Loading summary
Transcript2 lines
- [00:01]
A
This episode is brought to you by JCPenney. Yes, JCPenney. And if you've been there recently, you know it's the place to go for jaw dropping looks at brag worthy prices. They've got something special for every style and budget. Not to mention rewards and deals that make finding those hidden gems even sweeter. If you already shop JCPenney, you're already in on the secret. But if not, it's time to ask. Wait, am I sleeping on JCPenney? Shop jcpenney.com yes, JCPenney.
- [00:30]
B
I didn't know what anxiety was. I didn't know that I was experiencing my first ever panic attack. My dad took me to the hospital. What are you talking about? What's anxiety? I definitely don't have whatever, like, disease this is. It's like this evil person in your brain that you have to tell to stop. We're gonna be talking about anxiety today. There's just something about the summertime. I don't know what it is that brings up just like a new spout of anxiety for me. I think it's that I have, like, probably too much downtime. When I'm alone in my thoughts, too, too much and I have too much time to think. I get a little bit more anxious. So I know that I've talked to you guys about my anxiety before, and it was actually one of the first episodes I ever recorded for Hot Mess. So if you guys want more context or like, a way deeper dive into my anxiety, you can go back and listen to that. But I feel like I haven't given you guys an update in a while on my anxiety. Although it's, like, much, much better than it was, it's still something that I deal with all the time, probably almost every day. It's something that really never leaves you. So I want to, like, dive into all of it in this episode. I also have questions from you gu some. What would Alex do regarding anxiety and ways I could, like, be helpful or give any tips to you guys? Because I know it's just something that, like, you always feel stuck. Like, you feel like it's never going to end. Even as someone who's dealt with anxiety since I've been 14 years old, like, it's something that every time I feel it, I'm always like, oh, my gosh, is this the way I'm gonna feel for, like, the rest of the day, the rest of the week, the rest of the year? I just want to let you guys know that you're not alone. If you're dealing with anxiety and helpful. Hopefully give you some tips and tricks. And I'm also going to do my hair during this, so hopefully we can make it look a little cuter than it looks right now. Get ready with me while we talk about anxiety. So the four different topics that we're going to kind of touch on today are my anxiety and, like, what that looks like for me, my relationship to medication and having a good support system and getting yourself out of this funk. So starting off with my anxiety, and just to give you guys a little background on how this happened to me, how I got diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I was 14 years old, and I actually had no idea what anxiety was. It was right before my freshman year of high school. So I was getting my hair highlighted, wanted to look cute for school. I don't know what it was, the heat or whatever. Hungry. I ended up passing out, and I thought nothing of it until about, like, a month later. I was out to eat with my friends, and I just started, like, having that downward spot spiral of thoughts, which is like, the best way I can kind of describe anxiety is, like, you just get stuck and your mind just starts going. So I was, you know, a little hungry, sitting at this restaurant, and then I was like, oh, my God, what if I pass out? And I'm like, well, if I pass out, I'm going to hit my head on the floor. And then, like, that could be really bad. I could hurt myself. And then, like, what's going to happen? And I became so trapped in my own thoughts, and I didn't know what anxiety was. I didn't know that I was experiencing my first ever panic attack. And I think it's really important to just, like, shed light on panic attacks or what the symptoms are, because in the moment, I had no idea. And basically, I'm at this restaurant, the waitresses, I'm laying on the floor, they're fanning me off with a menu, and I'm with, like, two girls that I had just met that I was going to high school with. I'm like, what's happening to me right now? I remember feeling lightheaded. My hands were, like, super, super clammy. My heart was racing. And basically they called my dad, and my dad took me to the hospital. And I get to the hospital, they're like, nothing's wrong with you, sweetie. I'm like, no, you don't understand. Like, I was just dying. Like, da, da. I felt like I was also going to throw up at the same time. Like, I had no idea that I was experiencing a panic attack. And honestly, like, the hospital also didn't even, like, suggest that that was something that could have happened to me either. So I just really had no idea. So now all of a sudden, in my head, I'm like, great. I have some, like, huge health issue. I don't know what's going on. I got all these, like, brain scans because I started to freak out then about having a panic attack. I just was like, oh, this is going to happen to me. Like, I'm going to go to school and I'm going to get sick. And. And then I started to freak out about getting sick. So I feel like my anxiety has always centered around some type of, like, health issue. I mean, if you deal with this, then I think you'll know what I'm talking about. And if you don't, you're probably just going to think it sounds crazy, but it is just the reality for me. Like, it always centers around me potentially, like, passing out or something going on, and it's just this, like, crazy downward spiral of negative thoughts. As I entered my freshman year of high school, still not knowing what anxiety was, it just became debilitating for me. Like, the first thing I would do when I woke up in the morning was run to the bathroom and puke because my body was already, like, wired and going. And, like, I just couldn't get myself to calm down no matter what I tried. I'm like, I'll take some deep breaths, like, what's going on? And, like, my family also didn't really know how to help me or what was going on, and I didn't really know how to explain, explain it. I didn't know something like mental could make you feel so physically ill. I just thought that something was wrong with me. I thought it was. I had some sickness. The first few months of school were terrible for me. Like, I had to leave after probably second or third period every day. I went home and my parents just kind of thought. They were like. At first, you know, they're like, alex, like, come on. Like, stay in school. What's going on? And I was like, you don't get it. Like, I. I just feel so ill. And, like, I remember the second my parents would pick me up, I kind of felt some type of relief. And then I was like, is this all in my head? Like, I was just so, so confused. One of my doctors was like, maybe you should go to therapy and, like, talk to a psychiatrist and, like, see what's potentially going on with you. So I went to a Therapist for. Actually, this wasn't the first time I went to a therapist because I had to go when I was younger because I can't stand the sound of my mom swallowing and chewing. But that's a different issue. I actually went back to the same therapist I went when I was younger, and she was this older woman, and she was like, maybe you're dealing with anxiety. And I looked at this woman, like, it was like, she's speaking a different language to me. It's like, what are you talking about? What's anxiety? Like, I definitely don't have whatever, like, disease this is. And then when she started to, like, break it down for me, I was like, oh. It just became so clear and it was so relieving to hear and just understand, like, of why I was feeling this way. Obviously, my symptoms didn't just, like, go away and I wasn't magically cured. Like, just understanding what it was really helped me and, like, being able to say it out loud or, like, just classify it as something, because I, for a few months, just thought I was, like, dying and had no idea what was going on. Therapy was helpful and just being able to, like, talk about my emotions or what I was feeling. We would dissect my dreams. But also, going to therapy was really, really hard for me because anytime I left the comfort of, like, my bed, which I felt like my bed was my safe space space, I just started to freak out. So I would take therapy sessions sometimes laying down on this woman's couch with my feet above my head because I was afraid of passing out. Like, it truly was just, like, so debilitating for me. And I just wanted to solve it. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be like the other girls in high school. Everyone would have sleepovers with each other, and I would try and I would go over and literally pack, like, chickens in my bat. Like, I took a rotisserie chicken in my sleepover bag one time because if I didn't have food, I felt like I was going to pass out. And I was so anxious about it if they didn't have, like, snacks or something in their house. So, like, I just wanted to get to normal and be able to enjoy high school. And, I mean, life even. Like, I just felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt so, so trapped. So therapy was a really, really great stuff start. My therapist ended up recommending that I probably go on medication. So this was sort of the first step to getting my anxiety into a better place. And I'd say, now, like, I'm obviously Able to live and travel and go out and do things. And, like, I may not appear anxious to the outside person, but even like yesterday I'm taking a hot Pilates class, and then I sit there and I'm like, oh, my God, am I about to pass out right now? Or maybe I'll throw up. And then I know now how to control my thoughts where I have to tell myself, I'm like, alex, shut up. Like, seriously stop. And it's like this evil person in your brain that you have to tell to stop. So I'm much better about it now, but I want to go into OR first. What would Alex do about your guys questions on anxiety? How do you deal with change? You seem to always be moving, traveling, and that just makes me so anxious. I'm about to pack up to go to college, and the thought of packing up my things and changing my entire routine again is sending me spiraling. So this might actually come as a surprise to some of you guys because I'm always traveling and I basically live at the airport. But traveling was actually something for me that was very anxiety inducing, even until I was in college. And I think I, like, just started traveling a lot more. I would feel, and I know this is gonna sound crazy, like some of you guys who don't know what I'm talking about are gonna be like, you sound like a crazy person right now. But it's just how I felt. I would travel and I would get this feeling of spaciness. I couldn't comprehend that I was in another part of the world. Like, I was like, oh, like, I'm not near home. Like, I just would feel, like, spacey, lightheaded. I was like, are my feet really even on the ground here? And it was always like a weird sort of uncomfortable feeling when I got to a new place. It wasn't necessarily that that the trip made me anxious, but more so, like being somewhere else in the world, like, kind of tripped me out and I felt, like, very out of it. So. So I want to talk about three tips to kind of help you when you're feeling anxious or out of it or feel like you're spiraling that have personally helped me. One of the first things I do, like, physically to get myself calm is there's a breathing technique called 357, which I think I learned maybe in therapy. But basically breathe in for three seconds, hold it for five seconds, and then breathe out for seven seconds. It's just supposed to calm your nervous system down. That's kind of what these little Tips are. The other one I know is you put your finger in your ear, and then you kind of, like, pull down on your ear. And I actually think I learned this one through Tik Tok. It does kind of, like, feel like a good release. After I'm like, okay, I'm feeling a little bit more calmer. There's cold water on your wrist. There's also, if you eat, like, sour candy. This is like, another random trick that I've learned. But, like, something about that or the sensation of that is also supposed to calm you down, so. Because I guess now people are a little bit more open about their anxiety. And I have a lot of friends who have anxiety. I have been in a lot of situations where I feel like I'm the one giving a friend advice. And when I'm having anxiety, I try to channel myself giving someone else advice. Because when you're in that moment, like, it's this feeling of, like, I know that they feel stuck, but, like, I know that it's going to be okay. And when you are in the moment where you're feeling very anxious and panicked and you feel stuck, it's hard to, like, imagine that there's, like, another side to it. So I kind of try to channel that feeling of when you feel someone else in a position like this. And I think it's also an element of, like, distracting yourself. Get your mind off of the spiral of thoughts you're having. So count numbers, count backwards, look at things around the room. Like, do anything to distract yourself. And then the third one is, sometimes you really just need to, like, have a good reality check with yourself. I can't explain to you guys how many times I have been in a bathroom mirror since staring at myself. And I'm like, alex, you need to calm the down. Like, you need to get it together right now. Like, it is okay. And sometimes you just need to hear that. Like, it's this voice inside your head. I don't know, give it a name. Like, imagine it as a person. And you were like, you need to be quiet. Shut up. Like, calm down. And it honestly does help me at times. Like, I've done that a lot in, like, airplanes in the bathroom in there. And I just have a quick little chat with myself. It helps. And it just, like, kind of grounds you and brings you back to reality. It's really, like, telling yourself to stop. Like, there's this spiral of thoughts going on. It's not going to get better. Like, you need to, like, get in the middle of it and put your Foot down and need to be a little bit of a bitch. But those are some of the things that help me when I'm feeling stuck and in those moments. So let's do another. What would Alex do? Hi, Alex. I was wondering if you were able to first tell the differences between stress and anxiety. I have a hard time being able to disturb, distinguish the two, and then it's too late to fix it. By the time I realize which one it is, I just let it build up, which I know isn't good. I think this is a really, really, really, really great question because I think it's something I see a lot on. Like TikTok, for example. People are like, I'm having anxiety about this or whatever. And I think are kind of using the word anxiety to just supplement that. Like you're really stressed about something, which is fine, but I think it's just something to be aware of. Be cautious, you know, when you're using that word or how you're taking it from someone else's point of view. Because it can get confusing. Distinguishing stress versus anxiety and anxiety. And the best way I could describe it is it's like a crippling feeling, like you are having, I would say, much more physical symptoms, and it's sort of overruling and overtaking anything else in that moment. Like, you're not really able to be super, super anxious about something and then like, also going about your day if you are having, like, a really bad panic attack. So I would say look out for, like, the physical symptoms. Like, there's lightheadedness if your palms are getting really sweaty, if your heart's racing, and then also the thoughts that are going on inside your head. I would say that's probably a symptom of anxiety. It's just, like, clouding your brain and it's sort of this, like, paralyzing feeling. But if you're stressed about something, it's like you're stressed about something, but it's like, oh, I can say, can still like, go and get a coffee or go make my dinner, whatever you're doing. So I would say anxiety is a little bit more of, like, a crippling feeling. And it is really important to distinguish the difference between the two, because there is a difference, I would say, in either scenario, because you said, like, sometimes it's too late and you don't know, but just trying to, like, calm yourself down and maybe using some of those, like, tips or tricks we just talked about to help yourself just right away. And I just want to be Very clear and honest with you guys. Those tips and tricks obviously help me a lot. And something I still, like, practice week to week. I had to actually get on medication for my anxiety, which I got on really young. I was just about turned 15, so I was experiencing anxiety and panic attacks for about, like, four months. And my therapist had recommended that I get on medication. And. And I'm very stubborn when it comes to medication, just in general. Even if I'm, like, sick or hungover or what, I'm like, I don't need an Advil. Like, I don't need anything. Like, I was always kind of just like, I'll do it myself, like, I'll figure it out type of mentality. So I was never someone who, like, liked to lean on any type of medication in general. So when she first brought this up to me, I was like, this is not happening. Like, no. And something else people get really scared of with medication is just that it's something you're gonna have to, like, rely on for the rest of your life. And that might be the case. And that's something I was also really worried about in the moment. I was just like, I don't want to have to use this for the rest of my life. Like, I want to fix it on my own. For me, the extra support was just sort of essential. But the best way that it was described to me was that there is, like, a chemical imbalance in my brain. Like, there was something missing, and the medication was going to be the only thing to, like, boost that part up, which is what I needed to, like, balance myself out. And that sort of just made me feel better about it. And, I mean, my anxiety just really got to the point where I was like, all right, I. I guess I will try anything. So I started Lexapro, and I'm really lucky and thankful that it ended up working for me. I know some people and I know friends who have had to try, like, different medications before they find the one that works for them, because everyone is different and reacts differently to things. But I actually really didn't have any side effects. And increasingly, over time, my thoughts just started to become a little less. Like, that voice in my head just started to get quieter, like, as the months felt went on. So it wasn't something I, like, felt right away. It's not like a Xanax. Like, there was one time I was having a panic attack, My mom gave me a Xanax. And, like, you just feel very calm right away. It's not like that, but more so subtly over time. And it was really, really helpful for me. And also just helpful, I think, in the way that I kind of retrained myself to think about anxiety and the way I feel and sort of just taking it day by day of, like, we're gonna get through this today. We'll figure out tomorrow, tomorrow. And I think that' also kind of helped me overall with my anxiety is just like, if I think about this medication, I think about taking it for the rest of my life. Like, then I'm gonna freak out and whatever, but I'm like, you know what? Today I need it, tomorrow I need it this week I need it. And, like, we will go from there. There was times that I tried to get off of it, like, before I went to college, because I still kind of had that, like, stubborn thought when I got to the end of high school and was like, well, my anxiety feels like a lot better now. Like, I could make it through a whole day and, you know, not have any bad thoughts. But when I tried to get off of it, I started to get those thoughts again. So it kind of just became a decision that I made for myself of, like, you know what? I'm taking this. It's only helping me. I'm not having any side effects from it, so I'm going to stay on it. Obviously, I'm not a doctor, so take everything I say with a grain of salt. This is just what works best for me. And with that, let's go into our last what would Alex do Of the episode. How do you not push people away when you are experiencing. Experiencing intense anxiety? So this is a really, really great question and brings up a really good point, because it's really easy when you're feeling anxious to kind of want to isolate yourself. There's moments where, like, I would just leave the room and, like, go away and, like, go sit in silence. And it's not something you really want to talk about when you're experiencing it, But I would say what is most helpful for me when I'm experiencing anxiety or panic attack is talking about it to the people around me. And it's sort of a sensation of when you say it out loud, you know that, first of all, someone's there to help you if you were to need any type of help. But second of all, sometimes it just makes it a little less scary. Like when you talk about what you're feeling or why you're feeling that way, or the thoughts that are going on in your head and you say it out loud and you're like, Wait, this is sort of stupid. Like, why am I feeling this way? Like, I don't know. And not that it, you know, completely solves the issue, but I've found for me it's really, really helpful and being honest with the people around you and sharing that you're feeling that way. It sounds like it's something little or light, but it does really, really help. And especially if you're someone who has anxiety about like a health scare, like me, I'm always like, okay, well if something happens now, this person knows I'm feeling this way and they can look out for me. They can like call 911. Not that that's ever been the case. No matter how stressed I am, how convinced I am that like I, I am going, I'm dying, I'm passing out, hitting the floor, like, this is my moment. It truly is such a mental game. And I think that's the hardest thing to comprehend because you get such physical symptoms from it. But like, if you can conquer those mental symptoms and the voice inside your head and the thoughts, then like the physical symptoms will disappear and go away and get so much better. So sometimes I know it's hard for other people if they don't experience this to understand exactly what you're going through. But the people around you love you and want to support you and want to be there for you. So I really do think opening up to them helps. And I just want to let you guys know I love you and I'm here for you. And I really enjoy these sit down chats. Like I know we did one on the long distance relationships. Just feels good. Like I love being able to help or hopefully this makes someone else feel a little less alone and can just give you some hope that it does get better and it's not. You're not going to stay stuck like that forever or stuck in your thoughts forever. And there is another side to it. There's so many of us that deal with this. So I think it really helps me a lot of times too just to feel like I'm not crazy and I'm not alone. Because sometimes the like direct people in my life, like my best friends, like they don't necessarily deal with this on the level that I do. So it is really nice to just like have this community where I feel like we can all rely on each other. And if you guys want to hear, hear about anything else or hear more on this topic or other topics, leave it in the comments below so I can put out a good episode for you guys. And hopefully be helpful in any advice or experiences that I've had. And this is the final hair. We've got to let it drop a little bit. We went for a super curly look today and just want to say I love you guys and I will see you next week. Bye.