Braxton (2:11)

Yeah.

Alex Earle (2:11)

New Orleans is a different world.

Braxton (2:13)

It's insane. Next weekend, they have crew to Barcus where they, like, dress up dogs and, like, parade their dogs down the street, and it's really, really cute. I went last year. It's really cute. They put the dogs, like, in, like, little, like, strollers and, like, mini floats, and they just, like, dress them up. It's really cute.

Alex Earle (2:29)

Wait, that's so cute. Maybe we should bring Asia. I'm still kind of recovering from New Orleans last week from the Super Bowl. Wait, you weren't there the morning me, Sally, and Zaza went to breakfast alone, and I got fried grits, which I like. Honestly, this was kind of my first time having grits too, which is like, it was like, imagine just like a. A cinder block of, like, it looked like, fried. Like, it was like a square. And I don't know, it had, like, syrup on the outside. It was so good. But then me, Sally, and Zaza all had a case of the gritzeria.

Braxton (3:06)

So glad I wasn't there for that.

Alex Earle (3:09)

And, yeah, and New Orleans was really great, but we had a lot of fun. I think the one night was the best party I've ever been to in my entire life.

Braxton (3:17)

The Cane's party.

Alex Earle (3:19)

Yes.

Braxton (3:20)

Insane. I want to go to the Cane's party every single night. It was also in my favorite hotel and, like, favorite bar, and it was just perfect.

Alex Earle (3:27)

So this party was like, an exclusive after party super bowl weekend. And we went there after this other party we were at, and we kind of, like, accumulated a group of people. Like, I would say the party we were at before, it was like, okay. Like, you know, we just, like, made it a party. Like, everyone was kind of not having, like, the best time ever, but I was like, we're gonna have fun. And we just got a good group and we were dancing and we were like, we should go to this after party. We heard it's a lot of fun, and we went there and it was kind of just like a side lounge type of vibe. And the music was so good, the people were so fun. Like, there was no phones out. Everyone was just, like, dancing, having a good time. And I feel like it's really hard nowadays, especially to find a party that's like, no phones. People are there for a fun time, and no one, like, cares about anything. It's just like, everyone there was there to just, like, literally keep the party going and, like, dance and have a good night.

Braxton (4:18)

It was so much fun, though. I think Anderson Paak was performing when we were there. Just, like, super chill in the corner. And then the guy with the trumpet, do you remember, he just started walking through the party, like, blasting a trumpet with a trumpet.

Alex Earle (4:31)

That was fun. That was a good time. But it was. It was a great crowd. And Ashton went missing for, like, the last half of it because they were handing out this food there, and Ashton was, like, in the corner.

Braxton (4:44)

Let me explain. So we're Walking around with trays of food at this party, like, chicken fingers and whatnot. And me and my roommate Lily were there, and we saw the first tray walk around. When we first got there, we both, like, looked at each other, and then we're like, nah. And then, like, 10 minutes later, there's more trays walking around. And we, like, were like, should we do it? And then by the time that conversation ended, the trays were gone. So we're like, okay, next time it comes, we're grabbing it, and then we see another tray, and I'm, like, looking around. I go to grab it, and the waitress wasn't paying attention, and, like, turned her head and walked away. And I was like, wait. So then I was like, okay, now I really, really, really need the food. And next time we see it, I'm grabbing three trays of food. And so we're like, okay, we were stalking out now, like, stalking all the waitresses waiting for the food. And, like, 40 minutes go goes by, and we're like, no way. They stopped serving food now. And so we were walking through, like, the speakeasy part into the other part of the hotel, and, like, walking around, like, staring at all the waitresses, like, hey. I think Lily went up to a few of them being like, hey, is there any more food coming? So we ended up having them give us some from the kitchen because they were like, we're not serving it anymore, because, like, part of whatever is missing. But they're like, we'll give you a little bit. So then we sat in the speakeasy part of the party and ate.

Alex Earle (6:04)

Yeah, wait, that's. That's underrated. All of a sudden, we're in this party, and there's, like, a huge bookshelf, and then someone just, like, opens the door, opens the bookshelf, and there was, like, a inside of the party that we were in, and I was like, well, that's cool.

Braxton (6:16)

I was in there eating the food, and we were having. We were just so happy to finally get our food that we weren't, like, on our phones. We were just, like, eating whatever. And then by the time we were done eating, I was like, oh, let's probably, like, go socialize. We've been, like, stalking the food for an hour now. I look at my phone. It's 4:30am and I'm like, oh. I text you guys, and no one answers. But I tracked you, and your location was still there. So I was like, oh, they're still here. So we, like, walked around the party, and then we're like, oh, I don't see them. And then I tracked you again. And you were like, we probably, like, just left down. Yeah, you were like, down the street. I was like, they must have like, just left. And then we're like, okay, it's like 5:00am we should probably.

Alex Earle (6:51)

So here's the thing with Ash. She is always disappearing and then mad at me when I leave her at parties. And I was. I do ask and I do look. And the night before, we went to this party and I had to be up early the next morning. And I feel like people don't really expect this of me, but, like, I am kind of sometimes like a mom in the group. I'm like, we have to do this or we have to go or we have to be responsible or. I was trying to be. And I'm pretty good with like calling the cars and whatnot. If Braxton's around, he's like, I kind of like, turn my brain off and he does it. But when I'm alone, I'm pretty good at like, managing everyone. And I was like, okay, like, I have to leave because I have to be up early the next day. But everyone else was having fun at the party. So I was like, you guys stay, you have fun, but I'm leaving. Like, I let everyone know. I was like, I'm leaving, I'm leaving. And then I leave in five minutes.

Braxton (7:39)

You didn't tell me.

Alex Earle (7:41)

I did tell you.

Braxton (7:42)

No, you didn't.

Alex Earle (7:43)

I didn't tell you. You were just probably distracted because whose Lily's foot was gasped in blood?

Braxton (7:49)

That was really funny. Roe dropped her perfume bottle and it was glass for some reason. And like the glass fell, like in between Lily's toes because she was wearing open toed shoes. And when she stepped, it like sliced her toes open so she was gushing blood. We had her foot up. We're wrapping it and like wrapping it in band aids. So that's what I was doing most of the time. But I remember when we first got to that event, we're like, let's leave. And I was like, yeah, let's leave.

Alex Earle (8:16)

And then you literally were like, I'm having so much fun.

Braxton (8:21)

No, I wasn't.

Alex Earle (8:22)

Okay, well, you're lying.

Braxton (8:24)

And you're just. You just left me and you won't admit it.

Alex Earle (8:29)

I said to everyone I wanted to leave.

Braxton (8:32)

I was waiting for you to say, let's go.

Alex Earle (8:35)

Okay, well, whatever. I left and she didn't come. And then she was mad at me. So the next night she was like, don't Leave me. Which obviously I never want to leave anyone. Like, that's never my intention. And I. We're at this party and we didn't see her for, like, over an hour. So all of us were like, oh, 100%. She left and it was, like, small. That's the thing is, like, this wasn't like a big warehouse party. Like, this room was like, you could walk, like, here and back in, like, one minute. Like, it was really, really small, concise, tiny party. I didn't look in the inside the bookshelf speakeasy because, like, I just. I didn't look in there. I didn't know any of us were going in there. And then we left and Ashton's like, did you leave me again? And I felt so bad. I mean, like, I would never want to leave you.

Braxton (9:19)

I was going home with Lily anyway. But it was just like, damn, you don't care about me.

Alex Earle (9:25)

Well, you disappear everywhere. So, no, you have to stop doing that anyhow. And what did. So. Oh, my gosh. I want to tell you the story of how we got Asia.

Braxton (9:35)

Yeah, tell me.

Alex Earle (9:43)

Okay, so I told you guys last episode that I want to foster a dog. And for Valentine's Day, that was kind of our, like, thing we were gonna do. And we ended up actually going to. We were supposed to spend Valentine's Day in Miami, but we ended up spinning it in New York City because I was there for work this week and then I got invited to go. SNL was having their, like, 50 year anniversary. They did like a big concert at Radio City Music Hall. So we went there and it was really, really fun. I mean, it was just like the coolest thing ever. I was standing, like, right next to Miley Cyrus and was really, actually, like, audibly, you guys know, like, well, I don't know. I feel like I talk about this, but, like, I don't really get, like, starstruck. I literally turned around, I said to Braxton, I really want to see Miley Cyrus. I turned around, Miley Cyrus was right there. And I let out the biggest like of my life. And Braxton was like, I've never seen you get like that before. But it was really, really good. The show was insane. Like, there Will Ferrell was at a part. Will Ferrell was singing.

Braxton (10:45)

I think I saw part of TikTok.

Alex Earle (10:47)

Not the part of Denial is a Ridger a River in Egypt with the, like.

Braxton (10:54)

Denial's a River in Egypt.

Alex Earle (10:57)

Isn't that the song?

Braxton (10:58)

It's Denial's a River. But.

Alex Earle (11:03)

Okay, whatever.

Braxton (11:06)

I saw that on TikTok. I also saw the. The Andy Samberg and Lady Gaga.

Alex Earle (11:12)

Isn't that the sound?

Braxton (11:14)

Yeah, your. Your husband's gay.

Alex Earle (11:18)

Anywho.

Braxton (11:20)

Wait, but I was gonna say, I also. Did you see Andy Samberg and Lady Gaga sing My Dick in a Box?

Alex Earle (11:25)

Yes. It was so good. It was. It was so fun. And I'm jealous. The backstage boys came out. The Backstreet Boys.

Braxton (11:34)

Alex, get it together. I could've won.

Alex Earle (11:40)

Okay, guys, there's just, like, one thing about me is that I always get things wrong. I always say, like, I'll sing a song, and someone's like. Kristin always calls me out. She's like, alex, you're singing, like, all the wrong lyrics. Like, there's just. I. I think things are different in my head, and I say them out loud sometimes, and it's just not right. Or I'll say, like, jokes or puns, and, like, I just say it completely wrong or backwards. So it's not that I don't love these people or that I'm not aware. I'm just. It's just a little dumb.

Braxton (12:06)

She's just a little blonde.

Alex Earle (12:08)

No, it's just something I do. And anywho. So actually, we had the best Valentine's Day ever, because we went out Thursday night for Valentine's Day. We got drinks with mom, which was good. We got to see her, and then we went to dinner. And Friday morning, we woke up, we got, like, massages at the hotel spa. And then we went. We did a little shopping, and then we did the SNL thing, and then we went to dinner afterwards. Like, get to the point, Alex. And the place we went afterwards was so good. We had the best martini. I think I found, like, the perfect concoction for me was, like, these. I had two martinis, and it was. It was great.

Braxton (12:53)

Yeah, two martinis can really just set the tone for the night, that's all.

Alex Earle (12:57)

We had these, like, lobster caviar rolls. I don't even know how to explain. Like, it was so, so good. Oh. And you know who was there? You know how I know it was a good restaurant? Sabrina Carpenter.

Ashton (13:10)

What?

Alex Earle (13:10)

Yeah, she just, like, walked. No, she just, like, walked by, and I got, like, smacked with her aura. Like, I could feel it. And, like. I don't know how to describe it, but it was, like a magical aura that she had, filled with, like, laughter and, like, bubbles and blonde hair.

Braxton (13:27)

Unicorn.

Alex Earle (13:28)

That's really what it felt like. So, yeah, she was there for a second. Yeah, I was hanging out with her. And then the perfect date night. Ever. I did go out with her once, actually. So long ago. And we have a photo together, but I don't hold. I don't hold the ownership to that photo. So I wish I had it, but she probably doesn't remember me at all.

Braxton (13:52)

Yeah, that sounds like a lovely Valentine's Day. I'm jealous.

Alex Earle (13:56)

Yeah, it was honestly perfect. And then. Oh, my God, the dog. Let me get to the point. So we got back to Miami, and we went basically right from the airport to the animal shelter, and we knew we wanted to foster a dog. I. I really wanted to foster a dog that had been in the shelter for a while just because, like, they get. So. They build up so much, like, stress in there. And, like, I don't know. Like, some dogs are, like, yeah, cute or younger or whatnot, and they're, like, easier to be adopted or. Yeah, it just, like, easier for them. So we found this girl, Asia, and she had been there for 495 days, so, like, since last October. And I was kind of like, what's, like, the downfall? Like, we were playing with her. Like, she's literally so sweet. She's so perfect. She's four years old. She's healthy. You can definitely tell that she had, like, babies before. She has, like, the little. Little nipples. Nipples. And she was just, like, the sweetest girl in the entire world. And we were like, okay, like, let's take her home. And so basically, my thing is I would love to get a dog, and I can't have a dog just due to, like, my travel schedule. It's just, like, unfair. And it's not like, oh, I go away, like, once a month or twice a month. Like, there's just times when I'm like, I don't know, the next time I'll be in Miami. Like, I just kind of live out of my suitcase from, like, plane to plane and hotel to hotel. So, like, I just don't think it's fair for me to have a dog. Like, I'm such a lover, and, like, I would want to give a dog the best life ever. And, like, when I am here, I can be so loving and good, but it's kind of hard for me if I'm, like, on the go a lot, and I feel like it's not fair, even though I keep being like, I want to keep her.

Braxton (15:34)

I know you're gonna want to keep her, and it's gonna be Braxton's dog to take care of most of the time.

Alex Earle (15:41)

Yeah, I already. I've already cried, like, 10 times about this So I was sobbing last night. And anywho, we found this sweet girl. And my thing is, like, okay, I have a lot of followers and can get a lot of reach and view on these videos that most of the animal shelters just, like, can't. So I want to, like, highlight these dogs and I want to foster these dogs. And, like, I don't want to. I'm not gonna, like, give the dog back to the shelter. Like, if no one wants to adopt her, then I guess I'll take her because I can't, like, give a dog back to the shelter. But I think we'll keep her until we find her a home. And I think that we should find her a home fairly soon because she's literally, this dog is perfect and she seems perfect. Honestly, she's more well behaved. Like, I would say she's at the level behavior of, like, Percy. And Percy went to Germany for training for a year. She is like, she knows sit. She's fully potty trained. She's so sweet. She, like, she doesn't not smile. She's been wagging her tail the whole time we took her home. She's so good with the little kids. She's so friendly. She's good with other dogs. Like, she just doesn't have a bad side to her. Like, she's literally perfect. She's a really good, I would say, like, family dog. Like, she's not like, oh, she gets the zoomies a little bit, but she's not overly, overly hyper, where she's going to be, like, too crazy and needs to, like, run around all the time. But, like, she's such a chiller. She's so sweet. She's so cuddly, and she loves, like, being around other people. So I feel like she's a really great family dog.

Braxton (17:12)

Oh, can I adopt her?

Alex Earle (17:14)

No. It's honestly terrible and I'm not sure how it's going to go. I'll update you guys next week on the, like, giving her away part of it because it's also, like, I feel bad because I'm like, what if she thinks this is her home?

Braxton (17:29)

I'm really jealous. Like, you can't have a boyfriend and a dog. Like, I'm out here on my own. It's the trenches out here, Alex.

Alex Earle (17:35)

Yeah, well, no. You don't want a boyfriend?

Braxton (17:41)

No, I don't.

Alex Earle (17:42)

But, like, that's the thing that makes me mad is, like, I feel like everyone just glamorizes. Like, if you have a great boyfriend, then that's great, but everyone just like, no has this negative connotation on being single. Like, I don't have a boyfriend. I'm like, no, you're having so much fun. What do you mean?

Braxton (17:57)

Literally, I'm contradicting myself because I always say that being single is the best. I just want to snuggle with someone. But I guess that's what Lily's for. I snuggle with Lily a lot, and.

Alex Earle (18:09)

You can snuggle with me.

Braxton (18:11)

You're not here.

Alex Earle (18:11)

You can come over.

Braxton (18:13)

Bring Asia.

Alex Earle (18:13)

Yeah. Maybe you should get, like, a cat.

Braxton (18:16)

I kind of want a cat. I used to never want cats until we got little binks at dad's house.

Alex Earle (18:21)

The cutie little black cat and Chili Cali were fostering the dog at my apartment that Kristen's fostering the cat. Whoops. The cat. She's, like, so perfect. And I've never been a cat person either, actually. I will admit, I was a cat hater. I was like, I don't see the point. Because, like, the only time we ever had a cat was the, like, leopard cat.

Braxton (18:49)

Yeah. And that cat, like, didn't even hang out inside. It would, like, run around outside. It was an outside cat, but it was.

Alex Earle (18:55)

It was the son or daughter of a leopard.

Braxton (19:00)

I don't know if that's true.

Alex Earle (19:02)

I think it's grandpa was a leopard or its dad was a leopard, but it was, like, one or two.

Braxton (19:08)

Leopard. Leopard.

Alex Earle (19:09)

It was a leopard cat. We had a leopard cat. It was pretty growing up because, well, I don't know, actually wanted a leopard cat. We had a leopard cat. So this leopard cat was actually, like, a real jaguar. Like, it would. It would. It didn't last in the house. Like, it had to be outside because it was, like, meant to be in the wild. So it lives at our house, but it lives outside. And, like, that's kind of the only thing I'd ever known of a cat. And it wasn't that friendly. And it was like. If you went by, it was like. So. Yeah, it, like, sits outside and, like, eats the raccoons.

Braxton (19:43)

Cali and Banks are perfect, and they're both really cute little black cats. And I think I need a really cute little black cat.

Alex Earle (19:51)

I love the black cats, and I like the black dogs, and Asia's a pitbull. And I'm so happy because ever since I was little.

Braxton (19:58)

Pit bulls. I've always wanted a pit bull.

Alex Earle (20:00)

Yeah. Ever since I went in my tomboy phase when I was little, and I wanted everything that was, like, big, bad, and scary. I was like, I need a pitbull. Because I thought that they were just like, these monstrous dogs. And like, lo and behold, they are the sweetest, most loving dog babies ever. Like, she literally, all she wants to do is snuggle and then lay on her back and, like, give kisses.

Braxton (20:20)

I know. Like, Catherine's fostering a pitbull right now and his name is Blue and she facetimes me with him all the time. And he does the same thing. He'll just, like, stop moving and, like, lay in the middle of the floor. And, like, he just cuddles with her every night. And they put him in, like, little hats and, like, bathrooms, robes, and dress them up.

Alex Earle (20:36)

And he makes me so sad that they get such a bad rep.

Braxton (20:39)

I know. Because they're perfect. They are.

Alex Earle (20:44)

I know. I, like, really just can't wait to have my animal sanctuary when I'm older because I just can't get enough of them.

Braxton (20:50)

Yeah. You're actually gonna live on a farm. You're literally. Mom. Mom always said she's like, when I grow up, I just want to live on a farm and have all these animals running free and, like, take care of them and, like, we all are so happy together. That's literally gonna be you.

Alex Earle (21:04)

Yeah, well, and Mom's gonna run my farm.

Braxton (21:07)

Yeah.

Alex Earle (21:07)

Because that's what she wants to do. Says Mom's gonna want to, like, move in with me or something. So I'm gonna say you have to run the farm.

Braxton (21:13)

She's gonna. She's gonna tend to the animals.

Alex Earle (21:17)

It's kind of a perfect setup. And after spending time in New York City, I could see myself slash moving there with you. So I slash think you need to have room for me in your apartment.

Braxton (21:29)

Well, I already do. We're manifesting room for you in my apartment.

Alex Earle (21:34)

But also, you don't.

Braxton (21:35)

You're never anywhere anyway.

Alex Earle (21:37)

Yeah, I'm like, where am I ever. Who am?

Braxton (21:41)

Nowhere.

Alex Earle (21:42)

I'm nowhere. I'm. I'm nowhere. Everywhere. I'm nowhere. Everywhere.

Braxton (21:48)

All everywhere.

Alex Earle (21:49)

Okay, I think that could be kind of fun of us to have, like, a little New York City moment.

Braxton (21:53)

Yeah, but I also, like. I know.

Alex Earle (21:57)

Like, are you kicking me out already?

Braxton (21:59)

No. Like, there's gonna be a second bedroom for you, but I'm, like, really excited to live alone and have my own place. Like, so. Yeah, but like, whenever you're in New York, you can. Well, whenever you're in New York, you can obviously have that room that I gifted to you that doesn't exist yet.

Alex Earle (22:17)

Ashton told me she was gonna gift me for Christmas her Christmas present. To me was that she was gonna get a second bedroom in her New York City apartment for me. And I was like, I don't think you understand how expensive the rent is in New York. And then when she started looking at apartments, my dad goes, yeah, that's not happening.

Braxton (22:35)

No, it is. I am budgeting. I'm saving up just for you, so you better be grateful.

Alex Earle (22:41)

But I'm so grateful. Thanks so much.

Braxton (22:45)

I also am really excited to live alone, so, like, you don't have to come over that often.

Alex Earle (22:50)

Oh, my gosh. Asia wants to come back and hang out. Asia, she's so sweet. She's literally the sweetest thing ever. We're gonna try and put her in the pool today and see if. Because she keeps seeing, like, she wants to swim, but she's kind of like a chunker. I'm like, what if she just tanks to the bottom? I don't know if she'll float. And I'm like, well, I feel like. I don't know. We'll see. Floating in the pool. She's literally just like, the sweetest thing ever. And she has not stopped wagging her tail since she got here. Like, just thinking of that. She has been in a cage for. For 500 days, for 23 hours of the day, where it's, like, barking dogs around you at all times, and there's just, like, not that much affection. And I'm so happy for her. Right. Are you feeling good? You feeling good, Asia? But I'm also really excited for this episode today that we're going to play for you guys. It's another hot mess hotline, but I had you guys write in confessions instead of, like, questions or story times. It was more so, like, you guys just, like, confessing everything. And I was honestly, like, shocked at all that you said. And I'm really excited to play these for you guys and play the rest of the episode. But great catching up with you, Ashton.

Braxton (24:05)

Great talking to you. Miss you. Love you.

Alex Earle (24:08)

See you soon. All right, hot mess hotline, here we come. We're doing another hot mess hotline today, but it's going to be a little bit different because I wanted to kind of start, like, theming them. So this one's going to be all about relationship secrets. And because, like, honestly, I feel for you guys. Like, you guys have some pretty deep confessions. Like, the stuff you guys share is no joke. So we're going to do a mix today between, like, voicemails. So voice call, ins and then people who wrote in, because some people are just like, I Don't want to expose my voice right now. And I get that because honestly, listening to your guys voicemail sometimes I'm like, I'm getting scared for you too. But I'm very excited for this episode. I think it's going to be a lot of fun. These are always like my favorite time. Like, I just feel like I'm ready to sit down with the girls and hang and chat. So let's see what you guys left today. And mind you, like, this is my first time seeing all this stuff, reading all this stuff, hearing all this stuff. So I am just as shocked as you guys are always. Okay, let's see.

Listener 1 (25:09)

First of all, I am so obsessed with you. Just so you know, my secret is I was married for three years and I cheated on my husband before we got married because he told me for six months before we got married that I was too ugly to have sex with. So then I cheated on him after we got married because he said the same thing all with my old boss. So sucks to be him. Love you.

Alex Earle (25:38)

Love you. The whole situation doesn't seem great. Yeah, I mean, if you're. If there's a guy saying, I mean, maybe this is just like more of the story here. If there's a guy saying that you're too ugly to have sex with, then maybe that's not the guy we're marrying. And that is absolutely crazy. Obviously cheating's not great. But also like, doesn't seem like that relationship was heading for the end goal of a lifelong happy marriage. So I'm sorry, that sucks. And also, don't take it personally when guys say that stuff to you because there is just some type of men out there that like to belittle women just to make themselves feel a little bit better and feel more comfortable with themselves. It's all like an insecurity thing. Because think about it like a secure person, and this goes for anything besides looks or guys or whatever it is, a secure person doesn't need to like go tear someone else down to make themselves feel better. Because the person that is secure, if they're so secure, wouldn't feel the need to do that. Like, that would just be. They would almost like feel bad. You know what I mean? So that person is unhappy with themselves. And I know there's a lot of guys out there that do that to girls and just try to like, shit on them. And especially like, I don't know what it is about the Miami breed of men, but there's so many times where it's always guys that are born, raised Miami that are literally like, I want to go on a date. Hey, you're so ugly. Or, hey, that outfit's so ugly. And I'm like, what? They're also. One time was this person that you guys would all know. They're like a. A singer. You guys would know their music. But that's all I'm gonna say there. They one time invited me to go out to a bar, and I met them at this bar, and it was, like, in a private back area, so it wasn't like the public could see everyone. It was, like, a private area behind this bar. And I walked in, and he basically just starts on me, like, right from the beginning. I mean, he was, like, hammered, but literally starts on me, like, head to toe and whatever. I could have taken that and been like, man, this, like, really famous guy is on me. And, like, whatever. But, like, I literally was just like, okay, what a freak. Like, this man has had too much to drink. You're embarrassing. Like, this is just not cute. It's not making me feel bad about myself. I know I look good. I feel great. Even if I didn't look good. Like, you shouldn't say that to someone. And, I mean, I don't know. So don't take it personally if a guy shits on you, because I've had that so many times. I mean, one time, there was a guy from Miami that was, like, making fun of my boobs, and he was like, you have no boobs, so the waiter is not paying attention to you. And it's just, like, really, like, we know you're insecure about your own stuff, so that's all I'm going to say. Moving on to number two. Another confession. Here we go.

Listener 2 (28:26)

Hey, Alex. I'm in this, like, big friend group. There's 12 of us at college, and there's these two girls who we hang out with in a group setting, but, like, I'm not super close with them, but one of them was hooking up with this guy, and I also got with him after she got with him. I don't know if I should tell her or not. Like, on one hand, I don't want to blow up our friendship and the group, but on the other hand, if I want to keep seeing this guy, she should probably know it's the first guy I've actually kind of had a crush on since my ex. I know I should stop seeing him.

Alex Earle (29:10)

But I don't want to. Okay, so my advice here, which I feel like just through dealing with lots of girls and Relationships and guys throughout the years, I always think it's better to just be honest. And especially, I mean, even if you're not best friends with this girl. Like, I mean, honestly, I guess that's better. Like, you shouldn't get with someone your best friend gets with, but, like, it's just like a girlfriend with you. See her out socially. Like, I always think it's kind of better if you think that she's going to, like, continue to get with this guy or, like, want to talk to him. I kind of feel like it's better sometimes to just, like, be upfront and be honest, because otherwise girls, like, you can't really keep a secret for that long. Especially in college. Everyone loves to gossip. Everyone loves to talk. Like, he's going to tell his guys. The guys are going to, like, it's just. It's going to get around. And you would rather have her hear it coming from you. And I know it sounds really scary, and I think this is a concept that, like, when you're younger as a girl, it seems really hard or really scary. But as I've gotten older, like, sometimes women just need to have those, like, upfront, honest conversations that aren't fun. Like, I've had conversations with girls where it's like, hey, getting with the same guy. Or, hey, like, he said this to me. He said that to me. Like, you will find that you can respect each other so much more when you're able to have those honest conversations. Because at the end of the day, it's never worth, like, fighting with another girl over a guy because the guy's probably in the middle, like, telling you about the same thing. And, like, who knows if he's going to see her or not or you want to see him. But, like, if I would just be like, hey, I heard, like, you got with him. I also just got with him. But, like, I don't mean this in a weird way because I don't don't pitch it in a way where those girls do. We're like, I just want you to know. And, like, they're trying to make you feel insecure or weird. Like, don't do it like that. Be like, girl to girl. I just want to let you know, I don't want any weird vibes. Like, like, da, da, da. And she's probably gonna be like, oh, my gosh, I don't care. Or like, oh, my gosh, damn. Thank you for telling me. Like, I just think it's better to be honest. I really do. And I know it doesn't sound fun, and I know it doesn't sound great, but it will always be worth it in the long run. And I just feel like that is gonna happen a lot when you get older. So I feel like it's better to just, like, get it out of the way and always just, like, be nice, you know? But I would say just be honest because she's going to find out anyway. Okay, moving on to number three. This one is one that someone wrote in, so I'm going to read it for you guys. My sister recently got engaged on Christmas. Her and her boyfriend, now fiance, have been together for over a year. He's the definition of a total bum. He doesn't have a job, wrecked her car, and has been freeloading off of her family. My secret is her fiance was engaged before, which only I know and I've kept quiet about it. I work with his ex fiance's sister, and she told me he used the same ring and he gave to his ex fiance. She broke off the engagement due to lack of ambition, and when she broke off the engagement, she gave the ring back to him and now he's recycled it to my sister. I feel like I'm keeping a huge secret and I'm torn between staying quiet or telling her the truth. I just don't know how to bring this up without making things worse. Holy shit. You have to tell your sister. Sorry? You have to tell your sister. I know it's going to be tough and I know, like, honestly, at first she's probably going to be like, f you, whatever, but, like, the fact you know that you know more about this man's past than, like, your sister, who is engaged to this man, knows is not okay. That is not normal. And like, I'm trying to think if this was with Ashton. I'm trying to think roles reverse if this was with Ashton. Because I would obviously tell Ashton, but, like, would Ashton would be in the position where she's like, ooh, I'd. I don't know if I want to tell her or not. Like, trust me, you have to tell her. Because then at the end of the day, she can make her own decision. You know what I mean? Like, she can be like, okay, I still want to marry this man. Okay, I don't want to marry this man. But at least that's her decision. And she's going into this because marriage is a serious commitment. And I think she should go into it being able to make, like, a clear decision when she knows all of the things like, oh, my God, and the fact it's like the same ring. I don't know. So personally, I would tell her, and I know it's going to be hard, but, like, I'm trying to think of, like, how you can tell her. Like, I don't know. You're gonna have to come with, like, the facts and the receipts and, like, sit her down. I'm so sorry, because that's definitely a tough one. But you have to tell her and. Yeah, then let her make her own decision because then you don't have to, like, feel guilty holding this in. But I feel like you should not keep that into yourself. I personally wouldn't be able to, like, attend the wedding, like, knowing I'm holding this really big secret. Even if it blows everything up. Everything happens for a reason. But I think you need to tell her. So. Sorry.

Listener 3 (34:03)

Hi, Alex. I love you and Ashton so much.

Alex Earle (34:06)

Oh, I love you.

Listener 3 (34:07)

The secret I have to tell you is that I'm not really comfortable with my stepdad moving in to my house, my mom's house. And obviously, if I tell my mom this, that's not going to change. But I feel like it will put a real strain on a relationship. But I also want to get off my ch. Because I've been holding on for a while now, and it's really hard for me. And it's also really awkward because one of his stepsons hit on two of my friends, and it was just really awkward. He's going to my school. How do I, like, talk to her about it? Because I think it's, like, really difficult. I just, like. I don't know.

Alex Earle (34:42)

I'm sorry. I feel like I can feel that in your voice right now. All right. I think you definitely don't need to hold it in. I think if you want to talk to your mom that something's making you, like, uncomfortable or that you're sad, I think definitely talk to your mom. I've learned this with so many different things. Is that, like, our parents are unfortunately, or I guess, fortunately, like, their own adults and their own people, and they're gonna make their own decisions in life. And I think as you get older, you start to, like, realize that, like, I remember just, like, coming to the realization, like, holy. Like, they're just people living their life. And, like, for some reason, we, like, pin our parents as, like, godlike figure. It's that they can do nothing wrong. And at the end of the day, like, your mom's probably dating or married to this guy, whatever, wants to move in with him. Like, that's something that's gonna make her happy. She may not know that it's gonna be making you uncomfortable or she does know. But like, I think it's worth to have a conversation with her just telling her how you feel. Because I feel like sometimes there's just like an awkward thing with like step parents or divorce or stuff like that where it's like the parents don't want to talk to you because they are kind of like embarrassed because like, maybe they know that it's making you upset so they don't really want to or face any type of wrath or like face any type of sadness because it probably hurts her to see you sad and like you don't want to hurt her or cause like this weird thing. But like, I think that the more you can be transparent and like just have a conversation with her and be like, hey, like, I know this probably isn't going to change anything, but like, I just want to talk to you about why this is making me uncomfortable or like why I have these type of hesitations. And maybe she can talk to you hopefully honestly too and not just like super defensively about why she likes him or why she wants to see him move in. And like, I think maybe you can come to like a better understanding that way and maybe there's some type of compromise or you're just able to grasp because sometimes truly like there isn't a compromise. But I think sometimes you're able to like better understand how they feel, if that makes sense. Like, I think a lot of the times too when like my dad started dating my stepmom, that was really hard for me. And like my dad, I guess I always use that example just because my dad was in like more of a serious relation ship first. So I would hold all these things kind of against him and like in my own head. And then I would usually like every six or eight months have like a big freak out and a big blow up. And that's also the result of holding things in and not talking about it. And then when my dad would pull me aside and we would have a conversation and he would explain how he saw things from his point of view or like the feelings he felt and that like he was dating this girl and he really liked her and you know, I. It just helps you kind of of rationalize it a little bit more and help understand each other. So I think definitely have a conversation. But I would approach it more from like, I just want to have a conversation and like, hopefully you can tell me how you feel. I can tell you How I feel rather than being like, he can't move in because that approach is only going to make your mom get defensive. And probably. Yeah, it just. It won't be a great conversation that way. But I love you and I know stuff with, like, family, family is tough. And I mean, everyone deals with their own family things in so many different shapes and forms. But I think, like, the cool thing is about being able to come on here and talk to you guys is like, everyone has their own shit with their family. Even the families that, like, look like they have their shit together, like, they got some weird stuff going on in the background. So, like, don't feel weird when, like, you're like, how are these people in my family? What's going on? Like, I'm so upset at them. Like, it's normal and it happen, happens. And that's the beautiful thing about family is the end of the day, you love each other and you grow. But everyone has family issues and especially, like, your parents. Seeing new people is hard, and, I don't know, it can be a lot. So I love you and I feel for you, and just try to have as many open, honest conversations as you can. Okay? This is another written in one, my friend and her boyfriend have been on and off for a while, and they're long distance. Then one of my best friends recently hooked up with her boyfriend, and I think they have hooked up multiple times since. She made me promise to never tell her, but over this past summer, we became closer, and it's always on the tip of my tongue. I feel like she's getting blindsided, and I feel bad for her and still giving this guy any of her time, or her friend, for that matter. Should I tell her and risk my friendship or should I keep her secret? Oh, hell, hold on. So your friend is dating this guy on and off. Then one of your best friends hooked up with him, but now you're getting closer with this girl, and you're like, I feel like I need to tell her. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Because, like, either way, you're not being a great friend because you're, like, gonna upset someone, obviously. So that's, like, a really tricky position. And, like, the friend who asked you not to say anything is going to be like, what's your problem? Oh, my God. I just. I know. And, like, I'm like, is this not the right thing to do? But I feel like it is, but I just wouldn't be able to keep that in. Is that bad to say? Like, I just feel like I wouldn't be able to keep that in, like, I wouldn't be able to hang out with her and like, have her talk about this guy or whatever. And I mean, I guess it depends if they hooked up, like, while they were separated or while they were together. Because if they were separated when they hooked up, I feel like that makes things a little bit different. And sometimes it's one of those things where it's like, if you don't want to, like, some girls are like, I don't want to know what he did when we broke up. But if she's like, I want to know what he did when we broke up, like xyz, then maybe that's a little bit more like of a compromising position. But like, if she's like, I don't want to know what he did when we broke up. But if they also, if he got with her while they were together, then I feel like you need to tell her because then he's cheating on her. And that's not good either way. But that's such a tricky position. Maybe like, is there any world in which. I don't know. I think if the girl wants to know, like, what he did when they weren't together, then maybe you should tell her. Or be like, I do know someone he got with. Maybe you don't need to like, out the girl. But you could be like, I know he got with someone at this time period. I just want to let you know. So maybe then it's like you are like, like, I can't tell you who, but like, obviously the girl's gonna be like, who? But maybe you just say in a type of way where, like, I think it's more important, like the fact and the principle rather than like, who he got with. And like, if it really bothers you, then maybe we discuss that. But like, oh, I don't know. I don't know. That's a really tricky one. But I think it depends if he cheated on her or didn't cheat on her. But it's not sounding like that great. So maybe they should just both ditch him and find a new guy.

Listener 4 (41:31)

Hi Alex, I'm a huge fan of yours and thank you.

Alex Earle (41:35)

Love you.

Listener 4 (41:35)

Juicy secret. This is from when I was in high school and I am now 42 years old. But I have never told this to anyone before. I was in a relationship for a few years and I slept with my boyfriend's brother who was married. I was losing interest in my boyfriend. I always thought the brother was hot and good looking and I had Found out that he and his wife were having problems, and he used to always, like, flirt with me, and I would catch him looking at me when we were at his parents house. So one night we were away on a ski trip and everybody else had fallen asleep, and we were a little tipsy, and it happened. And then it happened again and again and again on different occasions. But needless to say, I'm no longer in that relationship. We did end up breaking up, but thankfully nobody ever found out.

Alex Earle (42:39)

Oh, my gosh. I. Okay. I'm so glad that you just made this so much easier and ended that with. That you were no longer in that relationship. That's crazy. I don't know about that. Huh? I. I don't know. I mean, the whole thing with, like. Well, I was gonna say someone's brother, but now I'm thinking, like, this is your boyfriend's brother. Like, that's kind of crazy. But, like, the fact he was also married is also another level of crazy. And I also hope that, like, maybe they're not together anymore. But I'm very happy that you're no longer with this guy. And I feel like, like, maybe this is good for people to hear from, like, the opposite side of things. Because I feel like when guys, like, cheat on you, it's hard to be like, ooh, but, like, do they really not love me? It was like, maybe a mistake. And you're saying, like, I lost interest in this guy, like, whatever. Didn't really care. Not saying, like, that's great or that's good, but I'm just saying, like, I think when someone's treating you like that, it's meant for the relationship to be over. So maybe some girls needed to hear that from the opposite point of view anyways. But. But I don't know if I've ever had a situation where, like, I've been with someone and, like, thought about their brother. I don't think so. Like, that's. No, for me, that is insane that you kept that a secret. And thanks for confessing today on the Hot Mess hotline. Okay. I've been good friends with this guy for almost six years. I've secretly had a big crush on him for a long time. And whenever we go out together, I feel like we're very flirty with each other. Nothing has ever happened between us. And I'm not sure if he feels the same way. I don't want to ruin our friendship or make things awkward by making a move if he doesn't feel the same way. But I also feel like I'll never know if I don't say something. Okay, so this is always, like, a very common question. And a lot of people feel this way where it's like, a guy friend and you kind of have maybe feelings for them, or you feel like it's flirty and you want to explore it, but you don't know and you don't want to ruin the friendship. I feel like more times than not, it does end up ruining the friendship, but also I feel like if you don't try, you never know. And, like, it's something that's always going to be in the back of your mind. I think if we're saying, like, what would Alex do? I would probably go for it. And I'm assuming if he's flirting with you back then he probably feels the same way you do. And if things don't work out, then at least you know, and you're like, okay, well, at least I tried. And, like, now that can be, like, out of your mind. Because sometimes there's just a thing with girls when, like, when you, like, can't have something or you feel like you can't have something, or you feel. Feel like it can't happen, you want it so much more. Like, I remember there was this one time in college where I really had a crush on this guy for, like, I don't know. I don't know why I had a crush on him, but it was the fact that, like, for some reason, like, I just felt like we, like, couldn't be together or whatnot, that I think I liked him. And this h. It dragged on for, like, years. And there was, like, literally meaning, this guy was, like, annoying, but I was like, but why am I always thinking about him? But why do I like him? And it was always the fact of, like, never really, like, tried it out. And then we hung out one time, and I was like, okay, so, like, I hate him. And then I finally was able to, like, get over it. But I feel like until you do that or explore that for yourself, sometimes it just, like, the unattainable makes it so much more. Not even unattainable, but, like, when you just think about the, like, what if Sometimes that makes it so much more glamorized in your head? So I would say just go for it, because otherwise you're never going to stop feeling this way. And I think if it doesn't work out, then just recognize. Be like, okay, that was not great. Let's just go back to being friends and just, like, be okay with that. But Yeah, I would say go for it. Why not? We only live once.

H (46:40)

Hey, Alex. So recently I hooked up with this guy that I met from the club. I know, first of all, red flag right there. I hooked up with him and I spent the night over. And the next morning I was awakened to what it sounded like were pissing noises. I wake up out of my sleep. I look up and the guy that I had hooked up with the night before was literally ping in the corner. I had no idea what to do, so I just like pretended to fall back to sleep. What would you have done in that situation? I should have just ran away, caught an Uber. But I didn't want to embarrass him. I don't know what I was thinking.

Alex Earle (47:22)

Okay, girl. It's okay. Because I hate to say that I've been in that situation before. There is something about guys after going out and drinking that they think like they almost sleepwalk. I'm not saying all of them, but I've had this happen like a few different times where guys just like pee on the floor or pee in the bed. I once dated this guy that was a bedwetter. And I mean, he was the one who like cheated me on me all the time, so it's okay. But he would go out every night and like, piss my bed. Like pissed the whole entire bed. And this was at the point where I was still like living at my parents house. So when he would sleep over, my mom was like, what is your problem? Like, why do I have to wash the sheets after every night you sleep over? Because he was peeing the bed. But some guys just do that. And I have seen it before where there was another guy in college that I dated and he got up and just like walked to the corner of the room and thought it was the toilet. And like, I don't know why they do that, but like, maybe we don't do that as girls because like, we just. It's like more complicated for us. We have to like squat or whatnot. But like, I mean, I don't think it's wrong that you just kind of fell back asleep and then like probably left in the morning or whatnot. Because I would be kind of scared to like get up while someone's like sleepwalking slash peeing on the floor. And if he's peeing on the floor and awake, then that makes things ten times worse. So I would probably do the awkward thing where like you pretend to fall asleep and like go back to bed. But I'm like, why is that? Such a common theme with girls all the time. Not all the time, but, like, we really sometimes make ourselves more uncomfortable. It's like, let the guy feel comfortable. Like, there's been so many times where it's like, you're just like, okay, roll over, sleep. Close your eyes. Like, pretend to be sleeping. Pretend to be sleeping. And I'm like, why do we do that? Because at the end of the day, the only one we're protecting is them. And it's like, do we really care about them? No. But it's like, we're just so. We're so amazing as women. We care so much. So, yeah, unfortunately, that's a thing that guys do. And not sure what it's all about, but some of them sleepwalk and pee on the floor or just pee wherever. And that's. I don't know if you guys remember the story I told you one time when someone peed in my drawer. That's what I thought happened, is I thought that my boyfriend got up and peed in my drawer, but he didn't.

Ashton (49:40)

Hi, Alex. This is kind of like something funny to say, but my boyfriend Mark and I love you and love your sister and love your podcast. We've been dating for the past three years, and I'm waiting for him to propose, and he told me that the only way he'll propose is that if. If you shout him out somehow. Please help a girl out from a fellow. Earl girl, please.

Alex Earle (50:11)

Oh, my God. Love you guys as well. And, I mean, I feel like I'm officiating a marriage right now. Mark, propose. What's your problem? Come on. But, hey, love you guys. And, yeah, wishing you all the best. I feel like this is, like, so serious right now. I'm like, oh, my gosh, I hope Mark's a good guy. I hope I'm giving good advice over here. Mark, be nice, please. Okay. Thank you guys all for sending in those confessions and secrets and trusting me with them, because you guys are crazy. And I love you all, but that was so much fun. I always love doing these Hot Mess hotline episodes. I will see you guys next Thursday for another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. I love you. Don't forget to subscribe, follow, watch, listen to this podcast wherever you are. I love you so much, and I will see you next Thursday. Bye. Wait, did I just turn that off? How do I get that back on? I'm a hot mess.