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You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that? Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands. Okay, but what if he lives out of state? Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple. There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. Be the family, make a kid happy, and win a new car. It's the 25th anniversary of Operation Santa Claus, presented by Sanders and Ford. Sanders and Lincoln, U haul and ABC15. Make a donation of food, new toys, child size clothing or money and you could win a new Ford F150 truck or Lincoln Corsair SUV. For more info go to givetothecloth.com.
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Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.
Only seven more times with the gang From Miles to Nowhere and their amazing theme song for our show for 2025. Excellent work, Miles to Nowhere. Go see them somewhere if you have a chance. They are a fun band. Katie and the Hobbs a couple years ago. Laughing our asses off at them last year. Fantastic. And all year long we've been praising them. So they won our hearts and our minds.
Kelly Turley says Lamar Jackson looks like Sandra Bernhardt to me. And I'm like, oh my God, they're the same. Remember Sandra Bernhardt? I'm trying. She was like a 90s comedian with this weird Madonna's best friend. Yeah, she was Madonna's pal for a while and she did comedy and she wrote like opinion pieces and she was like an A writer and she wasn't ever funny. I didn't get it. She was just weird looking and that's why she got famous. And you're right, she is a white female. Lamar Jackson.
So true.
So real. And everybody's emailing me their.
Horror stories of driving to Queen Creek. If you don't live in Queen Creek, you don't understand what we're talking about. But, you know, if you were in Queen Creek and somebody had a party in Glendale, you wouldn't go. Absolutely not. My car broke down. Sorry. Queen Creek's just too far.
Like, I think. I think you can throw rocks and hit Casa Grande, right?
Just on the other side of that hill. There has to be, like, ice raids like crazy just near there. Well, you're near Florence and everything else out there. A great house, though. And I said, gez, Shane, this is a beautiful home. He goes, yeah, it's 453,000 square feet. I'm like, that's the biggest. That's a. That's the Empire State Building. He goes, yeah. Said, if you don't mind what you pay for it. And he goes, $130. I'm like, my God, this. The prices out here are incredible. Goodbye.
Kind of made it worth it to make the trek, but, my Lord, I didn't realize it till you're about 38 minutes into the drive and you look at the GPS and you're still 15 or 16 minutes away. Like, how is this happening?
But good on him. It's a beautiful place. And he sold stuff. I ended. I think I'm buying a golf simulator and a golden tee because he had. What are you doing? Come on. Look, he has a toy room and I have Peter Pan complex. So I went in there and I'm like, I don't have that. And that's something I want. So I already got on the horn with Meathead over at Prestige Billiards. Were. We're making a swaparoo on Wednesday. It's happening. I can't live without it now. Now that I've seen it and played it spectacular.
This flat. Great. And, Brady, since you've had your kidney issues, I have been doing research because I care about things to, you know, answer questions if someone has them. When they ask me, how's Brady this and that, I'm like, I don't know. I just know anything about kidney. So my algorithm has kind of gotten. Especially because I was searching while you were in the hospital, like, what's that mean? What's that mean? And found out a bunch of things and kind of got a little educated on the kidney situation. Not like, overly, but enough to know that if someone's talking about your problem or someone is, you know, saying, oh, I had this from alcohol, that I could be a little bit of a, you know, more educated in the conversation. But due to those searches, I now get all sorts of kidney transplant and kidney disease stories. Did you see the one about the dude who finally got the transplant and the dude had rabies? No. Okay. Wait, what? Yeah. So, you know, all Brady's doing when he gets cleared is rooting for people to die in car wrecks so he can get himself a kidney. That's just basically what people. I've read that too. And deep down, that's not what they talk about. And I don't need a transplant, so I can speak openly with people who do watch the news different than all the rest of us. They see car crashes and like, how young and how healthy were the people in the car? And then they make phone calls to their doctors, like agents, hey, saw that car crash over there on the freeway. That's by Globe. One of those for me. And they, you know, sorry about that. That's going to another. Damn it. It's like getting roles in Hollywood. What you guys are gonna. They're hard to get, and you're really shooting for a few good ones. So if you see a car wreck up on a. You know what I'd be doing if I was you is just flashing people on that horrible 95 on your way to Vegas. Just go up to wiki up or something and just stand on the side of the road and for no reason at all, just lift your shirt up and then watch that car just snake off into the desert and go, got one. It's like fishing for kidneys. This dude got somebody. He was rooting for it, made the call, he saw the car wreck. How young are the people? He goes, this one's yours. It's like a healthy 24 year old. All right, Yahoo runs down to the hospital. They gotta get this thing in him. Toot sweet. Like, they looked at him. This guy's on the donor list. Is he healthy as a horse. Plop it right inside of him. Didn't know that the dude had been bitten by something and had rabies and put his rabies infested kidney right inside of this dude. And he ended up getting rabies and dying. Oops.
All that waiting. Because he rescued a raccoon. Yeah. It was an Idaho based donor at a hospital and they met in Ohio. The recipient started feeling, oh, I don't think my kidney's taken. And they come back and was like, you have no infection. You're not rejecting it. We don't know what's going on. Have you been bitten by a wolverine or anything recently? He goes, I don't think so. So you'd know.
No, wildlife has taken a chunk out of me. It's like, that's weird. He's trouble swallowing, had a fever. His nervous system started going. They're like, this is no good. 51 days after the transplant, he croaks dead from rabies. It's a good 51 day run. No, it wasn't. Most of it was sick. Brady, stop it. You can't put rose colored glasses on this. So here's another thing we got to worry about for Brady is that his new kidney in a. In a few months, whenever he decides to take that dead kid's kidney and put it in his body that the kid had rabies. So check for bite wounds on the victim. If Brady wasn't sitting here, I would think it was Brady. Need the transplant animal. But come on. It's good. But if anybody is going to get rabies in their new kidney and ruin it for the dead kid in the car. Because they won't give you a kidney until you clear all the tests. Right. So you've got a few months to wait before you can actually even get on the list. Yeah. Unless. And your function has to drop down. Yeah. And you have to drop out of the. So if you dropped off, they'd be like, let's get him fast. But right now you're going good enough to the. They're like, let's just make sure he's in the clear from the cancer part. Yeah. And then. And then we'll put a new Kidney. Yeah. After two years from the operation. Yes. Like 18 months after the day they took it. And then. And then they start saying, all right, you can get a transplant now. Let's keep an eye on you and put you there. So if you get to that point in a year and a half and they get. Make sure that the kid that's giving it to you. Go inspect the body is what I'm saying. Put a little Ed Gein move and just go, what are these bite marks? I don't want this one. And then when it gets put in you, you can't go handling wildlife anymore because that kid gave you his kidney. So you got to treat it a little better than risk rabies. You can't risk rabies anymore like you do now. Who knows? Maybe in two years they're 3D printing. Yeah, I hope so. That'd be great. Then you don't have to worry about kids dying in wrecks like you like. Like you are now. It's really going to stink in month 16 or 17 if like a whole busload of donors goes off a cliff. Come on. This couldn't have happened a month from now. Come on. Seats taken? Like 14 good ones on there. Ah, nuts.
Brady's walking through the hospital.
That one's still beeping.
How you doing, little shaver? Not so great, sir. The car crash was pretty rough. Mom says you're an organ donor. Boop. Yeah, I am, mister. Boop. It's a nice pillow. Can I feel it? Boop. I guess so. Boop. What are you putting up my face?
He didn't make it. This one's ready. We get a ripe one. Pull it out. Or he just unplugs it because he gotta charge his iPhone. That's what I have to come in here. No idea, mister. I'm gonna need that machine. That's all right. I'll. I'll plug you back in in a second. You'll be all right for a minute. I'm down to 2%. Hey, look at some Instagrams.
And just like milk. I ain't touching 2%.
Yeah, you gotta look at my Instagram. And I'm buying myself some stuff because I'm gonna make it.
Thanks to you, Timmy. Yeah, organ. Organ donors. Yeah, they're. They don't realize what they've done to organ kneaders.
You can't help it. You would never watch if you needed your kidney tomorrow the news and see that there was a horrible car crash of, you know, 19 year old, a football team, you know, like a Division 3, nobody cares football team off a gorge and they find all their bodies and you would watch that and just go, yeah. If you needed a kidney when you don't, it's tragic, but you don't. Hey, sorry about your loss. You wouldn't ever see that on the news and go, I hope they all make it. Nuh. Deep down, you know you're not gonna say that.
Maybe if some make it.
Like, you know, the weaker kicker or something. I don't want his kidney anyway. I want a linebacker kidney. But rabies, you got to worry about that now.
It's just a second rabies story in a week in the kidneys. The guy rescued a raccoon. Yeah. Yeah, well that guy that probably a lot more rescue, will you? This is where we have to change your brain. He didn't rescue the raccoon. He picked up a woodland creature and played with it whether it needed help or not. That's just the way the world works. Rescued a rat. They don't need us. Leave them alone. You're gonna end up with it.
Rescued a raccoon. The only thing you can do to a raccoon needs help is kick it off the side of the road so it doesn't get squashed into eating bread. Yeah, no don't. It doesn't need you. Your arrogance can take a break. The raccoon's dying on his own. When has a raccoon ever seen one of us on the side of the road and gone over and pulled us? Let's help it. They don't need us and we don't need them. Only in Disney movies do woodland creatures pick up the princess and move her. You get hit by a car, you lay on the side of the car. You know the only thing they do eat ya cause they're not hypocrites.
And that's the way we should do it West Virginia style. You see a raccoon on the side of the road struggling stew, you put a shovel on its head and you make dinner for five.
This is something else Brady and you should know about kidney transplants. A patient will get a kidney from someone approximately the same age. I have a dear friend, 75 who took himself off the transplant list due to the fact that he was looking to get a 75 year old kidney. He only go through kidney surgery if there's a chance of having to go through another surgery after that old ass kidney failed. Yeah, I demand teen kidneys. Morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible.
It's John Holbrook from the morning sickness and football season is in full swing and underdog is the biggest, best place to get in on all the action. Playing on underdog is easy. Just pick whether your favorite player is going to go higher or lower on stats like rushing yards, receptions, touchdowns. This week I'm looking at my Steelers and I am selecting Darnell Washington to go higher than one touchdown and hoping that Lamar Jackson goes lower on rushing yards. Download the app today. Sign up with promo code HMS to score $100 in bonus entries when you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 + 19 + in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 + in Colorado, 21 + in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog Fantasy operates terms. Apply the assets.underdog fantasy.com web play and getterms._dfs_html for details offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org In New York, call the 247 Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY 467369 It's John Holberg here from the Morning sickness to tell you about my friends@turfmonstersaz.com you got something you want to do in that backyard because it not what you want it to be. Make it beautiful with Turf Monsters AZ.com youm can turf it. You throw in a sport court. You can put pavers, lighting, pergolas, plants, fire pits. You dream it up and they can make it a reality. Turf monsters will turn your backyard into an amazing outdoor space you can use every day of the year. Check it out right now. Turf Monsters AZ.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
Teen kidneys is a good band name.
Demand it. But Brady makes sure you're tested for rabies and so is the dead kid that you're stealing organs from. Ed Gein.
Make sure of it. You didn't have rabies. Did he? That's the first thing you need to ask.
Please, for God's sakes, be smarter than this. Got any pets? Yes, he has a pet raccoon.
Next.
I'll wait for another dead kid. Brady's driving around looking at those crosses on the i17, dusting them off. When in this one. Go. Oh, 25. Hey, we got one. Oh, yeah. I'm calling about the wreck that happened up here on bloody Basin road in the 17. Is that kid still in the. Is he all right? He didn't make it. I'm on my way.
Stop by Banner gateway every day. What's going on? Yeah. Got any people in their last legs? Disease free. Where's that girl whose heads falls off? Where is she? I'm gonna push her. She an organ downer? Yeah. Brady doesn't ask you if you're an organ donor now because of philanthropy. He's got ulterior motives. He's gonna do spike strips on the 60 trying to get people to. There he is. Roll him out.
But you got a ways to go. So you're not thinking about it yet. No, but you will be.
And you know it. That's the worst part. I need a kidney now. It's the saddest part of organ donation. They don't have like a fridge full of frozen kidneys like you do when you get a side of beef. That stuff's got to go right from the warmth of the corpse into the warmth of you.
Like within a day. My friend's a transplant doctor. He invented some sort of weird thing that makes brain dead people more brain dead or something. I don't know how it works. He clips off Their jugular and sends the blood back into the organs so they're healthier. Well, he can harvest them while they're technically still kind of hanging around. But their brains don't work.
I've seen pictures. I didn't realize how big a liver was.
Livered chunks up like most of your chest cabinets. It's huge.
Well, they can remove part of it. Oh, it's gargantuan. I had no idea how big a liver was until I said. Because I think of it like when you're eating liver, which I wouldn't do. But when you see that doesn't look. Yeah. It's so gross. Grossest food ever. I was like, how do we make this taste better? Onions. Like, loads of them.
If you want never to have sex again, eat liver and onions and then just lay in your own stink. Anyway, we're worried about you a little bit. Brady on this thing. Getting rabies is Brett's right. Your candidate. A&1A for having a guy give you a kidney and then giving that guy's kidney rabies. The fact you've dodged rabies is beyond all of us.
So I had this pet raccoon when I was a kid. I'm like, how did he do it? How did he do it? Rachel lived in her attic until she started to try to kill my sister. But they do that. It was cute. It's in the basement or attic. The raccoon was found in the attic. Found and kept are two different things. Because you made sure to it was in your bedroom. Yeah, he stayed my bedroom. How? How Earth. How has he not gotten rabies? They found a raccoon in his basement. And Bray's like, that's mine. It's at my grandfather's house. And his parents are like, okay, roof. If you found a raccoon in the house and tried to befriend it. Solution from Kirk. Oh, five across the mountain. Yeah, you're getting smacked and that thing's getting killed and kicked the hell out of here. But your parents are like, neato. And you kept a raccoon in the house. That's insanity. With the ferret. Yeah. Found ferret or purchased? Purchased. Okay, good. My brother got the ferret. How long did you have the raccoon for? Till it started bite. Till it ate my room. It started tear stuff up.
Because it was a wild animal imprisoned by Brady, who thought he was giving it a better life, and it was just days away from giving him rabies.
If you're an organ donor, by all means, make a call today. And say, hey, I don't think I want my organs in Brady. He's just going to give him rabies.
But this I thought of with you when I saw that story. I'm like, oh, my God, we're going to read about this again someday. Rabies, guys putting them. Putting their organs in each other. Be careful.
And also, Cinnabon was in the news this weekend. That was pretty funny. Sure was. That was pretty sweet. It's not their fault. Cinnabon's great. You can't walk by a Cinnabon without thinking, I think I love Cinnabon. Like, there's no way you can go buy one and not get hungry. You could eat a full meal and walk by a Cinnabon and go, oh, my God, I gotta have a Cinnabon. That smell electric. And I think I'd let the girl behind the counter call me the N word like nine times for a delicious. And you know what I noticed in the video? If you're not paying attention, a girl at Cinnabon and the people were. It sounded African. And she said, yeah, I'm racist. And you're a. Like, whoa, you're just buying a cinnamon bun. A little aggressive right off the bat. How bad did that transaction go that it turned into that? All. All the dude wanted was a toasty cinnamon bun. Yeah. What? What? How do you end up getting the opener? I end up getting called for just asking for a Cinnabon. You got it. And make it snappy. Oh, you.
Excuse me. Are you racist? How many. How many things have to go wrong for the girl at Cinnabon to hand you that bag and then start hitting you with N bombs? Also, I noticed you never saw the bag go back.
The people recording that were getting called the N word, they hung onto that Cinnabon for dear life. That thing ain't going back to. We're going to eat this, but I won't tolerate. I'm breaking my phone out. What happened? Like, I need to know what happened. Want to make sure? Just so you know, she was fired. Okay. Yeah, Cinnabon said we got rid of her. Of course you did. But what. Tell us what happened to go from, hi, welcome to Cinnabon. Can I help you? Because I know that it's go, Hi, welcome to Cinnabon. Can I help you? I can't play. Oh, do they beep it? Yeah, they beeped it. It's crazy. Are you recording? I'm gonna record you. Yes. Do you want me to throw water? I am racist. And you are. You are idiot. No, I'm not racist. And I'll say that to the whole entire. There's this Cinnabon in his hand. He's not giving that back. Ruining your life, by the way. Oh, talking about. You're talking about respect. You're talking about respect. You are fired from this place, mother. You're not gonna be working here. Suck it. Suck what? Look how you look at. What's wrong with you. What the is wrong with. Get the out of me, please, man. How bad did it get from? Hi, welcome to Cinnabon. I'll just have a Cinnabon because that's all they've got. And to this. Get the out of here.
How bad? That's how we roll on Wisconsin. Typical packers fan for you, Right? But again, watch the video closer. He's still hanging on to that Cinnabon he got from her. Would you eat that? No. That's how good Cinnabon is a racist. Called you the N word eight times. And she made you that Cinnabon and you kept it. Company announces termination. Of course. I mean, come on. But I'm more interested in the dude. Her career at Cinnabon's. She was on the fast track for management. Now she's not. She was going to be the next Gene Takovich got hired at Popeye. She's going to. Never once. Yeah, I'll go there. Never once. Did dude put the package back? No, he kept it. I know you would keep it. You did the shoulder shrug. So I assume. Well, I mean, it's not Cinnabon's fault because not only I got these delicious rolls, but I have this video gold. Okay, no, but you. You don't. You don't get it because you're white. I think you have to think like a black man. She revealed herself. What? What didn't I know about this? If she's that racist, there's no way she's making, you know, health acceptable treats for all the black employees or black customers. She's got the special tray of for them. Exactly. And I think there's no possible way after the employee at Cinnabon calls you the N word five times that you keep the Cinnabon. But that's how good Cinnabon is. I will eat around the hate and spit. Dude ate it. And later he was like, can you believe that.
Cinnabon called it N word five times. Do you have any more frosting? Oh. Oh, it's so good. I just think about the guy that you knew that was making the ranch and was just exactly right in it. We Were at a. I worked at Gallagher's 30 years ago, and he was talking to me. A five gallon bucket, stirring up the ranch dressing, mayonnaise, milk, and whatever that powder is. I don't know what's going to happen this weekend. The bears don't. The bears don't have a better friend. Like, what's the. What was that? Huh? Nothing. Right? I don't know what you're talking about. Are you spitting in the bucket? Yeah. It's five gallons. Nobody's gonna know.
And then I was scooping out those little cups for prep out of that bucket, thinking, is this the one? Is this the one?
Any employee calls you the N word, they have revealed what they do to the food. I ask all black people, listening to email and saying, thank you for the Cinnabon. And then even if they say, have a nice day, like, what? Here, keep this. I'm not eating what you make. But that's how good Cinnabon is. Even a black person getting called the N word five or six times didn't give it back.
Probably shared it with his kids.
Well, maybe not that, but probably shared it with us, whoever that lady was with him yelling. But, yeah, that was a. That was a good one. I don't blame Cinnabon. We got to stop doing stuff like that. What happened at your last job? Oh, what are you asking me that for? Okay, I remember the video.
Yeah. I don't know where she'll. Nobody's gonna remember her. And that's it. I mean, as a. As a man of whiteness, I don't know what that feels like, but I know it exists. You black people constantly buy things from racists. They don't even know it. And the racists do a pretty good job of protecting their money by not being outwardly racist. But when they do it that way, they're doing horrible stuff. Especially if they're like, oh, here comes. If you're in Wisconsin. Oh, yeah. You're like one of three black people. So they're like, oh, here they come. She's prepping for you. I got a Cinnabon for them. No way. It's those people at Cinnabon. Michael Parsons. And that's about it. Yeah, Michael Parsons rolls in and she's probably like. She probably says that white thing. He's one of the good ones. Like, she'll give him a fresh Cinnabon. He helped us beat the birds. Jordan love borderline. Like, they don't even. They don't even. He's just tan.
But when you've got an accent and you're in Wisconsin. Be super hyper aware walking up to the Cinnabon. Hello. Welcome to Cinnabon. Whoa. I will let that slide because it's so delicious. Order for Romeo Dubs.
All right, let me say order for your orders up. I believe that is us, honey. Morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible.
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Are you going to take that from her? Yes. They're so good. Just smell.
It's delicious.
But yeah, so I was watching that, and I'm like, people are going to blame Cinnabon for this. They don't know. You got to ask questions in the interview that are different now. Are you a racist and have you ever been fired for being racist? And how does she. Does she have any references to Cinnabon going on her next application as a race? Who's going to say yes? Well, that's the point, though. She did. I am a racist, if you're curious. Yes, I'm racist. She says it in the video. You might get her to snap, and that should be a requirement also. Well, try to get her to snap. Yeah, that's what I want to know. It's like. Like you said, there's. There's obviously more to that discussion going on because it Turned. So how. What can go so wrong in a Cinnabon? Yeah. What did they. What. What was said that triggered. It's like. It's like taking a little couple steps. Like you're in the mall and then you're in heaven and you're kind of just standing there. You're next in line at Cinnabon. You're next. I am the customer, everyone. No, you're not. Everyone's happy. Everyone's happy because Cinnabon, they don't have a lot to do. Just keep the buns coming. And there's dudes in the back doing it. And the girls up front are like, you want the little ones or the big ones? Their only job is to put something in a bag. I said, yeah, and sometimes you do that too, but that's easy. And you put it in the bag and then you just go, bye. What happened? Where did the middle go?
President John said, I've never been to Cinnabon, but it's good to know they actually got a Cinnabon side and an N word bun side of Cinnabon. Yeah. So you're going to get the N word version of the Cinnabons and it's going to be not frosting. Yeah, I just. I want the backstory. I want the thing before the camera started rolling, how awful things had to get from I'll have two Cinnabons to getting called the N word. I don't even know how to track that. What could possibly go wrong?
Hello, you fat white.
There we go. Now it makes sense. It was her boyfriend. I don't know.
I am here to order a Cinnabon from Alicia the fat white. What? Who sent you here? You're a. But yeah, when somebody says, are you're a racist? Because you will know I am a racist. She's. She's blowing it up. And did she finish the shift? Did the manager need her? Was it next customer up in line? Right. I'm signing with you next. Oh, great. It's Mickle Parsons.
I think. Yeah. But if you're black and in line next. After that. Excuse me, I'll take a C. Have a Citibote, please. But not from her. Go to. I want a fresh one. I want to see you make it.
Here we go. Another one. Yeah. Do you still. Because it's the smell. Someone no showed at work. Oh, yeah, she's mad. She's not supposed to be there. The manager's like, could you just stop calling the customers to N word and just finish the shift? And then we'll talk. Well, you're one of them, too. No, Gene. What are you one of them? Lovers like, look, I just want to get rid of the buns and go home. I'm a Cinnabon manager. Things aren't working out for me already. Don't put me on tape.
Oh, Gene, you think you've got it all figured out with your un. Dreams of a happy, diverse world. Was this a deleted scene from Better Call Saul or what Kind of. Gene had to go put a stop to that. I'm gonna have to take you off the schedule for a week. But, yeah, I just. I want to know how that happened. I want to know how things go that sideways. And usually it's the customer losing their mind. Those two made that Cinnabon girl a. That she was mad that they exist. Had to work on Black Friday. Yeah. And. Yeah, that's killing her. Black Friday special drags them out. Here they come.
And it went from those two walking by going, let's get a Cinnabon. How bad could today be? I love you. I love you. Cinnabon in hand. Never had it before. I hear the smell. Look, I'm hypnotized. Welcome to Cinnabon. What?
It had to start there. It had to start there. But, you know.
I think all job interviews for low level positions should be done by someone of the opposite race. And the job interview should be an attempt to antagonize them.
Pressure. Yeah. Just if you're a black interviewer on a crazy white girl, you should say stuff like, do you mix races in relationships? Like, that should be the first question. And just see what she says. If she looks at, like, she's even like, gets a little grouchy face. What the hell's that about? Sounds like Chevy Chase and Richard Pryor. Yeah. That's one of the greatest Saturday Night Live things ever. That was a job interview. Yep, that's right. Yeah, we should show them that. And if they laugh at it, we can't work here.
Should have Brett interview everybody and find out if they. Yeah, it's all right. Say it. Do you ever use terrible language like, I don't know. Oh, my God. Dead honk. Go ahead, say it. Say it to me. I want to hear you say it. And you know, if she said it before and how she says in an interview and you want to risk it.
Man.
Cinnabon. And if you were next to in line, would you still after all that, Brett would. Oh, I would. Will you guys hurry up? I couldn't get out of line. I'd Be laughing too much. Oh, you. And I'd be on the floor like Curly from the Three Stooges, just spinning and running in place. But how. Yeah, how's the next check going? Wow, that went sideways. Anyway, I'll have a large cine bond and two of the baby cine bonds. You want a Coke? No, I'd get Coke somewhere else. I'll get Coke for me Coke. When trying to get my teeth to fall out today, Just want a Cinnabon. Like a gallon of milk. Back there. You find out that the couple filming was. They own the Cineholics, rival company.
They're anti ants. They're down there. Pretzel shop is getting killed by the cinnamon people. Watch this. I'll go down there and make them call me a you go, honey. Save the anti ants.
One Cinnabon, please. Cracker. And he didn't film that part. That part wasn't on tape. And that just sent that little hillbilly into a rage.
That's one place I've never understood. You get an African accent.
And you left Africa, I'm assuming. Why would you land in Wisconsin and stick around? That's worse.
I'd rather wear, you know, Kansas City Chiefs, 2024 World Champion shirts and walk around in poverty than live in Wisconsin as a black man with an African accent. And we see why he can't get a Cinnabon without it turning into 1963.
Anyway. God, now I'm talking about it that much. Now you want to Cinnabon Cinnabon from her. The angrier the Cinnabon, the better.
It's made with hate. It's just a drip. Fresh hate drifts with hate. It melts a little better in your mouth. Man, these racist Cinnabons are good.
But I hate that Cinnabon got into the news for it because you can't say. And it's. It makes. You know, it's different when it's like McDonald's or something that happens. You're like. You can see one of those people cracking Cinnabon. You're around that smell all day. Probably a little dizzy. It's still work. But.
There'S no. There's nobody coming in like Brady, 7 year old, a boy in culottes ordering a grilled Cinnabon with cheese. It's like they can't specialize. We don't have anything but the ingredients that make a Cinnabon. That's it. We have the breading. We have. What is the. What is that called? The bread. That's some sort of Special dough. They used to call it monkey bread, but I don't think you can do that. She would. Yeah. Oh, she would do it. And then your frosting's got the cinnamon. They've got cinnamon. They've got the orange frosting. They do, yeah. Oh, you've been. I thought Cinnabon. Just one. That was one thing. Who would ever deviate from the perfect recipe of Cinnabon to try another frosting? I think you can get other stuff on there. No, it's perfect as is. Who adds to a Cinnabon? What are you? Emerald Communist. Communist, Exactly. I think your mom. Donnie, if you're going in there special, ordering a Cinnabon, well, no wonder she lost her mind. Why would you screw with perfection? It's like telling Picasso, nose is crooked. Oh, get out. Get out.
Oh.
No.
The rolls and then the little rolls. That's it. They have big and they have many. Oh, just the pictures on the screen are getting me.
If. Do I get a discount if you throw the N bomb at me? I'll take it. I. Oh, they got turtle bonds. I wonder if I could talk my. If I talked about. They're only 1100 calories. Oh, man. If I had my black friends in the car be like, you guys want to Cinnabon? It's like, yeah, I know where I get them free, but I need you to come with me.
Why, man? What's going on? Just follow me, and I'm gonna throw a thumb at you. And he wants one, too. What do you think of that? I'm not making Cinnabons for any. Yeah, these are free. We fought five of them and we're taping it. Is he taping me? He sure is. We knew you'd do this. We went five free Cinnabons. We'll leave you alone. I guarantee you. If that was a gar. I. I wonder. I'm white, so I don't know. I wonder if being called that for free meals at places you love would be worth it. Because remember when Chick Fil a hated gays, but the lines were around the block, like, even gays are like, it's so good. I'll deal. I think if you. One racial slur per drive through. And it's not like, threatening. It's just the word. But you get free food for it. I. I think I'd take advantage of that.
But again, I'm speaking from the. I've never had anybody, and it doesn't bother me if you call me a cracker. I think it's hilarious. So I don't care about racial source. To me, Swedes we don't like. What am I, a meatball? Ha ha. Who cares? Even me, being not Jewish, getting all the Jewish jokes. And I found out my dad this weekend when he was in the Air Force because he hung out with a bunch of Jews, they just gave him Jewish dog tags. My dad's dog tags are Jewish. Because they just say, you're hanging out with that Cohen kid. You must be one of them. And they tossed him his dog tags, and they were Jewish. His faith said Jewish. He's like Holmberg. They just assumed it. Like, you didn't say anything. He's. No, he said it got me into, like, the accounting. Literally got him into, like, doing work that wasn't Vietnam work. It was. He was just in some sort of weird. Well, you're good with numbers, right? Yeah. Yeah. Get him over there. He can count. It was doing inventory for things and company clerk. Yeah. End up in Alaska fishing with a couple of guys. Like, how did this happen? He goes, I don't know. We got out, though. I like it. It's better than Vietnam. Shalom. So I didn't know that. And my dad pretended to be Jewish, too. Get you out of a lot of stuff. Like father, like son.
They say things that are horrible.
Hey, it's John Holmberg from the morning sickness. When my beloved dog Dutchy started to slow down, I knew in my heart the time was going to come. That's when I reached out to Happy Endings in Home pet euthanasia. Once Dr. Fixler got to my house, he explained every step, answered all the questions, and created a peaceful, loving atmosphere right there. We were able to hold Dutchy on her favorite blanket. Happy Endings made it as peaceful and dignified as the moment could be. If your furry companion is getting close to that time, whether it's a dog or a cat, and you want the comfort of home, the compassion of professionals, and the dignity your pet deserves. Call Happy Endings. Visit online Happy Endings euthanasia.com because every pet's life should have a happy ending. All right, HMS Podcast time again. I'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. East side Tempe Improv in the Heart of ASU has Ryan Hamilton and Alice Wetterland performing downtown at Seattle. Stand Up Live. Luis Alvarez and Dimitri Martin entertain you. And up north, the Desert Ridge Improv has sets from both Jason Salmon and Rachel Feinstein for the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and 10 pimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
And then I didn't know about this, but, you know, the movie award season's kind of coming up and they're doing all the nominations, all the things. And then I saw. I didn't. Did you guys know Richard Gere is banned from the oscars? Oscars for 20 years. Did you know why he made a speech about Tibet? Because he's buddies with the Dalai Lama. Yeah, Will Smith took a swing at a dude, got banned for 10 years. Richard Gere went up and said some stuff about the Tibetan monks and, like, peace and Tibet and. How many years ago was that, though? In 93 it's been. But he was banned for 20 years and what he said really wasn't that. No, I watched it last night, maybe went on for. Oh, but I mean, if that's going to get you banned, they're all out compared to what has happened in the past. I mean, after 93. Oh, it became all political for years. So he's like the Pete Rose of the Oscar. Yeah, he was. Yeah, he was the first one that kind of. Then they legalized gambling. So he just. He was the one who had a political speech like, boo, just say thank you for the movie you're in and say you love Julia Roberts and then get off the stage. And he did. And he gave a political speech. And they used to. Now that's all it is. He has to watch the Oscars and just shove Gerbil in. And just to keep him happy, like, that's got to be. I said 10 times less than what Leo's doing. And DiCaprio's never won an award and talked about the movie he was in. It's always about the earth.
And I also, I'm no longer. By the way, I'm gonna start littering like crazy. I'm no longer at all interested in cleaning the earth. I'm done. Saturday, I watched a video about how India handles their trash. They don't have landfills there. You know what they do? You know what you do with your garbage? They don't even have like a pickup. You take the bag, the Hefty bag, to an overpass and pour it in the river.
The whole city. And I'm like, this must be a small town, city of two and a half million. They're. They're majority of them. They've. We built canals for water. They built it to flow water back into the oceans of their trash. And I'm like, there's 330 million Americans. If all of us were on the same page with the environmental stuff, we wouldn't make a dent in what India and China are doing over there. Tossing all their stuff in rivers. And the river was just a slew. It was a stew of yuck. Well, I'm done till they step up, I'm out. They've changed it up a little bit because now they're bringing in barges to haul it out. But Venice. Oh, yeah, well, Venice doesn't have anywhere to go. And they didn't. They had the decency not to just pour it in the water. They're like, what do we do with this? And, like, maybe a boat will come by every once and we can throw it in there. Then they'll dump it deeper into the ocean where you don't see it. But you can't do it in the city. It would be like if they built Tempe Town Lake just for the garbage of Tempe. And you could go down there with a Tempe residence card and pour it in the water. And then they release a dam after a big storm and sweep it and then dam it back up when it's full. All right, let's do it again. So until they build the towns, you know, in Ireland, and they'd build them on a hill. Oh, yeah. So it all run down. Piss runs downhill. Is not just a coincidence. That was the thing. And I started. And the reason I thought of this is because I watched that video. And then I was driving my car, and every stoplight, my car dies because of that stupid. Seize that stupid. Stop the motor. After 2018, they cut the engine off. If you stop, I know there's a button for it. So it's meaningless. If I was a president, the first thing I do is go, all right, all car manufacturers, stop that thing. A. It's not doing anything. And have you seen India? Like, let's not pretend that's making a dent in anything. Knock it off. Well, once I get Ironized Patel to start filming commercials, they'll be. They'll be fine. I'm not doing it. I am going to litter like nobody's business. Starting today, if I have it in the car, it's going out the window on the freeway. Just watch out behind you. Ridiculous. And. And that'll open some eyes. I'm going to take my garbage over to the canal by my house. Just pour it in and go, oh, we're not supposed to do this. No, Tell India. Because if I've got to have my car Die at every stoplight until I figure out the button. And now they've made it easy on the. On the Bronco. It's just a button right there. We all hate it here. We made it so you don't even have to. Why? That's a requirement. But it's a. They required it. And then the car companies are like, but we gave you an immediate bypass. Like. Like it's a literal button on your display. Now cars around 2018, they kind of hit it because they have a 2018. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. The Maserati has that flipping around. Like, I don't even know where this is. It's the dumbest feature in car history.
It's the stupidest thing ever. It's almost like they're saying, well, we can't have the, you know, can't the mufflers that puke out all that stuff. But here's a button that makes them puke. It's like, well, then you weren't serious about this.
Yeah, and until they fix that, I'm littering. All car companies must cut off. I want Trump to get on that one. You want to talk about wokeism? Get rid of that stupid feature.
330 million Americans all doing the exact right thing for the environment aren't going to do anything as long as India is still a thing. Think about all the countries that are making the real mess. And we're sitting here choking our engines out at 52nd to McDowell just because we don't want to puke up too much. An idling engine puts more filth into there. Stop it. Save gas on your 500 horsepower machine. Right. Because the second I touch the skinny pedal, all that goes to waste. A 500 horsepower car that they think when the stoplight. Well, we probably shouldn't have it running at stoplights. What? Sport mode immediately. Sport mode. Puke out filth into the air twice as much. It's ridiculous.
So Richard Gere might be right and I might be right. I get banned from the Oscars for that speech. But get rid of that little weird A, the capital A with this half a circle around it. It's unnecessary. This is what I want to write politicians about, because they'll actually get that done.
I think even like Greta Thunberg hates when her car stops at a lot because you're always, oh, Jesus, my car. Oh, that's that stupid thing. It used to be that when your car died out of light, you were screwed. Now it dies so much you don't even know if it's bad or not. That used to be a pretty good warning signal that happens on her scooter. Yeah. She turns off her pedal scooter. Yeah. But I mean, if your car dies now, you just think it's that thing. It might not be. Now you're driving around a death trap that dies every once in a while. It's amazing how quick it starts it up. But all you're thinking about, oh, man, that's another item to fix. Yep. Very soon. It's got to be hard on the engine. It can't be good for it. Brett, you're a car guy. Can't be good for it. Turn off and turn on your car like that. No. And then you're going through starters and everything else exactly.
That needs to go. And until it does, you're just going to see Waterloo cans flying out of a Jeep all over the city. I'm littering. I'm littering until that goes away.
And I mean all of it. All of it. Not in my neighborhood. Taking a stand. I'm taking a stand and I'm littering. I'm going to go full India until they make the announcement that no cars starting today will have that stupid feature. It's dumb. And I don't care how hippie granola you are, you hate it, too. No one likes their car stopping for. Especially in Phoenix in the summertime. You don't even know it turns off and all of a sudden you're getting hot air. My air conditioner's broken. Oh, no. My dickhead engine just turned off and now it's 104 in the car and I gotta sweat it out and take my foot off the gas a little and start it again. And let's hope it doesn't do that twice, silly. Now, Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats? All right. Wake Up Song brought to you by, of course, Action Ride Shop. And like I said, if you haven't decided what to do for Christmas yet, well, Action Ride shop is running 20% off all in stock beach cruisers right now. And they got a ton of them at both locations right there on the. Well, the OG right there on Gilbert Road and Southern, of course, the brand new one right there at power Road and McDowell. And you can also start getting ready for winter time. Skiing boarding season is upon us, so make sure you head on over there and get all the gear you're gonna need. ActionRide Shop.com. evidently, Trump has introduced that to an environmental law. Break it down. No longer incentivize automakers to include this feature. So what you're going to find out about the car manufacturers, whether or not they really care about the environment. Because if they're not, because they're currently getting incentives to put that package in your car, you take the incentives away. Will they still keep doing it?
There's no way. No, no way. So basically. Well, because they'd be like, we love the environment so much is such a great feature. No way. They've heard us talking. Well, that's good. But the day it becomes official and passes through the House and Senate or whatever, I don't know how it's going to work. Maybe an executive order. I'm littering.
What do you got? All right. On the list, seven Dust, Judas Priest. Some heads are going to roll for that. That broad earlier today. AC dc, Megadeth, Limp Biscuit, Ugly Kid Joe, God, Smack, Helmet, and House of Pain. And. Well, in 2004, Dimebag Daryl got gunned down. That's so. Yeah. So we got Pantera's domination, the art of shredding from Pantera and Save Me from Damage also. Was it 45 years ago, John Lennon today. Yeah. Was December 8th as well. That's 45 years. How about that? Crazy. I believe it was also on a Monday. So it's full. You know, actually full back. Wow. All right, we'll go a little Pantera the artist. Shredding's pretty solid. All right. And that's for Dimebag. How long ago? 2004. 21 years ago. Good Christ. Noh. I see it. Yeah. In Columbus, right there at Brady's Old Haunts. El Rosa villa. Yeah, right. 21 years ago. Every year I say it. I was driving to work And I heard KTIR's Ned Foster, who sang all the news but didn't realize he was singing.
In Columbus, Ohio, last night, a man opened fire on a rock band singer called Pantera. Like, what the hell? That's what I heard on my way into work. Did they send Jim Cross out there for it, too? I mean, like, he's. He's everywhere. Hey, Ned. I'm outside the Villa Rosa and it's cold in Columbus in December. And I don't know what a Pantera is, but there's one less of them. Back to you go yourself.
Yeah, it was 21 years.
Holy smokes. I never would have guessed. Well, there you go. It's the art of shredding. It's Pantera. Hasn't been anybody like him since. No time was the man.
And I personally, yesterday was watching. Speaking of great guitarists, The Rams game for a little bit with the Cardinals. Puka Nakua is Eddie Van Halen. Oh, yeah. No. Well, now. And a little bit of Jason Momoa yesterday. Oh, he's got no Momoa body. He's Eddie Van Halen's face. If you look at him, that's Eddie Van Halen. It's ridiculous. And he's got Eddie's hair, too. The whole thing. I'm like, when he took his helmet off, I'm like, is he a Van Halen that we don't know about? I would look into whoever Puka's mom is. I think Eddie is the dad. I want a DNA test. That's the same face as is Lamar Jackson to Sandra Bernhardt. I believe that's his real mother. Not there. That one on the right, though. This one? Yeah. When he's smiling and when you take that helmet off.
He goes full Eddie Van Halen when he's smiling on the sidelines yesterday, I was like, whoa.
I'm convinced he's got some Van Halen in him. Let's do it for Dimebag. It's 21 years. My goodness. That's hard to believe. It's the artist shredding. It's 98. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I've heard enough of this.
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. And, Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service? No, Larry, if you have an extended service contract, you can use it at any amco. Well, it's nice to have other options. I'll say Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles, and faster service. Amco does more than just transmissions, right? Right. If you need car repairs or hear, feel, see, smell, or even think you have a car issue, call Amco first. Just Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness, and I'm sitting with shane orlando from orlandoautobody.com. you see somebody with a dinged up car and you kind of feel like, why don't you get that fix? Do you find is the reason most people don't come to you and get their car fixed when it needs to be fixed? When finances tighten up like they are lately for a lot of people. So what we offer now is 100 day, same as cash on your deductible. We can finance that for you, to help you out. So we're happy to help those people. Yeah. You got systems in place? Absolutely. We've been through this a few times in the last 38 years. You want to go to a place where everybody knows what they're up to. That's OrlandoAutoBody.com.
Episode Theme:
A blend of darkly comic news, social commentary, and personal anecdotes anchored around medical mishaps, viral racism at Cinnabon, and a rant against modern conservation efforts. John Holmberg and his crew tackle odd and unsettling headlines with irreverence, discuss implications for transplant recipients, examine an incident of open racism in Wisconsin, and vent frustration about environmental policies in the shadow of global pollution.
[04:02 – 17:35]
Background: John brings up a recent news story he found while researching kidney health due to Brady's kidney issues.
Story Details:
Morbid Humor and Organ Donation:
Transplant Realities:
Brady’s Childhood With Wild Animals:
[19:18 – 37:12]
Incident Overview:
Lingering Questions:
Comedy Through Absurdity:
Riffing on Racism in Service:
The Power of Cinnabon:
[42:08 – 47:54]
Turn Against Environmentalism:
Philosophical Turn:
Mock Solutions and Political Rants:
Throughout Episode
Miles to Nowhere Theme Song:
Odd Celebrity News:
Memorable Analogies and Recurring Bits:
On Kidney Transplants:
On the Cinnabon Incident:
On Conservation Futility: