Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 12-12-25

Episode: Realizing That w/His New Sports Thing Podcast John Hangs Out w/Idiots As Dale Thinks He Might've Time Traveled - Holmberg Blames The Media For Wanting To Do Fruity Cocaine After Atty General Warns Against It
Date: December 12, 2025
Host: John Holmberg, with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" delivers a chaotic, humorous dive through the limits of logic and the absurdities of modern life. John Holmberg recounts jaw-dropping moments from his new sports podcast—discovering that his co-hosts sincerely believe in personal time travel. The show then shifts to critique the media’s reporting on fruit-flavored cocaine and how making it headline news inadvertently makes it sound appealing, even to the guys on air. Throughout, the tone is irreverent, sarcastic, self-deprecating, and packed with inside jokes.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Sports Podcast & Hanging Out with "Idiots"

• John’s New Podcast: John is excited about his growing sports podcast, "The Sports Thing," plugging it for both sports fans and those who just enjoy total nonsense (03:14).
• Epiphany of Idiocy: Around the 43-minute mark of the recent episode, John realizes he surrounds himself with utter “idiots”—particularly Dave Nash (a sincere conspiracy theorist) and Dale, who claims to have time-traveled (04:12–08:06).
• Conspiracy Theories Galore: Dave Nash, a recurring guest, holds court on topics including COVID (which he calls "the death jab") and 9/11. John acknowledges there are strange patterns statistically with vaccines, but mocks the hypocrisy of people who claim their bodies are temples while drinking, taking Ozempic, or ingesting other chemicals (04:30–05:48).

2. Dale’s Time Travel Tale (and the Podcast’s Funniest Disaster)

• Dale’s “Live TV” Time Loop: Dale claims that after playing in an all-star game in Japan, he flew directly to Phoenix, landed, and saw the game “still playing live” on TV. Holmberg hilariously tries to explain tape delay, but Dale (and Dave) insist time travel is the only logical explanation (07:14–09:36).
• John’s Despair: John describes this as a “room of pod people” and his increasing exasperation is felt by the whole crew (11:22; 16:46).
  • Notable Quote – John Holmberg (09:36): “I've got to get away from these people.”
• The ‘Algorithm Effect’: After this conversation, John’s social media feed becomes flooded with bizarre stories—like a man who claims to have teleported into a stolen car, and a “Swedish musician teaching an octopus to play piano” (10:11–11:00).

3. Reflecting on Group Dynamics & Past Idiocies

• Recommending the Podcast: The other show hosts encourage listeners to fast-forward to the 43-minute mark to witness the meltdown for themselves (11:00–11:33).
• “John Talks to Retards”: John jokes about retitling his show, lamenting how he can’t continue in this environment, especially since the supposed “time traveler” is terrible at sports gambling (17:14).
• Other Dale-isms: The show reminisces about other classic Dale misunderstandings—like not knowing pickles are made from cucumbers (18:21).

4. Fruit-Flavored Cocaine & Media Irony

• Attorney General’s “Warning”: The Arizona Attorney General warns about the dangers of fruit-flavored cocaine, which becomes a running joke about how news coverage lures people in (21:32–22:17).
  • Notable Quote – John Holmberg (21:48): "Now suddenly, oh, it tastes like Fruity Pebbles. Even I was like, wonder what that's like. I don't want to do cocaine. But I started thinking, is that good? Is that a good flavor?"
• The ‘Dewey Cox’ Paradox: The guys joke that news coverage now makes narcotics sound like “delicious treats,” likening it to Fun Dip and Smarties powder (22:42–23:06).
• Listener Responses: Listeners bombard the show with stories of “blueberry snow” and other flavored coke experiences, confirming how widespread flavored narcotics actually are (35:25–35:27).
• The Slippery Slope: The hosts riff on the idea that soon, every snack will be a cocaine flavor—ranch, steak, Cheez-Its. This riff continues with references to weed edibles, Gatorade flavors, and more (24:22–26:59).
  • Notable Quote – John Holmberg (25:32): “They're gonna start looking at you and then they'll start selling it as, oh, you know, you'll knock off a bunch of weight like Ozempic. Except for now, at least it's a delicious fruity treat.”

5. Back to School – Eighth-Grade Memories and Song Parodies

• John tells an elaborate story about thinking he could impress girls in 8th grade by performing “White Lines” (the cocaine song), passing through cringe, laughter, and the low-key theme of how pop culture and taboo blend (28:15–30:47).

6. Cyclical Satire – Drugs, Dumb Ideas, and Even Dumber News

• The show closes by weaving together all threads: government overstatement, public stupidity, and the risk that maybe, just maybe, the wackiest conspiracies are true (23:55; 38:16).

Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Dale’s ‘Time Travel’:

  • “You honestly think—you turned back and looked at the TV and saw yourself playing live because of a flight back? ...There was no explaining them out of it. And I thought to myself, I've got to get away from these people.”
    — John Holmberg (08:12–09:36)

• On the Quality of Podcast Guests:

  • “It’s eventually going to be called ‘John Talks to retards’ because this can't continue. And how come he's so bad at FanDuel if he's capable of traveling through time?”
    — John Holmberg (17:14–18:01)

• On Fruit-Flavored Cocaine and the News:

  • “Now suddenly, oh, it tastes like Fruity Pebbles. Even I was like, wonder what that's like. I don't want to do cocaine. But I started thinking, is that good? Is that a good flavor?”
    — John Holmberg (21:48)
  • “You are a commercial. A walking...You know who else found out about it through you? The women you're talking about. Because that's who watches local news the most. And then their kids are going to find out about it because it's all over every algorithm ever.”
    — John Holmberg (23:47)

• Listener Email (on Flavored Coke):

  • “Manuel says: I know a guy that knows a guy, had some blueberry snow once. Let me tell you, white girls love blueberry snow. I don't even know what that means. Leave me alone, druggies.”
    — Read by John (35:25)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:12] – John’s realization about podcast guests’ lack of sense.
• [04:30] – Introduction to Dave’s conspiracy rabbit holes.
• [07:14–08:12] – Dale explains his “time travel” experience coming from Japan.
• [09:36] – John hits his limit: “I’ve got to get away from these people.”
• [11:00–11:33] – Recommendation to jump to 43 minutes into the podcast episode for peak idiocy.
• [17:14] – “John Talks to retards” joking debate.
• [21:32–25:32] – Fruit-flavored cocaine coverage and critique of media.
• [28:15–30:47] – 8th grade 'White Lines' memories and awkward adolescence.
• [35:25–35:27] – Listener chiming in about flavored cocaine.

In the Original Tone: No Punches Pulled

The show is classic HMS: relentless roasting, unfiltered language, and a blend of sports, pop culture, and social commentary. Nobody is safe from mockery—least of all the hosts or their friends.

• Burt Vesely deadpans in reference to Dale: “How many times that guy get hit?” (14:12)
• Blunt but affectionate sarcasm: “He thinks that if he goes back to New York, he can make bets on games that he saw earlier today because it hasn't aired there yet because he's back in time.” (14:22)
• On the Attorney General: “Thanks a lot, Attorney General Mays. Nice job.” (36:06)

Takeaways

• Humorous Critique: The episode lampoons both conspiracy-minded friends and self-defeating government messaging.
• Relentless Satire: The hosts use the bizarre to skewer their circle and the world at large, blurring lines between genuine exasperation and comic genius.
• Media Influence: The group nails how news can inadvertently glamorize the very dangers it hopes to warn about.

In short, this episode is a raucous mix of skeptical logic, playful mockery, and commentary on the absurdity of modern life—perfect for those who like their morning shows peppered with both sports and snark.