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Hot Mess
Spring Break & Party Culture
00:33:26
(VIDEO PODCAST AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE) This week, Alix takes a trip down memory lane, sharing her wildest spring break stories—from the time her boyfriend cheated on her to the unforgettable (and very public) mishap involving a Facebook photo. She also opens up about her current relationship with alcohol and party culture and why Miami has become her ultimate safe haven. SPONSORS It Starts With A Swipe. Download Tinder Today! https://open.tinder.com/9K8a/HotMess
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- [00:00]
Alex Earle
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- [00:33]
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- [01:04]
Alex Earle
Welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. Wait, did I just turn that off? How do I get that back on? I'm a hot mess. We are going to have a fun episode today. It's just me. Ashton's not here, unfortunately. She's at Marty. Or I guess fortunately she's at Marty Gr right now. So she's living it up. She's having the time of her life. So I couldn't be on the podcast this week. I'm kind of busy. Marty Gr right now. I was requested to go to Mardi Gras with her. She wanted me there. And Jake is also there right now. And I was gonna go. I was thinking about it, but I thought that it just wasn't best. It wasn't best for me. I need some health and wellness. I need a little bit of rest. I've actually been sick this week. So I decided to say no, which is a big thing for me because I'm. I'm not a yes person. But I just like to say yes to things if that makes sense. Like I love anything. Sounds fun to me. So I'm always down for a good time. So that's why it's hard for me to kind of pass up on a fun opportunity. But anyways, I did end up going. I'm actually really happy I didn't end up going. I'll tell you why in a second. But don't forget to subscribe. Watch. Follow this podcast wherever you're watching or listening. If you guys are on YouTube right now, make sure to subscribe. There's going to be a fun giveaway in the next month, but I've felt a little under the weather this week, and that's not usual for me. I don't usually get sick. I have a pretty good immune system, which is kind of crazy because I'm on the go a lot and I'm always doing a million different things. But I don't know, I always try to drink those. What are they called? Like, the emergency packets. I always have those with me when I'm traveling and I try to drink them. I put them in my water. I'm not the best water drinker, which is something I have to get better at. But I do try to keep up with my vitamin C and I'll like, take some dayquil if I'm not feeling good. But this week I. After I got back from Aspen, I just. I knew I was getting sick. I just, I felt it and I woke up just, you know when you feel almost like out of your body? Like, I. I just felt like I wasn't in my body. I was like, I. I don't know how to explain it. I just felt so ill and like, so lethargic and so tired. So all week my brain has just been like mashed potatoes. Not great. I smell like garlic right now because all I've been having is boiled bone broth with garlic in it. And my mom said that that would help me feel better when I get sick. So I've been eating a lot of garlic. And then we ended up getting Asia adopted, which was great. Asia is the dog we were fostering, and I took her. Me, Braxton, and my mom went to the shelter. My mom also came to stay with me in Miami for a few days this week, and we took Asia to the shelter. And the first family that we met with ended up adopting her, which is great. But I wasn't really prepared for, I guess, the loss of having the dog adopted. I didn't really think about that part too much. Like, obviously I thought about it, but I just thought it would be a little bit of a happier feeling. Like, I feel so happy. I'M so happy with the people Asia went with. I'm so happy for Asia that she has a forever home. But like, just, I just didn't expect it to feel like this sense of guilt or loss and I don't know why I feel that way and I don't think I should feel guilty at all. But I guess I just felt like bad after having this dog with me and then know this dog thinks that we're her people and she's hanging out with us and I don't know, I've just been going through so many different emotions with it this week and honestly, your guys comments online have been helping me a lot and just like looking at other people who foster dogs, someone said, this girl I follow, Olivia, she fosters a lot of dogs and she said sometimes it's like breaking your own heart to save theirs. And I had a complete meltdown when I heard her say that the other night because I was, I was in Braxton's bed just like crying and I was like, I don't know what's wrong right now. I just, just, I really miss a dog. I feel bad and like, I don't know what this is all about. And so I was going to her page to kind of try and like have some peace of mind and I heard her say that and I just started bawling my eyes out even more. But it's been good and I am very, very happy for Asia. I just, I miss her and I hope, I hope she's doing well. I wish I could, like, text her. I hate that you can't talk to dogs. Even when she was here, I was like, I wish I could just know your life story. Like, I just want to sit down with you, have a conversation. Where have you been? Like, where did you come from? Like, I just, I. I hate that we can't. Like, I feel like there has to be a way that we can figure out talking to animals. There's no way they don't figure that out ever. So, yeah, if you know me, you know, I love these sneakers. The new balance 1080, it's the ultimate daily trainer. It's a combo of reliable comfort with top tier performance. I mean, these are very versatile. Some of you might be going for a run and I applaud you for that. I'm not a big runner. I'm probably more so running to like the grocery store or, you know, know I'm wearing them on my walks or I'm honestly just wearing them to like, dress up a cute outfit. I think they're really, really cute. 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- [06:54]
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- [07:29]
Alex Earle
And I've been trying to lay off coffee because my anxiety is like, it hasn't been great and it's honestly been an escalation. I'll say from like November, but I am pretty good. If you guys like have ever listened to my anxiety episode, you'll know a lot more backstory on this. If you haven't listened to it, then maybe go listen if you're dealing with anxiety. But I basically like used to be bedridden when I had bad anxiety when I was 14 years old. It's like I would wake up and first thing I would do is get sick and then I just wouldn't really want to leave my bed. Like anytime I left my bed I just felt anxious. And I mean I was anxious in my bed, but it was my safe place, I guess. And I mean going out to eat, having sleepovers with my friends, like I just always felt anxious and like I wanted to get out of there. And one thing in that, that was a problem for me was restaurants. And that hasn't been a problem for me in a while. But recently, and I don't know why it's coming back, I have just been getting this like overwhelming feeling when I'm at restaurants where I just feel like I need to Leave. Like, the second I sit down, I'm like, oh, like, I need to get out of here. Like, I need to go sit in the car. Like, I just need to take a lap. Like, I'm waiting for the bill to come. And I don't know why that happens at restaurants. And maybe that's something I should, like, work out in therapy, but. But it's been a little bit worse than usual, and I feel like just needing to, like, take some time this week to chill, get my mental health in order. And I'm trying to lay off coffee as a subset of this because I realized the other day that I had a cup of coffee, and then I just felt like my heart was pounding and I didn't feel good. So I was like, all right, maybe we need to lay off the caffeine. And I was talking to a friend, and she stopped drinking coffee and she switched to Matcha, which stars caffeine in it, but less, I think. I don't know. She said it really helped her with anxiety. So I stopped drinking coffee for this week. I will let you guys know how that goes, because I do really rely on coffee, but I've also been sick, so I haven't been really craving coffee. So I guess. I guess we'll see. But definitely want to get my anxiety in order a little bit because it's just been all over the place. And, you know, we had a big party weekend last weekend, which is great, but I'm feeling so excited to stay in bed this weekend and do nothing. And that's kind of what I wanted to talk about in this episode a little bit, was the balance of going out and staying in and taking care of yourself and going out, having a drink with your friends. And then I guess my relationship with alcohol, because I just see so much online, and it's fair. People are allowed to say whatever they want, but a lot of things can be misconstrued. And I think because I post a lot about me going out and doesn't mean I'm going out all the time. Granted, there are some times where I'm on the go a lot, but just because I'm going out doesn't mean that I'm drinking and ripping shots or just because I'm posting a lot that I'm going out doesn't mean I'm out every waking second. It's just there's so much more to post about when I am going out, if that makes sense. Because it's like, you have the hair, the makeup, you have the outfit, videos So I wanted to chat with you guys about all of that today. And it reminded me one of the big events of the year coming up is spring break. And living in Miami, I'm no stranger to a spring break. I mean, I went on spring break all four years of my college, and I don't know, spring break is just so. It's kind of annoying. It's kind of the worst. And it's always built up, and it's held to such a high standard, and I don't know if it ever lives up to it. Like, spring break is just always such a shit show. And also, living in Miami, where it's a spring break destination, is pretty chaotic. And Miami has started to, like, shut down everything and, like, during the streets of spring break over the past few years. Cause it gets so nutty here. And I guess before we get into everything, my, like, first understanding of spring break was there was the Spring breakers movie, I believe. And I think Selena Gomez was in that, but I might be making that up. And my boyfriend, who was in college when I was in high school, and when he would go on his college spring breaks, and I remember just, like, staying up all night hoping for a text from him, he never answered me. And then I would stalk all of the sorority girls that he was friends with and every girl he would follow. And I would go to the VSCO or, like, vsco. Do you guys remember that in their bio? And I would look at the photos and see if they're, like, uploading them in real time. And I would obviously find, like, photos of him with, like, girls, and I would freak out, and it would send me on the spiral. But I always thought of spring break as just, like, the epitome of a fun party. My first spring break was not normal by any means. And okay, so college, University of Miami, spring breaks coming around. And this was right after sorority rush and. Or I guess not right after, but, you know, soon after. And I was kind of misplaced from, like, the friends I was friends with. First semester, I had made new friends, and I was going to room with the girls in my sorority at the time. So not the friends that, like, I would say I was super, super close with, but more so, like, new friends. We went to Bimini in the Bahamas. And I don't know how I feel about Bimini. Not great. Honestly. All I have is pretty terrible memories of being there. The Bahamas is great. The Bahamas is beautiful. But Bimini in particular was. And maybe this is just, like, the spring break destination, but it was just a Full on shit show. So basically there's a bunch of different, like, groups you can go with to buy tickets to go to this Bimini spring break. So one of the places that we went with you, like, buy a ticket, it includes like your hotel room, your travel costs, and then I don't really think it includes anything else. You get like a photo package at the end, which we will get to. This story, it haunts me to this day. So I decide I'm gonna room with these girls, new friends for spring break, and we're going to take the ferry to Bimini because that's how everyone gets there. It's like a. It's maybe like a two to three hour ferry from Miami to Bimini. And everyone says it's like the ferry ride's easy. Like, everyone in Miami boats over to Bahamas for the day. It's like no big deal. But the day that we decide to go to Bimini, there is a massive storm. So we get on this ferry. Imagine like every person in your school stacked on this three tier ferry. There's like a bar on each level. There's like maybe some food. And then it's just kind of like big, long bench seats. We get on this ferry, it's like a little stormy out and they're like, oh, it might be a little bumpy on the ride over. And you have the frat boys there, they have their speakers, they're blasting music. I mean, everyone's all riled because it's spring break and everyone's in a good mood. We get on this thing, we get cruising, and before we know it, we entered the deep, dark sea. Like, do you. Do you know the sea on TikTok? What. What's it. The, like, yo ho. That's. That was what this ferry ride was. We were going from side to side. There was waves crashing over the sides of this boat. Like, all. When you looked out the window, all you would see is like, down to the ocean, up to the sky, and it was so nauseating. And this one, this was straight for like two hours. So everyone on this boat from Miami to Bimini was throwing up. Like everyone was sick there. Puke bags everywhere. There was a line actually to get puke bags at the front. Everyone was just like holding on to where they were sitting. I remember sitting across from these guys and they were like, hammered, having the time of their life. They're like singing. They had no care in the world. There's people like on the back of the boat crying. It was actually the ferry ride from hell. And I was just so scared that we were going to tip over. And like a ferry's pretty big and you don't really ever feel like much rocking like that. And like we were just going from side to side. I never thought we were gonna make it there. And it was just so nauseating that I remember I curled up in my seat on the ferry and I just like tried to sleep. Cuz I was like, I just, I can't live through this right now. I need to sleep. I need to go to bed. We finally get to Bimini after our long, nauseating ferry ride for three hours. And I remember there was just these big windy lines. Like every college student has their suitcase. They're like dragging it through the gravel. And we're waiting in these lines to get on. I think we got on little golf carts to go to the hotel. And we go to the hotel, we check in, everything's like fine and normal, right? We're having to find spring break. Maybe like day one or day two that we're on this spring break. There's this thing called like coronavirus that breaks out and everyone's like, ooh, you know, this doesn't look too good. Like what's this coronavirus on the news? And everyone's trying to like figure out what's going on. Is it really bad? Does anyone here have corona? As we're on like day two or day three of this trip, it turns out that our school puts out a notice and they're like, okay, spring break is extended by like another 10 days. So everyone's like partying, having the time of their life. They think it's the best thing ever because we now have off school for another 10 days. Not knowing that like we were gonna go into a full shutdown, whatever. We were having a good spring break. I mean, it's fun, it's. It's parties and everyone gets, I feel like a little bit crazier because you're with other schools. It's like when, I don't know, your camp goes to hang out with like the other camp. You're like, you're trying to impress. You're there with new people, there's new guys there for you to meet. And it was just like a trashy shit show in the Bahamas. There were pool parties, there were night parties. It was basically just like non stop. You were going all day, all night. And I don't know, spring breaks can get a little out of hand. And I remember specifically there was this one party down at the pool deck area and they were having, like, a twerk contest up on, like, the stage. And I. I don't know. I'm just like. All of this looking back on it now makes me cringe. But in the moment, we're thinking, this is, like, the craziest party ever. And I was with my friends dancing the DJ booth. Lo and behold, we were, like, up on this platform. So we're just in, like, bikini and sneakers dancing. There's, like, a photographer coming around. And, like, when I've had a few drinks and I see a photographer, I'm like, let's go. I'm like, here I am. I'm putting on a show, and I'm just dancing, thinking nothing of this. I think that I actually ended up going somewhere with this photographer, with, like, a group of my friends to this, like, random beach to take pictures at some point on this trip. I don't know, but they had these photographers that were sent with, like, the different groups. I told you that you, like, buy tickets to go with the different groups, and you don't see these photos. So at the end of this trip, Covid ended up being an actual thing and actually very scary. And we were out of the country, so we had to get back in. And we all. Everyone ended up just, like, leaving the spring break early. It was, like, pretty hectic getting out of there just because everyone was trying to get out as fast as they could and rearrange their original travel plans. But we got home, we're in lockdown. I'm back home in New Jersey. I'm sitting in my bed. I'm reminiscing on spring break, and I get a text from my guy friends, and they're like, hey, Alex, we think you should see this. And immediately, I just know it's nothing good. So my guy friend gets on the phone, and he calls me, and he's like, I just want you to know that there's this photo of you online, and it's on the Facebook group. So remember when I told you guys, there's the different groups that you go with to the spring break? So there's say, like, 10 different colleges with this one group, and the group has a photographer, and the photographer uploads all these photos onto the Facebook group. I guess the Facebook spring break photos had just been posted, and there's this photo of me from when I was dancing up on the surface in my bikini. And it is the creepiest photo I have ever seen. This photographer was quite literally under me, like, under my legs. And this photo is very revealing. It's very close. I just remember seeing this photo and being like, oh, my God, I cannot believe this is on the Internet. Like, this photographer quite literally took a photo underneath my legs while I was in a bikini, very close up, and put it onto this Facebook group. So I immediately start freaking out. I send it to my friends, and they're like, oh, my God, this is worse than what I thought. And I'm just feeling, like, first of all, so insecure and embarrassed that, like, all these college kids are having access to this photo, and I'm freaking out. So I messaged the place that we get the tickets at for the spring break photos, and I'm like, hey, so can we take this photo of me down? Like, I really don't like this. Whatever. I feel like this is really inappropriate. And they left it up. They left me on red, and they never sent anything. I don't even know if it's, like, illegal or not, but, like, well, I didn't want to, like, tell my parents. I mean, it's like, nothing was, like, revealing, I guess. I mean, maybe revealing is not the right word. It was definitely things, like, it was just very close photo, like, right under my butt in a bikini. You know, you get the vibe. You get the gist. Things are happening, you know? So I just remember being so embarrassed and being like, oh, my God. So now I'm in lockdown. There's nothing. There's nothing for anyone to do. So all everyone's doing is looking through these photos because, like, what else are we doing? We're all screaming, scrolling on our phones. And I just remember being so embarrassed. So that was my first memory of spring break. We got sent home because of COVID and then they posted my cooch online. So I. Not a great first spring break in my book. This episode is brought to you by Tinder. It's February, and love is in the air all month long. Don't wait around for it to fall in your lap. When you've got Tinder's first impression feature, you can now send a message before you even match. Whether it's calling out their taste in music or dropping a funny line they won't forget, it's low pressure. It's a fun, easy way to put yourself out there. I feel like this is a good feature and you don't have to commit to the match yet, but it's kind of like just sliding into someone's DMs. This is your month for romance, and Tinder is the perfect place to make it happen. 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- [21:34]
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- [22:10]
Alex Earle
Other spring breaks throughout the years, I don't know if we had anything super, super crazy. Oh, actually, such a lie. We did. One year we went to my junior year, we went to visit my friends who were studying abroad and we went out in Lisbon, Portugal, and we had the absolute craziest night. It was just one of those nights with your friends where, like, everyone ended up in a different place. Like, we all ended up back at our Airbnb, but we all were like, how did we all end up here and how did we all separate? And I will say, with spring break and just going out in general with your friends, like, rule number one is just like, do not leave any of your friends alone. We're going to get serious here for a second. Because seriously, like, things happen on these trips and people, you know, get taken away from people or girls, like, meet a guy and they want to leave. But, like, seriously, do not leave your friends alone. Do not leave the bar without them. If they say they're okay, like, they may not be. And I would just always caution to double check on your friends. And if your friend is looking like they've had a little bit too much to drink, I would definitely check up on her and take the time to do so. Because even, like, if, if your friend's drinking, right, and she's, like, seeing a guy, she's probably going to be like, I'm fine. Like, you can leave me here. Like, I'm good to go. Like, no need to check on me. But, you know, we don't always mean what we're saying in the moment if we've had a few drinks. So I would definitely check on your friends. Definitely keep your phones safe. And I don't know, like, don't have your phones out and about where they're gonna get stolen. Like, don't leave it in Your back pocket. Like, keep it in a purse that's under your arm. Because I hear so many stories of people's phones getting stolen on nights out. And. And there's just a lot that can happen. So as much as spring break is, like, really fun, if you girls are going on spring break, you're gonna have the best time. But just make sure to, like, look out for one another, because everyone is unhinged at this time. Like, everyone's just kind of being the worst versions of themselves on sp and things get a little scary and a little trashy. I mean, I remember there was one time, too. Like, everyone's getting cheated on. Like, if we're not on spring break and someone's boyfriend's somewhere else, like, we're finding out that people are cheating and things are getting crazy, and there's crossovers, different schools. So just be careful, because also, spring breaks are, like, a target for people and not to freak anyone out, but definitely make sure you have your friends locations. If you don't have your friends locations, that's, like, the number one thing you should do. And then never leave your friends alone, because anytime that's. I've seen that happen. It's never gone good. And my friends are always actually really, really good about leaving with each other. But that one night in Lisbon, Portugal, we did not. But I feel like I'm being a Debbie Downer and a mom, but I'm just. I'm just trying to. I just want everyone to be safe and happy, and it's cool to care about your friends, and it's cool to be concerned for your friends. So don't feel like you're being the annoying friend. And sometimes, you know, someone always has to kind of, like, be the mom when you're out and, like, lay. Lay down the law. And I definitely have had to do that a few times. And when you have to corral everyone, but even if people are annoying you, it's better to just, like, have their back and be there for them. But asides from the spring break side of things, I wanted to talk about, I guess, like, alcohol and drinking, because I have seen so much recently online about me and what I'm doing. And, like, we've never really had a conversation about me going out, I guess, behind the scenes, besides, like, the crazy stories I tell you guys. And I feel like people think that I'm blacking out every night of my life. And I know that there's, you know, a big audience on here, so I just feel like we should, like, have A honest conversation, because I do go out. I love to have fun. I love to dance, I love to be with my friends. Doesn't mean I'm like, ripping shots every night and, like, getting blackout drunk. And there is definitely a time I will say in like, college, it's just like. And not that this is good at all, but, like, the norm in college is just like, everyone is drinking pretty heavily. Everyone's getting pretty messed up. They're taking a lot of shots. And I feel like there's this, like, underlying pressure. Even if you don't want to drink in college, everyone's like, come on, like, let's do it. And I don't know, I feel like it's not that much of a pressure after college, or at least that I've seen. Like, obviously you have friends sometimes that are maybe like a little pushy or want you to have fun, or if you're not drinking, they think you're not having fun. But I will say it's definitely a bigger pressure in college and something I've learned, actually. And because, I mean, I love you guys. I love you guys so much. But there are times when, like, I'm out and I meet girls and they'll buy me a shot. And like, I just. I found for me that shots aren't. Shots really aren't my thing anymore. Like, I do, you know, once in a while if we're taking a shot, like, it's great, it's good. My mom has always told me that shots were poison. And more recently, I've realized I'm just like, wow. Like, it just really accelerates things, like, really fast. And there's not a need to do that all the time. And I just think I'm. I'm more of like, a sipper recently than like a shot taker. And it's kind of hard sometimes when I guess I have this reputation, I guess, for being fun and partying and going out and drinking, and I do love that. But there's times when girls will buy me shots or buy me drinks, and most of the times it's shots. And, you know, they'll be like, oh, can I get you a shot? And I try to politely decline, but then they're like, come on, like, you're Alex. Like, let's have fun. So if someone's giving you a shot and you don't want to take it, and you should never take a shot from someone that you don't know, whatever. But this is just a little life hack, you take it and you put it in Your mouth, whatever. And then you drink your chaser and you just spit it back into the cup instead of spitting it back out into. Well, I guess, I guess spitting it out nowhere instead of swallowing it. So I don't know if that makes sense. But like, if you're ever feeling pressured and I will spit it back into my cup if I don't want to take it. And it's just like sometimes they're just around people and it's, it's. It's hard to say now, but one of the things I have mastered, I would guess I would say, is finding a balance in my life and what works for me. And like, I love to go out. I love having a good time. But at the same time, that also doesn't mean that we're going absolutely crazy. Like, I really like don't go out that often. But like, when I do go out, I'm gonna be a fun time. And that doesn't mean, that does not mean that I need to be like going absolutely crazy. Like when we did Sally's 24 hour birthday, I had actually I was drinking the drink that I'm coming out with. And we will talk more about next week on Hot Mess. But I was drinking that drink like pretty steadily the whole time. And I felt good. I was like, this is great. I don't need to be like ripping shots. We maybe took like one to two shots the whole 24 hour trip. But I love the balance and I think that that's something that's working really well for me right now. And it's so funny because I think everyone sees, I mean, obviously everyone sees Miami as like a huge party city. And I see it now as my like relaxation, calm zone. Like when I'm in Miami, besides Sally's birthday, I really don't go out much here anymore. I used to a lot, obviously. But like now it's like in between travel, I just want to have a night in. I want to make food, I want to sit on the couch. I want to watch a good show. I don't know, like there's such like a beautiful, calm, serene side to Miami. I think you can be so healthy here. You can be active, you can be outside and lively. And I feel like that's the Miami that I know now. Which is crazy because if you asked me like two to three years ago, it's like the complete opposite. It's like club space and 11 and live and going out and fun parties and fun dinner parties. But like now being in Miami, I feel like it's just like my safe space and my home spot. And like, I guess it just goes to show that wherever you are, it's just a, you know, byproduct of what you make it. And, you know, there's nothing wrong with wanting to go out and wanting to have a good time, and there's nothing wrong also with not wanting to go out and wanting to stay in. But I just feel like, I don't know, I guess we never really talked about that or in a while at least about like taking shots all the time and college. Alex was crazy and off the walls, but I'm pretty contained. Like besides, you know, one to two to three mishaps. Like I'm. I'm pretty. I'm pretty good. Don't hold me too accountable for that. But I am pretty good and I think I'm doing a good job for my this episode is brought to you by Tinder. It's February and love is in the air all month long. Don't wait around for it to fall in your lap. 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- [30:41]
T-Mobile Representative
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- [31:17]
Alex Earle
But we also have a what would Alex do from you guys? Which we have not done. What would Alex do at the end of an episode in a while and questions that you guys have for me, my friends And I are planning our senior year spring break, and without really consulting anyone, one of our friends said she's inviting her boyfriend. There are five of us girls in this group going on spring break, and he would be the only boy slash significant other going since they've been together lately. This friend and her boyfriend haven't separated, and he's infiltrated our girls nights. And now spring break. Do you think this is weird? Would you say something to the friend or just let be? Hmm. Okay, so you guys are planning your spring break, and she just kind of invited her boyfriend on the girls trip. I mean, and I feel like that's something that you should address with the girlfriends, because I feel like there's a girls trip and then there's the girls trip, and then someone's boyfriend's there. It's a little bit different if he's not one of the girls. And hanging out with everyone. I feel like the friend should definitely ask. Maybe she just felt uncomfortable. But I also don't think that's the end of the world. I feel like spring break is a very big social moment where everyone's going. But I think if you're planning a trip where it's like, you all want to stay in a house together, you all want to room together, then it might be a little bit weird having the boyfriend there. So I could definitely see how that's a little weird slash frustrating. And I guess, yeah, I guess that's something I've been, like, dealing with. Now on the opposite end is as I've been in more of a mature relationship, and, I mean, maybe, like, now my friends are more mature, and we're just out of college, and, I don't know, in a little bit more of an adult phase of our lives, it is a little bit more normal for, like, a significant other to be around. But I still think in terms of, like, a girls trip, that should definitely be addressed ahead of time or. Yeah, before she invites him. So I agree. But also, at this point, I don't know if it's worth saying anything if she already invited him. I feel like you just kind of maybe gotta let that one go. All right. Anxiety. Do you suffer from anxiety after going out? I could literally have a great night out and still wake up hungover with my heart racing and this feeling that I did something bad slash embarrass myself. It's so frustrating. How do you deal with it? I mean, I don't get bad anxiety in the sense of caring about what I did. I definitely think after you go out it's normal that you feel anxious and stuff and that's like what alcohol does and not great for you all the time and makes you feel anxious. So if you are feeling embarrassed because you did something though, like, I don't know. I've had a lot of friends where they struggle with that, where they did something and they'll just talk about it all day, all day, all day and replay it. But like, maybe, maybe I'm good at like letting things go, but I feel like it's fine. Like, I don't know, I'm just like, everyone's out. Everyone's having their own thoughts about themselves and what they did. Like, no one's really paying that much attention to like little. Maybe my new thing, the way that I always try to look at it is like you, for example, are sitting there thinking about yourself and replaying it in your head over and over again. And that's what everyone else is probably doing about themselves. Like, no one's sitting and thinking about you, so you just kind of. You have to let it go. And I feel like if you. If we're doing things a lot of the times that we feel like we didn't control ourselves and not good, then maybe we like, reel it back a little for the next time. But I feel like at the end of the day, everyone's thinking about themselves. So don't stress yourself out too much. Me and my boyfriend of three years have been doing long distance for a year now. He's in a frat. Lives in a frat house. He's out partying and drinking every single night just because that. That's the type of environment he's in. And I'm currently trying to work on myself. And I'm a homebody who's in bed early, rarely drinking and waking up early. Before he started living at the house, he would FaceTime me every night and it was great. But now he's up till 3am every night drinking, and I feel like I'm being forgotten about. We just seem to be living different lives and it's affecting me mentally. I don't want him to stop having fun, but he also needs to remember I'm still here. Okay, this one is definitely tough and like that the worst feeling ever. And it's just such a byproduct of when there's a bunch of guys living together and they're all excited. It's the same thing as, like when you're with all your girlfriends and everyone's on the couch and watching a movie and everyone Wants to hang out, but, like, at the same time, he can't completely dismiss you. And it seems like you guys are just having, like, a little bit of a communication issue. Not so much. Like, he seems like the worst person ever, but I would definitely, like, talk to him and let him know that you aren't feeling great about that. And also, like, there is not really a point for him to need to be, like, up drinking every night. Like, there's just. I don't know that I also agree is not really attractive and not the best, unfortunately. I feel like that's what a lot of guys are doing in college, hanging out. But I would just try to talk to him and say, like, hey, not really such a fan of, like, not being able to talk to you as much. And like, like, and come at it from a place of concern because you don't want to, like, start hounding him too crazy. And then he's probably just going to get, like, super defensive. But just letting him know that you're not really, like, loving the. Him staying up all night and not talking to him. I don't know. I always find those things really hard because I. Part of me wants to say, like, he shouldn't be wanting to have fun without you. Like, what's he doing? He should be in bed. But then there's also those moments where it's like, okay, when you're with your friends, or I guess like, when I'm with my friends, and sometimes you just want to, like, be around the girls, be hanging with everyone. So I would definitely make sure that he finds a time to carve out to talk to you. I would also make sure this is not like a. I mean, it doesn't have to be anything crazy, but, like, if he's up drinking with the guys, I would just, like, I would see, like, how controlled this is. Like, are they having a beer? Or is he, like, getting hammered every night with them? Because that's like, a big difference. But I would make sure that he carves out time to talk to you. I think that's really, really important. And that when he is talking to you, he's, like, focused and present. Because when you do long distance, you don't have any other communication other than those times you, like, texting each other, calling each other, facetiming each other. So I think it's really, really important, and he should be taking that seriously. So I feel like maybe even if. I guess, like, long distance for you guys is new. You've been together for three years, so it's maybe just like a conversation that you guys have about carving out a little bit more time to talk to each other and if he doesn't want to carve out more time to talk to you, and if he has a problem with you saying that you have a problem with that, then that's another issue that we'll get into in another episode. Not my favorite, but that's all for this week. I love you guys. I will see you next week. And thanks for listening to another episode of Hot Mess. Bye. Wait, did I just turn that off? How do I get that back on? I'm a hot mess.
- [38:10]
T-Mobile Representative
It's starting to sound like spring, but.
- [38:13]
Alex Earle
It'S not official till you've lit up.
- [38:15]
T-Mobile Representative
The grill with Kingsford Original Charcoal. This time of year, as we break in the backyard with friends and family, everything tastes better cooked with authentic wood fired barbecue flavor.
- [38:27]
Alex Earle
Thanks to Kingsford.
- [38:30]
T-Mobile Representative
Welcome spring. Visit kingsford.com for charcoal and more from America's Grilling expert. Here at the Almond Joy Factory, where.
- [38:40]
Alex Earle
Tropical vibes abound, we use soft, fresh tasting coconut, the crunchiest almonds, and delicious chocolate candy.
- [38:48]
T-Mobile Representative
Ah, but do you know what our.
- [38:49]
Alex Earle
Most most important ingredient is? Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. Almond Joy's got nuts and something even way better than that. Yes, Almond Joy is made with almonds.
- [39:02]
T-Mobile Representative
And Jo.
- [39:07]
Alex Earle
This season a new hot.
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T-Mobile Representative
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- [39:23]
Alex Earle
It's up to you. That's four lines for $25 a line.
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T-Mobile Representative
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- [39:33]
Alex Earle
Plus tax for a limited time and subject to change max one offer per account.