Super Mario Brothers LIVE! w/ Jenny Slate (Classic)

Summary

How Did This Get Made? — Super Mario Bros. LIVE! (Classic)

Podcast: How Did This Get Made? Episode: Super Mario Brothers LIVE! (Classic) Date: April 7, 2026
Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Special Guest: Jenny Slate
Location: Live at Bumbershoot, Seattle

---

Episode Overview

This live episode dives deep—and hilariously—into the infamous 1993 “Super Mario Bros.” movie. The hosts and guest Jenny Slate dissect its wild deviations from the beloved video game, its bonkers plot, misaligned tone, inexplicable art design, and baffling production choices. Audience questions and riotous tangents abound as the panel tries to answer: How did this get made?

---

Main Topics & Key Insights

1. The Absurdity of Adapting Super Mario Bros.

• Paul Sheer launches the episode questioning: "Can you make a movie out of a video game? In this case, no." (02:00)
• The film's failure to capture any meaningful connection to the game beyond the title is a running joke.
• June Diane Raphael observes: “Everything about the game that you love, but none of that.” (03:15)

2. Opening Scene — Bananas Plot from the Start

• The film starts with an animated sequence about dinosaurs in Brooklyn, meteorites, and alternate dimensions.
• Jason Mantzoukas dryly summarizes: "What if the impact of that meteorite created a parallel dimension where the dinosaurs continue to thrive and evolve into intelligent, vicious, aggressive beings just like us?” (06:31)
• The panel is incredulous that this setup is supposed to excite viewers.
  • June: “That is the beginning of the movie. That is what's supposed to get you excited.” (07:32)

3. Video Game vs. Movie: Disconnect and Character Backstories

• The panel laments how the film invents odd backstories:

  • Mario and Luigi aren’t actually brothers; Luigi’s origins are ambiguous.
  • Bob Hoskins (Mario) apparently didn’t know he was filming a video game adaptation until halfway through shooting.
    • Paul: "Bob Hoskins did not know that this movie was based on a video game until he was in the middle of shooting it." (04:39)

• Casting trivia: Danny DeVito, Tom Hanks were considered for Mario.

  • June (on Tom Hanks): “... I just want to know, like, Tom Hanks being like, Philadelphia, Super Mario Brothers. Philadelphia, Super Mario Brothers.” (13:37)

4. World-Building: Dystopian DINOhattan

• The world is a dystopian alternate New York run by evolved dinosaurs.
  • Described as “Judge Dredd meets Pluto Nash.” (05:27)
• Features like “devolution machines”, “Goombas”, and gooey fungus king mystify and amuse the hosts.
• Jenny Slate remarks on meeting the “king”: "...she's like. Has like a. Oh, my God. Like, you're my father. Like, as if to say she was reunited with a real man for the first time. An orphan finding her father. Except that it is Drooping Jizz bucket." (37:36)

5. Wild Set Pieces & Adult Overtones

• The movie crackles with unexpectedly adult themes, bizarre plot turns, and memorable/weird side characters:
  • A women’s prison full of oddly cheerful abductees.
  • Mojo Nixon as “Toad”, devolved into a harmonica-playing Goomba.
  • Dennis Hopper as King Koopa gives a full-throttle, slightly “Blue Velvet”-esque performance.
    • June: “He’s basically playing Frank from Blue Velvet as the bad guy in this movie.” (22:33)

6. The Fungus King, Goombas, and Those Elevator Scenes

• Dennis Hopper’s Koopa turns people into Goombas with a brain-shrinking machine.
• Goombas (tiny heads, huge bodies) are both disturbing and hilarious.
  • Elevator scene: Goombas are distracted by harmonica music and begin dancing in unison.
    • Jenny Slate: “They love it. They love it so much when they're in the elevator. It's so sweet. Their big bodies and Their little heads.” (31:14)
• The goo/fungus (former king) theme riffs on the “mushroom” power-ups from the game.

7. In-Universe Logic and Nonstop Exposition

• The crew breaks down how the movie constantly tries to explain itself—often via dubbed or offscreen dialogue to patch over plot holes.
  • Paul: “This movie does a great thing… They do exposition in every scene… Where are we? What's happening? Why is it happening?” (19:31)
• Speculation on why plumbers are “public enemy #1” in Dinohattan; various (inconclusive) theories offered.

8. Visuals: 9/11 Imagery and Dystopian Aesthetics

• A particularly jarring moment: The film appears to anticipate the 9/11 collapse of the Twin Towers.
  • Paul: "Super Mario Brothers kind of called 9/11. Basically it showed the destruction of the Twin Towers." (41:01)
  • The gang reacts with mixed horror and disbelief.

9. Production Stories & Behind the Scenes

• Troubled shoot: Bob Hoskins broke his finger (hides it onscreen), admitted to being drunk during much of filming.
• The rumored chaos of the production includes directors pouring hot coffee on extras.
  • Paul: “The director, Rocky Morton, once poured hot coffee on an extra's head because he didn't like the extra's Costume." (46:46)

10. Cult Status and Why People Love It Anyway

• The movie flopped financially ($21 million gross on $48 million budget), with Jurassic Park’s release blamed for the failure.
• The hosts read from actual 5-star Amazon reviews—most of which are barely coherent, slightly aggressive, but enthusiastically positive.
  • June, singing the “Second Opinion” jingle: “The movie was a piece of shit, yet this person recommends it. Tell me, what is the message? Maybe that art is subjective. I need a second opinion.” (44:50)

---

Audience Q&A Highlights

[39:01] Why Are There Election Posters in a Dictatorship?

• Audience Member: “Why is there election posters in a dictatorship?”
  • June: “It is a monarchy. It's a monarchy because he is King Koopa.” (39:18)
  • Paul: “Maybe just. It's to keep morale up. As if they do have a choice.” (39:29)

[43:29] Colorful Plumber Costumes

• Jason: “Where did those [plumber] suits come from?”
  • Jenny: “Didn't they grab them out of a locker in order to sneak into somewhere else?” (43:39)

[44:04] The Box Office Bomb

• Movie cost $48 million, made $21 million.

[47:41] Jenny's Goomba Impression & Donkey Joke Section

• Jenny: “Hee haw.” (47:49)
• Laughter erupts as the audience and hosts get silly about donkey jokes and Goomba impressions.

[48:33] Where Were You When This Movie Came Out?

• Paul: “I was in high school.” (48:37)
• June: “I was a sophomore in college and... I couldn't have given a shit about Super Mario Brothers, though.” (48:39)
• Jenny: Grew up without Nintendo, remembers being both sad and a little scared of the film as a kid.

---

Most Memorable Quotes

• Paul: “This is like a student film with $100 million.” (29:59)
• June: “Those all sound like excuses covering up a gay relationship.” (14:14, about Mario & Luigi's ambiguous connection)
• Jenny (about goo king): “As if to say she was reunited with a real man ... Except that it is Drooping Jizz bucket.” (37:36)
• Jason: "Super Mario Brothers kind of called 9/11." (41:01)
• June (singing): "The movie was a piece of shit, yet this person recommends it..." (44:50)

---

Notable Segments & Timestamps

• [02:00] — Opening banter, Paul sets up the premise: “Can you make a movie out of a video game? In this case, no.”
• [06:31] — Discussion of the bananas dinosaur intro and alternate universe.
• [08:27] — Jason and June question the plausibility of "meteorite causes parallel universe" science.
• [12:45] — Ethnic casting and the weirdness of Mario/ Luigi as “not brothers”
• [22:33] — Dennis Hopper as Koopa and “Blue Velvet” comparisons
• [29:31] — Goomba transformation and harmonica elevator scene
• [31:14] — Panel riffs on the Goomba elevator-dancing scene
• [34:12] — Gooey fungus king and its role in the plot
• [41:01] — “Super Mario Bros. called 9/11”
• [44:50] — “Second Opinion” jingle, reading insane Amazon reviews
• [46:46] — Production chaos: "director poured hot coffee on an extra"
• [48:39] — Where were you when the movie came out?
• [50:07] — Mojo Nixon's arc as a Goomba

---

Final Thoughts & Recommendations

• The panel awards the movie high marks for sheer absurdity, with Paul and June recommending everyone watch it—preferably “in small doses” or 'on acid'.
• Repeatedly described as a failed experiment, accidental avant-garde art project, and a film so bizarre it’s oddly compelling.
• Closing advice: “Watch this movie. Cause that scene with Dennis Hopper in the pile of goo is awesome.” (37:12)
• Key closure: the movie’s end-credits scene does (sort of) loop things back to the video game's origins, with Japanese businessmen visiting Mario and Luigi.

---

In sum: This "How Did This Get Made?" episode delivers a riotous and oddly affectionate takedown of a movie that must be seen to be believed. They ultimately answer their own question: No, you can’t make a movie out of a video game—at least, not like this.

Transcript

[Paul Shear]

Audible's sci fi thriller the Space within is back with a new season. Academy Award winner Jessica Chastain returns as Dr. Madeline Weil, a renowned psychiatrist whose investigation into mysterious alien abductions and inexplicable DNA alterations launches her into a cosmic mystery that blurs the line between science and the unexplainable. As more and more people disappear and return with profound changes, Dr. Maddy must investigate whether these experiences are psychiatric or. Or evidence of something beyond our world. Listen to both seasons of the Audible original series the Space within [e-mail] the space within Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail]

[Jason Manzoukas]

Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra.

[Paul Shear]

See full [e-mail] hey guys, it's Will from Smartless.

[June Diane Raphael]

And yes, this is a promo.

[Paul Shear]

Okay, and so listen, everybody. We just recorded our 300th episode with Stephen Colbert, which actually felt less like booking a guest and more like accidentally scheduling a performance review for ourselves.

[June Diane Raphael]

Y. You know, that's why, because we. We talked late night in the art of the monologue and spent a solid chunk of time realizing that he's actually funnier and smarter. And. And this is the one that really hurt. He's better at hosting our own podcast. Am I right, Sean? Yeah, a little bit. At one point, I'm pretty sure he could have just taken over and none of us would have noticed or stopped him.

[Paul Shear]

That's true. That is true. That's true. Anyway, listen, episode 300 is out now, so please listen so that we can justify calling this work.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's right. Listen to smart lists. And where, where, where can we listen to smart List, Sean? Wherever you get your podcasts.

[Paul Shear]

Wherever you get your podcasts.

[June Diane Raphael]

Bye.

[Paul Shear]

Can you make a movie out of a video game? In this case, no. We saw Super Mario Bros. So you know what that means. Now it's time for how to discover we're gonna have a good time celebrating

[June Diane Raphael]

failure not just be a hater Cause

[Paul Shear]

you know you wonder how to disgrace.

[June Diane Raphael]

Let's wallow in the mediocrity of subpar

[Paul Shear]

art Perhaps we'll Find the answer to the question how. Hello, people of Earth and people of Seattle. We are live here at Bumbershoot. Super Mario Brothers. This is gonna be great. Joining us as always, my two co hosts, Jason Manzoukas. Give him a warm welcome. June. Diane rayfield. And we have a very special guest today, the enormously funny Incredib, talented Jenny Slate. Give it up for Jenny Slate. I have a seat right there. All right, guys. Super Mario Brothers.

[June Diane Raphael]

So good.

[Paul Shear]

So good, so good.

[June Diane Raphael]

Just like the game.

[Paul Shear]

Everything about the game that you love, but none of that. Well, you know, I do think that just from the beginning of this movie, it starts off like, crazy bananas. Like, they don't even.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, you think?

[Paul Shear]

Yeah, I mean, come on.

[June Diane Raphael]

It starts off pretty normal.

[Paul Shear]

They don't even give you a chance to kind of, like, be like, oh, yeah, you like these characters? No, no. They go absolutely insane.

[June Diane Raphael]

And there's built in. I feel like built into this movie should be like, hey, you all play the game. This is based on that. Like, they could have done something that tied the game and brought the game into the movie. No, instead, they did something very different.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, this movie's really about how the Mario Brothers became super.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Right.

[Paul Shear]

Literally. Spoiler alert. That's kind of the last line of the movie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, that's what happened.

[June Diane Raphael]

The guy kind of. It's the last line of the movie.

[Paul Shear]

Well, no, no, you forget. The real last line of the movie is the cliffhanger ending that sets up the sequel that, thank God, no one will see.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think they should make that sequel right now.

[Paul Shear]

Oh, man.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I guess that's my question, though, is what did we know about the Mario Brothers from the game? Because I know you only played the game once.

[Jenny Slate]

I didn't have Nintendo. I watched this as a film.

[June Diane Raphael]

Aw.

[Paul Shear]

Well, and this is. And Jenny, this is interesting because I did a little bit of research. Bob Hoskins did not know that this movie was based on a video game until he was in the middle of shooting it.

[Jenny Slate]

Of course not.

[June Diane Raphael]

Are you serious?

[Paul Shear]

Yes. It says that Bob Hoskins, while shooting the movie, his son asked him what he was working on. He mentioned the film's title. His son immediately recognized it and showed Hoskins the game on his Nintendo.

[June Diane Raphael]

So he read this and was like, yup, this is a movie I gotta make.

[Paul Shear]

He was like, I want in, I want in.

[June Diane Raphael]

His agent was like, hey, man, you know what? This is based on a pretty popular. You know what? I don't need to hear anything else. I play a plumber. That goes through an interdimensional vortex, I wind up on what appears to be the set of Pluto Nash. I believe that mixed up.

[Jason Manzoukas]

His name is Mario. Mario.

[Paul Shear]

Yes, Mario. Mario. That's probably the biggest laugh of the movie. Yeah. The sets look like Judge Dredd meets Pluto Nash. But I do want to just show you the opening. Just. This is what. This sets the bar. So from everything here forward. I can't. Yeah, just watch it. Here we go. We'll pull it up. Because when you watch it, you'll be like, what? Here we go. A long, long time ago, the Earth was ruled by dinosaurs. They were big, so not a lot of people went around hassling them. Actually, no people went around hassling them because there weren't any people yet. Just the first tiny mammals. Basically, life was good. You know, it just don't get no better than this.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, Brooklyn, something happened. 65 million giant meteorites struck the Earth. Goodbye, dinosaurs. But what if the dinosaurs weren't all destroyed?

[Paul Shear]

What if the impact of that meteorite created a parallel dimension where the dinosaurs continue to thrive and evolve into intelligent,

[June Diane Raphael]

vicious, aggressive beings just like us? Nope.

[Paul Shear]

And, hey, what if they found way back.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, what? What? Oh, shit.

[Paul Shear]

What are you talking about? Oh, what are you talking about?

[June Diane Raphael]

This is happening.

[Paul Shear]

If a meteor hit Earth and created an alternate dimension where dinosaurs exist.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What.

[June Diane Raphael]

What if they find their way back?

[Paul Shear]

Super Mario Brothers, just like the game.

[June Diane Raphael]

You see what. You see what we're setting up, right? Dinosaurs with Brooklyn accents and Super Mario Brothers.

[Paul Shear]

And they didn't even have Bob Hoskins do his Mario voice. That's just a random Brooklyn dinosaur.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Paul Shear]

Which is good that the accents did start back 65 million years ago.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, my God. And I love that. Like, that is. That's the beginning of the movie. Like, that is what's supposed to get you excited.

[Paul Shear]

Oh, my God.

[June Diane Raphael]

They did it. They did it. All the dreams have come true.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And by the way, the choice to animate that whole section later on. You do see dinosaur reptile type creatures

[Paul Shear]

when they go into Dinosaur Hatton, but

[Jenny Slate]

they're like Jurassic Park.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Exactly.

[Jenny Slate]

Like Yoshi actually looks a lot like the raptors from Jurassic Park. And because I didn't know who Yoshi was when he came into the room, I was like, oh, my God. But then he was really nice.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah, Yoshi is a nice raptor.

[Jenny Slate]

He's a very nice.

[Paul Shear]

Except when he started eating that woman's

[Jenny Slate]

leg, he was not nice to her.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah, not nice to her at all.

[June Diane Raphael]

She served it. I have a real problem with the. I mean, Listen, I don't want to poke too many holes in this, but, like, let's not.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Let's not.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm pretty suspect of the physics that a meteor crashing to Earth creates an alternate dimension.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Jason, it's a movie.

[June Diane Raphael]

I don't think.

[Paul Shear]

Well, Jason, to be fair. To be fair, you're not a scientist, right?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. What is your degree in from college?

[June Diane Raphael]

I am not a scientist. Yeah, but I'm pretty sure striking something very hard does not. Does not cause a rift in the dimension. In the.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But you're not positive.

[Jenny Slate]

Yeah, but again, you don't know that.

[June Diane Raphael]

To the multiverse.

[Paul Shear]

Again, I'm going to say you are not. Yeah, you're not a scientist.

[June Diane Raphael]

But to be fair, I am not a scientist. All right, fine.

[Paul Shear]

The first 15 minutes of this movie is kind of like dramedy of these plumbers. I mean, we're not seeing too much super. We're just seeing Mario Brothers doing their plumbing job.

[June Diane Raphael]

And by the way, they're not very good. They're very unsuccessful.

[Jenny Slate]

They can't get work.

[June Diane Raphael]

They can't.

[Paul Shear]

Were you guys confused about what was going on here? Like, they get a call. It's like, marriott Brothers. We need you guys to fix this leak. And then they have to race there to beat another competing plumber. Like, is that how plumbing works? You send out a call to, like, who gets here first gets the job.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's how I do everything. I call four different versions of whatever I need. Whoever gets there first, they get the job.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They wanted it the most.

[Paul Shear]

Also a big weird turn. Mario Brothers. You would think they would be brothers, right? That would probably be the easiest thing. They're not. They're not brothers. It is Mario and his, like, foster kid.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's what I. Yeah, I felt like he was, like, left on the stoop. Similar to.

[June Diane Raphael]

But that, like, Samantha Mathis character was also left on the stoop.

[Jenny Slate]

That's my favorite part, actually. I mean, maybe I'm skipping.

[Paul Shear]

No, no, no.

[Jenny Slate]

When they're out to dinner, like, really casually, and someone's like, I like your necklace. And it's like, if I had that necklace, I'd be like, oh, thanks. It's from my grandmother or whatever. But she's like, thanks. It's from when I was found. Oh, I was abandoned. Like, really?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Actually, by the way, the way they get into that conversation is from me, Maria. Maria's girlfriend, Daniela, who says, out of the clear blue sky, I own a tanning booth. You should come tanning. And then Princess Daisy says, oh, I can't, because I Can never take this necklace off.

[Jenny Slate]

Right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Jenny Slate]

And then they immediately, like, she changes way in. They love each other. Like, it's like instant horniness. And they're like. You also were found. That's the key.

[Paul Shear]

They get off on each other. Being orphans. That makes them. Today's podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just starting out or scaling up your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Now, I love Squarespace because it gives me everything I need. You can offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. You can streamline your workflow. Keep it all in one. That's right. Built in appointment scheduling. Check. Email marketing tools. Check. I have been using Squarespace forever. You can see each one of my websites, whether it's the Dark Web, Paul Shear unspooled, or how did this get Made? Is completely a unique experience. And I love building there because it makes me feel free and creative to offer the things that I want to offer. Now head to squarespace.combonkers for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code bonkers. It's B O N K E R s to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual.

[June Diane Raphael]

Even if it means sitting front row

[Paul Shear]

at a comedy show. Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird.

[June Diane Raphael]

What is this, your first date? Oh, no.

[Paul Shear]

We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.

[June Diane Raphael]

We're married.

[Paul Shear]

Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. There is a lot of really weird Italian stereotypes going on. And Bob Hoskins not an Italian man.

[June Diane Raphael]

Do you think they were like, okay, we have Hoskins. He's the perfect Mario. Great. Who are we gonna get to play his brother? Holy shit. We've got Leguizamo. They can't be brothers. Screw it, they're not brothers. Leguizamo's an orphan, too. Great. That's even better.

[Paul Shear]

And Mario. Mario has huge accent. John Leguizamo. No accent.

[June Diane Raphael]

None.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No.

[Paul Shear]

I want to just read to you guys some people who were Approached to play Mario. Danny DeVito did not respond to the song.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's an obvious choice.

[Paul Shear]

Turned it down. Tom Hanks then was attached to play Mario. But the film executives believe that Tom Hanks was more than the studio could afford. So they dismissed him and hired Bob Hoskins, believing Hoskins would be a more profitable actor.

[June Diane Raphael]

Was this. But just because I'm not, was this, like, right around who Framed Roger Rabbit era or. No, it's 1993. So, no, I don't know. Maybe I just want to know, like, Tom Hanks being like, Philadelphia, Super Mario Brothers. Philadelphia Super Mario Brothers.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, here's my question, though. What does Mario Mario think Luigi is to him? What do they think the relationship is? Do they think they're brothers?

[Paul Shear]

No, he said that he's. John Leguizamo goes. He's like a mother, a brother, a father and an uncle to me.

[Jenny Slate]

Right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But that's what I'm saying. What did they land on? What are.

[June Diane Raphael]

What would they.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What are they?

[June Diane Raphael]

Those all sound like excuses covering up a gay relationship.

[Jenny Slate]

It is weird how John Leguizamo can't ask her on a date at all, and then Bob Hoskins just stands to the side and he's like, come over for dinner. Like, whatever. That's the worst way to.

[June Diane Raphael]

I feel like Bob Hoskins, his girlfriend. What's her name?

[Jenny Slate]

Daniela.

[June Diane Raphael]

I feel like he's fucking her constantly.

[Jenny Slate]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Although they just had, like, the electric chemistry of people who are just filthy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I actually thought they did.

[Paul Shear]

They really did.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Bertha was a lot better than his chemistry with Daniela.

[Paul Shear]

Well, I got to say that this whole movie has odd adult themes. I mean, it really. It feels like. I don't know, like, maybe I'm giving it too much credit, but Blade Runner meets, like, Nintendo or something like that. Cause there are some moments that you're like, oh, like, he keeps a bunch of women in, like, a little cave. Like, all those women are kidnapped, and they're just hanging out in a room,

[Jenny Slate]

and they're not in a bad mood at all.

[Paul Shear]

No, they're kind of psyched.

[Jenny Slate]

Like, I guess I'm not the princess.

[June Diane Raphael]

There's the one girl.

[Paul Shear]

Too bad. I got kidnapped from Brooklyn.

[June Diane Raphael]

All of these women have been kidnapped because they're looking for Samantha Mathis. The dummies who are looking for the escaped princess are looking. So they just keep kidnapping New York's women. And they're all.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's my question is what. What were they going on? Just woman.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, no. Remember, he Sundays, she's got two arms, two legs, and one head.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, that's it.

[June Diane Raphael]

So that's the only criteria.

[Paul Shear]

These guys were set up. The two henchmen were very dumb.

[Jenny Slate]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

And then, then the. My favorite of the kidnapped women in the. In the prison was the one who always had a cigarette. Always had a cigarette, like for days. Justin was always like, we gotta run, we gotta run.

[Paul Shear]

But my favorite, my favorite part, there was a moment when they're all in that prison and she goes, I think I wrote it down. I'm just looking to see if it's here. Basically, they go, she's the princess. They find the princess. And then the other one goes, now it's getting interesting. Oh, you mean the fact that you were kidnapped, brought into an alternate dimension, run by dinosaurs and kept as slaves? That wasn't interesting?

[Jenny Slate]

Boring.

[Paul Shear]

The development of a princess involved now. Now things are shaping up.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's the thing that this movie, I struggle with so much about this movie because I'm like, again, I didn't play the game. I don't know much about it. But if you were like, oh, this

[Jason Manzoukas]

movie, then you're not a scientist.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm also not a scientist, but if I was like pitching, I'm like, hey, I want to make a movie out of Super Mario Bros. Oh, great. It's a super popular game. Jumping turtles, turtle shells, mushrooms. Great. It takes place in a bleak dystopian multiverse where dinosaurs run the world and trying to combine two worlds into one and reduce everybody to their reptile past. Super Mario Brothers.

[Paul Shear]

And look, I've read a lot of stuff online and people get really defensive. Like, come on, you can't base it on the game. I'm not saying make a movie where they run across screen bumping things with their head. Just make them brothers. Just give us something. Let's not throw out everything. Like they just like, we got the title now let's start from scratch. So basically, this, like, Armand Assante lookalike Mafia boss is. And this is in the real New York, is threatening to shut down a dinosaur dig site right under the Brooklyn Bridge. Right under the Brooklyn Bridge. They get sucked into this dino land.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well. And Princess Daisy Samantha Mathis, who's wearing a safari outfit.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yep. She's dressed for an archaeological dig in the desert, but she is under the Brooklyn Bridge.

[Paul Shear]

And they get sucked into this dinoland. Where things are pretty different. Things are very, very different. Did you realize the musician they bumped into was Mojo Nixon? Yeah, from Jello Biafra. Again, great for a kids movie. Actually, I should Play the clip of Mojo Nixon. Because this is actually. This is kind of a moment in Dino Land. Here, take a look.

[June Diane Raphael]

It could only be better if they ran into Gigi Allen.

[Paul Shear]

I'm gonna cut myself and then shit on you.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm just gonna sh.

[Jenny Slate]

Me.

[Paul Shear]

Hey, hey, guys, cheer up.

[June Diane Raphael]

Things would get worse. Ain't got no water anywhere. Food's bad, slows the air, got no

[Paul Shear]

resources and a great big stupa.

[June Diane Raphael]

All because of the evil King Hoopa. You know the law, Toad. Hey, wait a minute.

[Paul Shear]

You can't arrest a guy that you're singing a song for. Anti Koopa songs.

[June Diane Raphael]

We can.

[Paul Shear]

Uh huh. Plumbers. No, he is.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm just apprenticing.

[Paul Shear]

Get in the car. But I didn't do it. Are you telling us that you can arrest a guy for being a plumber?

[June Diane Raphael]

Get out of here.

[Paul Shear]

Get in there, plumber.

[Jenny Slate]

No.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hey, what is this? Okay. All right.

[Paul Shear]

What do we.

[June Diane Raphael]

What do we do?

[Paul Shear]

I'm getting arrested for being a plumber.

[June Diane Raphael]

Putting his number down.

[Paul Shear]

That is a great scene where they.

[June Diane Raphael]

That is a real scene from this movie. You might think that that's just some random assemblage of insanity, but it's a real scene from this movie.

[Paul Shear]

This movie does a great thing, which not many movies do, which is they do exposition in every scene. Where are we? What's happening? Why is it happening?

[June Diane Raphael]

Why?

[Paul Shear]

If you're confused, here's an ADR line that we've got.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Two scenes later, they're running out of the police station. We just. We see them run out of the police station. Then the next shot, it's in this sort of Pluto Nash type, like just.

[June Diane Raphael]

I love that Pluto Nash has become just a reference point for us because

[Jason Manzoukas]

the color scheme is exactly the same.

[June Diane Raphael]

Guys, if you haven't seen Pluto Nash. See, go right now. We'll wait.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah, yeah. Come back in an hour and 40 minutes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

As they're running into frame, they just scream out, we're still in the police station.

[Paul Shear]

Okay. Clearly there were problems when they were editing this movie. They're like, we need to like. Because a lot of the movie they recorded the dialogue later and they just threw it in because they're never on camera when they're saying this.

[Jenny Slate]

They're like in a. In the. They're like in the cab once. Or like the bad guys are in a car and you just see the car and someone just goes, out of my way. But it's like nowhere.

[Paul Shear]

No. Yeah. By the way, I do love the way the police are dressed in studs.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Paul Shear]

There's studs on the back of a leather jacket that say police. It looks like something out of, like, the Village People. Now, I was. I was concerned, though, about this. So this is an alternate reality where dinosaurs have evolved into humans, or are they all humans wearing. Are they all dinosaurs wearing human costumes? Because Dennis Hopper. What is he putting his hands in that?

[Jenny Slate]

What is that?

[Paul Shear]

Yeah, he puts.

[June Diane Raphael]

I couldn't figure that part out either, but they are. I think what they're contending is that as we have evolved from apes, they have evolved from lizards, from dinosaurs, but they look exactly like humans and act exactly like humans.

[Paul Shear]

Because I would argue that humans look. I mean, if they. Without the hair similar to apes, but humans do not look similar to dinosaurs, I would say that evolutionary chain, they might be way far advanced, but you're

[June Diane Raphael]

not accounting for the meteor creating an environment.

[Paul Shear]

Got it.

[June Diane Raphael]

In which dinosaurs still exist. They have evolved into their human counterparts that also sing the same songs we

[Jason Manzoukas]

sing, have the same police uniform.

[June Diane Raphael]

They have all the same technology that we have.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Pizza and pizza.

[Paul Shear]

But they. Oh, when they order pizza, though, they order it with dino toppings.

[Jenny Slate]

But no mammal.

[Paul Shear]

No mammal.

[Jenny Slate]

Are they stealing the humans from Brooklyn to put on their pizza? I don't know, because I wanted to know about that.

[Paul Shear]

Because didn't he say, I want, like, a Triceratops pizza?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, he asked.

[Paul Shear]

That would lead me to believe that a piece of a dinosaur is being put on his pizza.

[Jenny Slate]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And she.

[Jenny Slate]

The lady who always has her, like, titties up.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah, she.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, this is Dennis Hopper's girlfriend.

[Jenny Slate]

Dennis Hopper's girlfriend. She drank a drink with snakes in it.

[Paul Shear]

Yes. And the snakes go, oh, God. Like, they made a little noise. We should just mention, by the way, Dennis Hopper is the ruler of the dinoland. Go ahead.

[June Diane Raphael]

As. As he is basically playing Frank from Blue Velvet as the bad guy in this movie. He might as well have the little thing and be like, it's that. It's that intense.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Now, in this scene, they're specifically looking for these plumbers because Koopa has asked for them and put the word out, these plumbers are here. But there are so many other points in the movie where people make comments like plumbers.

[Jenny Slate]

Yeah, they don't buy the plumbers.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Plumbers are hated in this universe. Is that because there's no water?

[Paul Shear]

Really? That's what Jello Biafra said. He goes, we ain't got no water.

[June Diane Raphael]

And you think they blame plumbers for that?

[Paul Shear]

I think they go, it reminds them of what they don't have. It reminds them they go, oh, I wish we had a rich history of plumbers, but we don't have water. So I hate these plumbers.

[June Diane Raphael]

This is a classic how did this get made? Moment? Because I don't think that's it at all.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't think it's at all either. I think what has happened in the past past within these 65 million years is that plumbers or the last 20 years, I guess plumbers have been the closest to getting into this other dimension. So. Have caused trouble to them.

[Paul Shear]

How? What?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Just by. Even though.

[Paul Shear]

To get to the alternate dimension, I

[Jason Manzoukas]

literally, I think turning the wrong.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think that because the. The. The Mario brothers come in who are not technically brothers. Huh? The Mario. Not brothers.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The Mario Mario acquaintances.

[June Diane Raphael]

The Mario pals. Their relationship is very Batman and Robin. In a world in which Bob Hoskins is Batman.

[Paul Shear]

I gotta give it up for Bob Hoskins because he really does sell the shit out of Mario.

[Jenny Slate]

I think he's a great actor in this movie.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah, great. In an interview with the Guardian magazine, Hoskins answered Super Mario Brothers to these three questions. What is the worst job you've ever done? What's your biggest disappointment? And if you could edit your past, what would you change,

[June Diane Raphael]

By the way? All three basically the same question.

[Jenny Slate]

His whole past.

[Paul Shear]

His whole past. Just this movie. He broke his finger on this movie. So if you watch the movie, he's wearing a pink hand cast over his hand. So for the majority of the movie, he is wearing a cast.

[June Diane Raphael]

I think I was just gonna say, I think that because they're plumbers and they are the enemy of Dennis Hopper. I think that's why people hate plumbers. I don't think the culture as a whole hates plumbers.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They don't even know they've only been in this other universe for hours. How did they know?

[June Diane Raphael]

They put the plumber alert out that they wanted plumbers.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But that's. That's not how they're delivering those lines.

[Paul Shear]

But what about.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's not.

[June Diane Raphael]

Are we analyzing actor choices?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Those lines are being delivered like plumbers. Again, not like these guys.

[Paul Shear]

My biggest question is, did this take place after Mario saved that girl from the Donkey Kong?

[June Diane Raphael]

I want to know that, too. Is this a Lord of the Rings scenario? Yes. Where Bilbo has already had his adventure and now he's just living life in the Shire?

[Paul Shear]

Because he did not. Yes. I felt like Mario had been through some stuff and he wasn't letting on 100%.

[June Diane Raphael]

At some point, he should have been like, you know what? I've actually seen some pretty crazy stuff already. I battled an enormous ape for a woman's virtue.

[Paul Shear]

I had to run up ladders, jump over barrels. Things were tough.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Now in the game, because I've never really played it. Did they have any superpowers or anything like that? No.

[Paul Shear]

They would grow big.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yep.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Because one of the big themes of the movie is using your tools.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, no, no.

[Paul Shear]

They do more plumbing. They don't do any plumbing in the games. There's no Right. Would you guys. There's no plumbing in Mario. They go in pipes, but they never, like, are not wrench.

[June Diane Raphael]

You don't. You don't have to be like, aabb, wrench, wrench, wrench, rent wrench.

[Paul Shear]

Right. Righty tighty, lefty Lucy.

[June Diane Raphael]

No, they don't. But they. They just jump over stuff. You know what? I. And I was really disappointed. There is not a goddamn gold coin in this movie.

[Jenny Slate]

That's what I thought. Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

There is not a. I played that game, and I was like, all I wanted was those fucking coins. Not a fucking coin in this movie.

[Paul Shear]

Although there is talk about getting their coins. There is talk about getting their coins.

[June Diane Raphael]

Really?

[Paul Shear]

Well, let's. I'll play the clip.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'll play this clip of the shamed right here.

[Paul Shear]

All right, here we go. Coin getting scene.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Are you boys new here in town?

[June Diane Raphael]

Lady, we're looking for somebody, and we're from Brooklyn. Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know, boys, it's very dangerous here in this neighborhood.

[Paul Shear]

You shouldn't wander around without a weapon.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah. You got one? No.

[Paul Shear]

All right.

[June Diane Raphael]

Get him a sucker. Cooper.

[Jenny Slate]

Coins.

[Paul Shear]

I need Koopa coins.

[June Diane Raphael]

You labels. Well, this ought to. Don't.

[Paul Shear]

Don't touch that.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hey, that's fine.

[Jenny Slate]

That's not even ours.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hey, uh.

[Paul Shear]

Oh. Let me go.

[Jenny Slate]

What are you doing?

[Paul Shear]

She wanted those Koopa coins, and now a woman throws her on her.

[Jason Manzoukas]

She's okay.

[Paul Shear]

Everyone remembers the crazy old lady who wants Koopa coins from the Super Mario game, right?

[June Diane Raphael]

Who's an old lady who can be thrown off of a bridge, land in a car, get up and start shooting the driver. That woman wants her coins 3/4 of that scene. It is a stocky man playing that character, like, visibly a man.

[Paul Shear]

Also in that scene. Why does every car have sparklers on it? Every car that's driven, it looks like a bumper. Oh, yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

Why? Okay. Cause it is. They're running electricity grid. Because this is how the. The buses in Boston used to run, where they have these big things that go up to electricity wires that run through the city. So they have to. And they Create sparks that. That's how they get driven.

[Paul Shear]

Okay, so it works. It works on the same thing as a bumper car at a state fair.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yes.

[Paul Shear]

And that's why they all have the. All right, well, there we go. All right, you've proven you've answered my question.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's the part that I was like, oh, I get it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I can lock into this.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, yeah, now I'm in. Now you got me. I'm just looking for something that takes something universal and applies it to my individual experience. That was it.

[Paul Shear]

There are so. I mean, man alive.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, my God, there's so many things I want to talk about.

[Paul Shear]

Please.

[June Diane Raphael]

When Mojo Nixon gets turned into a toad headed man.

[Paul Shear]

Yes.

[June Diane Raphael]

And they give him his harmonica back.

[Paul Shear]

Yes.

[Jenny Slate]

Yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

So. So Mojo Nixon. Oh, God. So Dennis Hopper has a machine that can either. Go ahead now, guys, this movie is fucking garbage.

[Paul Shear]

I would argue it's not even garbage. It's art. It is the closest thing to art that I've seen.

[June Diane Raphael]

Experimental art.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah. This is like a student film with $100 million.

[June Diane Raphael]

So Dennis Hopper has a machine that can either evolve you further or devolve you. Right. So it can bring you. He makes dumb people very smart. And he makes regular people so dumb that they have tiny toad and or lizard heads.

[Jenny Slate]

But big bodies.

[Paul Shear]

But big body, giant bodies. It only shrinks their brain. They only shrink. Not only does it shrink their brain, but it shrinks the skull and everything. So their heads. Yeah, their heads, yeah.

[June Diane Raphael]

So he's in the process of doing this. He shrinks Mojo Nixon's head to it. So he's one of the Goombas. Yes, right. Is what they're called. Are Goombas part of the game?

[Paul Shear]

Yes, Goombas are part of the game.

[June Diane Raphael]

What part of the game are they?

[Paul Shear]

The mushrooms. Oh, I do like, though, that they go like, oh, we gotta tell everybody these Goombas are coming to Brooklyn. Which, you know. Hey, look, there's already Goombas in Brooklyn, man. We already know that. Gustav's apprentice.

[June Diane Raphael]

But the Mojo Nixon Goomba is a good guy, right? He's like. He still has a conscience left. So he. He kind of helps them. And they must have been like, how are we going to know the good Goomba from the rest of them? What about that harmonica? Put the harmonica back on him and then he plays the harmonica and it tricks all the Goombas into dancing, which is their weakness.

[Jenny Slate]

They love it. They love it. They love it so much when they're in the elevator. It's so sweet. Their big bodies and Their little heads.

[Paul Shear]

And when questioned, don't they just simply say, everyone loves to dance? Like, as if you were to play music for anyone, that would be the end all be all right.

[Jenny Slate]

I'm not a scientist, but I would say that everybody does love to dance.

[Paul Shear]

Well, yeah, you don't have to be a scientist for that. You just have to be known. Human nature.

[Jenny Slate]

That's right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Why does everyone love to dance in the same beat to the same.

[Paul Shear]

Like this. It's kind of like a slow rock. Which allows the Mario brothers to walk behind them as they make a turn. But the Mario brothers are here the entire time. They just walk right behind them. There is a lot of dancing in this movie. Do you remember Mario's sexy dance with the Busty woman?

[Jenny Slate]

She loves her, too.

[Paul Shear]

Oh, he loves.

[Jenny Slate]

There's a lot of chemistry. And I think Bob Hoskins was, like, on fire.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sexy dude.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah.

[Jenny Slate]

He was like.

[June Diane Raphael]

Wait, with Big Bertha, that character?

[Paul Shear]

Oh, remember that? He was dancing with her. Super sexy. So much so that she's like, you know what? You keep that artifact meteorite.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But did you think that he.

[Paul Shear]

I want your artifact meteorite in between. And your plumber pants.

[June Diane Raphael]

You can take the rock and give me the rock.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Jenny Slate]

I actually thought.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I thought that he. Well, first of all, I was confused because it didn't seem like he was putting this on to get away from her as a part of a bigger plan. It seemed like he genuinely liked her.

[Jenny Slate]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, had he forgotten about Daniela?

[Jenny Slate]

He forgot. Well, first he was just trying to get it done. He was like, nobody can resist the charm of the Mario. And then he goes up to her, and I thought he was going to be really smooth. And he goes, hey, I'm your main man.

[Paul Shear]

He rhymes, right?

[Jenny Slate]

She just punched him right in the face.

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm Kiana. And I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day, I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like, I can't stop. I'm addicted. Start your free [e-mail]. classic Dennis Hopper line. Do you know what I love about mud? Yeah, it's clean and dirty at the same time. Tell me that's not a Frank line from Blue Velvet. I mean, come on.

[Paul Shear]

Oh, man. We do have. I mean, Dennis Hopper does some of. Some also solid acting in this movie too. Doesn't cheat. It brings it 100%. Even when he is doing a scene with a pile of goo.

[Jenny Slate]

Like boogers.

[Paul Shear]

Like boogers.

[Jenny Slate]

Yeah.

[Paul Shear]

I will play you the scene of him doing a scene.

[June Diane Raphael]

If you're wondering whether there is sentient goo in this movie, there is.

[Paul Shear]

And the sentient goo will give the Mario brothers gifts if you just trust them out. You gotta trust it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You have to.

[Paul Shear]

The goo looks a little bit like pasta. Alright, so here's the Goofy. My, my.

[June Diane Raphael]

You have let yourself go.

[Paul Shear]

You see, I'm not such a bad guy. You always wanted to be everywhere. Well, now you are. And I want to tell you something. You can go ahead and choke this little mushroom kingdom all you want.

[June Diane Raphael]

Cause I'm out of here. I'm out into the bigger world.

[Paul Shear]

I got a couple of plumbers bringing me the rest of the meteorite. Soon to be dead plumbers. And by the way, you really ought to try to pull yourself back together again. Slime bucket. All right, so if you can. If you can't see this, it is a tight close up on Dennis Hopper as just a. Literally like just an oozing fountain of goo is just shooting out. He is doing a scene with goo.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I love that they left. He left the chair there for the goo though.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, because the goo just. Just for those of you who can't put it together. Cause it's pretty obvious the goo is the former king of this universe or this dimension rather, who Dennis Hopper put through the de evolution machine and reduced him to goose fungus. He is a fungus and everybody is like the fungus. Every. You have to be cleaned of the fungus and the meanwhile the fungus is right. Mushrooms are a thing in the game. Right? And it keeps giving. The goo keeps trying to give them mushrooms and they don't really do dick with them.

[Paul Shear]

Well, only at the end when Bob Hoskins is able to shoot the devolver gun back at Bob. Dennis Hobbit.

[June Diane Raphael]

The mushroom grows.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah, the mushroom grows because he trusts the mushroom. I mean, that's the whole lesson. Luigi's telling him from the very beginning. Trust my skills. Trust my this, Trust my that. Luigi gives him no reason to trust him because every time Luigi does something, it's dumb. But at the end of the movie he goes, well, let me just try trusting him one time.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'm starting to understand what was happening with the character arcs. So Luigi's arc. Well, no, Luigi's teaching Mario to really just trust in the universe. Trust that things are Gonna happen for a reason. Just trust and believe. And Mario is trying to teach Luigi over and over to use the tools that he has with him.

[June Diane Raphael]

So you're saying Luigi Jun just broke

[Paul Shear]

it down, Broke it open. Take a bow. Take a bow.

[June Diane Raphael]

That is.

[Paul Shear]

Wow.

[June Diane Raphael]

That is June's. June's final episode of how did this get made?

[Paul Shear]

She figured it out. She figured it out better than the nine scriptwriters.

[June Diane Raphael]

That is a pretty heavy. Like, one is to put your faith in a higher power, and one is to believe in yourself. Yeah, there's some pretty real religious messages going on in this movie.

[Paul Shear]

And then I guess the answer is do a little bit of both.

[June Diane Raphael]

I will say, watch this movie. Watch this movie. Cause that scene with Dennis Hopper in the pile of goo is awesome. What's more awesome is the pile of goo is Samantha Mathis father. And when she is reunited with the goo, it's amazing.

[Paul Shear]

I wish.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's wonderful.

[June Diane Raphael]

It is bonkers. She has, like a. She's like. Has like a. Oh, my God. Like, you're my father. Like, as if to say she was reunited with a real man for the first time. An orphan finding her father. Except that it is Drooping Jizz bucket.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, not only that, which.

[Paul Shear]

And then, like. And the jizz bucket does get turned into Lance Hendrickson at the end of the movie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But also before. Before that, when he's still goo. Right after Daisy meets him, John Leguizamo, Luigi also meets him and is introduced to him. It's as though he's meeting her dad for the first time as a pile of goo.

[June Diane Raphael]

She's like, hold on. She goes, hang on, hang on. There's somebody I want you to meet. This is my father. Literally. As, like, a stalactite of jizz erupts from the ceiling stalagmite, which is the one that hangs down.

[Paul Shear]

Either way, in this movie, it doesn't make a difference. Cause in the dinosaur world, it's the opposite.

[June Diane Raphael]

Nice. Nice.

[Paul Shear]

I wanted to try something different because we were doing a live show and we never have done this before. But if you've seen the movie and you have a question about something that stuck out to you, I will take a question from you guys. Does anyone have a question, or did we nail it? Did we nail it all?

[June Diane Raphael]

I'm pretty sure we're fucking killing it tonight.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah. Well, think about it. If you have a question, you raise your hand.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, yeah, we got one right here.

[Paul Shear]

Okay, let me go get the mic over to you. All right. Here it is.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So we just watched this Last night.

[Paul Shear]

Okay.

[June Diane Raphael]

You're welcome.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul Shear]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. That was a great hour and 45 minutes. But we were wondering, why is there election posters.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah, why is there election posters in a dictatorship? That is a very good question.

[June Diane Raphael]

It is. It is a monarchy. It's a monarchy because he is King Koopa.

[Paul Shear]

Okay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And it was a monarchy before that, by the way. It wasn't a democracy.

[June Diane Raphael]

Samantha Mathis, Father's Day.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The goo is also a king.

[Paul Shear]

Maybe just. It's to keep morale up. As if they do have a choice. Like, just a. A chance to be like, hey, you know, it's. You're not really stuck.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Nobody else is running. But.

[Paul Shear]

But the first thing that they do when the Mario Brothers win is to paint over those propaganda signs immediately. Immediately.

[Jenny Slate]

They're like, first order business. All right, it happened. And they do it like.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But also no.

[Jenny Slate]

Like, he's. He's like, really on them. Like, Koopa is, like, on everyone. But then when he calls the pizza place, they're like, oh, hey, Koopa.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah.

[Jenny Slate]

You know, like, he's like, it's Koopa.

[Paul Shear]

Like, he makes a lot of pizza.

[June Diane Raphael]

His pizza is a runner through the whole movie. There's, like, big battle scenes where he's on his walkie talkie. He's like, I want all the Goombas to invade. Ready to invade. And where's my pizza? And then, like, two scenes later, he's talking on the thing again. The guy's like, oh, your pizza's here.

[Paul Shear]

Well, you know what? I just had a question about? This is the land that he inhabits. Is it as big as Earth, or is it only as big as Brooklyn?

[June Diane Raphael]

Well, remember, he has that globe. So what it is, is, it's just a few streets with the skyscrapers. It's a tiny little city. And then the rest of their planet is the desert.

[Jenny Slate]

The desert.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, right.

[Jenny Slate]

And you can't drive your car there.

[Paul Shear]

Forgot about the whole desert sequence. Any other questions from the crowd? If you have a question, you raise your hand. I'll come out to you. Well, Jason. Should we play the Jason and I talk about this one image in the movie?

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, my God.

[Paul Shear]

Super dark.

[June Diane Raphael]

This shit is mental.

[Paul Shear]

Maybe we'll play it and then just stop it. We can talk about. But I want to reveal it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Tell us what part of this scene you think is really pretty fucking crazy.

[Paul Shear]

All right, here we go. Can we get. We're going to put on the screen to dim the house lights for a second. Here we go. Look, it's Koopa's tower.

[June Diane Raphael]

Guys will do anything for Buffalo.

[Paul Shear]

All right, so what everyone is reacting to, what everyone is reacting to is Super Mario Brothers kind of called 9 11. Basically it showed the destruction of the Twin Towers. There it is.

[June Diane Raphael]

Too soon, you guys.

[Paul Shear]

It was one of the most disturbing images. Oh, God. Oh.

[June Diane Raphael]

I literally, I was watching this and I was like, wow.

[Paul Shear]

And especially because they do fall down like that, it's very upsetting.

[June Diane Raphael]

And that led us to have a conversation which was, do you think Osama bin Laden saw this movie? Saw this movie in like a cave in Pakistan and was like, you know, we have to do this exact thing.

[Paul Shear]

We have to.

[June Diane Raphael]

We have to King Koopa it.

[Paul Shear]

We have to King Koopa.

[June Diane Raphael]

That will devolve things. So we're going to have to fly planes into it. That's the only thing we can do.

[Paul Shear]

Oh, Ben Koopa.

[June Diane Raphael]

Shoot.

[Paul Shear]

Okay, another. Another question right here. Another question. How financially successful was this movie? Because every time I go to Target, it's still featured on the shelves. They're still trying to get rid of it. They're chosen. I will tell you, I actually have the stats on the, the expensiveness of the movie. I, I'm. I don't know how much it costs. I feel like it must have cost too much. Bob Hoskins later has admitted that he got drunk throughout the whole filming of this movie. And John Leguizamo wrote about it in his book. Let me see here. I'm just gonna get.

[June Diane Raphael]

John Leguizamo has a book.

[Paul Shear]

I did a lot of research for this one.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'm figuring that out. Paul, there's a point where they're. They're not in the costumes for the. Most of the movie that we know them from, from the video game. And then all of a sud scene, they're in like a bright red and green, yellow and yellow ketchup and mustard.

[Jenny Slate]

Like futuristic.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, like costumes. Like

[June Diane Raphael]

suits they wear in the club first. They're wearing those when he. When he fights Big Bertha. They first change into an all red woman suit on Lake Guizamo. And an all yellow suit.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, no, I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about the plumber suits with the overalls and the cor.

[Paul Shear]

The ones that make them look like they're in Boys in the Hood.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. Where did, where did those come from?

[Jenny Slate]

Didn't they grab them out of a locker in order to sneak into somewhere else?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, so we're now that. That's sort of the origin of these suits. So when we've watched the video games, that's where the suits came from.

[June Diane Raphael]

When we watch the video games like we all do.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I just watched Paul play.

[Paul Shear]

I only. I only watched the cutscenes of Mario the Movie. The movie was made for $48 million.

[June Diane Raphael]

What?

[Paul Shear]

And it only made $21 million.

[June Diane Raphael]

That is still way more than I would have thought it would have been.

[Paul Shear]

A lot of people blame the failure of this film on Jurassic park, which was released the following week.

[Jenny Slate]

Please.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's like. That's like. I heard Pete. I heard Pete Berg say Battleship didn't work because Avengers came out.

[Paul Shear]

Nope, not the case. Not the case.

[June Diane Raphael]

Not true.

[Paul Shear]

Obviously we had, you know, very strong opinions, but there are some people who thought differently. So now it's time for a second opinion.

[June Diane Raphael]

The movie was a piece of shit, yet this person recommends it. Tell me, what is the message? Maybe that art is subjective. I need a second opinion.

[Paul Shear]

These are reviews culled from Amazon. These are all five star reviews of Super Mario Brothers. Now, I will say this is the hardest second opinion I ever had to do because the fans of this movie are bananas and they have no sense of humor and they're kind of volatile. So I tried to take the ones that were a little lighter. Here's one of them from F. Smith Jr. I bought this for a friend. She really liked it. I like her. Everything's just fine.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, that's like five stars, too. That's an amazing haiku.

[Paul Shear]

This one's a little bit longer, but I still like it. I really like the movie and spend a lot of time yelling, oh, no. Then, oh, never mind. It's funny. I thought I was gonna die of laughter. There's a lot of action, too. So if you're an action fan, this is for you. My friend and I laugh at this movie a lot. We normally do stuff like this. Hey, remember the part where Mario and Luigi are at the police station and the guy's like, your name Mario. Last name Mario. Oh, yeah. And then he asked Luigi your name. He goes, luigi Luigi Luigi. No, Luigi Mario. And then. Okay, how many Marios we talking about here? Three. Mario Mario and Luigi Mario. But our favorite is Goombas. Strong, lethal and stupid. So he just talked to you? He just took you through kind of a conversation that he has with his friend. Another fact that I thought was really interesting about this movie that deserves to be mentioned again, like we said, John Leguizamo, yes, he does have a book, his autobiography. He said the director, Rocky Morton, once poured hot coffee on an extra's head because he didn't like the extra's Costume. Now, just to put this in perspective, the extra has no control over what he's wearing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. This is. How much money did it cost to make this movie? At 40.

[Paul Shear]

40 something million dollars.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The actors are not bringing their costumes. They are being handed to them.

[Paul Shear]

The director poured hot coffee on an extra's head because he did not like his costume.

[June Diane Raphael]

You know what? I'm cool with that. I mean, right? Fucking extras.

[Paul Shear]

Wear the right thing, you dummies. Any. Any other questions? Any other. Any other thoughts from the audience? Yes. Or in the back. Alright, here we go.

[Jenny Slate]

What does a good donkey say?

[Paul Shear]

Oh, this is a joke.

[June Diane Raphael]

All right.

[Paul Shear]

What does a good donkey say? What?

[Jenny Slate]

Hee haw.

[Paul Shear]

All right. It was worth it.

[June Diane Raphael]

Okay, wait, no, no, no. Hang on, Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What does the donkey say?

[Jenny Slate]

Jason, you're not a scientist.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're not. You're not.

[Paul Shear]

All right. Do you have any donkey jokes?

[June Diane Raphael]

I do not.

[Paul Shear]

I appreciate the way that that donkey joke was delivered. What is your question?

[June Diane Raphael]

I am not a jackass.

[Paul Shear]

Okay?

[June Diane Raphael]

This was 20 years ago. Where were you guys when this movie came out? Because when this came out, this was before Jurassic park. And we all thought a week.

[Paul Shear]

Jurassic Park.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's awesome. That looks great. We all thought Super Mario. That looked awesome. That looked great.

[Paul Shear]

Where were you guys when this came out, guys? Locations.

[June Diane Raphael]

What year is it? What year did this come out?

[Jenny Slate]

93.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Is that specific?

[June Diane Raphael]

93.

[Paul Shear]

I was in high school.

[June Diane Raphael]

I was a sophomore in college and I did not have any clue. If there had been a Legend of Zelda movie, I probably would have gone to see it. I couldn't have given a shit about Super Mario Brothers, though.

[Paul Shear]

I was stalking Bob Hoskins.

[June Diane Raphael]

Oh, shit. Everywhere he went. Did we offend you guys?

[Paul Shear]

The donkey jacket.

[June Diane Raphael]

I bet they're fucking scientists. Fucking scientists. Yeah, I don't even remember that.

[Paul Shear]

I really don't remember this movie even coming out.

[Jenny Slate]

I do. I feel like I do. I was 11. I was a child, but I wasn't allowed to have a Nintendo or play the games. And I remember.

[Paul Shear]

Why not?

[Jenny Slate]

Because my parents are weirdos and we grew up. I grew up in a haunted house in the woods in Massachusetts.

[Paul Shear]

You had your own ghost?

[Jenny Slate]

Yeah, we didn't have any extras besides the spirits.

[June Diane Raphael]

You're not gonna get a Nintendo. Go play with the ghost.

[Jenny Slate]

Yeah, exactly. I remember being sad that I couldn't see it, but also too scared to see it. Like it seemed like it was for boys. Well, yeah, I'll stand by that because

[June Diane Raphael]

it Was for boys.

[Jenny Slate]

Also, when I was watching this, I was scared of those little head, big bodies.

[Paul Shear]

Yeah, they are. They are scary.

[Jenny Slate]

They scare the shit out of me.

[Jason Manzoukas]

About that guy who turned into one of the Goombas. What they. What's his name again?

[June Diane Raphael]

Mojo Nixon.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. He seemed a lot happier as a Goomba.

[Jenny Slate]

Yeah, he smiled a lot.

[Paul Shear]

He seemed happy. He was not busking on the street anymore for money.

[June Diane Raphael]

He has the best arc in the movie. He's the most satisfying character arc in the movie.

[Jenny Slate]

You know what I love about him is he brings Princess Daisy some meat and she's like, oh, no, I don't like that. Or whatever. Do you have any steamed vegetables? And he's like, you know, like, he does and he does. And for some reason, he knows where to get them.

[June Diane Raphael]

By the way, terrific Goomba impression.

[Paul Shear]

That was a good one.

[Jason Manzoukas]

There's a remake you need to get

[Paul Shear]

in for one of the final, final thoughts on this. Is it worth watching 100%? I think so.

[June Diane Raphael]

Again, it is free on YouTube.

[Paul Shear]

Take it in small doses.

[June Diane Raphael]

Don't take it in small doses. What's like drop acid and watch this movie?

[Paul Shear]

So that's it for how did this get made? Live in Bummer. Shoot Super Mario Bros. The movie. You can follow me on Twitter Paul Shear. You can follow Jenny Slate on Twitter ennySlate and June Isjunedian. One thing I want to draw your attention to, if you did not watch the full movie, you have to stay through the credit sequence. Because at the end of the credit sequence, there's a little scene where Japanese men come into Mario and Luigi's house and decide that they want to buy their story for a video game. You see, so it does tie in. You see, the Japanese video game guys didn't get their life right. It wasn't that the game was poorly translated. It was the Japanese guys didn't understand their story the right way. So it all makes sense. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual.

[June Diane Raphael]

Even if it means sitting front row

[Paul Shear]

at a comedy show. Hey, everyone.

[June Diane Raphael]

Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date? Oh, no.

[Paul Shear]

We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual Together.

[June Diane Raphael]

We're married.

[Paul Shear]

Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[June Diane Raphael]

Hey, guys, it's Will from Smartless and yes, this is a promo.

[Paul Shear]

Okay? And so listen, everybody, we just recorded our 300th episode with Stephen Colbert, which actually felt less like booking a guest and more like accidentally scheduling a performance review for ourselves.

[June Diane Raphael]

Yeah, you know, that's why, because we. We talked late night in the art of the monologue and spent a solid chunk of time realizing that he's actually funnier and smarter. And. And this is the one that really hurt. He's better at hosting our own podcast. Am I right, Sean? Yeah, a little bit. At one point, I'm pretty sure he could have just taken over and none of us would have noticed or stopped him.

[Paul Shear]

That's true. That is true. That's true. Anyway, listen, episode 300 is out now, so please listen so that we can justify calling this work.

[June Diane Raphael]

That's right. Listen to Smartless. And where, where, where can we listen to Smart List, Sean? Wherever you get your podcasts.

[Paul Shear]

Wherever you get your podcasts. Bye.