Single Isn’t Sad

Summary

Hot Mess with Alix Earle – Episode: "Single Isn’t Sad"

Release Date: October 17, 2024

In the "Single Isn’t Sad" episode of Hot Mess with Alix Earle, hosts Alix Earl and Ashton engage in a heartfelt and candid discussion about the societal perceptions of being single, the benefits of embracing singlehood, and strategies for navigating breakups. The episode is filled with personal anecdotes, practical advice, and empowering insights aimed at redefining the narrative around singleness.

---

I. Welcome and Personal Updates

The episode begins with Alix expressing her excitement to reconnect and share recent personal experiences, setting a warm and relatable tone for the conversation.

[01:43] Alix Earl: "I think learning a new language is a great challenge for ourselves. Makes you better, makes you smarter, also gives you a good hobby."

Ashton shares her recent experience attending a modeling camp in New York City, detailing her initial apprehensions and the transformative impact it had on her confidence and aspirations.

[02:36] Ashton: "I was really scared, but the second I got there, I was like, wait, this is really fun and cool."

---

II. Embracing Singleness: A Positive Perspective

The core of the episode revolves around challenging the negative stigma associated with being single. Alix and Ashton emphasize that singleness is not a state of sadness but an opportunity for personal growth, freedom, and self-discovery.

[23:53] Alix Earl: "Being single is actually, like, very fun and a very positive thing."

Ashton echoes this sentiment, highlighting the importance of enjoying one's own company and the freedom that comes without the constraints of a relationship.

[24:33] Alix Earl: "I think being single is so fun. But I think... it's okay to still be upset, but you have to get out of the house and do things and hang out with your friends and distract yourself."

---

III. Navigating Breakups and Emotional Healing

The hosts delve into the emotional challenges that come with breakups, offering strategies to cope and heal effectively. They introduce the concept of a "breakup glow up," a structured approach to moving forward post-breakup.

[25:48] Alix Earl: "What do you say is a good amount of time to be sad before you start your next phase of the breakup?"

[26:43] Ashton: "I was terrified of being lonely... through your breakup, you have to go out and say yes to everything."

Alix emphasizes setting a time limit on mourning and actively engaging in self-care and social activities to promote healing.

[32:08] Alix Earl: "You have one month to cry, one month to sit in bed. And then you have to have a breakup glow up."

---

IV. Strategies for a Successful Breakup Glow Up

Alix and Ashton provide actionable tips for listeners to reinvent themselves and regain confidence after a breakup:

1. Self-Care Appointments: Schedule appointments like nail art, haircuts, or facials to feel rejuvenated.

   [36:27] Alix Earl: "Make your friend cut your hair or get some fresh highlights. Change it up."

2. Musical Transition: Create separate playlists for sad moments and empowering tracks to shift moods.

   [37:36] Alix Earl: "You're gonna dance in the mirror after you have all of your little beauty appointments."

3. Social Engagement: Reconnect with friends, engage in new activities, and embrace the single lifestyle fully.

   [44:34] Ashton: "Being single is, like, such an important time to, like, take opportunities and, like, try new things."

---

V. Reframing Dating and Building Healthy Relationships

The conversation shifts to dating while single, emphasizing the importance of self-prioritization and authenticity in relationships. The hosts advocate for dating with the right mindset rather than seeking validation.

[42:38] Alix Earl: "I feel like girls need to be more selfish when they're dating. They get so worried about, like, what the guy thinks of them."

[43:32] Ashton: "You should be taking these opportunities to, like, say yes to everything and, like, be a little crazy."

They discuss the pitfalls of seeking relationships out of fear of loneliness and the value of allowing connections to develop naturally.

---

VI. Listener Questions and Practical Advice

Alix and Ashton address listener-submitted questions, offering tailored advice based on their discussions:

1. Handling Awkward Situations with Ex-Friends at Weddings:

   Listener Question: "My friend is getting married and my ex-best friend is going to be in the wedding. We haven't talked in five years. What should I do?"

   [55:30] Alix Earl: "You really just need to suck it up and be an adult... Be the bigger person and be happy for your friend who's getting married and focus on that."

2. Losing Feelings for a Long-Term Boyfriend:

   [56:00] Alix Earl: "If you're just losing feelings for him, then I would probably say it's okay to break up. You shouldn't stay in a relationship that isn't suiting you just because you're afraid of losing a friendship."

3. Feeling Neglected by a Boyfriend When with Friends:

   [60:00] Alix Earl: "If it's him just getting along with your friends, I think that's nice. But if he's not paying attention to you when you're together, communicate your feelings clearly."

---

VII. Emotional Connections and Host Dynamics

Throughout the episode, Alix and Ashton share moments of vulnerability and mutual support, reinforcing their strong friendship and the emotional depth of their discussions.

[53:10] Alix Earl: "I miss you so much."

[53:14] Ashton: "I miss you too. I wish I could hug you right now."

---

VIII. Conclusion: Celebrating Singleness and Moving Forward

The episode wraps up with Alix and Ashton reiterating the positive aspects of being single. They encourage listeners to embrace their independence, pursue personal interests, and maintain strong friendships, framing singleness as a fulfilling and empowering phase of life.

[52:05] Alix Earl: "You have the freedom to just do whatever you want and not have to cater to anyone."

---

Notable Quotes:

• [25:08] Alix Earl: "I think it's so fun. But I think... it's okay to still be upset, but you have to get out of the house and do things and hang out with your friends and distract yourself."

• [37:36] Alix Earl: "You're gonna dance in the mirror. You're gonna dance in the mirror."

• [44:34] Ashton: "Being single is, like, such an important time to, like, take opportunities and, like, try new things."

---

Key Takeaways:

1. Redefining Singleness: Shift the perspective from viewing being single as a negative state to embracing it as a time for personal growth and freedom.

2. Healthy Breakup Strategies: Implement structured approaches like the "breakup glow up" to heal and reinvent oneself post-breakup.

3. Authentic Dating: Prioritize self-worth and authenticity in relationships instead of seeking validation or fearing loneliness.

4. Strong Support Systems: Maintain and strengthen friendships and family connections as pillars of support during singlehood.

---

Final Thoughts:

"Single Isn’t Sad" serves as an empowering guide for listeners navigating the complexities of being single and post-breakup life. Through honest conversations and actionable advice, Alix and Ashton inspire their audience to celebrate their independence, foster self-love, and build meaningful relationships grounded in mutual respect and authenticity.

Transcript

[Alex Earl]

Expand Your horizons in 2025 by learning a new language. Rosetta Stone's immersive lessons guide you to think in a new language from day one. I know we're all setting New Year's resolutions for ourselves right now, and I think learning a new language is a great challenge for ourselves. Makes you better, makes you smarter, also gives you a good hobby, something to keep yourself busy. All of you guys, all the Earl girls can take advantage of Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership. For 50 off, visit rosettastone.com Hot message that's 50% off. Unlimited lifetime access to 25 language [e-mail] Hot mess the New Balance 1080 is the ultimate daily trainer combining reliable comfort with top tier performance. I love New Balance sneakers. I mean for the girls who are running, good for you. I'm not a runner. I'm probably more so wearing these to like the coffee shop or the grocery store. But The New Balance 1080 features a cushion midsole for secure support and comfort. It's lightweight, breathable and it is good for an everyday on the run. On the go shop the 1080@New Balance.com welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earl. Don't forget to subscribe like follow this podcast wherever you're listening. Watching Happy Thursday. Welcome back. Wait, did I just turn that off? How do I get that back on? I'm a hot mess. I'm actually very excited to sit down and talk to you right now.

[Ashton]

Are you?

[Alex Earl]

I was just, I was just all stressed out and I was like, I'm so excited to talk to Ashton. Yay. This is like very therapeutic.

[Ashton]

It is. This is like my weekly therapy that I should probably get a real therapist. But.

[Alex Earl]

So when did you get back from New Orleans? I mean from model what? Maybe I should have a sip of water. When did you get back from New York?

[Ashton]

This morning. I landed at 8 00am and I had a 9 30am class that I had to make it too. I was running a Tyco. Yep. I had to wake up at like 3:30 this morning. But it was actually fun because I went and stayed at my friend's apartment and we got dinner last night in the city. So that was fun.

[Alex Earl]

Well, Ashton just came back from a little model excursion in New York City. She went to model camp.

[Ashton]

I did go to model camp.

[Alex Earl]

Can you tell us what happened?

[Ashton]

Yeah, it was really fun. Which actually I don't think I told you this like so I went home for two days because it was my fall break before I went to the camp. And the whole time I was home, I was like, I don't want to go. Like, I'm really scared. Like, it's. It's going to be weird and I'm going to, like, not know anyone and I'm going to be all alone. And I was really scared, but I was like, no, Ashton, you always bail on things. So I went. And then the second I got there, I was like, wait, this is really fun and cool. So pretty much the first day when we got there, we, like, checked in and then we had like, a little, like, small group convo with Coco, who, if you don't know Coco Rocha, she's the queen of pose. She runs the camp. She's awesome. Love her. So we each had, like, a little chat with her about, like, where we are in, like, our modeling careers and, like, showed her, like, what did you say? Which I was like, I've never modeled before professionally, but I've always wanted to get into it. But. But I never really had the confidence to like, even like, say I wanted to do it. Honestly, it was like the TikTok commenters that were like, really gave me the confidence to, like, go for it. Cause I was like, you should model. You should model. Cause, you know, like, when like, you or mom or like, one of my friends would say it, I'd be like, you're just saying that cause I'm tall. Like, that means nothing. Yeah, but then it was like, everyone.

[Alex Earl]

Wait, this is so cool.

[Ashton]

I know. Okay, so everyone was just like, you should model.

[Alex Earl]

My sister's a model.

[Ashton]

I'm not a model at all. But, you know, we're just trying it out.

[Alex Earl]

Ashton's first photoshoot shows me these photos, and she's literally, like, doing these crazy model poses. And I was like, you need to be a model.

[Ashton]

I don't know about crazy model poses, but, you know, it's just kind of like, fun. You just go with it and then if you look like a freak, they'll tell you and like, switch it. But yeah, so we had a little chat with Coco and then we had like, a tour, and then they kind of had like, themed dinners.

[Alex Earl]

A tour of what?

[Ashton]

Of, like, where we were staying and like, the studio where we'd be, like, meeting and practicing and then.

[Alex Earl]

Wait, were they. Were they housing you?

[Ashton]

Yeah, it's like a.

[Alex Earl]

Wait, can you, like, were you at, like a sleepaway camp?

[Ashton]

Yeah, yeah, it kind of was like a sleepaway camp. We stay there for three nights. So the first day was check in day. We talked to Coco about her portfolios. And then we had like a little portfolio class just kind of going about like the basics of how to like build your book and like what you should and shouldn't put in it and all this stuff. And. And then the next day we had posing class at 9am so which was like three and a half hours. It was crazy. Cuz also Coco is like known for doing like super weird, like crazy poses, which I'm like, all right, well I'm just going to look like a freak. But so pretty much she just gave us like a little spiel and then we went over like we. She kind of like broke it down. So it was like first we did like facial expressions, like different like ways to move your face. And then she was kind of saying that like, you lead a lot with your should. You're supposed to lead with your shoulders. And like everyone's first instinct is to like sit into their hips and like hand on hips, which she had us do. Like the first minute we got there. She's like, I'm gonna play music for a minute and just do a bunch of poses. And I was literally standing there like, hand on hip, hand on hip. This is so awkward. And then she was like, yeah, you're all doing what you should not be doing. And then she broke it down. Like how you like extend your arms and your legs like through. Through your movements and all this stuff. And oh my God, she also did this thing where she had us like play sit down and she played like a sad song and she's like, I want you all to cry. Like make yourself cry. And I made myself cry on command.

[Alex Earl]

What did you think about?

[Ashton]

Nothing. It's a secret.

[Alex Earl]

Oh my God.

[Ashton]

No, I'm actually.

[Alex Earl]

Wait, I've never heard you so passionate talking about something ever. I was just about to say, I was like, this is the most I've ever heard Ashton talk in your entire life. Is this like you're like passion?

[Ashton]

Well, it's. I don't know about like passion, but like it's been like a secret little like Delulu dream of mine to go into modeling. And I always like, was just like, oh, it's never going to happen, obviously. And now I've like had these opportunities to go into it kind of and like try it out and I'm just really excited. So pose class. I cried. She also had us jump for three minutes straight. Just like up and down, up and down, up and down. She was like, why? I don't know. She was like, you know, sometimes you need to like, build up your endurance. She was like, it's kind of just to like, see like, where you are at, like, physically. Because she's like, sometimes you don't know what you're walking into on a shoot. Like, they could have you like, running, jumping on a trampoline for like the whole day. You know, stuff like that. She's. It was giving like America's Next Top Model. Like, she was like, building. Like I was imagining those like, crazy scenarios where they would like, hang them from like the cranes and shit. So that was the first half of the day, which was like three and a half hours. And then we had a lunch break and then we came back for the walking class, which was so fun. I could have done it all day. But first. So really, if you saw that picture on my Instagram where I'm like, we're like all leaning like all the way, arched back, like, pose 28, undress to impress, you know?

[Alex Earl]

Yeah.

[Ashton]

So she had us walk like the Runway a few times like that. Because she's like, you're supposed to like, put your hips forward and like, shoulders back and like, kind of like lean a little bit when you walk. And then the next day was our photo shoot day. So fun. So we did like one full body look and then like one like, beauty shots. Like just like your.

[Alex Earl]

When do we get these photos?

[Ashton]

They said eight days.

[Alex Earl]

So by the time we have to. I. We have to put them in. Overlay the episode right now because by the time this comes out, we're going to have the photos.

[Ashton]

And then the second half of the day was like a business class kind of. So it was talking about like, agencies, contracts, social media, all that jazz. That like business class was super informative. And then we did like a whole like group picture with everyone and we had like a final chat with Coco and yeah, that was it. But it was really fun and I'm really glad I did it cuz I feel like I learned a lot and it pushed me out of my comfort zone, which we love to do these days. Cuz I.

[Alex Earl]

Well, yeah, you seem like, very happy and confident. I haven't gotten one word in this episode yet.

[Ashton]

Sorry. All right, I'm done. But yeah, that was my model camp experience.

[Alex Earl]

Wait, that's really fun.

[Ashton]

Yeah.

[Alex Earl]

I'm happy you did it, cuz I was always like, you should just try modeling. Well, good job. I'm so proud of you.

[Ashton]

Thanks.

[Alex Earl]

I.

[Ashton]

You tell me.

[Alex Earl]

My skin is really bad. Yeah, I'm. I'm coming. Don't worry.

[Ashton]

I'm Dog coming in hot.

[Alex Earl]

I'm coming with the complaints. My skin is really bad right now, and it's kind of red. Well, it's actually really red. It's, like, burnt off. I don't know if you can really see right now, but I tried to put on some makeup over it because I got a facial this morning and she did, like, all these chemical peels. But I take spirit lactone, which helps with my skin. But I forgot to take my prescription for the past two weeks. And my skin, I have, like, welts on my neck, and I just, like, I forgot, like, having them on my neck. It hurts so bad. Like, it hurt on your neck? A big ass welt.

[Ashton]

I guess it's.

[Alex Earl]

You're it. It hurts so bad, and I'm just in a lot of pain and.

[Ashton]

Oh, do you want me to come snuggle you, baby?

[Alex Earl]

Yes. It's okay, though. I feel like I have, like, a better head space about when I get acne now because I know that, like, I've been through it so many times and then it clears up. So I'm just like, okay, well, it'll get better, but. Because usually I just get look really depressed, but it is just like, I hate it. I hate it so much. Yeah.

[Ashton]

My skin is not.

[Alex Earl]

It's so frustrating. Good.

[Ashton]

Either, like, my whole jawline and, like, my cheeks have been breaking out really bad. And I don't know, some. A few people have said I should get spirit. What is it, Spear? No, lactone. Spiral?

[Alex Earl]

Yeah, it's like if your testosterone's too high, so it can, like, lower it down. Wait, I don't have pcos.

[Ashton]

You don't? How do you know?

[Alex Earl]

Because I went to a general practitioner. Doctor. Okay.

[Ashton]

Big girl things.

[Alex Earl]

Wait, but did you know you're supposed to do that?

[Ashton]

No.

[Alex Earl]

Right.

[Ashton]

Like, no one tells us, like, things.

[Alex Earl]

But, like, you graduate college and then it's like, oh, my God, like, you're supposed to just find yourself a doctor. Like, I had no idea. So I haven't been to the doctor since we were going to, like, the pediatrician.

[Ashton]

I still go to the pediatrician, but.

[Alex Earl]

Like, who's supposed to tell you these things? Like, mom didn't say, like, hey, go get a doctor. So I just, like, didn't have a doctor for just, like, general needs. And I didn't know there was, like, an adult doctor. Maybe this sounds really dumb right now, but I went to the general practitioner, and he did all my blood work on everything in my hormones and food sensitivities and everything. And he Said that I don't have pcos. At least it looks like I don't.

[Ashton]

I want to do that. I want to go to a doctor. What else is new with you?

[Alex Earl]

Well, I was supposed to go to Disney this weekend, and you know how I always say that, like, when I plan things, like, they never work out?

[Ashton]

Do you always say that? Actually, you do always say that. I remember, like, the boat with Mother's Day, especially.

[Alex Earl]

No. And with Braxton, like, anytime I put my name on something and I plan something and I book something, like, somehow it just, like, it never works. Like Mother's Day, I booked a boat. The boat just, like, literally blew up, like, an hour go on it. And then I booked this trip to Disney for Braxton's birthday because they have an off week for football this week, so we get to, like, go do something. And I booked us to go to the Four Seasons Orlando.

[Ashton]

That's so fun.

[Alex Earl]

Which. Which, let me tell you, I think that baby spiked up those prices. I'm not kidding.

[Ashton]

The Four Seasons Orlando, baby. Yes, well, the Four Seasons is an expensive hotel.

[Alex Earl]

No, but it was, like, abnormally priced. I was like, this baby did something here, and I was not happy about it, but I was like, let's go, Four Seasons. Happy birthday, Braxton. Well, he actually didn't want to go to Disney, but I was like, you're.

[Ashton]

Like, I want to go to Disney. Weren't you just at Disney in Paris?

[Alex Earl]

Yeah, but, like, not like, I want to do, like, real Disney things. So anyhow, I booked Disney, and now there's a massive tornado coming through Florida.

[Ashton]

A tornado? Oh, I was like, a tornado? I didn't hear about that one.

[Alex Earl]

There's a massive hurricane coming, and Disney's shut down, and, like, so is the Four Seasons, so Disney's not happening. And I was gonna stay in Miami, but honestly, it's gonna be raining here and, like, really, really windy all week, so I would have had to, like, stay in my apartment the whole time anyway. And I figured I might as well go home to New Jersey and see, like, the kids and see dad and everyone. So me and Braxton are leaving.

[Ashton]

Oh, Braxton's going to be really.

[Alex Earl]

But the little ones don't know yet, so I'm going to surprise them. I think I'm going to pick them up from school tomorrow.

[Ashton]

Oh, my God, they're going to be so excited. Being home right now is the best. Like, it is my favorite time of year. I got my pumpkin spice, rook. I got the pumpkin bagels from Bagel Nook. And, like, the weather is perfect. It's, like, sunny and 70 degrees and breezy and the leaves are changing colors. You don't know how passionate I am about the season of fall. It's.

[Alex Earl]

Well, we don't have fall in Miami.

[Ashton]

We don't really have it in New Orleans.

[Alex Earl]

Doesn't happen. I'm craving the crispy leaves. I'm gonna take the kids because they have off school Friday. Me and Braxton are going to take them to a pumpkin patch.

[Ashton]

Can I come?

[Alex Earl]

Pumpkins.

[Ashton]

Can I come?

[Alex Earl]

Yeah, come back.

[Ashton]

I'm going to Vegas again.

[Alex Earl]

Okay, well, pause on that, because I'm not done right now.

[Ashton]

No, I know. Keep going.

[Alex Earl]

But they also just announced a rook, which. Anyone listening? Rook is this coffee place in New Jersey, and it's like. It's not even coffee. I. It's like, God's so good. It's so.

[Ashton]

Milk.

[Alex Earl]

It's. No, it's rich, but it's. I don't know. It is thick. I don't.

[Ashton]

Best coffee ever.

[Alex Earl]

Because I. I have coffee every day of my life, and I've never had coffee that is even, like, 1/10 as good as this.

[Ashton]

No, rook is the best by far because it's just, like, their cold brew. It's not like it's an espresso. And my favorite thing is because I hate sweet drinks and, like, sweet coffee, when they have a flavor, they don't, like, put in a flavored syrup. They, like, brew the coffee with the flavors in it, but there's no added sweetness. And it's just.

[Alex Earl]

No, it's.

[Ashton]

It's.

[Alex Earl]

They're so. They just.

[Ashton]

They get it.

[Alex Earl]

They posted something today.

[Ashton]

Oh, my God.

[Alex Earl]

It was a Reese's peanut butter coffee. And I said, hello. And they were like, we'll be out this month. And I was like. I commented. I was like, well, I'm gonna be home this week, so can you please release it?

[Ashton]

I commented, too. We have to go home before Thanksgiving to get it. If they don't have it now, I'll.

[Alex Earl]

Be home before Thanksgiving.

[Ashton]

Like, the week of, like, Thanksgiving break.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah. Before we go to Wisconsin.

[Ashton]

Okay, cool. Same.

[Alex Earl]

Okay. Very excited for fall. I'm gonna have a fall week with the little siblings.

[Ashton]

Are you excited to see the little duckies?

[Alex Earl]

Wait, when did we get ducks?

[Ashton]

I asked Penelope. I went over on Thursday. I was like, when did we get these? She goes, yesterday. Like, wait, what?

[Alex Earl]

Every time we go home, there is a new animal there?

[Ashton]

No.

[Alex Earl]

Like, I swear to God, there's a goat, there's a horse, There is a Pig. There's a leopard.

[Ashton]

There's not even funny because, like, we always joke, like, yeah, every time there's a new animal, but it's. It's real.

[Alex Earl]

It's not. It's literally not a joke. Every single time I go home, I make a tick tock and I go, every time I come home, there's a new animal in the house. And this week it's a duck. And we didn't process because. Because we have baby chicks. So when you sent me the ducks or you posted them, I was just thinking, like, oh, more baby chicks. I was like, oh, we've already had those. But then I realized, holy shit, they're ducks. I saw their little feet with the webs. Wait, so what are we gonna do with ducks when they get big?

[Ashton]

I don't know. Ducks are cute, though. I like ducks, but.

[Alex Earl]

So there's.

[Ashton]

There's two yellow ones and, like, a brown one.

[Alex Earl]

Divas.

[Ashton]

And I was like, penelope, what. What are their names? She goes, duck, Duck and Goose. I was like, that is so funny. They're the worst at naming animals.

[Alex Earl]

We have so many animals that none of them don't have names, like, because.

[Ashton]

They change them every day.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah, like the. The goats. I'm. It was like, Billy, Willy. Then it was like, I don't know.

[Ashton]

Yeah, there's.

[Alex Earl]

There's four goats. But, like, they don't really have names. And then the pigs are like, do they have names either?

[Ashton]

Because everyone always asks too. They're like, like, all these animals, like, what are their names? I'm like, I have no idea. I could.

[Alex Earl]

They're like, made up names. Every time we come home, they have a different name. Yeah, but I'm so excited to go home.

[Ashton]

I love our little farm.

[Alex Earl]

I'm so excited to go home. There's nothing better than going home. Like, there's just no better feeling in the world.

[Ashton]

Yeah.

[Alex Earl]

That's why I, like a big hug.

[Ashton]

I, like, didn't want to leave for the model camp because I was home. I was like, wait, I can't leave.

[Alex Earl]

Wait, what does it mean if my. My hand. Like, when I was sleeping on the plane the other day and I woke up, my hand was numb and I couldn't feel, like, my pinky down, but I still can't feel it.

[Ashton]

Oh, you.

[Alex Earl]

Is that bad?

[Ashton]

I think so. You might have, like, some circulation problems. I think I have circulation problems.

[Alex Earl]

Like arthritis?

[Ashton]

No, that's, like, your joints.

[Alex Earl]

Well, my pinky's numb. And this pinky I already can't feel because remember when I Fell down the stairs and cut myself. Well, so I haven't felt this pinky in years, but this pinky is now also numb.

[Ashton]

It's okay. You don't need your pinkies for anything.

[Alex Earl]

Wait, I'm so. Are you excited for Vegas?

[Ashton]

I'm so excited for Vegas. So, like, my whole grade. It's like the senior Vegas trip that, like, a bunch of colleges do every year. University of Miami is going to be there. Actually, I was talking to Katie today, and she was like, we might leave tomorrow because we don't want to, like, have our flights canceled because of the hurricane.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah.

[Ashton]

So I was like, you're gonna go to Vegas on a Wednesday till a Monday? And she was like, yeah, I'm kind of scared.

[Alex Earl]

Way too long to be in Vegas.

[Ashton]

I'm already scared to go Friday to Monday.

[Alex Earl]

I'm like, yeah, no, people left on Sunday when we went because they were like, we need to get out of here.

[Ashton]

Yeah, no, I'm really scared, but I'm.

[Alex Earl]

Like, more than two days in Vegas is pretty scary.

[Ashton]

I know I've only been. I've been twice, but I've only been for, like, one day both times, so.

[Alex Earl]

And it's enough.

[Ashton]

Yeah, but.

[Alex Earl]

Well, you're gonna have so much fun.

[Ashton]

I know. I'm really excited. We booked it, of course, like, through one of those, like, college, like, party tours things, and they, like, book you all at the same hotel.

[Alex Earl]

University.

[Ashton]

Yeah. And then. Oh, and then they, like, plan all the events for you, but they always plan, like, the worst events, so we're all like, no. Going to different events anyway.

[Alex Earl]

No, it's like, all my friends, they're so fun. They're so fun. And, yeah, everyone stays in the same hotel. You check in. It's, like, madness checking in.

[Ashton]

I'm so excited.

[Alex Earl]

Oh, my God. I remember my Vegas trip. My Vegas trip, actually. I hit 100,000 followers on Instagram, and.

[Ashton]

I was like, wait, I remember that was, like, one of your first videos that, like, kind of blew up was your Get Ready With Me in Vegas. And I was like, oh, my God, yes. Because someone else, like, stitched your video or something. And I was like, whoa. Like, they just stitched Alex's video. Like, she's kind of like, people know.

[Alex Earl]

My Get Ready With Me is in Vegas were, like, popping off. And I was like, wait, what's happening?

[Ashton]

That's so funny. Oh, my God, I'm so crazy.

[Alex Earl]

That's been two years. That's kind of disgusting.

[Ashton]

Wait, it feels like a century ago, though. But it's also no, it doesn't.

[Alex Earl]

That feels like yesterday. I mean, being in Vegas feels like a century ago, but, like, I don't know. Crazy.

[Ashton]

So much has happened since then.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah, that is. That is quite crazy. I remember we ended up at, like, some weird crazy after parties in Vegas, too. We went with one of the DJs that was playing at the club. Wait, the chainsaw?

[Ashton]

No, I feel like it's always the chain smokers.

[Alex Earl]

The. There's this one club that, like, the stripper comes down from the ceiling with, like, a bottle. You have to go. It's.

[Ashton]

What's it called?

[Alex Earl]

It's by Caesar's Palace. I don't know. It's the club. But, like, literally, they. They bring you the bottle service from the ceiling. So, like, a stripper comes down on, like, a tightrope and, like, brings you the bottle.

[Ashton]

I.

[Alex Earl]

Is that excess omnia? Oh, no, not excessive. It might be omnia. I don't know.

[Ashton]

I'll do my.

[Alex Earl]

Excess is in the win. Excess is really fun, though.

[Ashton]

I've never been to the win, so.

[Alex Earl]

What are you saying? Wait, don't say. Don't say danger, danger, danger, danger.

[Ashton]

Don't say what I'm saying. Yeah, I've only been to, like, the fountain blue, though. But I'm so excited. We just. My friends and I just booked, like, one of those shows. It's called Thunder Down Under. It's like the Magic Mike show, but with Australian men. And I'm so excited.

[Alex Earl]

That's fun. When I went to Vegas, I was in charge of booking, like, the male strip show for me and my friends. I was like. I was like, oh, this one is, like, a magic show. I was like, this is a lot of fun. Like, this is really cool. Like, I personally love magic. I used to do those little kits from, like, David Blaine when I was little and I wanted to. I was an aspiring magician, so I was like, let's go to a magic strip. Like, this is cool. This is fun. And I thought it was, like, gonna be really crazy. And we get there and, like, we get a glass of wine, we sit down, and everyone in the audience is, like, five and six years old. And I was like, what's. What's going on? And it just so turns out that it was a children's magic show. And, like, the magic wasn't even real. It literally, he would, like. You would see him, like, do the trick, like, behind his back. He would, like, take something off and then be like, poof. And everyone was like, wow. And we were the only people, like, over the age of, like, 10 in there. Besides the parents, that's a big flaw. I know. My.

[Ashton]

My friends and you made. They all had to pay for this show that you booked. Yes.

[Alex Earl]

I was like, guys, the tickets are almost sold out. Like, we have to get them now or it's going to be too late. But, like, this is just another example of every time I book something, it's wrong.

[Ashton]

Yeah, maybe you should just let someone else do everything for you.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah, whatever. But, you know, maybe we should get into the hot topic of the week, per se.

[Ashton]

Yeah, let's quit yapping our topic this.

[Alex Earl]

Week, which is going to seem a little bit. It's gonna seem a little bit odd coming from us, maybe, but I feel like I get so many questions all the time of, like, how to be single or how to find a boyfriend or, like, I'm going on dates. How do I make him love me? How do I. Whatever. But I'm like, being single isn't such a bad thing. Like, I don't know why everyone takes it as, like, the most, like, negative thing of your entire life. I feel like being single is actually, like, very fun and a very positive thing.

[Ashton]

And I think it's very important to be single, like, during some portion of, like, your young adult life.

[Alex Earl]

I don't think it's as sad as people make it seem. Like everyone's like, oh, how do I not be single? Like, it just. I feel like if you're in the single phase, just, you got to enjoy it.

[Ashton]

Like, you got to.

[Alex Earl]

You're not going to be single forever.

[Ashton]

You got to embrace the singleness. Exactly. You're not going to be single forever. And when you're single, you just have the freedom to do literally whatever you want. Like, going out is so much more fun, in my opinion, when you're single, because, like, you never know where the night's going to take you. Like, I. I have had the weirdest, funniest stories of going out, like, of my entire life from being single.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah. And just, like, people say single as if it's like, a bad thing, a curse word. They're like, single. But, like, when I hear single, I'm like, that's great. Not. Not for me, obviously. But. No, but seriously, like, I think it's so fun. But I think. I mean, I guess there's a few things that, like, throw people off. But I guess the scary thing about being single or I guess going from a relationship to being single is. Okay, wait, hold on, Backtrack. Let me just clarify one thing here. Being in a relationship is great, but you shouldn't be in a relationship that you don't want to be in just so you're not single.

[Ashton]

Yeah, I agree.

[Alex Earl]

Like, that. Just what are you doing when you're.

[Ashton]

In a good relationship? It's great. Obviously, that's what everyone wants to be in, like, a good, happy, healthy relationship. But so many people are just, like, dating loser guys and putting up with terrible things just because they want to have a boyfriend for some sort of, like, yeah, security or something.

[Alex Earl]

But, like, if I wasn't happy with Braxton and, like, things weren't going great, like, I would be like, all right, break up. Like, Like, I'll be single. That's fine.

[Ashton]

Like, people should not be scared to, like, leave a shitty relationship, because being single can be so fun if you have the right attitude about it.

[Alex Earl]

I feel like we need to do, like, a crash course on being single, because there's a lot of things that go into it. One is loneliness. And I feel like a lot of people don't want to break up with someone because they don't want to be lonely.

[Ashton]

Yeah, I went through that. I was terrified of being lonely. Foreign.

[Alex Earl]

This show is sponsored by Better Help. The New Year's is coming up. We have 2025, which is crazy that it's already 2025, but we have a whole year ahead of us, a blank slate. I love the New Year because I feel like you get to kind of start over, start fresh, set some good goals for yourself. And I think a lot of the times we'll set New Year's resolutions, they kind of end up fading by, like, halfway through January, or by the time you get to February, you completely forget about them. But a really way to set resolutions for yourself and help yourself become a better person, work on yourself, is through therapy. And that's something that I did this past year that I really, really loved. I mean, you can think of therapy as like, your editorial partner, helping you write new chapters and create the meaningful story you deserve to live. And I love Better Help. It is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. It's serving over 5 million people worldwide. You can access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. And you can easily switch at any time with no extra cost. Write your story with better help. Visit betterhelp.com hot mess to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp help.com/hot mess. Let's talk about quitting vaping and Smoking because it's a journey that can feel impossible without the right tools. That's where Jones comes in. Jones offers holistic support to help you quit nicotine altogether together or simply cut back. Find out why over 20000 quitters use Jones to help them reach their goals with nicotine. Head to quit with Jones.com and use code hot mess for 15 off your first order of nicotine mints. Jones is FDA approved and available for those that are 18 and older.

[Ashton]

I just feel like so many people are like so scared to leave a relationship because they like rely on their happiness on their like significant other and they don't know how to like be happy or don't know what to do alone, which is kind of a toxic place to be in in the first place. Even if you're in a good relationship, you shouldn't rely all your.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah.

[Ashton]

Happiness on that other person.

[Alex Earl]

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

[Ashton]

I don't think what I said to my friend at dinner the other night because really her boyfriend called her. They're like doing long distance right now and he was like, I rely all of my happiness on you and I think we should take a break so I can figure things out. And she was like, so you love me so much that you want to take a break? Like you need to figure out how to handle your emotions and they're fine now but like, like, you know, some people just don't know how to handle their emotions. And you have to realize that like you can put a few eggs in every little category of your life. Like friends are super important, family, super important, hobbies, doing things you love, working out, super important for your mental health and your well being. And it's not all just about that person.

[Alex Earl]

Boyfriend is like a security blanket. It's like a blanket and then it's like you have to learn to live without it. And I think, well, part of the thing that's just hard at first, which is just like without a doubt this is always going to be hard, is just like a routine that you get into because you're used to texting them, you're used to going to sleep with them, used to waking up with them, you're used to going out with. So it's like part of the routine or the routine that you have with a boyfriend is so hard to break off. But there's other people in your life and granted some people, you know, when they get a boyfriend, they're not as close with their girlfriends or they let it go and they Get a little scared, but you just got to get right back into it. Like, you break up with your boyfriend, you need to distract yourself off the bat. I always say, distract, distract, distract. Like, call your grandma. If you don't have any friends, call, call your mom, call your best friends, call your cousin, call your co worker. Like, just be on the phone. Like, pick up the phone, text, call anyone but your ex. Like, because that is where things are going to get a little tricky. You can't be reaching out to them when you get lonely. You need to text someone else.

[Ashton]

Yeah, you really need to, like, learn how to, like, not just go crawling back to them. Which you really helped me with that. You really tried to distract me when I was going through my breakup. Like, remember when we went to Miami for my birthday and I was just crying the whole time, but you kept being like, whoop, whoop, take a shot. Let's go out. Let's go clubbing. And I'm like, crying. I'm like, I hate everything. I'm not having fun. And you're like, woo, Happy birthday.

[Alex Earl]

But, yeah, you need to just distract yourself.

[Ashton]

That was really sweet because I probably would have just been, like, crying in my bed alone if I didn't do that. So.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah. And I mean, when you break up with someone, all you want to do is text them. Like, you are literally sitting there, like, looking at your phone. You're like, oh, my God, I need to text them right now. But actually, you don't need to. You are gonna be okay. And I think. I think there's like, a few phases of a breakup, because one, there's like the breakup glow up, which we're gonna get into, and how to have a breakup glow up. But, like, going through a breakup is at first, I guess it sucks.

[Ashton]

And you're allowed. Alex is like, don't be sad. Like, it's. You're allowed to be sad and take as much time as you need, but don't, like, no, but you only get.

[Alex Earl]

A certain amount of time to be sad. Because some people are like, I broke up with my boyfriend like, a year ago. Like, I'm so sad. Like, you need to put a time limit on the time that you're allowed to be sad. Like, at first. Like, be sad, make a sad playlist. I'll say that has been really great for me. Sally actually has a really great sad playlist. Maybe we'll post it and be sad. Get in your car, take a drive, take a cry, Feel all the feels.

[Ashton]

All I did going through a breakup. I Would just play my sad music and drive around New Orleans, like, sobbing.

[Alex Earl]

It was really therapist. I kind of love when you go through a breakup and you have to go on a drive and you have to cry. Like, it's.

[Ashton]

Yeah.

[Alex Earl]

Honestly kind of great because I lived.

[Ashton]

In a dorm with eight girls, and I was like, I can't, like, sit in a room with my roommate and, like, cry right now. Because it was also, like, kind of weird because I wouldn't let myself cry in front of anyone. So I was like, I'm like, not sad. But then I would, like, get in my car and just drive. And then I would just waterworks. And I was like, there. It is.

[Alex Earl]

So fun, though. It's like you're in a movie.

[Ashton]

Yeah.

[Alex Earl]

You're like.

[Ashton]

Can be, like, so dramatic about it.

[Alex Earl]

I would, like, look out the window.

[Ashton]

And be like, yeah, it starts raining just perfect.

[Alex Earl]

I was just about to say the rain because when I did my breakup cry, it was raining out. And it's just like, honestly, wait for a thunderstorm and then break up with them and go sit in the car. It really. It's really helpful. You have to get out the feelings, but not for too long. Like, what do you say is a good amount of time to be sad before you start your next phase of the breakup?

[Ashton]

Like, a month.

[Alex Earl]

Two weeks.

[Ashton]

Two weeks. I would give it, like, a full month because, like, really, like, you can, like, pretend, but, like, you're really not gonna, like, actually, like, I think you should definitely start, like, going out and try to get out there before a month goes by for sure. But, like, you're really, like, still gonna be, like, hung up on it for, like, a month. But, like, after a month, I feel.

[Alex Earl]

Like a week, I'm like, cry and then, like, get back out there.

[Ashton]

Yeah. But, like, mentally you're still not really there. Like, you should be getting out there. But I don't think, like, I think it's okay to still be, like, upset and, like, if crying out, okay, fine.

[Alex Earl]

You know, one month at most. You got one month, Earl, girls. And then we're cutting you off. So you get one month to cry, one month to sit in bed. You can, like, cancel your plans. Like, you're just so upset. And then you have to have a breakup glow up.

[Ashton]

Yeah. You're going to, like, force yourself to, first of all, like, go out and be social and just get out there again. Not, like, you have to get out.

[Alex Earl]

There to, like, a month is too long. I think a month is too long. I'm going back on What I'm saying, I feel like it's like two weeks of no plans. You can cancel shit, you can be a hobbit and then after that you need to like you can still be sad, I guess, but like you have to like get out of the house and do things and hang out with your friends and distract yourself. Otherwise you are going to spiral and like want to get back with this person.

[Ashton]

I mean. Yeah, that makes sense. But I was saying like a month in terms of like you might be out and you still might start crying because you're still upset.

[Alex Earl]

Oh yeah. I'm not saying you're not gonna cry. I'm just saying you can't just like.

[Ashton]

Get over something in two weeks. Well, we're not all heartless, Alex.

[Alex Earl]

You can fake it till you make it. You can fake it till you make it.

[Ashton]

That actually is a really important part of like going through a breakup and like getting back out there faking it till you're making it.

[Alex Earl]

And I'm gonna tell you how you're gonna fake it till you make it. Well actually I think there's some stuffs for like a breakup glow up that it's just gonna make you feel better. So like when I go through a breakup I like to do little things or self care stuff that I just know is gonna like make me feel good. So whenever you're ready to get back out there, 14 days and you're gonna put on your Alex is like two days, you're gonna go to the club, you're gonna go to dinner with your friends, you're gonna go get lunch somewh doing. I think it's important to get some appointments on the books, on the calendars. Make a nail appointment, make a hair appointment. I mean like in college, honestly like when we like couldn't like we didn't have the money to just go get like a blowout or like whatever. I remember Sarah, Sarah would like cut our hair for us.

[Ashton]

Really?

[Alex Earl]

Find a friend who can. Yeah, make your friend cut your hair.

[Ashton]

Oh, cut your bangs like I did. Don't do that.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah, or get, get some fresh highlights. Change it up like oh, self tan. That's another good one.

[Ashton]

I always feel hotter when I'm tan.

[Alex Earl]

Get my eyebrows, like a full body exfoliation. Pluck your eyebrows, Go get your eyebrows done, get your lips done. Like literally just make any sort of like appointments that are going to make you feel better.

[Ashton]

Yeah, I was going to say workout too because like endorphins. As much as you don't want to like, it helps get you.

[Alex Earl]

So all of a sudden you're like, all right, fine. Like, I have all these appointments, I have to go. And then immediately after, you're already like, well, wait, a little bit better. Yeah, yeah, I'm feeling better. Then the next thing you're gonna do in this breakup boot camp is you're gonna go from your sad playlist to your hot girl playlist. So now you need to play all the songs. Like, you need some like Megan Thee Stallion. Some like really good Britney Spears. Some.

[Ashton]

Put on that Kim Petras.

[Alex Earl]

Yes. Like, you are gonna dance in the mirror after you have all of your, your little beauty appointments. Hacks, Glow ups. You're gonna dance in the mirror and you're gonna be like, you're gonna dance in the mirror. Wait, you don't dance in the mirror?

[Ashton]

No.

[Alex Earl]

Okay, well, you're going to. Fine. Well, like, you're doing your makeup or something, but like, anytime you're in the car, you're going to start, like, playing. The New Balance 1080 is the ultimate daily trainer, combining reliable comfort with top tier performance. I love New Balance sneakers. I mean, for the girls who are running, good for you. I'm not a runner. I'm probably more so wearing these to like, the coffee shop or the grocery store. But The New Balance 1080 features a cushion midsole for secure support and comfort. It's lightweight, breathable, and it is good for an everyday on the run, on the go shop. The 1080@New Balance.com if you dunk, Michelle.

[Ashton]

You could dunk a dunk your way back into the competition. RuPaul's Drag Race is back, only on MTV. With the show stopping celebrity guest judges like Katy Perry, Dochi, Sam Smith, Adam Lambert and more.

[Alex Earl]

The splashiest season in her story is making major waves.

[Ashton]

Raider Queen is back. I hold their face in my dainty little hands because wetter is better. RuPaul's Drag Race is back. New season, tomorrow at 8, 7 Central on MTV.

[Alex Earl]

This, like, hot girl music, which I think is something Ashton struggles with because every time I'm in the car with her, she plays music and I'm like, I get out of the car and I'm like, I think I now have depression. Like, I don't think I've ever been depressed before, but I now think I have it.

[Ashton]

All right, you're just a little dramatic.

[Alex Earl]

I just know what I'm telling you. The music that you listen to, the music that you listen to impacts, like, how you are and how you think. And if you're listening to sad, depressed music. You're gonna be sad and depressed.

[Ashton]

Okay. Like, I guess, but sometimes sad songs are just better, you know?

[Alex Earl]

Okay, well, you get two weeks, but I get it. Songs. And then you have to switch it over.

[Ashton]

You gotta turn on, like, the bimbo songs, the dumb. Like. Like, la la. I want to be hot and shake my ass.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah. So you need to make two playlists when you break up. So make a sad playlist and then make a hot playlist.

[Ashton]

I'm in charge of the sad. You're in charge of the hot.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah. And then the other thing that you're gonna do is you're gonna mute this X on socials because I know you want to stalk. I. Trust me, I know. But it's just gonna do you no good. You have to say, out of sight, out of mind.

[Ashton]

But it's so true. Out of sight, out of mind.

[Alex Earl]

I can't speak out of mind, but.

[Ashton]

Like, it actually works if you, like, muting someone's story is the one of my favorite little hacks that they've added to.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah. Because then you just, like, forget. It's not like. And then it's not like you're not.

[Ashton]

Being, like, constantly reminded of them. Yeah, yeah.

[Alex Earl]

You don't have to block them. And it's like, oh, God, this big deal. But it's just like, you're not gonna look. Okay. Because looking is not going to be good. Also, you don't need to just block him, but block any of his friends who are going to be posting things of him going out that you're not going to want to see. You have to get that out of there as well.

[Ashton]

Wait, don't block unless, like, block. I don't block people.

[Alex Earl]

I didn't say block. You said block.

[Ashton]

Don't block.

[Alex Earl]

Okay.

[Ashton]

Unless, like, mute. I don't know. I'm not a blocker. I've never blocked anyone, even if I hate them. I'm just.

[Alex Earl]

I'm not a blocker either, actually. I don't think I have anyone blocked.

[Ashton]

I don't think so. Unless they're, like, weird spammer stalkers commenting on my posts.

[Alex Earl]

I don't really think I like to block people because.

[Ashton]

No. Like, if it's someone I know, I'm.

[Alex Earl]

Gonna have a breakup glow up. And I'm like, wait, you're gonna need to see me.

[Ashton]

I kind of want. Yeah, I agree with that. I'm not really into blocking, but muting stories is good. I just wanted to say that because you did say block.

[Alex Earl]

Well. Whoops.

[Ashton]

Well, Whoops.

[Alex Earl]

There's also something that just, like, chemically happens when you have a breakup. I don't know. It's. It's actual science that you just, like, have a. Not, like, you don't even need to make any appointments. You don't need any surgery. It just happens. Like, it's like you go through, like, a puberty again, where it's just like, whoa. Like, something just happens. Like, I've never seen someone go through a breakup and then get worse. Actually, the guys. The guys always go, like, down and the girls always go up. That's what I think it is.

[Ashton]

Something like some, like, weird, like, higher power of women. Like, just. They magically. It's always get hotter with, like, every failed relationship.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah, it's true. You're gonna have a breakup glow up. And then when you're getting back out there and you're dating guys and you're single, like, I just don't understand. I guess this is less too about, like, going after a breakup, but just, like, being single and dating people. Like, so many girls, like, go on dates. Well, I guess you're going on dates looking for a boyfriend or looking for a guy, but, like, you can't.

[Ashton]

You can't, like, expect it too much, you know?

[Alex Earl]

You know what I mean? Like, some people, like, go on a date and they're just like, I need. Think it's gonna be their boyfriend.

[Ashton]

Yeah. But they don't even, like, care about. They just want to make the guy like them. Like, what about making.

[Alex Earl]

Yes, that's what I'm trying to say.

[Ashton]

Like, I don't know.

[Alex Earl]

Like, I feel like a lot of girls go on dates and they're like, okay, like, is he gonna text me back? Does he like me?

[Ashton]

Do you even like him?

[Alex Earl]

Exactly. Like, I feel like people date and they just, like, they don't. Girls, at least I don't.

[Ashton]

Girls don't prioritize themselves.

[Alex Earl]

I feel like girls need to be more selfish when they're dating. Like, they get so worried about, like, what the guy thinks of them, but I feel like the girl needs to be a little bit more selfish and be like, oh, okay, like, here's what I. Like, here's what I don't like. And, like, you can also date and have fun, but you don't need to, like, lock this person into being your boyfriend.

[Ashton]

I also just think the whole, like, premise of single girls just constantly being like, I need to find a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, it'll happen when it happens. You can't force it, because you're just gonna end up in a not good relationship. Not, like it's gonna be bad, but it might not be the person for you. Like, why would you try to force a boyfriend or a relationship? Like, it's just gonna happen. Like, you really can't force that. You know, when you, like, think, yeah.

[Alex Earl]

I feel like it. It does just happen when it happens. And honestly, I feel like it always happens when you're not looking for a boyfriend.

[Ashton]

Exactly. It's. Everyone says that, but it's so true.

[Alex Earl]

No, it is true. When I met Braxton, I literally was, like, the last thing on earth that I want his boyfriend, which is why it took me so long to date him. So I was like, I don't want a boyfriend. I was literally like, fuck that. I'm not doing it. I don't need a boyfriend. Like, not happening for me. And then Braxton came along, and I.

[Ashton]

Was like, he's just so perfect.

[Alex Earl]

Perfect. Yeah.

[Ashton]

Damn it.

[Alex Earl]

I was like, damn it.

[Ashton]

The whole thing about being single. Like, you shouldn't be looking for a boyfriend. You should be like, oh, my gosh. Like, I'm alone right now. I don't have to, like, cater to anyone. I can do whatever I want. Like, you should be taking these opportunities to, like, say yes to everything and, like, be a little crazy. Like, do things for the plot. Like, just have fun. Like, this is like.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah. Like, you're single. You don't have to report to anyone. Are you kidding me? Like, you're just. Come on.

[Ashton]

Like, No.

[Alex Earl]

I don't understand why the girls are so upset.

[Ashton]

Yeah, girls get it together because you don't realize how good being single is. And then you're gonna get a boyfriend, and you're gonna be like, this dude sucks. I wish he wasn't, like, complaining and crying to me every night about what I'm doing and saying my outfits are slutty. Like, no one's gonna tell you your outfits too slutty when you're single. No one's gonna say, you shouldn't wear that. All your girlfriends are gonna be like, yes, you should be wearing that. You should take more clothes off, you know?

[Alex Earl]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ashton]

Just the fun little things in life.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah. I don't think single needs to be so devastating all the time. And even, like, if you are single and you go on a date and you get rejected, it's not the end of the world. It's not the end of the world.

[Ashton]

If he rejects you, then he's not wasting your time. He was like, yeah, like, you have.

[Alex Earl]

To take rejection as exception. That. That's not the person for you.

[Ashton]

Yeah, you just gotta be like, all right, on to the next one.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah, one time I did get rejected bad though.

[Ashton]

Oh, tell me about it. Well, I were pretty girls getting rejected.

[Alex Earl]

I was going on a few dates with a guy and I thought things were going great. And I was like, da, da, da. I really like this artist. And there was a concert in town that weekend and he was like, great. Like, I'll get us tickets to go. Will be so much fun. So this is like a week before the concert, and then the night before the concert. We haven't talked in a few days, so I was just like, hey, like, just checking in, making sure, like, we're all good to go for the concert tomorrow. Like, looking forward to it. So excited. And he was like, oh, I'm actually taking like another girl. That's literally what he said to me. And I was like, okay, concert.

[Ashton]

He's taking another girl to the concert that you wanted to go to.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah, I just got replaced. And you know, I did, I did. It was raining out and it got in my car and I cried. And then I was like, you know what? That wasn't the person for me.

[Ashton]

Yeah, definitely doesn't sound.

[Alex Earl]

If, like, if a guy is rejecting you, then why would you want to be with him?

[Ashton]

Yeah, never.

[Alex Earl]

And it's okay to be upset for a second, but, like, you should never.

[Ashton]

Like, beg for anyone to like, like you or want you, you know?

[Alex Earl]

Yeah.

[Ashton]

If they don't want you, just accept it and be like, all right. They are not the one you can't force.

[Alex Earl]

Listen, we all. We all get rejected. We all get rejected. Like, you know what I mean? I'm like, it just happens. Like, we have to just accept it. Like, we have to stop being so upset at the rejection. And we just have to accept that. No, like, that person does not want you and move on.

[Ashton]

It's okay to be girls, but you should. You shouldn't be like, begging for them back if they're saying they don't want you. Like, what, you're gonna force someone to change their mind into liking you? That. That doesn't work. That's not how it works.

[Alex Earl]

All girls get rejected.

[Ashton]

It's part of life.

[Alex Earl]

Happens.

[Ashton]

Builds character.

[Alex Earl]

We have to have some tough skinned girls, and if you're gonna be single, you have to do it right. You know what I mean? Like, don't be single and be mopey dopey. Because who, if you are looking for A boyfriend. You think he's gonna want to go after the girl who's so sad that she's single? No, he wants the girl who's fun and confident. And confident. She's so happy being single.

[Ashton]

And he's like, wow, being herself, doing her thing, T. Oh, don't say that. But yeah, like, I could have been, like, so upset when I went abroad and been like. Like, I don't want to be here. Like, I'm lonely and I'm, you know, I don't have anyone because I went through my breakup right before I left for abroad. But instead I was like, I'm single and I'm in Italy, and I don't know anyone here, and there's all these fun people that I've never met before, and I'm just gonna go out and say yes to everything. Like, the first night I was abroad, I didn't really know, like, the going out scene in Florence, and I got a DM from this, like, random girl. She was actually from New Jersey. And she's like, hey, like, I work at this club. Like, my boyfriend's a dj. Like, we want to bring you, like, VIP with us. Like, bring your girlfriends. I fact checked her because I had one mutual with her on Instagram. So then I was like. And the girl was like, yeah, like, I used to work with her. She's cool. So I was like, all right, bet. I bring me and my, like, three girlfriends to this club.

[Alex Earl]

All right, bet.

[Ashton]

All right, bet.

[Alex Earl]

All right.

[Ashton]

Okay. We go to this club we're in. It's our first night going out in Italy. We, like, just got there. I've never met this girl before. And I texted her like, hey, like, I'm. I'm here. I think, like, at the club, she comes out, comes gets. Comes to get us, brings us right to the DJ booth table, introduces me to her boyfriend and all of her roommates and her friends, and we just partied the whole night together. And we actually had the best time ever. And they became my best friends in Florence. And we would, like, go out every night together at the clubs, dancing on tables. We'd even, like, get dinners before. And it was just like, so fun because we would literally be out till 6:30 in the morning every night. And I was like, I would never be able to do this if I had a boyfriend who was like, wait, where are you? What are you doing? Being single is, like, such an important time to, like, take opportunities and, like, try new things, you know, also to.

[Alex Earl]

Get to, like, know yourself. Like, you should Be so comfortable with yourself before you get into a relationship.

[Ashton]

Yeah. Because if you're not comfortable with yourself, you're just gonna, like, structure yourself around this other person and you're not really gonna know yourself or what you really want because you're just kind of doing everything for the other person when you're single.

[Alex Earl]

Like, think about it is like, all your girlfriends are there, all your boyfriends. Like, you can have date nights with your girls. And I feel like girls nights are the best. Like, get, like, you know what me and my friends really want to do is do like a clay date, which is basically like clay. You get a clay kit, and then we, like, will make little clay things, which is just, I don't know, just a fun little date night. If you need something to do with your girlfriends.

[Ashton]

No, I love, like, getting dressed up and going to, like, a happy hour wine bar or like a nice, like, cocktail lounge with my friends. Like, that is so fun because you just sit, you get a little tipsy, you gossip, you, you, you get hot. You can take cute pictures. Those are my favorite nights. Like happy hour or, like, cocktail.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah. I've honestly really been loving going to, like, there's this little lounge by where I live, and it's like a restaurant and then there's also a bar, but it's just like, cool and drinks but like a sexy vibe and just like, just go with your girlfriends. I think being single is so exciting. It is like when someone has a breakup, I'm like, congratulations, I know this is the best time of your life.

[Ashton]

You honestly helped me change my mindset because I was so scared of being single, and now I think being single is, like, the best thing in the entire world.

[Alex Earl]

Well, also, going out when you're single or like, newly single for some reason is so much more fun. Like the, the bar, the same old bar that you've been going to for 10 years is like, suddenly, somehow, ever. Yes. So much more fun. Like, the music's better. Like, you just, like, going out when you're freshly single. There's something in the air again, scientifically. I don't know, it just changes, but it's just way more fun.

[Ashton]

It really is.

[Alex Earl]

You have, like, a fire inside of you.

[Ashton]

There's, like, just nothing holding you back anymore, you know, not that being in a relationship holds you back, but, like, you really have the freedom to just do whatever you want and not have, like, you have the freedom to be a little selfish, which you can't, like, always be selfish in every point in your life. Like, when you're single, you get to be a little selfish and just do whatever you want. And I think that is something that people take for granted a lot. And everyone needs to change their minds about being single.

[Alex Earl]

Yeah, you. You single.

[Ashton]

Stop being sad, because being single can be really fun.

[Alex Earl]

I miss you so much.

[Ashton]

Wait, I miss you, too. I wish I could hug you right now.

[Alex Earl]

I know. I want to hug you. I want to cry for some reason.

[Ashton]

Wait, I don't. For some reason. I know this is, like, really weird. Every time I see, like, you and Braxton post a video together, I'm like, I want to cry. Like, I miss you guys. Like, I want to, like, hug Mama and papa.

[Alex Earl]

You know, Mama.

[Ashton]

Like, we were such a little family at the beginning of the summer. Now I never see baby anymore because he's working.

[Alex Earl]

Late because I'm a singer. Okay, well, it's time for what would Alex Do?

[Ashton]

Okay.

[Alex Earl]

Miss you so much, but you've gotta go.

[Ashton]

You're kicking me off, but you miss me?

[Alex Earl]

Well, yeah, but. Love you.

[Ashton]

Stay single, stay hot, stay sexy.

[Alex Earl]

All right, Love you in time for what would Alex Do?

[Ashton]

If you dunk, Michelle, you could dunk a dunk your way back into the competition.

[Alex Earl]

RuPaul's Drag Race is back.

[Ashton]

Only on MTV. With show stopping celebrity guest judges like Katy Perry, Dochi, Sam Smith, Adam Lambert and more.

[Alex Earl]

The splashiest season in her story is making major waves.

[Ashton]

Raider Queen is back. I hold their face in my dainty little hands. Because wetter is better. RuPaul's Drag Race is back. New season season tomorrow at 8 Central on MTV.

[Alex Earl]

All set for your flight?

[Ashton]

Yep, I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T mobile, headphones.

[Alex Earl]

Wait, T Mobile?

[Ashton]

You bet. Free inflight Wi Fi, 15% off all Hilton brands. I never go anywhere without T Mobile. Same goes from a water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. I'm gonna leave you to it. Find out how you can experience travel better@t mobile.com Travel qualifying plan required. Wi Fi were available on select US airlines. Deposit and Hilton honors membership required for 15% discount.

[Alex Earl]

Terms and conditions apply. All right, let's see what the Earl girls wrote in for us this week. Let's start with this one. Hi Alex. My friend is getting married and my ex best friend is going to be in the wedding. We haven't talked in five years, but we will be around each other a lot because of all the pre wedding activities. I feel like it'll be awkward and I won't enjoy the events because of the situation. I have no interest in being friends with her again. But I want all of us to get along for the bride. What would Alex do? Okay, so this is a situation where you are just going to have to be nice and suck it up. Also, I feel like five years is a lot of time in between. I'm not saying that that makes, you know, whatever happened or why you're not friends, okay? But five years is a long time. And I think, you know, this is someone's wedding day. And the last thing you would want, right, for your friend who's getting married is you to create drama on her wedding day or something for her to worry about. Like, this should be so seamless for her. And if this is, you know, truly your friend, I know it's definitely going to be awkward having like an ex friend there, but I think you really just need to suck it up and be an adult. And even if the girl who is your ex best friend isn't acting that way, like, I think that's literally something you say to her. Like, listen, like, we need to, like, be there for a friend who's getting married and you don't have to like her in your head. But I think for this instance in particular, you need to just be nice, have a smile on your face. And I think just in general, it's always better to be nicer and just be the bigger person. Like, just because you're being nice to someone doesn't mean you have to be friends with them. It's definitely, like, awkward and scary. It's like, I mean, it's like seeing an ex boyfriend. But this is definitely a moment where I would say you have to, like, put your personal feelings aside because this is someone else's big day and you don't want them to, like, look back on this and be like, oh, my God, these two girls caused a fight on my wedding day and that's the only thing I can remember. So just suck it up, Be the bigger person, be nice, have a smile on your face, Be just so dandy and great. And if there is a problem between you two, then let it come from the other friend and not from you. I just swear, just be the bigger person and be happy for your friend who's getting married and focus on that. Hey, Alex. I've had a boyfriend for over a year now, and I think. I think I might be losing feelings for him. I don't get excited to see him anymore, and I get irritated with him easily. We were best friends for years before we started dating. And I know if I break up with him, we won't have that friendship anymore. What would Alex do? I mean, this is definitely a hard one. And I think. I mean, listen, there are definitely times when you're dating someone for a while where things can get a little stale. You know what I mean? Like, it's not saying that you're, I don't know, losing feelings for them and just, like, you don't want to be with them anymore. But sometimes when you're with someone and you spend a lot of time with them and you're dating, like, sometimes things get boring and you need to spice things up. So if that's the case, where things are just getting kind of a little boring, I think, like, that's completely normal. And don't, like, freak yourself out about it and, like, getting irritated with the person because, like, you spend a lot of time with them, and it's like, it's normal, you know, Sometimes it's like, fear around. I don't know if I'm around Braxton for a while, and we start, like, pissing each other off, or it's mostly just me getting annoyed. But that is completely normal. And I think you can do something fun, like a fun date night or just something romantic. Like, honestly, even for Braxton's birthday, I cooked him a dinner, and I, like, redid his living room a little bit. So I just, like, took away the other chairs from the dining room table. I, like, lit some candles. I got some, like, candles from Party City, and we just, like, had a nice little wine night dinner alone, the two of us. And it was just like any other night of us having dinner at home. But it felt, like, so much more special just because we kind of, like, changed the ambiance of his house. And you're not going out, you know? You know, you have to worry about, like, you know, paying for a dinner at a nice restaurant. Like, it's just, like, a chill night, the two of you, and, I don't know, making it a little, like, romantic and fun. And I think that's. That's something you could do if you need to, like, spice things up and try and get some of the, like, romantic vibes back in there. But it's definitely normal to have, like, a kind of period where you feel, like, stale or whatnot. But if you're just losing feelings for him in general, then I would probably say, I mean, you know, this one's coming by now, you guys know. But I would say it's okay to break up. You know what I mean? Like, it Sucks that you might not be friends. But if you were friends for years before you were dating, maybe there's a time where you can go back to being friends. It might not be right away, but I know last week and the Tar Yummy episode, she was talking about how they kind of put. Put both of their feelings aside personally, and they just really wanted to have their friendship after she broke up with her boyfriend and she really respected him and their friendship that they had, even though it wasn't going to be a romantic relationship anymore. So maybe there is a point where you guys can be friends, but, I mean, going through a breakup's really hard and might not be feasible, but I don't think you should stay in a relationship that isn't suiting you just because you're afraid of losing a friendship. And I think if you guys really, truly are, like, friends at the end of the day, then I think you guys will come back around to that. I think, personally, anytime that I think, like, things have gotten, like, just a little bit more complacent, and you do those more, like, romantic things, like, put your phone down, just hang out with each other, and if you aren't feeling it or nothing comes back or it's still just you're not. You don't have that vibe with each other, then maybe that is more so of a sign of, like, okay, maybe this isn't the right relationship for me, but I'm wishing you the best, Alex. Help. Every time I bring the guy I'm seeing around my friends, he's so invested in talking to them and gives them way more attention than me. I'm glad he wants to be close with my friends, but I feel like he neglects me when we're with them. What would Alex do? This is so funny. I feel, like, not funny because I know this is something you're seriously upset about, but it's just funny of, like, I could see myself being like, hello. Like, give me attention. What? What are you doing? But, I mean, I think that. I don't think him giving your friend's attention is him, like, not being a good boyfriend to you. I think he's probably trying to be an extra good boyfriend to you by, like, trying to get along with all of your friends. And maybe that's just, like, he's getting caught up in that a little bit. But I feel like if it's their boyfriend, I would just be like, hey, like, I feel like whenever we hang out with other people, you're always talking to them and not me. But there could be a problem if. Because some people in relationships, like, you go out in public together and, like, the other person literally forgets you exist. So that is another possibility. But, I mean, if it's him just, like, getting along with your friends, I actually think that's. It's nice that he can get along with your friends, but I wouldn't be afraid to voice, like, I don't think there's anything wrong. I mean, personally, what would Alex do? I would be like, hey, you're not talking to me at all. Thanks so much for talking to my friends, but can you also talk to me? I'm not really sure. I need them. I need more context here. All of these. I'm like. Like, I really feel like we should do a live what would Alex do one time? Because I'm like, I have so many questions back for you guys, and I just want to know more. But that's what Alex would do. I would just say, hey, bucko, pay attention to me. But that is all for this week's episode. I love you guys, and I will see you next Thursday for another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earl. Don't forget to, like, subscribe. Follow this podcast. It means the world to me, and I will see you guys next week. Bye. Wait. Did I just turn that off? How do I get that back on? I'm a hot mess. All set for your flight?

[Ashton]

Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T Mobile, headphones.

[Alex Earl]

Wait. T Mobile?

[Ashton]

You bet. Free in flight. Wi Fi. 15% off all Hilton brands. I never go anywhere without T Mobile. Same goes from a water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. I'm gonna leave you to it. Find out how you can experience travel better@t mobile.com Travel qualifying plan required. Wi Fi were available on select US airlines. Deposit and Hilton honors membership required for 15% discount. Terms and conditions apply. Cheers to a great day and this ice cold Corona.

[Alex Earl]

You know what would make this day even better?

[Ashton]

My grandma's carne asada. Throw in, we can watch the game. Or we could keep it simple. Corona la vida Masvina.

[Alex Earl]

Get your [e-mail] Relax responsibly.

[Ashton]

Corona Extra beer imported by Chronic Port, Chicago, IL.