Matinee Monday: Cats

Mon Nov 18 2024

On the first ever live-streamed HDTGM episode, Paul, June, and Jason discuss the 2019 musical Cats. They talk about what exactly is a “Jellicle,” naked cats, magic, the existence of the butthole cut, and much more. Plus, some very special guests share their thoughts on the movie! (Originally Released 11/19/2020)

Transcript

Paul Scheer (0:00)

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Ben Mankiewicz (0:30)

Talking Pictures the podcast from TCM and Max is back with a new season. Here, host Ben Mankiewicz in intimate conversations with the people who live to make us laugh. Carol Burnett, Bill Murray, Paul Scheer, Henry Winkler and more all join Ben to talk about the movies that made them. Talking Pictures isn't just about film. It's about the powerful role movies play in our lives. It's about where you were, who you were with, and what you were feeling. Listen to Talking Pictures on Max or wherever you get your podcasts.

Paul Scheer (1:01)

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Ben Mankiewicz (1:47)

We.

Andrew Lloyd Webber (1:52)

Greetings loyal subjects of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and others. Welcome to this very special edition of Cor Blimey. What could have caused this to happen? I am Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber, the composer of the Broadway musical Cats. Now, what you're about to see is an hilarious skewering of the filmic version of that motion picture, Cats. I, of course, was involved and expected to make just a ton of money. Before you see this special live podcast, I'd like to set the record straight on one or two things. There are certain things that the musical, the Broadway stage musical is responsible for, and there are certain things that the filmic adaptation is responsible for. Now then, the Broadway musical is responsible for not explaining what a jellicle cat is. Ever. You understand, entertainment was in its Infancy. People were willing to pay top dollar to watch unknown actors put on unitards and paste whiskers on their faces. Walk out on stage and say, I'm a Jellicle cat. Won't tell you what that is. Here's me name, here's what I do. And then they fuck off out of it. And another one comes in and does exact exactly the same thing. Repeat. Until the glamorous Grizabella is raised to cat heaven on an old tire. Now then, here is what the film is responsible for. All dialogue. We didn't have dialogue on the stage show. Everyone was doing cocaine. It was a break from talking cockroaches. We didn't have them on the stage. We shouldn't have had them in the film. They just shouldn't be. Taylor Swift's accent, Jason Derulo. He's fighting the film. I think I just wanted to do the meme mucus. There's an unfortunate amount of mucus in the film. We did not have the mucus on stage. Backstage, of course. Oh, buckets of the stuff. Judi Dench, Jim Halperting into the camera multiple times at the end. I don't know what she's doing. She's a dame. You can't tell them anything. And finally, the uncanny valley of all of it. The weirdness, the terrible feeling in your stomach as you watch it, hoping that these things are not real. Now then, enjoy a little nibble of whatever substance alters your personality completely. Sit back, relax, and enjoy this special live episode of. What in the world did you see that this has come into existence? Oh, is there any explanation? This is Andre Lloyd Webber signing off.

Summary

How Did This Get Made? – Matinee Monday: Cats (Release Date: November 18, 2024)

In this episode of "How Did This Get Made?", hosts Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, and Jason Mantzoukas dive deep into the notorious adaptation of the Broadway musical "Cats." The discussion is filled with humor, bafflement, and sharp critiques as the trio dissects what they perceive as one of the most bewildering cinematic endeavors.

1. Initial Reactions and General Impression

The episode kicks off with palpable frustration and disbelief surrounding the "Cats" movie adaptation. Both Paul and Jason express immediate discomfort with the film's premise and execution.

Paul Scheer [08:06]: "It is definitely an assault on all the senses. And I'm saying that in taste and smell, which this movie does not necessarily have, but my senses felt assaulted."
Jason Mantzoukas [07:42]: "I don't have the emotional capacity to have just watched Cats. This is an act of aggression."

Their initial sentiment sets the tone for a critical and often comedic analysis of the film's various shortcomings.

2. Understanding the Jellicle Concept

A central point of confusion revolves around the concept of "Jellicle cats," a term repeatedly used throughout the movie without clear definition.

June Diane Raphael [23:21]: "I think a Jellicle cat is a cat that can be reincarnated. So I think an angelical cat is a cat that can live many, many lives."

The hosts speculate on the meaning and significance of Jellicle cats within the movie's narrative, highlighting the film's failure to provide clarity.

Paul Scheer [22:31]: "We actually do have a clip... Here's what I think it is. Every cat on this earth has the... I believe this is a story about God. We are all made in the image of God. So we are all evangelical cats."

This section underscores the film's lack of coherent world-building and storytelling.

3. Technical Flaws: Scale, Costumes, and CGI

A significant portion of the discussion is dedicated to the movie's technical shortcomings, particularly concerning scale inconsistencies, costume design, and CGI usage.

Jason Mantzoukas [18:16]: "Going into this movie, did you know that the cats were supposed to be scaled to the size of real cats? The cats are nothing is rightly scaled because sometimes there's like a cemetery plot that's 10 foot tall."
June Diane Raphael [54:58]: "Some of the cats have no clothes on but a fur coat. Is that the pelt of a dead cat?"

The hosts highlight glaring issues such as oversized props, mismatched scales between characters and their environments, and inconsistent attire, questioning the film's artistic direction and execution.

4. Character and Performance Critiques

The episode delves into character portrayals, focusing on performances that either fell flat or stood out amidst the chaos.

Jason Mantzoukas [25:12]: "Every song is just an introduction of a cat... None of the songs illustrate character, illustrate theme,..."
Paul Scheer [32:03]: "Just one moment in the movie where I really enjoyed the music. And that's when Jennifer Hudson's voice was finally allowed to open up."

While most performances are critiqued negatively, Jennifer Hudson's rendition of "Memory" receives praise for conveying genuine emotion, standing as a rare highlight in the film.

5. Music and Storytelling

The hosts express disappointment in how the musical elements were integrated, emphasizing the repetitive and non-contributory nature of the songs to the overall narrative.

Jason Mantzoukas [43:03]: "Hamilton is an incredibly... But it doesn't do anything for me the way that music does or the way that plays do."
June Diane Raphael [31:18]: "The only critique I have of this film is that she did the kind of Anne Hathaway in Les Mis. I dreamed a dream like snot running down the nose."

The discussion points out that, unlike successful musicals where songs enhance storytelling, "Cats" fails to use its musical numbers effectively, leading to a disjointed and unenjoyable viewing experience.

6. Audience Engagement and External Perspectives

Midway through the episode, the hosts incorporate audience questions and showcase snippets from a second opinion segment featuring Seth Rogen's insights.

Seth Rogen [91:04]: "The scale is weird. And I did research online, and it told me that the sets were built to a 2.5 scale, which means that the cats would weigh around 60 pounds."
Audience Member Jamie [68:50]: "The cat on the head should be smaller than the lion's head."

These interactions provide additional layers of critique, reinforcing the hosts' sentiments and introducing fresh perspectives on the film's flaws.

7. Production Challenges and Behind-the-Scenes Insights

The conversation touches upon the rushed production timeline and the possible reasons behind the film's numerous issues.

Paul Scheer [74:07]: "Apparently this article in the Daily Beast that came out in 2020, it took six months to produce the two-minute trailer, and then they were only given four months to make the entire film."
Jason Mantzoukas [76:54]: "This movie, I mean, they look like... Paul, how did this get made?"

The hosts suggest that financial pressures and tight deadlines may have led to compromised quality, resulting in the disjointed and poorly executed final product.

8. Final Thoughts and Recommendations

As the episode wraps up, the consensus among the hosts is clear: "Cats" is a cinematic misfire that fails on multiple fronts.

Jason Mantzoukas [95:30]: "Do not watch this movie. It's an unmitigated failure from start to finish. It is unpleasant to watch. It is unsettling. It will haunt my dreams."
June Diane Raphael [97:34]: "I thought that was just great. But it is very... So much going on here."

However, they acknowledge Jennifer Hudson's performance as the sole redeeming aspect of the film, suggesting viewers might consider watching it solely for her rendition of "Memory."

Conclusion

In this episode, "How Did This Get Made?" offers a scathing yet humorous critique of the "Cats" movie adaptation. Through meticulous analysis and engaging banter, Paul, June, and Jason uncover the film's numerous flaws—from technical inconsistencies and poor storytelling to questionable character portrayals and rushed production. While acknowledging the effort behind bringing the Broadway musical to the big screen, the hosts ultimately conclude that "Cats" falls short of expectations, serving as a prime example of how not to adapt a beloved stage production.

Notable Quotes:

Paul Scheer [08:06]: "It is definitely an assault on all the senses."
Jason Mantzoukas [07:42]: "This is an act of aggression."
June Diane Raphael [23:21]: "I think a Jellicle cat is a cat that can be reincarnated."
Jason Mantzoukas [25:12]: "Every song is just an introduction of a cat."
June Diane Raphael [54:58]: "Some of the cats have no clothes on but a fur coat."

This comprehensive summary encapsulates the hosts' discussions, critiques, and insights on the "Cats" movie, providing readers with a clear understanding of the episode's content even if they haven't listened to it.