
Kevin Smith (Clerks) joins Paul, Jason, and June to help break down and share his unique connection to the 1999 steampunk action-comedy Wild Wild West starring Will Smith and Kevin Kline. The crew discuss Dr. Loveless’s spider fetish, the huge robot dildo, the awful racist jokes, the murder discs with spider emblems, and so much more. (Ep. #43 Originally Released 08/21/2012)
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Paul Scheer
From origin to legend.
Jason Mantzoukas
I need to become a symbol.
Kevin Smith
I need to become Batman. Become the hero.
June Diane Raphael
Someone's gotta step up, build the legacy.
Jason Mantzoukas
Let's get to work. You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts.
Paul Scheer
I'm allergic to nuts.
Jason Mantzoukas
Lego Batman.
Kevin Smith
Legacy of the Dark Knight.
Jason Mantzoukas
This is my favorite part.
Paul Scheer
Out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series XS and PC.
Kevin Smith
Rated E10 for ages 10 and up.
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Jason Mantzoukas
It's Men in Black in the old west, but way more racist. We saw Wild, Wild west, so you know what that means.
Kevin Smith
Now it's time for how to discover. How to discover. Let's wallow in the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the
Jason Mantzoukas
question, how did this get made? Hello, people of Earth, and welcome. Welcome to how did this Get Made? We have a very fun show for you today. The movie is Wild, Wild West. I am joined by my two co hosts, Jason Manzoukas.
Kevin Smith
How are you?
Paul Scheer
Pretty good. How are you?
Jason Mantzoukas
Paul and June. Diane Rafan. How are you?
June Diane Raphael
Hi, Paul.
Jason Mantzoukas
Both back in the studio and today, a very special guest writer, director, podcaster, Kevin Smith. Welcome.
Kevin Smith
This is just a proactive way to make sure none of my flicks ever get discussed on this fucking show. The moment I saw this podcast pop up, I said, I gotta get on that show fast. Otherwise is going to be like episode 16, Jersey Girl. How the fuck did this happen? So now you'll have to think twice,
Paul Scheer
by the way, before that happens. We'll do Jersey Girl if you're the gay.
Jason Mantzoukas
Totally.
Kevin Smith
Oh, because I could tell you what happened there.
Paul Scheer
Oh, perfect. That's a. That's a great version of this show.
Kevin Smith
This one I. I don't have as much insight into how it happened, but I do play. I. To say a role would be putting it to grand.
Paul Scheer
You play Will Smith's role in this movie?
Kevin Smith
I play what nobody ever realized is
Jason Mantzoukas
how black really does it. Really?
Kevin Smith
And no. And nobody gave me credit, you know, because they're so mad about Mallrat.
Jason Mantzoukas
No.
Kevin Smith
This is a movie that I have such tangential connection to.
Jason Mantzoukas
But when I heard about this, it made me laugh so hard. I mean, so the big. The big thing in this movie is the end piece is a gigantic 80 foot mechanical spider.
Paul Scheer
Totally normal.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, totally normal.
Kevin Smith
Which to be fair, before, before we skewer to flick. When you saw this trailer, you were like, holy shit. They may have cracked the code.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
Like this may be the best movie of all time. They found a way to combine the old west and fucking steamp and all this stuff.
Jason Mantzoukas
And the track record's great. You got Men in Black. He's been. Will Smith has been like Independence Day. Like, all right. These guys.
Kevin Smith
Barry fucking Sonnenfeld, man. Like a legendary director. Hell of a shooter. Like he knows how to work. Humorously.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yes.
Kevin Smith
Big budget.
Jason Mantzoukas
And also like a good movie to be transferred. Translated. Or a good TV show to be translated into a movie.
Kevin Smith
Have you ever seen. Has anybody ever watched the TV show?
Paul Scheer
Oh, I haven't.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, the TV show's great. It's like James Bond in the old West. I mean.
Kevin Smith
And who was the star?
Jason Mantzoukas
Robert Conrad.
Kevin Smith
Conrad who? The dude who was like put a battery on my fucking shoulder?
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, knock that off.
June Diane Raphael
Is the TV show a two hander like the movie?
Jason Mantzoukas
Exactly.
Kevin Smith
And basically, Robert, don't be dropping the industry lingo and whatnot. You lost me. We lost half the audience going two handers. This a porn.
Paul Scheer
Is this the first episode of a
Kevin Smith
meet cute explain two hander for those.
June Diane Raphael
They just hold hands the entire time.
Kevin Smith
It's an equal.
Jason Mantzoukas
It's an equal balance.
Kevin Smith
I didn't know it was gonna be one of these shows.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh yeah.
Kevin Smith
This is like a Nicky Fink. Yeah. Industry. It's sickening. Well,
Jason Mantzoukas
it was supposed to be. At one point Mel Gibson and George Clooney was the original incarnation of the Wild Wild West. But then Richard Donner was gonna direct it. He went off and did Maverick and then.
Kevin Smith
And he took Mel Gibson with him.
Jason Mantzoukas
Exactly. Made like. I think I remember liking Maverick. I haven't watched it recently, but I
Paul Scheer
remember not liking Maverick.
Kevin Smith
Maverick. All I remember is Jodie Foster's chemistry with him, and more so than the movie itself. And this is, I guess, when, like, publicity and hype machines started actually going to work in a big, bad way. Cause there was an era, kids before the age of podcasts and the Internet, where you didn't know that much about movies unless you went fucking digging for it in a zine or a convention.
Jason Mantzoukas
I remember being on AOL online and downloading, like, movie posters for, like, Beverly Hills Cop 3. And it was like, slowly just going down.
Paul Scheer
Oh, my God.
Kevin Smith
It was almost like masturbating to porn.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
Just like watching line by line. What does it look like? You ever met a roller coaster in the background? Axl Banana and its tailpipe? This will be amazing. But they. But there was a period where you didn't know that much that you weren't inundated. It wasn't like, you know, now during the production of a movie, you hear about it all throughout images.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
You're seeing left and right. This was when they started, like, putting stars out there big time and doing, like. And. And again, a pre. It's not like this is where it was born, but this is where I felt it, like, kick in, where publicity became an art form all to itself. In an industry almost as powerful as the financiers in this business and the marketers, publicity is just as powerful. Jodie Foster went out and told this story a zillion fucking times about what a prankster.
Paul Scheer
Oh, yeah.
Kevin Smith
Mel Gibson was on Maverick. Yes. Yeah, always. Anytime you heard about Maverick, it wasn't about, like, oh, it's the old show, or fucking James Garner makes appearance. None of that. It was, Mel Gibson is such a practical joker. And Jodie Foster is going to tell you how. And she's like, three very tame examples, but also kind of cute. We were like, oh, who knew he had a sense of humor?
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
That's all I remember of Maverick. Cut to years later when they're like, Mel Gibson hates Jewish people.
Paul Scheer
All I can gaze.
Kevin Smith
And gays as well. All I can think about is like, so what were those practical jokes? Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas
There was a lot that did not make the story, the publicity story.
Paul Scheer
Inexplicably, Jodie Foster is Mel Gibson's greatest apologist.
Kevin Smith
She's a staunch defender, but she's becoming the person that comes out in defense of anybody that goes off the path.
June Diane Raphael
And Kristen's.
Kevin Smith
She just did it with Casey, who was the. She comes out going, leave her alone. She just likes fucking dick. I shouldn't Say that, by the way,
Paul Scheer
how great would it be if Jodie fell? Aster was like, leave her alone.
Kevin Smith
She likes fucking dick, of all people. She's like, I don't.
Paul Scheer
I don't. To each his own or her own, I guess.
Kevin Smith
Or bone, if you will.
Jason Mantzoukas
You know, it's like. But you're right. Like, this is like the era of. It was 1999. Like, where it was like, where Godzilla had, like, all summer long was like, it's coming. It's bigger than this, Mother.
Kevin Smith
Yes. They had. They have a billboard in New York on the side of a building. It would be like, it's. He's bigger than this. Yeah. Holy shit.
Paul Scheer
But this movie, it was terrible.
Jason Mantzoukas
It's so bad.
Kevin Smith
What they forgot was to put up an ad that was like, it's as interesting. About an inch between two.
Paul Scheer
It's giant, but scratch and sniff, sticker of a fart.
Kevin Smith
The problem with that movie is, like, you take Godzilla, which is a design everybody fucking knows fundamentally, and change. It would be like if they, you know, they did that Smurfs movie, and whether you saw it or not, you looked at the poster, you're like, that looks.
Paul Scheer
We did it for this show.
Jason Mantzoukas
Did you do it?
Paul Scheer
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
They look like Smurfs.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, they do look like Smurfs.
June Diane Raphael
Those are Smurfs.
Kevin Smith
Godzilla doesn't look like Godzilla.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. You can't change what the character is. You have to keep in there.
Kevin Smith
Insist to people that it's the same thing.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. This movie so bad that Robert Conrad was asked to cameo in the Wild Wild west because he was the star of the TV show, and he said no and then accepted all the Razzie Awards for the Wild Wild west because he hated him so much. And then Will Smith eventually apologized to Robert Conrad for wrecking the Jim Smith character. Oh, wow. So, yeah.
Paul Scheer
So they.
Kevin Smith
Do you think that's even owed.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't think he needs to go and apologize to Robert Conrad.
Kevin Smith
Did Robert Conrad create that show?
Paul Scheer
No.
Kevin Smith
Yeah, he played the character the first time, right?
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. Yeah. I think.
Kevin Smith
I'm saying.
Jason Mantzoukas
I think.
Sponsor/Ad Reader
I think.
Kevin Smith
I'm not saying. I don't want to pick a fight because he's even at. He must be 70. He must be a tough guy.
Paul Scheer
And he'll come in and put the
Kevin Smith
fucking battery on my shoulder. Knock it off, you bitch. That was the commercial of my youth. He was the scary guy who was like, knock a Duracell off my. Yeah, that would.
Paul Scheer
Oh, totally.
Kevin Smith
And for some reason, that would prove that it was a better battery than most yeah, it's like, if you could get in my. Then this is a good battery. You're like, what's the logic?
Jason Mantzoukas
I buy. I'm gonna buy that battery. You're gonna do that better.
Paul Scheer
This is before they decided to market things based on how good they were. This is just like. Like associating them with tough guys.
Kevin Smith
Well, then they had the rabbit, and all of a sudden they had the bunny. And people like, fuck you and your fucking shoulder.
Jason Mantzoukas
What was it?
Kevin Smith
What was this rabbit will sell batteries. Way more batteries.
Jason Mantzoukas
What about that guy? Wasn't there that Australian guy who sold batteries too?
Paul Scheer
Oh, big bald guy.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, that was Jacko. Jacko.
Kevin Smith
Elijah.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. Oy, that guy again, nothing to do with batteries. Just really anti.
Kevin Smith
Anti Semitic. Yeah, he was like, oi, oy, oy. No, he was Australian.
Paul Scheer
That was their thing. It was their oy. Not the Jewish Oi. Although he might be Jewish.
Jason Mantzoukas
We don't know. We don't know.
Paul Scheer
We don't know.
Kevin Smith
We need to find out the language of Oi like, that it goes to all cultures.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, I mean, Gwen Stefani had that Oi to the world. She did have on. That's on like the best Christmas album.
Paul Scheer
I feel like that's the oy of punk rock. British, like the same oi, you know, that would be from that era, from that.
Jason Mantzoukas
But maybe that's what Jaka's oi was.
Paul Scheer
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure it was.
Kevin Smith
That Oi still lives, man. I was at a. We had an event once, a Vulgarthon, and there were. There's a lineup before people get in. And there were these three dudes who were like their own homegrown punk band. And, you know, I'm walking down the line going, hey, welcome, everybody.
Jason Mantzoukas
Welcome.
Kevin Smith
They stop me like, dude, you gotta hear this. Cause we wrote this with you in mind. Ready? They fucking pull out a guitar, sing Oi for Captain America. And they did five minutes of punk about singing away for Captain America and how awesome he was. And mind you, this is like 1990. These guys were ahead of the curve.
Paul Scheer
I like it.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
These guys got it late and a little early.
Jason Mantzoukas
So, yes, this movie was. Everyone, I think, expected this movie to be great. The track record was lining up perfectly. And it's an example of one of those movies that has all the right elements in place, but it's just. It's a mishmash of nothing. Six writers on this movie, two story by credits. Like two separate people wrote the story and then six different writers are credited. That's a hard thing. To even get done in the WGA to get that many writers out.
Kevin Smith
Let's look at how many cooks may have been involved in this scene. Yeah. If you're coming off of Men in Black, you've got, of course, Will Smith. He's at his apex at this point. And Barry Sonnenfeld, the director is also at probably his most powerful. Who else is in the movie? Kevin Klein doesn't have that much juice. And by all reports has always been a guy who's like, I'm an actor. I'm here to do the work.
Jason Mantzoukas
And actually really good in this movie too.
Paul Scheer
Oh yeah, Kenneth Branagh.
Kevin Smith
Kenneth Branagh. He doesn't have enough juice to really mess with.
Paul Scheer
But this is a weird move for him at that time.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Paul Scheer
I feel like.
Kevin Smith
I'm sure he was just like, this will make me hip.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, yeah. It's like he went.
Kevin Smith
He was great, Ken, working on it. The moment I knew we were doing this, I brushed up on Brenna. Wait till you hear my Kevin Klein.
Paul Scheer
Listen, Kenneth Branagh is not in the studio. That was Kevin Smith.
Jason Mantzoukas
But that. But this is like, you know, this is like that Jeff Goldblum doing Independence Day. And Jurassic park is like, oh, this is my big ticket. Like I'm a.
Kevin Smith
Normally I'm an act and now I'm gonna be this actor.
Jason Mantzoukas
Exactly. I'll just jump into this movie and. Yeah, so. But you imagine all the Warner Brothers people. It's like a big. It's the most expensive movie made in 1999, this movie. So, you know, so that also says that there's a lot of people.
Kevin Smith
Salma Hayek. No juice whatsoever.
Jason Mantzoukas
No juice at that point.
Kevin Smith
So really the responsibility, if you're gonna look Play to blame Game probably falls squarely on the shoulders of Emmett Walsh. And Emmett Walsh, good point, man. The guy, everything is shit.
Paul Scheer
Yeah. The minute I see Emmett Walsh, this
Jason Mantzoukas
guy came in with a.
Kevin Smith
It is all about bushel raising Arizona. Could have been amazing for the first five minutes.
Paul Scheer
Mmet Walsh, Blood Simple. Oh, come on. M Emmet Walsh.
Jason Mantzoukas
Come on.
Paul Scheer
Shot by Barry Sonnenfeld.
Kevin Smith
Actually well connected.
Jason Mantzoukas
I would also argue too that there is one flaw in this movie.
Paul Scheer
One?
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, yeah, there's many. Like when they rewrote it for a black actor to play this role, it is a little odd to be like he's an undercover agent right after the Civil war. He would stick out like a sore thumb wherever he would go.
Kevin Smith
Everywhere.
June Diane Raphael
Yes. And the rewrites in this movie are so evident, like they don't have anything to do with the plot at all. Like making him, you know, that character played by a black actor. It's just sort of integrated into the lines here and there.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, not here and there. Every time he comes.
June Diane Raphael
Also every time he enters a scene.
Kevin Smith
Yeah, like, it smells like they had a test screening and everyone responded. And they're like, just more of less of that. Having been through the fucking process. Yeah, that's what happens, man. I mean, we talked about Jersey Girl before, but Jersey Girl is the movie I test screen the most. Was forced to 12 separate times. And when you start making cuts based on an audience reaction that you're never going to meet again, it's a slippery slope. I've always said, look, you bring me a crowd and if they all say shit, I'll cut to their notes. But then give me that same exact crowd to then show them the second pass. Because otherwise it makes no sense. But what they do is you meet one audience, they go, this sucks. This blows. And the studio goes, you heard him, Fix it. So you go in and change it. And they're like, let's test it again. Then you test with a completely different audience. And you're not answering the old notes anymore. You're answering. They're all brand new notes.
Paul Scheer
Oh, it's a mess.
Kevin Smith
It's a terrible mess. So you go through. And you know, it's not as bad as like, home invasion. That's a terrible mess. Things like that.
Paul Scheer
But like the idea of a real home invasion, but at least the home invasion is not.
Kevin Smith
That's hard, disheartening.
Jason Mantzoukas
A home invasion. Never noted, though. You get the. You go in, you do your stuff.
Kevin Smith
Like you could have done that better, but. But in that process, when you look at this flick, you have the same feeling. Like they sat there and screened it. The first screening. They were like, this is gonna be money jacked up. Here we go. And they got a bunch of fucking revelatory notes like, shit, take everything out. That blows. And everything that got a remote chuckle. Let's just throw money into more.
Jason Mantzoukas
You're exactly right. Because I did some research and this movie tested so badly that it became a news story in the time where this wasn't a big deal.
Kevin Smith
Right?
Jason Mantzoukas
And Barry Sonnenfeld and Will Smith had to come out in front of that bad test screening and be like. And Barry Sonnenfeld's thing was people thought they were seeing the Matrix. That's why they didn't know they were seeing a comedy movie. I read the whole article today.
Kevin Smith
I've thought of so many excuses for why? My films underperform. But never have I thought to say somebody thought this was something completely different. People set in the future, not the old West.
Paul Scheer
Nothing more than for every time you test screen a movie now, you come out in front of it and say people thought they were seeing the Matrix.
Kevin Smith
I am so.
Paul Scheer
Always the Matrix, though.
Jason Mantzoukas
Always the Matrix. They thought it was going to be in 3D and IMAX, but just to give you a sense of how the dialogue kind of plays, here we go.
Paul Scheer
How nice of you to join us tonight and add color to these monochromatic proceedings.
Kevin Smith
Boom. 1. Well, when a fella comes back from
Paul Scheer
the dead, I find that an occasion to stand up.
Kevin Smith
Ding.
Jason Mantzoukas
I can see where it'd be difficult
Kevin Smith
for a man of your stature to
Jason Mantzoukas
keep in touch with even half the people you know.
Paul Scheer
Zing.
Kevin Smith
Perhaps the lovely Miss east will keep you from being a slave to your disappointment. Zing.
Jason Mantzoukas
That is this one little scene.
Kevin Smith
And that.
Paul Scheer
That. That dynamic. Yeah, that dynamic between them happens throughout the mo.
Jason Mantzoukas
And by the way, there is a. That's the first time that Will Smith and Kenneth Branagh meet in this movie. And there's also, like a little funny scene here, too, because, you know, Will Smith is trying to steal some documents, and you find out that Kenneth Branagh's office is full of paintings that are just like his security guard standing in
Paul Scheer
the painting, exposed as parts of paintings.
Jason Mantzoukas
Living paintings. Living paintings.
June Diane Raphael
That's right.
Kevin Smith
That's how rich he is.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. And they don't kill him. Him. When he's in there by himself only.
Kevin Smith
Yeah.
Paul Scheer
They wait for him to, like, scan the paper, learn the information. They wait for a very long time to get him, and then they don't get him. Yeah, he manages to somehow shoot them all.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, he shoots. He realizes that every painting is in there, is. It's a really waste.
June Diane Raphael
Even the one on the ceiling.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Paul Scheer
Oh, my God.
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Kevin Smith
It's great.
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Jason Mantzoukas
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Jason Mantzoukas
But so. Yes. So there's so much to talk about.
Paul Scheer
Oh, wait, we still haven't heard Kevin's story.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. So, yeah. So obviously the producer of this movie,
Kevin Smith
one of the producers of this movie was John Peters, who goes back in this town in this business for.
Paul Scheer
This is Streisand's John Peters, right?
Kevin Smith
Yes, Streisand's John Peters hairdresser. Back in the day, he was a hairdresser. That's how he gained entree into this business. He was Barbra Streisand's hairdresser who then became.
June Diane Raphael
That's an unusual trajectory.
Kevin Smith
Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas
Isn't it weird?
Kevin Smith
Especially because when you think of her hair, you go. Especially then circa 70s, like, oh, it's that rat's nest.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
Like, it's literally just a frog. So he was her hairdresser and then he became her lover.
Sponsor/Ad Reader
Oh, really?
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, I didn't know that.
Paul Scheer
I like that you brought it down there.
Kevin Smith
And then she started bringing him onto
Jason Mantzoukas
flicks as he, like, produced the Star is Born. He executive producer on Caddyshack.
Kevin Smith
Main event he put her into. That was the boxing movie with Ryan o'. Neill.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, I mean, he has great movies. I mean, you know, American Werewolf in London, Flashdance, D.C. cab, Youngblood. Caddyshack too.
Kevin Smith
No, the Shaq is Back.
Jason Mantzoukas
Batman, Tango and Cash. Batman Returns.
Kevin Smith
And this is what I know. He's definitely responsible for the main event. Cause he can talk about that to no one end. And Batman, he was heavily involved with Batman.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, really? Okay.
Kevin Smith
I spent a lot of time with him because I was working. I got a job in 1996 working on Superman Returns. It was called. Oh, now, was it?
Jason Mantzoukas
No, that wasn't. You weren't gonna put Tim Burton in the suit. That was.
Kevin Smith
But I suggested like, again, my. My opinion didn't mean at that point, like Chasing Amy, I think had yet to even come out. I was coming off Mall Rats. But when I handed in my script, I was like, you guys should get Tim Burton, man. He did a great job with Batman, even though his sensibility is different than, you know, Batman, Superman. The char. Like, that dude knows that because there were nobody else that you can point to to be like, there's a comic book guy. But at the point that I was involved with it, nobody was attached yet. Tim Burton would come later. Nick Cage would come later on as well. But when I was working on it, the, the. I had to go meet with Peters in order to go through the approval process because when he. He used to run Warner Brothers with Peter Goober. And then. I'm sorry, they were. Let me backtrack. They were at Warner Brothers during. Basically, Batman movie went huge. Over on the other side of town, the Japanese buy Sony, okay? And then they say, we need someone to run this studio. Let's just turn to the premier producers who made the most successful movie of this year. And they brought Peter Guber. They bought them out of their Warner Brothers contracts, brought them to Sony and had them run the studio. If you're interested in this kind of shit, there's an amazing book called Hit and Run, which is all about Goober Peace taking over Sony and running it into the ground. And the Japanese fleeing Hollywood in a big bad way because they're like, this is a fool's errand. It's just a hole to put money into. So those dudes wound up with golden parachutes dropping out of Sony. And when it was in its worst financial conditions in years and they landed separately, John Peters landed with an overall deal at Warner Brothers. One of the two projects he requested when he came in the door was the Muhammad Ali Strike story and Superman. And he won. And I can't say this is why, but I've been to his office, and if you recall, back in the 70s, there was an issue of Superman where he fought Muhammad Ali.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, no.
Kevin Smith
And he had a giant blow up in his office framed of those two characters fighting him. And I often suspect he was just like, what will my next two movies be? And he goes, here it is. So he was the guy. And so I had to go meet with him. And when they sent me to meet with him, I was warned, like, he's a bit eccentric and, you know, he's gonna tell some things that he wants in the movie that we don't. But go meet with him. Blah, blah, blah. You gotta get. He's the guy. If he likes you, you're on the job, we like you here at the studio. He's gotta like you. So you go to meet him. And he literally lives in an estate, like here in Hollywood is over in Beverly Hills that is reminiscent of going up to Batman's house, to Bruce Wayne's house. Like, very large property. And this is 96 at this point. So I'm not. I haven't been around big, affluent properties.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
At this. This early in my career, this is the biggest one I'd seen. You get in and there's a fucking butler and maid and somebody parks your car and there's, like, stables and shit.
Jason Mantzoukas
Like, wow.
Kevin Smith
Grounds. It was crazy.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
So they bring me into a living room and he comes in. He's got his, like, tennis shorts on and he's tan and shit. And he's very affable, but very like, I know who I am. I run Hollywood kind of guy.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
He sits me down, he goes. So they tell me that you like Superman. Like, let me hear it. Let me tell. I didn't see the movie. And this is all coming off of Mall Rats because I. In Mall Rats, I made a joke about Superman. They were like, you know a lot about Superman. I swear, that was it. I met with an exec named Basil Iwanick who's gone on to do cool things. He works with Ben on, like, on his last movie on the Town or something. But when I met with him, he's a junior exec, and they had a few projects. They were like, we've got this one called. It was. It was. Remember the end of the Watch? Of the Watchmen. It was based on an episode of the Outer Limits. I think it was called Architecture.
Jason Mantzoukas
They had that.
Kevin Smith
It was an episode of Outer Limits that they wanted to do as a feature. And they gave me a script which I. To this day, I can't remember who wrote it. But they gave me the script to read. They're like, this is just weird. Like, see if you could do anything with this. And I read it as, hands down, one of the best scripts I've ever read in my life. And I hand it back. I was like, this is flawless. You should make this and they're like, it's an art film. And it kind of was. It was definitely more of, like a Chris Nolan type of action flick than anything else, and which in those days would have been a tough fucking sell. So I like that. I was like, I got another them for this. I think you should just make this. And they're like, we're not going to. And they. And they offered me two other things. One was Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, which I was like, I love Beetlejuice. But I was like, I think we said everything we need to say. I love.
Jason Mantzoukas
Just go.
Kevin Smith
Literally, that was what they wanted.
Paul Scheer
Did they have a script for that?
Kevin Smith
They had one that looked like this. There was a draft, and they wanted me to go in. I was like, I ain't going to be that guy. I also came in with, like, I liked working. I was happy to be in a business, but I also didn't want to be the guy that was. Was, like the person I would have made fun of if I hadn't had Clerks picked up. Like, who the fuck does a Beetlejuice sequel without Tim Burton? You know that guy? So I said no to that. And he said, there's one more that's a real long shot, but we're trying to redevelop Superman. I was like, oh, Superman. I know comics. And. And he's like, yeah. And I was like, yeah, man. I talked about. I'm in. In Mall Rats, like the Brody character, big fan of comic books. And he goes, that's why you're here. I said, why? He goes, because someone saw Mall Rats and said. Said, like, you talk about Superman and a kryptonite condom. And I was like, yeah. And he goes, well, they figured you had an original take on Superman. And I was like, that's not even original take, man. That's based on an essay called man of Steel, Woman of Tissue, or something like that from back in the day.
Jason Mantzoukas
They're like, well, you want to read that essay, by the way? I didn't know that.
Kevin Smith
It wasn't even based on that. Years later, somebody was like, did you ever read man of Steel, Women of Tissue, Women of Tissue. I said, no. They said, in it, they talk about how Superman and Lois couldn't have sex because. Because his sperm would, like, kill her fallopian tube. Mine was based on an issue of a comic book, a Superman annual that must have been taken from that.
Jason Mantzoukas
Sure.
Kevin Smith
In the story on the COVID I can't remember what issue it is, but Superman is making out with Maxima on the Grave of Lois Lane. And in it, in the story, one of these Elseworld stories, he has sex with Lois Lane and kills her because the. He, He, His. His sperm didn't do it. She got pregnant, the baby kicked and killed her.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, man.
Kevin Smith
So I always remember reading that issue and being like, that's fucked up. So when I was writing Mall Rats, I included the joke about like, kryptonite con and blast through like a shotgun. And because of that, they were like, you know, something about Superman.
Paul Scheer
So I sat down and there's something, you know is sexy. Yeah, we like, we want some of that X rated Superman condom in this movie.
Kevin Smith
Dude turns his lights down. He's just like, just tell me that story again.
Paul Scheer
Yeah. And I'll show you naked pictures of Streisand.
Kevin Smith
I was like, can I go, man? It's really unnerving for me. I just want to work on Superman. But he, he, he goes, he listens to me. I. I don't have a pitch. I'm. They want it. They have a story they want to do, which is the death of Superman. There had already been a script before me written by Wesley Strick, which they didn't like. And I read it, and the thing that stuck out to me was that there was a moment where Superman goes into a therapist's office to be like, I'm Superman.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
And that would never happen. That felt. But that felt like a Hollywood beat. That's almost, to me akin to Batman in the Dark Knight. Rise. Everyone see that?
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
Okay. But spoilers if you haven't. Yeah, there you go. They're on the roof and Catwoman's with them.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, yeah.
Kevin Smith
And then she leaves. And then he turns around and goes, so that's what that feels like. That would never happen in a million years. He would never do that. Why would he a. Why would he use that voice out loud if he was alone?
Jason Mantzoukas
That's the thing I thought of too. Why is he talking to himself like that?
Kevin Smith
Dude, there's nobody here. He's like, yeah, you're right. All right.
Paul Scheer
Yeah, but he was like, no. Like, he has a third voice.
Kevin Smith
That would be memorable, man. When people were like, holy crap.
Paul Scheer
Or if he's like, oh, fuck, you really did it again.
Jason Mantzoukas
He is a Daniel Day Lewis superhero. He gets into the character. Once he gets into that comic costume, that's it.
Paul Scheer
Once the cowl is on,
Kevin Smith
the all sense goes away as it cuts off the brain part and he decides to go with the voice. So he. So I'm sitting there telling Peters, okay, I guess if you're gonna do this, you do this. I wouldn't do this kind of stuff. I wouldn't, you know, be winking and knowing and in terms of like saying Superman's going to psychiatrist. So I'm all done with whatever my pitch is. And again, it's not really my pitch. It's based on the storyline they want to do, which is the death sentence. Superman. So he looks at me, he's sitting on his couch, big living room. He looks at me for a long heartbeat, man. And he goes, you and me are going to get Superman, right? You know why? And at first I felt good because I was like, it sounds like I got a job, man. I said why? And he goes, cuz you and me, we understand Superman. Do you know why? I said no. He goes, cuz you and me are from the streets now.
Paul Scheer
And he is from the streets originally.
Kevin Smith
I don't know where he's from, but I am not from.
Jason Mantzoukas
Came up on those streets. Hard hairdressing, hard knocks the streets that
Kevin Smith
led to Barbra Streisand. Very hard streets. And I didn't want to say like I grew up in the suburbs.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, it's true.
Kevin Smith
This dude was a hairdresser. Neither of us know the streets. And he was litter and also remove that. What does fucking Superman have to do with the streets?
Jason Mantzoukas
Not the least street smart character really. He's just an alien who's. Yeah.
Kevin Smith
So he, he, he was a guy, I guess he'd come from not so much money because he talked about, about like, you know, I used to go to wherever city he lived in. They had a department store. He's like. And I used to go and just look at the window displays of the things they put. One of those people with nothing looks at the image of something one day.
Paul Scheer
A very movie moment. His life is a movie moment.
Jason Mantzoukas
He.
Kevin Smith
And he only brought this up because when I came in, there was a setup in the middle of his living room that I swear to God looked like the floor of Nordstrom's. There was a piano and there was like what looked like a display with sweaters and shirts on it.
Jason Mantzoukas
No sweaters and shirts.
Kevin Smith
I keep kidding. And I thought so. I was like. When we were in the middle of the place, I was like, well, maybe they were doing some kind of benefit here or something like that. But he was explaining to me that he always dreamed about having what? The splatter.
June Diane Raphael
This is really crazy though, because on Oprah Barbra Streisand was interviewed and in one of her homes her entire basement is set up like a store. Like a department store.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. It's crazy.
Paul Scheer
No money.
Kevin Smith
Is she one of these, like, I came from nothing?
Paul Scheer
No, she came from nothing. That is. I do know she came from nothing and had like a horrible mother.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, but it's a funny image to come from nothing. Instead of just buying a lot, you create a store. That's very funny.
Paul Scheer
It's like, I gotta get dressed today. I'm just gonna go downstairs and buy an outfit.
Jason Mantzoukas
Cause I can.
June Diane Raphael
That I already own.
Kevin Smith
You could literally make the argument like she can't go to the store anymore. And maybe she misses the experience of like walking onto the floor. So she's created her own version in a Truman show like way. But it really comes down to like. I think it comes down to. We always see saw this as being a sign of wealth. And so once we had so much crazy wealth where we had a house and many cars and everything's taken care of and we're just looking for shit to buy. We start buying our childhood back or images of what we think we wanted.
Jason Mantzoukas
I want to buy that Nordstrom's.
Kevin Smith
And he did.
Paul Scheer
Oh my God. That would be the equivalent for me, I feel like would be if I became incredibly wealthy and you came to my house and there was an arcade there.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh yeah.
Paul Scheer
You know what I mean? Like that to me would be the
Jason Mantzoukas
like that is what stand up games my head around.
Kevin Smith
Oh yeah, like that.
Paul Scheer
But that to me was like, oh God.
June Diane Raphael
My.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh my God.
Paul Scheer
Can you imagine if you had dragon
Jason Mantzoukas
flare in my house?
Paul Scheer
Always had access to joust.
Kevin Smith
Yeah, but that's okay. But you got a bunch of arcade games in your house. That's almost like, hey, everyone take a turn. This ain't like no, no, no. This is like a private. What kind of discount?
Jason Mantzoukas
What kind of sweaters do you have? Cable. Ooh, I want these sweaters.
Paul Scheer
The best thing would be if he's out there and he's like, ah, none of these are my size.
Jason Mantzoukas
That's how he keeps himself grounded. He keeps on like he just never is in his size.
Paul Scheer
I love this sweater. But it's sold out in my.
Kevin Smith
He's the dude that's just like. As his wealth decreases, the displays decrease. So it goes from Nordstrom to like right now in his career. He's got a Ross set up.
Jason Mantzoukas
Pay less in the garage. He.
Kevin Smith
He was a very strange man.
Jason Mantzoukas
So you're from the streets?
Kevin Smith
Yes, he's from the streets. I'm from the streets. He. He's the one essentially Says, we're going to do this. And. And he. In the process of. Of the movie, he has had, like, notes that he wanted to do, which were very important. Number one, he goes, I don't want to see him in that suit. Number two, I don't want to see him flying. I think that looks fake in movies. So right away you're like, if he's not in the suit and he's not flying, what do you got?
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, what do you have?
Kevin Smith
Do you want to just make Batman again? I'm into that, yeah. And then his third thing was like. And he has to fight a giant spider in the third act. Swear to you. And I was like, really? He goes, yeah, yeah. He's gone, man. Do you know anything about something Spiders? I said, no. He goes, I watch a lot of Discovery Channel. He's gone. I watch this documentary about spiders, fiercest predators in the insect kingdom. Absolute killers. He's going, and when I was a kid, I went and saw King Kong. And in King Kong, there's a moment where the doors open up and they reveal not King Kong for the first time, but some other monster or something like that. He's like. And it was horrifying. And I envision a moment in this movie where the doors open up and Spider man has to. Spider. Superman has to fight this giant spider
Jason Mantzoukas
and a real spider.
Kevin Smith
Giant, real spider. So I'm like, okay, if that's the directive that wasn't in the death of. And I've never seen that in the comics, but so be it. So I went back to the studio because they're like, report, you know what. What's going on over there. Because they're already. They're like, he's a nut bar. So. So I was like, well, he said this, this. And they go, oh, as if they've heard it before.
Jason Mantzoukas
Right, right.
Kevin Smith
And then I say, and then also he talked about. And they go, wait, he wants to put a giant spider? I said, yes. How weird is that? He said he watched a scarecrow discover. He's going, john and that spider. That was Lorenzo's Bon Mature. He goes, john and that spider.
June Diane Raphael
I was like, he's sounding eerily familiar.
Kevin Smith
He's. He's. The dude was so into this spider thing, he tried to shoehorn it into the flick. And I was like, what do I do? And they were like, just call it anything but a spider. And I said, really? And they're like, just give him what he wants, but do not call it a spider man. Research shows nobody cares about a spider And I was like, okay, what if I call a Thanagarian snake airbeast? They're like, perfect. So Thanagarin. I was like, right on. Connects to Hawkman. Yeah, like that. And I literally. And so Peters was like, what is this? And I was like, is Thanagarian snare beast? He goes, what is that? It's like giant spider and DC Comics. He goes, oh, perfect. So I put that in and. And he. And I worked on that for a little while when I submitted the script. You can hear the entire story of that over at the Evening with First Evening with Kevin Smith, which is great. I tell the long Superman story, but in the interest of moving on to what Wild Wild West, I eventually I. The project comes to an end for me. They bring on Tim Burton. And Tim Burton was like, I'm gonna start from scratch with my own script. He brought on somebody else. My shit goes to the wayside. And that was it. Never thought about it again. I mean, thought about like, man, I worked on Superman, but I got a great story out of it. And I was telling that story Q and A's for years. Then it went on the dvd. And that was like, to me, that was the end of it. Then in 1999, I guess it was, I went to the movies to go see Wild Wild west, also produced by John Peters. And I'm watching the flick and what it is, this bizarre little train wreck combination of many genres. But all of a sudden, this giant mechanical spider appears, man. And I was like, he got his spider. He finally got his spider. It took him a long time, but he got a much more expensive one.
Jason Mantzoukas
And it also doesn't really make sense. It feels like. And what was so great about that story is that it is so shoehorned in. It's like, okay, there's steampunk and there's stuff like. But now we got this 80 foot giant fucking spider.
Paul Scheer
As if the giant spider and the presumption in the movie, what the movie contends is that Kenneth Branagh's possession of this giant spider is enough to bring the United States to its knees.
June Diane Raphael
Yes, sir.
Kevin Smith
This one.
Paul Scheer
This one device itself will bring about the destruction of the Union.
Kevin Smith
This is the equivalent of a nuclear weapon in the age of the Civil War.
Paul Scheer
It might as well be. I bet that was their justification, his deterrence.
June Diane Raphael
There's nothing to this even metaphor of the spider. There's nothing that Kenneth Branagh says about what the spider means to him. There's no connection at all to this spider that just appears.
Kevin Smith
If he could, I Think Kenneth Branagh would have been like, ladies and gentlemen, I have nothing to do.
Paul Scheer
Hold on, guys. Kenneth Branagh just walked in the studio. Just walked in the studio. We have a special guest right now. Kenneth Branagh.
Kevin Smith
I regret cheating on Emma so much. It's truly affected my career all the way up to Thule.
Jason Mantzoukas
It is. I mean, this spider is just.
Paul Scheer
I mean.
Jason Mantzoukas
And yeah, I don't know, it's badass,
Kevin Smith
if that's the word you're looking for. It's total badass.
Paul Scheer
This movie might as well be called Gears and Pointless Contraptions because that is. Every shot is just the background is just moving parts.
Jason Mantzoukas
Moving parts. Just like if things are happening things.
Kevin Smith
A lot of money being spent in the background.
Jason Mantzoukas
A lot being given to the foreground. By the way, I almost think that, like, that Kenneth Branagh's character is Jon Peters because he's obsessed with spider. He clearly has a thing for spiders. Like, they send a cake, a marzipan cake to the president. Oh, don't touch that. And all these spiders come out. And he's like, oh. And then, you know, and then he has like special discs made up with a giant spider on it.
Paul Scheer
You have the blades, but yeah, there's nothing like his flag as a spider on it.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yes, he is jumpy.
Kevin Smith
You know what's weird about that, man? The plates that have the spider on it. Yeah, I understand the dude's rich. And I understand in movies to communicate impossible wealth, you see something like a
Jason Mantzoukas
giant spider, very richy rich style.
Kevin Smith
But could you imagine it's like, even down to something like, this disc is meant to be thrown away and destroyed. Like you're never gonna see it again. It launches. The whoever sees it is the person that loads the disc. And the next person that sees it, the person gets to take cover and that's that. Why would you bother to be like, imprint a spider on it?
Paul Scheer
Yep.
Jason Mantzoukas
Could you carve it in? If it's gonna cost us, it's gonna hundreds of dollars to do this Good.
Kevin Smith
Cost you like. I know, but they mean so much to me. And you're not even involved in this transaction. You're not even like, I'm holding this disc of death with my spider emblem.
Jason Mantzoukas
As a matter of fact, when he goes to kill them, he leaves.
Paul Scheer
He doesn't even watch the disc get loaded and lost.
Kevin Smith
That's how fucking rich he is, dude. He's just like, put spiders on everything and kill people when I'm not here, man.
Jason Mantzoukas
I do want to point out, you know, there's a Part in the movie where you know, Will Smith and Kenneth Braun or Will Smith and Kevin Kline are caught, they're gonna get their heads cut off by these spider discs. And I would say one of the most disturbing parts of the movie is when was when Kenneth Branagh talks about wanting to have sex with Salma Hayek with potentially his robot dick. In which I'll play for you right here.
Kevin Smith
Yeah, who knows, I might even become familiar with her myself. That'd be one more reason for me to kill you. Oh yes, Mr. West, I'm sure twere no doubt well endowed, black and all like yourself.
Jason Mantzoukas
It must seem absolutely impossible that a
Kevin Smith
freak like me could fully enjoy the pleasure of a woman. But having witnessed my use of mercurinology thus far, wouldn't you think that I could have buy something for the low health of my body that was hard pumping and indefatigably steely. And speaking of hard pumping, Mr. Coleman, full steam ahead.
Jason Mantzoukas
What just talks about building a giant robot dildo to.
June Diane Raphael
Do you think that was consummated by the time she was left? Cuz she stays with him on that train.
Paul Scheer
Well, she is pregnant, visibly pregnant with a robot baby. At the end of the movie.
Jason Mantzoukas
This movie.
Kevin Smith
Does he use a robot wiener on her?
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, they've got that jump.
Paul Scheer
I wish he did. And remember when she's trapped in the birdcage in his house, the bed has all of those sex contraptions and she's like I don't want to get on that. I don't want to do that. It is clearly just like robot cock sexathon in this movie that we never see. Although we do see. I think we see Will Smith's balls from behind at the very beginning.
June Diane Raphael
That's what I thought too. Scream.
Paul Scheer
We definitely saw his nuts from behind.
Jason Mantzoukas
Will Smith is naked in the beginning of the movie after bathing in a water tower.
Paul Scheer
He appears to live in a water tower. At the beginning of this movie they're
Jason Mantzoukas
hanging out in this giant water tower in the middle of town.
June Diane Raphael
It's like a hot tub in the sky.
Jason Mantzoukas
Which meanwhile is everyone else's drinking water, I would imagine.
Paul Scheer
No, no, it's for fires, isn't it?
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, is it for fires?
Paul Scheer
I think so.
Jason Mantzoukas
I thought it was drinking water. All right, that makes sense.
Kevin Smith
That would be dispense. Back off man. You're taking it into ridiculous realm.
Paul Scheer
We can put out our fires with cum drenched water, but not put it in our.
Jason Mantzoukas
But yes, Will Smith's balls may or may not have made an appearance.
Paul Scheer
Definitely.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well There's a lot of ass in this movie, too. Salma Hayek's ass. Bai Ling's ass.
Paul Scheer
Bai Ling is. I mean, like a real favorite of this show.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yes, Bai Ling. We are huge fans of Crank 2. We had the directors of Crank 2 in here, and we talked extensively about how amazing she is.
Kevin Smith
She's in that as well.
Jason Mantzoukas
She's in that and threw away all the dialogue. Oh, if you've not seen Crank two, do yourself a favor.
Kevin Smith
She threw away the dial.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, yeah. She threw away the dial and just
Paul Scheer
started saying crazy shit. And they were like, we do. And they were like, let's just let her do it. And so it's.
Jason Mantzoukas
You'll go crazy if you find. She's unleashed.
June Diane Raphael
She's unleashed.
Paul Scheer
It's unreal.
Kevin Smith
She's subtitled Southland Tales. I was in Southland Tales as well, which I imagine one day you guys will get around, and she was.
Paul Scheer
I feel like we're going to have you on for a bunch of shows. This is how we sneak you on with somebody else's movie and then we get you hooked.
Kevin Smith
It's just like today's movies. Jersey Girl, you guys suck. I guess it's my time today. We're doing.
Paul Scheer
We're doing Jersey Girl again today because
Kevin Smith
Kevin's still not over.
Jason Mantzoukas
But, yeah, there's a lot of. A lot of asses in this movie. Bai Ling, relatively restrained in this movie, but there's some crazy stuff in here. Again, the lynching scene. There's a scene where Will Smith is gonna get lynched, but before he gets lynched, they let him do, like, a couple minutes of stand up before he gets.
Kevin Smith
As you did in the Old West.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, let's give him a cup.
Kevin Smith
Let's speak his mind.
Paul Scheer
There is such a dichotomy in this movie between, like, absolutely no attention paid to race and maximum attention paid to race in the worst way.
June Diane Raphael
Well, that's the strange. It's like every about 15 minutes or so, the movie drops into some real historical, social context that's very dark and upsetting. And then we're lifted right at it. A second later, it's the creepy with,
Paul Scheer
like, some goofball invention from Kevin Klein.
Kevin Smith
That must have been the Pulp Fiction influence, where they're like, no, we can go dark and then zip it right back to funny.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, I can feel like the movie doesn't know. It feels like it's one of those movies where it's like we're funny and we're serious and it's too much. It's trying to please too many people.
Kevin Smith
We don't know what we are, but we know one thing. We're not the Matrix.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, there's also in the end, in the end battle where they're in this giant spider. There's also a robot, just a man, a Frankenstein man who is a robot that Will Smith tries to fight. He punches him in the face and you hear clang. Punches him in the stomach. Clang. Punches him in the nuts. Clang. And he's like, oh, got a robot. And this robot's about ready to kick Will Smith's ass until for no reason he short circuits.
Paul Scheer
Yep.
Jason Mantzoukas
To nothing of no one did anything to him.
Kevin Smith
Just, oh, I know what happened somewhere. There's about three minutes of robot fight footage that like when they test screened it eight times, was so leaden they were like, just pretend it's straight away.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
Like we're so close to the credits. You've got to break. Come on.
Paul Scheer
I felt like a lot of times there was huge pieces of exposition missing that I was like, how did he get here? The movie appears to take place in about 72 hours. They travel across the United States from
Jason Mantzoukas
D.C. to New Orleans to Utah. Yeah, Utah.
Paul Scheer
I mean the amount of space they travel and there is so much dramatic slow moving train action. Like the entire movie is. It's attentive to the action as if it's like the French Connection car chase. But it is slow moving, single track locomotives. There is nothing happening on these trains.
Jason Mantzoukas
There is a lot of time. Time has passed and now this character's on the train. Wait, how did she get on the train? What happened? They're like, they're like two days somehow
June Diane Raphael
drops in on that train. There's no explanation of how she got there.
Jason Mantzoukas
Right?
Kevin Smith
Yeah, I know how she got there. She was on the Dogma set. She got the part while we were making Dogma and then she left early to go do fittings and do pre shoot footage and stuff while she was shooting on the flick. So she'd come back and we'd be like, what's it like, man? Cause again, these cats are coming off Men in Black and Black. It's a pretty amazing movie. But she thought it was going to be very, very impressive, as we all did. She was, she came from our movie, went to that movie. And I remember going to see that movie and being like, I wish she'd stayed on our movie.
Jason Mantzoukas
Did you have to cut her out of stuff and Dogma because she couldn't?
Kevin Smith
No, but I got a lot of people going like, I Couldn't follow the accent. Now in the age of Bane, I don't feel so bad. I feel like he was speaking English.
Jason Mantzoukas
Expendables, too. In the first 10 minutes. Like, I don't understand what these guys are saying.
Paul Scheer
Really?
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, because it's like, everyone's like. It's like a lot of grumble. It's a lot of grumbling. In the first, I did like Expendables too, because I like movies like that, and it's dumb. And should we do it for the show? You know, it would be like, in the side of the good side, like the cranks and the punishment. Yeah, yeah. We love Fast5. Like, it was like, yes. This movie is insane.
Sponsor/Ad Reader
It be needs to.
Jason Mantzoukas
To be talked about. But we are loving it. And, yeah, I mean, it's great. Schwarzenegger, amazing. The only talks and references to every other person's movie, really. He says, I'll be back at least three times.
Paul Scheer
Oh, my God.
Jason Mantzoukas
And references. Rambo references. Like, it's. The whole movie is just referencing everything
Kevin Smith
that they've all been like, yippee ki yay.
Jason Mantzoukas
He does.
Kevin Smith
No, really.
Paul Scheer
By the way, listeners, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not in the.
Kevin Smith
Tell me. In that scene, they cut to Bruce and you just see a little bit more of his soul dying.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, you could tell what I felt like was this. I felt like they shot Bruce Willis out in, like, two days, and I felt two. I also felt that they were like, hey, Bruce, would you say yippee ki yay? Cause everyone's saying they're kind of Their catchphrases, you know, Van Damme does it. Schwarzenegger. Everyone does their catchphrase. What does their catchphrase, like, come? Like, are, you know, from Bloodsport? You know, like, you know, like a very.
Kevin Smith
That's my catchphrase as well. With Mamaladi. I'm like, it never works, but I try.
Jason Mantzoukas
But everyone's, like, kind of reliving a moment of their past, and they were like, brisk. Will you say yippee kiye in this moment? It kind of fit the moment. And he was like, no. And then they're like, okay, Schwarzenegger, will you say it instead?
Kevin Smith
And he's like, yeah, give me $1,000 and I'll say it.
Jason Mantzoukas
He's like, all right. Basically, Bruce Willis walks off the screen, and then Schwarzenegger goes, yippee ki yay.
Paul Scheer
That's amazing.
Jason Mantzoukas
It's crazy. It was like they were like, oh, yeah, we'll just keep the same setup.
Kevin Smith
Do that movie.
Paul Scheer
And maybe our guest will Be Kenneth Branagh to discuss it.
June Diane Raphael
She noticed Kenneth Branagh was doing so much wheelchair spinning in this movie.
Paul Scheer
Oh, my God.
Kevin Smith
Oh, yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, Kenneth Branagh, every time he's on screen, he's just spinning in a circle at all times. Oh, man, there's.
Kevin Smith
I'm just trying record, baby. Yeah, round, round, round.
Jason Mantzoukas
Also, June, you brought up a very good point here earlier when we were talking about this Will Smith constantly ripping on Kevin Clark Klein's inventions that work. So inventions work the entire time. He's like, oh, man, you and your crappy inventions. It's like you killed the guy with his invention. You got saved your life by his invention.
Paul Scheer
All the time.
Jason Mantzoukas
All the time.
Paul Scheer
It works.
June Diane Raphael
Let's try a new plan and maybe this time it'll work. It's worked every single time.
Paul Scheer
Every single time.
June Diane Raphael
Every single time.
Paul Scheer
The bulletproof vest, the flying machine, dressing in drag. How about the weird scene. How about the fucking scene where they are comparing fake tits?
June Diane Raphael
Oh, yes, I love that.
Jason Mantzoukas
And then how the two heroes spawn
June Diane Raphael
every second of that and they're just
Paul Scheer
like, you feel my boo, Feel my boo, Boo, boot, breast, whatever. He's saying. Oh, yeah. Oh, it feels. Oh, it feels terrible. It feels. Now try feeling. And then at. Walsh is watching the whole thing and he's going, I knew it. You know, like so weird.
June Diane Raphael
It's crazy because what did he know? Did he thinks that they're not. They're not men dressed as women, they're men feeling each other's actual male.
Paul Scheer
Yeah, yeah.
June Diane Raphael
Okay. All right.
Kevin Smith
Now you see why it's funny Now I get it.
June Diane Raphael
Now I'm laughing.
Kevin Smith
I think when you make a movie like this that's meant to be as mainstream as that. Like, if you're spend. There should be a studio mandate in the rule book that says if you're gonna spend upwards of. I would say 100, but let's bring it down to 75. You have to have a representative from every generation that you're actually trying to court in the theaters on set when you're doing comedy. So you need a 10 year old, 20 year old, 30 year old, 40 year old, 50 year old, 60 year old. If you're going, that's your demographic. And then you play that fucking. All right, the boys are gonna feel each other's boobs. And then you go down the line. 10 year olds. Is this good?
Jason Mantzoukas
Liked it.
Kevin Smith
Totally. 20 year olds is still funny.
Jason Mantzoukas
Pretty good.
Kevin Smith
30 year olds.
Paul Scheer
How are you feeling about that?
Sponsor/Ad Reader
Not bad.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
Yeah. I like working with an actor because Su, you're in a seat. 40 year olds, man.
Sponsor/Ad Reader
All right.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, you know, it's a little risque.
Kevin Smith
Suddenly it starts to fall apart.
Jason Mantzoukas
50 year olds, you know, go do without the. The boob stuff.
Kevin Smith
And 60 year olds, I like that.
Paul Scheer
Bring back that. Where's that spider?
Jason Mantzoukas
I liked it.
Kevin Smith
But they should, man. Cuz that's like, that's like I saw. Did you see the watch?
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kevin Smith
Okay. The watch has a moment in it where Vince Vaughn picks up a rushing nesting doll and opens it and he's like, oh my God, there's another doll in here. And that Vince Vaughn in his van on way fine. One reveal and I'll buy that this has never heard of the concept of something within something. They carry this out, dude, all the way to the smallest, to the.
Jason Mantzoukas
The.
Paul Scheer
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
And you know, like there's a theory of comedy where the more you do it, like it go, it's funny and then it's dumb. Then it goes back to me.
Paul Scheer
This is the Mr. Show Thimble sketch.
Kevin Smith
This ain't that. No, this is like the exception that proves that wrong. Because you're like, please don't keep.
Paul Scheer
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Kevin Smith
And you realize they left this in.
Paul Scheer
Oh yeah. They thought it was awesome.
Kevin Smith
But if that's awesome, what the fuck did they cut out? And if you think that's awesome, you need to have a representative of every age group going like, I think this is shit. Like if you, if you're sitting around doing the boob feeling joke and you got a 25 year old kid there, he'd be like, dude, this ain't fucking funny. Yeah, yeah, like have him stick his fist up his ass and you're like, ooh, that's good, let's do that instead.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, did you feel like, did you ever get notes? Like, I mean, like, I guess like the most studio, like the biggest studio thing, I guess, Mallrats. And then like cop out. Right. So like, did you get those kind of notes on cop out when you were doing it?
Kevin Smith
Not until we started testing. They were pretty good. Like in terms of working, I always thought, I was taught that the studio is a great Satan and fucking like all they do is make crap. We make art, they make crap. And the philosophy that we were taught was they set out to make crap. They just want your fucking money. And I haven't worked inside. Like nobody. There's no fucking. There's no Kenneth Branagh sitting in a spinning wheelchair fucking telling people we're gonna steal the audience's money with cr. They're all Trying to do something. Yeah. That they think is good or funny or irrelevant or at least, you know, fucking popular or something like that. So having gone through the system with them, they were lovely. Like, I kept waiting for the.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
Aha. These fucking bagels. You said there'd be everything, but there's just onion. I knew the studio a lot. They were lovely until.
Paul Scheer
But you check that bagel plate every day.
Kevin Smith
Every day. Flip all.
Paul Scheer
Wait, no, it's here. We're good. My bad, my bad.
Kevin Smith
So nobody touched it until I checked.
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June Diane Raphael
Will Smith's character was an escaped slave at the age of as a child
Paul Scheer
he was taken from his family live with Indiana.
June Diane Raphael
He ran away.
Jason Mantzoukas
No, because Wild wild west. He's a white guy.
Sponsor/Ad Reader
Yeah.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah.
Kevin Smith
So essentially they're doing the story of Django Unchained.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, exactly.
Paul Scheer
It is Django.
Kevin Smith
And then ironically, Will Smith didn't want
Paul Scheer
to do and because he'd already done it, Wild Wild West. He's like, I've done this movie, it's called the Wild Wild west. And I was very proud of it.
Jason Mantzoukas
Can't improve on it. I was watching this movie going, does
Kevin Smith
your movie have a giant spider? Quentin?
Paul Scheer
No.
Jason Mantzoukas
That's why he, that's why qu took so long. He that's the end of Django. Now the giant spider comes back, they come across waltzes in it.
Paul Scheer
They come across the Giant spider that had died in this movie. Right. And they come across it, they revive it, and the rest of the movie takes place in that.
Kevin Smith
What they do is they find all those plates with the spider emblem and they build a new spider from the reference.
Paul Scheer
I would love like a. Like a weird film joke if people just started putting props from this movie in other movies and Old west as if it was like. Like archaeologists discovered these place with spiders on them.
June Diane Raphael
Well, and. And all the ladies had spider dresses at the big scene.
Paul Scheer
Oh, yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, I. There.
Kevin Smith
Now you know why? It's because John Peters, the producer, and he wants. Kids love spiders.
Paul Scheer
Well, Peters also. Oh, not John Peters, but Will Smith also plays Muhammad Ali in a movie. There are a lot of John Peters. Really?
Jason Mantzoukas
Yes, Same guy.
Kevin Smith
His name's on it.
Paul Scheer
Oh, that's interesting.
Kevin Smith
What did he have to do with it? That depends. As I said before, I know he's involved with Batman. I know he's involved in main event because he can tell you lots of
Jason Mantzoukas
stories, but his name could be on
Kevin Smith
a lot of things he took credit for. I'm Batman. This is. This blew my mind. This is what. I've instantly fell in love with John Peters in a way of like you fall in love with, you know, wacky dictators who aren't going to affect your life anymore because you're going to never be in contact with him again. I was a big Batman fan, huge Batman fan of Tim Burton's 19 and Batman. So whenever he about talks, talked about it, I was heading my hands, listening, and he would say things like, you know, I was going out with Vicki Vale, right? And I was like, really? Did you have to joke over for dinner? Like you could say her name? Dude, I'm well aware that Kim Basinger played Vicki Vale, but he said this. He goes, I said, one of the things I love in that movie dude so tight is when the dude pops over the wall and starts fighting and Batman blocking his sword with his gauntlets. And he goes, that was mine. And I go, really? He's going, I brought that guy in. That guy's a real sword fighter. You know why that movie made $300 million? And I go, why? He goes, that scene. And I go, why? He goes, because that was real jeopardy. And that guy came over the wall with the swordsman. You got to see Batman in action. And so that's why that movie works. When you watch Tim Burton's Batman, realize it's nothing. It's not the story. It's not Anton First City design the Batmobile the moody performance by Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson's sublime joker. It literally comes down to the guy who jumps over the wall and throws a few bad swords.
Jason Mantzoukas
Not to rip on Bruce Willis, but when I heard Bruce Willis talk about Die Hard, he goes, the reason why people like the original Die Hard is because he likes people like, the humor of a New Jersey guy caught in this situation. It's like, I don't know if that's the catch. All of why that movie is successful. The Jersey humor of John, down to
Kevin Smith
this, he's like, you know why that made money? Cause of me. Yeah, that's it, essentially. That's what he said.
Paul Scheer
And what is it about me? It's probably because I'm from Jersey.
Jason Mantzoukas
My Jersey humor, people really like. I like that Jersey humor. The end of the movie, you know, the main character has his, like, final line, like, you know, diplomatic immunity, whatever.
Paul Scheer
In this one final line, diplomatic immunity.
Jason Mantzoukas
That's Lethal Weapon 2.
Kevin Smith
Been revoked diplomatic immunity.
Jason Mantzoukas
This one, he just basically throws Kenneth Branagh out of the giant spider, and then he goes, now that's a whoopin'. Yeah, but it really isn't. It's more of like, that's a throwin'. Like, it was like, couldn't they have found a way to whip him with some chains or do, like. If you want. If you're gonna end on a line, you should have.
June Diane Raphael
Or make use somehow of him having a half body. I thought that that was gonna play into his death somehow in the end. Not at all.
Jason Mantzoukas
And by the way, if only I'd had a leg, I could have lived.
Paul Scheer
Every bad guy. Every. Every bad guy in this movie. Ted Levine. That's his name, right?
Jason Mantzoukas
Yes.
Paul Scheer
Yeah. And Kenneth Branagh. All the bad guys have such uneventful deaths and deaths that are so circumstantial to the good guys. The good guys barely do any. It's almost like they were like, well, our guys can't really kill people. So we'll have Kenneth Branagh's people shoot Ted Levine, and then Will Smith can have a comeuppance with him, but he's already dead. And then Kenneth Branagh and Will Smith both fall out of the spider, and Will Smith just doesn't save Kenneth Branagh, so he dies. So it's like they never. Meanwhile, they're shooting. Will smith shoots, like, 2,500 people in this movie.
Jason Mantzoukas
He's always killing people. There's no fight. There's no interest. The only person he meets his match with is the Frankenstein, which is not explained. And then Short Circuits.
June Diane Raphael
Well, and in terms of story, you would think that that Final Beat had something to do with Will Smith, like accepting industry and his life and accepting somehow that the gadgets were gonna help him. No, it just. It boils down to race at the last moment, which is not what this movie's about.
Kevin Smith
Nope.
Jason Mantzoukas
Now, clearly we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people who have a different opinion. So it is now time for a second opinion. These are reviews culled from Amazon. I just would like to read you guys this one. EDB writes, Honestly, this is in my top 100 favorite movies of all time out of the thousands that I have seen.
Kevin Smith
Wow.
Jason Mantzoukas
Five star review.
Kevin Smith
That's huge. I like that guy. I wanna show him my.
Jason Mantzoukas
This is another great one. Evan Orozco writes, Wild Wild west is the greatest and most funniest movie in the world. A true classic. The best of the best. Bai Ling is so sexy and has the sexiest ass. Buy this movie. Five stars.
Kevin Smith
And then Most Funniest negates that review. I'm a grammar Nazi. And most funniest. He lost me at that point.
Paul Scheer
But it is the most funniest.
Kevin Smith
It is, to be fair, perilous.
Jason Mantzoukas
Moo writes, this movie was great. The interactions between Will Smith and Kenneth Branagh are a piece of comedic cinema history.
Paul Scheer
Oh my God.
Jason Mantzoukas
But it would have been nice to have a good female character. Put someone like Madeline Kahn or Bernadette Peters in a role. It would have been pants. Weddingly funny.
Kevin Smith
Did my grandmother write this letter back during while she was watching the Carol Burnett Show.
Paul Scheer
I was. I was just gonna say Vicki Lawrence should be in this movie.
Kevin Smith
What was missing was Mama.
Jason Mantzoukas
And he writes, Mel Brooks seems to be the only director who understands how to cast women in comedies. Five stars.
Paul Scheer
Still five stars.
Kevin Smith
Mel Brooks.
Paul Scheer
Still five stars. I have some problems, but still five stars.
Jason Mantzoukas
Mel Brooks did it.
Paul Scheer
Madeline Khan.
Kevin Smith
Wow.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, this has been so great to have you. Kevin. I was talking to you before we started talking about the show. I am a of part obsessed with your new show on Hulu called Spoilers. This is not even a. This is a legitimate. I am a fan of this show. It's so fun to watch.
Kevin Smith
Thank you.
Jason Mantzoukas
You bring a bunch of people to a movie, you talk about it honestly and then you interview someone from.
Kevin Smith
It's fun.
Jason Mantzoukas
It's fun.
Kevin Smith
If you haven't seen it yet, you can pop over to Hulu. It's free. You can watch it. And it's. We tried to do like not a movie review show, but a show about Movies that. Where you could talk about movies, but not like, here's our scale, and it gets this and blah, blah, blah.
Jason Mantzoukas
I think it's the best way to watch a movie review show. Just have an audience. Cause it's like, different people. And you're.
Sponsor/Ad Reader
I like that guy.
Jason Mantzoukas
Like, it's. It's a fun.
Kevin Smith
Like, Siskel and Ebert were two strangers who you grew to know over years as, oh, they review movies. But it's not like there were, you know, experts or worked in the business or something like that. People will say, roger Eber, Road beyond the Valley. I understand. I understand he's done some work as well. But in that way, there was like, you were listening to people pontificate. When you watch spoilers, it's more about, like, you're watching people, real people just talk about. Yeah, yeah. And it's all also kind of like the way you talk about movies with your friends where, like, even shit you hate, you don't go like, oh, it was a cinematic abortion. No stars, thumbs down. You just go like, this part was awesome. This part was fucking stupid.
Jason Mantzoukas
That's what we do here. So definitely check out spoilers. And a big reminder to watch NTSF sdsuv. It is the show that I do on Adult Swim with June. This week's episode is a Martin episode. Alison Brie is in this episode. It's one of my favorites. It's called Sabbath, A return of Kerry Kinney. So definitely check that out at 12:15. Jason's coming up in an episode in a little bit.
Paul Scheer
Yeah. Children's Hospital back on the air.
Jason Mantzoukas
Children's Hospital.
Sponsor/Ad Reader
Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas
Great stuff. So check out Adult Swim Thursday night, who is so funny and so great. So thanks, everybody. Thanks to Brett, our engineer, Carolyn Julia, everybody here at Earwolf, buy our biling. Inspired. How did this get made T shirts. We'll see you next time. Bye.
Sponsor/Ad Reader
Bye.
Jason Mantzoukas
Hey, guys, it's David and I'm Jason. This is the Views podcast. Yeah. And this is our podcast. And we talk about.
Sponsor/Ad Reader
What do we talk about on here?
Kevin Smith
We talk about scientific things.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yes.
Kevin Smith
We talk about friendship.
Jason Mantzoukas
We talk about sex.
Kevin Smith
We talk about rock and roll.
Sponsor/Ad Reader
Talk about living in la. Being an influencer.
Kevin Smith
Not being an influencer.
Jason Mantzoukas
Jason.
Kevin Smith
Trying to be an actor.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Sponsor/Ad Reader
Trying to figure out how to live life.
Kevin Smith
And everything we say is mostly wrong.
Jason Mantzoukas
Pretty much.
Kevin Smith
Yeah. So don't take anything. Don't take anything seriously and just enjoy the ride.
Jason Mantzoukas
Sorry, there's noise in the.
Kevin Smith
Our friend is filming a video.
Paul Scheer
Listen to Views wherever you get your podcasts.
Kevin Smith
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show. Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?
Paul Scheer
Oh, no.
Jason Mantzoukas
We help people customize and save on
Kevin Smith
car insurance with Liberty Mutual Together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, get a quote@liberty libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
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Air date: May 26, 2026
Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Guest: Kevin Smith
The award-winning movie podcast dives deep into the blockbuster disaster Wild Wild West (1999), joined by filmmaker and raconteur Kevin Smith. The hosts and their guest eviscerate this steampunk western’s failings, both hilarious and offensive—from mechanical spiders and misguided casting to baffling studio decisions. Kevin Smith also shares his infamous "giant spider" John Peters story, linking his own Superman scriptwriting woes to Wild Wild West’s most infamous set-piece.
“He sits me down, he goes, ‘So they tell me that you like Superman. ...I don't want to see him in that suit. I don't want to see him flying... And he has to fight a giant spider in the third act. Swear to you.’” (34:45)
“I went to the movies to go see Wild Wild west, also produced by John Peters… this giant mechanical spider appears, man, and I was like, he got his spider. He finally got his spider.” (37:25)
“When you start making cuts based on an audience reaction that you’re never going to meet again, it’s a slippery slope.” (14:00)
“Does he use a robot wiener on her?” (41:41)
"He'd say things like, 'You know why that movie made $300 million? ...Because that was real jeopardy...Batman in action.' So, that's why that movie works." (59:00)
"Honestly, this is in my top 100 favorite movies of all time out of the thousands that I have seen." (62:38) "Wild Wild west is the greatest and most funniest movie in the world. A true classic. The best of the best. Bai Ling is so sexy and has the sexiest ass. Buy this movie." (63:04)
John Peters and the Spider Obsession
“So he, he was a guy, I guess he'd come from not so much money... but what does fucking Superman have to do with the streets?” — Kevin Smith (31:03) “If he's not in the suit and he's not flying, what do you got?” — Kevin Smith (34:45)
On the Movie’s Racial Dynamics
“Absolutely no attention paid to race and maximum attention paid to race in the worst way.” — Paul Scheer (44:08)
On Studio Comedy for All Ages
“There should be a studio mandate... you have to have a representative from every generation that you're actually trying to court in the theaters on set when you're doing comedy.” — Kevin Smith (50:18)
On All the Contraptions
“This movie might as well be called Gears and Pointless Contraptions because that is... every shot is just the background is just moving parts.” — Paul Scheer (38:58)
On the Pointlessness of the Spider Discs
“This disc is meant to be thrown away... Why would you bother to be like, imprint a spider on it?” — Kevin Smith (39:54)
This episode is a wide-ranging, hilariously scathing breakdown of Wild Wild West—from writers’ room chaos and producers’ eccentric obsessions to steampunk misfires and racial insensitivity. Kevin Smith’s behind-the-scenes anecdotes bridge the gap between Superman Lives and the wild, wild mechanical spider, showing how Hollywood’s strangest stories just keep recurring. The hosts and guest never lose their irreverent, rapid-fire tone even as they engage genuinely with what makes a big-budget flop so fascinating (and sometimes, unintentionally watchable).
Recommended for:
Bad movie aficionados, 90s pop-culture junkies, anyone who ever asked “How did this get made?”