Hot Mess with Alix Earle – Episode: "Single Isn’t Sad"

Release Date: October 17, 2024

In the "Single Isn’t Sad" episode of Hot Mess with Alix Earle, hosts Alix Earl and Ashton engage in a heartfelt and candid discussion about the societal perceptions of being single, the benefits of embracing singlehood, and strategies for navigating breakups. The episode is filled with personal anecdotes, practical advice, and empowering insights aimed at redefining the narrative around singleness.

I. Welcome and Personal Updates

The episode begins with Alix expressing her excitement to reconnect and share recent personal experiences, setting a warm and relatable tone for the conversation.

[01:43] Alix Earl: "I think learning a new language is a great challenge for ourselves. Makes you better, makes you smarter, also gives you a good hobby."

Ashton shares her recent experience attending a modeling camp in New York City, detailing her initial apprehensions and the transformative impact it had on her confidence and aspirations.

[02:36] Ashton: "I was really scared, but the second I got there, I was like, wait, this is really fun and cool."

II. Embracing Singleness: A Positive Perspective

The core of the episode revolves around challenging the negative stigma associated with being single. Alix and Ashton emphasize that singleness is not a state of sadness but an opportunity for personal growth, freedom, and self-discovery.

[23:53] Alix Earl: "Being single is actually, like, very fun and a very positive thing."

Ashton echoes this sentiment, highlighting the importance of enjoying one's own company and the freedom that comes without the constraints of a relationship.

[24:33] Alix Earl: "I think being single is so fun. But I think... it's okay to still be upset, but you have to get out of the house and do things and hang out with your friends and distract yourself."

III. Navigating Breakups and Emotional Healing

The hosts delve into the emotional challenges that come with breakups, offering strategies to cope and heal effectively. They introduce the concept of a "breakup glow up," a structured approach to moving forward post-breakup.

[25:48] Alix Earl: "What do you say is a good amount of time to be sad before you start your next phase of the breakup?"

[26:43] Ashton: "I was terrified of being lonely... through your breakup, you have to go out and say yes to everything."

Alix emphasizes setting a time limit on mourning and actively engaging in self-care and social activities to promote healing.

[32:08] Alix Earl: "You have one month to cry, one month to sit in bed. And then you have to have a breakup glow up."

IV. Strategies for a Successful Breakup Glow Up

Alix and Ashton provide actionable tips for listeners to reinvent themselves and regain confidence after a breakup:

1. Self-Care Appointments: Schedule appointments like nail art, haircuts, or facials to feel rejuvenated.

   [36:27] Alix Earl: "Make your friend cut your hair or get some fresh highlights. Change it up."

2. Musical Transition: Create separate playlists for sad moments and empowering tracks to shift moods.

   [37:36] Alix Earl: "You're gonna dance in the mirror after you have all of your little beauty appointments."

3. Social Engagement: Reconnect with friends, engage in new activities, and embrace the single lifestyle fully.

   [44:34] Ashton: "Being single is, like, such an important time to, like, take opportunities and, like, try new things."

V. Reframing Dating and Building Healthy Relationships

The conversation shifts to dating while single, emphasizing the importance of self-prioritization and authenticity in relationships. The hosts advocate for dating with the right mindset rather than seeking validation.

[42:38] Alix Earl: "I feel like girls need to be more selfish when they're dating. They get so worried about, like, what the guy thinks of them."

[43:32] Ashton: "You should be taking these opportunities to, like, say yes to everything and, like, be a little crazy."

They discuss the pitfalls of seeking relationships out of fear of loneliness and the value of allowing connections to develop naturally.

VI. Listener Questions and Practical Advice

Alix and Ashton address listener-submitted questions, offering tailored advice based on their discussions:

1. Handling Awkward Situations with Ex-Friends at Weddings:

   Listener Question: "My friend is getting married and my ex-best friend is going to be in the wedding. We haven't talked in five years. What should I do?"

   [55:30] Alix Earl: "You really just need to suck it up and be an adult... Be the bigger person and be happy for your friend who's getting married and focus on that."

2. Losing Feelings for a Long-Term Boyfriend:

   [56:00] Alix Earl: "If you're just losing feelings for him, then I would probably say it's okay to break up. You shouldn't stay in a relationship that isn't suiting you just because you're afraid of losing a friendship."

3. Feeling Neglected by a Boyfriend When with Friends:

   [60:00] Alix Earl: "If it's him just getting along with your friends, I think that's nice. But if he's not paying attention to you when you're together, communicate your feelings clearly."

VII. Emotional Connections and Host Dynamics

Throughout the episode, Alix and Ashton share moments of vulnerability and mutual support, reinforcing their strong friendship and the emotional depth of their discussions.

[53:10] Alix Earl: "I miss you so much."

[53:14] Ashton: "I miss you too. I wish I could hug you right now."

VIII. Conclusion: Celebrating Singleness and Moving Forward

The episode wraps up with Alix and Ashton reiterating the positive aspects of being single. They encourage listeners to embrace their independence, pursue personal interests, and maintain strong friendships, framing singleness as a fulfilling and empowering phase of life.

[52:05] Alix Earl: "You have the freedom to just do whatever you want and not have to cater to anyone."

Notable Quotes:

• [25:08] Alix Earl: "I think it's so fun. But I think... it's okay to still be upset, but you have to get out of the house and do things and hang out with your friends and distract yourself."

• [37:36] Alix Earl: "You're gonna dance in the mirror. You're gonna dance in the mirror."

• [44:34] Ashton: "Being single is, like, such an important time to, like, take opportunities and, like, try new things."

Key Takeaways:

1. Redefining Singleness: Shift the perspective from viewing being single as a negative state to embracing it as a time for personal growth and freedom.

2. Healthy Breakup Strategies: Implement structured approaches like the "breakup glow up" to heal and reinvent oneself post-breakup.

3. Authentic Dating: Prioritize self-worth and authenticity in relationships instead of seeking validation or fearing loneliness.

4. Strong Support Systems: Maintain and strengthen friendships and family connections as pillars of support during singlehood.

Final Thoughts:

"Single Isn’t Sad" serves as an empowering guide for listeners navigating the complexities of being single and post-breakup life. Through honest conversations and actionable advice, Alix and Ashton inspire their audience to celebrate their independence, foster self-love, and build meaningful relationships grounded in mutual respect and authenticity.