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House Rhules
House Rhule #40: New York and Texas Agree: Texas Tech’s Joey McGuire Knows Football and BBQ | Ep. 6
00:42:22
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- [00:10]
A
All right, let's kick this thing off. Two years ago, Michigan beat you guys 56 to 7. This was a hell of a football game, Coach.
- [00:22]
B
Yeah, and you know me, right? Like, you know, there's. There's no moral victories. I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm smiling, but I'm angry on the inside because, you know, they're a great team. We have a great team, and we had every chance to win the game, but, you know, that's Big Ten football. It's going to come down to the last play. You know, we score, have an onside kick. We just. Just came up a play short, but credit to them, they made some plays, but I think our guys showed. Showed exactly what they're capable of, and we just got to get a little bit better.
- [00:50]
A
What do you take from this now? Like, you're in your mind. If you process the result, piece of it, it's about, like, what do you take? What do you learn from them, and what do they learn from each other? Going through a game like that, a Big Ten game, it's Michigan and the.
- [01:07]
B
Whole thing, you know, Bill Walsh said years ago, champions act like champions before they're champions. They have a winning standard of performance, and I've always believed that. So I look at the positives, I look at the negatives, right? So positives. We get down by 10 the first quarter, we come right back, tie it up, they go up, 17, 10. We throw the Hail Mary, 17, 17. There's been a lot of days since I've been here where you get down and it's like, oh, here we go. But that's. That's not our guy's mindset anymore. So that, that, that. The mindset piece, which is when you take over a program that's been losing, that's the hardest thing to conquer. So I loved the way that they competed. I love the way that they were out there and they were in the battle. I think it's important. Like anything in life, you can't overreact, but you can't underreact. You know, you need to have a calculated response. It's important to go back and say, okay, here's the things we did well now. Like, you know, right now we're in the top five in passing in the country. We're number one in completion percentage. We're 20th in turnover margin. You know, we're doing a lot of things well, so we're really good on special teams. Right now. We're giving up too many explosive runs, so we gave up three runs, that equated to 168 yards. And you know what? Like, you can't win like that. And then we gave up seven sacks. So those are the things, you know, losing that physical battle, those are the things that really bother you. But there's a lot of things we're doing well. And you got to give Michigan credit now. Like, they got some guys and they're a really good team. They got great backs. Their edge player, Barnum, I mean, he's Marvin, he's amazing. And so we'll build off it, man. But like, I just think, like, you just can't be emotional. You can't, you know, overreact, can't underreact. You also can't tell your players it's okay to lose. And so we went in there, man, and we were. I expect them to be mad. They are. I expect myself to our coaches to be mad and. But use that, Use that to get better and to spur something special.
- [02:51]
A
I think you said something that was really profound, which is the Bill Wall statement of acting like a champion before you become that way. Because you know how it is. You've taken over these programs and it's got to be a switch, right? And you got to get them to understand what it's like to, to be a winner and to feel like a winner even before it actually happens.
- [03:15]
B
No doubt. I mean, like, we're going to be in that same situation again here soon, right? We've had, we've had four games this year. We've had two games that were three point games. A three point win for us, a three point win for the other team, three point loss. Like, that's the Big Ten. They're all going to be like this going down the stretch. I mean, maybe one or two won't be that way. And so we better get real, real, real comfortable that college football is becoming more like the NFL, right? Like, there's more parody. The conferences have taken the best teams and put them all together. What was once the Big Ten is, is now completely different. And so, you know, Illinois is a big, big time team. They're a top 10 team. They got crushed by Indiana. Illinois is not going to feel sorry for themselves. BM is going to have them back. They'll, they'll, they'll be back. Notre Dame's in the top 25, and they were 0 and 2 going into last week. So I just think it's. Who can, who can not overreact, who can keep their mindset, who cannot panic? Those are the teams That'll. That'll win in the long run.
- [04:09]
A
How do you then keep their confidence? Like, the whole idea of confidence and believe in who you are, like your own messaging to them. How do you approach it?
- [04:21]
B
I think it all comes from the tape, right? Like, you go back and watch. Watch the plays you won and that. That's who you can be. Like, watch. Watch you cover in their receiver, Watch you getting open, watch you making those blocks. Then you go back and look at the plays we didn't get, and you say to yourself, okay, well, why? Is it just because we're just not good enough? Or is it because, like, hey, the one touchdown run, you know, we got confused, and the one. The safety went down and we had no safety. And so should someone else make the play? Absolutely. But those are things that are correctable. And so sometimes by. By not just avoiding it, by diving in and like, saying to yourself, like, hey, what can we do differently? What can we do better? You. You realize it is within my control. I just, you know, we just got to be a little bit better here and a little bit better here, and. And that then, you know, after a game outside the locker room, there's usually a lot of narratives, because that makes it easy. It makes it easy to say, oh, we lost because of this. I tell our guys, well, you know what? There's probably about 40 plays in that game that if something just goes a little differently, we come out on top. And so. And guess what? Michigan can probably say the same thing. They're probably looking at four. So it's about just trying to fix those 40 plays, and it's not 40 plays for everybody. You know, for this guy, it might be two plays. For me, it might be one decision. For this guy, it might be three plays. Fix those two or three things. It goes back to your point. You know, we don't want to look too much at the past, but we have improved significantly. We are a program on the rise. We are ascending. And so we have to use what happened on Saturday to help us ascend. Right? Like, we have to say to ourselves, okay, here's. Here's what we need to do to make sure this doesn't happen again. And that. I'll be honest with you, that. That's. That's hard to do, but if you can do it, I mean, look what Ohio State did last year. They lost to Michigan the last game of the year in a painful loss, and guess what they did. They. They didn't lose again. And so that's a mature team. And I'm hoping our team can be that mature. I'm sure they will.
- [06:08]
A
I do want to ask you one question about Dylan and bring him up because he's spectacular. I mean, we forget sometimes, you know, it's his second year and that game environment you want to talk about, step it up to the competition. Step it up to the moment. I mean, I thought he stepped up in a big way.
- [06:29]
B
Yeah, I mean, he, you know, to get sacked seven times and still throw for over 300 yards, you know, had the one tough picked interception, you know, tip pick early on, didn't let that bother him. Throws the Hail Mary, hits Jacore to, you know, and then hits Heinrich to score the touchdown at the end. One of my favorite plays is we get in the red zone and Michigan's going to bring a zero blitz and come after us and he makes the check. Not, not some guy on the sideline with a, with a, a card, you know, and a hand signal. Dylan, Dylan's out there. That's like we said, he's playing pro football, you know, and so, you know, I, I believe playing in games like this with all that adversity, with all the stuff that's happened, with all the chaos and coming through it, that's what makes great players great. And he's, he's playing great football. He's got guys around him who are fighting their tails off for him. And we'll build, we'll keep going.
- [07:14]
A
All right, let's cover the world of football like we always do. And today we got a toast. Special teams, what a wild weekend. First of all, it was like block kick chaos in the NFL. All the block kicks, college football, block punts, punch, return for touchdowns. What, like, what, what's going on with special teams?
- [07:36]
B
You know, normally you see it like in like the first, like the first week of college football, you know, but, you know, after our game, I got home, I'm watching that Indiana Illinois game and that's really what got us started. You know, I have always felt like teams that, that go block punts, not rush them, but if you block a punt, that's a team that's playing fearlessly. I mean, you got to run full speed at the punter. If you hit them, they get the ball back. It really shows a lot about their mindset. I thought, I thought what the jets did, you know, jumping over, you know, you have to be in, you have to be in the neutral zone. But what amazing athleticism to jump over the line, block it and run it back. I mean, it's, it's pretty cool to see see guys realizing that you can make plays on special teams that can change the game.
- [08:18]
A
Yeah, it was wild. I mean, you know, in the Eagles Rams two block field goals in the last, in the fourth quarter. And then of course the end of the game, there's Jordan Davis rolling 18 miles an hour to big boy going for a touchdown off the block kick.
- [08:37]
B
That's it. But you know what, it'll be interesting to see because most times when those things start to happen, especially in the league, it'll, it'll self correct real quick. I mean that, that three minutes for field goal on, on Wednesday becomes eight minutes. You know, you put, you put the guys out there who can do it. So I'll be interested to see what the response is because special teams coordinators, they usually don't want, you know, they usually don't let kicks get blocked very often.
- [09:00]
A
Speaking of special teams coordinators, they are different cats. All right. What is it about special teams coaches? Like, is there something in the water with special teams coaches? Because dirt. All nuts. A great nut. I love it. Like a good nuts.
- [09:19]
B
There's no doubt. Well, you know, one thing people don't realize is, or maybe they don't realize is I didn't realize this. I went to the Giants is the special teams coordinator is usually like a, a mini gm you know, in the National Football League, like he, he, he watches everyone's skill set like who's our fifth receiver, who's our third back? He, he is immensely involved in all that. Then who's, who's active on game day and like those guys have to be great not just at, you know, picking players, but utilizing their skill sets. And like, think about it. What makes you want to become a special teams coordinator? You know, sometimes it's, hey, I was a linebackers coach and I, I go this way or I go that way. Our special teams coordinator here, Mike Eckler. And we're, right now, we're in the, you know, we're in the tops in the country right now in special teams. He's crazy. He runs, he runs to the game from the hotel. He goes for a jog and ends up at the game. Like he's. But he was a guy that when he was at Kansas State, man, he made a living running down on kickoff and blowing up the wedge. And I mean to me, special teams is truly love of the game. Those guys love the game. And so you need a coordinator who loves, loves the game and loves those types of players.
- [10:21]
A
A lot of times they could become really good coaches like John Harbaugh became a real successful coach. It's being the special teams coordinator.
- [10:30]
B
Yeah, no doubt. Because. Because they're so good at, like, touching the guys on the defense, touching guys on offense, seeing personnel. And to me, if you can't adequately place your personnel in the right places, if you can't disperse it properly, then you, you probably aren't going to be a great coach, you know, because. Because we all have a certain amount of players who's using them properly. And I think, you know, Coach Harbaugh, John. John's obviously a great example of that.
- [10:52]
A
You got a. Some of that inside you. I mean, all I know is if you're in Italy and you are, have a beautiful dinner of pasta, maybe some wine, and then you see a big hill, right? And then you go, I want to run up that hill. And maybe your buddy Jeff Mesco says, really, we're going to run up the hill. And you run up the hill. That's a true story. That's a special teams coach.
- [11:22]
B
We called that. We were in La Spezia. We called it La Spezia Challenge. Like, we would go to dinner every night. He would always have, like, nice shoes on. By the time we were done, he'd have a pair of sneakers somewhere because I'd be like, we were walking one night, we saw some guys playing pickup basketball. They didn't speak English. Next, you know, we're playing two on two. Then we saw, we saw the hills in La Spezia after like a five course meal. And I'm like, let's go. And we ran to the top and ran back. I mean, he literally almost had a heart attack. He had to, like, coach me through it. But, yeah, I don't know, there's something about. Something about being in Italy that makes you. That brings out that party. But that's what special teams coordinators are like. You have to run headfirst down the field, blow up a wedge, run through contact. I mean, there's got to be something different about you, got to be wired differently. Thank you for being here.
- [12:03]
C
You bet. I appreciate it.
- [12:05]
B
So I remember getting on a plane to fly to Waco, Texas, to be the new head coach. Guy from New York City and not knowing anybody in the state of Texas. And as I drove around trying to hire staff, I kept hearing this name, this legendary name, Joey McGuire. Joey McGuire. Coach McGuire. Coach McGuire. What did you think when they said, hey, they hired a guy from Philadelphia, a New York City guy, to come be the head coach at Baylor in.
- [12:30]
C
Texas well, your reputation of being a tough guy. I thought it would be like it was going to fit. But I was shocked, you know, I mean, I'm an hour away from Waco, coaching at Cedar Hill High School, and I hear the news, and I was like, man, this is the most outside the box, higher in the history of any school in the state of Texas, it seemed like. And. But I'd heard so much about you, so I was like, okay, let's see how it goes.
- [12:57]
B
So, you know, I hired David Wetzel. I hired a Texas high school coach, hired Sean Bell. And David Wetzel kept saying, like, listen, the guy you need to get, the godfather of South Pat, future Texas high school coach, hall of Famer. You need to get Joey McGuire. Other people had tried to hire you. You had all these opportunities to get into college. You never did. What kept you all those years? What kept you at Cedar Hill?
- [13:22]
C
I had the greatest job in the world. Great kids. We had got it going in such a great manner. And then I wanted to coach my daughter, got to coach her in powerlifting, and then I wanted to coach Garrett, you know, And I still remember. I mean, it happened so fast. We get beat in the fourth round. And I'm literally interviewing with you that next Sunday, like a week later. And going into that season, it was kind of a pivotal moment of, like, it's never going to be the same. So is this the time that I do it and I'll never forget, I'm leaving. We meet at IHOP in Hillsborough.
- [13:56]
B
It wasn't really an interview.
- [13:57]
C
It was a lot of coffee and just talking like this. And. And Debbie goes, why are you going like, you're never going to leave Cedar Hill. And I said, there is something about this guy. And I got to figure out, you know, what it is, because just talking to you on the phone and then talking to a lot of different people, it was like, there's going to be. This is going to be a really good fit. If you felt the same way. And it was funny. It wasn't an interview. It was just a whole lot of coffee and some pancakes and talking.
- [14:24]
B
I remember sitting there with you and just being like, this is like, this is like, not me. This is like. But like, me. This is like us. Yes. I've never met somebody who understands the way I feel and think like this, but my job was easy. I hired you. You had to uproot your family, your life, everything. What made you have the courage to do that?
- [14:45]
C
You know, I walked out. I literally called Debbie, and I said, if he offers us the job. We're going to Baylor. And she was like, what? And I said, I can get emotional just thinking about it. I said, when you meet this guy, you'll get it. Everything that we believe in, he believes in, and he's doing it at a different level. And I was like, I need to find out, you know, I want to work for somebody like that. And so it was such an easy decision, you know, and going back on it changed my life.
- [15:12]
B
One of the things that you taught me, and you taught me in the form of a story was when you talked about going to Cedar Hill. At the time wasn't a football school when you first took the job. Young coach, tell me. Tell everyone that watches this. Tell me about building the trophy case. I think that's one of the great stories I've ever heard.
- [15:30]
C
I'm 31 years old. I'm the youngest high school coach, I think, in the state of Texas, especially at the 5A level. And we are at a school that's a basketball school. David Milson had won 700 games as a basketball coach. And it's interesting because you wouldn't think a basketball football coach that are really kind of competing for the same guys, and he really didn't have to compete for those guys before would be. He was such a mentor. And I came in, and he could do anything. He would build these trophy cases. I mean, he did it. He stained them, everything. And I heard that he had redone his locker room. So I go down the locker room, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, Coach, this is beautiful. And he has trophies everywhere in all these beautiful cases. And I literally turned to him and I said, I need some of these trophies. We've got to win. And he goes, you're thinking about this all wrong. You got to build the cases first. I walked out of that office. I called. We called them the Rickeys. There were two maintenance guys. I said, could you meet me down by my office? There was an old inset where it was the old payphones. I mean, that's. And they had taken the payphones out. And I said, could you finish this out and do a trophy case? And they did. And literally that trophy case was empty. There is. I always say it because it's above my office now. And everybody goes, oh, that's Tad Lasso. There was black letters that said believe in the trophy case. So before Ted Lasso did Believe, you.
- [16:59]
B
Might be Ted Lasso.
- [17:00]
C
I might be, yeah. And so I had that in there, and then we won the district championship the next year for the first time in, like, 25 years. And then if you go into Cedar Hill now, there's. All around the hallway is trophy cases and trophies.
- [17:14]
B
Like, when you think about what makes you a great coach, is it that. Is it that you inspire belief? It takes guts to put that there. Like you're building a trophy case and you have no trophies. People look at you like you're nuts. What makes you be the one who's able to do it?
- [17:31]
C
I think one that drew me to you, too, was like this. It's. At the end of the day, I know we're football coaches and X's and O's and I love the game of football, but it's all about people and the relationships you can build and how you can change people's lives, you know, and that's why we coach, you know, the people that do it for the right reasons. It's all about the players. You know, I've got 11 guys walking stage today that just graduated from college that, you know, we're in. I mean, we're in contact with them this morning, man. Enjoy the day. Wish we could be there. We'll have some people there from our staff, you know, to celebrate with them, but that's what it's all about, you know, I said, so I think you connect those people and you can inspire them to do things that a lot of people in their families, they haven't done before, that they get to do.
- [18:18]
B
I mean, I know I'm a calm guy as a coach and all that, and sometimes I forget things that happen. Did I ever do anything crazy? Did I ever, like, snap? Did I ever, like. I mean, have I ever. Is there anything I need to apologize to you for? Like, did I ever.
- [18:31]
C
You changed my life, but you also changed my son's life. That's a. I think it's a great story about him because he was going to the University of Texas. It's Martin Luther King Day, and we're in installing, like, we have a brand new offensive staff and there are some guys that have worked together. You brought your whole defensive staff. So it was totally different. I'll never forget. He goes, dad, can I come down and sit in some meetings? Because he was still in school, and we go to lunch and he goes, I need to come to Baylor. I'll have more access. He knew he was going to be a coach. We go to lunch and I said, well, you need to talk to Coach Rule. I'll go in there and talk to him. But if you want to walk on at Baylor, you haven't applied. You need to start getting everything ready. And literally, it really did change his life. Long story long. The moment we were practicing, we had a Saturday night scrimmage. I don't know if you remember.
- [19:17]
B
I don't remember any of this.
- [19:18]
C
Oh, this is so good. So, because he was a quarterback, he was on the headsets, and you ripped my tail. I mean, it was the best, you know, and I appreciated it. My coaches that coached with me for so many years, they used to love to come to practice, and every once in a while, if you did get on me, they would be like, secretly, finally, my. You know, they were fired up. But you ripped my tail. And I deserved it. I think I said something that, you know, like, question or whatever, and you. You're like, this isn't the time, but you ripped me. And then you apologize for it because you go, I didn't know Garrett was on the headsets. And I said, coach, she's heard much worse. He's been on the headsets all his life. So I still. I laugh at that because that was such a. That was such a great moment.
- [20:00]
B
You're at Texas Tech now. You're the head coach in college.
- [20:02]
C
Yeah.
- [20:02]
B
You got all these guys coaching for you. Have you had that same moment where you had to rip someone on a headset?
- [20:07]
C
Oh, yeah, yeah. It's. It's always funny, and it. It's all in the moment. And I always tell everybody, all the coaches I coach with and everything is like, look, you need to understand, on game day, I'm a totally, like, different person. But, you know, one thing I learned from you, and I use this all the time, is, like, when you're between the white lines, it's nothing personal. You know, it's. Iron sharpens iron. We're going to get after each other. Whatever comes out of my mouth, do not take it personal. And I always try not to be personal whenever we're doing that stuff. And then whenever you step off the field, it's totally a different, you know, situation, you know? And so I do warn guys if they've never coached with me, just understand, whatever comes out of my mouth is not the personal. It's just we're all trying to win.
- [20:47]
B
So you're the first to put the believe sign.
- [20:49]
C
Yeah.
- [20:50]
B
Infectious person. I think about when my daughters used to walk in the facility. Like, they'd run past my office. They wouldn't come see me first. They'd be like, Where's Coach JoJo at? Get a Big hug from you. Like, you have this infect. Could you. Could you. Could you win a championship coaching soccer coach?
- [21:05]
C
No, I don't know about soccer, man. I don't know about soccer. I'd give it. I'd give it a.
- [21:09]
B
But you've done it all. You've coached in high school, you've coached in college. Everyone thinks there's all these differences. Coaching's coaching. Like.
- [21:13]
C
Yeah.
- [21:14]
B
When you think about all the years, like, what's your favorite part of just being a coach?
- [21:19]
C
I know you're the exact same way. But when you get calls from players of, like, James Lockhart, who you coached, who you changed his life, and now he's a coach, you know, and he coached for me for a while now. He's a Rio Grande, and he has a daughter, and he's sending me pictures as soon as she's born, saying, hey, you're a granddad now, because he's like a son to me, you know, and stuff like that. Like, when you get those calls and you know that you made an impact, and you. I know you've had these calls, but, like, 10 years later, coach, I know why you were so hard on me. I now use that with my son, or I now use those, like, stuff that came out of your mouth. I use it. I find myself, and it's like, whenever, you know, I were growing up, we got two really strong dads, you know, that are incredible men, and we use their verbiage and stuff with our kids, and now all of a sudden, there's guys that are using our verbiage and they're raising their kids. I think that's the, you know, whole reason you coach.
- [22:22]
B
So we talked about sitting at the IHOP like that. I mean, another. Another pivotal moment in my life. Probably your life, your life, but I was a part of. It also happened, I think, like on i35, going to. Going to the Big 12 championship game, and we were sitting at a. I don't know, a barbecue place.
- [22:39]
C
Yeah. Hard 8:35. Yes, sir.
- [22:42]
B
And you had been offered the UTSA job.
- [22:46]
C
Yeah.
- [22:46]
B
You know, there's rumors I might leave, might not leave. I wanted you to take the job to make sure you got a head coaching job, because I knew that. I knew you were gonna be a great college head coach. And in the parking lot, you told me, you said, hey, I'm not taking the job. I'm stay at Baylor. Which pretty soon, when I went to the Panthers, you also didn't go with me. You didn't do it, but you made Some courageous decisions. How did you do that? And then when it didn't go exactly the way you wanted right afterwards, you didn't get the Baylor job. How did you process that?
- [23:15]
C
Well, first you thought I was nuts.
- [23:18]
B
Trust.
- [23:19]
C
Trace thought I was nuts, Alex thought I was nuts, and Debbie thought I was nuts. And, you know, after the Baylor job, I was like, how bad did I just mess up my career as far as. Like, these jobs are so hard to get, and you might not get the opportunity again. It was really hard because the one thing that I told Debbie when we were talking is I said, if Coach Rule leaves and I don't get the opportunity at Baylor, just the opportunity to interview for the job, I said, I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life. And I said, I'm willing to live with that. I'm not willing to live with it, the regret part of it, you know, and so I turned it down and then came in second for the Baylor job. And, you know, it was really hard, you know, processing through that. And in 21, I literally was. I think you. And I had talked and I talked to Alex and I said, should I go to Carolina? This totally now remakes my career. I'll go now. I'm not a high school coach that's coaching college. I'm really an NFL coach now. That's coaching college. So it kind of changes the narrative for the next head coaching job. And Alex asks, he goes, how good can you be at Baylor? And I said, well, we've got a chance to be really good. There was some changes made, especially with Jeff Grimes coming in as the offensive coordinator. And he said, well, if that's the case, you need to stay because there's going to be some jobs opening up in the state of Texas. What's crazy is we thought three were going to open, and one of the three opened, and the one that opened was really my dream job. So it kind of. I mean, worked out perfectly.
- [24:55]
B
You came to Carolina because your son Garrett obviously was working for me. And we were sitting at the Palm, you know, and they just put my face up on the wall. They probably have taken it down on. But it was up there. And I never forget. Julie says to you, julie, do you regret that decision? I was like, I almost choked on my chicken, like, but did you regret it? I mean, did you think you were gonna get another chance or, you know, were you kind of like, hey, this is just. This is just what it is.
- [25:23]
C
Like, at the same time, Covid hits and it changes the whole world. And we had a terrible year. So then you're like, question, like, man, should I have gone to Oklahoma where I had an opportunity after, you know, I didn't get the Baylor job? Should I have gone to, like, just different places? So I had to take a real step back and change the way I talked. You will totally get it. But I had to stop talking to myself in different ways. Like, the inner voice that we're always feeding, good or bad. I had to be like, I was feeding a lot of bad because I was feeding a lot of regret. I was feeding a lot like, you.
- [25:57]
B
Your.
- [25:57]
C
You. How did you do this? Why did you make this? And it was like, I've got to stop doing that. I've got it. Because it was changing the way I was around players. And whenever that started happening, I was like, okay, there's something wrong here. You got to regroup. And. And, you know, and it worked out. We had a great year the next year and was able to get the Texas Tech job.
- [26:17]
B
So you get the Texas Tech job, coach. Now. Now it's like, you got to deal with the ups and downs, the highs and lows. How do you control that inner voice now? I can tell you my. It talks to me all the time. Like, how do you keep it? How do we as coaches, how do we as, like, leaders? How do you keep it positive?
- [26:34]
C
You know, I changed again this year, so I've always been one of these people, and I think people are. There's different people that can do it this way. I always thought I was a guy that could do this way. Like, the negative feeds me. You know, I. When people say I can't do stuff and everything, I want to prove them wrong. I'm still like that. But I used to read a lot of stuff, like, hey, you know, Coach McGuire's a high school coach and he's not getting it done and stuff like that. And there was a point this year that. That I was like, man, this is again starting to consume. And just. I always judge everything, how I'm around the players. Like, if I'm the same guy every single day and that guy that I want to be, then we're good. But whenever I start changing towards the players, that's. Whenever I always, like, okay, something's up. And so I literally, like, I'm still on social media from, like, just recruiting, all that stuff. But I just stopped. I blocked some people. I stopped reading the negative stuff. I said, debbie, get off of this, you know, message board and everything. You know, it is what it is. Let's just. And that again, recentered me for the players, you know, and that was a big part because that has never been me. I've always wanted that. Like, it's almost like that negative gets you in here and you're like, okay, let's just go take on the world. And it was going the wrong way.
- [27:57]
B
Obviously. You've been a part of my family's life, been a part of my kids life. We had the honor of like being a part of your son's life, your family's life, like coaching him. But you got to coach him, you got to coach him in high school, you got to coach him in college and you got to. Now he coaches with you as you get older, you know, as I get older, like, what matters, like, what really, really matters in our lives.
- [28:20]
C
This right here, Like, I don't think people understand how close we are. Like, he's my son, but there was changes that happened on my staff and your staff before I even would even say, hey, Garrett, let's talk to coach rule about coming and coaching for me. And that's my flesh and blood. So before that would even happen, I take it from you, from the standpoint, this Italian almost this mafia mentality, like family, people don't understand how close we are, you know, and stuff like that, and the stuff that I've gotten from you and learned, use it every day. And so I think that's what's important. Like at the end of the day, the relationships that we have with each other, the relationships we are building with our players, we want to win. And when you win, you get to keep your job. And that's the thing, the winning part gets you able to affect a lot of people's lives and continue to do it. But you know, I think the relationship piece of all of this is what's so important.
- [29:18]
B
I think that's one of the hardest things for me is like I started at Temple, you know, it was 10 coaches, a couple gas, you know, patent, you know, got ops guy, weight room guys, 12 now. Now I run an organization. You run an organization. Like, and for people who are wired, we just want to be in the locker room with the guys. You said Italian, like la familia. Like, I just want to like be close to everybody. When you get to the status, like, you don't get to talk to other head coaches. You have to walk in every day and be the face of the organization. You know, like, where do you find balance? Like, how do you find connection? Like, where. What are the things that you do to keep yourself, like, mentally and emotionally charged in a good place. Because I get lonely in this job, which, if you're doing it right, you probably are gonna get a little bit lonely. Cause you're leading. How do you combat that?
- [30:05]
C
You know, staying connected with your family. You know, Greg said it this morning, like, you gotta have those people that are gonna. To an extent, he might not have said exactly like this, but the stuff that you need to hear versus what you want to hear, you got to have some of those people in your life. And then you. You do, like, you know, I'm going to sit on the back porch every night and take a deep breath, whether it's 10 minutes or 30 minutes, and, you know, try to recharge. But I believe this. I believe this in my heart. And people are my, you know, my players. And people will say, like, he's the same way every single day. He's always excited. He's very happy to see everything. I think every morning you get up when your feet hit the floor. That's choice. You know, you choose that stuff. And so that's one thing. Even whenever I'm not feeling the best, I have the chance to make somebody, you know, feel good. So it's like how you. I think it's really important you're intentional in doing that.
- [30:59]
B
Every day people will ask me, like, how do you feel about Joey? And I can't I explain it one way. I'm kind of a bougie traveler. I like to travel nice. I like to stay in nice hotels. In 27 years of college coaching, I've only stayed at one coach's house and slept in their kid's bedroom on multiple times. And that's. But to be fair to me, your wife always had cocktail waiting. She had food waiting. She had an amazing. I was like, how are you not fat Eating that breakfast every morning that she. That we would wake up to, like. But, like, you know, to share, open someone's home. Share someone's home. Like, I don't do that for anybody, and no one can stay at my house, so. But those were fun moments.
- [31:38]
C
They were. It's the best. I still remember you woke up and gone. Man, I slept so good. It was in, you know, and the room was dark. And what's funny is, I didn't get those breakfasts every day. I liked whenever you came because there was a breakfast every day whenever we. When you opened up. But it was the same way. We got to come and, you know, spend a week with y' all and your family. In Jersey and, you know, and on the. On the beach. I mean, I remember those. I mean. I mean, those are some of the best moments, you know, that you get to share with people.
- [32:08]
B
So your daughter, Reagan.
- [32:10]
C
Yeah.
- [32:11]
B
Amazing fashion designer. Taking the world by storm. She marries a New York City guy.
- [32:15]
C
Yeah.
- [32:16]
B
Like, did you ever know that Italian food could be that good till you went to. You finally ate in the five boroughs.
- [32:23]
C
No, man. And that's. And he's a foodie, you know, and he is an Italian Joe Tocco from Long Island. And the wedding was almost a movie because you. We did it in Texas. And half of the. Of course, the wedding party and everybody's texting and other half, so full blown New York. But, you know, I love New York. And that was the thing. I always like people. It gets a bad rap from people from the south because they think, hey, you know, people are rude and everything. They're not. They just. They're just who they are. And they're busy and they're going places and they don't need to say hello to you. You know, when I went, I fell in love with the place. And the food is absolutely incredible.
- [33:00]
B
The next time I come to Texas, like, where do I get barbecue? What's the. Not like, I'll go here, but do that. You got one place. One place you go to, and you can't be in Lubbock, so that way you don't upset anybody. From nothing. West Texas. I'm in, like, Central I35 corridor, Dallas, all the way off down to, you know, Houston. Where am I going?
- [33:22]
C
I'm going to Cooper's in Llano, Texas. Yeah. I mean, you're going to go in, you're going to walk in, and they're going to open up the pits, and you're going to get to pick out of the pits, and they've got really. Their homemade barbecue sauce. That's always my. My go to. There's a bunch of different places, but I'm going to Llano, Texas, where's the.
- [33:40]
B
Big 12 championship game this year?
- [33:42]
C
It's at. AT&T Stadium. Yeah. And it's one of my favorite places to coach. I need to get back there and coach in it.
- [33:47]
B
Well, I believe.
- [33:48]
C
Yeah, no doubt. Thank you, brother.
- [33:54]
A
All right, time now for our mail. Lot of people on house rules. They want to pick your brain coach. So I got a guy, Andrew Hannes, he said new dad here, looking for tidbits of advice to help raise a warrior girl. Also looking for a book recommendation for being a dad, a coach that's leadership life, whatever. And he goes, I'm waiting for the rule book club, because he wants to be a member of it.
- [34:28]
B
Well, book, I think one of the best books I ever read about parenting is how to really love your child. Okay? So it's, It's. It's awesome. And I think one of the things you think about is you think about, like, your child having, like, a love tank, you know, and like, hey, you know, have I filled up their love tank? You know, are they walking around half empty or 3/4 empty? And so, especially in the world we live in now, like, you know, I mean, you know, the messages being sent to them, just, you know, the cyber world and, you know, things that can, you know, you say something mean to somebody, it goes echoes off. You text something mean to somebody stays forever. And so never really knowing what our children are dealing with. You know, I think. I think that concept of, like, you know, making sure that they always feel full and loved, I think is really, really important. But, you know, I learned a great. I learned two great lessons this year. I'm going to tell two stories about two great basketball coaches, coaches. So my daughter Leona is the Younger1. She's 10. She's very competitive, and she played basketball last year, and they. They lost a game and lost a game. And she would always walk off the court and storm off after the game. And I'd try to say something to her. She'd be like, leave me alone, and walk out crying in the car. And I was telling Amy Williams here, our esteemed women's basketball coach, I was like, man, I gotta. She's such a poor sport. I gotta talk to Leona. Like, she yells and screams at me and cries after every game. And Amy says, leave her alone. If she's competitive, like, breed it. It's so hard to find. She's like, don't take that away from her. And I was like, oh, okay, I guess I'll shut up. I don't know, you know, what she knows about raising warrior basketball players, not me. And so then my older daughter, Vivi, and Vivi's, you know, a foot taller than most kids in her grade, right? And, you know, she, like, I've tried to try to train her a little bit to, like, be a back to the basket player. Like, she's like, you know, the Rick Mahorn of, you know, she's out there throwing bows. But then she would go to, like, these travel basketball things if she wanted to do it. And everything's like, you know, dribbling and being a guard, and so she'd get a little frustrated. And I remember I was talking to Corey Close, and she's the women's basketball coach at ucla. She's. She's another awesome coach. And I was telling her this, like, yeah, I get kind of frustrated, you know, because she'll go do basketball stuff, and instead of, like, being like a big player, you know, it's all this other stuff. She's like, matt, that's the game today. Like, women's basketball. You have to be able to play all five positions. You have to dribble. You should encourage her to do those things. Don't tell her. And I was like, what is wrong with me? I'm being a helicopter parent right now. Like, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm taking the easy way. And so I think the biggest thing for us as dads, at least when it comes to. When it comes to, like, our kids, whether it's sports, whatever school, is like, loving them, but also having really, really high standards for them. And, like, you know, like, think about, you know, how would. How would you treat your son? And then do the same thing with our daughters. You know, I love my daughters. I'm going to be there for them. When they fall down, I'm going to pick them up. But the best thing I can do is teach them how to get up and coach Williams and Coach Close. They put me in my place when it comes to women's basketball. So I'm just going to stick to football. But I'm trying to raise two warriors out there. I love it.
- [37:30]
A
I love it. I love the love tank. I. My two boys, man, and, you know, I just thought, they're my world, right? So that love tank is a. Is a beautiful thing.
- [37:41]
B
Yeah. No, you know, it's funny. One thing my father said to me, I feel obliged to share this with me. My dad sometimes will say to me, you know, so often in life, we walk around and we see people that are struggling or, you know, having issues or whatever, and we'll say, man, what's wrong with that person? And my dad always encourages me to say, hey, you know, what happened to that person? Instead of saying, what's wrong with them? What happened to them? And I think when you start thinking of it that way, when people are acting out or people are struggling, maybe they just. Maybe they don't feel any love. Maybe they feel alone. Maybe they're struggling with something. Maybe they haven't shared it to somebody. And maybe you. Whether it's your kids or just someone you work with or someone you meet? Maybe we can be the solution. Maybe we can be the person who corrects those things. And so I think those are really good perspectives of, hey, what's going on on the inside of somebody. And when you start doing that, you're empathizing with them and that that allows you to. That allows you to reach them.
- [38:31]
A
I hope that's great advice. I love it. Tell dad, thank you. I'm going to employ that. All right, time now to look ahead like we always do. Now, you'll obviously be preparing for Michigan State in two weeks, but this is your first buy. So a couple things. One, what's your schedule with the team and how does that work? And two, what does Matt Rule do on a bi week Saturday at home?
- [39:05]
B
Well, I think the first thing, and I think we have to say this is, you know, when we decided to do this podcast and we wanted to bring attention to coaching, we wanted to bring attention to parenting, we wanted to bring attention to sports and attention to Nebraska, we knew that there was a possibility that there'd be a day we had to do it after a loss. And I think that's really important that, like, the standard is the standard and the process is the process. And what we believe is that you, you can't change your standard based upon your feelings. Like, I'm angry today. I'm smiling, but I'm angry on the inside. I'm hurt on the inside, you know, but it's like, man, we're going to stick to the process and trust that we're doing the right things. Because, you know, it's one thing that it's one thing to see the podcast after a win and all that was great and it was 60. It's another thing after a loss and have it be real and authentic. So I think that's number one. And that leads into the week. Man, like, we came in on Sunday, we lifted, we did rehab, we met, we watched the tape, we told the truth. The guys have today off, go to class, dinner, and then we'll practice Tuesday morning, Wednesday morning, Thursday morning. We have to get better. They'll have Friday, Saturday off, and then I'll leave recruiting Thursday. So I'll be flying all around the country. I'll be on the Husker jet. I think I'll be in four states. I'll get back either late Friday night or early Saturday morning. Saturday morning, Bud Crawford Parade, Omaha. We have to represent. The champ led us out onto the field on Saturday. Sat with Julie up in the suite. Just an amazing man. Champions. We're gonna go celebrate him, and then I'll be a college football fan all day. Now Michigan State's off, too, so I can't watch them. But, you know, there'll be some teams that we face. You know, Penn State plays Oregon. We face Penn State. Later in the year. There'll be some different teams to have a chance to watch on tv. But, you know, I love. I love this game of football, and I will be excited to watch it.
- [40:44]
A
I love the messaging because it's the truth. I mean, like, full disclosure, I left you alone. Like, I wasn't going to text you or call you yesterday. I wanted you to. You don't want to hear, hey, man, it was great. Even though I could sit here and tell you, you know, two years ago, you lost 56 to 7 to that team. That's a program that's won a national championship two years ago, so. But you don't want to hear about it. And I think it's great for your team. This is me talking that after a loss, you're here. You're not ducking anything. It's not about always in the good times. The good times are always going to happen, and you should celebrate them. But it's. It's about that everyday grind. And that's why I think it's important today.
- [41:28]
B
No, no doubt. I always talk about convenient leadership. Like, you know, don't. Don't leave. It's easy to lead when things are going well. Give the speech, break everybody down who shows up when there's some adversity. But here's the thing. Every college football team, maybe one or two, is going to lose a ball game this year. Who are you? The next day, the day after, the day after? And so that's. I can't say that to my team, hey, what's next? Let's move forward and then not do it myself. Yeah, two things can be true. We can be mad, we can be angry. We can be hurt, whatever. But yet we still have to. We still have to show up. And that's what makes a man a man. That's what makes a competitor a competitor. Well, that's it. Another episode in the can. Please remember to, like, share or subscribe on YouTube or wherever. Get your podcasts and please follow house rules on socials until next time.