Leaving An Abusive Relationship ft. Brianna Chickenfry

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Leaving An Abusive Relationship" ft. Brianna Chickenfry

Podcast Information:

• Title: Hot Mess with Alix Earle
• Host: Alix Earle
• Guest: Brianna Chickenfry
• Episode: Leaving An Abusive Relationship
• Release Date: December 12, 2024

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Introduction

In this emotionally charged episode of Hot Mess with Alix Earle, Alix sits down with Brianna Chickenfry to delve deep into the harrowing journey of leaving an abusive relationship. Beyond the glossy facade of social media fame, Brianna shares her raw and unfiltered experiences, offering invaluable insights and advice for listeners who might find themselves in similar situations.

Brianna's Story: The Descent into Abuse

Brianna opens up about her tumultuous relationship with Braxton, highlighting how what began as a seemingly perfect romance quickly spiraled into manipulation and abuse.

Brianna Chickenfry [17:29]: "Before I met him, I was the most confident person in the world. When I met Braxton, he mirrored all my best qualities, making me fall in love with both him and myself."

Initially, Braxton's behavior was nothing short of charming. He lauded Brianna's accomplishments, nurtured her confidence, and created an illusion of a soulmate connection. However, as the relationship progressed, subtle criticisms began to emerge.

Brianna Chickenfry [19:49]: "He started with little nitpicks—questions about my job, my online presence, even my wardrobe. It was such a mind fuck because I trusted him completely."

Recognizing the Red Flags

Brianna emphasizes the importance of identifying early warning signs in relationships to prevent falling into similar traps.

1. Love Bombing and Rapid Progression: Braxton intensified their bond swiftly, discussing marriage and children merely weeks into their relationship.

Brianna Chickenfry [20:44]: "When someone declares you soulmates on day two, it's a red flag. You're swept away by the intensity before you even truly know each other."

2. Subtle Manipulation and Gaslighting: Braxton employed manipulation tactics, making Brianna doubt her perceptions and sanity.

Brianna Chickenfry [22:22]: "He would twist my words, making me feel like the crazy one. Every confrontation left me more confused and questioning my reality."

3. Isolation from Support Systems: Braxton systematically isolated Brianna from her friends and family, making her solely dependent on him.

Brianna Chickenfry [53:09]: "He tried to wedge himself between me and my closest friends, a clear tactic to isolate me and make me rely entirely on him."

The Role of Social Media and Public Perception

Navigating an abusive relationship in the public eye added another layer of complexity for Brianna. The constant scrutiny and judgment from online followers exacerbated her emotional turmoil.

Brianna Chickenfry [11:10]: "People are so quick to judge or not believe me. But this isn't for them—it's for those who are experiencing it right now."

She discusses how her portrayal on social media was distorted, receiving backlash for changes in her personality that were direct consequences of the abuse.

Brianna Chickenfry [44:02]: "My online persona became a punching bag. People didn't see the behind-the-scenes pain, only the surface changes."

Coping and Healing: Reclaiming Her Identity

After enduring years of emotional abuse, Brianna embarked on a journey of healing and self-discovery. Therapy played a crucial role in her recovery, helping her reconnect with her true self.

Brianna Chickenfry [34:51]: "I'm realizing that putting up with his abuse was not my fault. It's taken me time, but I'm starting to understand that nothing was worth losing myself over."

She emphasizes the significance of seeking professional help and the transformative power of openly sharing her story to aid others.

Brianna Chickenfry [46:08]: "I'm doing regular therapy to rewire how I respond to triggering situations. It's a long road, but I'm making progress."

Advice to Listeners: Empowering Others to Leave Toxic Bonds

Brianna offers heartfelt advice to those trapped in abusive relationships, urging them to recognize their worth and seek support.

Brianna Chickenfry [70:48]: "Ask yourself, 'Is any person or relationship worth losing who you are for?' The answer should always be no."

Key Takeaways:

• Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, it likely is.
• Maintain Connections: Don't let a partner isolate you from your support system.
• Seek Professional Help: Therapy can provide the tools needed to heal and move forward.
• Empower Others: Offer non-judgmental support to those who might be suffering in silence.

Conclusion

Hot Mess with Alix Earle delivers a powerful and poignant episode through Brianna Chickenfry's candid recounting of her abusive relationship. Her vulnerability not only sheds light on the intricate dynamics of emotional abuse but also serves as a beacon of hope and strength for listeners facing similar struggles. By sharing her story, Brianna underscores the importance of self-worth, resilience, and the unwavering support of loved ones in the journey toward healing.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• “Before I met him, I was the most confident person in the world.”
  — Brianna Chickenfry [17:29]

• “When someone declares you soulmates on day two, it's a red flag.”
  — Brianna Chickenfry [20:44]

• “He would twist my words, making me feel like the crazy one.”
  — Brianna Chickenfry [22:22]

• “People are so quick to judge or not believe me. But this isn't for them—it’s for those who are experiencing it right now.”
  — Brianna Chickenfry [11:10]

• “Ask yourself, 'Is any person or relationship worth losing who you are for?' The answer should always be no.”
  — Brianna Chickenfry [70:48]

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This episode is a testament to the strength required to break free from toxic relationships and the transformative power of sharing one's story to foster community and understanding.

Transcript

[Alex Earle]

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[Brianna Chicken Fry]

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[Alex Earle]

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[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Sponsored by Pfizer.

[Alex Earle]

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. Wait, did I just turn that off? How do I get that back on? I'm a hot mess. I know that there's stuff circulating online right now between Bri and Grace and I honestly don't really know anything about what's going on there. This was recorded prior to my knowledge of all of this. And I mean, I think anytime you're going through something with a friend, it's really hard. I feel for both of them. And then also going through something in front of so many people and having so many eyes on you, also not fun. So I feel for both of them. I'm sure a lot of you guys are going to be like, well, why did you not ask about this situation? I honestly had no idea anything was going on there and I thought about not airing this episode because I don't want this to be drama or create more drama for anyone or either of the girls. But really the point of this episode still stands and there's such a strong message and I think it'll be helpful and there's some good advice in there for a lot of you guys and a lot of girls. So that is why I wanted to go forward with airing this episode. And yeah, just wanted to say that before we get into it, I'm especially excited for this episode because we are going to be having on Brianna chicken fry and I wanted to have her on. Because, first of all, I mean, I think unless you're living under a rock right now, you've seen that her and Zach Brian broke up, and she kind of went on the BFF's podcast, and she's been posting a lot on her social media, talking about how the relationship has affected her and how the breakup has affected her. And I think she has shared a lot of behind the scenes of the relationship about it being a narcissistic, mentally abusive relationship. And I think just watching her podcast episode, honestly, on BFFs helped me a lot. And it kind of reminded me of a lot of moments from past relationships that I think I either suppressed or forgot. And I think that's something that you do when you're in those type of relationships is just. I mean, you don't do it purposefully, but you forget. And you kind of forget all the little nitpicky things that they might say to you or that they might do or to make you feel a certain way. And really watching her come forward online and talk about her relationship, just. It reminded me of a lot of different things that I forgot about. For example, we would. When I was dating this guy, he would always drop me off at my house. He would come hang out with my friends, and it was always great. Like, I was always obsessed with the fact in the beginning that he would hang out with my friends, and I loved that about him. And then towards the end of the relationship, which it wasn't that long of a relationship because it was so terrible, but he wouldn't even come to the front door of my house to pick me up for a date. And he would say, you know, why do I need to do that? Like, just come get in the car. Like, you're being so crazy. Like, that's not like, that crazy for me to not come up to the door and say hi to you or say hi to your friends. And it was just this, like, toxic cycle where he would twist what I was thinking or even with him. I'm pretty sure he was on, like, Raya as well when we were dating. Or he would like, like, these, like, strippers photos. And I was like, what are you doing? And he would be like, it just makes me feel better. Like, that's just something that makes me feel better, makes me feel good about myself. And I was like, am I going crazy right now? Or is that just, like, not what you should be doing? Or, like, if that's making me uncomfortable, like, shouldn't you care? He would literally say, to me, like, you made me sad. So I had to, like, these photos to make myself feel better. And I was like, oh, Like, I was so confused, and it would drive me crazy that, like, we would get in fights. And I have photos now because I took photos during this. Thank God. Because honestly, I probably would have forgotten, but I. My nose would be gushing blood because I was crying so hard and so frustrated. And that was the thing about these fights is they were so frustrating because I knew, like, deep down what he was saying was so outlandish, but, like, he would make me feel like I was the crazy one. And I just think, like, listening to her episode brought up so many of those emotions again for me. And I think it's so important that she's online talking about this and talking about what she went through and signs to look for when you're in these relationships. So that's really, really why I wanted to have her on today. It was to talk to the Earl girls. And I think there's a lot that can be learned from her, and I think she's still going through a period where she's still learning exactly what she went through or trying to cope with it. And I'm really excited that she wants to come on and talk to you guys. And I really commend her for doing that and talking about that online, because it's not always easy. I don't want to put her in a situation where she's saying anything that she doesn't want to say, and I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. So I think for the people that are looking for maybe a lot of drama or me to, like, try and push her into a corner to say something like, that's not just. That's not how we do it on Hot Mess. And I really just want, anytime I have a guest on for them to just feel comfortable and, like, we're having girl talk, just sitting down, having a conversation about whatever we are. But I don't ever want to, like, pressure anyone into saying anything that they don't want to say. And I think that's super important to me. And I. I don't know. I've been in situations before where I've said stuff in interviews, and, you know, I just didn't feel comfortable about it after. So I never want to do that to anyone else. But I'm really excited to have her here today and talk about what she went through in her relationship and how she is dealing with the breakup and what, you know, her plans are going forward. And how her mentality is kind of changed. Because I think one of the big things she talked about in her relationship was that she kind of lost herself. And, you know, she's putting all the pieces back together right now of who she is and the person that she lost for the past, like, year and a half or over a year and a half. So I'm really, really excited for this. I think it's gonna be some good girl talk, and I'm very excited to have her on.

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[Alex Earle]

Welcome to Hot Mess. Thanks. Alex. When is the last time I saw you?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I think for the PCAs, the people choice award. Yeah. That's the last time I saw you.

[Alex Earle]

And that was a scary night.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

That was a scary night because there was a fight at the bar that night.

[Alex Earle]

There was a fight at the bar.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Me and Grace had to go out the back door.

[Alex Earle]

That was. Yeah. And I kind of think that was our first time, like, really hanging out too.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah.

[Alex Earle]

I don't think things got crazy.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I was talking to J.

[Alex Earle]

Brought us out to some pub.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah. But we never met before that, right?

[Alex Earle]

I don't think so, but I feel like we have. But I was trying to recount our memories together, and I was like, I don't think we have.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I don't think we ever have either. And I was like, no, we totally met Alex in Miami. But we totally never met.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I just thought we've met before.

[Alex Earle]

I know. I did too. But, yeah, we had a cryptic night.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

It was a cryptic night. It was so scary. It was so bad. I was horrified.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah. Tensions were high and things got scary. But I have to tell you this kind of a confession, and I think it's Just a funny story. Do you remember when you went to a U. Miami pool party?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yes.

[Alex Earle]

Like, when you were first blowing up. So I was out of town that weekend, but the house that you pre gamed out with the girls was like, my friend. Group of girls.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Shut up.

[Alex Earle]

And I was out of town that weekend and they were like, Brianna chicken fries coming to pregame with us. And I was like, kicking myself.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Wait. They were so fun. That. That was your friend group?

[Alex Earle]

Yeah, that was some of the older girls we were friends with and then some of my friends. Oh, my gosh.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah. So I went to. So we would. I was doing college tours for like two years. It's kind of like how I got started. And we would go to these schools and we just post on our story, like, what sororities want to hang out, what frat want to hang out? And then we. Let's go. So we went to sorority. And that's crazy because they were so fun. They were like the drunkest girls I ever met. We were doing like ski shots of like, just straight Tito's and I was like, oh, my God. We made a music video with them.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Were you on social media yet?

[Alex Earle]

I was trying, but I was. I was out of town for something with my family and I, like, couldn't miss it. And I was literally kicking myself. I was like, oh, my God. It was like, she's so cool and I'm so upset.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Wait, that's so funny. I wish we met then. That would be full circle.

[Alex Earle]

I know, that's crazy. No, I'm actually happy we didn't meet then.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Were you insane? Well, honestly, I'm glad too, because I was fucking that those years of my life. Like, I can't believe they're all in line because they were diabolical.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah, no, they were so good though.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

They were so fun.

[Alex Earle]

Like, I think I hopped on during your like, blue collada phase, when you were like, gagging, taking shots. It was so good.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

It's crazy. People are like, how did you get started on social media? I'm like, I was dead ass just gagging online. And all the college girls were like, me too. I was like, okay, we resonate. And then it just turned into something crazy. But that's wild. I can't believe those were your friends.

[Alex Earle]

Sometimes I can't think, like, believe the stuff that I post to myself on the Internet. And now that I'm just, like, so accustomed to it, I'm like, yeah, whatever. And then I'm like, oh, my God, why am I posting this for people.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

To see, especially with podcasting. Like, you say everything. You tell every detail of your life, and you walk down the street, and, like, people come up to you and tell you things that, like, only your diary should know.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And you're like, oh, I say that to the world.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah. I had, like. Because last year was my first year podcasting, and I went through a weird phase where I was like, I. I think I'm saying too much, or I was saying stuff before I, like, fully processed it. I think it's important not to, like, try and use people for, like, clickbaity salacious stuff, because I feel like I did that and I said stuff, and I was like, oh, my God. And you, like, can't take it back. And then it's hard sometimes when you, like, you're just talking, and then you put it out on the Internet and you're like, you can't get that back.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Well, yeah. Well, that's what people, like, people are so quick to judge or, like, hate, which is fair because, like, that's what we signed up for. But at the same time, like, we're just having conversations as they would with their friends, like, on a night in, but we're posting it to the world. And you don't. Like, I've gotten into trouble with that, too. And I've been doing. I mean, you've been doing it since, what, 20? How old? Like, how old were you 20 when you started at least being online?

[Alex Earle]

Yeah, I guess I was, like, 20. Yeah. No one was really watching me then.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I started podcasting when I was 19. So, like, everything that's crazy ever said, and I have always been, like, outspoken. I'll say everything, and I've never held back, and there's, like, such a trail of it, which sometimes I regret. But at the same time, it's kind of cool because you can watch, like, my progression as a person grow up, but at the same time gets you in trouble.

[Alex Earle]

No, it does. And it is crazy to watch your progression because, like, I'll look stuff. I'll look back at stuff I said last year, and I'm like, oh, my God, I don't agree with.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Right.

[Alex Earle]

And I'm like, we're still growing up, you know, like, we're still young. So it is. It is crazy putting out a lot online, but I think it's really cool that you're posting about your breakup and what you're going through.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah.

[Alex Earle]

And honestly, I was tuned in to the BFF's episode when you were talking about everything, like, everyone else in the world, and I was remembering stuff and remembering feelings from, like, one of my past relationships that wasn't even on, like, the same level as yours, but I was remembering stuff just from what you were saying, and it was so, like, emotional for me to even listen to. And then, like, watching what you've been posting online since and how you've been helping so many people just kind of leave a toxic relationship, I really applaud you for that because I think a lot of people are quick to jump and judge online and be like, oh, my gosh, they're just saying this for, like, attention and stuff. But it's like, it's truly so helpful for people to hear. And, yeah, I just want to applaud you for that because it's really cool what you're doing.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah, it's been the. The response has been crazy. I didn't really know what it was going to be. And, like, you just said, like, people are so quick to jump and, like, not believe or judge. And I knew that was going to be the outcome of it because, I mean, if you look at fucking last week, the woman that came forward about Conor McGregor, like, she literally had to get a tampon surgically removed by a doctor, and people still don't believe her. So, like, obviously people aren't going to believe me. And he has crazy fans. And it's all that. It's all this. And when I was coming forward with it, it was. It was really hard because I, like, slowly started to realize I haven't posted any of it, but I documented, like, for myself, like, videos to try to get myself to leave. And, like, I have, like, a trail for probably the past, like, six months of just, like, telling myself how I feel in this moment. What he did to me, like, this is why I need to leave. Because it's so hard when you wake up the next day and there's an apology and it's like, okay, well, I'm gonna stay. So I would make videos to, like, get myself to remember to leave, which.

[Alex Earle]

Is smart because you forget all the little things.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

You forget all the little things. And also when you're in such, like, a toxic, abusive relationship, you don't, like, you don't even understand what's going on. You don't even know who you are. So I was making all those videos, and then when we finally broke up, I made a break just documenting my process and my feelings of day one, day two, day three. And I rewatched those recently, and you can see through them. I start to slowly realize what kind of relationship I was in, because I was still stuck in it, where I just thought, I don't know, maybe it's just, like, something bad. Like, I didn't understand the level of how, like, toxic and abusive it was. And, like, re watching it, it took me a little bit, and I didn't want to speak on it at first. Like, we recorded an episode of BFFs probably a week. A week before the one that went out to the world. So we recorded one and I called them after, and I'm like, that just, like, didn't feel right. I don't even know what's going on. Cause I was still processing my emotions, and I was, like, so scared to call them. It's like the end of the day, like, podcast is, like, our job. And, like, I just kind of fucked up everyone's schedule and, like, all this, and I was like, I don't want to put that out. I don't want to do that. And it took me another week to process my emotions and what I was going through. And then I was, like, finally ready to sit down and talk about it. And after talking about it, I realized, like, the weight of what had happened and how much it was going to help other people. I didn't realize so many people went through what I went through. It was shocking. It was crazy.

[Alex Earle]

And I feel like you can even tell in, like, when you were first talking about it, just, like, you were so gentle with it and, like, kind of reserved and. Yeah, no, that was crazy to see. But I want to go back to, like, the beginning of this relationship because I think you're someone who, like, I look at, and I think so many people love you online because you're so confident and, like, you just give off this energy of, like, I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna stand by that. And I think people think that someone like, that can't get into this type of relationship. And it really goes to show.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I thought that too.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah, because you think that you're, like, above it or better, and you just. You don't understand. So I kind of want to go back to the beginning of your relationship and, like, what was it like, love bombing? That kind of. Who was this person that you, like, fell in love with before, like, a switch up started to happen?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah, this is an important conversation because, like, you just said, I before this, like, before I met him or whatever. If you were to tell me, like, my friend was going through what I was going Through. I'd be the strongest advocate for, like, get the fuck out. What are you doing? You're an idiot. Like, before I had met him, I was the most, like, confident person in the world. Like, I was just so sure of who I was and what I wanted and what I needed and what I deserved. And when I met him, I still was that person. So I, like, got into this relationship and I was praised for who I was. Like, I was with when I met him. He praised my job. He thought it was so cool what I did. Like, he loved that I was outspoken. Fuck. What's. There's a Taylor Swift lyric that literally, I resonate with it so much. Wait, I need to look at it. Look at it because it, like, is insane.

[Alex Earle]

From which song?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

My tears Ricochet.

[Alex Earle]

I'm learning. I'm learning. My.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

My Taylor Shay. Okay, so. Oh, my God, if we could do a whole separate podcast about Taylor Swift. Because that's like a whole nother conversation.

[Alex Earle]

We were just talking about how we're new found Swifties.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Oh, my gosh, it's Alex. I can't even. Oh, my God. The lyric is, because when I'd fight. Wait, I didn't have it in myself to go with grace. Because when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave. So in the beginning of our relationship, he was, like, so, like, amazed by, like, how much of, like, a strong woman I was. Like, I was so opinionated. It was like his favorite thing about me. Like, I was always, like, who I was in every room that I walked into. Like, that's who I was. I'm the same person in every room that I walk into. And slowly, like, as we started dating in the beginning, it was like a mirror of myself, which I obviously didn't know, but I was falling in love with him because I thought it was him, but I was falling in love with myself because when you're in a relationship with a narcissist, a narcissist, they just mirror, like, who you are. You're just falling in love with the person that you are because they, like, cling on to all your good parts. So he was, like, hyping me up for all these great things about me. He loved that I was outspoken, he loved my job. And then slowly and slowly, it just started deteriorating. It would start with little nitpicks about, well, I think you're better than this job, or I think, I don't know, you shouldn't really say that online, or I don't really like the way you dress like, just like, little things where.

[Alex Earle]

It'S like, okay, it makes you question, like, oh, like, yeah. Like, because, like, they have my back with everything else. Like, maybe they're looking out for me.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah. And they're so subtle. And the relationship is getting stronger. So you're like, oh, well, this is a more serious relationship. Maybe they're, like, more comfortable saying these things. So, yeah, maybe. I don't know. Maybe. Yeah, my job isn't the best. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't be saying this online. Maybe I am dressing wrong. Like, just, like, subtleties that would build up. It was such a mind fuck. Because you love the person, obviously, and you fall in love with this person and you trust this person. Like, the trust that I had. And I think the red flags and, like, what people should look out for is, like, such an intense bond so quickly, which, like, when you get into it, you think it's cool and it's fun, and you're like, this is my soulmate. But if someone is telling you they're your fucking SoulMate on day two of hanging out.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah, run for the fucking hills.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Like, what was I thinking?

[Alex Earle]

I know.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I was like, we're fucking soulmates. Like, oh, my God, there's a rock star loves me. Like, I was so stupid. And anyone that's like, anyone that says they wouldn't, they fucking would.

[Alex Earle]

Like, no, you don't know until you're in it. Do you think you were at all, like, blinded by the fact of, like, his status or 100%.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah, 100%. And I'll be so honest about that. Like, if this was. If this was a normal, like, Joe Schmo. A Joe Schmo. And, like, the first. The first time he would have said. Or not the first time, maybe, like, him getting me tattooed on him, like, after a week, I would have been like, that's fucking crazy. But because he was him, I'm like, oh, that's rockstar. But, like, that should have been a red flag.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And then, like, as things went on, I think, because it was important for me to have the conversation because this happens to so many men in power. Like, they just take advantage of women and no one talks about it because there's. When money's involved, everything gets, like, thrown under the rug and money rules everything. But, like, with him and with money and power, you're just surrounded by yes men. So, like, I would try to have these conversations with, like, his circle, and it would just be an echo chamber of, oh, he's just like a tortured Soul. He's just like this, he's just that. But it's like, no, he's just a bad person. You don't get to blame. You don't get to blame. Treating people horribly on your tortured soul. Just because you can write a song doesn't mean you can abuse people. Yeah, like, what the fuck is that narrative? I'm like, what are you talking about?

[Alex Earle]

Yeah, I definitely think when there is a type of status or fame or money involved at all, they can, you know, act a little differently. And like, even when I was dating someone in the past and I was like, younger and he was just more known than me and cooler and like, literally not even on your level at all, but, like, still, like, got to my head and he would do things and talk down to me and like, be like, well, you can't, you know, wear these things to these events around these people. And everyone was older than me too. That was another thing. And I just was like, oh, well, he knows better. But I was like, just because you have some type of fame or status or money doesn't mean you know better. Doesn't mean you're a better person. That messes with your head.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

The power trip thing too, isn't just when I say power trip or like, I don't know, just like holding power over someone, it isn't just because he was a rock star. It's the same thing when you're dating an older guy or you're hanging out with their older friends or they have like a big guy job, they make you feel less than or like that you're insignificant compared to what they do. That's not how people are supposed to treat people. And it's so looked over.

[Alex Earle]

And I also think because they have a certain status, you look up to that in a way. Or you're like, oh, you did something to get there, so you must be doing something right. Like, you. You're smart in some type of way, so then you kind of like, want to believe them or their opinion on things. I think at least for me, that's.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Like, yeah, it's like admirable.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah, you look up.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I mean, when you're little, you look up to. When you're a freshman, you look up to seniors. And it's like, for why? I don't know. Just because they're older and like, it's cooler. They have more life experience. So of course it's going to transfer into even like freshmen in college to senior guys or like senior older girls. You're like, they just know More. They're cooler, they're older. And it translates into, like, adulthood, too. When people are older and have, like, more experience, you just think they have more power over you. But it's a weird line where it's like, no, we're all human.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah. So how early into the relationship was he talking about, like, marriage or kids or, like, your future together? I mean, you said your second time hanging out, he was saying soulmates.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

So, Yeah, I mean, it was really quick. And here's the thing, because I guess, like, I don't know. I guess I don't know how real love works because I'm like, does, like, when did Braxton start talk? Like, do you guys talk about kids?

[Alex Earle]

Yeah. But I don't know when that started.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Really normal period, because I have erased all my memories from, like, old relationships because my last years felt like 10. I don't know how a normal relationship is supposed to feel. Like, I got into a relationship with him. It was one week into knowing him, and then we planned our next trip, and we never separated. Like, I was needing to be by his side at all times. We're talking about kids immediately, marriage immediately, family immediately. And I think a big red flag was that he was always focused on the future and not the present. So instead of just, like, enjoying, I don't know, this new blossoming relationship or, like, what should we do this week or next week? It's like, I can't wait in three years to buy a house and, like, have kids and, like, one day we're gonna be doing this. It was never like, what are we doing now? It was always like, one day. This is gonna be amazing. One day we're gonna have this house with these kids, and it's like, why can't you just focus on the now? I think that's a really big red flag.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah. And during that at all, did you, like, were any flags raised of, like, maybe this is a problem or, like, this is too soon, but, like, I'm having fun?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah. Well, it was more. So I was getting manipulated into. It's really different from my situation, like, specifically because of, like, who he is and his lifestyle. So I was manipulated into the sense that things weren't going to be normal in this relationship because his life's not normal, because he's, like, traveling. So whenever I would, like, I would talk about my. In the beginning of the relationship, I'd be like, I don't think this is healthy. I don't think this is normal. I would talk about it, and it would be presented to me as. No, you just don't get it. Like, this is my lifestyle. Like, I move fast, pace. Like, this is who I am. I'm rich, I'm famous. So I was like kind of belittled into thinking I was asking stupid questions or like this was supposed to be normal and like it was okay to talk about children. Yeah, Been dating for a month, like, stuff like that. And everything was just so steamrolled. And when it came to his emotions, he was allowed to have all of them. But when it came time for, like, me to talk about mine, I was always, you're being crazy, you're being insane. Or like, he would manipulate my, like, memory. So I, I would recall a situation or a conversation and I, we just had it. So I would be like, why did you say this? And he would twist it. And then what narcissists do is they like, they jumble you. So they like put you in this triangle where he would jumble your thoughts. So he would make you think, no, I never said that. And then he would throw all this random information about, like, previous fights or like upcoming things in so that it confuses you and you have nothing to rebuttal. Which I, I started like reading a lot, talking to my therapist about like narcissistic abuse. And that's like a really big flag is when you're facing, like, when you're confronting them about something, if they try to throw like misinformation at you or like bring up past situations, you're probably most likely dealing with a narcissist. They can't just like sit down and have a one on one about what you're upset about. Run for the hills. Because it's not gonna change.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

It's only gonna get worse. Yeah. It was terrifying. Like, there was no, there was no one time where I could sit down and tell my feelings. It was just, you're wrong. Why are you being emotional? And they make you feel crazy.

[Alex Earle]

That is.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

You said you were in something similar before.

[Alex Earle]

Yes. Like, not to the extremes of what you're talking about, but I think I kind of dealt with this with my boyfriend before Braxton. And he like played baseball and I thought he was so cool. And it was a very short lived relationship, I will say, because. Which is what I want to ask you in a second. But I would talk to like, my friends because I lived in a house with like six girls at the time. Yeah. But soon after we started like hanging out. He got a place in Miami and was like, I'm just gonna like, Move to Miami. And I was like, whoa. Like, okay. And I was just going into my senior year of college, so granted, I had a lot of other stuff to be distracted with. Like, had I not had all those things, would the relationship have ended? Like, I don't know.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah.

[Alex Earle]

And I just remember he would make me feel guilty about, like, going to hang out with my friends or there would be nights where he would tell me that I went out to a club and I just fully didn't. I was like, what are you talking about? And he's like, no, no, no. Like, my friends told me they saw you here. I was like, I was at home in bed. Like, I just don't know what you're talking about. So it's like, I understand the like, manipulation in a way where it like, makes you. Makes you think, yeah, you're crazy.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And it also makes you like, low key hate yourself.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Like, you're just always walking on eggshells. You shouldn't be with someone where you're constantly fearing a reaction. It was always constantly walking on eggshells. And I would. It's so crazy to be in a relationship where you're worrying about someone else's feelings so much. Like I said, like, always on eggshells. But then they're just stomping around and they have no care, they have no worry about how you feel, about how you react. They can do whatever they want, but the slightest thing that you do wrong, it's like a volcanic eruption. And it's so a child, a fucking man child.

[Alex Earle]

He would get mad at me and tell me, like, I would go over to his place to hang out and he would sit there and say, like, I can't talk today. Like, I spoke too much today. I don't want to talk. And then we'd sit there in silence. And I'm sitting there crying like, hello, like you're not gonna talk to me. And he would just sit and watch the TV as if I, like, didn't exist. And I sat there and I was like, this feels wrong. Like, this doesn't feel right. But then I was like, am I crazy? Like, was I being that much of a bitch? Like, to get this type of reaction? So did you tell anyone or like friends or family, like, what you were kind of thinking or experiencing at all? Or like, did you kind of keep it to yourself?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

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[Alex Earle]

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[Brianna Chicken Fry]

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[Alex Earle]

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[Brianna Chicken Fry]

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[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I kept. So in the beginning, I kept a lot of it to myself or when things were kind of getting crazy. There was this one month in October when I was on my. One of my podcast tours and I broke up with him when we were in Philly because he was just. It's when I still had a sense of who I was and, like, I wasn't so mind fucked by him. Where I was like, this is not healthy. This is not good. I shouldn't be having this reaction when I'm like, doing my tours and I'm like, doing my. Like, I shouldn't have someone that is tainting anything special to me. If you are with someone that ruins special moments for you, you should not be with them. And if it's a constant, like, I get it, maybe, I don't know, they get drunk one night and they're like, yeah, they mess up one night. But if it's a constant, like, they're searching to ruin your special moments, that's a monster. That is like, that is literally, they are envious of you, they are jealous of you, they want to be you, and they will do anything to tear you down. That's not a relationship. That is awful. So I was getting that sense of like, my tour had started and every. Every tour stop I was like, oh, what's wrong? Like, something's ruined. Oh, he ruined this for me.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

So we got into like an argument or whatever and I had broken up with him and I went home and I should have left it at that. But then wake up in the morning to the. You're the only girl I've ever cried for. You're the only girl I've ever begged for. And I'm like, so this man must love me. Manipulation. Like, what are you. What are we even talking about here? And then I went back, we talk and we get back together. That is the last moment that I, like, genuinely stood up for myself in the relationship. And from there on, it was just. It was just down, down, down. And I was beat down so much where I was embarrassed to fucking tell anyone because I knew I was going to say. And I think a lot of people experience this just from my DMs. Like, I'm everyone's first person they're telling. And I'm like, I get it, dude. Because when you're going through something like this, and like we said in the beginning, like, you're a confident person. You don't think it's going to happen to you. And you know you're going to go back because, you know the toxic cycle, you know that they're going to apologize. It's almost more embarrassing to, like, call your friend and be like, you don't.

[Alex Earle]

Want to hear it.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And you say the most outlandish shit. Like, my friends were like, what? In the beginning? And I was like, fuck, I can't keep telling them this because I'm gonna bring them to fucking Thanksgiving.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

So it's like, you're humiliating your partner, you're humiliating yourself, but in general, take that away. You're disrespecting yourself by being with this person. But in that, you can't see that because you're always trying to protect them.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

It's a constant. Like, you're their shield of protection when they would do nothing to protect you. So there was, like, a period of time where it was, like, the darkest couple months of my life because I talked about it on BFFs. Like, he completely isolated me from my life. I lived on a tour bus. I couldn't do things that I wanted to. Like, I couldn't go on the tart trip. I couldn't go. I couldn't do anything. And I, like, stopped doing my career. He wanted me to quit barstool. I couldn't talk to my family about anything. I wasn't home. So I was just in this bubble. And it was a constant. Like, it was a revolving door of my thoughts. Just, like, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And I'm like, I could tell my friends, one, are they even going to understand? Two, I'm kind of embarrassed. Like, I genuinely was embarrassed of what I was putting up with. And, like, to go from such a confident person and like a. Like a strong woman to, like, being abused is like, I felt embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed anymore, clearly, because I can talk about it. But I was disappointed in myself. And my narrative has changed a little bit because even when I first came forward with everything, I'm blaming myself a lot. In the video, like, in the BFF's video, I keep saying, like, I want to take half the blame, which is.

[Alex Earle]

Not your fault at all.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I'm realizing that and I'm talking about that. But it's so hard to, like, come to that realization, because when people treat you like that, like, why didn't I stand up for myself? Why didn't I do that? It's like, you really didn't have a choice. You were, like, being Put down.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah. I mean, I assume to that extent, like, you don't really understand until you're in it.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah.

[Alex Earle]

And I think, like, for girls listening, because I think when people are like, oh, like, how can you avoid a situation like this? Like, I don't think it's avoidable. Like, I think there's signs to, like, look out for. Because that's the whole point of it is it's like it goes right over your head that you don't even realize it's happening. But I think if you cannot tell your friends or, like, be honest with your friends or your family about what is happening in your relationship, like, that right there should just be, like, a. Not right there should be, like, blinking lights of, like, maybe something is wrong.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Like, if you can't tell your best friend, if you can't call your fucking friends or your mom and be honest with them about your relationship. If you have to hide anything about.

[Alex Earle]

Your relationship, it's probably not a good relationship. It's probably not good.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And, oh, my gosh, like, I'm talking, like, tens of thousands of dms about, I'm hiding this from my family. I'm hiding this. Like, I'm so embarrassed that that should be your first red flag, because I think, like, you just said it goes over your head in the beginning, and you're, like, so swooned. And you love this person because it's a mirror of you. You fall in love with someone that doesn't exist, they completely manipulate you. And you fall in love because you love people, and that's not a bad thing. And you shouldn't be ashamed of that. You're like a lover. You love someone, you take care of someone. But when it gets to the point where you're embarrassed to tell your friends, or you're like, I'm gonna go back to him. If you have to say, I'm gonna go back to him, you should never have to leave him to begin with.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah, no, it's true. And I think on the flip side of things, my sister had a boyfriend where she. I don't think he was the best at times. And she would tell me things, and I would, like, get so angry at her for being with him that she stopped telling me things completely, which then made me feel super guilty. So, like, what would you say you would have wanted to hear from someone or, like, advice for people on how to react to those type of things? Because obviously, as friends, you want to be truthful and be like, get the fuck out. But that sometimes doesn't Always work.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Everyone knows if their best friend or their sister, their cousin is in a toxic relationship. Like, if that's someone that you're close with, you know that. So you should approach with caution because clearly this person is stuck or they're staying for a reason and they feel trapped. So if you come in guns a blazing, like, you're a idiot, you have to leave. What are you doing? You're building a wall and you're closing. You're closing them in more. Like, they're gonna feel more isolated and they need you so bad. Like, they need you so bad. And for you to like, like, you can come in with tough love and be like, I love you so much. I don't think this is healthy. But whatever you choose to do, you're gonna say, I'm here for you. I support your decisions. I want you to tell me everything. I want you to be honest. I want you to be open. You can't come in with judgment because you're never gonna understand what they're going through unless you've been through it. And I know it's so easy to say, like, fucking leave, because two years ago, I would have been the girl. Fucking leave.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

This has changed my relationship with a lot of my friends because I had to, like, come full circle. And I had. I had a friend, one of my best friends in high school, who she was in this, like, crazy relationship. And we were all in the same friend group and he was like, completely, completely abusive. Physically abusive, wild shit. And we, like, continued after they broke up. Like, we were all in the same friend group. We kind of hung out with them. And I didn't think there was like. I don't know, I never thought about it twice. It was like high school, whatever. After I got out of this relationship, I went home and I was home for a while because I was, like, picking the pieces of myself off the ground, like, trying to become a person again. And we, like, all went out to dinner and I just, like, started sobbing because I felt like no one had ever seen her or what she went through. And I was like, I'm so fucking sorry that we continued to hang out with this guy or like, continued to invite him to things that we are doing. Even if it was three years after the relationship. Like, I couldn't imagine how invalidating that was to her and like, how just, like, unheard or unseen she felt. And she just had to, like, go along with it because everyone was friends with them after. It's like, it was really eye opening to see what Kind of friend you have to be to someone or what kind of friend, like, I needed during this whole experience. And I think you kind of have to give. Like, you can't be selfish during this. Like, you have to be there for your friend.

[Alex Earle]

And are your friends, like, understanding now of, like, yeah, what you were going through? Well, I mean, obviously, but like, yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Now we look back and. Because like I said, I kept a lot of it to myself and they, like, nothing ever seemed okay. Like, nothing. Nothing ever seemed okay. But I tried to play it off. Like, I tried to bring him to things. Like, I tried, man. And yeah, nothing ever seemed great. But I wasn't telling them, like, actually what was going on, you know? And now that I'm open and I'm talking about it with them and, like, I'm actually like airing everything out. We're, like putting all the pieces together and they're like recalling conversations with him and everyone just being like, Brian, I was so scared of him the whole time. He was so mean. Like, he made me feel so bad. Like, people are coming. Like, he made me cry.

[Alex Earle]

So he was mean to your friends? Like, scared of him.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

He was so mean. And then he would just be overly nice. Like this weird overly nice thing. And I feel so bad. Like, I have apologized to all my friends. Like, I am so sorry because I talked about it. I've talked about it. I, this year became a version of myself that I hated. Like, even in the past two weeks. I'm like a noticeably different human. But I, like, lost so many good things that I loved about myself. I loved how outgoing I was. Like, I used to walk into a room and I could talk to anyone. Like, I wouldn't adapt to the energy in the room. I would just bring my own energy. Slowly through dating him, I would just become like a fly on the wall. I would go to things and I'd just sit because I didn't know how to socialize with people anymore because I wasn't used to normal conversation. I was so isolated. And I was in like, this perpetual cycle of trying to defend myself or trying to get validation from this person. Like, I never had a chill. I couldn't just sit on the conversation, like on the couch and have a conversation. It was always such extreme conversations with him. Like talking about our deepest feelings or, like, how angry we are, how mad. Like, there was never just like, look at this funny tick tock. Like, there was like just.

[Alex Earle]

No, really.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

It was so extremities with this dude. Like, hot or cold. There was no, like, like, there was just no ease to it. And it, like, made me so, like, always on, like, lookout. I was always looking over my shoulder, like, what is. What conversation am I going to have next? I didn't know how to socialize anymore, so it turned me into, like, this shell of a human. I'll go home to my friends. They're like, who is this bitch? Like, I used to be so fun and outgoing, and I just turned into, like, a reflection of him. And it's so funny because in the beginning, he was a reflection of me. And then, like, slowly, he just, like, sucked the light out of me. And at the end of it, it was. It was weird because I obviously, I thought I was heartbroken when we had first broken up because I truly loved him. Like, I. At least I thought I did. I really cared about him. But I realized I wasn't heartbroken. Like, my soul was broken. Like, he just, like, took all of these pieces from me. I wasn't sad. I didn't miss him. I missed me. Like, I was mourning myself. I wasn't mourning the relationship. I got out of it, and I was like, fuck, I have to pick up all the pieces of me. Like, I don't even know who I am anymore. It wasn't, I need to fix this relationship. It was like, how do I get back to me?

[Alex Earle]

Yeah. Which I think is so apparent. And, like, just even, like, watching your videos right now, and it's like, I feel like the life is back in you. Or, like, it just. It's so inspirational to see how happy you are now, even though you're obviously still going through stuff and working on stuff, but, like, seeing that. And I think for other girls to see that, because I always say there's a side of a breakup that's, like, exciting. It really is. It's like, congratulations. You know, you like, getting yourself back. Because when you're in a relationship that's not good for you. You, like, you lose yourself.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah, you do. And that. That is, like, the crazy thing about it. Like, of course I'm still healing and I'm dealing with that, and I'm doing it online. Like, I'm talking to people about it, and I'm talking with people about it. But at the same time, like, I, for the first time, went back and watched all my old videos the other night on my main account, which is crazy, because the second I started dating him, I stopped posting on my main account because I, like, I don't know. I didn't know who I was anymore. I was like, I can't be outgoing. I can't do this. So I just posted on my spam and I went and watched my old videos and I was reminded of who I was. It was bizarre. I was like, oh, my gosh, that's. That's me. And this past year, I had become. And I was so, like, I was so mad at. People would always comment like, I don't even know who she is anymore. Like, she's changing herself. I'm like, no, I'm not. What the are you talking about? Because I was clearly, like, I was like, projecting. I'm like, shut up. No, I'm not.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And they were so right. I completely changed everything about myself. If you have to change yourself in unhealthy ways for a partner, that. That's not a good relationship.

[Alex Earle]

Like, so would he doubt, like, what you were posting or how your personality was, or did that just kind of, like, go away as a result of, like, the relationship and the trauma?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

It was. So at least for podcasting wise, there would be instances where he would bring up something that I said and it would cause a fight. Like, I called Jacob a lordy hot or something that. God, I was in jail for like, three weeks about that. And so I, like, slowly, after knowing the reaction of what I was going to say, held my tongue on a lot of stuff. And we talked about it on BFFs. Actually, like, it ruined, like, BFFs for a year. And I was. I couldn't talk about anything. We couldn't talk about my relationship. We couldn't talk about my life because we knew the repercussions of it. And, like, we all knew behind the scenes what was going on, but, like, obviously wasn't going to talk about it. And then through posting on social media, I would be posting on the bus or, like, doing like, my everyday videos. And, like, I don't even have anything to talk about. I don't do anything anymore. I literally sit here all day and just like, wait for him to come around and be nice to me or be mean to me or, like, it was so bizarre. I just completely forgot who I was for a man.

[Alex Earle]

And with those extremes, like, would there be extreme goods, like, good parts of it too?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah, in the beginning at least, there was, like, it was really fun because it was so new and it was exciting and, like, we were traveling and we were doing things. But then the extreme, like, the good extremes came only after the bad. So I think he would see that I was like, just like a. Just a shell of a Human. He'd be like, oh, I need to give affirmation. Or I need to, like, build her up a little bit to keep her around longer. I need to, like, make sure that she doesn't, like, dip out or say something crazy. So when I was really down, that's the only time he would be good. And he would, like, build me up just to break me down again. Build me up just to break me down again. It was just constant, constant, constant, until it turned into just bad.

[Alex Earle]

Mm.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And that's how you get stuck, because you're waiting for the good. So everyone's like, why did you stay? Why did you stay? It was because I was in that constant. Things would be bad. Build me up. Oh, it's lovey. It's good again. Like, there he is, there's that person. And then when it's all bad, you're sitting there waiting for him to be that person again. But. But one day it's just, like, gonna stop because you're stuck. And that's what people get stuck. For years, I've gotten people leaving their marriages and calling off, like, it's crazy engagements, being like, I've been with this person for 11 years, and your podcast just changed my life and my perspective about things. Which is crazy, because when I came forward with the podcast and didn't take the money, I didn't know why I was doing it. I just, like, it was a moral thing for me. It was more so, like, if I do take the money and I don't talk about it, I'm not going to be able to sleep at night. And, like, it's like a soul thing. Like a weird. Just, like, I need to, like, cleanse my soul of this in this situation. And how are you going to tell me I can't talk about what I went through and why am I going to protect you when you hurt me things? So I just did it solely because I was trying to take myself back and I didn't realize how many people I was going to help.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah. And did he not think at all, like, when you guys were dating that you would ever say anything or out him in any type of way?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I remember having this conversation with his manager one time where his manager would always tell me, like, you're the only one that can change him. You're the only one that can fix him. You're the only one that can, like, speak out on him. And I was in our backyard. This was like, after, like, a. Something, like, crazy happened, and I'm in the backyard talking to him about it, his manager. And he's like, he's gonna change. He's gonna change because you can expose him for all of this. Like, you are the only one that, like, has the power to change him.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And I always thought that was so fucking weird from that day on. I was like, the power.

[Alex Earle]

Doesn't sound like I have the power.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I'm like. I thought, like, he loved me, but, like, he's just with me now because he's scared that I'm gonna come out. Like, yeah, it was so twisted. That whole camp is in the head. And I'm like, what I have the power over? I'm like, shouldn't he change because, like, he wants to be a better person and, like, he loves me, we're dating. And not because he's scared that I'm gonna expose him? Fucking crazy. And I'm like, that's what that is. Like, the first time I finally started talking to my family about it, I called my aunt, and my aunt has been through all of this. Like, the only person from kind of like, Jump to End who I knew wasn't gonna judge me because she was in an abusive relationship before her husband. She's the happiest woman in the world now. They're adorable. So there is hope. But she was in a really, really bad relationship. And I remember her telling me stories, like, before this about shit he would do to her. So I knew I could call her and she wasn't going to judge me because she stayed for, like, three years, and I would tell her everything. And it got to a point where she was like, bree, this is not going to change. She's going to completely ruin your life. I don't even recognize you anymore. I love you. Stay as long as you want, but I don't. I don't even know who you are anymore. And that's kind of when I was like, all right, I'm checked out.

[Alex Earle]

So do you think if he. Because at the end, it was ultimately like, he left or broke up or whatever, he didn't break up and just kind of, like, skedaddled. But, like, do you think you would have, like, took the initiative to end it?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

It's so crazy. Well, I mean, I hope, because of all my videos, the reason number five fucking million to leave. Like, I would hope one day those work. But the ending was really weird in. I know everyone's like, he left you. He dumped you. He got caught on Raya. So we had to post an Instagram story. Like, there was a whole situation in that happened the night before we, like, broke up or whatever, he left to Oklahoma. It was crazy. It was horrible. And we, like, came to the conclusion we're gonna stay together, we're gonna figure it out, whatever. He goes back to Oklahoma. I didn't know he was cheating on me the whole time.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah. Wait, what was this part of things? I feel like I. I kind of.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Brushed over that because the cheating was the most normal part for me. I was like, oh, cheating? That's like, normal dudes cheat. But, like, he was cheating.

[Alex Earle]

When did you find that out?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I found out kind of like, well, the Raya thing. I was like, yeah, okay, this is crazy. And then I have all these girls DMing me, and then I have all of, like, just receipts and receipts of people being like, you guys were still dating. I didn't want to tell you all this stuff, which I'm like, dude, fuck you. Why didn't you just tell me?

[Alex Earle]

Yeah, it was really crazy.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Because if I knew, like, if I knew he was cheating on me, it.

[Alex Earle]

Would have been like, that's easier for me to leave. Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Because.

[Alex Earle]

Which. It sounds so weird, but it's like, sometimes the stuff that's, like, emotional or mental, it's so much more confusing than, like, a blatant out like, oh, someone's cheating on you. You're like, oh, by textbook. Like, I know what to do. But that's why I think it's so important that you're speaking on this stuff. Because people don't understand that that is, like, this the same, if not worse, to do to someone.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yes. The people that don't believe me or don't understand it, like, it's not for you. This is for people that are experiencing it right now. And that, like, that's why throw your stones at me. Fucking rip me apart. I don't care. It's not for you. I'm not doing it for those people. I'm doing it for, like, the tens of thousands of people that are losing their lives to these people, like, genuinely, like, absolutely losing themselves and miserable when they were great people. So I have all these people reaching out to me, being like, I thought I was just kind of with, like, a douchebag. I didn't realize that I'm, like, in emotional abuse right now. Like, this is not a normal way to live. This is not okay. You don't speak to people. You love the way that these people speak to you.

[Alex Earle]

No, it's confusing. It's like, you don't. You can't really wrap your head around it or you just think that it's, like, normal or they're in a bad mood or whatever, but it's like, do you have an example of something like, like, for any girl listening to, like, grasp of, like, an example of something someone would say to you or something like, he would say or do or try to, like, twist your mind?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Like, let me get out the book. I think, like, I'm trying to give, like, an example that wouldn't be specific to him. Like, kind of just like an overall thing. I think one thing that's really crazy and scary that a lot of people experience is the getting mad when you're hanging out with friends type of thing. Or like, not letting you hang out with your girlfriends or, like, wedging. Wedging themselves in between you and your closest friends. Why? Why would you want to do that? That is, like, clearly a tactic of isolation. I can understand, like, not getting along with friends. I've had plenty of boyfriends that are like, dude, your friends are kind of crazy. I don't really want to chill. They're out with us. They're hanging out. They're having fun. They're, like, not ruining the time. They're not, like, you can't hang out with this person or you can't be with me. If there's, like, a clear tactic of trying to draw isolation between you and your closest friends or, like, even family members, because that's. That's a big thing, too.

[Alex Earle]

Anyone else that you could have to, like, lean on or have for support, they try to turn you against so that it's like, ultimately you only have them. And that's like, the. The thing about it back and forth.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

So that's why you can't leave, because you're like, that's all I have. But it's all manipulation. It's all a tactic to make you believe that you're nothing without them. But it's like, look back and, like, do like a. Let's do like a reverse step thing. Like, if you were to look at your relationship and be like, why do I feel like I only have this person? Oh, maybe because they made me hate Melissa. They made me not hang out with my mom. They moved me out of my hometown, it's all going to lead back to that person isolating you. So in reality, you didn't need them. You needed your family, you needed your friends, and they took you out of the situation.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah. So if. If they're not letting you hang out with people that you loved before them, or they're, like, clearly, like, they try to like drop bombs or like try to like get in your ear about how this person isn't good for you or how that's like a toxic something. It's. Why are you doing that? That's my best friend. Which I think sister.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah. And people, it's probably like, oh, I don't understand how like they could just be like f your best friend. But like, whatever. It's like, maybe you have a fight with your friend or something or like, you know, you shit talk maybe a family member or something to your significant other and you kind of want them to just like shit talk back with you, but they start to like, twist it in a way of like, oh, that person's bad. And then you're like, oh my gosh. Because you're so heated in the moment of whatever you're upset about with that person that they take advantage of it to like twist it and make you think that that person, like shouldn't be in your life when in reality you're just having like a normal Tiffany, a normal tiff.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And then they'll bring it up like weeks later, a day later, or whatever when you're like, oh, no, I was just angry. No, but remember what you said and remember how they made you feel? Yeah, you're. This person's not good for you. It's like, no, we were just having like a normal relationship conversation where I can, I'm supposed to be able to say whatever I want. And it's judgment free zone. Like, no judgment here. We're not going to judge. But everything. That's another red flag. If they use like things against you, things that you have said previously against you, or they like hold things over your head. He would always do like kind gestures for me and talk about it for the rest of the relationship. Well, I did this for you one time. I did that for you this one time.

[Alex Earle]

I'm like, like, don't you remember, like, this, this and this. And it's like, okay, but we're not talking about that right now. We're talking about this.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

That's. That. That's the confusion thing I was talking about earlier where it's like they would just throw things. Well, remember I did this for you. I'm like, okay, the six things that you ever did for me. Why don't we talk about the 20 things a day I would do for you? But when you're a kind person and you love someone, you don't do them to like hold it over them. You just do it because you love someone.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And it's very clear when someone is like holding something over your head or like constantly bringing up that, like, one nice thing they did. Run.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

For the hills.

[Alex Earle]

Not good.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Scary.

[Alex Earle]

It is scary. And with social media, I want to know how you didn't like, crack ever or ever, like, just kill myself, like dead ass, like just flip out or like anything. Because I also feel like in recent months, like, people were just like hating on you to like hate on anything. And I feel like that would drive me crazy of like, if you just knew things and you were insane things and keeping all that in, like, I just can't imagine how that it was draining.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

No idea.

[Alex Earle]

You have?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

No.

[Alex Earle]

I feel like people don't give idea you enough credit for that as well as like keeping all that in while dealing with stuff online. And it's like, oh my God, it'd be so easy for you to just like step out and say something. But you literally just were like, quiet, silent.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Or like, I was a punching bag for everyone. Yeah. Which is, thank God it was me because I'm like, if anyone else was going through this, I'm like, genuinely, I would be so scared for them. It was probably the, like, right before we broke up in the previous two months, the worst two months of my whole entire life, I was in the darkest place that I like ever been in. And I don't think people understand. Like, I was experiencing extreme bullying, like from every angle, from people that supposedly loved me. And then online, like every day constantly with like made up narratives and crazy stories and like, something about me. I've just, I've never felt the need to like, defend my character. I feel like if you have to explain yourself, it's not worth doing. I think just over time, things show. And I think like, God's plan worked out for me where it's like I was able to show who I am through all of this and like, I made it through the tough points, but when I was going through that shit, it just made me so angry because you never know what someone else is experiencing. And I think it was clearly so obvious because the people that were so mean to me online were mean to me because of my relationship. And they were the ones, the first ones to be like, you changed yourself for this person. You're not the same person anymore. And I'm like, okay, you're laying out all the facts for yourself. I just wanted someone to be like, we need to save this girl. Like, she's clearly in a really bad place. Like, with. With a really bad person. But instead it was like, no, we're just gonna blame the women. It's just always blame the woman. And everything that I defended him for somehow became my fault. Everything that he did wrong somehow became my fault after coming forward somehow became my fault. Because I'm not, like, this perfect victim that people want me to be. Sorry, no one's going to be a perfect victim for you. And, like, sorry, I have spoken my mind on the Internet, and I am, like, a loud person, and I'm confident or I say things that you don't agree with. That doesn't mean that I didn't experience the abuse that I experienced. And for me to come forward was the hardest thing that I ever did in my life. Like I said, we recorded that episode. I accident. I didn't want to do it. I was on my bathroom floor, like, for two weeks straight. I couldn't even keep my eyes open. I was like, what the fuck? I was experiencing, like, everything in my real life, on top of having to navigate it publicly and then also being shit on while I'm throwing up on the bathroom floor because I want to fucking die. And to come out on the other side and, like, be able to talk about it and say no to the money. And I don't know. It was just. I'm really proud of myself for it. And if you want to still hate me after it, that's fine. I feel like I proved myself. I'm like, bitch, you could never. I'm like, you fucking. No way. No.

[Alex Earle]

Like, how did you not have a moment where you were just like, turn on the camera and start screaming? Because I would probably do that. And also, like, the fact of that you are navigating, knowing that if you say something, like, even short, like, I'm sure putting out the podcast episode was so scary because you're scared to do anything with this person. And then, like, coming out and saying something publicly, it's like, ptsd.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Like, that was.

[Alex Earle]

I couldn't believe. That in itself is the scariest thing I've ever heard.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Still, every time I talk about it, I'm so. I'm getting more comfortable and more comfortable, and I know people are like, she's milking it. She's still talking about it. I am healing out loud, and I'm doing it for myself and for all the other people going through it. Bitch, I'm the milkman. I will talk about it for as long as I want because this is my story, not yours, and I'm allowed to. You didn't experience it. I Did so I can talk about it for 12 million more fucking years if I want to. And I think, like, after I came forward with it, I still haven't. I think people are also not understanding. I am, like, still taking the high road of it. I'm like, barely saying anything.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I'm not getting into details. I'm just talking about, like, what other people should look out for. Like, what I experienced on a basis level or like, I'm like, scratching the surface on what I went through. And I think. Because I don't.

[Alex Earle]

I think for anyone with a brain too, I think that's obvious.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah, exactly. I think it's just so. Everything is so obvious. I've said. I said it before. I have painted such a clear picture, and if you can't see the picture that I've painted for you, then I cannot hold your hand and walk you to LensCrafters. Like, I don't have the time for that. I simply, like, do the math. I'm not a teacher.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And if you don't want to believe me or hear me or see me, like I said, it's not for you. And I. It's just. It's just so crazy because now my real personality is coming back and I'm like, kind of. It's like, I'm like, yeah, I'm outspoken. I'm not very, like, prim and proper and people are, like, confused. But, like, you just go back on my old videos, like, this is who I was before. It's just so obvious. I'm coming back to myself and like, like, not afraid of it anymore.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

So it's all out there online. You can do the homework.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah, no, that's true. And has he reached out to you at all since anything?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

No, he blocked me the day that he asked for the Bronco back and.

[Alex Earle]

Oh, did you give him the car back or did it get taken back?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

No, still have the Bronco.

[Alex Earle]

Oh, okay. That's cool.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

But it's not. We're, like, working on it. It's like, I don't have the plates or anything. We're like, we're working on it, but I still have the Bronco. No stump, but no, he blocked me on everything.

[Alex Earle]

Oh, yeah. What's up with the cat?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I'm never getting the cat back.

[Alex Earle]

Really.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And it was such a out of spite thing that he.

[Alex Earle]

And you can't, like, legally get the cat.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

No. Because we found it on his land, but we kept it because I begged to keep it.

[Alex Earle]

And what if you, like, kidnapped it?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Do you know how many Ops I have going to concerts. Try, but they are like, I have. Do you know how many people are going to his concerts wearing all of my merch? Like, wearing the smallest man Merchant holding up crazy posters and, like, waiting out at the tour bus to try to sneak on and steal some. It's hilarious.

[Alex Earle]

Like, I feel like we should set up.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I know.

[Alex Earle]

Girl gang organization to go get it. Someone could get it.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Totally could. We totally could. Oh, my gosh. There's, like, so many girls that are like, I'll take one for the team. I'll smash. I'll get. I'll get stump back. I'm like, don't do it to yourself. Don't do it. But we have ops out there. I just want the cat to be happy.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

That's all I genuinely care about. And I'm like, I'm a crazy cat lady. I'm obsessed with animals. And, yeah, I'm like, oh, if you want to give the cat back, but he's never gonna give the cat back. It's like a. That's so terrible at this point. It's just like a you to me.

[Alex Earle]

Which is fine.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

He can do as many as you want. Ufc that anything.

[Alex Earle]

The UFC thing was crazy. So that was, like, obviously on purpose to get you to see that.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Obviously. I'm like, if that is. It doesn't paint the picture enough for you. And I didn't even say anything. I didn't even respond to it. I was just like, guys, he is proving who he is over and over. And you still don't want to believe me.

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[Brianna Chicken Fry]

He's just a pussy. It's crazy. At this point, I'm like, you have all the money in the world.

[Alex Earle]

You're like, it's really, like, sad when you think about it, because it's like, they're so miserable.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

So miserable. So miserable.

[Alex Earle]

It's like, not everything should be that big of a fight or that big of a problem. Or it's like you. And then you forget that. Like, that was something where I went to, like, a pizza shop and there was a line and like, we. I was like, let's wait in the line for the pizza. And he was like, I can't be seen waiting in a line for the pizza. And, like, it was such a big fight. And then I was like, I want the pizza. Like, come on. And he wanted to go home. And then it was like, that was a huge fight. And I'm like, that shouldn't be a fight. That should, like, that shouldn't be a fight. Like, that's like, just the most normal thing ever to happen. That there's a line for the pizza.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And, like, don't you want to wait in line with me and, like, talk?

[Alex Earle]

Exactly. I'm like, it's a. Like, it should be fun that, like, we could stand in line together. And, like, your person is supposed to. You're supposed to enjoy those moments. Like, just not everything should be such a problem.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah. If there's, like, more than a fight, there just shouldn't be fights every day. There shouldn't be a fight every week. And I'm. I'm starting to realize, like, I ignored a lot of red flags, obviously, and I dated really good men before him, and they were like, great, and we ended on good terms. Everyone also thinks I ended horribly with all my ex boyfriends. We all ended with, like, a hug and a kiss. I love you. Like, I was 22, 23, like, the last time I broke up with boyfriends. And that's when it's like, people break up. It's okay. This is a different situation where I think people hold that over my head, where, like, I was kind of, like, crazy or shitty back then, but I was with such good people it that I feel like I didn't appreciate and I feel bad about it because then you get such a piece of shit and you're like, I didn't appreciate. Yeah, like, I didn't appreciate that you were like, even if we weren't gonna work out regardless, like, I didn't appreciate how good of a person you are. Because now I'm realizing it's very far and few in between of good men.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah, no, it is.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

It's Scary.

[Alex Earle]

It is scary.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I'm like, what the hell? I never want to date anyone again.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah, well, I think that's also good. Not good, but that's good that you're in that mindset instead of, like, trying to hop to another person. Oh, no. You know what I mean? Like, you need to, like, heal and. Yeah. What. What is this therapy you were talking about doing where it's like you're getting hooked up to something?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I haven't started that yet, but I'm just, like, doing regular therapy that it's called. So this person recommended it to me, where when you go through, like, traumatic relationships and you have PTSD after, you're like, your brain is rewired from a narcissistic relationship. Like, your brain is genuinely rewired. So there's this therapy. Fuck. I think it's like EDM or something. I don't know.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I don't know.

[Alex Earle]

It sounds. That sounds.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

It's something smart.

[Alex Earle]

Something with wires.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah. So they hook wires up to your head and they literally, like, change the wavelengths in your brain, and they like, make you react differently to triggering situations.

[Alex Earle]

That's crazy.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

It's really cool. It's really crazy. But I was told you have to, like, go through therapy first, like words and talking before you, like, step into a machine.

[Alex Earle]

So that's meant to rewire how you.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Think about certain things, how you respond to triggering situations.

[Alex Earle]

Okay.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Because after getting out of a narcissistic relationship, a lot of people are diagnosed with ptsd, which is just. I was like. And then I went to a fitting the other day, and they had the same scent, like, the same candle that I had in my old apartment with him. I. I was like, oh, my God. I walked in. I, like, started shaking. I, like, really had a shaky throat. I couldn't talk. The whole fitting, I was like, couldn't think about anything. I had to go to the bathroom. It was so crazy. And I'm like, holy. You don't realize how. How, like, deep rooted emotional abuse is until you are on the other end of it, honestly.

[Alex Earle]

So do you think you've even identified, like, all the triggers that would give you PTSD at this point? No, I think.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

And I was even talking about that with Rose. Like, it takes, like, she's still figuring it out. Like, it takes a lot, and it takes a lot of healing and therapy and honesty. So I don't. I think it's gonna be a long road. Yeah, I think it's gonna be a long road, but I don't Think people understand how much I'm helping them online. They're helping me, like, to be seen and just, like, not feel crazy to talk about it. Yeah, it's really helping me a lot.

[Alex Earle]

And what are your plans going forward? Anything fun?

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

We're booked and looking forward to. Yeah, I have something super exciting next week. I can't really talk about it yet, but I'm going to Taylor Swift this week.

[Alex Earle]

That's so fun.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

You guys have no idea. I'm going to sob my eyes out and I just want to put it on record. I know I was a hater. I'm a lover now. I was like. And I was never a hater. Everyone's like, you're such a swifty hater. I just wasn't the biggest fan.

[Alex Earle]

Yeah.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I didn't understand the hype, so maybe that's considered a hater. I totally get it now. I think you have to maybe experience something traumatic or like, yeah, realize, like, her lyric. I didn't realize how insanely poetic.

[Alex Earle]

I have to say, her songs that aren't the ones that are, like, the very mainstream ones are so good. And then still, I honestly, it was like, Jake and my friend Sally were like, you need to listen to these lyrics. And, like, just, like, read the lyrics. Read what's going on.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Yeah, just read.

[Alex Earle]

And then when I saw her perform, I just was like, she's so hardworking. She's so cool. I'm so excited for you to see her. Like, I just, like, that's all I talk about.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

All I talk about. I can't shut up about it. She's already my number one on Spotify Raft. I just became her fan. Like, I'm so excited. It's going to be a healing, spiritual experience for me because I've never related to lyrics so much in my life. And, yeah, I'm just excited to have someone like that to look up to now.

[Alex Earle]

That'll be really fun.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I'm really excited.

[Alex Earle]

So we'll leave on a piece of advice.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

A piece of advice.

[Alex Earle]

If you were to talk to someone of, like, in your situation, maybe like a year ago or six months ago, like, what is one piece of advice you would give to them to get the courage to get up and leave or to, like, recognize what's going on.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

This is good. I think if I were to, like, look at me four months ago, and I was like, really in the thick of maybe, like, realizing or not understanding what was going. I was just like, such. Such a shell of a person. I would ask myself, like, is any person, any relationship, anything in the world worth losing who you are for. There's, I don't think, a situation where that's ever going to be true. And if you look at yourself and you don't recognize yourself and you don't know how to talk to people anymore, like, hey, is anything worth losing who you are? No. And especially because, I mean, I feel like, like I said earlier, that relationship was a year and a half, but it felt like 10. You only have so many years, and you only have so many opportunities and experiences, and I missed out on so much on the past year. And nothing is worth, nothing that horrible is worth losing yourself over. So look in the mirror and say, you gotta sack up. It's scary. You gotta sack up. I like, I would pro like, I could have been stuck in that for 10 more years. Dude, you gotta sack up.

[Alex Earle]

All right, suck up, suck up.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Wait. Also, I want to say bye, but people always think that we hate each other.

[Alex Earle]

Wait, I. I was gonna bring this up, but I was scared. But I was talking about someone on my podcast and everyone was like that this is about Bri.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

I know. And I was like, we were dming yesterday. Everyone pitted me against everyone this year. It's crazy. But love you.

[Alex Earle]

Love me too.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

We don't need each other.

[Alex Earle]

My hands are really sweaty. Sorry. Okay, thanks for coming on, guys.

[Brianna Chicken Fry]

Thanks, Alex.

[Alex Earle]

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