 day.

[John Holmberg]

Most of it was sick. Brady, stop it. You can't put rose colored glasses on this. So here's another thing we got to worry about for Brady is that his new kidney in a few months, whenever he decides to take that dead kid's kidney and put it in his body that the kid had rabies. So check for bite wounds on the victim.

[Brett Vesely]

If Brady wasn't sitting here, I would.

[John Holmberg]

Think it was Brady.

[Brett Vesely]

Need the transplant animal. But come on.

[John Holmberg]

It's good. But if anybody is going to get rabies in their new kidney and ruin it for the dead kid in the car because they won't give you a kidney until you clear all the tests. Right. So you've got a few months to wait before you can actually even get on the list. Yeah. Unless.

[Byron]

And your function has to drop down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you have to drop out of the. So if you dropped off, they'd be like, let's get him fast. But right now you're going good enough to the. They're like, let's just make sure he's in the clear from the cancer part.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then. And then we'll put a new Kidney.

[Byron]

Yeah. After two years from the operation.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Like 18 months after the day they took it. And then. And then they start saying, all right, you can get a transplant now let's keep an eye on you and put you there. So if you get to that point in a year and a half and they get. Make sure that the kid that's giving it to you go inspect the body is what I'm saying. Put a little Ed Gein move and just go, what are these bite marks? I don't want this one. And then when it gets put in you, you can't go Handling wildlife anymore because that kid gave you his kidney. So you got to treat it a little better than risk rabies. You can't risk rabies anymore like you do now.

[Byron]

Who knows? Maybe in two years they're 3D printing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, hope so. That'd be great. Then you don't have to worry about kids dying in wrecks like you like. Like you are now. It's really gonna stink in month 16 or 17 if like a whole busload of donors goes off a cliff. Come on, this couldn't have happened a month from now. Come on.

[Byron]

Seats taken.

[John Holmberg]

It's like 14 good ones on there.

[Byron]

Ah, nuts.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's walking through the hospital.

Now. It's still beeping.

How you doing, little shaver? Not so great, sir. The car crash was pretty rough. Mom says you're an organ donor. Yeah, I am, mister.

It's a nice pillow. Can I feel it? Boop. I guess so. Boop. What are you putting up my face? What?

He didn't make it. This one's ready. We get a ripe one. Pull it out.

[Brett Vesely]

Or he just unplugs it. He's gonna charge his iPhone.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I took him in here.

[Byron]

No idea.

[John Holmberg]

Mister. I'm gonna need that machine. That's all right. I'll. I'll plug you back in in a second. You'll be all right for a minute. I'm down to 2%.

[Byron]

Hey, look at some Instagrams.

[John Holmberg]

And just like milk. I ain't touching 2%.

Yeah, you gotta look at my Instagram. And I'm buying myself some stuff because I'm gonna make it.

Thanks to you, Timmy. Yeah, organ organ donors. Yeah, they're. They don't realize what they've done to organ kneaders.

You can't help it. You would never watch if you needed your kidney tomorrow, the news and see that there was a horrible car crash of, you know, 19 year old, a football team, you know, like a Division 3, nobody cares football team off a gorge and they find all their bodies and you would watch that and just go, yeah. If you needed a kidney when you don't, it's tragic, but you don't.

[Byron]

Hey, sorry about your loss.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you wouldn't ever see that on the news and go, I hope they all make it. Nuh. Deep down, you know you're not gonna say that.

Maybe if some make it.

You know, the weaker kicker or something. I don't want his kidney anyway. I want a linebacker kidney. But rabies, you got to worry about that now.

It's just second rabies. Story in a week in the kidneys.

[Byron]

The guy rescued a raccoon.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Well that guy, that's probably a lot more rescue. Will you? This is where we have to change your brain. He didn't rescue the raccoon. He picked up a woodland creature and played with it whether it needed help or not. That's just the way the world works. Rescued a rat. They don't need us. Leave them alone. You're going to end up with it.

Rescued a raccoon. The only thing you do to a raccoon needs help is kick it off the side of the road so it doesn't get squashed into eating bread. No, don't. It doesn't need you. Your arrogance can take a break. The raccoon's dying on his own. When is a raccoon ever seen one of us on the side of the road and gone over and pulled us? Look, let's help it. They don't need us and we don't need them. Only in Disney movies do woodland creatures pick up the princess and move her. You get hit by a car. You lay on the side of the car. You know the only thing they do? Eat ya. Because they're not hypocrites.

That's the way we should do it. The West Virginia style. You see a raccoon on the side of the road struggling.

[Byron]

Stew.

[John Holmberg]

You put a shovel on its head and you make dinner for five.

This says something else. Brady. And you should know about kidney transplants. A patient will get a kidney from someone approximately the same age. I have a dear friend, 75, who took himself off the transplant list due to the fact that he was looking to get a 75 year old kidney. He only go through kidney surgery if there's a chance of having to go through another surgery after that old ass kidney failed. Yeah. I demand teen kidneys. Teen kidneys is a good band name.

Demand it. But Brady makes sure you're tested for rabies. And so is the dead kid that you're stealing organs from. Ed Gein.

Make sure of it. You didn't have rabies, did he? That's the first thing you need to ask.

Please, for God's sakes be smarter than this.

[Byron]

Got any pets? Yes, he has a pet raccoon.

Next.

[John Holmberg]

I'll wait for another dead kid. Brady's driving around looking at those crosses on the i17, dusting them off when in this one go. Oh, 25. Hey, we got one.

[Byron]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm calling about the wreck that happened up here on bloody Basin road in the 17. Is that kid still in the. Is he all right? He didn't make it. I'm on my way.

[Byron]

Stop by Banner Gateway every day. What's going on?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Got any people on their last legs?

[Byron]

Disease free.

[John Holmberg]

Where's that girl whose head falls off? Where is she? I want to push her. She an organ downer? Yeah. Brady doesn't ask you if you're an organ donor now because of philanthropy. He's got ulterior motives. He's going to do spike strips on the 60 trying to get people to.

[Byron]

There he is.

[John Holmberg]

Roll him out.

But you got a ways to go. So you're not thinking about it yet?

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

But you will be.

And you know it. That's the worst part. I need a kidney now. It's the saddest part of organ donation. They don't have, like, a fridge full of frozen kidneys like you do when you get a side of beef. That stuff's got to go right from the warmth of the corpse into the warmth of you.

Like, within a day. My friend's a transplant doctor. He invented some sort of weird thing that makes brain dead people more brain dead or something. I don't know how it works. He clips off their jugular and sends the blood back into the organs so they're healthier. Well, he can harvest them while they're technically still kind of hanging around, but their brains don't work.

I've seen pictures. Yeah. I didn't realize how big a liver was.

Liver chunks up like most of your chest cabinets. It's huge.

[Byron]

Well, they can remove part of it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's gargantuan. I had no idea how big a liver was until I said, because I think of it like when you're eating liver, which I wouldn't do. But when you see that doesn't look so gross. Grossest food ever. I was like, how do we make this taste better? Onions. Like, loads of them.

If you want never to have sex again, eat liver and onions and then just lay in your own stink. Anyway, we're worried about you a little bit, Brady, on this thing. Getting rabies. Because Brett's right. You're candidate A and 1A for having a guy give you a kidney and then giving that guy's kidney rabies. The fact you've dodged rabies is beyond all of us.

So I had this pet raccoon when I was a kid. I'm like, how did he do it? How did he do it? Rachel lived in her attic until she started to try to kill my sister. But they do that it was cute. It's in the basement or attic.

[Byron]

The raccoon was found in the attic.

[John Holmberg]

Found and kept are two different things. Because you made sure to it was in your bedroom.

[Byron]

Yeah, he stayed my bedroom.

[John Holmberg]

How? How Earth. How has he not gotten rabies? They found a raccoon in his basement. And Bray's like, that's mine.

[Byron]

It's at my grandfather's house.

[John Holmberg]

And his parents are like, okay, roof. If you found a raccoon in the house and tried to befriend it, Solution from Kirk.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, five across the mountain.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're getting smacked and that thing's getting killed and kicked the hell out of here. Yeah. But your parents are like, neato. And you kept a raccoon in the house. That's insanity.

[Byron]

With the ferret.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Found ferret or purchased?

[Byron]

Purchased.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, good.

[Byron]

My brother got the carrot.

[Brett Vesely]

How long did you have the raccoon for?

[Byron]

Until it started biting until it ate my room.

[John Holmberg]

It started tear stuff up.

Because it was a wild animal imprisoned by Brady, who thought he was giving it a better life.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

And it was just days away from giving him rabies.

If you're an organ donor, by all means make a call today and say, hey, I don't think I want my organs in Brady. He's just going to give him rabies.

But this I thought of with you when I saw that story. I'm like, oh, my God, we're going to read about this again someday. Rabies, guys putting them. Putting their organs in each other. Be careful.

And also, Cinnabon was in the news this weekend. That was pretty.

[Byron]

Sure was.

[John Holmberg]

That was pretty sweet. It's not their fault. Cinnabon's great. You can't walk by a Cinnabon without thinking, I think I love Cinnabon. Like, there's no way you can go buy one and not get hungry. You could eat a full meal and walk by a Cinnabon and go, oh, my God, I gotta have a Cinnabon. That smell electric. And I think I'd let the girl behind the counter call me the N word like nine times for a delicious. You know what I noticed in the video? If you're not paying attention, a girl at Cinnabon and the people were sounded African. And she said, yeah, I'm racist and you're a like, whoa, you're just buying a cinnamon bun.

[Byron]

A little aggressive right off the bat.

[John Holmberg]

How bad did that transaction go that it turned into that all the dude wanted was a toasty cinnamon bun.

[Byron]

Yeah. What? What?

[John Holmberg]

How do you end up Getting opener. How do you end up getting called for? Just asking for a Cinnabon. You got it. And make it snappy. Oh, you.

[Byron]

Excuse me, Are you racist?

[John Holmberg]

How many. How many things have to go wrong for the girl at Cinnabon to hand you that bag and then start hitting you with N bombs? Also I noticed you never saw the bag go back.

The people recording that were getting called the N word. They hung onto that Cinnabon for dear life. That thing ain't going back to we're gonna eat this. But I won't tolerate. I'm breaking my phone out. What happened? Like I need to know.

[Byron]

I want to make sure. Just so you know, she was fired. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Cinnabon said we got rid of her. Of course you did. But what. Tell us what happened to go from hi, welcome to Cinnabon.

[Byron]

Can I help you?

[John Holmberg]

Because I know that it's go. Hi, welcome to Cinnabon. Can I help you? I can't play. Oh, do they beep it?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, they beep it.

[John Holmberg]

It. It's crazy. Are you recording? I'm. I'm going to record you.

[Byron]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Do you want me to throw water on you? I am racist anyway.

[Byron]

You are idiot.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm not racist. And I'll say that to the whole entire. There's this Cinnabon in his hand. He's not giving that back.

[Byron]

Ruin your life, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, talking about.

[Byron]

You talk about respect.

[John Holmberg]

You're talking about respect. You are fired from this place, mother. You're not gonna be walking here. Suck it. Look how you look at what sounds to you.

Man. How bad did it get from hi, welcome to Cinnabon. I'll just have a Cinnabon, cuz that's all they've got.

The out of you.

How bad?

[Byron]

That's how we roll on Wisconsin.

[Brett Vesely]

Typical packers fan for you, right?

[John Holmberg]

But again, watch the video closer. He's still hanging on to that Cinnabon he got from her. Would you eat that? No. That's how good. Cinnabon is a racist. Called you the N word eight times and she made you that Cinnabon and you kept it.

[Brett Vesely]

Company announces termination.

[John Holmberg]

Of course. I mean, come on. But I'm more interested in the dude.

[Brett Vesely]

Her career at Cinnabon's.

[John Holmberg]

She was on the fast track for management. Now she's not. And she was going to be the next Gene Takovich got hired at Popeyes.

[Byron]

She's gonna never once last.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll go there never once.

[Byron]

Five minutes.

[John Holmberg]

Did dude put the package back?

[Byron]

No, he kept it.

[John Holmberg]

I know you would keep it. You did the shoulder shrug. So I assume. Well, I mean, it's not Cinnabon's fault.

[Byron]

Because not only I got these delicious rolls, but I have this video gold.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, no, but you. You don't. You don't get it because you're white. I think you have to think like a black man. She revealed herself. What? What didn't I know about this? If she's that racist, there's no way she's making, you know, health acceptable treats for all the black employees or black customers.

[Brett Vesely]

She's got the special tray of. For them.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. And there's no possible way after the employee at Cinnabon calls you the N word five times that you keep the Cinnabon. But that's how good Cinnabon ass. I will eat around the hate and spit. A dude ate it and later he was like, can you believe that.

Cinnamon? Called it NW five times. Do you have any more frosting? Oh. Oh, it's so good.

[Brett Vesely]

I just think about the guy that you knew that was making the ranch and was just exactly right in it.

[John Holmberg]

We were at a. I worked at Gallagher's 30 years ago, and he was talking to me. A five gallon bucket, stirring up the ranch dressing, mayonnaise, milk, and whatever that powder is. I don't know what's going to happen this weekend. The bears don't. The bears don't have a better friend. Like, what's the. What was that? Huh? Nothing. Right? I don't know what you're talking about. Are you spitting in the bucket? Yeah, it's five gallons. Nobody's gonna know.

And then I was scooping out those little cups for prep out of that bucket, thinking, is this the one? Is this the one?

Any employee calls you the N word. They have revealed what they do to the food. I ask all black people listening to email and saying, thank you for the Cinnabon. And then even if they say, have a nice day, like what? Here, keep this. I'm not eating what you make. But that's how good Cinnabon is. Even a black person getting called the N word five or six times didn't give it back.

Probably shared it with his kids.

Well, maybe not that, but probably shared it with us, whoever that lady was with him yelling. But yeah, that was a. That was a good one. I don't blame Cinnabon. We got to stop doing stuff like that.

[Byron]

What happened at your last job?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, what are you asking me that for? Okay, I remember the video.

Yeah. I don't know where she'll Nobody's gonna remember her. And that's it. I mean, as a. As a man of whiteness, I don't know what that feels like, but I know it exists. You black people constantly buy things from racists. They don't even know it. And the racists do a pretty good job of protecting their money by not being outwardly racist. But when they do it that way, they're doing horrible stuff. Especially if they're like, oh, here comes. If you're in Wisconsin.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're like one of three black people. So they're like, oh, here they come. She's prepping for you. I got a Cinnabon for them. No way.

[Brett Vesely]

It's those people at Cinnabon. Michael Parsons. And that's about it in Wisconsin.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Michael Parsons rolls in, and she's probably like. She probably says that white thing. He's one of the good ones. Like, she'll give him a fresh Cinnabon. He helped us beat the birds. Jordan love borderline like, they don't even. They don't even. He's just tan.

But when you've got an accent and you're in Wisconsin, be super hyper aware walking up to the Cinnabon. Hello. Welcome to Cinnabon. Whoa. I will let that slide because it's so delicious.

[Byron]

Order for Romeo Dubs.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let me see. Order for your. Order's up. I believe that is us, honey. Morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible.

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my.

[Byron]

Friend Wayne from AMCO.

[John Holmberg]

And, Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take.

[Byron]

It back to the dealer for service?

[John Holmberg]

No, Larry, if you have an extended service contract, you can use it at any amco. Well, it's nice to have other options. I'll say. Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles and faster service.

[Byron]

Amco does more than just transmissions, right?

[John Holmberg]

Right. If you need car repairs or hear, feel, see, smell, or even think you have a car issue, call Amco first. Just Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness, and I'm chilling away from my friend Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Shane, people wreck their cars. They gotta deal with the insurance companies. Insurance rates have gotten weird. You deal with insurance all the time. What are we doing wrong? I would take the car to a shop. You know, we've got to take the car apart, evaluate all the damage, and that's A process. Right. So Shane will handle that for you. The insurance companies are not going to be your best friends, but Shane will be. Shane Orlando. Orlando Auto Body. All the locations you could ever imagine surrounding the Valley. Homburg's morning sickness.

Are you going to take that from her? Yes. It's not good. They're so good to smell.

It's delicious.

But. Yeah, so I was watching that and I'm like, people are going to blame Cinnabon for this. They don't know. You got to ask questions in the interview that are different now. Are you a racist and have you ever been fired for being racist? And how does she. Does she have any references to Cinnabon going on her next application as a race?

[Byron]

Who's going to say yes?

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's the point, though. She did. I am a racist, if you're curious. Yes, I'm racist. Says it in the video. You might get her to snap, and that should be a requirement also.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, try to get her to snap.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they'll have a.

[Byron]

That's what I want to know. It's like, like you said, there's. There's obviously more to that discussion going on because it turned.

[John Holmberg]

So how. What can go so wrong at a Cinnabon?

[Byron]

Yeah. What did they. What. What was said that triggered.

[John Holmberg]

It's like. It's like taking a little couple steps. Like you're in the mall and then you're in heaven, and you're kind of just standing there. You're next in line at Cinnabon. You're next.

[Byron]

I am the customer.

[John Holmberg]

Everyone. No, you're not. Everyone's happy. Everyone's happy because Cinnabon, they don't have a lot to do. Just keep the buns coming. And there's dudes in the back doing it. And the girls up front are like, you want the little ones or the big ones? Their only job is to put something in a bag, ice it.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And sometimes you do that too, but that's easy. And you put it in the bag and then you just go, bye. What happened? Where did the middle go?

President John said, I've never been to Cinnabon, but it's good to know they actually got a Cinnabon side and an N word bun side of Cinnabon. Yeah. So you're going to get the N word version of the Cinnabuns, and it's going to be. Not frosting. Yeah, I just. I. I want the backstory. I want the thing before the camera started rolling, how awful things had to get from. I'll have two Cinnabons. To getting called the N word. I don't even know how to track that. What could possibly go wrong?

Hello, you fat white.

There we go. Now it makes sense.

[Byron]

It was your boyfriend.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

I am here to order a Cinnabon from Alicia the fat white. What? Who sent you here? You're a. But, yeah, when somebody says are you're a racist, because you will know I am a racist. She's. She's blowing it up. And did she finish the shift? Did the manager need her?

[Byron]

Who's the next customer up.

Chatting with you? Next.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, great. It's Mickle Parsons.

I think. Yeah, but if you're black and in line next. After that. Excuse me, I'll take a Cinnabon. Have a Citibank, please. But not from her. Go to. I want a freshman. I want to see you make it.

Here we go. Another one. Yeah. Do you still. Because it's the smell.

[Byron]

Someone no showed at work.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, she's mad. She's not supposed to be there. The manager's like, could you just stop calling the customers to N word and just finish the shift and then we'll talk. Well, you're one of them, too. No, Gene. What are you one of them? Lovers, like, look, I just want to get rid of the buns and go home. I'm a Cinnabon manager. Things aren't working out for me already. Don't put me on tape.

Oh, Gene, you think you've got it all figured out with your un Dreams of a happy, diverse world.

[Brett Vesely]

Was this a deleted scene from Better Call Saul?

[John Holmberg]

Gene had to go put a stop to that. I'd have to take you off schedule for a week, but. Yeah, I just. I want to know how that happened. I want to know how things go that sideways. And usually it's the customer losing their mind. Those two made that Cinnabon girl a. That she was mad that they exist.

[Byron]

Had to work on Black Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And, yeah, she's. She's. She's. That's killing her. Black Friday special drags them out. Here they come.

And it went from those two walking by going, let's get a Cinnabon. How bad could today be? I love you. I love you. Cinnabon in hand.

[Byron]

Never had it before.

[John Holmberg]

I hear the smell. Look, I'm hypnotized. Welcome to Cinnabon. What?

It had to start there. It had to start there. But, you know.

I think all job interviews for low level positions should be done by someone of the opposite race. And the Job interview should be an attempt to antagonize them.

[Byron]

Pressure.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just if you're a black interviewer on a crazy white girl, you should say stuff like, do you mix races in relationships? Like, that should be the first question. And just see what she says. If she looks at, like, she's even, like, gets a little grouchy face. What the hell's that about?

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds like Chevy Chase and Richard Pryor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's one of the greatest Saturday Night Live things ever. That was a job interview. Yep, that's right. Yeah, we should show them that. And if they laugh at it, we can't work here.

Should have Brett interview everybody and find out if they. Yeah, it's all right. Say it. Do you ever use terrible language like, I don't know.

[Byron]

Oh, my God, Dead honk.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead, say it. Say it to me. I want to hear you say it. And you know, if she said it before and how she says in an interview and you want to risk it.

Man.

Cinnabon. And if you were next in line, would you still after all that, Brett would. Oh, I would. Will you guys hurry up?

[Brett Vesely]

I couldn't get out of line. I'd be laughing too much.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you. And I'd be on the floor like Curly from the Three Stooges, just spinning and running in place. But how. Yeah, how's the next day going? Wow, that went sideways. Anyway, I'll have a large Cinnabon and two of the baby Cinnabons. You want a Coke? No, I'd get Coke somewhere else. I'm going to Coke for me. Coke and try to get my teeth to fall out today. Just want to Cinnabon. There's like a gallon of milk back there.

[Byron]

You find out that the couple filming was. They own the Cineholics, rival company.

[John Holmberg]

They're anti ants.

[Brett Vesely]

They're down there.

[John Holmberg]

Pretzel shop is getting killed by the cinnamon people.

[Byron]

Watch this.

[John Holmberg]

I'll go down there and make them call me a. You go, honey. Save the Auntie ants.

One Cinnabon, please. Cracker. And he didn't film that part. That part wasn't on tape. And that just sent that little hillbilly into a rage.

That's one place I've never understood. You get an African accent.

And you left Africa, I'm assuming. Why would you land in Wisconsin and stick around? That's worse.

I'd rather wear, you know, Kansas City Chiefs 2024 World Champion shirts and walk around in poverty than live in Wisconsin as a black man with an African accent. And we see why he can't get a Cinnabon without it turning into 1963.

Anyway. God, now I'm talking about it that much.

[Brett Vesely]

Now you want to Cinnabon Cinnabon from her.

[John Holmberg]

The angrier the Cinnabon, the better.

It's made with hate. It's just a drip. Fresh hate drifts with hate. It melts a little better in your mouth. Man, these racist Cinnabons are good.

But I hate that Cinnabon got into the news for it because you can't say. And it's. It makes you know it's different when it's like McDonald's or something that happens. You're like, you can see one of those people cracking Cinnabon. You're around that smell all day, probably a little dizzy. It's still work. But.

There'S no, there's nobody coming in like Brady, 7 year old, a boy in culottes ordering a grilled Cinnabon with cheese. It's like they can't special it. We don't have anything but the ingredients that make a Cinnabon. That's it. We have the breading. We have. What is the, what is that called? The bread? That's some sort of special dough. They used to call it monkey bread, but I don't think you can do that. But then she would. Yeah. Oh, she would do it. And then your frosting's got cinnamon. They've got cinnamon.

[Byron]

They've got the orange frosting.

[John Holmberg]

They do, yeah. Oh, you've been. I thought just one.

[Brett Vesely]

That was one thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Who would ever deviate from the perfect recipe of Cinnabon to try another frosting?

[Byron]

I think you can get other stuff on there.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's perfect as is. Who adds to a Cinnabon? What are you, Emeril?

[Brett Vesely]

Communist.

[John Holmberg]

Communist, exactly. I think you're mom. Donnie, if you're going in there special ordering a Cinnabar Cinnabon, well, no wonder she lost her mind. Why would you screw with perfection? It's like telling Picasso nose is crooked. Oh, get out, get out.

Oh, no, no.

The rolls and then the little rolls. That's it. They have big and they have mini. Oh, just the pictures on the screen are getting me.

If. Do I get a discount if you throw the N bomb at me, I'll take it.

[Brett Vesely]

I. Oh, they got turtle bonds.

[John Holmberg]

I wonder if I could talk my. If I talk about.

[Byron]

They're only 1100 calories. Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

If I had my black friends in the car be like, you guys want to Cinnabon? It's like, yeah, I Know where I get them free. But I need you to come with me.

Why, man? What's going on? Just follow me and I'm gonna throw a thumb at you. And he wants one too. What do you think of that? I'm not making Cinnabons for any. Yeah, these are free. We bought five of them. And we're taping it. Is he taping me? He sure is. We knew you'd do this. We went five free Cinnabons. We'll leave you alone. I guarantee you. If that was a Garrett. I wonder. I'm white, so I don't know. I wonder if being called that for free meals at places you love would be worth it. Because remember when Chick Fil a hated gays, but the lines were around the block. Like, even gays are like. It's so good.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll deal.

[John Holmberg]

I think if you. One racial slur per drive through and it's not like, threatening. It's just the word. But you get free food for it. I. I think I'd take advantage of that.

But again, I'm speaking from the. I've never had anybody and it doesn't bother me if you called me a cracker. I think it's hilarious. So I don't care about racial slurs. To me Swedes, we don't like. What am I, a meatball?

[Byron]

Ha, ha.

[John Holmberg]

Who cares? Even me being not Jewish, getting all the Jewish jokes. And I found out my dad this weekend when he was in the Air Force because he hung out with a bunch of Jews. They just gave him Jewish dog tags. My dad's dog tags are Jewish. Because they just say, you're hanging out with that Cohen kid. You must be one of them. And they tossed him as dog tags. And they were Jewish. His faith said Jewish. He's like Holmberg. They just assumed it. Like. You didn't say anything. He's. No, he said it got me into, like, the accounting thing. It literally got him into, like, doing work that wasn't Vietnam work. He was just in some sort of weird.

[Brett Vesely]

You're good with numbers, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Get him over there. He can count. He was doing inventory for things and Company clerk. Yeah. End up in Alaska fishing with a couple of guys. Like, how did this happen? He goes, I don't know. We got out, though. I like it. It's better than Vietnam. Shalom. So I didn't know that. And my dad pretended to be Jewish too. Get you out of a lot of stuff. Like father, like son.

And then I didn't know about this, but you know, the movie awards season's kind of coming up and they're doing all the nominations, all the things. And then I saw. I didn't. Did you guys know Richard Gere is banned from the Oscars for 20 years? Did you know why he made a speech about Tibet?

[Byron]

Because he's buddies with the Dalai Lama.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Will Smith took a swing at a dude, got banned for 10 years. Richard Gere went up and said some stuff about the Tibetan monks and, like, peace and Tibet and.

[Brett Vesely]

How many years ago was that, though?

[John Holmberg]

Like, 93. It's been. But he's. He was banned for 20 years and.

[Byron]

What he said really wasn't that.

[John Holmberg]

No, I watched it last night, maybe.

[Byron]

Went on for a while.

[John Holmberg]

But I mean, if that's going to get you banned, they're all out compared.

[Byron]

To what has happened in the past. I mean, after 93. Oh, it became all political for years.

[Brett Vesely]

So he's like the Pete Rose of the Oscar.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he was. Yeah, he was the first one that kind of. Then they legalized gambling. So he just. He was the one who had a political speech like, boo, just say thank you for the movie you were in and say you love Julia Roberts and then get off the stage. And he did, and he gave a political speech. And they used to. Now that's all it is. He has to watch the Oscars and just shove gerbil in. And just to keep him happy, like, that's got to be. I said 10 times less than what Leo's doing. And DiCaprio's never won an award and talked about the movie he was in. It's always about the Earth.

And I also. I'm no longer. By the way, I'm gonna start littering like crazy. I'm no longer at all interested in cleaning the Earth. I'm done. Saturday, I watched a video about how India handles their trash. They don't have landfills there. You know what they do. You know what you do with your garbage? They don't even have, like a pickup. You take the bag, the Hefty bag, to an overpass and pour it in the river.

The whole city. And I'm like, this must be a small town, city of two and a half million. They're majority of them. We built canals for water. They built it to flow water back into the oceans of their trash. And I'm like, there's 330 million Americans. If all of us, we're on the same page with environmental stuff, we wouldn't make a dent in what India and China are doing. Over there, tossing all their stuff in rivers. And the river was just a slew. It was a stew of yuck. Well, I'm done till they step up. I'm out.

[Byron]

They've changed it up a little bit because now they're bringing in barges to hold out. But Venice is just.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, well, Venice doesn't have anywhere to go. And they didn't. They had the decency not to just pour it in the water. They're like, what do we do with this? And, like, maybe a boat will come by every once, and we can throw it in there. Then they'll dump it deeper into the ocean where you don't see it, but you can't do it in the city. It would be like if they built Tempe Town Lake just for the garbage of Tempe. And you could go down there with a Tempe residence card and pour it in the water. And then they release a dam after a big storm and sweep it and then dam it back up when it's full. All right, let's do it again.

[Byron]

So until they build the towns, you know, in Ireland, and they'd build them on a hill.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Byron]

So it'll all run down into the lock.

[John Holmberg]

Piss runs downhill is not just a. A coincidence. That was the thing. And I started. And the reason I thought of this is because I watched that video. And then I was driving my car, and every stoplight, my car dies because of that stupid. Seize. That stupid.

[Byron]

Stop the motor.

[John Holmberg]

After 2018, they cut the engine off if you stop. But I know there's a button for it, so it's meaningless. If I was a president, the first thing I do is go, all right, all car manufacturers, stop that thing. A. It's not doing anything. And have you seen India? Like, let's not pretend that's making a dent in anything. Knock it off.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, once I get ironized Patel to start filming commercials, they'll be. They'll be fine.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not doing it. I am going to litter like nobody's business. Starting today, if I have it in the car, it's going out the window on the freeway. Just watch out behind you. Ridiculous. And. And that'll open some eyes. I'm going to take my garbage over to the canal by my house, just pour it in and go, oh, we're not supposed to do this. No. Tell India, because if I've got to have my car die at every stoplight until I figure out the button. And now they've made it easy on the. On the bronco it's just a button right there. We all hate it here. We made it so you don't even have to. Why? That's a requirement. But it's a. They required it. And then the car companies are like, but we gave you an immediate bypass. Like. Like it's a literal button on your display. Now cars around 2018, they kind of hit it because they have a 2018. I'm like, where is that? Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's the Maserati has that flipping around. Like, I don't even know where this is. It's the dumbest feature in car history.

It's the stupidest thing ever. It's almost like they're saying, well, we can't have the, you know, can't the mufflers that puke out all that stuff. But here's a button that makes them puke. It's like, well, then you weren't serious about this. Yeah, and until they fix that, I'm littering. All car companies must cut off. I want Trump to get on that one. You want to talk about wokeism? Get rid of that stupid feature.

330 million Americans all doing the exact right thing for the environment aren't going to do anything as long as India is still a thing. Think about all the countries that are making the real mess. And we're sitting here choking our engines out at 52nd of McDowell just because we don't want to puke up too much. An idling engine puts more filth into there. Stop it.

[Byron]

Save gas on your 500 horsepower machine.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Because the second I touch the skinny pedal, all that goes to waste. No 500 horsepower car that they think when the stoplight. Well, we probably shouldn't have it running at stoplights. What? Sport mode immediately. Sport mode. I puke out filth into the air twice as much. It's ridiculous.

So Richard Gere might be right and I might be right. I get banned from the Oscars for that speech. But get rid of that little weird A, the capital A with this half a circle around it. It's unnecessary. This is what I want to write politicians about, because they'll actually get that done.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I think even like Greta Thunberg hates when her car stops at a lot because you're always, oh, Jesus, my card. Oh, no, that's that stupid thing.

It used to be that when your car died out of light, you were screwed. Now it dies so much you don't even know if it's bad or not. That used to be a pretty good warning signal that Happens on her scooter. Yeah. She turns off her pedal scooter. Yeah. But I mean, if your car dies now, you just think it's that thing. It might not be. Now you're driving around a death trap that dies every once in a while.

[Byron]

It's amazing how quick it starts it up. But all you're thinking about, oh, man, that's another item to fix. It's got to be hard on the engine.

[John Holmberg]

It can't be good for it. Brett, you're a car guy. Can't be good for it. Turn off and turn on your car like that. No.

[Brett Vesely]

And then you're going through starters and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. That needs to go. And until it does, you're just gonna see Waterloo cans flying out of a Jeep all over the city. I'm littering. I'm littering until that goes away.

And I mean all of it. All of it. Not in my neighborhood.

[Brett Vesely]

Taking a stand.

[John Holmberg]

I'm taking a stand and I'm littering. I'm gonna go full India until they make the announcement that no cars starting today will have that stupid feature. It's dumb. And I don't care how hippie granola you are, you hate it, too. No one likes their car stopping for. Especially in Phoenix in the summertime, you don't even know it turns off, and all of a sudden you're getting hot air. My air conditioner's broken. Oh, no. My dickhead engine just turned off. And now it's 104 in the car and I gotta sweat it out and take my foot off the gas a little and start it again. And let's hope it doesn't do that twice, silly. Now, Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Brett Vesely]

All right. Wake Up Song brought to you by, of course, Action Ride Shop. And like I said, if you haven't decided what to do for Christmas yet, well, Action Ride shop is running 20% off all in stock beach cruisers right now. And they got a ton of them at both locations right there on, well, the OG right there on Gilbert Road and Southern, of course, the brand new one right there at power Road and McDowell. And you can also start getting ready for wintertime skiing. Boarding season is upon us, so make sure you head on over there and get all the gear you're going to need.

[John Holmberg]

Actionrideshop.com Evidently, Trump has introduced that to an environmental law. Break it down. No longer incentivize automakers to include this feature. So what you're going to find out about the car manufacturers, whether or not they really care about the environment. Because if they're not, because they're currently getting incentives to put that package in your car, you take the incentives away. Will they still keep doing it?

There's no way. No, no way. So basically. Well, because they'd be like, we love the environment so much. This is such a great feature. No way. They've heard us talking. Well, that's good. But the day it becomes official and passes through the House and Senate or whatever, I don't know how it's going to work. Maybe an executive order. I'm littering.

What do you got? All right.

[Brett Vesely]

On the list, seven Dust, Judas Priest. Some heads are gonna roll for that. That broad earlier today. AC dc, Megadeth, Limp Bizkit, Ugly Kid Joe, Godsmack, Helmet and House of Pain. And. Well, in 2004, Dimebag Daryl got gunned down.

[John Holmberg]

That's today.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. So we got Pantera's domination, the art of shredding from Pantera and Save Me from Damage also.

[John Holmberg]

Was it 45 years ago, John Lennon today? Yeah, it was December 8th as well. That's 45 years. How about that? Crazy. I believe it was also on a Monday. So it's full of, you know, actually full back. Wow. All right, we'll go a little Pantera, the artist. Shredding's pretty solid. All right, and that's for Dimebag. How long ago? 2004. 21 years ago. Good Christ. Noh. I say it. Yeah. In Columbus, right there at Brady's Old Haunts.

[Byron]

El Rosa villa.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, right, 21 years ago. Every year I say it. I was driving to work And I heard KTIR's Ned Foster, who sang all the news but didn't realize he was singing.

In Columbus, Ohio, last night, a man opened fire on a rock band singer called Pantera. Like, what the hell? That's what I heard on my way into work.

[Brett Vesely]

Did they send Jim Cross out there for it, too? I mean, like, he's. He's everywhere.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Ned. I'm outside the Villa Rosa and it's cold in Columbus in December. And I don't know what a Pantera is, but there's one less of them. Back to you go.

Yeah, it was 21 years.

Holy smokes. I never would have guessed. Well, there you go. It's the art of shredding. It's Pantera. Hasn't been anybody like him since. No time was the man.

And I personally, yesterday was watching. Speaking of great guitarists, the Rams game for a little bit with the Cardinals. Puka Nakua is Eddie Van Halen.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah. No.

[John Holmberg]

Well, now.

[Byron]

And a little bit of Jason Momoa yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's got no Momoa body. He's Eddie Van Halen's face. If you look at him, that's Eddie Van Halen. It's ridiculous. And he's got Eddie's hair, too. The whole thing. I'm like, when he took his helmet off, I'm like, is he a Van Halen that we don't know about? I would look into whoever Puka's mom is. I think Eddie is the dad. I want a DNA test. That's the same face as is Lamar Jackson to Sandra Bernhardt. I believe that's his real mother. Not there. That one on the right, though.

[Brett Vesely]

This one?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. When he's smiling. Yeah. And when you take that helmet off, he goes full Eddie Van Halen when he's smiling on the sidelines yesterday, I was like, whoa.

I'm convinced he's got some Van Halen in him. Let's do it for Dimebag. It's 21 years. My goodness. That's hard to believe. It's the artist shredding. It's 98.

[Byron]

Hey.

[John Holmberg]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness, and I'm sitting with Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body dot com. You see somebody with a dinged up car and you kind of feel like, why don't you get that fixed? What do you find is the reason most people don't come to you and get their car fixed when it needs to be fixed? When finances tighten up like they are lately for a lot of people. So what we offer now is 100 day, same as cash on your deductible. We can finance that for you to help you out. So we're happy to help those people. Yeah. You got systems in place? Absolutely. We've been through this a few times in the last 38 years. You want to go to a place where everybody knows what they're up to? That's OrlandoAutoBody.com all right, HMS Podcast time again. I'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. East side Champion Prom in the heart of ASU has Ryan Hamilton and Alice Wetterland performing downtown at Stand Up Live. Luis Alvarez and Dimitri Martin entertain you. And up north, the Desert Ridge Improv has sets from both Jason Salmon and Rachel Feinstein for the complete lineups.

[Brett Vesely]

And for tickets, go to standup live.

[John Holmberg]

Live.Com Desert Ridge improv.com and tempeimprov.com.

Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

Rolling along.

Monday, creeping ever so close to the fat man. No, no, no. Brady reports coming up in a second. And by the way, we played the Offspring a little earlier this morning, and hopefully you now know that the whole deal. We're trying to give you concert tickets for every KUPD concert in 2026. You get the K. KUPD concert pass going to get you the tickets you need all year long, and all you have to do was listen on the app. And every time you hear the featured artist of the week, you tap on that and it enters you in. The Offspring is this week's featured artist. So every time we play the Offspring and you're on your app, tap it, and then you get a. You get entered into that thing. You could win a tickets to every KUPD show in 2026. If it's on our concert calendar, you can have it. That's how that works. That's pretty awesome. And it ends December 21st, just a few days away. So get on that. Also, if you're listening on your app, I remind you our managers and bosses are too stupid to have put this in there, so I'll do it. If you're listening on headphones, you're doing us no favors. We need you to listen to the app loudly. Otherwise, get a radio.

Gotta listen to it. Can't have your headphones on. But we focus heavily on making people listen through the app and then realize they don't listen on the app just out loud. No one does. It's rude. But we do like to give you stuff. So if you can get on that, please, by all means, do it, and I'll get another. You know, that's not exactly true. Okay, stop.

We both know it's true. You screwed this whole thing up if you made a mockery of the whole deal. What are we? We, Radio station? We an app? Are we a podcast? What are we? We're all those things, okay? No company ever works when they're 40 different things at once with the same product. Unless they're Cinnabon.

And we can't get away with the things Cinnabon gets away with. We're not that delicious. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report, and it's brought to you by friends at allpro/allprochade.com Putting shade over you for the last 20 plus years and doing it the right way, making your house look better. At the house I was at this weekend out there in Queen Creek, Shane's got some great areas that are covered and they're just awesome. And then sometimes you go by people's houses and you see their house looks like a pirate ship because they tried to do shade sales themselves. You know, like, oh, that's. None of that looks right. That. Avoid making your house look crazy and do it the right way with all pro shade. They'll not only come out there and help you get your shady area, they'll make it look right, like it's supposed to be there, like it's part of the house. And that means it's going to add property value. It's actually like an addition. In this weather right now, 80 degrees all week in December, those shades come out, get a little shade. It's like having a new room in your house. It's fantastic. And when the sun goes down, it gets a little chilly. You're going to need a heater. And all pro shade will throw in one of those when you buy a motorized shade right now. Easy enough. Allprochade.com Brady reported.

[Byron]

Good Monday morning to Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Byron]

Happy National Brownie Day.

[John Holmberg]

Brownie.

[Byron]

Couple of baseless fun facts. 53% of the flags in the world have blue in them.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Byron]

NBC created its peacock logo in 1956 because peacocks are multicolored. And RCA owned NBC at the time. They thought a multicolored logo might inspire people to buy color TVs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you wanted to see that. And when you did, you were marveling at it. It was the AI of its time. Imagine being excited by color tv. People lost their minds. And there was a lot of looking at TVs going, what's next? And then here we are, like, we are with AI. No AI. We don't know. Did you see the thing? I don't know if you guys sent it to me or not with a thing. It said AI two years ago. And AI now I asked AI to make a thing of Will Smith eating spaghetti. Did you see that? It's. It's hilarious because two years ago, it's like, weird. It looks enough like him that you can tell, but it's kind of flawed and it's got some goose. But two years ago, we were like, oh, my God, that's so cool. Then they said, here's what it looks like now. It's just Will Smith. Literally Will Smith eating some spaghetti. You're like, you'd never know that wasn't real. What happens in two more years? You got to remember it was two years ago this month where we were all like, chachi pt. What? What is that? And now it's doing all of our jobs for us.

[Byron]

If you don't include the Super Bowls. The biggest delivery day in Domino's Pizza history.

[John Holmberg]

O.J. simpson.

[Byron]

Yep. The day O.J. simpson. Bronson Chase.

[Dick Toledo]

Last week.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Was it?

[Byron]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Is that one of the questions? We didn't get to it, did we?

[Brett Vesely]

I thought we did.

[John Holmberg]

Did we get to it? Who was the square?

[Byron]

Where'd it go?

[Dick Toledo]

Berman and Stephen A.

[John Holmberg]

We did not get to berman and Stephen A's question. Save it.

[Byron]

Approximately 6,000 people worldwide die every hour, while 16,720 are born. With those numbers, the world population grows by more than 10,000 people every hour.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Wait a minute. Say it again. How many die?

[Byron]

6,000. 6,600 people.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. I thought you said six. Yeah, I think 66,000 people. We're gonna run out of people at that rate. 600? Yeah. 6,600 and 16,000 being born. Calm down. Mexico.

We need to even that up a little bit. I figure it only needs to be like three or four. We need to have like a birth rate at 6,675 and a death rate at 6,675 people an hour. Seems reasonable to me, but every hour, 6,600 people die.

Is that right?

[Byron]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Worldwide, man.

[Byron]

Well, 16,000, 720 are born.

[John Holmberg]

Born.

That's crazy. An hour.

[Byron]

An hour.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that. Yeah. That can't be right. Every hour is a 10,000 person difference.

[Byron]

So we add 10,000 people every hour.

[John Holmberg]

That's 240,000. Is that right?

[Byron]

A day?

[John Holmberg]

A day that we add quarter million.

That's too many. Put the dicks down, ladies. We got to calm that down a little bit.

[Dick Toledo]

China doesn't seem so crazy now, does it?

[John Holmberg]

Well, China's losing. It's not them anymore. It's them Arabs.

It is. Their whole goal in that Quran is to overpopulate everything. And then you got the Mormons and the Christians doing the exact same battle.

[Dick Toledo]

Don't exclude the Mormons.

[John Holmberg]

They keep acting like we're going to fight, like it's. You're 700. It's not about the amount of people anymore. It's about your, you know, computer, know how they're overrunning stuff. I know. You get me started on Maryvale and the Mexican population throwing babies around like crazy Mormons. I'm looking at you. To bring this down a little, there's not going to be a holy war. You don't need numbers.

[Byron]

There's a national full time employee poll held about holiday parties. They asked him, which would you rather go to? 27 said they'd rather get dental work done than go to an office Christmas party. Yeah, their own.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, the MeToo movement and all this political correctness wrecked office party parties because you can still get fired at a Christmas party.

[Byron]

Now they're saying it's still the effects from COVID Basically the call of the great disconnection.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's no.

[Byron]

A lot of people are saying as far as offices hanging out and doing activities. Yeah, well, no, that's dropped down.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing to do with COVID A, it's being cheap. B, it's you can get fired at the Christmas party now.

[Brett Vesely]

Not here.

[John Holmberg]

No. Boy, we learned that one. A couple of dudes acting like Cinnabon employees running around. But yeah, there's the whole. That started.

[Byron]

30% of men would rather get a root canal than go to an office party.

[John Holmberg]

That started with political correctness has nothing to do with COVID Covid was our excuse to go, good, we don't have to do that ever again. And put our heels in the mud. We stopped liking them because you couldn't bang that secretary on the Xerox machine anymore. Remember the movie that came out, Office Christmas Party? And it just go. Jason Bateman's in it and Kate McKinnon. And it just goes insane. And there's people banging on Xerox machines. And it's that. And everybody's like, we can't relate to this anymore. This happened. This needed to be an 80s movie. Everybody just walks through and it's like, don't have too much to drink. If you say the wrong thing, you can still get fired. And women can't, like, dress up and have fun and be old. Christmas parties were literal Christmas parties. But my Christmas party for this station, when I used to have him at my house, there was. In the laundry room.

[Byron]

I was just gonna say, think about.

[Dick Toledo]

The liability you opened yourself up to.

[Byron]

You did it multiple years.

[John Holmberg]

I had three or four in a row. Our old sales manager had it before that. And he's like, I've done three. It's your turn. I'm like, I'll do it. The party came to my house and it got weird. There was fights.

[Dick Toledo]

Something weird happened at Dana's house, too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there was a dead guy in the front yard. That's not so weird. We expected that there's Four or five.

[Byron]

One was, there's people.

[John Holmberg]

Nice morning, front yard.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But those were the stories used to proudly tell the after. Now it's like some embarrassment to the company. And memos go out. And our engineer was found laying in a gutter. And I don't know who was like, no, that's. That's funny. And who had sex with that one? Who brought that one girl? The accounts girl brought a friend of hers. No more guests. She had sex with two people in the laundry room. We had to pay extra to get that cleaned up. Chuck Hartig used to give me $500 for all the alcohol, all the food, and the cleanup for my own house, which, by the way, the alcohol and food was like 700 bucks. Not. Not to mention the maid that would have to come in and get all the ejaculate out.

But those were fun parties. Then we went to Rustler's Roost.

[Byron]

Drink tickets.

[John Holmberg]

One drink ticket, one steak. These steaks are ice cold, sir. I didn't say they'd be cooked. Eat.

[Dick Toledo]

Then it became a competition. Who can collect the most tickets?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, well, it was just bad. It was some bad. Did you use your tickets? Rustler's Roost. It was like 4 degrees. We're standing outside. Even the guy cooking the steaks was cold, and he had fired.

[Byron]

Your two hours is up. We got another party happening.

[John Holmberg]

You see that corral of the next Christmas party? People shaking behind that rope. Everyone out. They charge by the minute. And we got kicked out. Like, these are no fun anymore. Christmas parties can suck. They have to be a. And that's another thing you don't know. It doesn't have to be a Christmas party sanctioned by your company to get fired from your job anymore. And I blame women in the workplace for this. Back in the olden days, watch the Mad Men, where they have the Christmas party in the office. They have a game in it to see what color the secretary's panties are. And you know how they find out? Tackle them and pull their skirts up. And then everybody's laughing. That's hilarious. I watched the Good Old Days.

[Byron]

I watched the Christmas party at the Nakatomi Plaza over the weekend.

[John Holmberg]

That was getting going.

[Byron]

There's people getting on the office.

[John Holmberg]

Of course, that's what Christmas parties used to be. Toledo said, hey, I just want to have some people over for my Christmas party. And Brady goes over there and throws one in Brett. And Brett doesn't want that later. And he comes to his senses on Monday and goes, I had gay sex with Brady. This weekend You. Yep. And Brady are getting fired. It's like. But that was my personal party. Nope. You're always representing, bro.

[Byron]

He wanted it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, of course he wanted it. Brady, you're very sexy and you're charming. You can talk any man into anal sex on a Christmas party because you don't drink. Got your wits about you.

[Byron]

Here are.

Some things that happened ten years ago on. This week, Willard Scott officially retired from the Today show.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Byron]

A study found ending your text with periods makes you sound rude.

People over 25 were confused and shocked. Gen Z had already fully embraced the no punctuation thing.

[John Holmberg]

How about that?

[Byron]

Crystal Pepsi made a short lived comeback.

[John Holmberg]

Where did motor oil run out for a while we needed Crystal Pepsi.

[Byron]

They rolled it out real quick and then didn't sell.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was the gooiest glue drink I've ever. And whatever they were putting it in it to make it clear was like Sprite had it figured out. I never understood the Crystal Pepsi thing. Now it's clear. Well, so seven Up. We've had seven up for a hundred years. Yeah, but Pepsi's clear. So you made Sprite. No, it's not lemon. Lime. It's clear. Like that was dumb and it was gooey.

[Byron]

The last one. The big short hit movie theaters. Americans finally understood the basics of the 2008 financial crisis with some help from Margot Robbie. A bubble bath.

[John Holmberg]

It's the only way we'll listen. That's a great movie by the way. This just in. Crystal, the hard working girl from Cinnabon. Yeah we talked about earlier, has a hundred thousand dollar GoFundMe going and she's hit it. It's 100 grand has been given to her. And here's what it says. It says, meet Crystal hard working white mom doing her job at Cinnabon when two Somali customers decide to make her shift. Hell with intimidation. Instead of banning the offenders and backing the employees, Cinnabon fired Crystal to keep keep the nons happy. We're not letting this slide. Funds going to make sure Crystal lands on her feet after this betrayal. Then it says no white person should lose their jobs for refusing to be harassed by Somalians. And $100,000 already. This happened Saturday. I'm gonna start throwing the N word out. You make 100 grand in a weekend just by being a jerk.

[Brett Vesely]

Did the David Duke foundation throw into that GoFundMe or what?

[John Holmberg]

Shut up. How'd I do? Yeah, no kidding. 100 grand she made. And I don't know if you guys have seen Captain Phillips, but I'm not that afraid of Somalians without guns. You can intimidate me to a certain point, but.

They say things that are horrible.

Hey, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness. When my beloved dog Dutchy started to slow down, I knew in my heart the time was going to come. That's when I reached out to Happy Endings in Home pet euthanasia. Once Dr. Fixler got to my house, he explained every step, answered all the questions, and created a peaceful, loving atmosphere. Right there. We were able to hold Dutchy on her favorite blanket. Happy Endings made it as peaceful and dignified as the moment could be. If your furry companion is getting close to that time, whether it's a dog or a cat, and you want the comfort of home, the compassion of professionals, and the dignity your pet deserves, call Happy Endings. Visit Online Happy Endings euthanasia.com Because every pet's life should have a happy ending.

[Byron]

FanDuel Friday is turning it up with the NBA Happy Hour. It's Brady from the morning sickness and every Friday from 4 to 5:30pm FanDuel is dropping limited time specials to get you in the zone. Boosts, bonuses, surprises, all designed to bring that Friday energy. This isn't just another promo, it's your weekly pregame. It's the NBA Happy Hour every Friday from 4 to 5:30, only on FanDuel, official sportsbook partner of the NBA. All you got to do is visit FanDuel.com KUPD that's FanDuel.com KUpd to grab your reward before the clock expires. 21 plus and present in Arizona. Opt in required rewards are non withdrawable. Restrictions apply including bonus and token expiration, leg requirements and max wager amount. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342.

[John Holmberg]

And how mad are you as a Somalian? Remember how it used to be they.

[Byron]

Got bad press too this week because the Somalians were scamming money in Minnesota.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. Well, that's what Trump's been trying to push that they got to get them out of that.

[Byron]

Is that story tailing that one? No, the Cinnabon one that you happen to be.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. You're lumping all the small ones together. That's not necessarily a thing. But these Somalians just wandered over. They used to not have any food. Now they've got Cinnabon and an iPhone.

I stand with Crystal. If this is the fastest way to riches, I'm gonna do it. I Didn't know you get paid for that, Brett. We've been doing this wrong.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How about that? 100 grand since Friday and growing Somalians aren't intimidating unless they're climbing on your cargo ship.

[Byron]

Got a 26 year old dude from New York who's accused of using stolen credit cards to buy more than $65,000 in liquor. He's buying it in liquor stores in Pennsylvania. He was using debit cards and.

Other Visa cards and a place online. Delivery from the liquor stores racked up $65,000 worth.

[John Holmberg]

Jeez.

[Byron]

Eugene Antwee is his name of Brooklyn, New York.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, you can also click on a button that says pray and send Crystal your prayers.

And people do. They gave her some. Give her Anonymous. Give her 50 bucks. The money is just rolling in. Merry Christmas, queen.

[Byron]

She started Instagram or anything. She trying to go viral.

[Dick Toledo]

This viral.

[John Holmberg]

A guy named Wyatt power gave her $14 and said, we don't have to live this way. White people need to unite and take our country back. Said the Indians. What?

This guy? 25. I heard this woman was first harassed by the two Somalis, perhaps with reference to her simply being dressed as a normal Western woman. That's why I stand with Crystal. Yeah, there's rumors that the Somalis wanted her in a hijab. No, they didn't.

And that's an easy walk away.

[Brett Vesely]

This is a better story than that.

[John Holmberg]

This is a good refuse service. A guy named Heimrich Himmler gave her $7.

[Byron]

Oh, my.

[John Holmberg]

And just in his notes wrote salutations.

[Byron]

Back from the dead.

[John Holmberg]

And then anonymous giver gave her 20 and goes, Jeez, it's only a word.

These comments are fantastic. Do yourself a favor and go to Give Send. Go and find Crystal and just read the comments. Chin up, darling. Apply some Pantene and let your hair blow freely in the wind of free America. Pantene. Get yourself some Pantene. That's good. White lady product keeps your hair glowing like a white.

Good luck with the lawsuits against the harassing couple. Maybe have Cinnabon. Toss in a few of those better Call Saul royalty dollars. All right.

[Byron]

Thrown into it.

[John Holmberg]

Fully fatigued by them. Thank you for standing up to these people. Somalians.

I am the captain now. I know.

[Byron]

Like, we're.

[John Holmberg]

We're not.

[Byron]

And the video didn't seem like it was that.

[John Holmberg]

If they were nine, they had to.

[Byron]

Know she was a loose can.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, like watch trying to get free Cinnabon. I would have done it. She's being punished for defending herself. Yeah, I don't know about that.

[Byron]

It's a big defense.

[John Holmberg]

You are a terrible person. Suck it. Suck it.

[Byron]

You filming this?

[John Holmberg]

Good. I am a racist, and you are a. Take your happy ass away from my Cinnabon.

[Byron]

I got whites.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Aaron Atwater told me earlier this morning. You know, they're gonna just start to go fund me, and she's gonna make money. I'm like, I hope you're wrong. That's crazy. Well, I was wrong and Aaron was right. You were right. Because here it is. And the comments. Which is worse? The taunts of Muslims or employers like Cinnabon that exploit, use, and discard an employee for defending herself? Prayers for the young woman. And prayers. The invaders are repelled.

Invaders that many Somalians that I don't know about. I haven't seen one in my whole life. If I have, I didn't know. I mean, I probably crossed the street, but I. I don't know.

[Byron]

They're taking over the Bay Mall in Wisconsin.

[John Holmberg]

Wisconsin. That's it.

Time to get these demonic beasts back to the abyss from which they spawned. I did not just come up with that. I had to read that. I don't think my brain as creative as I might get. Whatever come up with that.

[Dick Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

He gave money twice. 50 bucks. His name's Huge Jar down.

And he gave another 50 in the exact same comments. He's gonna. I'm do it again. I'm gonna double down on that copy bet. $1,000 came from a guy named Black Rifle. Black Rifle Coffee. If some don't lump in somebody else's company. If Somalians must be seen until they are all removed by our blessed president's law enforcement, they must never be heard. Love and prayers.

My God.

Well, anyway.

She'S defending herself. She called me N word, told him to suck higher. Now it would have been, you know, it would have been a classier move to defend yourself by telling your manager, I'd like these people removed. They're harassing me.

[Byron]

I would, but he didn't show up.

[John Holmberg]

Today I am the manager. I am king queen around here. And you walk right out. Give me that Cinnabon bag. You don't deserve it. What a mess, that hundred grand. Brett, let's go to Cinnabon today. No kidding. You're olive colored.

I'm just gonna bust out a couple teeth. It might be worth it to go in blackface. Just start calling people names at Cinnabon until they snap and they get a gofundme.

Have Brett and I stage a few of these things.

Split it with you all right?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm in.

[Byron]

Got a dude from Ohio. Oh, 46 year old guy. Jason Smith.

[John Holmberg]

Say it again, Brady. Oh, I. You.

That hurts.

[Byron]

Jason was at the drive through at his local bank.

And they use one of those bank air tube systems.

Reaches in to put his deposit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Arm sucks a bag of his meth up through the tubes into the tellers. Bank called it in.

[John Holmberg]

Hope she's cool. Ah, the teller was a jerk.

[Byron]

The cops tracked down Jason. Ah, search his car. Found more of her drugs.

Got his mug shot. Jason Smith, 46 years old.

[John Holmberg]

I used to train with a guy named Jason Smith. Good dude too. Resident Ohio.

[Dick Toledo]

How old?

[John Holmberg]

Jason Smith. I mean, 46. Jason. Meth, Ohio. This is white as they come. He might have one tooth in his head. He's definitely wearing something that says Ohio State on it though. Yeah. Curly haired, lily white. When did this?

[Byron]

Unfortunately he's not in that. He's in the, you don't know, standard.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's in his prison gear. Oh, you can't tell. Okay, but he was. But we can. We both know he was in Ohio State gear. Or he had a shirt off and there's a buckeye with an O tattooed to his chest.

[Byron]

Yeah, it's a good, good chance.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll say as white as they come. And maybe thinner than a Somalian.

[Byron]

Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

Average.

[John Holmberg]

Just average.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm with John on this.

[John Holmberg]

Average, curly haired.

[Byron]

He sent money to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he looks like me. He's fat. I didn't expect the fat Keith Jardine. He's AI me. If they said add £62 to John.

Winston and I are in on this. I'm getting texts from Winston. We're going to Cinnabon later. We're going to start up.

Now. We're gonna go to Cinnabon and stir it up between each other. We can't get Cinnabon involved. Those angels need to stay put. But if we start playing and I just go, get out of here and start screaming at Winston and stuff and he goes, I have to get out of it. We'll split the money for sure. I'll start a Gofundme and he could.

[Byron]

Go to the Cinnabon afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he can do it every month. But I have to be free. Crazy on film.

[Byron]

Sorry that happened to you.

[John Holmberg]

I'll put some stuff on my face to make it like I got a prank skirt. I got a prankster, which is a tattoo thing. It's dragging. So I got one of those and I just drag white power across my forehead or something. You all just need to go home and have Winston go. You're out of your mind. And then I'll start a. I lost my job, lost my kids. Next thing you know, I got $250,000, and I'm in the Caribbean washing off that tattoo with Winston.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I was going to say you and Winston clinking.

[John Holmberg]

This is, like, looking good. It's the end of Trading Spaces. Yeah. Feeling good, Winthrop.

[Byron]

The first pretty video is shocking.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

This better not be a pun. Did this guy get elected? Come on.

[Dick Toledo]

How long have we worked with him?

[Brett Vesely]

Stop.

[John Holmberg]

All right, guys, standing on top of train track. Oh, we've seen this one. This guy reaches up and bursts into flames. Don't touch those. How many times we got to see these?

[Dick Toledo]

It's got to be, like, reflexive. You got to just think, there's a wire above me. I have to grab it.

[John Holmberg]

What are dudes doing on tops of trains and cruddy countries all the time?

[Brett Vesely]

That's where they ride.

[John Holmberg]

I know, but, like, they're. Those could look like they're working. That train looks like it's already burned down.

[Byron]

Yeah, it stopped. That's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like a cool car. That's gross. All right, next.

[Byron]

Next is a traffic cop conducting traffic.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what they do with the cone.

[Byron]

He's using the cone. Traffic cone.

[Dick Toledo]

What's he doing again?

[John Holmberg]

He's conducting traffic. He's a traffic with a traffic cone.

He just throws the cone at a motorcyclist who's avoided all the rules, knocked him out, put him in concussion protocol, and then he crashes the motorcycle and slides down the freeway. He's like, stop. And the guy in the motorcycle, like, nah, those cones are heavy. I don't know. Is that a trap cop? That's just a guy in a jean jacket.

[Byron]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

He's got P on the back.

[Byron]

Multiple.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's like, what is it, Jay Leno land? Why are the cops in denim? I told you to stop back then. It didn't do it. So I'm gonna have to hit you in the head with a huge traffic cone. Sorry about that. They should have just stopped. I mean, the other cops told you, you got to get an 8 traffic cone. That's a perfect shot. I mean, he went full two with tunga violoa after that bike. Now look at him. He's down there flashing gang signs. I want him. And today. I don't know why they don't listen. Policia.

[Dick Toledo]

Stay away from the hill.

[John Holmberg]

Jill, it's Officer J. Policia. And moved to Spain and Became an officer of the law and Alto. Alto. And they didn't. And they hit him in the face with them. Anyway.

That'S all I got. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Brett Vesely]

A mild today, so.

[John Holmberg]

All right, good.

[Brett Vesely]

We'll start. I don't know if we've seen this before. Bullring, soccer.

[John Holmberg]

It's always good to go back. Here we go. Oh, we got. Oh, people inside those giant inflatable balls. That can't be. You. Can't be. Oh, I would get involved in this. Oh, this is great. You got a bull running around a big bullpen, and then. Oh, this is fantastic. I can't play that. And you're in those inflatables that people run around and bang into walls and stuff. Except for now. They put the bulls to the test and it can't pop. Well, maybe it might have just popped. It might have just popped.

[Byron]

That one popped.

[John Holmberg]

But it's throwing these people 15ft in the air. This is phenomenal. Does he have horns? Little ones. Oh, he just lifts that.

[Dick Toledo]

His horns are nubbed off.

[John Holmberg]

And he's in it. He's bubble wrapped. He's in a giant bubble wrap mattress. And they're just running around at the bull run towards it. Now we've got something. Mexico. Stop. Just letting all the citizens of a town live in the bull ring and put these things on them. Awesome. I'd do that right now in the parking lot if somebody had one of those suits. That looks fun. All right, next.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's a real classy broad for you.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. She's in the passenger seat of a car.

She's getting out.

And she's spitting out what she just.

[Brett Vesely]

Right after mouth hugs.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she gave a mouth hug to the driver and then she spit it out in the parking garage. She's kind of hot, though. Yeah.

Wow.

[Brett Vesely]

Classy broad.

[John Holmberg]

Dude filmed it the whole time, too. There's a classy couple.

[Byron]

Pay up, mister.

[John Holmberg]

I have a feeling they're gonna end up being angry at Somalians soon.

[Brett Vesely]

And.

Don'T do this at the bar.

[John Holmberg]

Where are we? Oh, it's a. We got a flambe in front of a girl at a restaurant. They're pouring all that. Oh, they literally. Wow. They let the girl mess.

Thinking it would be kind of a fun thing to have the fajitas actually burn at the table. And. Oh, is that a drink they're trying to do? And they do.

They throw a little fire stuff on there. And then another dude pours some liquor on it. It splashes. And then another girl leans her hair and then the next thing you know, she's burning to death. Oh, my God. Holy cow.

That's what we got. Wow.

Get prepared, because Friday night, Brett's top 10 videos of 2025 will be aired live.

At Stand Up Live downtown Phoenix.

The tradition continues.

Last year, the one that stands out is the girl that was drinking out of the menstrual cup. That one got it. And the Asian lady eating the flypaper.

Oh, I think.

[Brett Vesely]

Didn't we have a new one from the bald fisting guys last year, too?

[John Holmberg]

The Bald Fisting Guys. Bald Fisting Guys. Pretty good band name. We're the Bald Fisting Guys.

Yikes. There you go. Well, that's your Brady report. Congratulations. You made it through another one. It's 98.

[Byron]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[Dick Toledo]

Thursday is the start of the NFL week, and it's also your chance to hit the jackpot on FanDuel. It's Dick Toledo from homework's morning sickness. And that's because with FanDuel's Thursday Touchdown Jackpot, you can win a share of $2 million in bonus bets each week. Now, to get in on this Thursday's action, all you have to do is place an anytime touchdown scorer bet before the game kicks off. Then, if your player scores the first or the last TD of the game, you'll win your bet plus a share of bonus bets. And all you gotta do is visit FanDuel.com KUPD to take a shot at the G jackpot. That's FanDuel.com KUpd for your chance to win a share of $2 million in bonus bets and play your game with FanDuel, an official sports betting partner of the NFL 21 plus and President Arizona. Opt in must apply profit boost token on select market price pool to be split equally among all eligible participants who made the correct first or last TD Pick Bonus issued is now withdrawable bonus bets which expire 21 days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text next step.

[John Holmberg]

To 533-42-feed a family, make a kid happy and win a new car. It's the 25th anniversary of Operation Santa Claus. Presented by Sanders and Ford, Sanders and Lincoln, U haul and ABC15. Make a donation of food, new toys, child sized clothing or money and you could win a new Ford F150 truck or Lincoln Corsair SUV. For more info, go to givetotheclaws.com for Lincoln and ABC15.

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

21 years of dime bag being gone crazy. Pantera. It's cowboys from hell. Bananas. How long ago that is and how mind blowing that that time has gone by so quickly. We were only on there for two years while that was going on. Bananas. Never would have guessed it. Also, we haven't talked about this, but last night we realized that despite my happiness with Lamar Jackson, the ugliest sperm on the planet and he dresses himself like that, so I'm going to call him that. Him being sad makes me happier than anything that can happen in the world. I love his sadness. It brings me great joy. It feeds me. But I think yesterday, I guess it was probably right around.

Like 4:30, we realized 5 o', clock, I guess we realized that the NFL is completely fixed 100% now and the Gamblers own it. Because the Raiders kicked a field goal at the end of a game. They were down triple digits and the three changed the over under and it changed the spread and everything about it was like this most unnecessary field goal in the history of field goals. And.

It changed exchange gambling in Vegas. Yeah, I mean it's the most obvious thing you could ever. Why even line up for it? It's that like, what are you doing?

[Byron]

At least show the nod up in the crowd on the Jumbotron.

[John Holmberg]

The guy going show the show. Pete Carroll rubbing his nose and another guy giving and then the. The. You might as well put it on the Jumbotron. That's one for the Gamblers. Like just admit it. That was the weirdest thing I've seen him. Like, why even trot the team out there? You just changed anyway. Okay.

It's just something. Had to be something. There was probably some sort of weird prop bet that the Cleveland Guardians players had on a last minute field goal as those guys did it too. But it was pretty crazy.

And by the way, our blind listener, Sean Rockefeller said something actually beautiful. And I think this is something we can all aspire to. With all the talk of the Cinnabon girl calling the Somalis N words and all the comments that are on that page that's raising money for her, which I still don't understand. Sean being blind says I can't see color. So I just call everyone the N word if they talk funny to me at all. Like Brady.

I don't even know what he looks like, but I know he's a Sean. That's Beautiful. That's from the blind. We always see. I don't see color. He doesn't. We're all. Whatever slur he throws at us, he's guessing.

That was beautiful. That was a beautiful moment. That was very mlk. Jfk. It was all of it. Thank you, Sean. It's time for the Guadalupe replay and Frank Caliendo joined us on Friday. We had a good one and Frank's going to help us out with the homework after dark party Friday night. He's going to be part of that at Stand Up Live. Still some tickets straggling along if you want to grab those. The special guests include this year's guest of the year. I'm trying to get listener of the year. Ironically it's our deaf guy and I haven't heard back from him but he's got to get to the scrolls that talk about me doing. I emailed him and said would you like to be our listener of the year? But I don't. Somebody's gotta, you know, he can read his emails. I don't know. I don't know what he's got. He's got to hurry up and get him in. Otherwise we'll have a different. We'll have Aiden, we'll try to get Aiden the trans up there. And I saw a story this week and here's something, here's I'm going to ruin the squares. 22 year old person shouted out in some weird thing in an announcement and people clapped that she's trans masculine non binary.

And people are like yay. I, I look, I don't know what that is. Nobody knows what okay, good. Trans masculine non binary. And I don't know what that means. It just you don't bind to anything. Like this is why I didn't take science. I didn't understand what things bind to each other and this was attracted to that. I don't know what a transmasculine non binary is.

[Byron]

I know gorilla glue sticks to everything that's right.

[John Holmberg]

And nobody's ever said that I am trans gorilla glue non binary. They but nothing bonds and repels and I don't know what it is but they were in their twenties and everybody in their twenties was like yay. And then I thought here's how I know that's made up. If a 65 year old person shouted that out at Sun Lakes you'd hear just a bunch of people going shut the up. That's not a thing. And they'd have to go back into their shell because up until now they've never heard of it. So you give people options and they'll take them. But if you tell someone, hey, you might be trans masculine, non binary, they look into it like, huh, A confused person just wants an identity. You give them too many options. Trans masculine, non binary becomes one, but old people don't. If it was truly a mental thing, it wouldn't just be a certain age having the problem.

[Byron]

You get booed if you say you're male or female.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Try it. Hi, I'm a man cisgender. You're cisgender. Oh, sorry. But nobody at, you know, over the age of 55 is going to yell at you if you say I'm male cisgender. Shut up, old lady. We all know that's just a kid thing. It used to be when women said they experimented in college with lesbianism because that's all they knew to experiment with. Then we just threw this slew of experimentation stuff down and they're trying it all. Trans masculine, non binary. That's bull. Doesn't exist.

[Byron]

That's a play in the NFL, isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yes. You're running the the X Trans masculine. Why non binary?

[Brett Vesely]

I need Madden's chalkboard off the description.

[John Holmberg]

There's a guy who thinks he's a girl but isn't sure he's a girl, might not be a guy. Doesn't that doesn't bond to anything like that. And then doesn't. Is not attracted to anyone. Boom. Non binary doesn't make sense. But you put that out there. Old people didn't catch it. Only young people caught it. So if it's a real thing, wouldn't every age have it?

[Byron]

They just said no back.

[John Holmberg]

Right? But he hadn't been wandering around going, I don't know. Do you think you're transsexual? Nope. It's not that. They haven't named the thing I got yet. It's not like Lou Gehrig's disease, where, like, we don't know what this is.

[Byron]

Just a priest, leave me alone.

[John Holmberg]

And when they said it, I'm trans masculine, non binary. A bunch of old people didn't go, oh, that's it. Because it hasn't existed until they made it up. I'm all for the trans thing, but I think this is mean to trans people. The more they say that, the more trans people who have had a real struggle are like, what the. And I know for a fact gay people are getting tired of it because somehow another they glommed on to the gay movement and they actually went through a thing. Gays are like, get off our. Get off. No more letters. Get off. Sup? The LG people and then the B people are kind of like, make up your mind. But when you get into the T's and the Q's and the. The gays start getting a little upset. They're just getting on our train here. Get your own train. There's nothing to do with being gay. Trans masculine. That sounds like a. An orchestra. I wouldn't listen to Christmas music.

Anyway, I digress. It's your Guadalupe replay with Frank Caliendo, one of the stars of Homework After Dark this Friday. Let's listen to him.

[Byron]

Hey, it's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

Morning sickness. The old method of treatment. Treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

Oh, we gotta speed through this one, Brady, or it's your fault we got a whole ass through. What would Brady do? And it's brought to you by our friends at MMP Guns on 12th street in Indian School. MMP Guns. My dad gave me a.308.

Not the one he was holding.

[Brett Vesely]

I was just gonna say, you sure you want that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's awesome. It's actually. The thing weighs like a pound. Yeah, it's amazing. And it's got some. Something on the end of it makes it so it's got no kick. And he handed me, like, this little circle and he goes, you got friends who work on guns, get this thing all set in and do this, that. And I'm like, all right.

Yeah. Got the guys over at MMP will help me out with all that and get it all cited and ready to go. It's got this magical scope that, like, senses deer and fish. I don't know what the hell that thing is. Amazing.

[Byron]

Heat sensing.

[John Holmberg]

But I got to take it over to MMP Guns because they'll do that, too. They'll take care of the stuff you've got, you know, it serviced, I guess, kind of. And go over and say, I want to add this. Or take this. Can you put this on? Can you take this off? And they'll do it because they know what they're doing. MFP guns. 12th street in Indian School. Just ask for the Byron special. And not only will he give you a discount, he'll do one of those character drawings of you and your family.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, wow, that's nice. Well, don't forget they got the hundred dollars off and Christmas the builder for the builders classes.

[John Holmberg]

So easy Peasy. Brady, are you ready?

[Byron]

Ready.

[John Holmberg]

Got some gems in here today, buddy.

Dear Brady, I just found out my parents are swingers. Well, at least my dad and his new wife, they had a party and I was there, and the behavior got weird. Then later, they were coming out of a bedroom a little worse for wear with a large woman and her very small husband. I asked my dad what happened to his hair, and he laughed and said, it's a good party. He's 73 years old. I say, let him live. But I think it's wise to tell him. I don't want this to land on my desk. Or should I just hope that he doesn't get AIDS and embarrass the whole family? What would Brady do, Brian?

[Byron]

What was he doing at the party?

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't necessarily mean there's. I've been to parties and turned out to be swingers parties. You don't know the swingers, Wander.

[Byron]

I know, I understand. But he could have been at a random party and his dad.

[John Holmberg]

Whole family's there, everybody's hanging around. He's just getting comfy. My friend found out his dad is a nudist at a party when he was hanging out in his. And his. You know, it's the whole thing at work. And he goes, have you been with your dad to any of the colonies? Is it Colonies? What do you mean? Like touring the first 13 states? He said no. He said, your dad goes to the. You don't know about that? And he told him because that brings him over and he'll see. Yeah, he and his wife, they. They're nudists. You didn't know that? I didn't want to tell you, but he's at a party, and then the next thing you know, there's a couple naked people in the pool.

[Byron]

So John Popper met his wife at a new.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's just gross to think about. The lead singer. Blues Travelers and Nudists met his wife.

[Byron]

And she was Ron Jeremy's date.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

At the party.

[John Holmberg]

She's got a type. So what do you do? You find out. Bunny and Torp swing later in life, but Torp 73, he goes in and bangs another couple, a big fat lady and her tiny husband. And Bunny's in there doing what she does. Do you confront him or you just let it go? I don't know.

[Byron]

It seems like the swing community is pretty buttoned up. They do keep what goes on. The swing community stays in the swing community.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good point.

[Byron]

I've never heard anyone be outed in bandage too often.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Byron]

So I'm basing them, from what I know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Just leave it alone.

[Byron]

I've. And I've. We've talked to people that are in the community that are very open about.

[John Holmberg]

We think. I've never talked to anyone open about it. I've talked to people who I think might be swingers. I've never talked to anyone that talks.

[Byron]

About going to clubs and stuff all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Who we know? The comedian.

[Byron]

No, not a comedian. A listener.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, that doesn't count.

[Byron]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Although he has outed a few people.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. He's a single fellow, though.

[Brett Vesely]

I say mind your business.

[John Holmberg]

Mind your business.

[Brett Vesely]

None of your business.

[John Holmberg]

And if it lands on your desk, it would be.

[Brett Vesely]

How's it gonna land on your desk?

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, it's your dad. Something shows up, some family members get upset, you got to explain.

[Byron]

Like, if it depends on the community, talk to him.

[Brett Vesely]

It ain't none of my business.

[John Holmberg]

Dad dies of syphilis or something. Weird. I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

It happens.

[John Holmberg]

It does happen. Fred's right.

[Brett Vesely]

It happens.

[John Holmberg]

You're right. You know what I think? Everybody in this room says, stay oblivious. Go the Brady route. Happy. Wander through it.

[Byron]

It's a little. It'd be a little different in my situation with my parents.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Byron]

Just based upon. If, you know there's a faith involved.

[John Holmberg]

In the way you're raised, swing and love the Lord, you can.

[Byron]

But, you know, there is something about practicing what you preach. If you're brought up, there's a whole.

[John Holmberg]

Bunch of stuff that religious people just do for convenience.

[Byron]

I'd be a little taken back, sure. My parents were swingers, but it's their.

[John Holmberg]

Deal, so leave it alone. Don't say a word. All right, how about this one, Brady? I'm gay and married my husband of four years, and I listened to you religiously every day while we lived in Pueblo, Colorado. I grew up listening to you guys in Phoenix, and I got him hooked on your show. When we met last week, we were at a party and I caught him in a bathroom. Jesus. Everybody's getting caught with a big, fat, ugly bitch and her husband. Oh, I read this earlier. This gets good. He was kissing the man and getting kissed downstairs by the hog woman. We have an open agreement when it comes to a hot guy. We both love sex and we both think it's hot. Thinking of each other, enjoying a man. That's what's good about gay. You're interested in the same people. You're not jealous of the guy. You're like, everybody wants to do it.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're attracted to the exact same thing. Anyway, so for some reason, seeing the woman down there was beyond the pale. I absolutely hated it. And we haven't spoke since I walked in and saw this. I don't even feel betrayed. I just think it was like sex with a dog. Sorry, ladies, but you're gross. I can't think of one of you naked without wanting to puke or put beautiful clothes on you to cover up the lumps and holes. What would you do? Brady, please help me. Justin, your face is making the most. You turned into Bunny. You're disgusted.

[Byron]

So he's disgusted by the female. On.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

His husband.

[John Holmberg]

That the husband drifted into uncharted territory of girl sex.

I know my neighbors. Michael hates, like, he's grossed out by a woman's vagina. And it would. I think he would be the same way. It would be like you'd be having sex with an animal. It would be that gross to him.

[Byron]

And it would be better if the person was a fat man.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't. Well, yeah, because men would.

[Byron]

That turn them off.

[John Holmberg]

It's not about the fat.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's about them.

[Byron]

Just a woman in general.

[John Holmberg]

Women are gross to some gay guys. Guys like.

[Byron]

Well, I think you need to. Definitely.

[John Holmberg]

The same way you feel about a dude's butthole. They feel about a woman's parts.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That you. You can't sexualize it. You're grossed out by it completely.

[Byron]

Then you need to talk to your. Your husband.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Say it bothers you.

[John Holmberg]

You can never be with a woman again. Do you like that? And if. And if he says yes.

[Byron]

Likes it, then. Yeah. Now you.

[John Holmberg]

Man divorce.

[Byron]

That's what it. You know, if you can't stand that at all, then for sure.

[John Holmberg]

If you think about it, what's wild.

[Byron]

Yeah. Because.

She'S. Or he's fine with guys all day long.

[John Holmberg]

You would be too, if you put yourself in their shoes. If Ronnie was attracted to the same women you were attracted to and brought them home.

Like, if there was a Margot Robbie type and Ronnie said, we're getting her, you'd be fine with that. And that's the same as gay guys. They like dudes.

[Byron]

That's two polls.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Yeah. You don't want that.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Of course you don't, but they do. So I'm trying to equate it to the idea of the things you like. Your partner likes the same things.

[Byron]

But I'd be, you know, I guess that's fine. But she's not even. Or he's not even in the mix.

[John Holmberg]

You know, that's okay. So you don't have to be. Well, like, so, like, if you guys liked the Margot Robbie type, and she's like, that's what I'm attracted to. And this is what you're attracted to. And I got her. It's awesome. You wouldn't. You wouldn't argue over it like men and women do, because it's a jealousy gender thing, dude. Like, if Brett and I are after you, it wouldn't happen. Brett, let's be honest. That's not our type. But if we were after you, it's kind of a fun high. It's kind of a fun thing. I'm like, oh, you're hot. And he's. I'm not talking about you right now. But I said, like, Brett's like, we're gonna. I'll get him. And it becomes like a man contest of like. Yeah. And then we'll go home and bang each other, thinking about how much pleasure we got off both trying to get that guy.

Some gay couples are into the idea of, you know, the pleasure being the thing a mouth hugs.

[Brett Vesely]

A mouth hug.

[John Holmberg]

A mouth hug isn't so bad. But he doesn't like women. Just, yeah, you got. I think Brady's right. Just go talk to him and say, don't do that again and don't let me find out about it.

[Byron]

Then mouth hug it out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then just. Yeah, just blow start him back into liking guys.

[Brett Vesely]

My thug solves everything.

[John Holmberg]

That's so true. Brett's right. When you quit talking, quit taking Brady's. If that's what women would do. Get in there and go, I'll do it better than her. And then ask him for one. Go. I'd like a mouth hug for all. You made me mad. So I'd like a mouth hug, and they'll do it. We're guys.

Again. I've always said that if a woman wanted to end every argument, she'd just go have sex with me. No matter how mad everyone is.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

No matter how this guy's like, I'll never talk to you again. It's like, please have sex with me right now. Okay. We're dogs. Dear Brady, I've had erectile dysfunction for a long time, and I've tried everything, and I finally got a penile implant. My wife, before the implant, was always trying to make me hard. We saw therapists. We did everything you can think of. Pumps, all that stuff. And then we went to a therapist to See how we can live in an erectionless relationship. I'm only 48, by the way, and this has been going on for about 13 years. So I finally got the surgery and I'm fixed. It's about 80% as hard as it used to be when I was 17, but that's still good. And guess what? It's a lot bigger than I remember. Suddenly, now that I can get it there, my wife won't touch me or try. She starts crying. The things I've been through are a disaster, embarrassment, depression. She says I don't get erections because of her. I get erections because of the surgery. Oh, man, this dude is getting killed. And it makes her feel like it's been her fault the whole time. Long story short, I haven't even used this thing yet, and I'm dying to. You think banging a hooker or something would be so wrong at this point? Because what I did wasn't cheap emotionally or financially.

[Byron]

No. What he needs to do is be able to communicate to his wife he's still attracted to her, still wants to.

[John Holmberg]

I think he's gone. She's getting. He's getting wood. Like we're doing this. And then when he gets the wood, she gets sad.

[Byron]

She doesn't think she turns him on.

[John Holmberg]

She thinks that before it was all her fault because, look, it still works and it just took a doc.

[Byron]

And that's not the case.

[John Holmberg]

No. Unless it is.

[Byron]

Well, if it was, then he wouldn't be using it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, I mean, he might.

[Byron]

He wouldn't have gone out there and pushing it and then got it fixed. Yeah, he obviously still has a drive, but.

[John Holmberg]

Set her straight.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know what I've been through just to get a hard on for you and now you won't use it.

Are you kidding me?

It's crazy.

Leave her. Brett's with me. He likes that phrase.

[Brett Vesely]

Goodbye.

[John Holmberg]

Get her out of there. That's just mean. She's a gaslighter. They call that gaslighting. That's manipulation. You're doing a bunch of stuff. And then when you go and say, hey, I did what you did, and she goes, I didn't ask you to do that. Now, now you're. She's abusing you mentally.

[Brett Vesely]

I just take her phone and call Cordell and Cordell.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. Use her phone.

[Byron]

Got a new engine. Got a new engine ready to go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that. She was like, oh, and you're spending money on therapists and tricks and pills and all this other stuff because you're like, she Liked it when you weren't hard. This is almost that Munchausen syndrome where she kept you sick for so long.

[Byron]

Now it's fixed.

[John Holmberg]

And now it's fixed.

Throw her in Lake Tahoe. We just watched a video about that. There's tons of bodies down there.

[Byron]

Preserved.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Wow. All right. Leave her.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, immediately.

[John Holmberg]

The gay guy can't have sex with animals anymore. It makes his husband uncomfortable. And then your parents are swingers. Ignored. I think that's a good Christmas message. Just ignore all this stuff or leave them.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a lot cheaper to leave them now.

[John Holmberg]

Expedite it is.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't gotta buy Christmas presents.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's true. That's a good point. If you haven't done your Christmas shopping yet, today's the day. The 8th or 9th is the last day you can leave before you're obligated to a prize. You're right. Then you can go to Vegas by yourself for New Year's. Start using that new robot dick you got. Oh, let's go.

[Brett Vesely]

The money you saved. You buy one up there. Buy a broad up there.

[John Holmberg]

Get a broad up there and break out that R2D2PP you've got.

[Byron]

Could be an expensive Christmas. But it's just that, just this year.

[John Holmberg]

R2D2PP is a good band name.

That looks good on a marquee. I think people drive by going, R2D 2PP. What the. Oh.

It'S 9:31. There you go. Ignoring things. That's Brady's solution. And it works. I like it. Nice job. And leave that. She sounds horrible. Nicholas. There you go. That's what Brady did, everybody. It's 98.

[Byron]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

It's John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughns.com. i got a call from Doug the other day thanking me for leading so many of you guys his direction. He told me a story of a listener who had been through quite an ordeal and had a house they absolutely had to sell to feel like they were getting back to a normal place in life. You just never know when simple business transactions can actually change someone's life. So you want to deal with somebody great. TV's Doug Hopkins. That's your guy. So if you want to sell your house, start the process right now online@doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing.

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangealone.com I am so proud of myself. I just talked someone out of thinking that a 40 year home loan is a good idea. 40 years. What if I told you you can cut that loan down to around five years? Most Life Changer Loan clients do that. What if I told you you'd save about $250,000 in interest? Most Life Changer Loan clients do that. And those are just the averages. Some people, me included, save a ton more. You got to check it out. Lifechangerloan.com it's the way it should be. There's no catch. There's no gimmick. It's simple. It's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com.

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. The Offspring are the band of the week. If you're listening on the app, tap on that little thing on your phone or your screen or whatever you got to do, and you are automatically qualified for tickets to every KUPD show next year. That is the KUPD concert pass. You might win tickets to every Single show in 2026. Am I right? And the Offspring is this week's artist. So tap away on that app and get that together and maybe walk out of here with every single ticket to 2026 KUPD shows. And there's a lot of them if it's on our content.

[Byron]

Pop shows on that list.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe if you slip it in there, be like, hey, we'll tell you about this just so you can. Don't do that with K Pop. Larry just did two fingers and slip it in after showing me pictures of his K Pop adventure and they're all 13. It was more for the anime stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

That we went for.

[John Holmberg]

We went to this like K Pop anime mini parking lot convention thing in Mesa over the weekend. My daughter wanted to go. Sounds human trafficking to me. It was. It sounds like teenagers meet me in the parking lot. No parents should allow that. But that was there.

[Byron]

I couldn't believe how many people there were. There was like 50 something vendors.

[John Holmberg]

There was like, like 300 people there. My daughter won this huge prize pack of raffled prizes.

[Byron]

It was incredible.

[John Holmberg]

It's very strange, but I'm glad you enjoyed your weekend. But the anime stuff, that's more what we're into.

[Byron]

Not to the. Not the.

[John Holmberg]

The cap as a family. Yeah, yeah. A family of anime. I'm into the anime stuff. Are you? Yeah. What? Studio Ghibli. I love the Studio Ghibli.

[Dick Toledo]

Stuff.

[John Holmberg]

This is all new. Did you know this about our friend Larry? No, I didn't either. I love Anna anime. All right.

[Byron]

Any relation to Kim Ghibli?

[John Holmberg]

No, that's Kimmy Gibbler. You're thinking of Kimmy Gibbler, the neighbor. Always like to say that. Kimmy Gibblett. Kimmy Gibblet. Yeah. Kimmy Gibbler.

[Byron]

The.

[John Holmberg]

Is she the. What was the porn star's name? And the friend on Full House. But then there's Kimmy Granger. That's who I'd like to see. That's. Kimmy Granger's the one that I know. Different story. Kimmy Gibbler is gross. Yeah. Anyway, well, thanks, Larry. Yeah, tap that. Yeah, tap that track for the Offspring. And then, of course, as I said before, if we might slip that in there. And then Larry made that weird finger reference, and I'm like, yes, you did you. Did he not do that? Yeah, you're right, it is. That's why I pointed it out. Win all those tickets and maybe Larry can explain that to you later. But make sure that you have everybody id'd before we get. He's like the Tempe Tavern. Now we got an entertainment drill coming up next. It's 98.

They say things that are horrible.

Holmberg's morning sickness. Yeah. Today is an interesting day. All my emails are, you know, very funny, as usual. You listeners are quite hilarious a lot of the times. And then a few of you, quite a few of you, very nervous about the Somalians. I thought everybody'd kind of be on the same page with the Cinnabon girl being wrong. At least how she handled it. You can be mad at Somalians, but the way she handled it, probably not the best, right Call didn't seem that way. The N word. And then go and suck it. Suck it. I think that's bad customer relations. No matter how mad you are at the customer, not going to go your way. So she's got that thing. It's up to paying off. Nice work. 100 grand so far. And I haven't checked recently with the company yet. I haven't seen where the number has gone. But her GoFundMe hit $100,000 for that. And then I started to see all these people who are. I think they're watching the news too much. They suddenly have too much information about Somalians. And one guy told me, he said. Because I said Somalia, like, I've never seen one that, like, isn't emaciated. Like, they think I'm not too worried about it. That guy goes, cockroaches aren't scary. I can step on those too. But when you see one, there's a thousand more in your walls. And I'm like, does that mean there's thousands of Somalians in our walls? If I see one? You know what I mean? No, I don't. They're in my sewers.

Muslim lover. And then it just ends.

I just don't think. I'm afraid. Somebody told me they're all over here, too. Like on Thomas and 52nd Street. I live pretty close to that, so I got to check my walls later.

I'm not really concerned about the Somalians. They had their own country, really good.

[Byron]

With recommending wine and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's sommelier. That's different. They're different. And they can be pirate. Like, sometimes those guys will jump up on your car and start trying to feed you a screaming Eagle. Opus 1. Take it. It's sommelier. Pirates.

No, I'm confused By the, like, 12, 15 days ago, nobody cared. And everybody's mad at Somalians. They had their own country. Their ideas were so bad in that country, it didn't work. So if they came over with their ideas here and win us over, aren't we the gullible ones?

Tim Walsh, man, I've never once heard the phrase in America. You know, that group of Somalians has a great idea politically, they brought a lot of their ideas over, and I think we should start leaning into it. No, I'm not really worried about the Somali takeover. I know. I know you're gonna bark at me about government funding and all this other stuff.

A lot of stuff goes to bad places. When the news tells you to hate somebody, you do it. Somalians.

If I see it on TV and Trump's, like, tied to a chair, and you just hear, I am the captain now, then I'll worry. But until then, pretty much. And maybe 10 years from now, this whole thing will be played. And see, they weren't afraid of them. Look, there's billions of them. I don't see it happening. And I just don't think that the Cinnabon employee is a hero.

Could handle that better.

[Byron]

She's the voice of America.

[John Holmberg]

She's not. Let's just make that clear. She's not representative of all of our feelings towards Somalian people who want a delicious sticky bun. Those people haven't eaten since, like, 97. Sally Struthers used to throw food at him, and they wouldn't eat it. They got Cinnabon. Now they're gonna celebrate that. And they might get a little cocky about it. They're thinking about all the people back home who haven't ever had a Cinnabon. They might be pretty, maybe almost intolerable.

But you can't go calling people the N word at work. No matter how mad you are.

[Byron]

It never works.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't work. You can't defend it because it never works. Well, it should, but it doesn't. Same argument when people used to walk around with pot when it was illegal and go, it should be legal, and they're getting handcuffed. This is stupid. Like, yeah, but it is illegal. And you know that. That. You're right. It is stupid, but it is illegal. Surprised at how many people hate Somalians. On the emails today. I didn't realize we were doing that. I gotta get on board. I gotta start getting in touch with stuff. I didn't know we hated Somalians like this, but we do. Yuck. Sorry, Somali guy. Who's here?

And how bad is Somalia that Minnesota is a better option. Here's what I hope our headquarters are in Minnesota, and I hope those Somalians get real hungry and eat all of Hubbard broadcasting's leaders.

Just chow down on every one of the bobs. They just kick that door open. We are in charge of radio now. Oh, geez. I hope they don't get my oh, no programming.

I am the programmer now.

Yeah, I hope they eat all the Bobs. Oh, can we pray to Brady's God again? Oh, dearest Brady's God, can the Somalian overflow of Minnesota please eat our headquarters and all the Bobs and all the owners and all the people, please. Bobs get eaten by the Somalians of Minnesota. Please, Lord. Brady, I don't know what ulcer boys would do at this point. Is there something you should say? Ha ha ha ha.

[Byron]

Here's a snickers and a coke.

[John Holmberg]

Lamb of God Adam there. I think I cemented that one.

Praying against the Muslims eating our people. All right, Brady, it's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] it's the home of tactical black. And if you want to defend yourself from the Somalian guy walking around here in Phoenix, well, darn it all, they can help with that. He comes up and he goes, I am dick. He won't even get the word captain out before you've had it. And they'll teach you how to deescalate a situation unlike Cinnabon girl. Be like, there's no reason to start screaming the N word at people. Just tip your cap and go, you're insane. I'm going to walk away and have you removed. It's an easier thing to do. And you'll keep your job. They do de escalation classes, they do fight classes, they do gun safety, gun defense, knife knife defense, gun retention. I could go on and on and on because they just keep going. And it's for 89 bucks for the month. If you go to reactdefense.com you get one month of training for $89. All the classes they offer for 89 bucks. And that is a lot. Trust me on that one. Head on over there. React defense dot com. That's the home of tactical black Brady. Entertain me.

[Byron]

This past Friday, President Trump announced the real football.

Soccer should be called football.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He wants to change the name of American football.

[Byron]

And some suggestions came in. Flying in like gridiron. Someone said pigskin.

[John Holmberg]

We just call it pig skin tackle.

[Byron]

Football or American football.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't you call it American Football?

[Byron]

Trump ball.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good.

[Byron]

That one's not bad. But I kind of like this one. Hand egg or egg ball.

[John Holmberg]

What about Ball of America?

[Byron]

They have a mariball.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, that's not bad.

[Byron]

And then there are some other suggestions like kickball, Millionaire fight club.

Full contact chess.

Yard ball.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just tired of it being confused with the beautiful game. Big soccer guy. But you gotta call it that. Why don't we just call American football soccer? That fix everything. Just move it over. This is soccer now. And football is football. It's soccer. Soccer fixed. Another thing, stopping wars and renaming games. I'm good.

[Byron]

Us Weekly put together and ranked the list of the best Christmas movies of all time according to their IMDb score.

[John Holmberg]

Of all time. Yep, there's like a couple hundred.

[Byron]

One came in at 8.6.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, those. I see what you're saying. Okay, that meant 100 rotten tomatoes thing.

[Byron]

But number 10, love. Actually 2003, it had a 7.5 enjoyable. Number nine, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Fun. Number eight, the Bishop's Wife, 1947.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's. Damn it, that's not Betty Davis is. It doesn't.

[Byron]

I don't know, it doesn't say White Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

Number seven, Ben Crosby, super long. Don't show that to your kids. They'll hate you.

[Byron]

Home alone.

[John Holmberg]

Number six, you say homo loan.

[Byron]

The nightmare before Christmas. Number five, a Christmas story. Number four, miracle on 34th Street.

[John Holmberg]

Number three, the 1940 and not the cruddy one.

[Byron]

A Christmas Carol. 1951. Number two, it's a wonderful Life.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Which is not a Christmas life number. Not a Christmas movie. It's a movie about mental health and a deranged man with delusions of grandeur who's also suicidal and needs help.

[Brett Vesely]

I never watched it.

[John Holmberg]

If you considered watch it with the way I tell you to watch it and you'll be like, this dude's out of his mind. And he thinks if he's. If he leaves the planet, it falls apart. Which is called schizophrenic behavior. If you think you die and the world falls apart, you've got delusions, you're schizophrenic.

[Byron]

So that has an 8.6 and number two, A Christmas Carol 19 has 8.1. But people were wondering about Die Hard on IMDb the Score. Die Hard is 8.2, which was at second place.

[John Holmberg]

George Bailey's flat. Insane. I'd lasso the moon and I drag it toward you. Oh, God, he's having an episode. Nobody listens to me. I'm gonna jump off a bridge. But then he imagines a person who becomes his imaginary friend and yet talks him down off the bridge to show him what life would be like if he was dead and his mother's a whore. That's a fact, Brett. He goes back and finds out his mom's running a brothel. This is a Christmas movie. No, this is darker than Brokeback Mountain. George Bailey was a lunatic.

Lunatic. And he has this crazy fever dream about how the world would change if he wasn't in it and how great it is because he is. He's gonna kill someone. It's a Wonderful Life too. He's in trial for something.

[Byron]

Lindsay Wagner celebrated the 50th anniversary of the Bionic Woman.

[John Holmberg]

God, I missed that one. That was a good one.

[Byron]

They open up a little pop up store. You get signed photos, printed copies of scripts.

[John Holmberg]

She's just in it.

[Byron]

Yeah, she showed up and then she signed a bunch of stuff that would.

[John Holmberg]

Be pretty disappointing if you saw right now in our parking lot, oh my God, a Bionic Woman pop up store. And Lindsay Wagner is going to be here. I haven't seen Lindsay Wagner since that show. So seeing her today. Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want it. Because that's the picture I'm thinking of.

[Byron]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to see what's happened to her over the last 50 years.

[Byron]

You can have a video chat. They range from 50 to 250 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

I guarantee every guy in line would get up There and go. Hi, how are you? Thanks for coming. I'd like to talk to Lindsay Wagner. Well, that's me.

What happened? Well, I'm 79 now. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Last time I saw you were 30. Yeah, this is no good.

[Byron]

Shirley Manson from Garbage hates beach balls. She went off on a guy at a concert other day because he's having beach ball, having fun, you know, batting them around. And she just obliterated this dude.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, verbally.

[Byron]

Told fans to. Basically, it was a. A hit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she told him to kill the guy.

[Byron]

Punch him in his face.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she told him to kill the guy.

[Byron]

Right now.

[John Holmberg]

Who loved beach balls. And then they show a clip of the concert before she got mad. Everybody's got inflatables. It looks fun. Speech balls floating around. There's a. An alligator. They're batting that around. And then Shirley Manson from Garbage, remember them? Gets upset and starts just telling them, knock it off. Like they're the Rolling Stones or something. And then one guy screams, violence is not the answer, Shirley. And then the video ends. It's pretty great. Garbage can't be mad that they have a crowd. Just go to the show and just like, jesus, a lot of people here.

[Byron]

She kind of walked it back. The next show. Said, I apologize if I got.

[John Holmberg]

But you know about the beach ball thing.

[Byron]

Yeah. And then they boot her too.

[Brett Vesely]

Up Francis.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Byron]

And then doubled down on the beach balls. It was like crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Get to stupid girl and get off the stage.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. I'm only happy when it rains.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, you're done. We're out a couple of great ones. Yeah, the butch big ones. He's in that, man. Get those out of the way. And then get off for the. I'm sure the headliners thrilled at the openers. Yelling at the crowd.

That's it for us. We're all done. Larry's coming up next to tell you about K Pop Demon Hunter weekend.

A little uncomfortable with Larry's weekend. Yeah. Here he comes. Larry's next and he's gonna have more info for you guys to get the KUPD concert pass. Plus plenty of other stuff Larry gives you. He's nice. Be nice back and you'll feel the rewards in your pockets. And with that finger thing he does. It's 10:08. We're done. You guys have a great one. We'll see you tomorrow on the Morning Sickness.

[Byron]

Hello. It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

It's John Holmerg here from the Morning Sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Have you ever thought to yourself, I'm gonna sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say you can sell that house the day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything. Won't move the price or you get $5,000. What do you do? Start the process right now@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing Hopkins One Income Rich Sale. Now. It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness for lifechangealone.com having good credit is a sign you're probably good with your finances. What if I told you you can control your home equity and do your banking inside of that? That sounds confusing, but your equity is your savings. You have earned that. If I want to completely remodel my house, I don't need a new loan. I have access to my money. The word you're looking for is freeing life. Change the way the system should be. Go to the website and check the numbers for yourself. Then you'll realize it's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan. Com.