How Did This Get Made? – The Great Wall LIVE! (HDTGM Matinee)
Podcast: How Did This Get Made?
Hosts: Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Recorded: Medford, MA, September 9, 2025
Movie: The Great Wall (2016)
Episode Overview
In this raucous live episode, Paul, June, and Jason break down "The Great Wall," a wildly expensive, genre-mashing, Matt Damon-starring action movie—the most expensive ever produced by China, notable for its misfiring accents, outlandish space-dog monsters, baffling plot choices, and accidental camp. The hosts dig into what makes this film so entertainingly bad, riff on its wildest choices, and interact with a rowdy Massachusetts audience intent on holding their own Matt Damon pride. If you haven’t seen the film, the hosts firmly assure you: that’s okay—they endured it for you.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Initial Impressions & Context
- Boston’s Matt Damon Pride: The audience is treated to local color as Jason introduces the film as “a movie about the Great Wall of China and some fucking weird ass aliens... because of greed. That’s all you need to know. It’s a period piece. Also, it’s the most expensive movie China has ever produced, $135 million budget.” (02:29)
- Subtitles as a Challenge: Paul laments, “We cannot do subtitled movies on this podcast anymore. I have to be able to look away. You can’t look away when you’re reading it.” (04:29)
Movie Breakdown: Plot, Setting, and Performances
- Genre Confusion: The hosts are baffled by the genre blend (monster movie, fantasy epic, Chinese folklore) and the wild introduction of monsters:
- Paul: “Space dogs eating up the Great Wall of China in the past—it is an opportunity. This is what this movie is about: beards and accents. Boom.” (05:33)
- Accent Watch:
- Jason: “I feel like his [Matt Damon's] accent changes about five times in this one scene.” (18:22)
- Paul: “Sometimes it’s Matt Damon, sometimes it’s John Wayne, sometimes it’s Scottish, sometimes it’s Irish. Accents are fucking hard, man.” (20:09)
Favorite/Notable Performances
- June’s Surprise Enjoyment: "There were a lot of things I enjoyed about this movie. Number one, Matt Damon—actually, also number one, Pedro Pascal." (09:00)
- Willem Dafoe Oddity:
- “It’s as if he was just visiting set…peeking around a corner like a coquettish cat.” (10:23–10:33, Jason)
- Anecdote about Dafoe’s “confusingly large penis” and its impact on film productions, detouring into film lore. (11:22–11:50)
The Monsters (Tao Tie) and Battle Scenes
- Monsters Introduced: The reveal that the Great Wall is beset not by Mongols but by ravenous CGI monsters (Tao Tie) stuns the hosts and is a highlight:
- June: “I was shocked when the Tao ties showed up. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.” (15:05)
- Jason: “The dogs from Ghostbusters got some work.” (14:51)
- Bungee Warriors and Arsenal:
- Jason: “Tao ties were as shocking as the army trained in bungee jumping…They jump in this hoop…try to stab them in the head…We have arrows and flaming balls…” (15:45-16:09)
- Paul: “Gunpowder straight away. Start using the black powder!” (16:09)
- Women on the Frontlines:
- June queries the logic of sending women first: “They were sacrificial lambs.” (16:44–16:56)
- Paul defends: “Commander Lee was a total badass.” (16:51)
- Jason: “It’s highly ineffective fighting…they had too much time on their hands.” (17:17)
Practical Effects & Spectacle
- Paul: “It is huge in scale and scope… very impressive practical effects and set pieces… cool that I enjoyed.” (05:33)
- Jason: “The costumes, the pageantry, the set design—it is fun to watch.” (51:56)
Plot Oddities and Thematic Confusion
- Legend or Nonsense?
- Jason reads the title card—"Some [dangers] are known. Some are a legend. This is one of those legends."—and asks, “Are you telling me it’s false right at the top? Don’t believe this movie?” (13:19, paraphrased)
- Allegory about Greed:
- Paul: “So this movie is anti-capitalist, right?” (28:29)
- Jason: “Spoiler alert: they defeat them, so greed is good? Wall Street 2. Money never sleeps.” (28:36)
- Monster Origins:
- June: “I think these people have started to tell themselves a story because of their own anxieties about capitalism and the strain it puts on the basic goodness of humanity.” (29:30)
- Group debates if the Tao Tie are aliens or simply animals—never reaching consensus. (30:33–32:14)
Hair, Beards, & Accents—Running Gags
- Matt Damon’s “from Boston” vibes:
- Paul: “I blame Matt Damon. How do you like them apples?” (05:35)
- Multiple riffs on “Where is he from?” as Damon's accent shifts. (18:14–20:23)
- Beard and Bathtime:
- June: “Did anyone have any thoughts on the big transformation of Matt Damon’s hair in the movie?” (40:21)
- Paul and Jason: Extended riff on whether cleaning up means you have to lose your beard. (41:00–41:17)
Standout Scenes & Set Pieces
- Fight Choreography and CGI:
- Jason: “Fight scenes are amazing…when you watch people doing moves around CGI creatures, it’s so stupid…it’s just like dancing around your bedroom.” (36:32–37:26)
- Magnets as Monster Kryptonite:
- Paul: “Isn’t it wild that magnets just scrambled their brains enough and made them deaf?” (38:12)
- Group jokes about just dropping magnets everywhere and ending the threat. (38:24–38:54)
- Hot Air Balloons and Lanterns:
- Paul: “I loved that. I loved that they first established the idea of the lanterns…then macro versions of those lanterns are hot air balloons…so many failing.” (50:43)
- Jason: “They are careening out of the sky on fire. It is wild.” (51:20)
The “Great Wall Prank” & Best Viewing Suggestions
- The hosts suggest:
- “Bring this movie over to a friend’s house—like, ‘Oh, it’s a beautiful historical picture…’ then you can get to watch their natural reaction to the Tao ties. That’s the best way to kind of watch it.” (73:17–73:36)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
On the Film’s Genre:
- Paul (05:35): “Space dogs eating up the Great Wall of China in the past, it is an opportunity. This is what this movie is about. Beards and accents. Boom.”
On Matt Damon’s Accent:
- Jason (18:22): “I feel like his accent changes about five times in this one scene.”
- Paul (20:09): “Sometimes it’s Matt Damon, sometimes it’s John Wayne, sometimes it’s Scottish, sometimes it’s Irish. Accents are fucking hard, man.”
On the Tao Tie Monsters:
- June (15:05): “I was shocked when the Tao ties showed up. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.”
- Paul (55:00): “They look like the mutant dogs from Fallout 4.”
On the Bizarre Techniques for Fighting:
- Jason (15:45): “Tao ties were as shocking as the army trained in bungee jumping…”
On Women Warriors:
- June (16:44): “I was troubled by how willing they were to sacrifice all the women.”
- Paul (16:51): “No, they were kicking ass. Commander Lee was a total badass.”
On Willem Dafoe’s Role:
- Jason (10:23): “When we first meet Willem Dafoe…he was just peeking around a corner like a coquettish cat.”
- Paul (11:22): “His penis was confusingly large.”
On the Movie’s Allegory:
- Paul (28:29): “So this movie is like anti-capitalist, right?”
- Jason (28:36): “Spoiler alert: they defeat them, so greed is good?”
On the Hot Air Balloons:
- Paul (50:43): “I loved the hot air balloons…I loved that they first established the idea of the lanterns…then macro versions of those lanterns are hot air balloons.”
On the Movie’s Place in Film History:
- Paul (70:54): “Now, the Great Wall came out in 2017. Its budget…was $150 million. And its opening weekend, it made 18 million domestic…But worldwide, 334 million. This movie is a huge hit.”
Audience Q&A Highlights
Q – Why kitchen duty in armor?
- Paul (56:29): “He was. Didn’t he have a moment of cowardice? And so he was, like, sent back to the kitchen. But…you might have to fight at any moment, so keep your armor on, but here’s an apron.”
Q – Could the monsters just go around the Wall?
- Jason (58:12): “I don’t know much about geography, but it sounds sound.”
- Paul (58:17): “Go get gunpowder. Blow up the green mountain. Boom.”
Q – What other ‘legends’ could the Wall be protecting against?
- Jason (59:49): “Oh, my God. What a great way to do sequels…The same characters, different legends.”
Second Opinions Segment (Amazon Review Musical Parodies)
(61:55+)
- Song parodies of movie reviews (by audience members) praise the film’s wholesomeness (“no kissy face, sex scenes or much profanity”—Kongji Jin, 64:35) and its monster-driven excitement (“horde of toothy alien creatures only a mother could love”).
- Jason reads a review about showing the film “on a white sheet in a barn” for maximum effect (67:07).
Would They Recommend?
- June (72:02): “It would be hard to do that.”
- Paul (72:06): “I would say yes, but if you’re gonna do the—if you’re gonna do the podcast, I would say watch it. But fast forward through sections until it looks like something…big spectacle is happening, then watch that.”
- Jason (72:40): “If you don’t know there are space dogs— that, to me, is the moment where…I haven’t felt a shock like that.”
Best Viewing Advice
- Jason (73:17): “Bring this movie over to a friend’s house—like, ‘Oh, it’s a beautiful historical picture…’ then you can get to watch their natural reaction to the Tao ties. That’s the best way to watch it.”
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Timestamp | Segment/Quote |
|-----------|----------------------------|
| 02:29 | Introduction/Boston Pride, Matt Damon context
| 04:29 | Subtitles complaint (Paul)
| 05:33 | First reactions to scale, effects, and “space dogs”
| 09:00 | June’s surprising enjoyment and Pedro Pascal
| 10:23 | Willem Dafoe’s entrance = “coquettish cat”
| 13:19 | Questioning movie’s “legend” premise
| 15:05 | Shock at monster reveal (June)
| 16:44 | Debate over women as frontline bungee warriors
| 18:22 | Matt Damon's accent montage
| 28:29 | Anti-capitalist/greed allegory
| 36:32 | Fight scenes w/CGI vs. real action
| 38:12 | Magnet logic for killing Tao Tie
| 40:21 | Matt Damon hair/beard and “hunk alert”
| 50:43 | Hot air balloon set piece
| 55:00 | Tao Tie design compared to Fallout 4
| 56:13 | Audience Q&A: kitchen duty in armor
| 61:55 | Musical “Second Opinions” & Amazon reviews
| 72:06 | Would they recommend?
| 73:17 | “Great Wall prank” suggestion
Tone & Final Thoughts
The episode brims with irreverent energy, affectionate roasting, and increasingly delirious tangents as the hosts dissect every bonkers aspect of "The Great Wall." They ultimately affirm the film is a must-see only as a shared, shocked “what the hell just happened?” experience—ideally involving pranks and popcorn. The episode is a love letter to bad movies everywhere, packed with inside jokes, lively audience participation, and the trio’s signature chemistry.
For fans of the podcast and connoisseurs of cinematic disasters, this episode both skewers and celebrates the marvelously misguided spectacle that is The Great Wall.