As part of this series, I conduct interviews with fascinating people who have resided all over the country and the globe. These occasional interviews appear as podcast episodes (available through your browser or on various podcast apps) and while the starting place for these interviews are questions about physical “homes”, we get to talk about all sorts of other things that are (or are not) “home” in their lives.

I’m very happy to introduce to you another dear friend, Dr. Laura Coyle! Laura and I have known each other since the year 2000, but our friendship really swung into full gear 19 years ago, when we were paired together for a week as staff members at summer camp in North Carolina. Many adventures ensued!

Since then, Laura has lived in a very big city (Chicago) and a very small one (Fuquay-Varina, North Carolina), but it’s the childhood experience of moving across the country that helped her learn how to adapt, even when she didn’t ask for it. That journey (and all its glorious hiccups and stumbles) is certainly relatable to anyone who has had to move and start over with new friends, new accents, and a new culture. (You’ll have to listen to find out where it is, but let’s just say that she has a lot in common with my previous guest, Maureen!)

It’s clear that Laura has a great awareness of and respect for those chance encounters and surprising experiences that, looking back, become extraordinary: the people and places that made her feel at home when she arrived in Chicago, the ways that her house has unexpectedly become “home”, and the time when someone recognized an identifying feature about her that ended up being the lucky moment that led to meeting me! (And okay, okay, plenty of other important things, too).

As a psychologist, Laura brings a depth of knowledge about how formative experiences challenge us to grow into sharper versions of ourselves and, ultimately, more empathetic people. As someone who tries to appreciate all the good and the bad that life throws at us (it’s all a part of the story!), I love this perspective: not erasing trauma or even being thankful for it, but for the rebuilding that comes after.

Reflection questions:

* Do you have an embarrassing story from childhood about being a “fish out of water”? How did it make you feel then vs. how you feel about it now?

* Have you ever faced a choice: leave home, or stay? When was a moment when you chose to leave? When was a moment when you chose to stay?

Image: She’s always done Halloween right! Photo courtesy of Laura Coyle.

Thanks for reading Home is a Changeling! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Get full access to Home is a Changeling at ashleighellskells.substack.com/subscribe

Home is a Changeling Podcast

Episodes

Dr. Laura