How Did This Get Made? — The Adventures of Pinocchio LIVE! (Classic)

Recorded live at the Chicago Theater — April 14, 2026
Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas

Overview

On this raucous, live edition of How Did This Get Made?, Paul, June, and Jason dive headlong into the baffling nightmare that is 1996’s The Adventures of Pinocchio—starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas (“in full effect for the last 30 seconds of this movie”) and Martin Landau. What starts as a teardown of questionable CGI and even weirder narrative choices quickly becomes one of the more unhinged and hilarious explorations the HDTGM trio have done, punctuated by audience questions and wild, personal stories.

Main Discussion & Key Insights

1. The Movie: A Haunting Adaptation

• General Consensus: The film is "fucked up and weird" (Paul, 02:54). It attempts to reimagine the beloved Pinocchio tale but jettisons innocence for unsettling and occasionally erotic undertones.
• Jason's Take: "I have not ever seen this waking nightmare of a film. This was haunting." (04:15). He dubs it “straight up garbage” and likens the special effects to unfinished animatics: “All of the cg, all of the effects look like previs... like the idea of what we were gonna draw. But then they're like, fuck it, put it in.” (05:06)
• June’s Threshold: Even a luxury hotel stay, usually a reliable boost for June, cannot save the experience: "For me to have such a negative reaction to a movie during a luxury hotel experience means it's really quite, quite bad." (08:14)

2. Performance & Characters

• JTT vs. Landau: Despite Jonathan Taylor Thomas's top billing, he barely appears: "This is a Martin Landau vehicle, friend. This is part of the Landaussance as far as I'm concerned." (04:37)
• Puppet Design Issues: The Pinocchio puppet and the human child bear little resemblance. "The problem with the puppet though, of JTT Pinocchio was he looked nothing like Jonathan Taylor Thomas at the end." (12:11)
• Accents & Names: Confusion reigns over Jiminy Cricket’s stand-in “Pepe,” Stromboli’s replacement “Lorenzini,” and wild, untethered European accents. “These accents are gonna come and they're gonna go. Can't hang on to them.” (29:46)

3. Themes & Troubling Content

• Sexual Undertones: The gang repeatedly mentions how inappropriately sexual some sequences are, especially involving Pinocchio’s nose. Jason: “Every time that nose grew, I was like, somebody in this room is turned on. There wasn't me.” (05:43)
• Disturbing Imagery: From Geppetto and naked-Pinocchio’s bath scene (“Martin Landau is wearing clothes in the bath. Fucking Italians.” (19:49)) to sawdust sneezes and overtly erotic whale-escape scenes (“Look at this first moment where Pinocchio's nose is. Enters frame while he and Martin Landau are in the same shot—is pretty sexual, I think.” (37:20) )

4. Narrative Illogic & Weird Worldbuilding

• Rules of Magic: Confusion about how the magic works: only Pinocchio is alive since he was carved from a magic tree; the rest are just marionettes. (14:40)
• Geppetto’s Backstory: Uncomfortably “problematic,” as Geppetto is in love with Leona, his brother’s wife, and the magic is drawn from that unrequited love, not a parental wish for a child. (15:08–19:15)
• No Reaction to Living Puppet: No one in town seems fazed by a talking, walking wooden child. “There is a wooden boy walking and living amongst us... No one's frightened by him. He is a part of society. Which makes me go, did he do this before?” (32:01–32:46)

5. The Book vs. the Movie: Audience Q&A Deep Dives

• Why Turn Kids into Donkeys?: During the audience Q&A, one attendee summarizes the original book’s grim details: “They turned them into donkeys to kill them and sell them for skin.” (24:46)
• Recurring Audience Questions:
  • Why donkeys? (60:06) “How do donkeys do good deeds to become boys again?”
  • Why not use regular kids in the puppet show? (58:26)
  • Why is only one character, Dawn French’s baker’s wife, actually frightened by Pinocchio? (57:08)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Film’s Tone:
  • “If I was ever tricked into taking a child to this, I am creating trauma for my children.” — Paul (05:30)
  • “It was also, like, overtly sexual in any and all ways. Every time that nose grew, I was like, somebody in this room is turned on.” — Jason (05:43)
• On the Running Time:
  • “There was no way the movie was an hour and 45 minutes. This was a five hour movie.” — June (08:37)
• On Pinocchio’s Magic:
  • “Maybe they just wanted it that way...Did Leona and Geppetto’s brother have any children?” — June (17:07)
• On the Morality of Donkey-Transformation:
  • “I think he's trying to get that ass. Sorry, it's not very good wordplay.” — Jason (22:30)
• On the Nose Scene in the Whale:
  • “So, Pinocchio's idea is he'll use his nose to stretch out or irritate the animal so that they can get expelled, basically.” — Paul (37:10)
• On Gold Stars for Nightmare Fuel:
  • “My teenage son said it gave him nightmares. Five stars.” — Amazon Review read by Paul (63:07)
• On Childhood Trauma (Paul’s Family Stories):
  • “My grandmother used to tell me this story when I was a kid that I needed to lock the door to my house because when she lived in Garden City there was a little boy and he didn’t lock his door and one day he was in his bed...” (46:45ff) — leads to horrified reactions from both Jason and June

Wildest Tangents

• Paul’s Stories of Childhood Terror (46:39+)
  Paul shares the story his grandmother told him about a butcher kidnapping children who forgot to lock their doors (47:07), and a prank his stepfather played involving a fake escaped serial killer during a backyard campout (51:05), prompting shock from June and Jason.

  “To even make an 8 year old aware of the concept of murder for pleasure... is insane.” — Jason (52:45)

• CD-ROM Game Spin-Off (65:22)
  Paul reveals that there was a Pinocchio video game, featuring live-action sequences even creepier than the movie. “This is straight up terrifying.” — Paul (66:25)

Timestamps for Highlights

• [02:21] Live from Chicago & Intro to the Film — “We saw the Adventures of Pinocchio, so you know what that means...”
• [05:30] The Sexual Subtext & Trauma — “If I was ever tricked into taking a child to this, I am creating trauma...”
• [08:14] June’s Reactions: Luxury Hotel & Endurance — “Such a negative reaction... means it’s really quite quite bad.”
• [12:11] Puppet’s Bizarre Likeness to JTT
• [15:08] Geppetto’s Magic, Love Triangle Explained
• [19:49] The Bathroom Scene
• [21:07] “Human Trafficked” by Lorenzini
• [23:15] Donkey Transformation & Original Book Deep Dive
• [29:46] The Accents Debate
• [34:28] Girls Missing from Pinocchio’s Italy
• [36:05] Pinocchio’s Nose: Missed Morality
• [37:10] Escape From the Whale & Overtly Sexual Scene
• [46:39] Paul’s Grandmother’s Butcher Story
• [51:05] Camping Serial Killer Prank
• [55:58] Audience Q: The Fish Puppet & Donkey Deeds
• [63:07] Five Star Amazon Reviews
• [65:22] Pinocchio CD-ROM Spin-Off
• [68:03] Would You Recommend This Movie?

Final Recommendations (and Condemnation)

• Unanimous Do Not Recommend.
  Jason: “I didn’t care for it and it was not fun enough.” (68:10)
  June: “I have to spend time erasing some images and imagery that I saw.” (68:14)
  Paul: “I don't know if I would recommend this movie either, but it's so bizarre.” (70:13) (He briefly wavers but ultimately agrees: "No, I would watch Drop Dead Fred over this. I would. Yes, indeed. Just for the pain. This has scarred me on a deep, deep level." (71:32))

Audience Q&A (55:52–61:07):

Standout Questions:

• Why does only one character react to Pinocchio's weirdness? (57:08)
• Why not just cast real boys in the puppet show? (58:26)
• How can donkey-boys do good deeds when they’re donkeys? (60:06)
• “Can we talk about the POV shots from Pinocchio where he's basically like a serial killer shot?” (60:47)

Not To Be Missed:

• Amazon Five Star Reviews of Terror: “My teenage son said it gave him nightmares. Five stars.” (63:07)
• Jason on the film’s missed comic opportunities: “There was very little lying. There was very little nose growing...I thought that was Pinocchio's whole thing!” (36:05)
• Paul’s family horror stories, deeply bewildering June and Jason. (46:39ff)

Conclusion

A fever dream of a children’s film, The Adventures of Pinocchio gets the full HDTGM treatment: disbelief, laughter, and outright horror. With themes and visuals more disturbing than enchanting, and a baffling disregard for child psychology, the hosts and audience agree this one’s best left to the annals of weird 90s cinema history. As Jason puts it, "This was haunting."

For a deeper dive, catch the mini-episode follow-up and join the conversation.