
On the first ever live-streamed HDTGM episode, Paul, June, and Jason discuss the 2019 musical Cats. They talk about what exactly is a “Jellicle,” naked cats, magic, the existence of the butthole cut, and much more. Plus, some very special guests share their thoughts on the movie! (Originally Released 11/19/2020)
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Paul Scheer
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Ben Mankiewicz
Talking Pictures the podcast from TCM and Max is back with a new season. Here, host Ben Mankiewicz in intimate conversations with the people who live to make us laugh. Carol Burnett, Bill Murray, Paul Scheer, Henry Winkler and more all join Ben to talk about the movies that made them. Talking Pictures isn't just about film. It's about the powerful role movies play in our lives. It's about where you were, who you were with, and what you were feeling. Listen to Talking Pictures on Max or wherever you get your podcasts.
Paul Scheer
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Ben Mankiewicz
We.
Andrew Lloyd Webber
Greetings loyal subjects of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and others. Welcome to this very special edition of Cor Blimey. What could have caused this to happen? I am Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber, the composer of the Broadway musical Cats. Now, what you're about to see is an hilarious skewering of the filmic version of that motion picture, Cats. I, of course, was involved and expected to make just a ton of money. Before you see this special live podcast, I'd like to set the record straight on one or two things. There are certain things that the musical, the Broadway stage musical is responsible for, and there are certain things that the filmic adaptation is responsible for. Now then, the Broadway musical is responsible for not explaining what a jellicle cat is. Ever. You understand, entertainment was in its Infancy. People were willing to pay top dollar to watch unknown actors put on unitards and paste whiskers on their faces. Walk out on stage and say, I'm a Jellicle cat. Won't tell you what that is. Here's me name, here's what I do. And then they fuck off out of it. And another one comes in and does exact exactly the same thing. Repeat. Until the glamorous Grizabella is raised to cat heaven on an old tire. Now then, here is what the film is responsible for. All dialogue. We didn't have dialogue on the stage show. Everyone was doing cocaine. It was a break from talking cockroaches. We didn't have them on the stage. We shouldn't have had them in the film. They just shouldn't be. Taylor Swift's accent, Jason Derulo. He's fighting the film. I think I just wanted to do the meme mucus. There's an unfortunate amount of mucus in the film. We did not have the mucus on stage. Backstage, of course. Oh, buckets of the stuff. Judi Dench, Jim Halperting into the camera multiple times at the end. I don't know what she's doing. She's a dame. You can't tell them anything. And finally, the uncanny valley of all of it. The weirdness, the terrible feeling in your stomach as you watch it, hoping that these things are not real. Now then, enjoy a little nibble of whatever substance alters your personality completely. Sit back, relax, and enjoy this special live episode of. What in the world did you see that this has come into existence? Oh, is there any explanation? This is Andre Lloyd Webber signing off.
Paul Scheer
People, hold on to your buttholes and your cat buttholes. We saw Cats, so you know what that means. Nigga, grow a baby in his belly Rock a roster vest while ripping Justin to Kelly or maybe see a burlesque show when they grow and take a photo Speed to hit and cruise control J man Big Paul in the beautiful Jewel Going to take you from the Grove all the way to the road Rain against the Street Fighter Help to blow off steam Just to suck a punch to eyelight for Timmy how we staying alive? They call me when they're badass and he's on the line cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice Cause they bad Jim funny looking kind nice Paulin Jo literal Jason is getting laid Jul is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid they judge a bunch of movies while they making the grade Here's a real question for you. How did this get paid? That's a good luck. Yes. Hello, people of Earth and hello, virtual people of the world. This is our very first live virtual show. We are in the middle of some intense tech issues. Hopefully everything will work out perfectly. But speaking of tech issues, what better show to have tech issues than to talk about the film Cats? Because Cats is one giant technical issue. I mean, really, people, I cannot wait to talk about this film with you. I mean, it is a Jellicle night for a Jellicle podcast about some Jellicle damn Cats. I don't know what Jellicle means, but tonight we're going to try to get to the bottom of that and so, so many other questions. Let's do it, people. Let's break it all down the best way I know how by introducing my co host, Mr. Jason Manzoukas. Welcome, Jason.
Jason Mantzoukas
Fuck you. Whoa, hey, not you, Paul.
Paul Scheer
Wow, Not Paul.
Jason Mantzoukas
I'm talking to the audience. I'm talking to you motherfuckers who made me seven months into isolation watch Cats. I don't have the emotional capacity to have just watched Cats. This is an act of aggression.
Paul Scheer
This is the salve that we all need to get through the time that we are in.
Jason Mantzoukas
Where to God, if someone, if God damn anybody says the word Jellicle, I'm going to have a complete nervous breakdown. I don't. I don't have it. I don't have it left. I don't have anything left to give. And you made me watch what is like, I think a war crime.
Paul Scheer
It is definitely an assault on all the senses. And I'm saying that in taste and smell, which this movie does not necessarily have, but my senses felt assaulted.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't. I watched it. I just watched it. I feel unwell. I feel unclean. I feel. I feel like a way that if I felt this way in normal circumstances, I would take myself to the hospital to say what is wrong with me? But I can't do that. I can't just walk into an ER right now and be diagnosed with fucking cat's fever or whatever I just got. But this was a stone cold nightmare.
Paul Scheer
Well, look, I normally at the top of the show will try to break down what the movie is. In case you've not seen the movie. I can't really do that with this film.
Jason Mantzoukas
Nothing.
Paul Scheer
This, I don't understand it.
Jason Mantzoukas
This is not. There is no plot. There is just. This movie is just a series of introductions of Cats that then immediately leave the movie. What the fuck is this? What is this nightmare?
Paul Scheer
I will say this much. I didn't realize until about almost an hour and 40 minutes in that there is not a single spoken word in this film up until, like, one line, I believe, like, barely.
Jason Mantzoukas
And it doesn't seem. They don't seem to distinguish between what should be spoken and what should be sung. I was. It's arbitrary. The word ineffable is sung so many times.
Paul Scheer
You can't put ineffable in a musician. What are you doing?
Jason Mantzoukas
You can't put. You know, that's a straight brag from Andrew Lloyd Webber. That's a straight brag being like, I'm not going to just put ineffable in here once. I'm going to put it in a lot. I'm going to fucking drown you in dumb words in dumb songs with basic. Fuck this movie. I wish I'd been able to see Buttholes, Give me buttholes, Give me buttholes, Give me buttholes so that I can watch. To distract me from the nightmare that is this movie.
Paul Scheer
We are going to pick it apart, and we're slightly stalling right now because June is still going through some technical issues. But I'll say this to you, Jason, come on fire. I. I have so much. There's so much to say, and I'm so happy that we're doing this in a visual medium for people that are here tonight, because we. We're going to have to. We're going to.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't want to see. I don't want to have to relook at any. I don't want to. Have to look at. I don't want to see Cats ever again. I don't want to hear Cats ever again. I don't want to hear these songs ever again. I don't ever want to hear the word jellicle or rum tum tugger. I don't want to hear any. I don't want to hear these names.
Paul Scheer
This movie is gross. Not since the Garbage Bale kid have I felt a disgust. And I tell you, I hate those tails and I hate those ears. They're moving way too much. Here's like, you know what?
Jason Mantzoukas
You would think there would be. You would almost think, hey, maybe there's something sexy about these cats dancing and walking around and, you know, dancing and doing all their biz. No, there's nothing sexy about these cats.
Paul Scheer
It is not nervous. Not even naked Idris Elba at the very end of the film. It's upset Idris.
Jason Mantzoukas
Like, I was like, oh, no, they got Idris. Oh, no.
Paul Scheer
All right, well, let's bring in a Person who's going to have a lot to say, my other co host, Ms. June Diane Rayfield. Welcome, June. How are you?
June Diane Raphael
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my word. Oh, my Lord.
Jason Mantzoukas
We've already been on a journey.
June Diane Raphael
We have. I'm happy to be here. I. Wow. I've been over here like a curious kitten waiting to get on.
Jason Mantzoukas
No, June, no.
June Diane Raphael
I have, like, a curious, curious cat. And I want to talk about the. I want to talk about the cat physicality.
Paul Scheer
No, June, stop it. Stop it.
June Diane Raphael
That happened in this movie and where. Because it came and went. It came and it went well. There was sort of like, there were no rules to when cats were cats and when they were just sort of talking like people.
Paul Scheer
Well, can I just say that the actors in this movie went to cat school. Did you know that they studied cats? They did.
Jason Mantzoukas
I would like to know if they did. It would have been a better. If they did, it would have been a better movie.
Paul Scheer
I'm going to show you.
June Diane Raphael
You're saying Walking Dead when they go to, like, zombie school.
Paul Scheer
First of all, how do you know about the Walking Dead?
June Diane Raphael
That's nothing.
Jason Mantzoukas
Huge reveal from ch.
Paul Scheer
What you just said was the most shocking thing out of your mouth.
Jason Mantzoukas
I almost feel like we should stop the show to just talk about this right now.
June Diane Raphael
I've never seen it, but I did. You know, I have a. So what's interesting about that is, like, a desire. I have a desire to go to cats school.
Jason Mantzoukas
Okay.
June Diane Raphael
Like, I have a desire. I miss being in acting school. I miss, like, being seaweed on the ground and like, all of the weird shit.
Jason Mantzoukas
I will say.
June Diane Raphael
You did an acting conservatory.
Jason Mantzoukas
I applied to cat University and I did not get in.
Paul Scheer
Oh, meow. Did not get in.
June Diane Raphael
So I have. I have a deep interest in, like, Jella.
Jason Mantzoukas
No, you're a Jella. No, cat.
Paul Scheer
Go ahead, take a look at a little bit of cat school.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, God. Do we have to.
June Diane Raphael
If you told me I was going to get to go to cat school.
Paul Scheer
Every day for work.
June Diane Raphael
What?
Paul Scheer
And I'm like, how does a human.
Jason Mantzoukas
Portray being a cat?
June Diane Raphael
Learning about cats and what their main.
Jason Mantzoukas
Body language and their way of communication.
Paul Scheer
What.
June Diane Raphael
What it all meant was so helpful.
Jason Mantzoukas
This lovely lady, Sarah, who just makes us aware of Idris. What are you doing, buddy?
Seth Rogen
And what their instincts are.
June Diane Raphael
Sarah, who worked with all the cast.
Jason Mantzoukas
Cat movement specialists on what we called organic cat, which means organic cat.
Paul Scheer
What does heaviness look like? Why was Grizabella called the Glimmer Cat and how much of that is left in her now?
June Diane Raphael
That she's broken down. And how do you put that into a cat? It's very much about the sunset.
Paul Scheer
All right, I'll stop the clip there.
June Diane Raphael
Okay, stop, stop, stop. Wait a second. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. So, okay. Cause here's. I wanna start at the very beginning. I wanna, I wanna stop the whole podcast.
Jason Mantzoukas
I wanna walk away.
June Diane Raphael
Okay. I wanna end this. I thought for sure this is, this the narrative here. The story, what I'm gonna walk away with is gonna be than about. Like the story is going to be much more than just about Cats.
Paul Scheer
How wrong you were, it turns out.
Jason Mantzoukas
When you say story, when you say story. What do you mean by that? When you say.
June Diane Raphael
So here's the thing.
Jason Mantzoukas
The story was going to be more about. Because I'm asking only because repeatedly through my notes, I wrote, what is the story of this movie? What is the plot that these songs are meant to illustrate?
Paul Scheer
Well, I wrote down in my notes, I said this. I go, can we just stop for a second and, and just comprehend that this is not a bad movie. This is a movie that is a full on adaptation of one of the longest running Broadway musicals. This is a, like, they didn't change much. It wasn't like, oh, they adapted it weirdly. This was on Broadway longer than most things ever. You know, when you go get your car serviced, it feels like everything is wrong, right? Oh, you need to fix this. You need to get that done. And it just feels like, am I getting taken for a ride? Well, with Midas, you don't have to deal with upsells, intimidation, or unnecessary stress from oil changes to tires. Midas provides the services that you need and doesn't pressure you into services that you don't. Midas believes in honest, straightforward auto care that you can trust. Welcome to Auto Care without bad service. Visit midas.com for a location near you. Texas Pete. Oh, my gosh, I love Texas Pete. It is the hot sauce that allows you to sauce like you mean it. All right. Texas Pete sauce is packed with bold and balanced flavor. I've loved Texas Pete for years. When I got a box of their stuff at my house, I was so psyched. Because what I love about their hot sauce is their tanginess. Okay? You can use it on anything. And you're going to try every flavor. I mean, you got the original, which is great. That's fermented peppers. It's a special blend. Then you got the hotter hot sauce, which is three times hotter than the original. And believe me, it is not for the faint of heart. Then you got Sabor by Texas Pete which adds an authentic Mexican flavor. And I gotta tell you, that might be my favorite next to their Dust Dry seasoning which matches the flavor of the original hot sauce in a flavorful dry rub. It is so so great. Texas Pete Sauce like you mean it. Visit texas pete.com and use the store locator to find Texas Pete products as well as purchase sauces and get recipe inspiration and use the promo code podcast24for20% off@texaspete.com with big wireless providers, what you see is never what you get. Somewhere in between the store and the first month's bill, the price just magically skyrockets. What happened there? Well, with Mint Mobile, you'll never have to worry about Gotchas again. When mint mobile says 15 bucks a month when you purchase a three month plan, they mean it. Now I got to tell you, our producer Scott recently got fed up after noticing another surprise fee from his big wireless provider. And then he made the switch to Mint Mobile. He says not only is his new plan way cheaper, but now he knows exactly how much he pays every month. Straight up. To get this new customer offer and a new 3 month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mint mobile.com HDTGM that's mint mobile.com HDTGM cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mint mobile.com HDTGM $45 upfront payment fee required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first 3 month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.
Jason Mantzoukas
Real Question I have a real question for both of you.
June Diane Raphael
What's up?
Jason Mantzoukas
Going into this movie, did you know that the cats were supposed to be scaled to the size of real cats?
Paul Scheer
Well, that's not true.
Jason Mantzoukas
The cats that's not true movie are Jason. Nothing is regular house cats.
Paul Scheer
No, they're nothing is rightly scaled because sometimes there's like a cemetery plot that's 10 foot tall and then they're next.
Jason Mantzoukas
To the movie's trying to tell us that again the movie like Hobbit style that the movie also lets cats arbitrarily walk on hind legs and walk on all fours. Who cares? Like there are no rules. But when, when, when when it occurred to me when they framed up on on pieces of the movie where the cats were in scale when it's when it's the Rebel Wilson scene and she's in a giant kitchen, I was like this movie to forever fuck Everything forever. Like, I don't.
June Diane Raphael
I can't live like that. But here's what's so weird, though, because I was watching the movie and I was like, oh, this will the. And by the way, I've never seen Cats on Broadway. Has anyone seen the show on Broadway? Okay.
Paul Scheer
No, but I've heard it's a faithful adaptation.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, that's interesting. Okay, so I knew enough. I mean, I was a huge Les Mis fan growing up. I saw the show 16 times. I saw Phantom a number of times. But I did know to steer clear of Cats. Like something. Something in my body was reacting to the.
Paul Scheer
To the poster.
June Diane Raphael
So I knew enough.
Paul Scheer
Well, we grew up in New York, and I feel like I was inundated with ads when I would watch Regis and Kathie Lee ads for Broadway all day long. All day. Cause it was like local street. Yeah, sorry, what? Regis and Kathie Lee?
Jason Mantzoukas
Why as a child are you watching Regis and Kathie Lee so much?
June Diane Raphael
Oh, I watched Regis and Kathie Lee from first grade on.
Paul Scheer
It was the show to watch. It was like, oh, I'm homesick. I get to watch Regis and Kathie Lee. It was like. It felt like late night tv.
Jason Mantzoukas
That show for me was Get Smart, which was on at noon. You're telling me you get. You wanted to stay home sick so you could watch Regis and Cat?
June Diane Raphael
I would wake up on the summers. I would wake up at 8am Head to Channel 7 Eyewitness News, and I would watch Lucy from 8 to 9, or 8 to 8:30, or 8:30 to 9, and then watch Regis.
Jason Mantzoukas
Okay. Wow, that's mind blowing.
Paul Scheer
So the only way that. The only thing that I know about Cats is like these commercials that they would air for Cats, and it would be like people coming out of the theater being like, I love cats. Cats is amazing. And they would play the Memory Song, and there was this, like, giant flying saucer. And like, one of the cats is on a flying saucer and it's like flying up to heaven. And all the other cats are, like, pawing at it. Like. And I was like, yeah, that image.
June Diane Raphael
Of, like, a cat. This, see, this was the image that we saw was like that for years, For a decade. I saw that. And I thought. I mean, I knew to be a bit distrustful of Andrew Lloyd Webber. Like, I knew enough after seeing Phantom. I knew that he wasn't where it's at. But this.
Paul Scheer
Wait a second.
June Diane Raphael
Because I kept on watching it and thinking, oh, my God, like the musical. This must be such a poor Adaptation of what was an incredible stage production. No, but halfway through, I was like, no, there's actually no way.
Jason Mantzoukas
Every song is just an introduction of a cat. And every song's lyrics are just that cat's name and a couple of other lines repeated over and over and over again. It's like none of the songs illustrate character, illustrate theme, illustrate them, but in a way, Jason.
June Diane Raphael
In a way, as a dog person. In a way, as a dog person, I was like, actually. And listen, I know there's a lot of people watching this show right now, and I want to mind my P's and Q's, but as a dog person, I will say a recent dog person. Well, that's all we can say. That's all we can say about cats is their name and, like, two things.
Paul Scheer
But wait a second. That Jellicle song. Oh, my God, that Jellicle song. They're all fucking. Everyone's a Jellicoe. What's a Jellicle?
Jason Mantzoukas
What's a Jellicle? What is a Jellicle? I'm not kidding. What's a Jellicle?
Paul Scheer
Real.
Jason Mantzoukas
Real talk right now. Tell me, what's a Jellicle?
Paul Scheer
We actually do have a clip.
June Diane Raphael
Okay, so I think a Jellicle. Because I want to say I didn't do any. I saw the movie. I didn't do any research on it. I really wanted to come here and just have, like, an authentic, honest experience of the motion picture, for sure.
Paul Scheer
But I did the same.
June Diane Raphael
I think you did, too, Paul, because I know you show up with your little reports.
Paul Scheer
I have some reports, but I did not watch the clips because I really wanted.
Jason Mantzoukas
How little are your reports, Paul? Are they on tiny notebooks? I would love it if you pulled up, like, a little, tiny book.
Paul Scheer
Yes. I got a lot of. A lot of notes.
June Diane Raphael
So I know you show up, but when I'm actually watching some of these movies with you, I know you're as baffled as I am.
Paul Scheer
Oh, I'm not. I did not. I did. Here's what I'm going to say. We do have an answer for what a Jellicoe cat is. I don't know what that answer is, so I can enjoy this conversation with you.
June Diane Raphael
Okay, great. So I think a Jellicle cat is a cat that can be reincarnated. So I think an angelical cat is a cat that can live many, many lives. And once it's done with its, like, time on this earth, head out in a hot air balloon and then be born again.
Jason Mantzoukas
I understand that. Right. So, okay, so let's say that that's true. So only the Jellicle cats are able to qualify for the ball. That gives you some sort of transformative immortality.
Paul Scheer
Right, which they do like once a year. Like it's a New Year's kind of tradition.
Jason Mantzoukas
Rebel Wilson is identified as a gummy cat.
Paul Scheer
Well, I wrote down a still.
Jason Mantzoukas
She's still part of the competition. She's not a Jellicoe cat, but.
Paul Scheer
But gummy cats, Gummy cats and curious cats and glamour cats and Bravo cats are all Jellicle cats. Because here's my theory.
Jason Mantzoukas
If this is true, I swear to God I'm capable of murder.
Paul Scheer
Okay, so this is what I think it is. Every cat on this earth has the. Okay, I have. I have not watched anything. I have not read anything. I purposely was like this. I believe this is a story about God. We are all made in the image of God. So we are all evangelical cats. We all can be God like you talking about. That's what I think. And so we all like. So every one of us can ultimately be in the image of God. You could be a joke if you were in that world. We need to also figure out, are humans in this world? Because I have some questions about that.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, yes, because there are. Because that's. Who throws away the Victoria at the beginning of the movie, by the way.
June Diane Raphael
Just so you know, Jason Paul thought that that main cat was Taylor Swift for an hour and 15 minutes.
Paul Scheer
Oh, I still.
Jason Mantzoukas
I didn't think it for that long, but at the beginning I thought it because I knew she was still in the movie.
Paul Scheer
But I still think it is.
June Diane Raphael
But yeah, I fought it for almost the entirety of the movie.
Jason Mantzoukas
The minute she spoke with a British accent, I was like, there is no way this is Taylor Swift.
June Diane Raphael
Or when she was dancing around on point.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, my God. By the way, why are you.
Paul Scheer
Why are you disbelieving that if Taylor Swift put her mind to it, she could hit.
June Diane Raphael
Listen, I am a Swiftie. I love Taylor Swift. But what though, actually, the one thing I appreciate about her is that she's kind of like a gangly. You know, her posture's pretty bad. Like what she isn't is a dancer.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, but as far as I was concerned, this movie is essentially made with deep fake technology. It's basically just putting the faces. It's putting the faces of all these actors onto dancers bodies. Right? These people are like. These people are not doing these motions. Dancers are. And just their faces are being.
Paul Scheer
No, no, no, no. They went. Jason, they went to cat school. They went to cat school.
Jason Mantzoukas
They went to cat. The cat school can't teach Ian McKellen and Judi Dench how to dance like these cats.
June Diane Raphael
But the dancing is so basic though. There's one at the big balloon, at the big ball scene. They're literally going like 1, 2, 1, 2. It is.
Jason Mantzoukas
It goes on forever. The move.
June Diane Raphael
I agree, but I don't think it's that great.
Jason Mantzoukas
I said in my notes, I was like, it's so repetitive. It appears as though children wrote and choreographed all of this. Like, if you told me kids invented cats, I would believe you.
Paul Scheer
Ok, well, here's what I will say. I want to get to the Jellicle because we are too far away from.
June Diane Raphael
Something we're not understanding what is. So what is a Jellicoe?
Paul Scheer
Ok, let me get into that. I just want to just pop one thing that Jason said, which is this is a deep cut. But. But Francis Ford Coppola was like given like $20 million to make a ride for Disney World. It was called Captain Eo and it was Michael Jackson essentially as like Han Solo and that, that cocaine fueled nightmare where it's like we're making a Michael Jackson Star wars movie. And it has the same exact energy of Cats. And I feel like they were made at the same time. And I feel like this is a time when we were giving creators lots of money and they were just high as fucking kites. And I know that's like a cheap way to say it, but I believe it.
Jason Mantzoukas
Paul, this movie came out last year.
Paul Scheer
I know, but I'm saying.
Jason Mantzoukas
But it's an adaptation.
Paul Scheer
But it's an adaptation. It's just that it's. They're just taking the thing.
June Diane Raphael
But I think, Paul, I think that the stage production, having never seen it, I think it's much better because the problem is. Here's what's so weird. Like I can imagine in terms of scale, like small, like regular, you know, cats.
Ben Mankiewicz
Cats.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't feel safe.
June Diane Raphael
Cats. Cats that are made to scale. Look on stage. When you see big, you know, a big, like fire hydrant, like, that's interesting. That's okay. That's cool to look at. Would you be in the same about this movie? Well, the weird thing about this movie is like with all. With the freedom of cinema, they don't tell this.
Jason Mantzoukas
Cinema. Do not.
Paul Scheer
This is beyond cinema. Beyond cinema. I'm serious.
June Diane Raphael
If we were to see. If we were to see these costumes, okay, do not call these costumes.
Jason Mantzoukas
Do not call these costumes.
June Diane Raphael
Jason. There is not a single body type that Looks good in these costumes.
Jason Mantzoukas
This is all cg. It's all cg. There's no costumes.
June Diane Raphael
Why are you saying that there's no costumes? Costumes. They're wearing something over their bodies.
Paul Scheer
They look like they're wearing fucking sweatsuits. Can I just show you this one article that I pulled up because this is actually great. Avril Halley, one of our producers who helps find all these movies, she found this article. I want to show up Article 2 here. This is what Jason Derulo had to say about his costume. So Jason Derulo says, much to his dismay, his penis and Cats is smaller than he would have liked. He goes, they CGI the dick out. Rum Tum Tiger thinks that he does not have.
Jason Mantzoukas
He was a tugger, which is great. Which is a great character name for someone who wants his dick to be more featured.
June Diane Raphael
Here's the thing, though. What's so strange about the fact that you can't see any, like, outlines of genitalia? I mean, I didn't know I would miss it as much as I did. Like, there was something so unsettling about seeing humans standing upright with cat faces and cat ears with no breasts and no genitalia. There was. It was unsettling.
Jason Mantzoukas
All right, well, let's also this. I have a question. What are. What's the. What's the. What's the point of clothes?
Paul Scheer
Okay, tell me.
Jason Mantzoukas
Why are they wearing clothes sometimes? Check if you are a cat owner right now. Check your cat for a full body zipper and see if they can be unzipped to reveal more fur, but clothing underneath, because that happens in this movie.
Paul Scheer
She actually has two outfits on. But let's go. Let's actually answer the question of what Jellicle is. This is. This is Judi Dench.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't want to know. I don't even want to.
Paul Scheer
Ah, here we go.
Jason Mantzoukas
I believe you truly are a Jellicoe cat.
Paul Scheer
A Jellicoe cat.
June Diane Raphael
Why?
Jason Mantzoukas
How is this part of that movie?
June Diane Raphael
Wait, what?
Paul Scheer
Wait, she didn't really explain what it is. I guess I'm looking now here. She just said. I guess she said. I mean, it doesn't really.
Jason Mantzoukas
They don't explain it. You know what? I have an update. They don't explain it. They just say the word jellicle upwards of 250 times in one hour and 50 minutes.
Paul Scheer
Kristen.
June Diane Raphael
Marie. I'm going to say something else. I'm gonna say something else. Paul. What I was looking forward to was the music. And there was only one moment in the movie.
Paul Scheer
Oh, I have that ready.
June Diane Raphael
But hold on one moment in the movie where I really enjoyed the music. And that's when Jennifer Hudson voice was finally allowed to open up. Here's the only time the rest of the movie is people talking like this and saying jellicle singing.
Jason Mantzoukas
This is a musical. This is a musical. Magic is cats. Here we go. Up and down. Here we go.
June Diane Raphael
Here we go.
Jason Mantzoukas
Ring the doorbell, Steal the fish. Now I'm wearing a neck. That's the movie.
June Diane Raphael
And then sing.
Jason Mantzoukas
When Jennifer Hudson sings, it's the only time there is emotion conveyed in the movie when she sings both times. When she sings outside.
Paul Scheer
Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas
By the street post. And when she signs inside, sings rather inside. It is electric to watch because she is so compelling, she is so emotive. And what she's singing, I think is an emotion filled song, but more.
Paul Scheer
More emotive than the Rebel Wilson song.
Jason Mantzoukas
More emotive than every single other person who sings because everybody else is just singing. Here we go. We're going over here now. We're over here. Look in the door. The door is this. And here we go now. What's up?
Paul Scheer
Let's, let's, let's, let's just give. If you don't ever see the movie, this is the best part of the movie. This is Jennifer Hudson's part that we just talked about here.
Jason Mantzoukas
This is beautiful, fantastic, unequivocal.
June Diane Raphael
It's crazy to see her now. It's crazy to see a cat now, having been away from the cats for so long.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah.
Paul Scheer
You accept from the cat now for.
June Diane Raphael
About almost 24 hours. So to go back in and to see them, this is my favorite moment of the movie. To see them now is so shocking.
Paul Scheer
Is that Anne halfway?
Jason Mantzoukas
I know. I just watched it like an hour ago. So this, to me, I'm still inside of it and it feels to me like, still like, ugh. Like I'm gonna wake up from a nightmare every time. Like I will have nightmares tonight.
Paul Scheer
Oh, it's still going. Yeah. We can end it.
Jason Mantzoukas
No, it's fine.
June Diane Raphael
Listen, I mean it when I say.
Jason Mantzoukas
We'Re all in agreement. That's the best part.
Paul Scheer
And we all are.
June Diane Raphael
I said, I said to you, Paul, last night, I'm sorry, I'm screaming.
Jason Mantzoukas
No, I love that we're all pointing some. We're all doing it.
Paul Scheer
It's the best.
June Diane Raphael
I said to Paul last night after that song, I said, can you rewind it? I'd like to hear it again now. I have had to sit through so many of the films that we've watched on this podcast.
Paul Scheer
And so have I.
June Diane Raphael
So many. So much terrible content.
Jason Mantzoukas
You know, we all have.
June Diane Raphael
But Paul. I know, but the one time I say, you know what? I'd actually. I would actually like to hear that again. Roll the tapes. Like, please rewind. And Paul said, no.
Paul Scheer
Whoa.
June Diane Raphael
I could not believe.
Paul Scheer
And then she got up.
Jason Mantzoukas
Question. Is that why you guys are broadcasting from different rooms?
June Diane Raphael
Well, we don't live together, Jason.
Paul Scheer
No, we. We have an old 1950s relationship. Shoot. We have two beds on separate sides of the house.
June Diane Raphael
Hear about couples, though, who live in separate houses and function together as married couples. That is. And I'm not saying I want that. I'm really not. But that is. I see.
Jason Mantzoukas
I get it.
June Diane Raphael
I don't want to, like, walk, stand. I see how it. How it works.
Paul Scheer
By the way, if we did that, you would. Right now. You would not be on this stream yard if that was the case.
June Diane Raphael
Fair enough.
Paul Scheer
I'm running down the stairs to pass off extra computers. I will say this. I will say this. And then, as June said to me right before the show started, I have been having issues with this computer.
June Diane Raphael
I have been.
Jason Mantzoukas
This reminds me. This reminds me. I have been having some issues with.
June Diane Raphael
A lot of audio issues.
Paul Scheer
Here's what I want to say. I did rewind it, or June actually rewound it. And then I went to bed. I was very tired. I had to get up early this morning, and what did I hear? Click. The TV went back on. June found that scene again, played it again three times in a row, and then when that was off, started singing it in the kitchen at, like, midnight, belting it out. I was in.
June Diane Raphael
I mean, it was amazing. So here's the thing about the movie. You know, the voices never open up. And that was the one time, and I had been waiting for it. And I did love Jennifer Hudson's choices there. And when she went soft and spoke it out and when she opened up there, the only time there was, like, a note that was ever sustained in this musical question mark. I did love it. I think that song is stunning. I think that song is absolutely beautiful. My only critique is that she did. The only critique I have of this film is that she did the kind of Anne Hathaway in Les Mis. I dreamed a dream like snot running down the nose.
Paul Scheer
Yeah, it was very Viola Davis and Fences. I felt like, is it snot or.
Jason Mantzoukas
Was it tears that had run into her? Was it tears that had run into her nose or snot?
Paul Scheer
No, that was snot.
June Diane Raphael
It's not. And I feel like, well, just a few years earlier.
Jason Mantzoukas
I just want to make sure you're saying it's snot. Not. It's not.
June Diane Raphael
No, I'm not saying it's not. I'm saying it's not.
Jason Mantzoukas
It's snot.
June Diane Raphael
This is how Gus. This is how our son, like, learns how to, like, blend. It's snot.
Paul Scheer
No, June, you would not. You would not blend two different words. They blend the one word so they go like, it's.
Jason Mantzoukas
It's.
Paul Scheer
It's snot. No, it'd be a snot. Yeah, snot. There it is.
Ben Mankiewicz
Talking Pictures, the podcast from TCM and Max is back with a new season. Here hosts Ben Mankiewicz in intimate conversations with the people who live to make us laugh. Carol Burnett, Bill Murray, Paul Scheer, Henry Winkler, and more all. Join Ben to talk about the movies that made them. Talking pictures isn't just about film. It's about the powerful role movies play in our lives. It's about where you were, who you were with, and what you were feeling. Listen to Talking Pictures on Max or wherever you get your podcasts.
Paul Scheer
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Jason Mantzoukas
Hey, hey, audience, don't come at us. I don't need to hear from you. You're all the balcony as far as I'm concerned.
Paul Scheer
Kristen Marie. Kristen Marie says this. She says the name Jellicle comes from an unpublished poem by T.S. eliot entitled Policia Dogs Angelical cats. Where police dogs is corruption or poor little dogs, Angelica is dear little cats. So this is also. This is not only a musical, this is based on a T.S. eliot poem.
Jason Mantzoukas
No, thanks.
June Diane Raphael
No, it's not.
Jason Mantzoukas
No, it's not. I have an update. It can't be.
June Diane Raphael
It's not.
Jason Mantzoukas
I'm saying it's snot. It's not. The poem is not like it's literally flair. It is an unfair.
June Diane Raphael
What I am saying is it's not based on that poem.
Paul Scheer
Can I just bring up one thing here too? Because there's so many things I want to talk about. I just felt like, first of all, I feel like there's no fault here. Everyone committed to their roles. And I do want to call that out. I think it's a flawed film.
Jason Mantzoukas
But I, I mean, like, I'm going to start by blaming Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Paul Scheer
Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas
I mean, like there are.
June Diane Raphael
That's where, by the way, most of the blame.
Paul Scheer
Yes. But I want to blame everyone who read this script and thought, yeah, I want to do this. This is my next big project. I mean, you said to me, poor Jennifer Hudson. I looked at you, I said, what do you mean, poor Jennifer Hudson? She agreed to do it. Gotten that suit.
June Diane Raphael
But I like her.
Paul Scheer
Well, she wasn't forced. That's what I'm saying. Like, she must have read something like, Idris Elba, one of the most in demand actors, is like, I feel like I gotta do Macavity. Like, Macavity.
Jason Mantzoukas
That's what I wanna know. And this is. This is for real. And this is a real question for both of you. I hate musicals. Hard stop. Right?
Paul Scheer
Okay.
Jason Mantzoukas
I'm not interested. Not interested what? Have you seen everything, right?
Paul Scheer
I mean, like, June talked to him about Les Mis.
Jason Mantzoukas
Not interested in Les Mis. Not interested in.
June Diane Raphael
Have you seen it?
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't like. Yes, I.
June Diane Raphael
Have you seen it?
Jason Mantzoukas
Yes. Yes, I have. I saw it both on stage and I saw the movie.
June Diane Raphael
You shouldn't say that, Jason.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't. I don't enjoy when people in the play. I'm enjoying. Start singing. It seems jarring. I did notice about you, and it's unnecessary. You know what it is? It's not for me. I'm not interested in musicals. So this isn't for me.
June Diane Raphael
And that's a limitation for you.
Jason Mantzoukas
And you know what? I'm living in this world. I'm out in these streets hating music. That's okay.
June Diane Raphael
But have you seen Hamilton?
Jason Mantzoukas
Yes, I've seen Hamilton. I thought Hamilton. See, what I enjoyed about Hamilton was it is sung from start to finish. It is. There is no dialogue.
June Diane Raphael
So is this. There's literally two lines of dialogue in this.
Jason Mantzoukas
But there should have been dialogue. Hamilton does a good job telling a story inside of the songs and illustrating character and illustrating theme.
Paul Scheer
Right. There's no story here.
Jason Mantzoukas
Hamilton is an incredibly.
June Diane Raphael
I mean, how do you feel about Sondheim?
Jason Mantzoukas
Sondheim. Very interesting. And I enjoy stuff I've seen, but it doesn't connect with me the way that. Like the way that music does or the way that plays do. Somehow the fusion, I think maybe because I wasn't raised with musicals or I don't know what, but it just seems to me like I'm like, oh, here we go. Singing. I don't need this right now.
Paul Scheer
I always. I like musicals because I think I have my first makeout during a musical.
June Diane Raphael
Okay, how do I get. How do I exit this live stream?
Jason Mantzoukas
What musical were you and your mom seeing?
Paul Scheer
We saw Paul.
June Diane Raphael
It is so inappropriate to make out during a musical. It's a live show. There are actors on stage. What are you talking about?
Paul Scheer
It was me and my girl. We went on a school trip, and my girl.
Jason Mantzoukas
A VHS copy of the movie.
Paul Scheer
My Girl, the direct to Broadway adaptation of my girl 2. Oddly, I don't know why that got in there.
June Diane Raphael
During a live performance of a musical while actors barely afford to live in New York City were doing their work.
Paul Scheer
On stage in front of Now I love musicals.
Jason Mantzoukas
Do you think we can get. Do we think this woman. Do we think this now grown woman will call in and discuss the make out during. If she's listening right now, I need to hear what's happening to me and my girl. The me and my girl make out.
Paul Scheer
Jim Dale. By the way, it was star Jim Dale. One of your. Yeah, one of your favorite.
Jason Mantzoukas
Now I'm curious.
Paul Scheer
Yeah, of course. There you go. I remember everything about it. I remember it all. But here's the thing. Besides me making out to musicals, I'm so upset.
June Diane Raphael
I'm so upset.
Jason Mantzoukas
I will. I will admit that I did take someone to Starlight Express in hopes of making up with them afterwards, but that was like much older. I was probably 18 years old or something.
Paul Scheer
Oh, wow. How was Starlight?
Jason Mantzoukas
It was awful, Paul. It was a nightmare because it was both a musical and they were on, I'm sorry, Rollerblades.
Paul Scheer
That's hard pass.
Jason Mantzoukas
Hard pass.
June Diane Raphael
What I love about musicals is that yes, it does require us as an audience to kind of suspend a different type of disbelief and transcend. And I'm personally ready for that journey. But I've also done a lot of work, Jason. I've done myself.
Jason Mantzoukas
Listen, so you're brave, June, you're brave. There's things I'm not willing to go in. There's things I'm not willing to open myself to. And one of them is shockingly basic sung story points. You know, like, that does not. It doesn't do anything for me. You know, I just watched Lin Manuel Miranda explain on Rishikesh Hiraway's show Song exploder on Netflix.
Paul Scheer
Oh, yeah, that's great.
Jason Mantzoukas
All about the creation of one of the songs in Hamilton. And it's electric to watch. If you let Rishi Keshe here, we interview Andrew Lloyd Weber about any of these songs, you'd be like, I don't know, I just wrote a bunch of words and then we repeated them over and over and over.
Paul Scheer
Ineffable. I mean, yeah, I mean, Jellicoe, Jellicoe, Jellicle, Ineffable.
Jason Mantzoukas
Ineffable. Jellicle. That's it.
Paul Scheer
Well, let's. Let's even go past the songs and past the music and just say, like, can we agree on what the world is? Right. Because if there are humans, we are in the middle of a London town where there are giant billboards from a cavity.
Jason Mantzoukas
It's not. I don't think London.
Paul Scheer
I call it London Town. I call it London Town. I call it London Town.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't think it's a subset of some town of London.
Paul Scheer
I think it's just UK audience that's watching right now. It's London town. Right? So all in London town. But there is a. There is a marquee of McAvity. And I was like, is he running for mayor? But is he. Or is he just running to be a jellicle? Like, take a look at this marquee. And by the way, if it's. I mean, how do the cats afford this?
Jason Mantzoukas
Here's my next question. Why is he magic? Why is there magic? What are the rules?
Paul Scheer
Well, that's David. That's the Miscavige cat. Or the David Miscavige cat.
Jason Mantzoukas
Where is Shelly Miscavige?
June Diane Raphael
Where is Shelley?
Jason Mantzoukas
Where is she?
Paul Scheer
Oh, wait, that. Yeah, pull up that one.
June Diane Raphael
Any updates, by the way? Any updates on her?
Jason Mantzoukas
Where is Shelley McCaffey?
Paul Scheer
She's here watching the show. She's a big fan.
Jason Mantzoukas
She's a big fan.
Paul Scheer
And she was like, get me.
June Diane Raphael
I didn't want to joke about it because she is in the hole.
Paul Scheer
Okay. All right. Well, look, so Macavity, there's a wanted. Science says wanted for everything. So this is a world where. Macavity, there's no humans in this world. Because if a human saw that, they would be like, wait, we want a cat? And why does a cat look like a. Like, I don't understand the world.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't understand why they're definitely humans. Because the first character we see in the movie is a human being who steps out of a car and throws the Victoria cat, who's in a pillowcase into the trash, right? And so that person, human being, is throwing away the cat. So we can presume that there are humans.
Paul Scheer
Right, Right.
Jason Mantzoukas
You know, like, that we know. So we don't really see them again, so that's fine. But we understand that these cats all live inside of a human world because everything is put to scale. Now, my question, though, is, why is there magic? Why? It's okay. Okay, you want to tell me this is what happens when cats are alone? Like, this is like Toy Story is the story of toys when the humans aren't around. Okay. This is the story of cats when humans aren't around. Great. Why is there magic? Why can he disappear? Why can he Disappear people to the. To a boat.
June Diane Raphael
Well, I do think. Well, I mean, I do think cats have been imbued with. And whether. Whether they are magical or are not magical. That's not for me to decide.
Paul Scheer
It's not for it.
June Diane Raphael
Just not.
Jason Mantzoukas
But I mean, without a doubt, that's the T shirt. That is the T shirt. It's already been decided.
Paul Scheer
We will have this T shirt up by the end of this show.
June Diane Raphael
I do feel like there's a long history. I remember distinctly a story my mom and dad told me about when my oldest sister was born. They lived in Manhattan in an apartment on the Upper west side. And they had a window in their apartment. It's just a one bedroom to the courtyard. And my oldest sister Deanna was very young, she must have been about two or three months old. And there was a cat that would come to the window. And my mom was terrified of the cat, like essentially stealing the baby's soul.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, that's a thing. Right.
June Diane Raphael
But that's what I'm saying. There is a lot of lore and mystical attributes now when it comes to cats. Whether that's true or not, I don't mind that.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't mind that. And in fact, there is some, some attention paid to that by the fact that, like, the theater is the Egyptian and there is the cat God perched above that theater. And I think they're trying to make a couple of those things, but it's not backed up by the movie. The movie does nothing to escape. Establish the rules of the magic that Idris Elba's character is participating in. And everybody seems shocked that he's able to do it. You know, that. That plus the fact that apparently Dame Judi Dench, like a literal national treasure, can essentially grant a cat to be reincarnated into a different life. Like that. That bit of magic, too. I also couldn't quite wrap my head around, like, the goal of this appears to be to sing so good you get to ride the chandelier into the sky.
Paul Scheer
Here's my two points on this movie. One, I think that Andrew Lloyd.
Jason Mantzoukas
That's a movie, man.
Paul Scheer
I think that Andrew Lloyd Webber is. He's seeing into the future. This is a post Covid world where cats have taken over. That's A or bb. This movie should have been titled Birds, because I feel like this is a much more of a bird movie because I don't see cats flocking together like this. At one point, the cats turn on.
June Diane Raphael
Each other and they don't.
Paul Scheer
And they all like are on a statue at one point there's a picture of like most of the cats. We have that, like where the pictures are like the cats are hanging off a statue. Like, cats don't like climb up architecture. Like.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, they do when they've been choreographed to. You have to remember that these cats have been choreographed.
Paul Scheer
Right. Okay.
Jason Mantzoukas
At Cat University to within an inch of their life in order to. Upon seeing fountains, statues, garbage cans, trash barrels, dumpsters, to choreograph themselves in a non dynamic way to interact with these items. I could talk for, I'm going to say one hour with uninterrupted, simply about the James Corden musical number.
Paul Scheer
Okay, I have an issue. I like James Corden a lot. I feel like. I feel like they were like, this movie is not really working. Let's cut to him to kind of undercut the movie because he really just calls out like, this ain't working. And I know it.
Jason Mantzoukas
I. It is. He is working. And I also like James Corden. He is working so hard.
Paul Scheer
Him and Rebel Wilson are like, let's.
Jason Mantzoukas
Do it so hard. And it is. The movie is doing them no favors. The movie is actively mocking them as it goes. The James Corden stuff. I don't. He arrives dressed like Mr. Monopoly. No, that's not James Corden. That's Mr. It's fine. But again, more magic. Why. Why is he able to conjure.
June Diane Raphael
Okay, I know, but that's one song that I did enjoy.
Jason Mantzoukas
His song. Yes, okay, sure. I didn't, but I understand, like, because at least I understood the goal of the song, which was to give him the. To give him the confidence to bring back old Deuteronomy. Right, Great. Fine.
Paul Scheer
By the way, why is her name Deuteronomy? And everybody else is like, bingle bangle, jingle bangles. Like and like. And that one is like. That one is a Bible. That is a Bible.
Jason Mantzoukas
Name teaser, Mongo, Jerry. Like, what the fuck? What is. Okay, so James Corden shows up dressed like he's in a different movie. All the cats are nude and he's wearing all the clothes. Right?
June Diane Raphael
Well, have no clothes on, but just sneakers.
Jason Mantzoukas
Some of the cats have no. Some of the cats have no clothes on but a fur coat. Is that the pelt of a dead cat?
Paul Scheer
Well, I mean, somebody think about that. But this is.
Jason Mantzoukas
How many characters are wearing fur in.
Paul Scheer
By the way, this brings me to my Gremlins 2 dilemma.
Jason Mantzoukas
Are these trophies?
Paul Scheer
This is my Gremlins 2 dilemma. Who is making the cat clothes? Because it doesn't feel like it's oversized. It fits the cats. So someone. There is a clothing maker for cats.
Jason Mantzoukas
There is a cat tailor. There's gotta be. We never go there, but there's gotta be some sort of cat equivalent of. Yeah, go ahead.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, I'm sorry. This is what's weird. And I know I'm circling the screen and no one can see this, but there are certain cats here that look like they do have, like, the outline of breasts or pets or whatever.
Jason Mantzoukas
For sure. For sure.
June Diane Raphael
You know? But then there are certain cats who don't.
Jason Mantzoukas
And there's also, in this frame, cats who are 100% hind leg walkers and also cats that are 100% all four, which is. Which seems to me to be indiscriminate. Basically, you. If you want to be on all fours, great. If you want to be up on your hind legs, that's okay.
June Diane Raphael
Listen, I don't ever want to see a cat just up on its hind legs, just walking around, walking around.
Jason Mantzoukas
Here I am. If I had a cat and I was like, here's my cat.
June Diane Raphael
No, thank you.
Jason Mantzoukas
I'd be like, get this demon out of my house.
Paul Scheer
Can we talk about the cat orgy? I won't even play the sound that loud. I just want to look at it with you guys. This is the cat orgy right here. This is in the most sexual scene where all the cats are. They're all high on, I mean, Taylor Swift's catnip, I think, at this point. Right.
Jason Mantzoukas
Which, no, I don't think this is that.
Paul Scheer
Okay. But when they're.
June Diane Raphael
This is when they are summoning the, I think, next evangelical cat.
Jason Mantzoukas
This is when they've just entered the theater and they've all fallen into this syncopated thing. She's just learning it. Victoria.
Paul Scheer
But this is, like the most sexual. What is. This is the most sexual.
Jason Mantzoukas
Look how basic this is. This is. Cheer was better than this.
Paul Scheer
See? And they really seem like they're getting off on this moment. I feel like this is. I mean, are cats even sexual? I don't know, but here they are.
Jason Mantzoukas
I mean, what are you talking. Wait, wait, wait. I have a. This. That's a wild. That's a wild question. Are cats even sexual? Yes. The answer is just no. That's.
Paul Scheer
The answer is known. They are. Well, look, I think dogs.
June Diane Raphael
What you're saying, though, is like, yeah, you see dogs humping, like, whatever you see. You know, Rabbits are known as sexual creatures.
Paul Scheer
Cats are known as being.
June Diane Raphael
Seeing cats have sex with each other.
Jason Mantzoukas
But cats can be. But can't cats be, like, in heat? Isn't that the thing about cats.
June Diane Raphael
I know dogs can. I don't know that about. I don't know that about cats.
Jason Mantzoukas
I'm pretty sure cats get horny.
Paul Scheer
No, no, no. Because the stork brings the kittens. Right. That's the whole idea. The stork brings the kittens.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, Paul.
Jason Mantzoukas
Uh huh. Okay.
Paul Scheer
Right. Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas
We're gonna have to really unpack this.
Paul Scheer
There's like a little magical flank.
June Diane Raphael
It's weird because I actually. This is listening again. I know I want to mind my p's and q's, but I was surprised. I think of cats as female for whatever reason.
Paul Scheer
Okay, interesting.
June Diane Raphael
And I don't know if anyone else.
Jason Mantzoukas
And you think of dogs as male.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, I think.
Paul Scheer
You know what? I think I genderize them as well. That really? Yeah. Okay, interesting.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas
When it comes to animals, I don't see gender. They're all just animals, really.
June Diane Raphael
That's wonderful. I don't know why I do that.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't think you snow it more is dismissive of animals than anything else.
Paul Scheer
I don't see them as having souls.
June Diane Raphael
I just don't.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't.
June Diane Raphael
I was surprised to see male cats. Like, I actually, as I was watching this, had the thought, like, are there male cats? Of course there are.
Paul Scheer
Right.
June Diane Raphael
But I so think of cats as, you know, demure and like editorial in their choices and editorial.
Jason Mantzoukas
I mean, I will say so much.
June Diane Raphael
More like feminine to me.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. Cats have given me some of the best notes on scripts. I will say, in an editorial sense, they're very good.
Paul Scheer
Well, I mean, one of the cats, really smart cats. I mean, there's some. I mean, look, there's so much going on here. I think it's smart if we maybe go to the audience a little bit to kind of look at what they're saying, because I think we'll cover some of the things that we have. People have typed in the comments.
Jason Mantzoukas
Just very briefly, when we showed the picture of James Corden is. Is when we see James Corden first. Here's what. Can you pull up the James Corden image again, if possible?
Paul Scheer
Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas
When we see James Corden first, he's wearing this top hat, a waistcoat, he's wearing all of this stuff. Right. Then he leads them through a door and then they all help him take his clothes off. Which forces me, the viewer, to now think, I'm looking at a naked jack.
Paul Scheer
Yes, I felt that too.
Jason Mantzoukas
You've put that, this movie, put that into my mind. And I don't.
June Diane Raphael
And not only that, but like everybody Else is naked too.
Paul Scheer
Yes.
June Diane Raphael
Like, now I'm uncomfortable. Comfortable with what I'm seeing here.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, the boat. When the cat shows up in clothes, it just forces me to think everybody here is naked.
Paul Scheer
Here's a little moment.
Jason Mantzoukas
It's also weird when she unzips this.
June Diane Raphael
One bit, I don't look.
Jason Mantzoukas
Okay, now I want to pay close attention to the cake. That's scale. Like, that's the tea cozy and the.
June Diane Raphael
Cake scale is wrong, though.
Paul Scheer
Well, whoever. Whoever did scale does not understand. Stand it.
June Diane Raphael
They didn't. Because if that's a slice of cake, Jason, that cake would be. That slice of cake would be this big.
Jason Mantzoukas
I believe it is.
June Diane Raphael
Which would mean a cat would be enormous. Next.
Jason Mantzoukas
But it's the size of her legs. It's the height of her. Almost to her waist.
Paul Scheer
I feel like interviewed somebody.
June Diane Raphael
Not. That's my problem.
Paul Scheer
It's just.
June Diane Raphael
To her calf.
Paul Scheer
Yes. It's too big. And I believe. I believe what they did is I think they hired. I feel like they hired, like, someone who got fired from Lord of the Rings. Like, oh, wow, you know how to do. Yeah, you know how to do scale, right? And. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And got fired, like, the first week into Lord of the Rings.
Jason Mantzoukas
I need this movie in the bottom right hand corner to always have a key. So I understand in this scene, the cat is this big compared to a piece of cake. In this scene, compared to a piece of cake, a cat is this.
Paul Scheer
We can break it down. I mean, we should be breaking it down.
Jason Mantzoukas
Somebody should break. Because it is a wild. It's wildly bizarre to watch. These cats in some scenes feel like they are the size of human beings. They hold the space of human beings, and they seem to engage with each other the way human beings do and then have them dance around in sets that make them appear to be teeny, tiny house cats.
June Diane Raphael
Well, now, I'm actually. I'm actually wondering, like, what. What did you say? That's a tea cozy. What is that?
Jason Mantzoukas
That's what I assumed. It's with a cake. It's a knit thing. I assumed it was a tea cozy, but I don't know. Frank, do we have.
June Diane Raphael
Does tea cozy go around a teapot or does the tea cozy go. Okay, can you go back to that picture for a second?
Jason Mantzoukas
This picture is the Rosetta Stone for this movie.
Paul Scheer
All right, here we go.
Jason Mantzoukas
Please. Can we go back to the picture, please?
June Diane Raphael
Okay, so wait a second. That's a teapot.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't know, because I think the spout is right there in the front. If you can see right here. And it's a knit.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, my God, this is so wrong.
Paul Scheer
Wow. Right?
Jason Mantzoukas
I'm pointing. You can't see what I'm pointing at. But I believe this is like, because I think she's standing in front of a teacup and saucer.
Paul Scheer
This is actually more upsetting the more I'm staring at it, because first of all, she just. I mean, by the way, I think the reason why we're not noticing is because she just ripped off her cat skin to reveal her identical cat skin with, like a more flashy outfit on. And I gotta say, I'm looking at the size of the light switch behind her too. And I feel like that. Yeah, that's wrong too.
Jason Mantzoukas
Okay, so here's.
June Diane Raphael
She was standing here. She was sitting here on this live stream. If she was sitting here, that teapot, a teapot in a cozy would come up to her calves.
Jason Mantzoukas
And we haven't even. We haven't even spoken to the true insanity, which is if you look at her feet, she has just previously, she was not wearing any of this. She was just. Just fur cup covered in fur, which she unzips to reveal this. But what we see on the ground is her initial fur is lined with the purple material that she. Her outfit is made out of.
Paul Scheer
So she's wearing this around the house.
Jason Mantzoukas
So she's wearing a fake fur outfit that has a material lining so that she can take it off to reveal this outfit on top of her real fur. Right.
June Diane Raphael
Wait, wait a second. Hold on. What are those things? Are those hands that came out of. What are those things? I know you can't see what I'm pointing to.
Jason Mantzoukas
I believe those to be her hands. Yes, those are the hands. Those are the hands of the fur suit that she took off.
Paul Scheer
No, she has hand. Well, first of all, I want this. I want this sweatsuit. And by the way, June, I feel like if this was a sweatsuit made by Claire Vivier, you would wear this cat sweatsuit.
Jason Mantzoukas
Like, if there's a way that we can make these and sell them on Teepublic, let's please do it.
Paul Scheer
How did this get made? All needs to dress up as cats, by the way. Here, I want. I want to do another perspective thing. Here's the cats on the statue. Because this is another way of mind warping how big the statue is. Can we pull up that picture real quick of the cats?
Jason Mantzoukas
Also the. Okay, all right. This is not helpful.
Paul Scheer
All right, so this is another version. So this is a giant in London town. This is a Giant. It's just London in London Town, good old London Town, there is Prime Minister Alan Partridge. There is a. There. But. All right, so I don't understand, but the way they are in front of this statue, the statue is like, I don't even know how to describe.
Jason Mantzoukas
Which is, by the way, a cat. They're in front of a cat based statue.
Paul Scheer
Yeah. Molly, can you find out how big this cat is in real life? Molly, our super.
June Diane Raphael
Here's the thing.
Paul Scheer
Producer back there.
June Diane Raphael
Stay on this. Stay on this picture for a second, though, because I am. And listen, all bodies are beautiful, but it must have been in some ways, I think, if I had been in this movie. I wasn't asked, Obviously, I wasn't even.
Jason Mantzoukas
They begged me. They begged me.
June Diane Raphael
Nobody asked me to submit a tape.
Paul Scheer
Or I was supposed to be the guy who threw the cat, but I said, I was like, I want to put the real human being in a bag and throw that. And they're like, no, no, no. We're going to have a different perspective. I said, no, no. Put a human being in the bag and then I'll toss it. And then it was a disagreement.
June Diane Raphael
Here's the thing. It must have been freeing in a way to work on this movie because it's like if I were there, I'd just be eating up a storm. Because even when you're looking your best, like, even when you're keeping it right and tight, you still. Your body will look like shit. Like nobody. These costumes are so unforgiving.
Jason Mantzoukas
It is awful to look at, which is why I think some people. Which is why I think some of them were like, you gotta give me a coat. You gotta give me a coat.
June Diane Raphael
I would demand it.
Paul Scheer
I am talking now. We got some real stats on this cat. This cat, this statue in London is 20ft long and 22ft high. So now one of these characters is standing and is almost halfway to its beard. That cat is at least 10ft tall.
Jason Mantzoukas
No, you are wrong. Because look at where the camera is.
Paul Scheer
Okay?
Jason Mantzoukas
The camera is low and the person is close. The perspective is wrong, right?
Paul Scheer
Oh, no, I'm looking at the person behind that person.
June Diane Raphael
Even if you look up, up top at the cats that are sitting, they're.
Jason Mantzoukas
So small up there. Look at how little they are.
June Diane Raphael
But no, look, if you take. If you take your fingers to them and you measure, like, this is one. This right here, that's one cat. That's the size of one cat. Not even standing up. So the size of one cat standing up.
Paul Scheer
All right, so this is the land 22ft high, June.
Jason Mantzoukas
And we're on the ground. This is the land looking up 22ft.
Paul Scheer
This is the Landseer lion in Trafalgar Square. So this is a 20, 22ft high statue. We're trying to figure it out because we have to, have to remember.
Jason Mantzoukas
So the camera is the ground. We're looking up 22ft, which is basically two stories.
Paul Scheer
So that's.
Jason Mantzoukas
So those little cats up there. Compared to train, tap dancing cat. Why pants and no shirt? Everybody else, why suspenders, wearing tops? Why suspenders, tops and no pants?
June Diane Raphael
That's the thing. According to this scale that I'm looking at right now, and I am taking into consideration that the camera's on an ang. I'm looking up. But according to this scale, from what I'm seeing and what I can lay out and the legend I can make in my mind, these cats are minimum, minimum, five feet tall.
Paul Scheer
No, no, June, I agree with you. I'm on June's side.
Jason Mantzoukas
These cats.
Paul Scheer
What do people sing in the chat?
Jason Mantzoukas
This movie would have you believe that these cats are the size of ordinary house cat, period. That's what this movie is positing.
June Diane Raphael
I agree that it's positing that. But based on the actual scale of.
Jason Mantzoukas
This, let me be clear. The movie is unsuccessful on every level, including scale. But that's what they're trying to do. But I agree, it is unsuccessful. Yes. Oh, I'm not ever going to argue that this movie is successful on any level. Hard stop. Like, this is an unmitigated failure from start to finish. And it is wild to watch. Watch.
Paul Scheer
We are getting some responses in from the. From the audience here, and we're going to start going to their questions as well. But I want to see what they think about the size. Like how. How tall do you think in this movie is? How tall do you think?
June Diane Raphael
I think at least five feet. Let me just say, I think one of the thrilling things about the. I think one of the thrilling things about the live show from what I remember of those.
Paul Scheer
The Regis commercials.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah. And by the way.
Paul Scheer
Oh, look at this. Put that a little bit closer. June. This is a picture of June with Regis.
Jason Mantzoukas
Whoa. How is that available?
June Diane Raphael
So it's really weird that this is out. I just found it in this notebook that I was holding with my notes.
Jason Mantzoukas
Very weird.
June Diane Raphael
It is. It's a long story about why I tried to dig this up. And it was in this notebook, but Regis had a book out. This is what I mean. If you lived on Long Island, Paul, and I both grew up on Long Island. You loved Regis.
Paul Scheer
I worked out with Regis's trainer. I worked out with Regis's. The best.
June Diane Raphael
This man was the best.
Paul Scheer
The best.
June Diane Raphael
And when I was in eighth grade, I went. He was at the mall and I went to see him and get an autograph. I don't know why. I had both hands on his shoulder.
Paul Scheer
Is he wearing a Hawaiian shirt?
Jason Mantzoukas
Can I ask you, June, was he trying to get away?
June Diane Raphael
He does not.
Jason Mantzoukas
Was he trying to get away?
Paul Scheer
Junior is a.
Jason Mantzoukas
You're going to sit right here. You're gonna stay right here.
Paul Scheer
There is literally a security.
June Diane Raphael
Went to go see him, and he was lovely.
Paul Scheer
There is literally a security guard behind June right there. All right, so the chat is chiming in here. They're saying the cats and the lion's head are as large as his head. My name is Jamie is saying the cat on the head should be smaller than the lion's head. Snug says, I have climbed those lions. And the perspective is totally bleep, bleep, bleep here. This is a 5 foot tall cat. That's WTF. Says, I agree with June. Geostorm. Geostorm. Thurman says as a veterinarian, these cats are not to scale. That's a vet.
June Diane Raphael
Of course they're not.
Jason Mantzoukas
Wow. Okay, now listen, here's what I was.
June Diane Raphael
Going to say, though, from the commercials Paul and I saw growing up, part of the thrill of being in that audience of Cats was that from what I remember, Paul and the commercials on Regis, the cats came into the audience.
Paul Scheer
Yo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
June Diane Raphael
It was very much Cats came up to you and like, went down the aisle and like, like came at you and that was really. And like swiveled up on you.
Paul Scheer
Oh, I would love that. I would love to pet a cat.
June Diane Raphael
Like a human cat, sweaty cat.
Jason Mantzoukas
If a cat touched me, I think I'd throw myself off the balcony. I would be like, that's it. I want to make.
Paul Scheer
I want to start a Kickstarter to bring you to a Cats Live. Once the theater comes back, the first thing that you're going to do is see Cats live one on one.
June Diane Raphael
Cats has been closed for a few years now.
Paul Scheer
No. But I'm sure it's traveling around the country.
Jason Mantzoukas
The idea that Cats was for many years, one of the longest, was in fact the longest running Broadway show in history is, to me, mind scrambling because my assumption is this is a faithful adaptation of the songs contained within the play.
Paul Scheer
Yes. With one additional one.
Jason Mantzoukas
Okay.
June Diane Raphael
There is an additional song.
Paul Scheer
Yes. He wrote a new song for the actual movie. I will tell you, it's a little bit in my research here. This is not my cheating, but this.
Jason Mantzoukas
Is when the, like, it really was when I realized that each song was just another cat's introduction. And then those cats would then basically leave. You know, that each thing was a lateral move, not forwarding the plot at all. And the Victoria is Cynthia Erivo, right? Yes. That for her, she is just like everywhere she looks, someone's pulling her in a different direction. I couldn't tell. What did she want? Like, what did anybody want, by the way, other than to win the ball and become something else?
Paul Scheer
Well, here's what I think. I think that, that, that why I'm calling her Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Hudson. Jennifer Hudson, I think, is a sex worker cat. Right. And I feel like McAvity is kind of abusing her. And I. That's how I kind of viewed her. And so it's sort of like Judi Dench saw her. And it's like, you deserve to have a new fresh start because you have been forced into the sex work against your will. And now I'm going to give you a fresh life. You can live in a house like Rebel Wilson lives in, and you can teach the mice to have a band. Like, I felt like that's what I was getting.
June Diane Raphael
Where does she go at the end?
Paul Scheer
She goes in that balloon to a new world or maybe to heaven.
Jason Mantzoukas
Does she die cats, too? Is this about nine lives? Is this about cats having nine lives?
Paul Scheer
Oh, people say she dies.
June Diane Raphael
Well, yeah, I thought too, that she dies. Like she.
Paul Scheer
So it's like that's. That's the great relief. The great relief is they have nine. They have nine lives. Like, oh, wow, they go to cat heaven.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah. Come back eventually, I think.
Jason Mantzoukas
I'm sorry. So that they all compete in a contest once a year, and the best one gets to die. I get it. If I was living in this cat world, I'd be like, get me out of here. Good, I'm ready to go. What do I got to do?
June Diane Raphael
That chandelier and send me up.
Paul Scheer
Let's get to the questions here from the crowd because we have a lot of great questions lined up here. We're going to pop them on the screen. Steve Sheppy asks, what kind of fur are the cats fur coats made out of? This is interesting because the fur here.
Jason Mantzoukas
That, as I already said it, I think that's got to be dead cats.
June Diane Raphael
So here's. Here's my question. What. What part of their costumes do you think is cgi. Obviously, they're taking out genitalia, but sometimes I thought they weren't because there are times where the male cats are just sort of in shadows down there.
Jason Mantzoukas
Well, I'm guessing my. You know, just like in my kind of. If. If I'm thinking practically in terms of making this movie, my guess is everybody is wearing, like, a green screen jumpsuit.
Paul Scheer
No, I think they're.
Jason Mantzoukas
I think they're wearing is cg.
Paul Scheer
I think they're wearing actually a little bit of cat furniture. By the way, look at this. I mean, because I think.
Jason Mantzoukas
I think. I think head wise, I think their makeup is done, but I think everything below the neck is cg.
Paul Scheer
I was on set. I was on the set of a very big Marvel film and I met Robert Downey Jr. For the second time in my life. And. And he. His iron.
Jason Mantzoukas
Can you produce a picture?
June Diane Raphael
Do you want to tell the story about the first time?
Paul Scheer
No, I don't know because I feel like. No, the. I. But when I saw what his Iron man costume was, I was shocked. The man is in essentially, like a beautifully comfortable black outfit with like, one little, like, giant necklace that looks like the Iron man shield in front. Like, there's no costume on him. So maybe you're right, Jason. Maybe there is.
Jason Mantzoukas
I think, because I. My thinking is, and this is. This is why I think that it would have been difficult. Like, I think they purposefully designed these cats to not have genitalia, you know, and the butthole cut is a whole thing. And we can talk about that. But I think. I think in all likelihood, and maybe I'll be proven wrong and maybe the boards are going bananas right now. But my. I suspect they did makeup on their faces and otherwise everything else is green screen. Everything else is.
June Diane Raphael
Okay, if that case. If that's the case, then this photo, then if I were this cat, the white cat, Victoria, I would find the CGI person, right? And shoot them. Because they did her so dirty, they made everybody's body look like human bodies.
Jason Mantzoukas
I agree.
June Diane Raphael
Unflattering.
Jason Mantzoukas
Sexless. Sexless. Just sexless human body.
Paul Scheer
Just so you understand. Apparently this article in the Daily Beast that came out in 2020, it took six months to produce the two minute trailer, and then they were only given four months to make the entire film. So the special effects took six months for the trailer and only four to do the. In two minutes versus, like, almost two hours. Yeah, they were spending 90 before that, too. 90 hour work weeks. 90 hour work weeks sleeping under their desks to get the film Done so much so. And I think we've heard they rush it to Christmas. Yeah, they rush it to Christmas. And. And, like, they left things in. Like, Judi Dench has a wedding ring in at one scene. And. And then, like. And then they had to, like, switch it out. Like, she doesn't have a paw. She has a regular hand.
Jason Mantzoukas
And Ian McKellen is. Is wearing Gandalf's hat in one scene.
Paul Scheer
They basically, like, they were trying to get it out so quickly, and then they sent, like, other. Like, they sent updated cuts to movie theaters being like, replace it. Replace it with this one. It's crazy.
June Diane Raphael
I'm remembering this, you know, like, all the.
Jason Mantzoukas
Because to me, all the tales are digital.
June Diane Raphael
All.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't think they're wearing much of anything, Frank. I mean, maybe. Maybe in moments they are, but I really think. I suspect everything is fucking nonsense.
June Diane Raphael
I mean, listen, it's interesting to see, like, what happens to a face, like a human face when you lose ears, you know, I didn't know they were as. I didn't know they were as.
Paul Scheer
Yeah, I thought the tails were disgusting. The tails felt like dicks to me, and it made me gross every single time.
Jason Mantzoukas
Not just ears, but also eyebrows. To take eyebrows away from eyes makes them very difficult to read meaning into expressions. And what I would say is throughout this movie, with the exception again of Jennifer Hudson, the. There is no emotionality in any of the cats because they've taken away all of our expressive elements, our foreheads, our eyebrows, all of the things surrounding our eyes to clue us into what people are thinking or feeling, by the way. So what we're left with is these smoothed out, weird cat faces and lyrics that are emotionally zero. They're nothing.
Paul Scheer
Well, let's take a look at what some pre CGI cats look like. Here we go. This is pre cgi. Oh, wow, you're right. So they were wearing no fur at all. They're just in green screen suits. Ian McKellen is wearing.
Jason Mantzoukas
I tell you. Yes.
Paul Scheer
Wow. Ian McKellen's wearing his jacket, of course. But yeah, they have nothing. Wow. I'm now kind of impressed. Yeah, they're in big fat suits and all that sort of stuff, but no.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Paul Scheer
Wow.
Jason Mantzoukas
Andrew Lloyd Webber with his Starbucks. Come on. Look at that. That's what they had to wear. That's if someone said, hey, come be in my movie. This is what you have to wear. Immediate hard pass. Just kidding. Please put me in a movie with one of those. But I mean, look at this.
Paul Scheer
I mean, you know, What? And I'm gonna say, this is why they all did this really well, because they didn't know what it was gonna look like, and they felt like, oh, it's gonna look great. And I think this is how you get people done dirty, because you go like, oh, we'll look great afterwards. And it doesn't. And they. And it looks almost more silly. Oh, look at this.
Jason Mantzoukas
You know that if you were on this set, you would be like, oh, no. What. What is going to happen?
June Diane Raphael
Maybe, maybe not. I mean, it's.
Jason Mantzoukas
Okay. I just. Can I pause for one second?
Paul Scheer
Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas
She's standing in front of bar stools. That's the scale.
Paul Scheer
Oh, you're right. Because her head is touching the top of the bar stool. But even at that point, that's still. If a cat. If. If a cat was Head was touching the top of bar stool, that's like a.
Jason Mantzoukas
On its hind legs. On its hind legs.
June Diane Raphael
If a cat was on its hind legs standing up.
Jason Mantzoukas
If a cat was to stand all the way up, I think a cat would be.
Paul Scheer
You're probably right.
Jason Mantzoukas
We were wrong. I don't think it's. I don't think it's right. I'm not saying it's exact, but that's what they're trying to tell us. You know, that that's a cat on its hind feet and that's a bar stool. I mean, what's. What's happening when we leave. When we leave this tonight? When we click leave meeting tonight, I'm going to be alone in my house, as I have been for seven months, with only the nightmarish visuals that I have been forced to consume for you. For you 10,000 assholes out there.
Paul Scheer
Fuck you. Let's get some more questions in here. Let's see what else we got here. This is a good one. Coming up, Mittens Moyer asks Boobs why both my cats are female and they don't have boobs. Great question.
Jason Mantzoukas
You're right.
Paul Scheer
We did talk about this a little bit. But they kept the boobs and they took out the genitalia. Why?
Jason Mantzoukas
What's weird is, wouldn't they have six boobs? Wouldn't they have. No.
Paul Scheer
Like.
Jason Mantzoukas
A cat has, like, a bunch of nipples, right?
Paul Scheer
Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas
So why aren't.
June Diane Raphael
Why don't. I don't know.
Jason Mantzoukas
Why don't. Why doesn't Judi Dench have, like, six nipples going on? Why doesn't anybody have nipples? Where are the. Where are the nipples? Where are the nipples? Never mind the butthole cut. Where's the nipple cut?
June Diane Raphael
But the problem with the nipples is because the cats are upright. So much of the time, we would be staring at six nipples. At multiple nipples.
Jason Mantzoukas
You'd be staring at nipples constantly.
June Diane Raphael
Constantly. And they couldn't do that.
Paul Scheer
Here's the thing.
June Diane Raphael
I blame them for a lot. I don't blame them for that. It was. I mean, I know we touched on this at the beginning, but it was to surprisingly gross. Like seeing those tails move independently of the cats. You know, seeing that the cats move this way and then the tails move that way. It was.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't like it.
Paul Scheer
All right, next question.
Jason Mantzoukas
I will say I didn't like any of the feline movement. I didn't like. It's. Listen, here's an example, right? I know.
June Diane Raphael
Are you a person, Jason?
Jason Mantzoukas
I'm not. I'm more of a dog person than a cat person. I don't.
Paul Scheer
I don't.
Jason Mantzoukas
If somebody has a cat, I don't mind it. You know what I mean? But I'm. I'm. I'm not a cat per. I'm not an animal person, if I'm being honest.
Paul Scheer
Wait, I thought you like dogs.
Jason Mantzoukas
I do.
June Diane Raphael
I love person.
Paul Scheer
Yeah. Look at this. Look at this person. You look at this. This is going to be a great.
Jason Mantzoukas
Here's my dead dog. Here's my dead dog.
Paul Scheer
Turkey. The dog Turkey.
Jason Mantzoukas
So cute.
June Diane Raphael
What a beautiful baby.
Jason Mantzoukas
But I. I will say. I will say that, like, I can wrap my head around and fully enjoy. I know I said I don't like musicals. I can fully enjoy Singing in the Rain.
Paul Scheer
Right? What an incredible, beautiful, beautiful movie.
Jason Mantzoukas
What a beautiful, incredible movie. Like something where the song and dance really enhances the movie and enhances the story and helps illustrate character. All this stuff. Great. Love it. Okay. These cats dancing around is not exceptional dancing. It's not interesting movement. The feline movements are jarring and uncomfortable to watch human beings writhe around on the ground. It looks. June. Like what you're doing, which is. It looks like an acting exercise.
Paul Scheer
It is an acting exercise. This is clown class. Next question. Katie asked for Jason, in your expert opinion, which cat was the sexiest? Is a good question here.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, without a doubt. Dame Judy Dench, period.
Paul Scheer
Okay. Yeah. You know what?
June Diane Raphael
I actually, actually thought Mr. Mustaf. What's his name again?
Paul Scheer
Mistopheles. Yeah. Yeah.
June Diane Raphael
He was a pretty sexy cat.
Paul Scheer
Really? I thought he was the one that's the least sexy because he's wearing all that magician outfits. All right. Interesting.
Jason Mantzoukas
I thought. I thought. I know. I mean, I thought, like, I didn't think here's the reality. I didn't think any of them were really that sexy. I think the movie. The movie. I think many of the actors in this movie are sexy people. I think Jason Derulo is sexy. I think Cynthia Erivo is sexy. I think Taylor Swift is. I think these are sexy people, but this movie doesn't help them at all. I think Jennifer Hudson, I mean, I mean, I don't think these are unsexy people. You know, I'm just saying the movie.
June Diane Raphael
Listen, I think the male cats are sexier than the female cats.
Paul Scheer
I agree. Their bodies work better for it. Yes.
June Diane Raphael
Is that. Yes. Their bodies, their shapes work better as cats. And. And the sexy translate better into cats.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't disagree. I don't disagree. But. So none of them. The answer is none of them really landed as sexy.
Paul Scheer
I want to end our audience question part with an observation that Dirty Flamingo made. Can we pull up this thing? Not a question, but an observation. The suits are green and the screens behind them are green. That would be impossible to key. The CGI team must have remade their whole bodies from. I think from scratch is what they wrote. But yeah, if you look at that, that is. That point is so smart. They're in green screen. On green screen.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yep.
Paul Scheer
Oh boy. This movie was doomed to begin with.
Jason Mantzoukas
This movie, I mean, they look like.
June Diane Raphael
They'Re having a hell of a time.
Jason Mantzoukas
I really want there to be a documentary about what a nightmare it was to make this movie. Yes, because it must have been.
Paul Scheer
But by the way, we've been. Look, I think we've been unfairly, kind of like ragging on this movie and I don't know if we actually know like what the true intent will ever be. But it is now time for a second opinion. And we have now gone to you, our amazing audience, to sing some second opinion songs. So without any further ado, enjoy you introducing this segment.
June Diane Raphael
I don't trust Tom Hooper.
Paul Scheer
Taylor Swift.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, can't you see?
Paul Scheer
You're the actress starring in my bad dreams.
June Diane Raphael
Second opinion.
Paul Scheer
Some of them are out of hand if you're a genius or a roller coaster made of rubber bands. Oh, this movie isn't good memory.
Jason Mantzoukas
Want to erase all my memories of this terrible movie? It was truly so wrong. But if you click on over to.
June Diane Raphael
Amazon, you'll find a second opinion.
Paul Scheer
All right, those are. Those are some amazing second opinion songs. And by the way, brief, we never get that when we do the show live. These are five star reviews cold from Amazon.com. there are 6, 984 reviews of this film and this has about a 3.3 out of five stars. There are 40% of them are five star reviews. But while some of them are cheeky, they still express some very genuine love for the movie. So. And by the way, this is from Nate. Nate Kylie, one of our great researchers, friend of the show, worker of the show. We love Nate. He says, look, Paul, there are some furries reviewing this movie. So here we go. I can see that.
Jason Mantzoukas
Makes sense.
Paul Scheer
Yeah, makes sense. Yeah. Let's see here. All right, this is from Daniel B. Lyle. Despite its PG rating, there's a lot of T and E in this movie. Tails and ears. An additional major character throughout the magical journey is the T and E. The tails move along like the amazing dancing and cat like, while marvelous ears twitch and shift and they're totally lifelike. I liked it. I'm watching it many times over. Five stars. So that this review was titled delightfully Magical T and E. This one from Michael. This one is the Journey is the Reward. At its core, it's a wistful story of the naivete of youth, the melancholy of aging and the self imposed damnation of regret, the blessing of friendship and the nobility of sacrifice. Because in the end, all we're left with is our memories. Five stars. The movie is the show. Wow, that's pretty deep. Yeah, pretty deep. And then this is a very long review which I'm going to kind of compact down from Sins Bin Po. Sins Bin Po writes this. Tom Hooper and the entire cast and crew of Cats should be very, very proud of what they have achieved. I wish Growl Tiger's Last Stand, including the ballot ballad of Billy McCaw would have been more thoroughly included, albeit in a reworked manner to remove its offensive elements. But as it is, I don't know what the offensive element that's in regards Growl Tiger's Last Stand or the ballad of Billy McCaws. I am thrilled with my purchase. An ardent fan of this film, I'll be watching it over and over again. One element about Cats I feel is important for viewers to know yet is not really stressed enough, in my honest opinion. Do you have young grandchildren that you don't get to visit quite enough? Do you have nieces and nephews that are growing up quicker than expected and you find yourself wondering, will they think kindly of you in the future since you don't have the time to spend with them? Well, how could you handle this? Well, T.S. eliot created the character situations and poems for his cats for this very reason. He was a grandfather who wasn't able to see his grandchildren often enough to suit himself. And. And he created this elaborate world as a bonding mechanism which they could all enjoy each other's company from afar. Imagine the joy they must have felt, the anticipation for each substance.
June Diane Raphael
Are there cats in this?
Jason Mantzoukas
Imagine. Imagine the horror. Imagine the horror they felt when their grandfather sent them these stories. Imagine what nightmares they must have produced.
Paul Scheer
It goes the anticipation for each subsequent letter as the story unfurled itself and each character was born. I for one think it's a beautiful gesture. T.S. eliot, despite his faults, must have been an amazing grand space father. That is a five star review right there. Wow.
Jason Mantzoukas
If I had grandkids. If I had grandkids, without a doubt, I would rather read to them from Stephen King's it than show them this movie like I am.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, this is haunting.
Jason Mantzoukas
This is. This would fuck me up if I saw this at a young age.
June Diane Raphael
Oh God, yes.
Jason Mantzoukas
This would really.
Paul Scheer
Oh yeah. This is. I mean I want to read the letters now. I guess I'm gonna have to get that book and read it to our children. June. So don't say I can't. Mrs. G writes this and I think this is kind of a slam G.
Jason Mantzoukas
From life, from the facts of life. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both.
June Diane Raphael
You can sing.
Jason Mantzoukas
That's talk singing. That's not real singing.
Paul Scheer
This is the title of this is called enjoyable entertainment which is kind of the most base thing you could say about entertainment says Idris Elba as McAvity could have stolen the show but he didn't. He held back and fit in perfectly well with the rest of the cast. No one was overshadowed anyone else and the storyline altered a little to make the movie easier to understand. 5 stars easier to understand. And also like you're saying, like I love the idea that strong disagree and finally I'll just end on this last one from Casey which is. I just. I'm not going to read the whole review. Casey Wilson.
Jason Mantzoukas
I wish her friend Casey Wilson.
Paul Scheer
It just says this one must approach this movie.
Jason Mantzoukas
She's writing five star reviews under her own name.
Paul Scheer
She's written a lot of them. I mean look says she was one must approach this movie with an open mind. Think of it as Casey. Think of it as looking at a Jackson Pollock. It's messy, it's horrible, it's intense. But boldly confident. And then it's describes.
June Diane Raphael
This does sound like Casey and I actually agree with her. This movie takes a swing and maybe it's unfinished. Like maybe they needed more time but it does take a swing. And that's the thing that I did appreciate about it.
Paul Scheer
I agree. I'm all in for bold swings. That's why I enjoyed this movie. And Casey just said this one thing that I've never heard. I'm going to embrace this as something I'm going to say a lot. It was like being on a roller coaster made of rubber bands. And that, to me, really feels like five stars. That feels to me like the perfect description of this movie. A roller coaster of rubber bands. Holy cow. Well, we've really. I mean, we've dissected a lot of this film. And I think before we kind of wrap up with our final thoughts, there might be one person out there who has a couple of thoughts. And I would love to throw this over to this one person who has just wants to kind of engage us with this. So take a look.
Seth Rogen
Hi, Jason, Paul and June. I miss you all very much. Sad, but this is as close as I'm getting you. It looks like I'm going to talk about cats for a moment. I watched and tweeted about as I was watching it and was, quite frankly, just shocked by. It was a weird film.
Paul Scheer
And.
Seth Rogen
Yeah, there was a lot to process. I think the thing that was maybe the most consistently weird thing was, is the scale of the movie. The scale is weird. And I did research online, and it told me that the sets were built to a 2.5 scale, which means that the cats would weigh around. That means a cat's like, 60 pounds. And, all right, I dropped out of high school. I'm not good at math, but it's. It's bigger than a fucking cat, and I don't know what a jellicle is. That was insane. Having not seen the Broadway musical, it was objectively crazy. And also, like, I've always thought, like, Broadway musicals are not funny, but, like, when you go see them on Broadway, everyone's laughing. And I'm always thinking, like, if this was a movie, no one would be laughing at this. And this is a very good example of why that is a correct thought for me to have. Individual effects are weird. And the other thing I learned after tweeting it is that all these cats had buttholes. And it was very, very close to the release of the film that they got rid of the buttholes. So some way there was an entire cut of the film with where all these cats have buttholes. Cat buttholes. And if you watch the movie through that lens, it's, again, even crazier. The pants logic is wildly Inconsistent. The clothes logic is inconsistent. Judi Dent is wearing a fur coat at one point, which is crazy because that'd be like wearing a human flesh coat in our world.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yes, agreed.
Seth Rogen
Yeah. They all went to cat school. That's the other thing.
Jason Mantzoukas
That's nuts.
Seth Rogen
They went to cat school for like weeks to act like fucking cats. I would have quit this film if the director asked me to go to cat school.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, my God.
Seth Rogen
I miss you all.
June Diane Raphael
Oh, my God.
Seth Rogen
I've been enjoying the show. Thank you for getting me through these dark.
Paul Scheer
I love it. We had to get Seth in here. We had to get Seth in here to chat about it.
Jason Mantzoukas
I mean, like. And really, it's really bringing up a lot of the salient points that we have highlighted.
Paul Scheer
I mean, everyone.
Jason Mantzoukas
The coats, the scale, all of it, you know, like, none of it makes sense. The rules are.
June Diane Raphael
Wait, am I to understand from Seth's video?
Paul Scheer
By the way, this is what the chat is saying right now.
June Diane Raphael
To see Seth's. Seth's face. But am I to understand? Okay, team scale. So did he say when it's two and a half to scale. So the cats are 60 pounds each.
Paul Scheer
Yeah. So he's so.
June Diane Raphael
I know. Like our dog, Meatball, I was gonna say that's on screen, by the way.
Paul Scheer
Yeah, we got our dog. Can you get him on screen? I mean, I don't want to mess up.
June Diane Raphael
Meatball is. Let me see if I can get a shot of him. Well, it's going to be a little hard because I'm all like attached to wires, but our dog is £90. He's enormous. And to the point where people see him on the streets and stop because they're.
Paul Scheer
He's a big dog.
June Diane Raphael
Stunned by what they're seeing.
Jason Mantzoukas
I feel like this, a 60 pound cat would be like a panther. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like that's a 60 pound cat.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah, that's a 90 pound dog that's on my lap in that photo.
Jason Mantzoukas
Like a cheetah or a panther. Like a jungle cat or a. You know what I mean? Like that a wild cat is probably £60.
Paul Scheer
Yeah, that's a. That, like I look, I mean, a cat like that. I'm glad that Seth did the research that we couldn't quite put together.
June Diane Raphael
That's really important.
Jason Mantzoukas
He see, I love that there was like, he seemed haunted. He seemed haunted by the memory of having watched this movie.
June Diane Raphael
And I feel like he watched it a while ago and it seemed. And it seemed so alive. Total recall. And it seems so alive for him.
Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. Oh. Because it probably.
June Diane Raphael
My zoom light just went out. I'm so sorry. I know I look like a monster now.
Paul Scheer
You look beautiful.
Jason Mantzoukas
Here we go.
June Diane Raphael
I know. Just lost half the audience because my zoom. My ring light went out.
Paul Scheer
Well, let me ask you this. Would we recommend this movie? Jason, would you recommend the film?
Jason Mantzoukas
No. Do not watch this movie. Don't watch this movie. Or if you really need to, like you. You. Here's what I will say. You can fast forward. You can fast forward because the. Most of the songs are repetitive and the choreography is bad. The movie, you're not missing plot points because there aren't any. So if you want to see what's up because you're like, I don't know, it's. I want to see what this craziness is about, go ahead. But it is nearly two hours long. It should be no minutes long. It is. It is unpleasant to watch. It is unsettling. It will haunt my dreams. I don't want to be left alone in this house with my purchase of Cats for fear that it will turn itself on without me wanting it to be on. Like, I don't know what to do with this existence.
June Diane Raphael
We are in spooky season right now, Jason.
Jason Mantzoukas
I don't have the emotional capacity right now. Now I don't have the emotional capacity to have watched Cats.
June Diane Raphael
Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas
Really? This is a hard time.
Paul Scheer
Oh, my gosh. All right. So, June, would you recommend this movie?
June Diane Raphael
I actually would, and mainly because I'm so upset. I look so much better without this fucking ring light on, Paul. I'm never again.
Paul Scheer
Well, I think that you understand how the ring lights work. I didn't know. I was trying to help.
June Diane Raphael
Way too bright.
Jason Mantzoukas
Do you want me to turn my lights off?
June Diane Raphael
No. Everybody else looks great. And now I'm seeing that. I should have tested some lighting here before it sat down.
Paul Scheer
I tried to do my best.
June Diane Raphael
I know you did. Thank you. So I would. Only for Jennifer Hudson's rendition of Memories Memory. Because I. Yes, because she really did something else. And she did what she had to do. And I thought it was wonderful. Again, I listened to it three times and then sang it myself. So just for that number alone, I would watch it. I thought it was. I thought that was just great.
Paul Scheer
Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas
And I agree. I agree with you 100%. I think we all agree her performance is the only performance in the movie that is even close to working. And it's wonderful.
Paul Scheer
I will say this. We watch so many movies on this show, and very rarely do we find something that is so uniquely like this goes in to me, the pantheon of the Miami connections, the rooms and that. Because it's not as enjoyable as those. Absolutely not. But it's as mind boggling. I think you and I, June, looked at each other so many times like, what are we watching? Like, what are we watching? This is of. And unfortunately, right now we're in a time where we can't go see publicly. I know the Alamo Drafthouse had these like rowdy screenings that apparently are so much fun. That is how you should see this movie with people. You need to look and embrace it. I mean, there is something on screen that is worthy of. Stop. Hold on. Yeah, you got to get your eyeballs on. I highly recommend it. It's on HBO Max now by the time you're listening to this. So why not enjoy a night, a beverage of choice, whatever. You want to take a pill of choice, or if you just want to watch it straight, it's fine. We watch it straight. A pill. Take a pill.
Jason Mantzoukas
Give me. Give me that pill.
Paul Scheer
Get that pill.
Jason Mantzoukas
Give me that pill.
Paul Scheer
Take that Matrix pill. Well, Jason and June, this has been so much fun doing our first virtual show. Thank you to our amazing audience. I want to talk about a couple things before you kind of wrap it up, but I first just want to thank our amazing team behind the scenes, everybody at on location live. They really helped us so much get this thing together and convince us this was something that was great to do. But. But the team that is so close to my heart is the team that produces the show every single week. And that is our amazing producer, Cody Fisher. Just awesome. We love Cody. Our sound engineer, Devin, who's gonna have a hell of a time putting this together as always, but is a master. And Molly Reynolds. Amazing, amazing job. A big shout out to Nate Kiley does all of our research. The ghost of Craig T. Nelson, who does some of our amazing animations. And so Kyle Waldron does amazing animations as well. Well, we have so many great people. I've already talked about Avril Halle and how great she is. But now I just want to draw our attention to two quick things. Number one, there's a special episode of how did this get made? That is available right now. You can't only. You can only hear it by downloading it. All the money is going to. When we all vote, you go to hdtgm.com all the money is going there right now. It's a special episode where we do the Transformers films and we actually talk to the people who terrorized us. By sending us over 100 copies of that film in the last two years. Anything else that you all want to plug? I'm wearing a hat that says vote. And if you're in the States, here's. I'll say that. Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas
Here's what I'm going to say. Having now just watched Cats, our friend from comedy, Brett Gelman did a stage show for a long time called 1000 Cats that I believe exists online because he shot it for Funny or Die.
June Diane Raphael
Oh my God.
Jason Mantzoukas
So I think there is somewhere like a 20 minute cut.
Paul Scheer
Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas
Of it cut together. And it is, it is Brett Gelman and it's Brett doing it. Is brilliant. And he. It's basically what this movie, which I didn't realize. It's a savage commentary on this because him I'm so introducing. It's a one man show where he introduces 1000 cat names.
Paul Scheer
It's amazing.
Jason Mantzoukas
Baby cats. Meow Goo Goo. Gaga Baby Cats. I'm cat number one. I'm cat. It's all musical theater tropes. It's all cat tropes. It's really very funny. I'm sure it exists.
Paul Scheer
Yes. Somewhere. 1,000 cats. I just typed it in online. You can see it. It's on Funny or Die presents on hbo. But you can watch it right here. It's. It's. You can see it online. It's one of the most amazing things. So, so good.
Jason Mantzoukas
One of the greatest. One of the greatest things I've ever seen happen both live. And we, we. We've all done the Telluride Comedy Festival before. And one year Brett Gelman came and did 1000 cats in Telluride and the audience revolted against him.
June Diane Raphael
The audience of like listen, I love.
Jason Mantzoukas
Wealthy Tellurideans was like, no, they were not quite prepared.
June Diane Raphael
Is in a unitar black unitard that's like. It's like a woman's unitard. Like a dance leotard where sort of like half of his shoulders. A real scoop neck. I mean I'll never forget the image of him in that.
Jason Mantzoukas
It is black leotard. And this is 22nd Street UCB. So this is probably 1999. Yeah, I remember that he did it. And I was like, it is a. An incredible show. So very much worth. I'm glad you where you said it's.
Paul Scheer
It's somewhere if you type in 1,000 cats online.
Jason Mantzoukas
Oh great.
Paul Scheer
And you can kind of find it to see that.
June Diane Raphael
And it's interesting because 1,000 cats, like I remember, I love that show so much.
Jason Mantzoukas
And we are the Robot cats. I mean, I remember lines from it.
June Diane Raphael
It's so good. And it has what this movie does not, which is also just a sense of joy.
Jason Mantzoukas
Joy.
June Diane Raphael
There's nothing joyful about this film. And that's one of the reasons why I actually do love musicals because I find them to be joy filled. And this film, there's not an ounce of joy in any of the numbers. It is really actually quite depressing to be with these cats. I mean, I never knew what was going on with the cats but to be with them in the dark, grim London streets at night was very quite depressing.
Jason Mantzoukas
While they. While they're basically chasing the dream of death, you know what I mean?
June Diane Raphael
Like that's the story.
Jason Mantzoukas
The story of the play appears to be compete for the right to die.
Paul Scheer
Get us out of this horrible, horrible existence in which they seem to have the run of the land. But that's neither here nor there.
June Diane Raphael
Now I'm like, what are these cats know that we don't? I mean, I don't know. I'm getting. I want to. Honestly, I want to stop talking about this.
Paul Scheer
I wanted to give a shout out to our. A friend of the show, Kate Ward who recently just had a. Basically had Covid and had a. Really is recovering right now and is just a friend and a fan of the show and we is here tonight. So thank you, Kate. I'm glad that you are feeling better and we are just sending a send you a lot of love.
Jason Mantzoukas
Please wear a mask. Everybody. Please wear a mask.
Paul Scheer
Please wear mask. That brings us to the end of our live show. A big thank you to Paul F. Tompkins as Andrew Led Weber and Seth Rogen for calling in with his second opinion. People, if you like this live show, we had so much fun doing it. We're coming back in December to do two back to back live shows. That's right, two live shows, two different movies on December 11th and December 18th. Each show is only 15, but if you buy a ticket for both, it is only $25. Two amazing Christmas movies we'll be talking about. One with Melissa Joan Hart as a baker so we're bringing her back into the Christmas mix. And another one with Vanessa Hudgens who falls in love with a Christmas night. Yeah, it's going to be a lot of Fun. Go to hdtgm.com to find out more information about both of those shows. And I just want to let you all know that if you buy a ticket for the show and you can't somehow make the live performance, it is available for you to watch for 48 hours after the live show. So you have all weekend to catch up and watch a show if you can't make it live. Although we love having you live because we take your questions, we do fun stuff with the audience and like always, we cut out a little bit of the show. Now I know we talked a lot about musicals today, but if you like documentaries, well, you're in luck. I directed a brand new documentary for Disney all about the obscure characters in the Marvel universe. Now you don't have to be a fan of Marvel. You don't have to know any anything about comic books. You just have to like interesting stories. And this documentary series where there are eight new documentaries all on Disney plus under the title Marvel616. I directed the one called Lost and Found. It has Jon Hamm and Nicole Byer, Rachel Bloom, Jack McBrayer and so many more. Plus some of your favorite comic book creators like Reggie Hudlin and Donny Cates and Jerry Duggan. It's really, really fun. I had such a great time getting going deep basically into the world of Marvel and having all those people help me launch a brand new Marvel franchise. Checking out on Disney Marvel 616 my episode lost and Found. And just a reminder, you can always follow me on Twitch. I'm just Twitch tv. Paul Shear, Rob Hubel and I host a show every single Thursday. It is so much fun. Jason has been a part of it. June has been a part of it. You will see us popping up and we're going to be doing some other fun things after Thanksgiving and into the holidays. So keep your eye out on that if you want to weigh in on this show and I really do want you to weigh in on the show. Please, please, please do tell us what you think about this episode by joining our mini episode. Or you could just talk to me about your weird family at Thanksgiving. Give me a call at 619p a u l a s k. That's 619. Paul asks. You could talk about anything and everything about Cats or your life or your job or being stuck at home in quarantine. I am there for you. Let's do this people. And a big giant. Thanks to everyone behind the scenes who puts this show together. I'm talking about our super producer, Cody Fisher, who organized this entire thing. Molly Reynolds, who is working diligently behind the SC to make sure all the clips and everything went off without a hitch on our first very live virtual show. Of course, Devin Bryant, our engineer supreme who makes this all sound good. Even when June was talking into an iPhone like microphone. It was very bizarre and a huge shout out to our producer Averill Halle who picks all of our movies. I mean this is a no brainer but she is absolutely amazing because not only did she pick our movie, she picks our amazing clips. And Nick Kiley for his great research. I mean on this one there was so much. He did a bang up job as always. A big tip of the hat to Zach McAlise and of course Kyle Waldron who do some of our amazing art which you can find on our Facebook and Instagram page and why I'm talking about that. Please remember to rate and review the show. We need it. We love it. It helps other people find the show. Keep on telling people about the show. If you liked our live show, tell other people about it. We love doing it. We are so excited to spend some more time with you live virtually in December. Anyway, people sign up for our mailing list. Stay on top of everything and we will see you next week. The first ever Kia K4 seamlessly combines bold style and advanced tech. With striking star map, LED headlights and an available panoramic display, the Kia K4 delivers design and function. The available Surround, Surround view and Blind Spot View monitors can help provide added confidence. Plus SiriusXM comes standard, bringing you closer to what you love. The Kia K4 balances aesthetics and innovation. Learn more at kia.com K4 surround view and blind Spot View monitors may not detect all objects around or behind the vehicle.
Jason Mantzoukas
The kind of burgers you get today tells you a lot about yourself. You're either someone who settles for sad, same old same old burgers or you're at a Carl's Jr obsessed with a tangy OG Western bacon cheeseburger demanding a house made guacamole, loaded guac bacon fired up for the insanely hot El Diablo or craving a classic Charbo Famous Star. Give into your flavor cravings. Do your mouth to Carl's Jr.
Paul Scheer
Good Burger.
How Did This Get Made? – Matinee Monday: Cats (Release Date: November 18, 2024)
In this episode of "How Did This Get Made?", hosts Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, and Jason Mantzoukas dive deep into the notorious adaptation of the Broadway musical "Cats." The discussion is filled with humor, bafflement, and sharp critiques as the trio dissects what they perceive as one of the most bewildering cinematic endeavors.
The episode kicks off with palpable frustration and disbelief surrounding the "Cats" movie adaptation. Both Paul and Jason express immediate discomfort with the film's premise and execution.
Paul Scheer [08:06]: "It is definitely an assault on all the senses. And I'm saying that in taste and smell, which this movie does not necessarily have, but my senses felt assaulted."
Jason Mantzoukas [07:42]: "I don't have the emotional capacity to have just watched Cats. This is an act of aggression."
Their initial sentiment sets the tone for a critical and often comedic analysis of the film's various shortcomings.
A central point of confusion revolves around the concept of "Jellicle cats," a term repeatedly used throughout the movie without clear definition.
The hosts speculate on the meaning and significance of Jellicle cats within the movie's narrative, highlighting the film's failure to provide clarity.
This section underscores the film's lack of coherent world-building and storytelling.
A significant portion of the discussion is dedicated to the movie's technical shortcomings, particularly concerning scale inconsistencies, costume design, and CGI usage.
Jason Mantzoukas [18:16]: "Going into this movie, did you know that the cats were supposed to be scaled to the size of real cats? The cats are nothing is rightly scaled because sometimes there's like a cemetery plot that's 10 foot tall."
June Diane Raphael [54:58]: "Some of the cats have no clothes on but a fur coat. Is that the pelt of a dead cat?"
The hosts highlight glaring issues such as oversized props, mismatched scales between characters and their environments, and inconsistent attire, questioning the film's artistic direction and execution.
The episode delves into character portrayals, focusing on performances that either fell flat or stood out amidst the chaos.
Jason Mantzoukas [25:12]: "Every song is just an introduction of a cat... None of the songs illustrate character, illustrate theme,..."
Paul Scheer [32:03]: "Just one moment in the movie where I really enjoyed the music. And that's when Jennifer Hudson's voice was finally allowed to open up."
While most performances are critiqued negatively, Jennifer Hudson's rendition of "Memory" receives praise for conveying genuine emotion, standing as a rare highlight in the film.
The hosts express disappointment in how the musical elements were integrated, emphasizing the repetitive and non-contributory nature of the songs to the overall narrative.
Jason Mantzoukas [43:03]: "Hamilton is an incredibly... But it doesn't do anything for me the way that music does or the way that plays do."
June Diane Raphael [31:18]: "The only critique I have of this film is that she did the kind of Anne Hathaway in Les Mis. I dreamed a dream like snot running down the nose."
The discussion points out that, unlike successful musicals where songs enhance storytelling, "Cats" fails to use its musical numbers effectively, leading to a disjointed and unenjoyable viewing experience.
Midway through the episode, the hosts incorporate audience questions and showcase snippets from a second opinion segment featuring Seth Rogen's insights.
Seth Rogen [91:04]: "The scale is weird. And I did research online, and it told me that the sets were built to a 2.5 scale, which means that the cats would weigh around 60 pounds."
Audience Member Jamie [68:50]: "The cat on the head should be smaller than the lion's head."
These interactions provide additional layers of critique, reinforcing the hosts' sentiments and introducing fresh perspectives on the film's flaws.
The conversation touches upon the rushed production timeline and the possible reasons behind the film's numerous issues.
Paul Scheer [74:07]: "Apparently this article in the Daily Beast that came out in 2020, it took six months to produce the two-minute trailer, and then they were only given four months to make the entire film."
Jason Mantzoukas [76:54]: "This movie, I mean, they look like... Paul, how did this get made?"
The hosts suggest that financial pressures and tight deadlines may have led to compromised quality, resulting in the disjointed and poorly executed final product.
As the episode wraps up, the consensus among the hosts is clear: "Cats" is a cinematic misfire that fails on multiple fronts.
Jason Mantzoukas [95:30]: "Do not watch this movie. It's an unmitigated failure from start to finish. It is unpleasant to watch. It is unsettling. It will haunt my dreams."
June Diane Raphael [97:34]: "I thought that was just great. But it is very... So much going on here."
However, they acknowledge Jennifer Hudson's performance as the sole redeeming aspect of the film, suggesting viewers might consider watching it solely for her rendition of "Memory."
In this episode, "How Did This Get Made?" offers a scathing yet humorous critique of the "Cats" movie adaptation. Through meticulous analysis and engaging banter, Paul, June, and Jason uncover the film's numerous flaws—from technical inconsistencies and poor storytelling to questionable character portrayals and rushed production. While acknowledging the effort behind bringing the Broadway musical to the big screen, the hosts ultimately conclude that "Cats" falls short of expectations, serving as a prime example of how not to adapt a beloved stage production.
Notable Quotes:
This comprehensive summary encapsulates the hosts' discussions, critiques, and insights on the "Cats" movie, providing readers with a clear understanding of the episode's content even if they haven't listened to it.