12-29-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98 KUPD)

Episode: Dec 29, 2025 – Full Show [Monday]
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Byron, and guest Sacha Baron Cohen

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Overview

This electric episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness delivers the show’s signature blend of irreverent humor, local color, and boundary-pushing banter, taking listeners through everything from awkward sexual health discussions to wild family stories and media interviews. Alongside playful roasts between regulars, the highlight is a freewheeling, revealing call with Sacha Baron Cohen. The group also dives deep into odd news stories, medical “fun facts,” and the quirks of both man and animal—never missing a beat for jokes, personal anecdotes, or the occasional unexpected philosophical point.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

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1. Opening Banter & Peyronie’s Disease

TIMESTAMP: [01:43]–[19:57]

• Broadcast begins post-advertising, jumping straight into the recounting of an NBA game experience and a commercial about Peyronie’s disease—a condition involving curvature of the penis.
• John Holmberg’s Storytime:
  • Shares an incident involving injury and “bending” (graphic, humorous recounting), wondering if he’d experienced Peyronie’s disease.
  • Byron reads medical info: over 700 men treated locally per year, cause uncertain, symptoms include pain, lumps, deformity.
• Panel banter:
  • Jokes regarding penis shapes seen in porn (“Looks like Gonzo’s nose” - [05:32], John).
  • Queries about causes, possible “cures,” gross-out visualizations.
• Listener emails:
  • Listeners chime in—some self-disclosing their own “curve down” variation, one noting chicks are now more interested in his “crooked wiener” post-injections ([18:08]).
  • “Girls want to see and feel my crooked wiener. I swear to God… Sign, Kyle.” — Read by John ([18:08])
• Memorable quote:
  • “If I get under six inches, that’s the end of it. Six is my limit for all of it.” – John ([07:59])
  • “If that were true, my dick would be a balloon animal.” – John ([09:15])
• Discussion on male reluctance to seek medical help.
• Comic reluctance: John resolves “I’m just gonna have a crooked dick that hurts a little bit. I’m not getting shots in my wiener.” – [16:06]

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2. Religion, Family & Influence

TIMESTAMP: [21:29]–[36:04]

• Mini-drama erupts about religious influence in the Bogan/Wolf family, involving nephew Charlie being darkly labeled a “zealot of hate” for his anti-Catholic views.
• Byron teases John about being the corrupting force; John pushes back, asserting Charlie’s independence.
  • “You should be insulted... you had a mush brain that I molded and turned you into the devil.” – John ([28:46])
  • “You called him a zealot of hate, and pointed at me!” - John ([29:11])
• Discussion shifts to “Pope Francis & Gays” — dissecting recent Church statements, media spin, and changes in doctrine.
• Conclude with:
  • “Religion isn’t hate, it’s opinion.” – Dick Toledo ([35:34])

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3. Prom Canceled Over Lesbian Couple: Mississippi Story

TIMESTAMP: [36:04]–[46:37]

• News: School cancels prom after a girl asks to bring her girlfriend as a date.
• Sharp, satirical comments on Mississippi’s history of segregation—now shifting controversy from race to sexuality.
• “I think it’s just kind of… there should be a law passed that you cannot declare lesbos until you’re 21.” – Byron ([39:01])
• Reflections on awkwardness of prom traditions, prom dates as covers, and hypocrisy surrounding “poop wiener” phobias vs. lesbian relationships.

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4. Ridicule of Past Purchases: The Subaru Outback Chronicles

TIMESTAMP: [48:23]–[59:52]

• Brady’s infamous hunter-green Subaru Outback becomes the butt of an extended segment of ribbing; group riffs about gendered car stereotypes, sales tactics, and regretful buys.
• “Showed up in an Outback with emerald green and gold package. That was awful.” – John ([50:05])
• “He’s more lesbian than a lesbian. Give me one of those air fresheners that makes that fish smell good…” – John ([55:24])
• Segment underscores the show’s knack for turning personal embarrassment into communal entertainment.

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5. Radio Skits & Parody: "My Name Is..." Fat Jesus Edition

TIMESTAMP: [61:00]–[64:31]

• Brady delivers a parody Eminem rap about food, weight, and station personalities, keeping the self-deprecating, absurd energy high.
• “Hi, my name is… Chicky chicky Jesus.” – Brady ([61:08])
• John quips: “That’s brilliant though. Well done.” – ([64:31])

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6. Fun Facts with Brady / Animal Speed Debate

TIMESTAMP: [66:48]–[81:32]

• Brady’s “Baseless Fun Facts” run through bizarre tidbits: giant clams, cat doors, Michael Phelps vs. manatees.
• Good-natured mockery ensues when Byron and Brady debate whether Michael Phelps could out-swim a manatee.
• “If the goldfish knew it was in a race, it’d still smoke Michael Phelps.” – John ([78:48])
• “Giant, lumbering, dust him.” – Byron, regarding manatee speed ([78:12])

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7. Sacha Baron Cohen Interview

TIMESTAMP: [109:23]–[122:40]

• Highlight segment: Sacha Baron Cohen joins from Cannes, talking Dictator, Borat, behind-the-scenes reveals, pranking Eminem, and more. (Notable: This original interview appears to be rebroadcast content.)
• Key takeaways & quotes:
  • On Throw the Jew Down the Well: “Yes, I remember that. I was in Borat…”
  • On pranking Eminem:
    “I called him up and said, ‘Hi, can I stick my balls and ass in your face?’… He said, ‘Will you be wearing a G-string?’ and I said ‘Yes’. He goes, ‘I’ll do it.’” ([115:05])
  • On Isla Fisher: “We’ve been together ten years… try to keep the work out of the house.” ([119:16])
  • On method acting/Borat: “I’d be stinking and walking around with the moustache… it was not easy.” ([121:26])
• Memorable Moment:
  • “Chickens actually respond very well to dictatorships…the whole pecking order.” - Sacha ([120:12])

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8. "What Would Brady Do?" Letters

TIMESTAMP: [124:27]–[130:22]

• Letter 1: Listener’s girlfriend uses baby talk during sex, hates it.
  • Panel jokes, offers strategies (mimicking back, therapist, recording), but consensus is: some things aren’t fixable, move on if it’s too much.
  • “Do it back to her… if she’s aware of how weird it is, maybe she’ll stop.” – John ([127:47])
• Letter 2: Listener not sure if he's the father of a co-worker's baby after a short fling (and Plan B).
  • Response: “Dodge this for as long as you can” – Byron ([134:10]),
    but John says, “Ask if there’s anything you need to worry about; save her answer.”
• Discussion veers into family tree scandals (secret ‘love child’ stories), gay-until-proven-otherwise uncles, and the generational shifts in identity.

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9. Classic Segues: From Hardcore Riffs to Bizarre Pitches

TIMESTAMP: [143:01]–[152:09]

• “Are you trying to put your dick in my milk?” – A phrase born out of the group’s effort to weave the weirdest possible quotes into everyday conversation.
• Tech-phobia gets roasted as Brady complains about subscription services.
• Briefed TV pitches: “Gay Hell’s Kitchen” (a terrible idea, ripped apart in real time).
  • “It’s the same show, you’re just adding ‘gay’ to it.” – John ([152:01])

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10. Odds & Ends, Entertainment Drill, and Signature Closers

TIMESTAMP: [155:43]–[End]

• Pop music update: BJ Thomas, “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head,” has stage 4 cancer ([155:43]).
• Group debates “Growing Pains” theme song trivia, Tracy Gold’s 1980s eating disorder, and other retro oddities.
• Fun, winding down, riffing finishes the broadcast with callbacks and inside jokes.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On men’s health reluctance:
  “If that were true, my dick would be a balloon animal.” – John ([09:15])
• On generational religious trauma:
  “You had a mush brain that I molded and turned you into the devil.” – John ([28:46])
• Sacha Baron Cohen:
  On Eminem’s participation:
  “Can I stick my balls and ass in your face?” “Will you be wearing a G-string?” “Yes.” “I’ll do it.” ([115:05])
• Riff on bad car choices:
  “He’s more lesbian than a lesbian. Give me one of those air fresheners that makes that fish smell good going.” – John ([55:24])
• Panel signature roast:
  “Are you trying to put your dick in my milk?” – Dick Toledo reading listener text ([143:01])

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Episode Tone and Style

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is notorious for brash irreverence, blending frank discussion and biting sarcasm with sudden left-turns into the absurd. This episode is no exception: the chemistry between regulars allows for rapid-fire joke exchanges, personal storytelling, and satirical hot takes on everything from sexual health to American protest culture. The occasional moment of sincere advice (medical, personal, or familial) is always quickly offset by a gag or roast. The Sacha Baron Cohen segment, with his dry British wit, fits seamlessly with the show’s anything-goes style.

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Timestamps of Essential Segments

• [01:43–19:57] Peyronie’s Disease Banter & Emails
• [21:29–36:04] Family, Religion, and Influence Drama
• [36:04–46:37] Prom Canceled over Lesbian Couple (Mississippi Story)
• [48:23–59:52] Mocking Brady’s Subaru Outback
• [61:00–64:31] “My Name Is” Brady Parody Rap
• [66:48–81:32] Animal “Fun Facts” & Manatee vs. Phelps Debate
• [109:23–122:40] Interview: Sacha Baron Cohen
• [124:27–130:22] “What Would Brady Do?” Letters
• [143:01–152:09] Tech Roasts and "Gay Hell’s Kitchen"

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For the Uninitiated: Why Listen?

If you’re new to Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, this episode offers a representative sampler: wincingly honest and often hilarious discussions about taboos, real-life “WTF” stories, deep Arizona in-jokes, and a celebrity interview that’s far less polished and far more entertaining than most. The dynamic between the hosts is the real draw—equal parts roast, therapy session, and absurdist improv.

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Episode Highlight

The Sacha Baron Cohen interview: Candid, meta, and full of behind-the-scenes details (like Eminem’s response to being pranked), this portion is both a treat for comedy fans and a showcase for the show’s unique approach to celebrity conversations.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Dick Toledo]

Serving up the cheer.

[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

Or when full alertness is needed.

[John Holmberg]

The best of Homburg's morning sickness. This is the big Red radio. We were watching that thing down in the club level at halftime of the Suns game. Watched overtime. It's pretty fun to watch. And then they win it all. And I happened to notice also that during that game now there was a commercial for Peyronie's disease. And I didn't hear it, but I saw and it was. It ran twice. And like when I was down there right before the overtime started. Peyronie's disease, evidently a big concern right before bedtime. That was good placement of their ad because on the east coast It was like 11:30, 10:30, I guess with the time change. 10:30, 11:00'. Clock. When that, when that thing was running and it ran two times. And I noticed because I couldn't hear it. It says in the bottom. And a guy just emailed me about it and like, I'm on this already. Bentcarrot.com is the website you go to to check out your Peyronie's disease. And then I didn't. I don't know about Peyronie's disease. Is it.

[Byron]

It's gotta be a major bend.

[John Holmberg]

It's a big bend. But do you catch it? How is it a thing that happens to you?

[Byron]

Can you shape it?

[John Holmberg]

Do you do it to yourself? Is it like a. Is it like a mold that you just keep it in that shape for a while?

[Byron]

Do you?

[John Holmberg]

I've broken mine before. I had a. A young lady named Heidi back in the Tony Roma's days, get a little overzealous and try to bounce on something that wasn't going in there. And it. And it hit the corner, the corner side didn't go in the pocket. It was like a pool ball. It rattled and then it went out and it hit her leg and it made a noise and every.

[Brett Vesely]

That hurts just hearing that story.

[John Holmberg]

It hurts. And I. I think she broke it. I'm not going to the doctor for that. And it turned to the right and then had this big, like bubble on the side where the bend was. That was big bruise. It was purple. Oh, it was rough, Brad. And for three or four days I tried to bend it, battling my foot. When my foot popped, I tried to pop it back in place. Your wiener doesn't play that game. And then it got soft and just turned kind of eggplant colored. It was dark, but it was purple dark. It was bad. And then it healed on its own. I didn't see a doctor for, but I thought maybe that's Peyronie's disease.

[Byron]

Sisabeo clinic here sees more than 700 men a year for Peyronie's.

[John Holmberg]

But it just happens to you. So you can wake up and go, great, I got Peyronie's. Or is it something that lives inside you, like shingles and just shows up? Is there a vaccine I can take for this? Does it hurt? I'm starting to get worried about it because they're starting to show A lot more ads of people with sideways wieners, and nobody seems too concerned. And I've got a lot of friends. None of us have. None of. You've never had it, right?

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

And it's curable because bentcarrot.com doesn't sound too serious. Like, it's not like the medical profession. They're still sort of making fun of your bent dick. But if I want to hear from somebody who's had it, what is it? And when do you go to the doctor for must hurt?

[Byron]

I think that's what happens. It starts to bend more than normal.

[John Holmberg]

But it bends to the side. It makes a right. It's like a boomerang. It doesn't do the curve up. Or in certain cases, as we've all seen in porn, that weird curve down one. Yeah. Anybody here from one of those? You know a curve down?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, you don't have a curve down?

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know where those guys come from either. If I had one, I go into porn because that's a unique penis. They're very strange. It looks like Gonzo's nose, not Luis Gonzalez.

[Byron]

But isn't it. Isn't there, like, a ligament that keeps it from doing that?

[John Holmberg]

Curving. Curving down? Yeah. I don't know.

[Byron]

Not curving down, but just dropping down.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about? Your direction.

[Byron]

Erection goes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Upwards. But there's a ligament, the one that you're talking about, just like a straight down.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no, Brady. You don't watch enough porn. It goes out and then the end of it. Like Gonzo's nose from the Muppets.

[Byron]

Oh, gosh.

[John Holmberg]

Where. Where a normal man's wiener does this, Brady. Curves up. These do this. And it doesn't point down. It goes. Oh, it looks like it's on upside down. Am I right, Brett? Am I explaining this well? Like, pretty good. You know when you're screwing on a P trap or a pipe and plumbing, and you don't have it all the way, and you got to get. You got to get it just right.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes you screw it on, and it's like, oh, it's tight, and it's pointing the wrong way. That's what that one is. But I don't know. I don't know how you catch Peyronie's disease. I don't know what it is.

[Byron]

It's relatively common condition.

[John Holmberg]

You're just learning it off the Internet now. You're.

[Byron]

Well, I know what it is, but, like, I just basically did a simple question.

[John Holmberg]

Can.

[Byron]

Can you Catch Peroni's disease.

[John Holmberg]

Is it in the air? So is it Covid? What is it? Google, Brett, you'll better at this. Google. How do I get Peyronie's disease? That's all right. Is that what you put in?

[Byron]

That's what I put in, but.

[John Holmberg]

And you got no answers. You're better.

[Byron]

Well, the first one I went to.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know it's. You're not my research coordinator. You're not the guy I'm turning to. That dead stare into your phone screen is eventually going to turn into a recipe for macaroni.

[Byron]

Reverse severe symptoms.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we're still not giving me any answers.

[Byron]

All right, how do you get including penile curvature?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I get that. I know that you're just saying words. Find me answers, man.

[Byron]

The Mayo Clinic has a team that will reach you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's great.

[Brett Vesely]

How do I catch Says the disease is. The exact cause is unknown.

[John Holmberg]

It just happens. You just wake up with it. Well, this is horrifying. The cause of the disease is unknown, but when you have it, you know. Yeah. What are the symptoms outside of the curved wiener? Is pain one of them? Oh, I got to live with it.

[Byron]

Yeah, that's what it does.

[John Holmberg]

Hurt. Wiener just curves. Stays hard all the time. And curved cuz when it's soft, it's not curving. Oh, this is dreadful. So one day you just wake up, everything seems normal, and you look down and it's going to the side.

[Brett Vesely]

There's two stages. Acute Pey disease and chronic Dr. Dre Pey's disease.

[John Holmberg]

So you smoke it, you got the broke dick.

[Brett Vesely]

How common is it? It's estimated about 6 to 10% of people between the ages of 40 and. But it's less common at other ages.

[John Holmberg]

Oliver O' Neill has emailed in and said, dude, I've got the curve down erection. I should consider porn. Congratulations, Oliver. That's a very rare thing. It's unique and it's. You got a lot of explaining to do when the ladies are like, okay, yours is on wrong. It's like, no, it's not.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's your symptoms.

[John Holmberg]

So the symptoms are a loss of length in your penis?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't even notice that. If I see that, I'm just gonna hang myself. I can't. I can't spare an inch. It's like my height. If I get under six feet. If I drop under six inches, that's the end of it. Six is my limit for all of it. Lumps in your penis. Well, I'm going to definitely notice Painful erections, softer erections. Having difficulty having sex for you or your partner. And pain while having sex.

[Byron]

Oh, the penis might resemble an hourglass appearance.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it starts bulbing up like a football that's been outside too long. It gets that bubble in the side because you left it and got wet.

[Brett Vesely]

Now here's what it looks like.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez. Photos. Yeah. I didn't know this. I always thought you got. I thought you were born with Peyronie's disease and it just happened every once in a while and you had to get treated. It's not though. It just.

[Brett Vesely]

Scar forms in there.

[John Holmberg]

It just shows up. It's not due to trauma or anything. This is.

[Brett Vesely]

This is the curve can be depending on where the scar tissue forms. If it's on the top, it curves up.

[Byron]

Apparently one in three can have calcium.

[John Holmberg]

But what's scar tissue? Don't you have to do something to have a scarlet? Brady's always gonna take the side of God. It's cause you touch it too much. That's the problem. That were true a million years ago, Brady. Yeah, if that were true, my dick would be a balloon animal.

[Byron]

Yours would be.

[John Holmberg]

It would be a crazy straw. Just be a twisty. It would be like marble. It would look like a water slide. In some cases, calcium. And I could break sidewalk with it. Watch this. What is that? Oh, this thing is Brady's, right? His God punished me with the hardest dick ever.

[Brett Vesely]

In some cases, the scar develops on both the top and bottom of the penis shaft. This dents your penis and makes it shorter.

[John Holmberg]

What is going on with it? And why is it such a cute name to fix it? Ben Carrot dot com. Like when a lady's got the prolapsing vagina, you don't go to funny honeyhole.com. you know, we're not making fun of that. How come Peyronie's disease has a wacky.

[Byron]

Because Peyronie was probably some Greek guy with short Greek guy with a limp.

[John Holmberg]

Well, nobody can. Nobody can get you lumpy little Greek. Yeah, but they can't spell Peyronie's disease. So in order to search it. Ben carrot dot com. Ladies, are you suffering from vaginal tears? Go to wackylabs.com you're not. They're not doing that for women.

[Brett Vesely]

It says these changes may happen as a result of small unrecognized injuries that occur.

[John Holmberg]

Had plenty of those. And I've recognized you're on the.

[Byron]

You're on the fast track. I'm getting it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm Gonna get it. I probably have her. Let me get a hard on real quick and just see Brady jump up and down for a second. We'll watch this bounce somewhere between 40 and 70. Oh, this is terrible. My dad brought it up to me once as a joke, and I'm like, what are you talking about? And he goes, hey, you end up with that Peyronie's disease. I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey. Is that in our system here? Need some blood work. So far, everything's fine.

[Byron]

Definitely genetics. If someone in your family chance that you get it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, who's talking to their dad about that? Boy, I want to say, you know.

[Brett Vesely]

Remember the old commercials, Mom?

[Byron]

No one knows.

[John Holmberg]

Remember those moms douched. Just go to fishbottom.com. hey, I went to Fish Bottom, mom, and I. I'm like 8 out of the 10 things you need to douche. Those commercials were phenomenal. And the women, they talk to each other about that. Moms and daughters. That's a real thing. Oh, yeah. Oh, they. Yeah. Brady, I'm sure Kirby d' Herbs and Ronnie have had a sit down and talk about maintenance of the dudes. Don't talk about them. My dad never sat me down and said, here's how it works, boy. He never once. You'll figure it out. And I think it's because he figured it out. My job to figure it out. It's like kung fu. You're on your own journey with this thing. If it breaks to the side, don't talk to me about it. I don't want to know. Go to a Dr. Clyde says you.

[Brett Vesely]

Get Peyronie's disease from banging too many fat chicks.

[John Holmberg]

There. The Dr. Clyde over here. Wait, what is the. What's the limit? Like, 8, 10, and then your dick quits, apparently. I don't blame it. He starts. He starts trying to run away. He's just facing the wrong direction. Put me in another one of those. It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness. Did anything else in the world happen yesterday?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Byron]

Yesterday? A buddy of mine, after our one topic of talking about Peyronie's disease and.

[John Holmberg]

All that, he said he had it. Ah. Did he give you the breakdown? How did they fix?

[Byron]

Naturally healed.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's what he says.

[Byron]

Well, no, I. You didn't ask to see it when we're reading about. Says sometimes it can do that because.

[John Holmberg]

Dudes just won't go to the doctor for us. Like, it's fine. It doesn't hurt as much as You.

[Byron]

Because I'm like, did you get a pill injection?

[John Holmberg]

You know, it just naturally healed. Scar tissue doesn't naturally heal. It just stops hurting.

[Byron]

Well, according to him, I mean, I.

[John Holmberg]

Just doesn't feel it any.

[Byron]

It's like it just.

[John Holmberg]

And he was younger, I'd say, let me see it. And if it's still crooked, I'm like, nope, you're just tolerating Peyronie's.

[Byron]

It almost got to that.

[Brett Vesely]

I almost think I would too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'd have to. You know what?

[Brett Vesely]

I'll just.

[John Holmberg]

If we're talking about it and. Yeah. Oh, he went.

[Byron]

He went to a doctor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

And the guy says, this can heal. If. If it doesn't in the next couple.

[John Holmberg]

Of weeks or whatever, go to another doctor. I don't want to see your dick anymore.

[Byron]

Then we gotta break down. But he's like, it was calcified.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm with Brett. I think it's. Yeah, I'll tolerate it. Yeah. Unless it really hurts to, like, pee. I'm just doing.

[Brett Vesely]

It's calcified.

[John Holmberg]

It's. I don't know. I'm just going to do the.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll just take the gout medicine.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What do you get? Take some of the cherry juice, whatever.

[Brett Vesely]

It worked for that.

[Byron]

So they'll.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to get a shot. Yeah. It's just too much uric acid, isn't it? That's the thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, something like that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's probably it. I would do that too. I just. Suddenly I'd be on the phone with that witchcraft sister of mine. Go to sprouts. Gets rid of scar issue.

[Brady Bogan]

Where is it?

[John Holmberg]

None of your business. Where.

[Brett Vesely]

What?

[John Holmberg]

It's so good to talk again. Not on my end. I just need. Look, once you solve this, we're not talking again. I always knew you were a dick. Yeah. Yeah. Crooked dick. That's interesting. He had the Peyon's disease. Did he know how he got it?

[Byron]

Yeah. I'm like, was it aggressive sex or something?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was. Girl got a little out of hand. And then years later or just right away.

[Byron]

He also mentioned the thing that you had. Had it popped out. Because sometimes guys get. It popped out, like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what mine were. Yep. But mine popped back. Yeah.

[Byron]

So it naturally.

[John Holmberg]

But didn't naturally. I pushed it back.

[Byron]

You had to take some plays off.

[John Holmberg]

I took a couple of days off and when the swelling went down, I kind of gave it a gah. And it didn't feel good, but it kind of worked its way back Into a normal setting. And then I think it just kind of. But I didn't have peyronie's disease. I just had a sprained wiener. It's just crooked at hockey stick. Yeah.

[Byron]

I'm middle of it right on that commercial.

[John Holmberg]

Heidi.

[Byron]

Is it talking about a pill to.

[John Holmberg]

Take for it, you know, or is.

[Byron]

It just a Peroni's awareness? Like, go to bentcarrot.com, ben.

[John Holmberg]

Carrot.com gives you all the answers to be like, this is you're broken, Because I don't know. I think you just pretty much walk away with it. Yeah. That's interesting. Was he any good at golf, or did he have a slice?

[Byron]

Pretty good. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

See what I did there?

[Byron]

Yeah. He had a banana.

[John Holmberg]

Goddamn thing always goes to the right. Talking about your golf ball or your winger.

[Byron]

A natural banana hook.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just there it always goes. I can't correct this. It's like. It's like baked in. I know why your dowling rod puts your ball over there every time. That's great. I didn't get any emails from anybody who said they had it. Not one person, but yet there's commercials saying, you got to be careful. This guy says, I know a guy who has it, and he gets shots in his wiener to break down the scar tissue. I'm not doing that.

[Brett Vesely]

Doing cherry juice.

[John Holmberg]

Just gonna have a crooked dick. That hurts a little bit. I'm not doing that. This one says, I think they use those devices they put on your big toe for bunions to straighten her out. Like, oh, God. See if I have to put my wiener in something like a finger splint. Yeah.

[Byron]

Aluminum.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not going to the doctor. I'm not going to the doctor.

[Byron]

Bend it around there.

[John Holmberg]

There's a few things I'm just not going to the doctor for. If anything ever gets lodged in my ass, I'm dying of that. I'm not necessarily dying of that. It's almost like HIV kills you. Like, it's not the hiv. It's the disease you get because of having hiv. That's the same thing of me having a Kong ball up my ass. If it's gone, I'm like, oh, no. And then I'm just gonna. That just kind of. I live with that for a few years, and when it starts to ache or whatever, then I just, you know, poison myself. I'm not getting a Kong ball removed.

[Byron]

Giving it enough time to see if I can pass it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just gonna ignore it.

[Byron]

I work the Kong ball out.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna go with your Route. I'm putting on some rose colored glasses and I'm ignoring what happened until it either goes away or I die from it and then let you guys have a field day with the autopsy results. Holy Christ. John died with a Kong ball in his butthole.

[Brady Bogan]

Wasn't in his butt anymore.

[John Holmberg]

It was a mile up his intestines. Told you I don't love you, you son of a. But yeah, I'm dying from that.

[Byron]

Maybe a friend come over with one of those snake catchers or garbage collector things and go up there and see if you can hit the Kong ball.

[John Holmberg]

No, I would. Look, I'd be digging around in there a lot trying to get it myself and probably like that book, the old lady who swallowed a Fly, by the time I'm dead, there's going to be seven or eight other things in there that's trying to get the other thing out. Like a hanger and a plastic one because I'm not going to cut myself. And then that gets stuck in there. Everything I do would just be a pile of things to get the first thing out. I'd try to throw up. I might try a little diy.

[Brett Vesely]

This guy said he had it.

[John Holmberg]

The one you're reading going through the front. Or has it? I've been getting laid more because girls want to see and feel my crooked wiener. I swear to God, I got one girl that comes over three times a week and massages it after I get my injection. Sign Kyle Bosen Court. Oh, sorry. He didn't say don't say my name, did he? No. Yeah. Well then there you go, Kyle.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's the followup to.

[Byron]

Well, now you save the time of.

[John Holmberg]

Bringing that topic up because he's like, girls, ladies.

[Byron]

He's got to be talking about it.

[John Holmberg]

Wanna see you ever. You ever follow Australian history and the boomerang? Because I got one. Interesting. Yikes. Now all of a sudden. Yesterday we talked about it and all these guys have it. Oh, it's the same dude. Yeah, yeah. Doesn't say anywhere on please don't use my name. So what, you get the shot? You have to work around like a glow stick. You bend it, crack it, pull it, stretch it. That's what I have. It's got a physical therapist three times a week that does that for him.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that that girl Asian girl massage over there?

[John Holmberg]

You're paying for this. Then sign Kyle Bosankart. Kyle, I heard you on the radio this morning. Congratulations. It's okay, because he told us worst day ever. Why? He's bragging about it. He's got chicks knocking down his door to see the old sidewing.

[Dick Toledo]

Fast breaks and buzzer beaters don't stop just because it's the holidays. It's Dick Toluto for Underdog, the app where picking the NBA can score you 5,000 times your money. Playing on Underdog is so easy. Just pick if your favorite players will go higher or lower on their stats. You can give me Grayson Allen to go higher on three pointers every time. And with Underdog unwrapped, you'll unwrap tons of promos all throughout the holidays. They've got boosts, gimme pics, deal reveals and even some surprises sprinkled in. So Underdog with me and download the app today and use the promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. Underdog Make Picks win money must be 1819 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where Underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com webs play and underscore dfs underscore.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call 24. 7 Hope Line at 1-87-7-8, HOPE NY or text HOPE NY to 467369.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and doughotkins.com I got a call from Doug the other day thanking me for leading so many of you guys his direction. He told me a story of a listener who had been through quite an ordeal and had a house they absolutely had to sell to feel like they were getting back to a normal place in life. You when simple business transactions can actually change someone's life. So you want to deal with somebody great. TV's Doug Hopkins. That's your guy. So if you want to sell your house, start the process right now [e-mail] or grab that phone and sing.

[Dick Toledo]

Would you want to do that?

[John Holmberg]

The Best of the Morning Sickness is on the air. 98 KUPD. Get Charlie in here. He starts firing everybody up about Jesus Christ. I had to sit that one out.

[Byron]

It hurts. It hurts to have someone such a zealot for hatred.

[John Holmberg]

It isn't a zealot for hatred.

[Byron]

He's a zealot of going out of his way at opposing the Catholic church.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't like it.

[Byron]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

That's all right. Man. You guys are intense. I'm just gonna sit over here and drink my water. Bogan family's a mess. Can't get along at all. Yeah, those two are going at it in here. How did you guys. How did you guys live together?

[Byron]

You should have punched Charlie because his new inspiration.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, don't. Don't you point at me. You've been rubbing off on me. Well, actually he showed up. Don't start that with me. He fought with his mother and father for years about this. I'm not taking any Birds flock together. How did I get in on this? I've hung out with the kids once.

[Byron]

You're a. You're a turn a big influence on him. I'm not saying that's bad.

[John Holmberg]

Come here. It's good. You're also saying Charlie was too weak minded to get past a conversation with Was I an influence on Mark Malone too? Because he's just as guilty of talking about that stuff with Charlie. Get in here. I'm not testing for that. I hope you're not telling his parents that. John Holmes.

[Byron]

Why are you so upset about that?

[John Holmberg]

Because you're obviously. You called him a zealot for hate. That's what you think of me.

[Byron]

But he. There's where he's missing the boat on your side of it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm a zealot for hate. But I admit it. I don't need people telling me that. I already know it. The accusations are ugly. I can imagine how those phone calls. I made him atheist in the bogan house. You better not say that. He's been influenced and he pointed to me. That's not right. He came in here arguing with you.

[Byron]

No, I. I think I had.

[John Holmberg]

No, I talked about the Kim Davis Pope thing. He didn't know really arguing.

[Byron]

I'm.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't know about the Kim Davis meeting with exaggerations on his point was he had not known about the Kim Davis thing. He came in, we brought it up because he said something about the church. He's like, wow, I didn't know that. And that's what we started to talk about. That the Pope's message to me is a little mixed. You can't all of a sudden start saying, oh yeah, sure, gays can come in. Gays can be allowed in. Why not? And he's the first Pope to do it. The reason it's a big deal when he says it is because all the other popes said no. They can't. They slammed the door on. Well, then why is it a big deal? Why is it a big deal that.

[Byron]

Being the Pope came out and said.

[John Holmberg]

Then why is it a big deal?

[Byron]

Gays are not welcome into the Catholic.

[John Holmberg]

Then why is he the first pope to say gays are welcome in the Catholic Church? Why is that? What he knows?

[Byron]

He's basically saying that message to the world, not just the Catholic Church.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so what other popes, all the others have said it. You've. All, all the other popes have said it. So he's just the one that got all the attention for it. No, all the other popes said no. All the other popes have stood firm on it. That's what we're talking about. And when he comes out and says that he's getting credit and I give him credit for it, it's a, It' a nice statement. But then to go hang out with Kim Davis afterwards, credit for.

[Byron]

I think what they're saying is they're trying to make it seem like, oh, they're gonna. Now the Catholic Church might be looking at holding, allowing gays to do weddings in the Catholic Church, but I know.

[John Holmberg]

He'S been credited as the first pope to allow gays in, like, just to openly say, this is, this is okay. And that's why Republicans are so mad at him. He's not holding firm to the old popes, but he, he just changed on that because. Just recently. Because he started saying in the beginning he was against it. He's still against.

[Byron]

It's a few statements that come out, and then the media get a hold of it and everyone says, this is what he's saying.

[John Holmberg]

He says it. It's always like, there's, like, it's not that. It's not so twisted. Like, he said, no, I'm against this, this and this. When he first came in, it's kind of like he's actually said, I've changed my stance, which I give him credit for. That's pretty. Yeah.

[Byron]

I think his general message about the, the hating that is going on is just knock it off.

[John Holmberg]

No matter what your religion, no matter what your belief, the mixed message there is that, yes, he's preaching anti hate. And then he goes and meets Kim Davis and says, keep it up, you're doing great. He did.

[Byron]

He said, I. I support your encourage.

[John Holmberg]

He's supporting stay strong.

[Byron]

He did not stay strong.

[John Holmberg]

Now, what do you think she heard?

[Byron]

Stay strong in your faith.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Stay strong and believing what you believe. It was just in June he said that gay Parents can't be real parents. Right. They can't properly raise children. That's a. That's. That's a zealot of hate, if you ask me.

[Byron]

That would be zealot of group parents can't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Gay parents. Yeah, yeah, but that. So that guy. I have a hard time hearing all these things say you shouldn't hate. But I don't have a problem. I don't have a problem with it.

[Byron]

Because I think he's got some valid. He has some valid points there. There's a different. On raising a kid, but I don't.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's. I've been to Brady, I've been to Apache Junction. The. The heteros haven't done it. Exactly. Awesome.

[Byron]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

There are plenty of gay parents that are just. Yeah, they're doing great and most of the time they're very successful. It's two dudes. You just said that. He has a point there.

[Byron]

Let me make the point then. I think there's a difference between a single parent too. There's downsides of a.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Byron]

A single mom parent that a kid. That is.

[Dick Toledo]

Why can't we just say there's challenges to parents parenting.

[Byron]

There's challenges to parenting.

[John Holmberg]

I think. And that's my opinion. I make it very clear that I think two people in a house is much better than one. I agree with you completely. Yeah. So two gays to.

[Byron]

Whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever. Whatever's doing half the work and, you know, helping you out. It's easier for me to do. To have two guys mowing my grass than it is to do it by myself. And it's basically, you know, two is. Two is a stronger unit than one.

[Byron]

And Toledo, you said it a lot better. There's difficulties in parenting.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Not taking the heat for this nonsense. Bringing down the. Bring down the Bogan family. Can blame me for this. The kid showed up atheist.

[Byron]

You don't worry you haven't brought down the Bogan family.

[John Holmberg]

You pointed. I didn't say anything about that. I say something made the.

[Byron]

The statement that you've been an influence on Charlie.

[John Holmberg]

How so, Charlie? Have I been an influence on you?

[Byron]

Defend yourself, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, Wood. On this religious stuff. I feel like I've had beliefs for a while. Thank you. This is. I have nothing to do with your personal beliefs. I stopped belie like my sophomore year of high school. All right, thank you. Nothing to do with me. Correct. You didn't have to listen in one day and go, that guy. That guy's speaking the truth. Nothing to do with you and your family. Strife? Not at all. What, my beliefs? No, no, just any in general. I am I cause for your family dysfunction? How would you. Thank you very much. That's all I needed to hear. Thanks, Charlie Wolf, everybody. Brady's nephew had nothing to do with it. Pointing to me and saying, I'm part of.

[Byron]

Of your life since you've been out here.

[John Holmberg]

I think all of you have been very influential to my life since I've been out here.

[Dick Toledo]

Boom.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you.

[Byron]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But John.

[Byron]

But you spend a lot of time with John.

[John Holmberg]

Not really. A little more than anyone else.

[Byron]

You haven't. Okay, that's been a lot of time. I apologize.

[John Holmberg]

How much time do I spend with you? I've spent more time with Charlie looking at houses. Yeah, that's true. Bars. We went out to those later than all of you. Yeah, he spends more time with Toledo. How come he isn't boring? Bingo. He's still entertaining to talk to. Still has no thirst for Toledo's. Not catching heat for influence.

[Byron]

Well, then I will clear this up with the Bogan Wolf family. That. Yeah, John, that you are not an infant.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you, Charlie. You're your own man. I'll give you your. I'll be the guy who gives you credit. You're your own man. You should be insulted. Yeah, you should be. I said you had no mush. You had a mush brain that I molded and turned you into the devil.

[Byron]

Evil. No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

Zealot of hate you were called.

[Byron]

Well, that's.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it hurts a little bit, but you know, I'm going to pull one out of the Jesus playbook. I'm going to turn the other cheek. Thank you very much, Charlie. That's big of you, you zealot of hate. You believe that Brady? You called him a zealot of hate and pointed at me.

[Byron]

Pretty passionate about the hatred towards the Catholic Church.

[John Holmberg]

I think he's full of it. I. I'm with you on that one. I'm not a zealot of hate. But you haven't been doing too well lately. You got to AD or maybe in history. They've got a lot of work. I mean, lately in the last 2,000 years or something, right? Yeah, since the Jeebus. They've had a struggle getting it together. But hey, if you have a.

[Byron]

It's working college and professional. They're professional.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They still got a better house than I got. I mean, I don't know. They've done it through. I mean, look, if we had a child raping scandal shoot through KUPD and we all Went and worked at other radio stations because our bosses pushed us. I'm not sure the station would survive, but somehow they've actually flourished.

[Byron]

So hopefully I. I hope it's. Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's all well on that.

[Byron]

I hope this pope is legitimate, but again, you're hearing a lot of talk where he's saying, I want to make. We want to clean this up. We want.

[John Holmberg]

You called your nephew a zealot of hate and then pointed to me as the influence of that, and I am no such person. You are a zealot of hate on your own. You needed no help there, and you spend too much time with Eric. How come you didn't blame Eric? They were spending all sorts about it.

[Byron]

Most.

[John Holmberg]

Please.

[Byron]

Your commonality and the hatred towards religion.

[John Holmberg]

And the Cleveland Browns. I hate the Browns.

[Byron]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Not the zealot of hate to make. He still loves the Browns. I haven't influenced him that way. Crying out loud, Eric, what did you do to him when you guys were looking for condos?

[Byron]

Boy, if I turned him into the devil, I don't know why.

[John Holmberg]

Could you accuse me of being a zealot of hate? Inspiration.

[Byron]

Oh, you're an inspiration to hate.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think that's a fairly judgmental statement from a cat. Christian. Charlie, tonight we talk about masturbating our leaders. When you come to my house tonight as your Svengali, the name of tonight's.

[Dick Toledo]

Exercise is work the shaft.

[John Holmberg]

Work the shaft. Yes. The tip is later. We'll do that. I'll give you the tip. Not an inspiration or influence to Charlie any more than Toledo. Hangs out with Toledo all day long. They talk about everything. They watch Jim Jeffries videos. They watch comedy stuff all the time. He's still got a personality. He's still fun to talk to. Toledo's been zero influence on him, and they spend all day together. He doesn't want a Yaris. He hasn't driven great lengths for no reason. I'm happy with my CR V. You two are peasing a fog with that one. That's true. But you don't climb in the CRV and drive to Wyoming. I drove here. Yeah, you stopped. You didn't go back. It's. Yeah, you learned your lesson. That's enough driving. Are you gonna drive back anytime soon? Horrible, right? Your planes are full anyway. Brady, you should be a better influence on your. On your Charlie. Because we've kicked it.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what he's upset about.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. That's true. Oh.

[Byron]

Oh, is it. Is that what it was?

[John Holmberg]

The zealot of hate. Hug you. I like that nickname, though. Brady's nephew, the zealot of hate. Maybe they sent. Maybe the family sent Charlie down here so Brady could turn. Turn him into. Oh, my God. Did you hear what you just said? He was sent down. Maybe he was sent down just like Jesus. Maybe there was a plan.

[Byron]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

Go live with your uncle.

[Byron]

That's. That's not the.

[John Holmberg]

He will teach you the ways. Don't talk to the bald one. Over here, boy. Want an apple? Anyway? The Bogans and Wolfs very insulting. Brady, call me a zealot of hate. Inspiring your nephew to be a zealot of hate. I'm insulting him.

[Byron]

Just fueled him him. Fueled him more so. He seems more passionate about it.

[John Holmberg]

Judge me. It's a zealot of hate.

[Byron]

Since he's been here, more so. But I have, you know. Well, he has a definitely bond, you know, not as much there's a bond. That's what I meant to say.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Yeah. But I don't. I would never say to you, oh, you and another religious person, you zealot of stupidity, have. I mean, that would be really insulting to you, wouldn't it?

[Byron]

I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

You said I was a zealot of hate. Inspiration. No, And I would call it stupid. I'm just using another insult. You have hurt John's feelings. I'm using it, yes.

[Byron]

Apologize if I've hurt your feelings.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. Because it does hurt my feelings. That is an awful thing to say.

[Byron]

To somebody, but you have been an.

[John Holmberg]

Influence, but not a zealot of hate. I'll say that I'm an influence. He's been an influence on me.

[Byron]

Has been. It comes across.

[John Holmberg]

Charlie's a history major.

[Byron]

I like talking to him, but. But the.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't come across this element of hatred like.

[Dick Toledo]

But the influence means that he's influencing his. His opinions. I think Charlie's had those opinions.

[John Holmberg]

He's confirming them.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, by the way, not influencing them.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it just.

[Byron]

It fuels him more. So I. I know you've had those feelings.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And I feel like I've been passionate about it. I think John's a little more eloquent about them. Thank you. That's the word I'm looking for. I'm a zealot of eloquence.

[Byron]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

That's better. That's a compliment. Thank you, Brady.

[Byron]

But you've admitted that you said. Yes, I'm a zealot of hate.

[John Holmberg]

It's a joke.

[Byron]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

If I say it's like it's like my own N word.

[Byron]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

The zealot of hate is funny to say about yourself, but if somebody says that guy, zealot of hate. You don't walk around going, hey, that's fun. I feel like I'm a pretty happy person. Me too. I'm very happy.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, next year's New times.

[John Holmberg]

Of hate in the city. It's a battle between Charlie and I. I better stop Influence.

[Byron]

There again, the. The phrase is zealot of hate towards the Catholic.

[John Holmberg]

But this still you just said, which is a lot.

[Byron]

Zealot of hate in bra. In a broad spectrum.

[John Holmberg]

I was force fed Catholicism since day one. I know that I had to go to from kindergarten through 12th grade. I went to Catholic schools. And yeah, I hate it.

[Byron]

So then why am I off on this? Because you said he's the one.

[John Holmberg]

Because you said I did it.

[Byron]

I said he did it.

[John Holmberg]

I helped him be the zealot of hate.

[Byron]

You get him excited about that because you have that.

[John Holmberg]

He was already excited about it. I just never was free to speak about it before.

[Byron]

You're just a great.

[John Holmberg]

He was in a Catholic church with a Catholic family, the guy.

[Byron]

Oh, he's able to speak about it?

[John Holmberg]

Not much, no. Yeah, he's in a happy, comfortable area to feel like, you know what I.

[Byron]

You've released the Kraken.

[John Holmberg]

I have helped him. I know I have helped him find himself, if there's anything. But in fairness, Charlie's a very smart young man who's got a history degree, knows his stuff, so he's interesting to talk to in a lot of areas.

[Byron]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So if anything, this kid's influenced me because he's smarter than I'll ever be. That's for sure.

[Byron]

Like this.

[John Holmberg]

Still a Browns fan, but not believing in fiction.

[Dick Toledo]

Religion isn't hate, it's opinion.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Byron]

It's just not believing.

[John Holmberg]

Again, though it's not complimentary, you would admit that my nephew is a zealot of hate and it's because of you.

[Byron]

Towards the Catholic Church. Okay, okay, please clarify that.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't say that, but now you're saying. Now you're saying. Okay, if you do say not originally.

[Byron]

Not originally towards the Catholic Church.

[John Holmberg]

You said that. I said that from the G initially. You did not. Because that's when I was like, I didn't make him a zealot of hate.

[Byron]

No, you ran with the zealot of hate.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's cuz that's what you said. It's the last of Homburg's Morning sickness on 98K upd. Looking just at the papers, you know, just kind of keeping up with things to see this in the AZ Central today. Interesting, because it, you know, to me it's a Pandora's box. It opens up a big old debate on where you draw the line. Jackson, Mississippi. Now here it's the first problem is we're in Mississippi. So trying to say anything's relevant and throw Mississippi in the mix and they're gonna have a different mindset than us. But there's an 18 year old student says the Mississippi school board canceled her prom, did so in retaliation for her request to bring a girl as a date. A little lesbonic Mississippi lesbian action.

[Byron]

Wouldn't you have to request?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, that's the thing. Just show up. I mean, that's what I don't understand.

[Byron]

HOA or something.

[John Holmberg]

The American Civil Liberties Union, who sometimes demanded that the school allow Constance McMillan to attend with her girlfriend. And I don't understand that. How do you know? Yeah, you're exactly right. It's like, all right, write down who you're taking because we don't want this to turn it. We're Mississippi. We. Chances are one of you is going to try a darky whitey prom date thing. And we got to keep our eye on that. So what? They were shocked when they found out that they had two girls and it wasn't just an interracial problem in Mississippi. It was two chicks that wanted to bump donuts at the prom.

[Byron]

Elizabeth Banks, we forbid you to take that Chinaman to prom.

[John Holmberg]

There are no Chinese people in Mississippi anymore.

[Dick Toledo]

Not one.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Byron]

Ever since the.

[John Holmberg]

They've all disappeared since the prom thing of no. No Chinese white relations in the mid. School board statement Wednesday announced the district wouldn't host. The promotion had no, like mention of the lesbian thing. But they said unspecified events would cause.

[Byron]

Distraction because immediately they're thinking, oh, a couple of lesbians go out there and on the dance floor, it's going to be a wreck.

[John Holmberg]

It's going to be vagina flying all over our gym floor. We can't have it.

[Byron]

And maybe they're. The board's a little panicked. If we allow this couple, then there's.

[John Holmberg]

Going to be Brady. Oh yeah, then you start talking about poop wiener. And that's what they're really afraid of is, oh, this leads to poop wiener and our acceptance, or lack of acceptance of poop wiener. And that's really what everybody in this country is afraid of is the poop weaner. Yeah, nobody Wants to talk about it. That's true. But there you draw the line, because what if this girl isn't a lesbian? Just couldn't find. Maybe she's like, you know, precious sized and she can't find a date, but she's got a good friend who also is precious sized, and two of them decide to go to the prom together just to experience prom. They're not lesbians. They're just friends.

[Byron]

But I don't think that's what this request is. No, this is her goal.

[John Holmberg]

What's the difference? It's not like they're gonna just start, you know, showing people how to scissor on the floor.

[Byron]

I. You know, I think it's just kind of. It's still young. I think there should be a law passed that you cannot declare lesbos until you're 21.

[John Holmberg]

There's no declaration of sexual.

[Byron]

Yeah. On either side.

[John Holmberg]

Till you're 21.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You can't drink. You can't. You gotta, you know, run a couple of wangs through the system before you make this choice. At 18, right? That's what you're saying. You know, how do you know you don't. How do you know red doesn't look good on you until you've tried red on? You're crazy, Brady. But, yeah, it just doesn't make any sense. So you just. What about the. The kids who can't get dates? There were plenty of girls who couldn't get. We had two lesbians in my high school that went together. We didn't know they were lesbians, but they didn't have dates. But one of them was really hot, and every guy liked her, and it was Jen Eshelman. She was cute.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But we didn't know. And then she starts mouthing off a few weeks later that her and the girl. Girl started to, you know, lick away, you know, And I'm like, wait a minute, What? And I didn't understand it at the time. I didn't think it was real at that age.

[Dick Toledo]

We always had a couple of couples that were like that, too. Most of the time it was girls. A couple guys did it on a dare, you know, go to prom.

[John Holmberg]

That was it.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know if that.

[Byron]

And usually the. The gay guy that was there, he would always take the girl because he'd always take the. His friends were always.

[John Holmberg]

The bs. The girls just. Judge had that date. Bill Tankovich had that date. They were nice guys. But you knew.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Tankovich especially, but he always had chicks around him. And he had, like, two Dates to prom. And I think both those girls ended up eating carpet too. So it's kind of a, you know, let's not stir the pot. I'll take you, and then your lesbian friend can take Jess. And then after prom will swap.

[Byron]

You know, what they should do is say to the school board, these girls that are, you know, have caused a stir in the prom, don't cancel the prom. Just say, hey, you know what? We'll take a male date.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

There's times to bird dog on the other guy's date, you know, yeah, they can hook up later.

[Dick Toledo]

Find the two guys that want poop winner.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, find the poop winner. Guys in combo, you have to double day. The lesbians have to take a poop winner to the thing because that's really what they're afraid of. It's people, people. We don't frown on lesbianism. Like, we do the gay thing and it's mainly because of the poop. We all know that's true. Nobody ever says it, but that's true.

[Byron]

I can just. That school board's just wiggin up. I can just see it now. They're gonna circle up like circus elephants and dance on the floor. It's gonna.

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna get ugly. Just cancel the whole goddamn thing.

[Dick Toledo]

Cancel it.

[Brady Bogan]

Cancel it.

[John Holmberg]

Ain't no reason to have those lesbos doing their demonic devil vagina dances on our gym floor. They can't even wear shoes on it.

[Dick Toledo]

They don't wear shoes, sir.

[John Holmberg]

You don't wear shoes on the gym floor. Are you crazy? Scuff that thing up.

[Byron]

Black sold shoes.

[John Holmberg]

Nuts. They're bananas. But you know, we're also talking about Mississippi, where literally I watched on HBO a special that was two years old. Morgan Freeman found out about this thing and narrated and put together the very first interracial prom this county had ever seen. And it was craziness. These people had never seen a white man kiss a black girl before. And now they're gonna. And it was the integration of the prom of the black and white school. And they were gonna have some. You know, some of them were dating each other and it was just. Oh, the whole city was going crazy. Two years old.

[Byron]

And this high school in Mississippi is going through a transition because this year they started busing in less lesbians.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Well, they've been doing that for years in Mississippi. They love those buses. How about that teen life, huh? I'm a gay kid in Mississippi. You're not gonna have problems forever. What an understanding bunch you're around. So anyway, but I just find it odd that the school can cancel the whole prom and then blame the lesbians.

[Byron]

You can't do that.

[John Holmberg]

No, you cancel the prom, sure, you but. And since when do you have to request your date? That's a good point, Brady.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, my God, you're right. They had separate proms for black students.

[John Holmberg]

And one for a White until 2007. And Morgan Freeman was the one who broke that up. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Took him 11 years to do it.

[John Holmberg]

Took him a decade. I was just gonna say, if I remember right, he's been trying for a long time. I've been petitioning the board for quite a while. Finally, Black Wang can meet with White Beaver. Have no problem at this prom.

[Byron]

Man, that town hates.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they hate Morgan Freeman.

[Brady Bogan]

The bucket list is on.

[Byron]

Turn it.

[John Holmberg]

That's his.

[Dick Toledo]

It's his hometown.

[John Holmberg]

It says they're that awful Morgan Freeman in here. They can't stand him. Hello, Mississippi.

[Brady Bogan]

Get out of here. Morgan Freeman.

[John Holmberg]

You went and conjoined the genitals of our beautiful white daughter with some humongous black boy. I enjoy Mississippi. Well, we don't enjoy you. Take your shawshank ass out here, go to Alabama, where that stuff's acceptable. They're in a quandary.

[Dick Toledo]

Black thoughts.

[John Holmberg]

You and your filthy, demonic Negro thoughts.

[Byron]

They're in a quandary because they love Marsh the Penguin so much. But the narration.

[Brady Bogan]

I can't believe it.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody's penguin movie rubbing me the wrong way. Then the penguin slide down the hill. Oh, that's grubby Morgan Freeman again, isn't it?

[Brady Bogan]

If it's black and white.

[John Holmberg]

He talks about it. Now he's on penguins. Yeah, Mississippi's lost its mind. It's 7:50 in the morning sickness. But if you're planning your prom right now, or your kid is or whatever, and they're taking a girl. Wow. There's ways around it, I guess. You can petition the school board to cancel the whole damn thing for everybody. Just.

[Byron]

I want to meet the date committee.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I do too. No. You know that you're taking who? The Anne McElhenney? No, she's way out of your league. We're canceling the whole thing if you two show up together.

[Byron]

Get her on the proactive, then you can take her.

[John Holmberg]

Deanne was my date to prom. She was much prettier than I was and in the middle of prom, told another girl the only reason she went is because Justin, her old boyfriend, didn't ask her and she wanted to keep an eye on him. And I found that out in the middle of the day. And keep in mind, I had like a hotel room all rented. We were gonna have a big party. And that was the one where you.

[Byron]

Had a license to drive.

[John Holmberg]

I was thinking, hey, this is awesome. We get along great shipment. But that was the rumor that came back to me in the middle. So the whole prom was ruined in the middle because my giant watermelon head and toothpick body had finally found someone that would accept me for what I am. Grown up. Stewie.

[Byron]

I said yes to Rocky Dennis.

[Brady Bogan]

I said yes to the retarded boy.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not. I don't even know how he stands on those sticks.

[Byron]

I'm right here.

[John Holmberg]

I can hear you. We're at prom. Back to the room. And she. You little chickadee.

[Brady Bogan]

I do WC Fields.

[John Holmberg]

I did impressions. And she loved it. My Fields was killing him. Chickadee. Over here. Chickadee. Get away from me, boy. SWC Fields isn't right. So. Yeah. So I find that out in the middle of prom. And then she goes to sleep. Sleep after drinking tons of Bartles and James. And I whacked it on the carpet of the hotel watching the 10 second stuff while she laid there. So she's got that crying. She's got that probably. I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty messed up that night. And not drunk. Messed up emotionally. I was emotionally damaged. There were probably some tears. Some tears and whack. And there's nothing sadder than that. Dude.

[Dick Toledo]

The glow of the TV light.

[Byron]

Wow, look at that shot.

[John Holmberg]

Is that guy masturbating and crying? It's the most pitiful human lump I've ever seen. Sleep.

[Byron]

Got the dirty.

[John Holmberg]

I'm 30.

[Byron]

John.

[John Holmberg]

How was prom? I was fine. I took a black woman. It's out of control now.

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug hopkins.com have you ever thought to yourself, I'm gonna sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say you can sell that house the day after you say the words I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything. Won't move the price or you get $5,000. What do you do? Start the process right now@doug hop hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing.

[Byron]

There'S.

[John Holmberg]

More of the best of homework's morning sickness. 98 KUPD. You put wool on in the summer here? Even light wool? Yes. Smell. I had wool seat covers in my Jeep in 1990. No air conditioning in that thing. Good. Christ. Spend one summer with wool Seacoast and I got the real sheepskin. I got the real ones. I didn't get those fake ones that you get over at Autozone. I got the real one and within about an hour I smelled like a wet poodle getting a perm in a sewer. It was.

[Brett Vesely]

Mom had that in her Buick years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they smell horrible. And that was with air conditioning. In a Buick. Imagine. Oh yeah, an open air Jeep. And I could still. You could smell my Jeep with the top and doors off about seven parking spots away. Like it smelled like bad shoes.

[Brett Vesely]

Who thought that was a good idea back in the. I mean. But I mean.

[John Holmberg]

Who? Me? Stupid John. Cuz it looked cool in the wintertime. Awesome summertime. One sweaty day after a basketball game, you hop on those cushy beautiful sheepskin. Oh, this is nice.

[Byron]

Get him in the Subi.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Oh, your Subaru was a nightmare. That thing was the hottest car.

[Byron]

Aspirin.

[John Holmberg]

It stunk. Yeah. And I had that.

[Byron]

And I had the dark sheep skin. Oh, does it match better with.

[John Holmberg]

It was black leather, black interior. That was a bad idea. That whole car you got that whole purchase was from beginning middle school.

[Byron]

That was a phase.

[John Holmberg]

That was a phase all right. It was your college days.

[Byron]

If you want to ask me did I experiment. I did.

[John Holmberg]

Brady experimented with lesbianism like most girls when they're 19, except for he was in his mid-30s and he was a man. Showed up in an outback with emerald grain gold package. That was awful. I never forget the day Jim Wilson and I got out of the car. Check it out. Got a new ride. We just started laughing. We got a rental car. What do you got here? Two moon roofs. Weather channel. This is the dumbest car I've ever been in. Are you kidding me? What do you have? You have a wagon. You're a 31 year old man. You have a wagon. This thing is sweet. Brady is joking with us. We thought for two days you were kidding around. We just kept waiting for that car to go back. We thought for sure you got a rental. They just gave you that as a loaner.

[Byron]

Chick magnet.

[John Holmberg]

While your real car. Oh yeah, it was a chick magnet. Until they saw what was driving it. Oh, the guy inside. We're not interested.

[Byron]

Like, that's it. No more flannels.

[John Holmberg]

It was the ugliest. Did you ever see that? He had it when we first started here. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And I couldn't figure out whose car it was.

[John Holmberg]

We didn't have any last. You did.

[Brett Vesely]

You did at the very beginning when you guys first started there.

[John Holmberg]

Pulled into that.

[Brett Vesely]

And then I think the avalanche was.

[John Holmberg]

After that ugly ass forest green outback with the gold package. I don't know what you were thinking. And then he went, hey, we all make mistakes. Yeah, we all make mistakes. I'll give you that. And then he stuck those. It was dark black. It wasn't. Wasn't black. It was dark black inside. It was the most opaque. And then he put the grossest seat covers on there. They were fuzzy and they stunk.

[Byron]

Or cheap. Oh my gosh.

[John Holmberg]

Everything you did in that car was bad. I wish you still had it. And it did sit in your driveway for a while. When you got a new car, you were shamed out of it. But you hung on to that for a little. You did.

[Byron]

No, I got.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you did. Just didn't Torp have it? No, he didn't drive that around for a little bit. While he was out?

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Anyway, I remember that thing sticking around for a while. It felt like it had it for years because it was just a. An anchor on your life as a man. I don't know who talked you into that. Salesman of the year, by the way.

[Brett Vesely]

Can you imagine those guys elbowing each other? I'll bet you 100 bucks I could sell it to that guy.

[John Holmberg]

You're on. I can see him in the tower with their binoculars. Steven, come here. There's a man in the parking lot at the Subaru dealership. Let's go get him. No, that's not a man. There's no way that's a. That's a lesbian on chemotherapy.

[Byron]

Thousand bucks. She's going to sell it to a man.

[John Holmberg]

She's. All right, boys. Now it's our chance. We're gonna blow the big horn. If anybody sells one of these bad boys to a man. Are you sure? It's built a little like a woman. I think that's Rosie o' Donnell without her wig. I'm just searching around for a brand new wagon. It's a trap. There's no way this is real.

[Byron]

I'll tell you how it worked. We'll buy this advertising schedule from you.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Byron]

Buy the Subaru that we choose in.

[John Holmberg]

Order to sell them something for its like.

[Byron]

No, I didn't. But I was calling on them for advertising.

[John Holmberg]

Advertise. Oh, and did they buy at least? Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. All right.

[John Holmberg]

That didn't counter the amount of money you spent.

[Byron]

Come on down to Petrie Subaru.

[John Holmberg]

There's a guy out there. We gotta sell him that car. It's a trap. I think we're being tested. I'm gonna sell them.

[Byron]

That was right. There's a bonus. There's a bounty.

[John Holmberg]

Had to be. Absolutely had to be.

[Brett Vesely]

Still don't think it paid enough.

[Byron]

I got a sweet deal on it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They had to be there had to be that moment where there's Today, gentlemen, we sell an Outback to a man. I know. Calm down. Calm down. It sounds impossible. We've climbed Everest, done all sorts of stuff. We can sell to a man. And there's one in our parking lot right now. And he's not lost or doing any sort of maintenance. Now get out there and try to sell that man in Outback and I'll give you $10,000 and the job as general sales manager. Cause you, sir, are the best salesman alive.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll take it.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ. That was easy. What a dolt.

[Byron]

Don, go out there, talk to that guy. With the beanie with a pillar on it.

[John Holmberg]

I have one job to do today. Sell this Japanese car to this weird little man who's not aware that it's only for lesbians. I played tennis like Martina Navratilova. Dear God. That's our spokeswoman. He does want an Outback. This isn't fake at all. How many times did they just poke at you? Why do you guys keep doing that? Just want to see if you're real. Is this a dream? Will you pinch me, sir? Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

I pinched a man.

[Byron]

That WRX with the fin on it looks kind of cool. Now let's take a look at what wagons.

[John Holmberg]

I pinched a man and I liked it. Pinch me again. Are you crying? It's the greatest day of my life. Mr. Brady Bogan, you don't know how happy you've made me and my family. I'm gonna go home and say that I'm the only man in the Subaru company that's done the impossible. You sell a forest green Outback with a gold pack. Gets to a man.

[Brett Vesely]

Guy's probably CEO of Subaru now.

[John Holmberg]

He probably had to change his name to Mr. Subaru. Probably had a guy go, oh, you're no Kiga tsuru. Step aside, Mr. Subaru. The whole place belongs to Mina.

[Byron]

Yeah. The trophy's like the size of a Supercross wind. It's about four feet high.

[John Holmberg]

Did he at any point go. You know that Subaru makes plenty of different models for. For all sorts of people. Not just the Outback for lesbians. I want the Outback. This is insane. It pure insanity. Chaos. Why do you keep looking up? Keep waiting for dogs and cats to fall out of the sky? I'm going to be taken away today. This dream can't be real. I'll take it. And I'll pay full price. Why don't you throw in some black sheepskin covers too? Jesus Christ. He's more lesbian than a lesbian. Give me one of those air freshers that makes that fish smell good going. Oh.

[Byron]

Car is still running.

[John Holmberg]

We have salmon and we have trout. Oh, salmon, huh? Is it smoked? Whatever you want.

[Byron]

The lady that owns it now has 900,000 miles on it, kind of like a top.

[John Holmberg]

And she's moved into 16 different homes with other lesbians. They move in together anyway. I don't know how we got off on that, but my God.

[Byron]

I did get a wind chime for the purchase.

[John Holmberg]

Did you have a winch? Here's your wind chime in your free U haul rental. Are you gonna need that? Who Wouldn't. This is great stuff. Thanks. Subaru.

[Brett Vesely]

Were you really looking for an Outback at the time or just.

[Byron]

Oh, no, I was not.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Byron]

But then, you know.

[John Holmberg]

But he was unaware of it. He did no research, surprisingly.

[Byron]

Maybe I should get one of these.

[John Holmberg]

As when he showed up to work. My friend Jim Wilson, who's Asian, wasn't even a fan of him buying a Subaru. The Outback. The Subaru is a fine car and they're a good car. The Outback's a good car.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But it does have a reputation.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean if you had a WRX or something, I get that.

[John Holmberg]

Great, great. You know. But yeah, Brady would have pulled it. We'd have been looking at that, not thinking it was a joke. It was more so the. The hunter green gold package that was on it. We're like, this is. The things he was bragging about were like stuff in the 50s. Got an eight tracks, got a weather channel. Two moon roofs.

[Byron]

Like what Weather channel. Listen to this. Hot today.

[John Holmberg]

Weather channel. I remember sitting in the car with you. We went to lunch once and you turned the weather channel on. 108 degrees, clear skies tomorrow. 108 degrees, clear skies. It's like the guys on the mountain. And it was never clear. Yeah. Yeah. That was it. Brett just pulled up a picture.

[Byron]

There it is. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

With the gold package too.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. That was awful. Brady. I don't. The only thing different was yours looked that yours.

[Byron]

I don't think I had the gold.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't have the bottom edge. Yeah. You didn't have gold. I'll give you that. You didn't have the gold rooms. I think they were black. Yeah.

[Byron]

But that's the gem.

[John Holmberg]

That's the cream puff. Oh, I'll never forget that day. That was one of my favorite. It was so clear to me, Brady, that day of how silly you you looked getting out of that car that I remembered. My Quiznos sandwich was in my hand.

[Byron]

The taste. I remember what I ate on the next bite.

[Brett Vesely]

I didn't order tuna fish.

[Byron]

Some people remember when the one probably.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, everyone remembers where they were when Kennedy got shot. I remember exactly what I was doing and where I was when Brady pulled in. And that thing.

[Byron]

Yeah. So that would be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

2001.

[John Holmberg]

2000. Yeah. It had to. It had to be 99 or 2000 cuz we were still at the zone.

[Brett Vesely]

See how sweet this thing is?

[John Holmberg]

That's it, Brett.

[Byron]

That's piece of heaven right there.

[John Holmberg]

It's got a four banger in it. 121 horsepower. You know Why I see limited. Yeah, it's got to go slow so people get a good look at it.

[Byron]

My gosh. I'm getting.

[John Holmberg]

It's for sale if you want to pick it up. You know what? For your birthday this year, I'm gonna get you one of these.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, there's the moonroof.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, that's. What I should have got two Moonroof. Oh, it's.

[Brett Vesely]

I think it's got two.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yep.

[Byron]

Yeah, there's a second one back there.

[John Holmberg]

That is second moonroof for our second moon. Ah. And your parents wondered why you couldn't find a lady there in the early 2000s.

[Byron]

Had a lady in the suit.

[John Holmberg]

I know you did. She was confused, head out of the second moon room. You banged her in the Subaru and she was bouncing out of the roof.

[Byron]

It.

[John Holmberg]

She's got a story too.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This one sold for eight grand. I banged a man lesbian in the back of his Subaru once. How much? Eight grand. 8,000American.

[Byron]

How many miles on that cre. Oh, that's got the 26,000 low miles. Wow, that is slow.

[John Holmberg]

Very low. I'm gonna buy that 8 grand you're making. We should buy that for Kirby. This is what your daddy used to drive, and you're gonna be just like him someday. I don't want that for me. It's ugly. Ugly. You're talking about the sweetest ride ever. It's a. It's a different for sale for. Anyway, I don't know how we got off on Brady's out back, but that was a pretty good one. Merry effing holidays from the big red radio. Hberg's morning sickness.

[Brett Vesely]

This segment is brought to you guys.

[John Holmberg]

By Action Ride Shop.

[Brett Vesely]

Now, if you're thinking about heading up north to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just going to stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're going to need, so check them out [e-mail] or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern.

[John Holmberg]

It's Action Ride Shop. It's the last of Homburg's morning sickness. I'm 98 KUPD.

[Brady Bogan]

Hi, my name is.

[John Holmberg]

Huh? My name is. What?

[Brady Bogan]

Look, it's J. J, J. Jesus. Hi, my name is.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm really hungry. I want some bubba bubba bacon.

[John Holmberg]

Hi, my name is.

[Brady Bogan]

Ooh, cheeky chicky, chicky, chicky. Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

Well, this guy wrote Lyrics. It's the remix. I'm not even gonna try to rap it. But it's a brain. Come on. Hi kids.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you like prime rib? Do you wanna see me stick a nine inch roll under each one of my eyelids? Hey, do you wanna follow me and eat everything that I did? Drink cheese, get covered and smothered just like my life is? John thinks I'm dead weight. I'm trying to get my job straight but I can't figure out which buttons I should operate. Your aunt said hey Brady, you're a fathead. Nuh. That's why your face is red. The ketchup's wasted. Well, since age 12 I've parked somewhere else. Cause my parents left the original self with a Santa and the elves got pissed off. Ripped Brennaman's press pass off. Snuck into Bob, called John to make him cross. I ate a pound of Spam and ran to the can faster than a rant from a guy from boat Iran. Yum. Let's munch. Hey Brady, wait a minute. That's my lunch, you hog. I don't give a damn. God send me here to piss the world off.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brady Bogan]

Hi, my name is.

[John Holmberg]

Who?

[Brady Bogan]

Chicky chicky chicky chicky. Jesus. Hi there, my name is.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brady Bogan]

My name is.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm the S S Slim Savior. Hi, my name is. My name is What? I'm really hungry. Let's eat bacon. Hi, my name is Brady. I'm kinda chubby. I'm gonna eat Haagen Dazs. My friends and preacher want me to stop eating pie. Thanks a lot, guys. Without sweets, you know I'm gonna die. I stashed one in the men's room of the station. Chased it with some pastries. Wiped my face off with all the toilet papers. Went to a health club and tried to get a back rub. I got smacked by the trainer and chased out of the hot tub. Extraterrestrial one with Tom Brennaman. My dates keep telling me let's just be friends. 99% of my life I've been lied to. My mom eats more foods than I do. Damn. I told her I grew up to be tall, thin and dapper. Instead, I'm sure he's in the crapper. You know I've been blown up when the seam inside your pants ruptures when you stand.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that means.

[Brady Bogan]

Like a hole in the Hoover dam. The guy at Filiberto has asked for my autograph, so I signed it. Dear Jesus, where the hell am I? Kansas. Hi, my name Is Whoa. My name is Ticket, Ticket, ticket, Ticket Jesus. My name is.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brady Bogan]

My name is what? I'm the slim slim savior. My name's Brady, last name's Bogan. Hey, anybody got a hoagie? My name's Brady, last name's Bogan. I love cheeky jiggy Jesus. Hey, stop the tape. My fridge needs to be locked away. Hey, Danny Craig, don't just stand and reduce my weight. I'm always ready to eat. It's too scary to diet. I'll have to be carried inside the fat camp. Buried alive. Are my hardened arteries hardening? I can barely decide. I just dropped. I drank a fifth of butter. Dammit is right. My sex life is very deprived. I ain't had a woman in years so a hot pocket will do just fine. Close that. For my incredible bulk. I spit food when I talk. I eat anything that's pork. When I was little I used to get hungry so I'd throw fits. When are we gonna eat again, mom? It's been 10 minutes. I lay awake alone in my bed. I just turn the light on. I think it's Jesus. Cause I'm dead. Cream of rumbling spaz. And by the way, if John gets mad, tell him me and Jesus went away with creepy and a van.

[John Holmberg]

I think you get the idea. That's brilliant though. Well done. It's out of control now. 98, it's John Holberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about my [e-mail] you got something you want to do in that backyard because it's just not what you want it to be. Make it beautiful. With turfmonstersaz.com youm can turf it. You throw in a sport court. You can put pavers, lighting, pergolas, plants, fire pits. You dream it up and they can make it a reality. Turf Monsters will turn your backyard into an amazing outdoor space you can use every day of the year. Check it out right now. Turf Monsters AZ.com For 60 years, Fisher Tools has been the valley's trusted source for quality, precision and power. Family owned and operated for three generations, we're proud to be be a local tempe business offering the best tools and supplies for every construction job. With the largest selection of power tools in the valley. From Milwaukee to Makita to Dewalt, we've got everything you need to get the job done right. We're known for having everything in stock because our slogan is if we don't have it, we can't sell it. See why we've been the valley's Go.

[Brett Vesely]

To For tools for over 60 years.

[John Holmberg]

Visit Fisher Tools today in store or [e-mail] all they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of Hombre's morning sickness. It is time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at All Pro Shade. AllProChade.com is where you go if you want beautiful shade. You want something to fix that back patio. You want a TV on the back patio. Everybody's doing that. Every house, it seems, has a nice little setup on the back patio with TVs and, you know, place to hang out. It's like a living room outside. Because we live in Paris paradise. Why wouldn't you? So you can make it even better by putting a beautiful electric motorized awning on the back of your home that makes it look like it's supposed to be there, not like it's just an attachment. Get rid of these silly umbrellas that I got going on and start making things work out the way it's supposed to. AllProchade.com will give you a free heater if you get a motorized shade for your backyard or front yard, wherever you want to put it right now. And that is a smoking deal. A great Christmas holiday special. AllProche.com Brady reported.

[Byron]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Byron]

Happy National Law Enforcement Day.

[John Holmberg]

Tip your cap to that, boys and girls in blue.

[Byron]

A couple of baseless fun facts once a giant clam settles into a place and begins to grow.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, we're not talking about your mom anymore.

[Brett Vesely]

Stop.

[John Holmberg]

That conversation is over.

[Byron]

Tap it off. It settles into a place and it stays there for life, which can be 100 years or more.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Why? Okay. Hey, baby, how you doing? It's Rico Blaze up in the house on National Law Enforcement Day, and I'm gonna enforce it right inside you whether you want it or not, baby. All right. How you celebrating today?

[Byron]

With you.

[John Holmberg]

Wanna lick with you? Yeah. Wow. That's bold for you. It is bold for you, Brady, to assume that you would be in the same car as me on National Law Enforcement Day while I'm pulling up and arresting all that boon out there in the city today. All right. It's gonna be a nice day.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna say, Ooh, looks like you've been drinking a blow in this. I know there ain't nothing in my hands, girl, but I can tell if you're drunk. Or not just by that activity. All right? It's also a day in national law enforcement where Rico Blaze has made it. So if you under 170 pounds, you under arrest, baby. Because I don't want to see that. I want ladies over 170 walking my streets. If you under 170 get to eating, girl, it's time for a little corporal punishment, if you know what I'm talking about. Get a little regal nightstick up in this thing. I want to hear you say it. Get your hands behind my back. I like when a woman says, I can't breathe. That means I'm doing it right. National law enforcement day is important. Old Rico Blaze, you know how it is. I gotta arrest a couple perps, get to my house and file some reports while I'm buried in that big white ass I picked up on the way over. God damn. Check me out online. What was my name online again? I forgot. It was ridiculous. Forgot it all the way around. You asking your Miranda rights? Last time I checked with that bitch, she was fine. Miranda's doing all right. You have the right to remain silent. But I prefer if you don't. You have the right to an attorney to film the entire activity.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I got myself my little chest camera on. That's right. We're gonna film this entire endeavor, baby. I'm gonna show up, another cop's gonna come, and another cop's gonna come. There'll be cops coming all day long if you call us today.

[Dick Toledo]

By the way, I don't know how you forgot your online Persona. King Nut A Lot.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. King Nut A Lot. I forgot about that. Well, it's been a minute. I was banned for a little while, but. That's right. King Nut A Lot. Oh, looks like I'm getting a call on my radio. I'm on my way. God damn. Also, evidently, I'm a Dolphins fan and we in the playoffs. I just saw a picture of myself. I can't do this character while Toledo pulls up my actual sex videos. That's screwing things up right now. Because looking at King Nut A Lot actually in action and doing the voice, I can do play by playing my own work if you'd like. Let me get my beanie on. I like to wear a beanie. I like to look like a big rubber. But I. I don't wear them. I'm going to give you the bumps, baby, cuz nothing stops me. You got hemorrhoids? That's all right. That's just like going through a car wash. Every National Law Enforcement Day. This is Brett's fault. Ow. You ain't posted in a few months. Yeah.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Oh, my God.

[Byron]

There's a brand called Sevy that has a new up oven that is fast. That is as fast as a microwave. They claim it doesn't give chicken and other meat that rubbery texture like a microwave. And you can also bake it in under a minute. You can bake a cake in under four minutes.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, sounds like nuclear or something.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What the. I don't know if I'm. I'm not interested in that until they. I want to see a year or two of that in action before I see all the tumors popping up on folks.

[Byron]

Two brothers from Switzerland came up with a new cat door called Flappy. And that prevents what?

[John Holmberg]

Why is Rico blaze talk earlier this morning? Are you kidding me? You talking about pussy Flappy? Is it door for your kitty? Is it in the front or back of the house? I only prefer one. You don't like bug?

[Byron]

You can put it anywhere you want.

[John Holmberg]

Rico, I don't like those two words together. Sorry, baby. It's a little flappy for my taste. Put a little syrup on it, though. You got flapjacks? Now we're talking.

[Byron]

So Flappy prevents cats from bringing dead mice inside.

[John Holmberg]

How?

[Byron]

It's outfitted with an AI that can detect a dead animal in your cat's mouth, and it won't let you let him enter until they drop it.

[John Holmberg]

So it's just the cat turns into Wile E. Coyote and runs into a wall that looks like it's got a painted door on it. Yep.

[Byron]

Well, Or. Yeah. Or taps the paw to try to open the door. Yeah, but it'll.

[John Holmberg]

It ain't open.

[Byron]

It's not opening. El drops that creature.

[Brett Vesely]

I didn't know that was needed in this world, but apparently.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you cat's out there catching mice in the backyard and bringing them to you. Doing his job. I know, but you got mice in the backyard. Make it an indoor commentary. It's kind of. Although not anymore. Now it's just Tom. It's called. Got him.

[Byron]

Michael Phelps swims slower than a manatee.

[John Holmberg]

I would assume that those plump sea.

[Byron]

Cows, they live in the water. Phelps, his speed is 6 miles per hour. Manatee can get up to 20 miles per hour.

[John Holmberg]

It's a fish.

[Byron]

Yeah. What's got a big paddle the back.

[John Holmberg]

Were you thinking that was a close race?

[Byron]

Well, if you, you know, ever see a manatee in the wild.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but if it's, like, at its top speed, I'm assuming The ocean. Fish, mammal, whatever it is.

[Byron]

Well, they're fresh water.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Byron]

And brackish, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

They're in the oceans. They get hit by those ocean boats all the time in the Keys Atlantic.

[Byron]

No, I've only seen them in.

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't mean they don't live somewhere else.

[Dick Toledo]

I've only seen them where.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they live outside of freshwater as well.

[Byron]

They basically are.

[John Holmberg]

Otherwise they'd be in lakes.

[Byron]

Creatures they get in.

[John Holmberg]

They're both okay either way. They're faster than Michael Phelps. Than anybody who thought different as an idiot. Idiot. Like the only thing slower in the ocean than Michael Phelps is a reef or a starfish. Stuff that grows. He's not gonna be faster than a fish. Just not a thing.

[Byron]

Well, it's a mammal.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. It's in. Does it live in or out of the water?

[Byron]

Mostly in.

[John Holmberg]

Is he. So sometimes they beach. Hang around, man. Okay. I don't think that's.

[Byron]

Might get stuck every once in a while.

[John Holmberg]

That's not living, is it? That's getting stuck. That's being. That's different. Anything can get stuck. When you get stuck in water, you don't become a water animal part time. You're drowning. Yeah. There's a difference.

[Byron]

Saddam Hussein wrote a romance novel in 2000. It was called Zebeda and the King. It was about a woman who leaves her cruel husband for the king of medieval Iraq.

[John Holmberg]

I'm still sort of stuck on the whole Michael Phelps thing that we had to have a debate.

[Byron]

Anything that lives knowing that, you know, I've seen manatees a lot.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Byron]

Because they have a big manatee exhibit at the Columbus Zoo and I've never seen them. It's a big. It's pretty big enough that they could, you know, do a power lap in that film. But they don't move because they're depressed. I didn't realize that they could go up to 20 miles per hour, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

I seen cheetahs. There's their territory. I've seen cheetahs three different.

[Dick Toledo]

The three main types of manatee.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Pretty much all of the Gulf of Mexico.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

And the Caribbean.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

And so they're inland most of the time. They're on fresh water.

[John Holmberg]

They did lakes, but yeah, there's a lot of ocean manatee as well, because that outside of Florida is fairly ocean.

[Dick Toledo]

Amazonian is the one that you're looking at there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're in the. They're in the lakes. Either way, who's the moron who thought, I bet you Michael Phelps could take one of those.

[Byron]

That'd be a good challenge.

[John Holmberg]

No, it wouldn't.

[Byron]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

He's gonna lose by like a third.

[John Holmberg]

You know what?

[Byron]

All you do is just put a head of lettuce out. Let me tell you, this coming at you like.

[John Holmberg]

Let me put it in perspective for you. That isn't the dumbest man alive's perspective. If the fish had the Olympics every once in a while on the ocean, right? And occasionally the fish would be like, oof, manatees doing the hundred yard dash. One would win. Like a manatee would win the hundred yard dash. It wouldn't be fast, but he'd win it. And maybe he'd be faster than all the other manatees, but he would never look at people and say, surprisingly, those land dwellers, much faster on land than us. They talk about it, they don't talk about it. They would never bring it up because they're smarter than us. We have the arrogance to look in the ocean and go, you know, Michael Phelps, slower than a manatee. I knew that. We. We're not.

[Byron]

I thought he swam a little. I thought it'd be a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Faster than you were thinking. 20, 25 miles an hour.

[Byron]

No, not for Michael Phelps, but I thought he'd be like 10 miles per hour or something.

[John Holmberg]

You thought it would juice up, though, close to manatee's top speed? Yeah, yeah. That's stupid. It's a dumb. That's a dumb thing to think.

[Dick Toledo]

God damn it. I hate you, Brady. Because my first thought was because of last week. I wonder if they hang out with alligators.

[John Holmberg]

Right? And crocodiles. I've seen them overlap.

[Byron]

Yeah, they hang out, you know, a lot of card games.

[John Holmberg]

You cannot judge speeds you've seen in a zoo because those animals are all depressed.

[Byron]

I know, but I've also seen them in the wild, in the water, in the. Okay, you have because you've been out.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely, I'm out. You have seen them. You have seen them surfaced. I saw probably begging for food. You guys were throwing at them.

[Byron]

No, we weren't throwing any food.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody was throwing something to make them.

[Byron]

Look back 20, 30ft. Then, like, coming for sharks.

[John Holmberg]

They do.

[Byron]

They move pretty good when they get out of the way. Cuz they don't want to.

[John Holmberg]

20 miles an hour. And Michael Phelps isn't always swimming. So if you saw him in the wild. No, if you saw him in the wild, you'd be like, he doesn't look that fast in the water.

[Dick Toledo]

Had to bring that point.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And he got defensive. I'm just saying it's dumb to think that ocean animals could be beaten by human swimmers.

[Byron]

Giant lumbering dust him.

[John Holmberg]

It's impressive because the ocean is huge in scale. They're not that big.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, John, how you underestimate our stupidity and easily forget that sharks Dark week had Michael Phelps race a shark. For all the morons out there which.

[Byron]

Goes like 30 or 40 miles per hour.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter. It should have never happened. We shouldn't have the debate. A goldfish is faster than Michael Phelps. He lives in the water. He's gonna do better. You know what else he's better at? Staying underwater. We don't have that.

[Byron]

I bet you he'd beat a goldfish. I'll go Phelps somewhere.

[John Holmberg]

If the goldfish knew was in a race.

[Dick Toledo]

Manatee will outrun a shark though. I just found that out.

[John Holmberg]

You want. You want to know 12 mile an hour is a shark. You want to. Want to know which one? I know he'd lose long distance. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Over time.

[John Holmberg]

To everything.

[Byron]

I don't know, man.

[John Holmberg]

He know. I 100% know. The fact that story happened makes me want to cut your head off and hold it up.

[Byron]

John.

[John Holmberg]

And just say I've killed the. What? I've killed the world weatherman.

[Dick Toledo]

John, do you ever think about your life and realize that you're arguing with a man who has a fish fetish?

[John Holmberg]

I know. And I think I can catch him.

[Byron]

You know, with my hands. I'm sorry you weren't impressed with that fun fact.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, Here. It wasn't a fun fact. It wasn't a surprise to me. The only surprise.

[Byron]

It wasn't up to your standard.

[John Holmberg]

Not at all. Not even a little bit? No. It's a dumb man thing.

[Byron]

I didn't know you. You knew that much about manatees.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know that much about manatees, but I do know they're faster than people in the water. Just like we're faster than them on land.

[Dick Toledo]

John, let me jump on this before Brady gets there. This just in. Michael Phelps runs faster than a sea cow.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. There you go. That's my point. And if the sea Cows had their 100 yard dashboard, you'd have one out there. He's the fastest.

[Byron]

I'm going to debate that. Fastest land sea cow run 20 miles per hour.

[John Holmberg]

Not on land. You don't follow. You're not following. You're. You've been just taking nap. He said he can run faster than a sea cow. Not then. It can swim.

[Byron]

Have you seen him run?

[John Holmberg]

That's my point. Brady. Doesn't matter. I'm Gonna have you check.

[Byron]

They can run these little gems.

[John Holmberg]

I've seen them in Florida running from a little chubby man with an erection. Yeah, I believe they can get up there. You're the Jay Z of the manatee.

[Dick Toledo]

Cartoon sound effect in your head too.

[John Holmberg]

Gonna catch you with this boner. Manatee. I'm a manateeater.

[Byron]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

That's what he would.

[Byron]

He would 100% do that. Tokyo adopts a four day work week for all the government employees to encourage them to have kids. That's a pretty good deal.

[John Holmberg]

Goldfish can swim 22 miles an hour.

[Byron]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

Michael Phelps has been. Humans are better than fish in the water.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a statement.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. Well, that's. Congratulations. You took all the way to December. Tell us the dumbest thing of the year. I'm gonna go ahead and go on a limb and try to say the dumbest thing ever right now.

[Byron]

There's a thread online that was going around people suggesting jobs that are perfect for people who don't like people.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Power plant operator. Most of it's sitting in a room on a control Panel.

[John Holmberg]

Panel Sector 7G.

[Byron]

Homer Simpson, some kinds of doctors, like a pathologist or morgue doctor.

[John Holmberg]

That's a great gig. Lighthouse keepers always fascinated me. They say it's so cold though. I could do that. I could isolate it, but it's. The problem is with like dogs. Like, I need dogs. I don't know. Lighthouse would be really good place for dogs, stairs and stuff. Security guard carry them up and down steps.

[Byron]

A baker. The only con is you have to wake up really early. Commercial truck driver gets lonely on the road.

[John Holmberg]

And you gotta hand it to lighthouse operators too, because you rarely hear like, boats crash because the lighthouse guy was off his game.

[Byron]

I wonder what the population is up to on the lighthouse keepers. Like, especially here in the United States. Is it over a hundred?

[John Holmberg]

There's one in Hawaii that I would do all day in Kauai. Just stunning. And it just sits in the edge of this, like, little peninsula. Beautiful green. You know, you're sitting there in the prettiest place in the world, just flashing a light at boats.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, there's pretty much no more lighthouse keepers.

[John Holmberg]

They're out.

[Brett Vesely]

I think they're all automatic now. So. Yeah, right here. That's it.

[John Holmberg]

Huh. There's only one Sally Snowman. That's not a real person. She retired last year. She quit last December. The only lighthouse in the United States with a keeper is Boston Light and Boston Harbor Islands. Oh, man. The lighthouse has to remain staffed up until 1989, Sally Snowman was the last Coast Guard lighthouse keeper in the United States. And the first woman to hold the role. We'll leave it to a woman and ruin it for everyone else. Oh man. They're all automated now, huh? And GPS has made them obsolete. John, looks like you guys are moving to Dick Broadcasting. Cuz that's where the manatees live. And show Brady for once and for all be our show mascot. I'd be standing on that beach just going, yeah, fat ass move seal. You're not as fast as Michael Phelps. Well, currently no know. They don't know they're in a race. They're just kind of hanging around relaxing.

[Dick Toledo]

How do you get the seat outs to have urgency?

[John Holmberg]

Brady's the guy that sees Michael Phelps at a son's game sitting down. Doesn't look like. Look at him. Doesn't look that fast to me.

[Byron]

Sea Cow National Raceway.

[John Holmberg]

I can beat him. He's just sitting there.

[Byron]

Let's go with some a couple of radio videos.

[John Holmberg]

I got a ton of people just did a little googling. Thanks, Brady. Goldfish would smoke Michael Phelps. Koi fish is faster. They're all faster. They're fish.

[Byron]

During World War II, the US tried to train bats to drop bombs. It was called Project X Ray.

[John Holmberg]

How little were those bombs?

[Brett Vesely]

No kidding.

[Byron]

Unless they use grenades, fox or those fruit bats that are huge.

[John Holmberg]

I mean a bomb carrying bat is. Yeah, because I've seen the fruit bats and they're pretty good size, but they're not.

[Byron]

They could. They can handle a grenade. That's about it.

[John Holmberg]

So can I throw maybe a couple of grenades? How far does it have to go?

[Dick Toledo]

No, a grenade is pretty solid as well.

[John Holmberg]

Here, let me, let me tell you this. If you're in a situation where you need to lob a grenade, the last thing you need to do is tie it to a bat first. Just throw it yourself. It's going to. You're killing a lot of time tying it to the bat. Unless the bats are trained to pick them up. Pull the pin. That's dumb.

[Dick Toledo]

Standard fragmentation grenade weighs no more than £2.

[John Holmberg]

Still a lot for a bat to carry.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what I was thinking. I mean like body weight, right?

[John Holmberg]

Owl, maybe? An owl. An owl. I can carry about seven or eight pounds.

[Byron]

Look, I think it's a fox bat. If they. That's the only thing they could use if they're trying to do a grenade. Yeah, small bat, not gonna come close.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know what a fox bat is. I don't either. I Defer to him on that. Shouldn't you just go to like.

[Dick Toledo]

Pigeon fox bat weighs 8.1 pounds.

[Byron]

They're not even native here.

[Brett Vesely]

I think they're.

[John Holmberg]

We can import them for bomb usage, but then we're Malaysia. Malaysian fox bats. Of course. Brady, what's about the Malaysian fox bat? He can't read.

[Dick Toledo]

Do they have him out at Christy Zoo? Is that how you know that?

[Byron]

I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

I just know a lot about Malaysian bats. Big words throw me though.

[Byron]

Sacagawea.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Byron]

Sacajawea.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Hell's that.

[Byron]

Either died in 1812 when she was in her mid-20s.

[John Holmberg]

Of nowhere with that just threw a sock at your waist.

[Brett Vesely]

What the hell's that?

[John Holmberg]

I thought she was behind me. The way he kept saying it.

[Byron]

She either died in 1812 or in 1884 when she was in her 90s. Historians have proof both ways.

[John Holmberg]

No, they don't.

[Byron]

But can't disprove only one way.

[John Holmberg]

Either one story's flawed. By saying two people have proof both ways and they're different. They have evidence. They don't have proof.

[Byron]

A town called Alert and none of it. Canada is the northernmost place in the world where people live. And it's still 500 miles from the North Pole.

[Dick Toledo]

None of it is the name of the place.

[John Holmberg]

Look at the size of that Malaysian bat Brady was talking about.

[Byron]

I'm guessing he could probably carry a grenade.

[Dick Toledo]

Five foot wingspan.

[John Holmberg]

I would be more afraid of the thing than the grenade. As big as the late. Well, it's Malaysia. That Lady's only like 3:1.

[Dick Toledo]

If that's dive bombing at you though.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. No, I'm horrified.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm not worried about the grenade.

[John Holmberg]

It's a man in a batsuit. Yeah.

[Byron]

Very, very friendly.

[John Holmberg]

But the worst part is that we would import them in in to do bombing. And then they get loose and hang around here. And now we've got those all over our city. Yeah, if that's cool. That's just hanging out all cloaked up in its coat. That is a neat thing.

[Byron]

It's a dog with wings.

[Dick Toledo]

There's your standard bat.

[John Holmberg]

The amazing basic stuff you don't know and then that they're in Malaysia.

[Byron]

What?

[John Holmberg]

You don't even. You couldn't find Malaysia on a map if I gave you the word Malaysia.

[Dick Toledo]

Mid, early twenties.

[Byron]

It's near Asia.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's over there, but it's in the mall area of Malaysia.

[Byron]

Mall of Asia.

[John Holmberg]

Mall of Asia. It's the biggest place for shopping. Damn it, John. Will you leave Pop Pop alone and Stop bullying him. He's lived a long, long time and he's seen a lot of stuff. Let him believe.

[Dick Toledo]

God damn it, John. Just print out the onion every morning and hand that to him. It's more valid.

[John Holmberg]

You won't question it. Two dudes with no shirts on. I wonder if Michael Phelps beat a manatee in the water. He's pretty fast swimmer. The manatees look to be fairly stationary here while we just throw lettuce at them and such because I ain't eating it.

[Dick Toledo]

You know, all these years, I used to believe that the listeners were dumb for leaving your tempy town, like Submarine Race store. Now I believe it came from Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, fun fact, dumbass. Did you know that pigeons can fly faster than men? Not on planes. All right, shut up. It's pretty, pretty remarkable that we had people. It's not Brady's fault. It's Brady's fault for believing that it was a valid test. But for anybody to suggest that Michael Phelps was faster than a sea creature other than a starfish. Like, if you said, you know, he's faster than a starfish, I'm like, yeah, those don't move. But the minute it puts, you know, one of those things on its ass. A fin. Pretty sure a fin makes you faster than all of us. I can't name many finned things that are. That are slower than Michael Phelps unless they're injured. And even then, that's a special ocean Olympian. He'd probably still beat him anyway.

[Byron]

How fast a beaver goes.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a fin or a paddle? That's different. A fin's different than a paddle. I know, but a fin's different.

[Byron]

Manatee has.

[John Holmberg]

It has a fin. It's not so much just a mud slapping paddle.

[Byron]

Paddle. It's a big tail.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, but that's a fin in water. That's a fin. And they live in water. They don't get out and build dams with it.

[Byron]

I know, but a beaver in the. It scoots.

[John Holmberg]

How many beavers get in there? How in the world. I bet you beaver could out.

[Byron]

That's what I was saying.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sure they're amphibious, so you can give them a little bit of muskrat. I don't know, but we're talking about manatees and whatever that thing is on the back. Paddle, fin, or otherwise. Built for speed, my friend in the drink. Not saying he's the fastest drink animal, but he's faster than us. Did Michael Phelps have to put anything on and get in water and swim to prove this or we Just go to old tapes, because if we spend a penny on this.

[Byron]

No, I think they clock them in the pool.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna go full Luigi Mangione. Go over to that facility. Go. Who spent the money on the manatee? Phelps Study SS over here. Two million. Okay, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to kill you both. What? Just for the benefit of people.

[Dick Toledo]

Beavers use their tail as a rudder while swimming. They use their tails for balance on length land and when carrying heavy objects.

[John Holmberg]

Like logs or trees and patent mud.

[Dick Toledo]

And they slap their tails on the water as a signal of danger. And they store fat in their tails to survive the winter when food is scarce.

[John Holmberg]

Like Lizza in her tail. Big fat tail. I get it. All right, there you go. I hope you learned something today, because if you did, you're the dumbest person in the world. But not. Not as bad as you were.

[Byron]

I thought Phelps was faster.

[John Holmberg]

If you thought that at all in your life, just take a seat and reassess how you've lived. I could have sworn that man would out swum something in the ocean.

[Dick Toledo]

God damn it, John. It's 25 minutes. I've been searching right now, and the only thing I've found on the Google machine is a dwarf seahorse that Michael Phelps could beat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and even then, I'm not sure what that is. Is it a fish? Is it. I don't know what those things are. Those are mistakes. I think those are where sea monkeys just poured their first batch in the ocean and said this was a mistake, and they just popped up. The. The purpose of the seahorse is questionable.

[Dick Toledo]

Way to go, Brady. The one thing humans have over animals is thinking and brain power, and somehow we're losing that battle today, too.

[John Holmberg]

Now, a manatee might be able to out speed think, Brady, but that's the only one challenge. Brady and the ones who came up with that fun fact said, I used to listen to the show to escape the fury that I have when I listen to political talk. But I'm finding now that I get more furious with Brady's dumb logic stories than I do politics. Got a little flat earther there for a second, but we're out of it. It's out of control. Now.

[Dick Toledo]

Men, if you're over the age of 50, go ahead and ask Chatgpt about what you face as you age. It's Dick Toledo from Hobart's Morning sickness for game Day Men's health. The short answer you'll get is facing metabolic issues like weight gain and musc loss, as well as Hormonal changes in testosterone that can lead to decreased sexual function, plus the mental side of the equation. As you navigate these changes, head to gamedaymenshealth.com and schedule a free consultation now at one of their 12 valley locations. They'll formulate a plan to keep you in the game. And there's a game day location near you, so get started today and book that free consultation@gameday men's health.com.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cyber security, gaming, and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu mo. And don't just study tech.

[John Holmberg]

Live it. The Best of the morning sickness is on the air. Do any of you people do any actual work? The Best of H's Morning sickness. Yeah. So I watched all that. So then I turned it to another thing, my favorite BBC. And I'm flipping there and they did a story about OIC and, you know, and all the things that are coming from a lot of people losing weight. The health benefits, the health risks. They're doing this thing and I'm kind of watching and because it kept saying the one thing they didn't expect from OIC that they just can't put their finger on medically, why it's happening and all, I'm like, well, call me. I'll tell you the truth. I know what's going on. Evidently, it's caused a massive, like, libido rush. I'm like, yeah, because they're not fat and gross anymore. People have sex with them now. Yeah. My wife lost tons of weight and suddenly we're having lots of sex. Yeah. Because you're a true attracted to her and she doesn't feel like a house. That's easy. And they're like, what medical things is those? Is there anything we can extract from it to bring people with low libidos back to. Yeah, it's called a treadmill. It does the same thing.

[Byron]

It's been ruining marriages.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, and that was the one thing that they said the dangerous part was, is that two fat people that are on Ozempic, their love life gets back together, but one tends to want to, like. They're like, oh, they just have this insatiable sexual appetite. Yeah. They're looking in the mirror, they're like, why am I. Why am I giving it to this pig? I should. I look.

[Brett Vesely]

Folds out of the way and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Right, man. So it's.

[Byron]

Yes. And this person finds me attractive.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Homberg, you are officially a member of the Navajo. Well, thank you very much, aj. Why you got to get all the bigoted about it? Yeah. So the Ozempic thing evidently is causing a rise in sex with Ozempic people. And they're seeing that their belly's full of undigested food and their lack of a want for dinner has made it so they're blowing each other more. And I'm like, that's because they're not pigs. Now that's. That's the benefits of feeling good about yourself, is you want to start boning.

[Byron]

Brilliant move by Ozempic. Because it doesn't happen with Wegovy or any other generic.

[John Holmberg]

Well, so far, only Ozempic. Actually. They didn't say that. They didn't say that. Yeah. And just to be fair, if you're fat and on Wegovy, you might still want to get blown. You know, they're. They're the one lady's like, I just. I masturbate all the time. I've got this sex drive. That's incredible. What'd she look like, though? Good now. Really? Yeah. She's dropped about 83 pounds. That's all she needed to do. She went from like. She went from like 210 to 120something. But she's got Pringles tummy. They're like, they don't show them. They did. They didn't show her outside of the Spanx. She wasn't in a bikini in her second picture. It was a nice T shirt. She looked good. But underneath all that is still the extra 80 pounds of stretch.

[Brett Vesely]

They should have had plastic surgeons out there, along with Planned Parenthood and vasectomy doctors and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

That would have been a good idea.

[Byron]

So many mobile units pulled up.

[John Holmberg]

Mobile mash out in the parking lot. How much do you hate your baby that you're like, I'm going to wait until the mobile truck goes by or it's just a. A snap decision division. Like, you're like, you are at the dnc. Yeah. You are so liberal left that you're like, we're so for abortion that I. I wasn't going to get rid of this baby. When I saw the Planned Parenthood truck, I thought, I got to really show My loyalty to the left. And I'm going to get this thing sucked out of me. And graham crackers and Sprite there. Everybody's there. And for me, Planned Parenthood's got a lot of nerve. Having a mobile facility. That's pretty. It's like an ice cream truck of abortion.

[Brett Vesely]

Double Scoop can absolutely been out there handing out the plan B pills and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it's just weird to me that you would get on a bus. That's probably how you got pregnant in the first place. Climbing on a Greyhound and ended up somewhere you didn't want to be.

[Byron]

And.

[John Holmberg]

And then. And then you're. You get on a bus like, I'm here for my abortion. Yeah. Have a seat in the driver's chair. We'll get with you in a second. And you just sit on a bus and wait it out. That's creepy. It doesn't seem professional. I guess I wouldn't do dentistry on a bus, let alone flash McCoot. Have that thing breaked out the mobile.

[Byron]

Bus there and then the ice cream truck next to it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I was saying. I said it's an ice cream truck that goes by. And except for instead of this music, the ice cream truck, it's like, oh, oh, the abortion truck's rolling through, trying to get rid of this little demon inside me. Abortions half off, half off. Summer special. Hey, mom, can I have a quarter of the abortion trucks outside? Get you.

[Brady Bogan]

Get your father chocolate toasted almond bar.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, we're not gonna do that. I'll bring back a bag of something, though. Ew.

[Byron]

Does it work like the neuter mobile? Like, I'm sorry we can't get you in. We already.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's a lot a line. There's a line outside of people with their dogs. There's a line outside of crying teenagers with their uncles who did this. Why are you getting in the bus for? Are you gonna keep our love child? No, Uncle Dave, I'm not. I'm getting in the truck and I'm gonna have this thing blown out.

[Brett Vesely]

Are you gonna eat them Teddy Grahams.

[John Holmberg]

And, like, I won't even. I don't even want to travel on an RV because you travel around with your own feces and urine for miles and miles. That makes me sick to think that we have a bucket of feces and urine in the car.

[Brett Vesely]

You do it on a plane, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Just wait till Friday.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's true. They might perform abortions on the back of that flight. That would. Yeah. All right. C Group now available aboard. And don't forget, if you're in the middle chair, abortion's half off here for the half of Southwest Airlines. It's gonna make everybody normal sick. They doing abortion on our flight? Yeah. It's three hours Kansas City. You can get. You can get like nine of them in.

[Brett Vesely]

It's the only advantage of the middle seat. Get half off.

[John Holmberg]

Would you like some peanuts or graham cracker Sprite, like. No, just the peanuts. I know what those other things are for. Ah, you're right. But. Yeah, a bus that takes care of it. That might be pushing it a little bit. You can't be that proud of it. That's my thing about the abortion argument. Go ahead, but you just can't be so damn proud of it. It's not a proud moment. You know, it's. Yeah, it seems like there's like. You know, I've seen people that have climbed Camelback, less excited people. I get it. You didn't want it, but let's not make it a point of pride.

[Byron]

And Chicago is boarded up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and that's the other fun part, is the people who don't want a wall or police or put two walls around their arena and then just cops as far as the eye can see. It was pretty funny. Oh, they're all crooks, everybody. I'm not a. Don't think I'm bashing the left because I can't stand the right either. Don't get me started on the hypocrisy of either side. My rule for abortion, if I was president, would be you get one for sure. Right. It's the fool me once law of abortion. I gotcha. Shouldn't have had that happen now. You should mind your p's and q's that you've been through this and really dodge this process. So we got your name on a list, you know, and now you're still.

[Byron]

Giving the hall the. The hall passes on.

[John Holmberg]

Look, if it was rape, incest, stuff like that. But if that happens to you a couple of times, you gotta move out of the situation.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And the other thing is that once you go in for your second one, we're hitting you with a pretty hefty. Eventually, you're gonna have to keep one of them. You can't keep. You can't use it.

[Byron]

It's not on our time.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Right. That's your price. Third one's right out. There's no hat tricks on this. Like, did it again. It's like you're not Learning. And you're the worst person to have a child, so probably just force you to give it up. But you got to have this one. Like the. But if you're going. If you're going in for a triple, you're not learning. I'll give you one. And two's a stretch, but two is two's on your price tag. You. You get one free one. It's like, you know, know. It's like when you sign up for a mobile phone, you get first month's free. That's it. First abortion, we'll give it to you. That's it. I understand it's a medical procedure. We should probably have that. And I know there's people out there going, shouldn't happen at all. But let's be honest, it's gross to think that these people will do it no matter what. So let's keep it safe. Safe and rare like the old days. And then. But that second one, I'm. That my, my, my question.

[Brett Vesely]

First one's free, huh?

[John Holmberg]

First one I'll give you. Second one you got to pay for. Third one you got to have and then give up. Like, we're not gonna make you keep it, but you got to give birth to it. We can't keep sucking these out of you. So which would you rather eat at, John? The mobile abortion place or the Sushi Mex? The mobile abortion place serves healthier foods. I. I think. Yeah. The health inspector would have a harder time at the Mobile Plan Parenthood finding problems than he would at Sushi Max over there in that truck in 85th Avenue. I'm not eating that sushi mix, but I'll lick the floors of the Planned Parenthood bus before I eat at Sushi Mix. Cuz at least there's a doctor on in the house. He's nearby. Good Lord, Trevor, you're right. So. Well, you should combine the ideas abortion truck and Sushi taco truck. The secret sauce. Anyway. Yeah, you can't just can't be so excited about it. There's some people way too excited. Like the crowd was cheering so loudly at the idea of abortion. And I'm like, I get it. I get where you stand there, but can you have a little middle ground here? Don't go throwing your arm in the air like you just won the Super Bowl. We get it.

[Byron]

The outside was kind of like that. What was that? Jeremy Pivens movie? Like Politically Incorrect or.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, pcu.

[Byron]

Every protesting group was out there.

[John Holmberg]

They love that stuff. Protest. I don't. I've never cared about something so much to protest. I don't. I would never. I just don't march. I'm not marching. It doesn't seem to do anything. Like, there's been an awful lot of marches and I'm not really seeing a lot of results from it. Seems like just everybody just gets pissed off. Then it's. Then the next day nobody cares. Like that whole thing back in 2020 when every day was a march. I'm not so sure anything. Nothing really came of that. They wrecked them all otherwise, I'm not real sure. Did anything change outside of just. No. I mean, other than the. They busted.

[Byron]

The mall looks nice.

[John Holmberg]

The mall looks better. They got some upgrades on insurance. Yes. Insurance money. The piano store, for whatever reason got broken into. Like they were going to steal one of those.

[Brett Vesely]

Who the hell's doing that?

[John Holmberg]

George Floyd's honor. Like, he always loved baby grands. I'm like, I don't think that's true. But he busted into the piano store. I don't really think marching works. I think, yeah, because the teachers did it and they act like that was why they got a raise, but it was because you guys stopped showing up to school. That's why you left those awful kids home with their parents. And they're like, give the teachers a little more. I can't deal with this kid anymore. But abortion seems to be aborted of a celebration. I'm thinking maybe we missed the boat on that one a little bit. It's not something to be real proud of. I got me an abortion. Good for you. I was on Southwest airlines and we were like, no, no, no.

[Byron]

Did you hear the news? We can have them.

[John Holmberg]

We can get them all day if we want. Heck, they come to us now. It's like New vision auto glass. It's at my convenience. You should have to, like, go to.

[Byron]

A place I think goes to the next level. It's their waymos pulls up in front of your house. Oh, they're here.

[John Holmberg]

What's really bad is like, I think of like, yeah, you have to order the truck. And it's not going to come up. People will start to know what it is. And if it stops at your house, you're like, oh, looks like the homburg gal got knocked up again. It's like the bus or how many is that? I don't know. Her friends doing it here because her dad will kill her if he fought. We have had. We're just housing it. Couldn't do that in the park.

[Byron]

They'll have to rewrap it. Just like when you're.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Back in the day when they'd send you stuff from a adult catalog or.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever package, but you knew what it was because of the brown paper wrapping.

[Byron]

Video gameplay store out frontier.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? Maybe it is just sushi mix. Maybe that's what that thing was. And it's just disguised as like the worst food ever. So nobody ever walks up to it to try to get mobile Mexican sushi. But deep down down in that neighborhood, everybody knows nobody's doing that. They're not gonna do that. That's a good point.

[Byron]

It'll be pest control.

[John Holmberg]

You're right. In the avenues, there's no need for an abortion truck. Those folks keep them crawling with them. There's usually a lady at her quinceanera bouncing her kid on her knee. So it's like, all right. And I'm fine with that too. I'm fine with what anybody thinks. You don't like them. I'm with you. I get your side. You want one? I get you. I'm with you too. Just don't celebrate it and don't. And the other side can't start saying, well, you should have the incest rape baby. Like that's just, you know. No, you're wrong.

[Byron]

That just.

[John Holmberg]

That's just an awful thing to make something. In that case, I'd drive the Planned Parenthood bus into rape, incest fill and say bring out the hillbilly because we got two things to do. It's got a little cage in the back. How's the rapist? You take him to jail after he has to watch the whole thing. That's gross. So that's our. That's our nation. That's what we're voting on. That's. There's all this other stuff going on in the world and we're still arguing about this one. Which makes me think it's all choreographed nonsense to make the masses talk about something that doesn't matter and they just go on stealing our money another way. Crazy. So I go right back to just saying she. That's how I feel almost every day. She. Out of control now.

[Byron]

It's Brady from hms. And I would always hear guys talk about their testosterone levels, but I didn't know much more than that. That changed when I went to the Game Day men's health clinic and found out what my testosterone level was. Game Day's on site lab was quick and easy. And I found out that I was an ideal candidate for testosterone treatment. Game Day offers other men's health solutions like HGH peptide therapy and sexual health treatments. All you have to do is visit one of the 12 game day men's health clinics in the Valley or check out gamedaymen's health.com. it's time to get back in the game.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness to talk to you about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I don't know about you guys, but knowing in my heart and head how uncertain the future is, it is daunting. Get smart, be less exposed, and go to Trajan Wealth. The team over there will make sure your future is at least certain. As far as it comes to an estate plan in case life throws you a curveball. I wandered around until I was 49 without a will and trust. And once I did it, man, oh, man, a weight left my shoulders. If you're saying in your head, boy, I need to do this, then do it. Call Trajan Wealth. 480-990-3300. Legal services are offered through Trajan Estate Law Firm, LLC. The best of homework's morning sickness. I'm 98. KUPD. There we go. Sasha Baron. Coat knows. Five more minutes. This could be his great trick on the world to get people to talk about the shit. Pass him through, he says. Finally. Did he say patch him? What are we, NASA?

[Byron]

Thanks, Radar.

[John Holmberg]

Patch him through. Patch him through. All right, Please hold. You can just see the operator shoving all those things. Patch him through. It's NASA. Well, there he is on the line there. Sacha, Baron Cohen is on the line with us. Are you there, sir?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

I am indeed. I'm speaking from Cannes in the south of France.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, how beautiful. Well, we're in Phoenix, and we are. Yes, we are not in as beautiful a place as you.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well, I remember the last time I was in. You're in Phoenix?

[John Holmberg]

Mm.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well, the last time I was there, actually, I went to Tucson and I sang this song called Throw the Jew down the well.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I remember that. I was in Borat.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Yeah, that was it. It was Borat.

[John Holmberg]

It was Throw the Jew down the.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well so my country can be free.

[John Holmberg]

We have.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

I guess they take everybody money.

[John Holmberg]

I will never give it back. Something like that.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

That was the last time I was in Tucson.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I was in the crowd that night.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Yeah, of course you sang along.

[John Holmberg]

At least I was the only one going. Yeah, toss them, man. It would have been awesome. So we do have a beef with you. First off, you very rarely go on tv not in character, but for Rachel, of course. You're Sacha Baron Cohen. We feel that you're basically saying radio is not worth your time. Insult, insult.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Quite the opposite.

[John Holmberg]

You're getting the real me.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

You're getting the real me.

[John Holmberg]

But does that.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Listen, I'll give you this. I'll come. I give you my word to come back on in character if you have me.

[John Holmberg]

Of course we'll have you. That fills more time for us. That's less us. That's always good.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

All right, great.

[John Holmberg]

Perfect. There you go. Now tell us about the dictator. I want to know about that real quick. Quick.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Okay, so basically, it's opening today, and it's basically the story of this kind of North African dictator who gets down and out in New York and ends up working in a kind of vegan health food store in Brooklyn. So if you can imagine kind of Colonel Gaddafi in a kind of vegan health food store, that's kind of the.

[John Holmberg]

Basis, actually, because I was reading that there was a book that Saddam Hussein had written that was like a love story about his own life, and that there were parts that. Have you read that book? And kind of based. Little pieces.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

No, you know what? We released that statement. It was a total mislead because.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, see, I had no idea if that was real or not.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well, at the time, you know, the movie, the kind of character was kind of inspired by Colonel Gaddafi. And when we wrote this, Colonel Gaddafi was alive, and we were scared that Colonel Gaddafi would try and, you know, shut the movie down. And I'd actually met up with this guy I know, who's very senior in one of the Arab governments. And I said, you know, you know, I go, listen, I'm going to make a movie inspired by Gaddafi. Is Gaddafi still dangerous? And the guy goes, yes, he tried to kill my father last year. And so, you know, as a result of that, you know, he was still killing a lot of people. And we thought, okay, we don't want, you know, like, terrorists blowing up the set or anything. Let's. We sent out a mislead about Saddam Hussein.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, all right. So smart. Very smart. Because you were trying to get off the trail of Gaddafi, so he doesn't try to kill anyone.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Yeah, but then. But then Colonel Gaddafi got killed. I mean, it was perfect. That was the weird thing. Yeah, we were writing all this stuff, and then, you know, world events kept on changing then, like, you know, we had this joke about. We had a bunch of jokes about Osama bin Laden, and, you know, he got killed. And we were. We were. We were like the only guys in the world who were sad. We were like, that was a great bit, you know, you've ruined.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks a lot, SEAL Team Six.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Yeah, thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Couldn't you have waited a year? Come on, what was the joke?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well, you know, we had a joke that basically we had that Osama bin Laden was actually hiding in the palace in. And like. And that he's the worst ever house guest. You know, I go to the toilet and he has left a mess. If you want to see the real meaning of terrorism, go to the toilet. After Osaka, and he's always putting the wrong DVDs in the wrong cases. I go to watch Batman Returns and he's put in Jumanji.

[John Holmberg]

Have you ever seen Jumanji? Wtf.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

What the.

[John Holmberg]

See, why did he have to die? He brought so much joy. Bring him back.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

I know he did. Well, listen, we've got a little twist. We've got a little twist. We've kind of. We've saved a bit of that.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Speaking of twists, you're a Hollywood insider, right? Right.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well, I don't know about that.

[John Holmberg]

I think you are. I think you're an honest guy, too. What about this Travolta thing? Anybody else, you know, doing that?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

I'm not sure.

[John Holmberg]

What.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

What is it? I have. I'm here in can. What's been going on with Travolta.

[John Holmberg]

He's got these massage therapists all over the United States now coming up suing him. Well, there's five who've said it that say that he aims his. Like during a massage. He gets a hard on and aims his butthole at them. And.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well, I don't know. When I massaged him, he was just totally flaccid.

[John Holmberg]

Did he ever aim his butthole, though?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Yeah, obviously the butthole, but not the, you know, just. He was totally relaxed. I couldn't get, you know, which personally I take as a great insult.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

Were you in character or you. What is it?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

What am I. What am I unattractive?

[John Holmberg]

Why are you not hard yet? Yeah. So.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well, listen.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead. Yeah.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

I mean, listen, maybe I'll sue him.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe I'll say, yeah, you should get in on that. And now you've aimed your butthole at someone obviously in the past. Right. For pleasure.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

I have. I mean, I've been in the position of. In Bullat, I had somebody's butthole in my face. And then I managed at the MTV Awards to have my butthole in Eminem space. So I've had it kind of both ways now. Now I've had two 269s are kind of 138.

[John Holmberg]

No. Now, the. The two things that I've. The Eminem thing was he was. He was not in on that. He was in on that. What's the reveal on that?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

I can reveal that Eminem was in on it. It was a kind of very awkward phone call because you have to. It's not easy to get hold of Eminem and he's got his manager on the phone. And, you know, and basically I called him up and I said, listen, hi, I'm a big fan. I'm doing the MTV Awards. And I've got one question. Can I stick my balls and ass in your face? And there's like a 20 second silence on the phone. You know, him and his management team. And then just suddenly he asked, will you be wearing a G string? And I said, yes. He goes, I'll do it.

[John Holmberg]

Nice. Now, so that was the one thing. Now, originally, had he said, well, you'd be wearing nothing, would you have still done it?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well, he wouldn't have agreed. I mean, it was a kind of complicated stunt because I had to drop 30ft from the air and, you know, land in his face. But, I mean, you know, the other stuff is all. No one's in on it. I mean, Ryan Seacrest at the Oscars was not in on it.

[Byron]

And we heard you intended it for Clooney.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

No, that's not true. I think Seacrest has been, you know, he's been swinging. You know, I kind of thought. I thought it would be too mean if I did it on Clooney.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, People like Clooney. People love Clooney. People want Ryan Seacrest covered in death.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Yeah. I mean, also, listen, it's Clooney's night. He's been nominated. I mean, Seacrest is just there kind of, you know, interviewing people. And, you know, after the event, I bought him a new identical jacket, you know, with a little label inside.

[John Holmberg]

It's. Yeah. Totally unnecessary. What a nice guy.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Totally unnecessary. I didn't get any thank you. I mean, you didn't even.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. Didn't even thank me.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

But. Yeah, but it was kind of a weird situation. Cause the, you know, the academy banned me from the Oscars. And the head of the academy called out my agent and said, if he turns up within half a mile of the OSCARS, I have 250 FBI agents who are undercover, and he will be arrested.

[John Holmberg]

What if the dictator wins an Oscar? Yeah. What are they gonna do next? Exactly.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well, that was it. I mean, I was in a movie where, you know, that movie I was turning up for. Was nominated for 10 Oscars.

[John Holmberg]

You were in Hugo. You were in a Hugo? Yeah, I was in Hugo.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

And he was. Yeah, it was kind of bizarre.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you weren't allowed in. Now, are you the only person that is not being accused of communism that hasn't been allowed in the Oscars?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Yeah. I don't know if they've ever had somebody who's been nominated actually barred. I mean, when we got there as well, the police surrounded the limo and we had like, the urn of Kim Jong Il was ashes there. And the cop on his clipboard had a picture of me as the dictator. And he said, listen, I'm gonna have to search your car.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

He goes, I'll have to search your car because I believe we've been led to believe that you have live ammunition in there.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

And you're bringing in guns. Yeah. And so I didn't want him to search the car because I had the urn there with the Kim Jong. It was ashes. So we had these kind of three virgin guards in there, three sort of attractive women. And I said, okay, you know, because this dictator that I'm playing, he goes everywhere with, you know, 25 virgin gods. Yeah, I check their virginity every night with the head off my penis.

[John Holmberg]

But.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

And so I said, you know, sure. You know, you can strip search me and strip search the girls if you want.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

And the cop got really embarrassed and decided kind of not to search the car as a result. And we managed to smuggle the earning.

[Byron]

Now, I got a question for you. You had the urn, and they're probably not Kim Jong Ils. Whose ashes were they?

[John Holmberg]

Was it just.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

They were one of the massage therapists.

[John Holmberg]

They finally got rid of that guy. Good, good. No more bad news about buttholes. That's what I'm saying. That's my dream world. So, Isla Fisher. Things going well there, or do I still have hope?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well, you know, we've been together 10 years, but.

[John Holmberg]

You tired of her yet?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

You know, it's. It's hard to be tired of her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can imagine. Is she sick of you? What kind of shenanigans you get around with her does she get. Does she go for all the crap or. Or is she like.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well, you know, the thing is, you know, I'll come back from a day at work and she'll go, what did you do today, honey? And, you know, I'll say, well, you know, I was in a cage match. I had, you know, 800 rednecks try to kill me. And then I got arrested. And she'll go, all right. Okay, you want to go to sleep? You know, so does she think you're funny?

[John Holmberg]

Because most wives with a funny husband are kind of think they're funny, but after a while they're like, I'm sick of this guy.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Yeah. You know, listen, she's hilarious. And we try to keep the work out of the house.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Which is good. Well, there you go. It's awesome. And it's. You know what? I'm glad you weren't the dictator. Sacha Baron Cohen. It's much better this way. We get to know you.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Really? Thank you very much.

[John Holmberg]

What about you? Should we know that no one knows about Sacha Baron Cohen? What's a little secret about it?

[Byron]

Are you a big sports fan?

[John Holmberg]

Who cares about that? Give me something good. What?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

What can I tell you? I have chickens.

[John Holmberg]

You do have chickens?

[Byron]

What kind?

[John Holmberg]

For what reason?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

They are called bantam hens. And to have their eggs. I have fresh eggs every morning.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. So you have your own little chicken thing going on. Do you have people?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

That's it. Not that interesting. But that's. That's my little secret.

[John Holmberg]

But something I would have never guessed.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Exactly. Me as a chicken farmer.

[John Holmberg]

You out there. Now it's the dictator. Yeah.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

You've always got to have a second profession in case the movie business falls down.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. But as a method actor going out there as the dictator had to kind of freak the chickens out now and again.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, they.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

You know what? Chickens actually respond very well to dictatorships.

[John Holmberg]

Is that true?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

The whole pecking order thing was kind.

[John Holmberg]

Of originated, you know, they were kind of the original dictator. Kind of. Yeah, exactly. The whole hen thing. Well, there you go. Well, the movie is out today. Why a Tuesday release? That's weird. It is.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Well, I think there was this little movie. There's actually. It's actually being released at midnight Tuesday night.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

So it's a Wednesday release, I think, because there's this little movie called the Avengers came out, and we decided to move a little bit. A little bit further away from that.

[John Holmberg]

Just stay away from the Avengers. So you're afraid of the Avengers? Is what you say.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Terrified.

[John Holmberg]

Now, will there be an.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Why wouldn't I be?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Is the biggest movie of all time.

[John Holmberg]

Now you will.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

But what I would say is, you know. You know, I've been editing the movie the last seven months, and we play it out every week in front of a different crowd of 500 people. And the loft have been as big as anything I've seen in Bora or any work that I've done beforehand. So. So try and see it when there is packed theater. So I would recommend going early.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, early and often Borat, does he make a return ever?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

You know what? I miss Borat.

[John Holmberg]

I miss Borat.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

When I was playing Borat, you know, I grew my own moustache. And I never, like, used deodorant because we always had to, you know, I wanted to convince people that I was the real guy. So for six months, I'd be. You know, I'd be stinking and walking around with the moustache. So it was not easy.

[John Holmberg]

Did you really deuce in the bag at that southern lady's house, Tom?

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

You know, that was not actually mine, but that was my costume designer.

[John Holmberg]

He.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

I said, you know, because we went around the team, there were like five of us in the team. And I just go, all right, someone's gonna have to drop one.

[John Holmberg]

So it's real human poop. Yeah.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

I said, who's gonna do well, you know, you're in a real life situation, so if you're doing anything that's not real, people are going to figure it out.

[John Holmberg]

True.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

So I said, someone's gonna have to drop it. And he said, I'll do it.

[John Holmberg]

It.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

And he.

[Byron]

Not only that.

[John Holmberg]

Bag it.

[Byron]

Let's take some bagging.

[John Holmberg]

It's not putting it in the bag. That's a. That's tough to do. Well, there you go. Sasha Baron Cohen.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

You know, he actually received a credit on the movie. He was Borat's feces provided by.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna go back and watch it. I'm definitely gonna look for that. That's awesome. There you go. Sasha Baron Cohen. Good luck. The dictator. We're getting the. We're getting the high sign. We've. We've drug over, which is our goal to keep you later and later.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Great, Great.

[John Holmberg]

Perfect. There.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you, man. Well, good luck to you. Thank you very much.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Pleasure to be on.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you so much, sir. We'll see you. There you go. Sasha Baron Cohen, everybody. The dictator. It's out of control Now.

[Brett Vesely]

It's Brett Vesely for Game Day Men's Health. Well, as a lot of you guys know, I had a ton of personal stuff to deal with lately, which means I wasn't even thinking about taking care of myself. Game Day Men's Health is the largest men's health clinic in the valley with 12 convenient locations. They know what us guys are going through and can get you on a game plan of your own. They specialize in TRT treatment and they even offer other men's health solutions like HGH peptide treatment, medical weight loss and sexual health treatments. Check them out [e-mail] it's time to start taking care of yourself. And for guys, there's no better place to start than gameday Men's Health.

[Byron]

Trajan wealth has made retirement planning simple. It's Brady from HMS and it's one of the many reasons that I'm a client with Trajan Wealth. Call Trajan wealth, schedule a complimentary consultation at 480-378-0700 or check out trajanwealth.comt r a j a n wealth. It's time to put your retirement plan together. Give Trades and Wealth a call to ensure you're making the right financial moves for your future. Trajan wealth, your local trusted financial fiduciary advisory services through Trajan Wealth LLC. SEC registered investment advisor client paid advertisement additional [e-mail] here's another best of rerun.

[John Holmberg]

From the Morning Sickness this segment brought.

[Brett Vesely]

To you guys by MMP Guns on 12th street in Indian School. Inside a moment.

[John Holmberg]

Money Pawn Now.

[Brett Vesely]

MMP Guns is your firearms expert. Whether you look for a new firearm for yourself, for your girlfriend, your wife, you want to build one, you need accessories, you need ammo. If they don't got it, they'll get it. It's MMP Guns over on 12th street in Indian School. Check them out [e-mail] let's go with this one.

[John Holmberg]

Dear Brady, My girlfriend uses baby talk during the love making and I hate. I hate it. We've been dating for a little less than a year, tolerated it and I finally told her I don't like it. But now she thinks I hate sex with her, which I don't. Just stop with the baby talk. So we went out this weekend. Haven't done it for a couple weeks just because it was awkward. We drank, we're having a great time, get back to the house. We get it on and she starts doing it again. And then afterwards she realized she was talking baby talk. And I'm not talking a bit, little, little bit. I'm talking a lot. And she started crying. She says she knows she ruined everything. I felt really bad because it is something she sort of enjoys. Should I get used to this and enjoy the ride or move on knowing that this issue is not going anywhere? Kevin I bet she's hot. She must be.

[Byron]

She's gotta be I kind of look at it this way, that. Well, how bad is it between. No top talk.

[John Holmberg]

That's Nathan Sutherland stuff.

[Byron]

Exactly. Zombie or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's the talking dream.

[Byron]

But there's ways. I think you could probably work the talking thing out to modify it.

[John Holmberg]

Baby talk to me is a strange one too. Like, that's weird. Do it back to it.

[Byron]

I've never done it.

[Brett Vesely]

I would hope not.

[Byron]

Let me finish this.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. I got baby.

[Byron]

Where I swear with this is. There are sex therapists.

[John Holmberg]

Mean, like sucky, sucky, daddy, like, bitty. There are services.

[Byron]

Sex therapist.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that help you work.

[Byron]

Help couples work through stuff or enhance.

[John Holmberg]

But doesn't it. Doesn't it seem just, you know, if you said to me, all right, I'm enjoying everything, but we need to see a therapist, it kind of is ruined at that point. If you're like. If you're saying it's so bad, we need someone to fix it. At this point, it's just like, will you stop with the baby talk? I can't. You can too. And if you tell her she needs a therapist, then what you're saying is, I don't enjoy this at all and I need this to be revamped. Instead of just saying, can you just kind of stop? Like, if somebody starts pulling on your ear the whole time you're having sex, like, knock it off.

[Byron]

Either way, they're at that point.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Byron]

He said he told her to knock it off and it stopped the problem. You're so why. You know, the only way it works on that side of it, on the, you know, like, sex therapist is like anything. Any therapist, you both have to be. You want to be there. If one says no, it's over then.

[John Holmberg]

But I mean, he just made her uncomfortable by saying, I don't like the baby talk. So she pulled back for a couple of weeks. He banged her again, and she started baby talking again. So it's just how she does it.

[Brett Vesely]

She's hot with no self confidence. And if you take her to a therapist.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Brett Vesely]

It's. I think it's of kind.

[John Holmberg]

That's kind of what I was saying. If you told her one thing you didn't like, and she shut down for two weeks.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then went right back to it when you did it again. Brett's right. She's like, probably like this. Look at me. This works like it. You should have no complaints. And one complaint has made her feel self conscious. So I think a therapist would put her off the. She's leaving.

[Byron]

So I. I mean, I Don't have a. I don't know where to tell.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm really an anxious.

[John Holmberg]

Back to her do message go. I thought we like that.

[Byron]

That would cut it off. Anyway, well, he's saying she kind of discovered it or realized it this last time.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she knew she was doing baby talk and at the end started to get like, I know I did it again, so do it back to her. And then she'll be like, this is weird. And then maybe if she's aware of how weird it is, she'll stop doing it too.

[Brett Vesely]

Or just record it and play it back for it.

[John Holmberg]

Put a baby back bonnet on and hold the teddy bear while you do her. And she'd be like, what are you doing? I was like, we're acting like babies. I thought we were acting. I thought you like this. You're a jerk. Okay, well, then you knock it off too. I'll take the bonnet off the second you stop acting like we're in a crib. That kind of thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Imagine Asian porn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, do that Asian porn noise. That's either a baby crying or an Asian climaxing. Yeah, that's a tough one. Baby talk is a tough.

[Byron]

It is a tough one. I don't know how you.

[John Holmberg]

Because she's into that for herself. Like, she thinks daddy like you. I don't like the word daddy. I don't get that either. Like, some dudes are into it. Good on you. You call me daddy. I think of Dan the minute my dad's like, once dad comes. Like, Dan pops, my. How you doing, son? Like, Jesus Christ, not you. You shouldn't be here. I don't like daddy. I don't like mama. I don't like any of that stuff. I even find it weird when parents. I know numerous daddy and mamas.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Are you a daddy mama guy?

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't like.

[Byron]

Only if I say something to Kirby. Go check with your what? Or go check with your mama.

[John Holmberg]

Katie. Not talking about that right now. When I said, are you. No, no, no. I said are you a daddy mama guy in this context. Don't follow that up with. Only with Kirby. To. It's a dart to the heart before you start explaining the rest of that. Did you feel it? It hurt.

[Brett Vesely]

This goes back to the smell of my fingers.

[John Holmberg]

Are you a daddy mama? Oh, only with Kirby. Oh, my heart's coming down my throat.

[Byron]

I refer to Ronnie, right? As your mother or your mom.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But don't. We're not talking about that right now. I understand that Kirby's mother is Ronnie. That's why I don't like using those words during sex with Ronnie. Like calling her mom. You don't like calling me daddy. It's weird. Yeah, the baby sex talk is a weird thing. It can get strange. But by the way, this guy says baby sex talk. Brady is the square Friday. I think we've already established that. That's probably a thing. Write that down. Papa likey. Dad.

[Brady Bogan]

Baby needs sake.

[Byron]

That would be disturbing.

[John Holmberg]

That's baby talk. You like he lickies like, that's baby talk. If you've ever had a girl baby talk. It is weird if you don't like baby talking. I don't. No.

[Byron]

Yeah. I've never experienced that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's weird. It's. It's a one and done. If you stuck through it the first time and you've allowed it to go on. You said you dated her for a year. This is your fault. You gotta nip that in the bud immediately.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, even when they do it on, like, Facebook. Oh, daddy's coming to take me to dinner tonight.

[John Holmberg]

Don't like it. Mimi needs to make me milkies. Like, no, don't. Don't do that. Stop. I'm hungry. Go feed me. Don't do that. I creep out thinking you're an infant. Why would that turn me on? I'm a man. That's other. This next email starts. So I said that. Yeah. You just got to tell her enough of the baby talk. And I mean it this time. There's no therapy necessary for that. It's like, it's baby talker. I'm out.

[Byron]

Yeah. You choose my, you know, feeling on that. Sometimes that's something. You're on a different page and like. Well, that was with someone else you're talking.

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't bother me.

[Byron]

That. That kind of bothers me. I'm like, I don't like that.

[Brett Vesely]

By the way.

[John Holmberg]

Everything taught you that but brain.

[Byron]

Or you did that with. Let's.

[John Holmberg]

Let's figure our every single thing you like sexually. She worked out with another dude.

[Byron]

That's okay.

[John Holmberg]

That's.

[Byron]

That's. As long as it's good. But the baby talk.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever. Dude.

[Byron]

That did that.

[John Holmberg]

When she does not like when she does the clinch, spin and spit. Like, I don't care where you got that one. That's.

[Byron]

That's good, coach.

[John Holmberg]

But things. You don't like it. Kean, if she worked. If she workshopped some stuff with Kea and you're not a fan of that. That's what it was like when she says, get that big black. I'M like, you can't. You're not.

[Byron]

Something about the baby, but it bothers me.

[John Holmberg]

That makes you think of the other guy. Yeah. Right. Okay, I see. Yeah. When she does the hello, the circle of life. She lion kingshu. You're out. Because that's. She's thinking of the other guy. Yeah. Baby talk's a weird one. Don't do it, ladies. If you're. Stop it. And if you're a guy and you're into it, there's something not normal area. Dear Bray, I wrote a while back about a girl at work who wore a wedding ring but was not married. And if I had a chance to be with her, I would give it a try. I wondered what you guys thought and I did not heed your advice to leave her alone. We hung out and we did get together briefly. Now she tells me that she made a life changing decision about four or five months ago, roughly the time we ended up having sex. I did get her a plan B when she asked, which means Brady, he surprised himself.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you see his kids writing in.

[John Holmberg]

A little too quick? Oops. Goofy. So we got her the plan B because she said three days after they were sexually active. It says three days after we got together. I gave her the plan B. She told me goodbye via a text. I left my job and moved. She did state in another text that the other person had moved on and out of the area. As far as I know, I'm the only one that did both. So that's me. Moved on and moved away from the area. I'm the one she's about talking, talking about. I'm hearing she's pregnant, but she hasn't said anything to me about who the father may be. Could be a number of guys, who knows? I just don't know if I'm one of them. But she's describing me when she talks about it online. How do I find out whether or not I'm the father? Do I ask her? What would Brady do? Thanks, Jay.

[Byron]

I wait for the doorbell to ring, the phone to go. Yeah, I mean, you dodged a matter of time if it's you. Oh, you'll find out.

[John Holmberg]

You'll know.

[Byron]

You'll get contact and you'll get back pay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, dodge this for as long as you can. Dodge it. Change your DNA. Go to a scientist immediately. He's probably one of those guys. It's like, I want to know if there's a child in the world that's mine. I want to know if it's mine. And that's Where I part ways with you sir, that's where my brain goes a different direction. If she's not telling you it's your yours she has no interest in coming back.

[Byron]

How does that work?

[John Holmberg]

Does that.

[Byron]

Trying to remember is it back pay like if you never knew the whole time and then years later they contacted you said all right now you owe me money that I spent on the kid.

[John Holmberg]

I think there's ways to get back pay to get a little chunk like you owe this amount. Not all of it but you'll get some or you can you're going to have to start paying right away. Yeah, it might be retroactive if the kids gets like a year and a half old you gotta kick in for.

[Byron]

The situations too that they contact the father or whatever and yeah he's doing it and he gets you're gonna have to send 1100 bucks a month for the kid.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta help out.

[Byron]

They don't do that.

[John Holmberg]

Right. I'm not interested in that. Be wise friends. That plan B pill should have been enough.

[Byron]

All I can say is we won't warned him early.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah we told him not to do it. You didn't see this is a perfect example of what would Brady do? Brady said ah I wouldn't one I.

[Byron]

Don'T think she's interested if she's wearing a wedding band that's basically say staying.

[John Holmberg]

Away kinda or is it or is she nuts?

[Brett Vesely]

Well that's just it. She's saying she's a lunatic right up front.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. I'm not married but I wear this like but I'll still go out with.

[Byron]

You like you're and he went for the craze.

[John Holmberg]

She must be be hot but now she's pregnant so she's useless.

[Brett Vesely]

Send pre pregnant pictures of D Toledo.

[John Holmberg]

We want to see what you let's see what you fell for. It was worth it Lunary. So did you ask for a DNA test I would maybe ask do I have anything to worry about Might be a question I'd ask is there something I need to worry about because I'm a stand up guy. If I did this I'll definitely kick him but I don't want to be surprised. Surprised. I think that's a decent email to send her and if she says no you have nothing to worry about. Save it. Yeah, still maybe yours science might change that but the like she can't come back and say he's been dead beaten around like no I asked she said no so save that but yeah definitely contact her and say hey seeing you're pregnant. Not sure the timeline. Just making sure. Is there anything I need to worry about? As far as responsibility goes, that's the responsible thing to do. I mean, deep down we all would like you to run for your lives and dodge it. But if you're worried about it, find out before the bills come. It's not like 1950 anymore where you can just deny it all day long. 46 years later, they can find out now.

[Byron]

Uncle Bus. Rest in peace.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Your uncle found out his kids aren't his, right? Well, the kids.

[Byron]

He had a, A. He had a Schwarzenegger a love child with the cleaning lady years ago. And she just basically went on and raised the kid. And then later the daughter, after she passed away found out that. I want to find out my biological dad.

[John Holmberg]

What was the ones that found out none of it was right.

[Byron]

Is that Uncle Jack?

[John Holmberg]

Uncle Jack. Oh yeah, Uncle Jack. We know about Uncle Jack.

[Byron]

That Joanne got pregnant by the daughter Doctor. By the doctor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That was the gay uncle. Pretty twice fell asleep with the landscaper.

[Byron]

But I, I went over that with my mom again. He's like, no, he was not gay.

[John Holmberg]

He was gay. Your mom is not the. The source for that. She's. Of course she's gonna say he was not gay. She wouldn't admit that that happened at any point in her life.

[Byron]

Not gay. Bipolar. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure.

[Byron]

That.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't mean you can't be gay. And by the way, she, she goes.

[Byron]

Not that I would. She goes, I mean, you know, growing up the whole time from college on.

[John Holmberg]

Knowing Jack, knowing what Jack presented the.

[Byron]

Women that they, you know. And yes, it could be an all a front. Of course it was talking to some of the girls that he went out with then. It was a great front. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

That's what gay people did back then.

[Byron]

He would be more by than anything.

[John Holmberg]

He would be closeted and scared to say so.

[Byron]

There's.

[John Holmberg]

There were. That was the generation. He wasn't though. It was a generation. A generation of guys who tried to put on a show because they were ashamed of how gay they were. But his wife wasn't having sex with him clearly because she went off and had babies with the doctor. Two, your mom is not the source. And by the way, one of the symptoms of. Or bipolar one. I don't know why I read about all that. Bipolar one is just can't control yourself sexually. A lot of the times you're just nuts sexually. And if you're gonna go after your bad habits and bad decisions.

[Byron]

And that was her guess, too, because he was never really diagnosed with any. Just.

[John Holmberg]

She just threw him bipolar on there. But the gay thing, even though she. Come on, your mom's not gonna say he's gay. So that generation, that's an abomination. Plus, he had a girlfriend. How can you do both? They don't understand that Uncle Jack was gay. The faster you start getting that in your head, things start making sense.

[Byron]

Well, it's not even getting out ahead. It's just like, you know, it just doesn't fit the.

[John Holmberg]

How fit in what way? Every time you describe this, it gets gayer and gayer. He had.

[Byron]

He could have been in denial his whole life.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right.

[Byron]

Yeah, because he kept going after women.

[John Holmberg]

The beard, beards, to convince all the people like Bunny in his life that he's not well.

[Byron]

But he didn't have to do that because he went off, you know, basically by himself and moved down to Florida.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Byron]

And started shagging Sun City already.

[John Holmberg]

At least that's what you think. He was right, because that was what the image he was projecting. Elton John pretended to be straight until 1980. He had a wife. Elton John. Freddie Mercury. Mercury in the movie about him, got married. He's gay. Uncle Jack's gay. I don't know Uncle Jack, but I know he's a homeless first one.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know if you want to read that one.

[John Holmberg]

A comment to our emailer. Yes, Said would bet money that when she got pregnant by Laquan, your listener, he knows the other guy could actually support a kid. So she's not coming for you. I believe his name was Ryan. I don't know. That's. This guy's Ryan. It's out of control now. It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness for lifechangealone.com I am so proud of myself. I just talked someone out of thinking that a 40 year home loan is a good idea. 40 years. What if I told you you can cut that loan down to around five years? Most Life Changer Loan clients do that. What if I told you you'd save about 250,000 doll interest? Most Life Changer Loan clients do that. And those are just the averages. Some people, me included, save a ton more. You got to check it out. Lifechangerloan.com it's the way it should be. There's no catch. There's no gimmick. It's simple. It's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com It's Brett and John for action.

[Brett Vesely]

Ride shop in their brand new location on the northwest corner of power Road and McDowell in Mesa.

[John Holmberg]

The new location is your east valley full line bike shop with brands like Pivot, Ibis, Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain, Giant, Norco and of course Action Rock. Ride Shop has the best wrenches in town to keep that bike on the trail or the road. Plus being so close to the Hawes trailhead. They have a huge rental fleet with gravel bikes, mountain bikes and e bikes.

[Brett Vesely]

Action Ride shop now with two locations. The brand new shop at Power and McDowell and the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern.

[John Holmberg]

Check them out at actionrideshop.com cease and desist at once. The best of homework's morning sickness. This is the big Red radio. It's time now for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. 89 for a month of training. They're keeping that special alive for a little while longer. Some gift certificates available. That was just for the first few people but it went well enough. They're going to keep doing it for you guys because they care. 25 years is what they're celebrating in 2026. So they want to give back a little bit to you guys. Pretty awesome, awesome stuff. So if you want to get involved, you still can.89 for one month. You can get that as a gift for someone else or for yourself or whatever and start learning how to be a better you while you get in great shape doing it. It's a good thing. ReactDefense.com is where you go. The price cannot be beat. Start being a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. It's the home of tactical Black Brady. Entertain me.

[Dick Toledo]

I do have to read this text to you.

[John Holmberg]

Go.

[Dick Toledo]

Quote, unquote quote are you trying to put your dick in my milk? Unquote. Another amazing phrase from hms.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Byron]

I'm going to try to work that.

[Dick Toledo]

Into conversation today, John. I'll let you know how it goes.

[John Holmberg]

Let's make it an old time saying.

[Brady Bogan]

This guy, you know, I've had trouble.

[John Holmberg]

With him for years. He's always trying to put his dick in my milk. Wait, wait, no. I want to hear it with the Italian. Brett. Brett. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, this effing guy putting his dick in my milk.

[John Holmberg]

There we go. Forget about it. That was really well delivered too. Your pause was perfect.

[Byron]

I think he's done it before.

[John Holmberg]

I think he's actually said that. Oh pone. We got some guy trying to put his dick in our milk. That's good stuff. I like that. We've all slipped and fell in the kitchen. Brady.

[Byron]

It happened.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's good stuff. Well, there you go. Yeah, you go watch Gangs of London. You especially would like. All you guys would like it. Brady, not so much. It costs. I'll just talk to the people who.

[Brett Vesely]

I thought it was a free trial.

[John Holmberg]

It is a free trial on Bogan Jr. What's the problem? What's the problem? Problem is he doesn't. He doesn't know how to cancel a subscription. It took seven days.

[Brett Vesely]

Set a reminder in your goddamn iPhone.

[John Holmberg]

After seven days, they lock you down for a lifetime of AMC Plus. And then your TV just goes every time you turn it on.

[Byron]

My jitterbug doesn't have that.

[John Holmberg]

I can't. 5.99amonth is just unreasonable. You're fine. Just put your seven day trial on and then have Kirby cancel it. Hey, old pirate. Looks like we're getting charged, baby.

[Byron]

Mine was. I could either buy it for 23.99.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Or do the feet. Free trial. Seven days. Much better. But the. It wasn't five. It was 14.99.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, a free trial doesn't cost money.

[Byron]

Yeah, I know, but I'm like, I can I get it all in in seven days? I think I can.

[John Holmberg]

I know you can. You watch Hillbilly Hand fish for like 13 hours once. You know all the bar recipes done with it today. You are a binger. You like that stuff. This guy got his dick in my milk over here and all I'm trying to do is help him get a free show. Anyway, Marcus, I'll talk to you. You seem reasonable. All right. Oh, it's so good.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm on Amazon prime right now.

[John Holmberg]

There it is. Look.

[Dick Toledo]

There's a big banner.

[Byron]

Watched it.

[John Holmberg]

Why didn't you? We're struggling.

[Dick Toledo]

It's 99.

[John Holmberg]

A month after your seven day free trial. After your trial, Brady. You're worried you got $9.

[Brett Vesely]

We didn't know.

[Byron]

I just didn't.

[John Holmberg]

So let me ask you this. It's 10 Apple episodes to Gangs of London, right? Yeah. 10 episodes. Even if you screw up. 90 cents and go. Yeah, and go. 8th day and go. Ah. 90 cents an episode for a great show and then you cancel that month. You spent less than you used to at blockbuster in the 90s.

[Byron]

That's a little steep. 90 cents.

[John Holmberg]

Well, then you shouldn't have a TV. Good Lord, man. What's happened to you? He only does it for friendship. You know, I have this problem with my mom, now remember, you know that day you crossed the line where you realize, my mom. How am I still alive if this is the same woman that raised me? What's going on? My mom's wacky. My mom putting pictures in the electric frame, the. You know, the computerized digital frame. I'm like, what are you doing? Well, it's just a frame. It's broken. I'm like, no, it's not. You didn't do the thing. Well, I don't need it. I just like looking at one. Anyway, my mom's digital frame is still in the box. Yeah, at least that wouldn't be. My mom took it out. Only because I opened it for her. What is it like? It's a digital. Look what it does. And I put the thing in it. Pictures. I loaded pictures, scrolled them. Next time I'm there, there's one bent picture just shoved in the thing. And I'm like, what's this? I just like that picture. Well, you can put it in there. It'll show. Yeah, but I only like to look at one. Where's the card that was in it? Well, I tried to fix. Fix what? What was broken about it? Well, I tried to get it out, and then it's gone. I think you lost it, Brady. That's your present. And now that's you.

[Dick Toledo]

Also, I'm immune to Covid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, my mom's immune to Covid. 71, breast cancer survivor. I don't need that shot. I had it last February. Oh, this was her logic. And I'm not kidding. This is the exact. My. A woman at my work had it last February, and then I was around her the whole time, and I didn't even catch it. And then later, turned out she had the flu, and I didn't catch that. I'm like. So she never had to Covid? Well, no, but we. We were around it. You're around her flu? Yeah, but it was in the time of COVID so that makes sense. I. I have the antibodies, and then her and my sister are sucking down that lamb oil or whatever it is they've cured. Covet. They just. And again, that logic. You've got me off on a thing now, Mom. What do you. Well, this oil I use makes you immune to Covid. I'm like, well, then fly to Sweden. Get your Nobel prize. You cured it with this potion. Yeah, but they don't want you to know about that.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

Who?

[John Holmberg]

You know, big medicine, like, big medicine doesn't want you to know about this. No. And where did you get Yours Sprouts.

[Brett Vesely]

So sprouts is the cure all.

[John Holmberg]

Sprouts has the cure all that no one wants you to know about, but it's there. So now I'm talking to Brady, and I'm like, wait a second. What are we struggling with this trial for?

[Byron]

You can get the oil for seven days for free.

[John Holmberg]

Still too much back in the day when tigers used to put their dicks in milk. It's the old. The old Korean parable. Anyway, Eddie, sorry I went off on that, but I'm struggling with you and your free trial nonsense. Stop it. Just go watch the show, and if it costs you nine bucks, I'll reimburse you the first month. It's free no matter what. How about that? In fact, Brady, here's $9 now for when you do mess this up.

[Byron]

Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

That's at least 37 days, right?

[John Holmberg]

You got it. How do you have singles? These are. These are my singles. Here's a. There's a lot of zeros after your singles. I don't have any singles. That would be embarrassing.

[Byron]

Go halves these four months.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Settle down about breaking it down there. You got a free five dollars and a free trial. This is. This is five bucks in your pocket.

[Byron]

Thanks, man.

[John Holmberg]

Now quit complaining about getting locked into subscriptions. You'll see him at the vending machine in two minutes. Yeah, I heard homework said that chicken salad's pretty good. Anyway, now watch it. Starting today, you especially are gonna love it. Marcus will like it second, then Brett. I don't know if Toledo will follow. Somebody says you've worked with Toledo how long and you're just now finding this out? I wonder. That would be. That would be a revelation. It's like that Colton Underwood from the Bachelor. I know nobody's paying attention to the Bachelor, but he was a gay bachelor. Yeah, like he was a contestant. Well, he was a contestant and then he was the Bachelor and now he's super gay, and everybody's all, oh, and that's what.

[Byron]

That's how much that show messed him up.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, Brady, that's telling. Bigoted, but telling. Turned him into one of them twinks.

[Byron]

Look what happened.

[John Holmberg]

One of God's failures.

[Byron]

You know, guys on a twinkie box now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, he's. But we're never going to see a straight, white, male bachelor again. Those days are over. Now it's going to be Gay Bachelor. I will watch Gay Bachelor because I'm curious. Curious what the ratings will be like. I think America soundly rejects Gay Bachelor because no one can relate to it.

[Brett Vesely]

But nobody's gonna say it out loud.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The ratings will be short, and I don't think anybody's gonna do it because it's. You just can't relate to it. Like, the majority of people are still heterosexual. So I think people who can relate to her watch. But it's really.

[Byron]

Bravo.

[John Holmberg]

It's narrow casting. Exactly. Exactly. Right. It's just narrow casting your audience down to like, all right, it might already.

[Byron]

Be a pilot out there. It's been being shot.

[John Holmberg]

Because if you don't like Gay Bachelor, it won't be because the. The show's bad. It's cuz you're a bigot. So that's. So no one will say, I'm just not watching it. It was cuz you're gay. Like, that's. It's cuz now it's a social movement rather than just, ah, I don't like the Bachelor. There's been years I'm like, I don't like the Bachelorette. So it's not interesting. This last one, I didn't like the Bachelor. I thought that racist girl they ended up picking and then dumping at the end was adorable. But at the. In the end of the day, it.

[Byron]

Was kind of a bachelor's show would be Gays Hell Kitchen. Hell's Kitchen, you know that kind of Gay's Hell Kitchen. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How does that work? Go on pitch. Pitch. It gets me.

[Byron]

This show, it's just all gays working in the kitchen. And Gordon Ramsay, he's just going to town, you know.

[John Holmberg]

How'S it different? What's different? Just the gay.

[Byron]

Yeah, the fights, how it happened. They already.

[John Holmberg]

Add the interest of the gay part to me.

[Byron]

Sell me the gay challenges.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a mock show.

[John Holmberg]

It's a mock show.

[Byron]

The teams that get together, they're gay.

[John Holmberg]

So it's the exact same show, only everybody on it is an abhorrent homosexual.

[Byron]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

So you want it to be nightmares or what? I mean, hilarious. Should just do Hell's Kitchen because that's where they're all gonna be. That is the worst pitch I've ever heard for a show in my life. And I'd still buy it. Great stuff. Gay Hell's Kitchen. Just to get them used to it. I don't think gay people are going to hell because they don't believe in hell.

[Byron]

Male and female teams.

[John Holmberg]

Brady wants to put them in the.

[Byron]

Red team, blue team.

[John Holmberg]

We get it. We understand how Hell's Kitchen works. You're adding nothing other than just gay. Hell's Kitchen. We're trying now New approach to Hell's Kitchen. Gay Hell's Kitchen. Nothing changes. Everyone's gay. Why?

[Byron]

Great.

[John Holmberg]

Don't know. Brady's idea. Terrible idea. Get in there, homos.

[Byron]

Cook.

[John Holmberg]

You are flaming the grill isn't. What's wrong with this, you donkey. Ooh, ass. You know what I meant, you twinkle. Yeah, I don't understand your ideology.

[Byron]

And what's the difference between the gay Bachelor then?

[John Holmberg]

What's the difference between Gay Bachelor? It's a love. It's a show about competing and cooking. And well, you are just in love with food more than you consider the Hell's Kitchen to be more like the.

[Byron]

Bachelor running a tight restaurant.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta fall in love with that plate of food. The difference between gay bachelor is it's a bachelor trying to find the love of his life. Life by boning 30 other guys. Yours is just gay guys cooking, which is called porkopolis.

[Dick Toledo]

If the prize at the end of your show was the gay chef, then we'd have something.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. Thank you, Richard. Right.

[Dick Toledo]

Cuz you can have all your same stuff.

[Byron]

But there's got to be a winner. Gets a restaurant.

[John Holmberg]

It's the same show. You're just adding gay to it. It's definitely dumb. But I wouldn't be surprised if it's a show soon because we add gay to it, people. But I don't think Gay Bachelor works. I don't think people will. I. I just don't think it's relatable to most folks.

[Brett Vesely]

It could be on Bravo though.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's because it's narrow cast. So Bravo can afford to have an audience of 800,000 people. That's a success for them. Network TV. The Bachelor can't pull back 6 million people and say, oh, we'll go for a million.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. What's Fallon pulling these days?

[John Holmberg]

Fallon's dying, so. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Brady. Your gay cooking show is called Brady and Guy Fieri Cook. This guy says, I had a transvestine in the mix at our work and we didn't know about it. We used to joke about stuff in front of him all the time. That's what I. That's what ran through my head when it became official yesterday. It's like, how many times did I make terrible. Because I know we have a guy here who's gay now who I didn't know was gay. We. None of us was new for a long, long time.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe.

[John Holmberg]

I still don't know.

[Sacha Baron Cohen]

No, no.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah. That's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And.

[John Holmberg]

And you know, I. I know we made what? Yeah, we made all. So, yeah, you're just now finding out Brady's. Brady's gay kitchen. But I sit and I actually. I told him, like, hey, if I ever said anything that made you feel really weird, like we were making really. We joke about everything. But I didn't if it was offensive. And he's like, no, I'm totally fine with it. I was in on the jokes. I was doing them. He's like, I just. I hadn't come to grips with it. I'm like, okay. I'm just making sure that you're like, you don't hold anything against me and never, ever hold anything against me again unless you mean it. Gay bachelor and gay's health kitchen is the same to Brady. One guy moaning 30 dudes to try to find a mate. How's that different than Ian's Friday nights? That's a good point. They should also do gay who wants to be a millionaire or just a gay guy to answer questions.

[Byron]

Gay survivor.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing's different. Do we have that opportunity for other guys to just get all horned up, start banging each other in the kitchen? That opportunity exists now.

[Byron]

Your challenge.

[John Holmberg]

Your challenge is to try to keep your dick out of that guy. We're cooking. This isn't the Bachelor.

[Byron]

Can you wrap your mouth around it?

[John Holmberg]

Why are your hot dogs so huge? People can't eat these. I thought this was what people wanted. Ridiculous. Anyway, Brady, you're an interesting man. Thanks for being on the show, pitching ideas. It's a terrible idea. Don't know how it applies at all.

[Byron]

More celebrity sad news. BJ Thomas singer, Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head.

[John Holmberg]

Fiend to Growing Pains.

[Byron]

He's got stage four lung cancer.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Sounds so concerned. Wow.

[Byron]

Tough one. Tough one to get through.

[John Holmberg]

Sure is stage four. There ain't a stage five, Brady.

[Byron]

Yeah. I had no idea. Raindrop spent four weeks at number one on the Hot 100 1970. It was written by Burt Bacharach and Hale Hal David for the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

[John Holmberg]

That will always remind me of Monty Python Leap that whispered backrack and have David. It's a terrible old sketch of now. All I can think about those, though. Show me that smile. He and Jennifer Warren, I think, saying the growing theme. That's not even on there. That's his biggest hit. Played every Tuesday on ABC for, like, eight years.

[Byron]

Yeah, they don't. I know. Are you sure that's him?

[John Holmberg]

I'm positive it's him. Don't you question me. It's television. Television theme songs. I know it.

[Byron]

Another somebody wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Don't interrupt BJ minute on your crying we're nowhere near anybody. The best is ready to begin.

[Byron]

Oh, I know the song Long.

[John Holmberg]

As long as we got each other.

[Byron]

I don't know that much.

[John Holmberg]

We got the world. John Gordon's on it. Wait a minute.

[Byron]

I don't think it is him.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they replaced it. They did too. They replaced it later. Yeah, but it was originally bg. See, he even knew that.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that was in season one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

All the other seasons they changed it.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. But he wrote it. But they changed. They changed what made. Maybe he didn't write. But he was part of it initially.

[Brett Vesely]

Steve Dorf wrote it.

[John Holmberg]

Did he? Stephen Dorf wrote that I would have never making bank. Yeah. So yeah, BJ was part of it for a little bit. But the song was. Yeah. Forever his if you ask me. Because the first season, it's much longer. And then they cut to that reno shine much faster in the second all the time you want it. And he was also part of of Ally McBeal somehow when they did that baby dance all the time.

[Byron]

Good.

[Dick Toledo]

Champ.

[John Holmberg]

Dj's got a problem, Mike. We gotta kick him off the show. Dad. Love growing things. I had a thing for Tracy Gold. Well, she knew how. She knew how to party.

[Byron]

She knew how to eat.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? She was a cheap date. That's all I know. She just had a water and some fun. It's out of control now. Okay. You PD. It's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness for lifechangeloan.com. having good credit is a sign you're probably good with your finances. What if I told you you can control your home equity and do your banking inside of that? That sounds confusing, but your equity is your savings. You have earned that. If I want to completely remodel my house, I don't need a new loan. I have access to my money. The word you're looking for is freeing. Life change alone is the way the system should be. Go to the website and check the numbers for yourself. Then you'll realize it's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com hey, it's John Holmberg here along with Brett Vestly from the Morning Sickness to tell you about Action Ride Shop.

[Brett Vesely]

John, we always rave about Action Ride Shop because of the awesome selection of bikes and bike accessories. But what about being a couple of snow bunnies this year?

[John Holmberg]

Are you saying you want to take advantage of Action Ride Shop? Skis and snowboards?

[Brett Vesely]

Why not? Josh and the boys got us into mountain biking.

[John Holmberg]

You know what, Brett? Let's do it. At Action Ride Shop. You can get all your ski and snowboard needs covered for the upcoming winter season.

[Brett Vesely]

Head to Action Ride Shop on Gilbert Road just north of the 60 or their new store on Power Road and McDowell.

[John Holmberg]

Actionbrideshop.com.