Podcast Summary: "How I Built My Small Business" Featuring Dr. Josh Davis, Ph.D.

Episode Title: Josh Davis Ph.D. - The Hidden Science of Communication: NEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING
Release Date: May 13, 2025
Host: Anne McGinty
Guest: Dr. Josh Davis, Ph.D.

Introduction to Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)

In this enlightening episode of "How I Built My Small Business," host Anne McGinty welcomes Dr. Josh Davis, a distinguished psychologist and neuroscientist from Columbia University. Dr. Davis, an international bestselling author and founder of the Science Based Leadership Institute, delves into the intricate world of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).

Dr. Josh Davis begins by defining NLP:

“[NLP] is a set of best practices that come from psychotherapies that are very good at helping people make changes quickly and in lasting ways.”
(00:01:23)

He explains that NLP originated over 50 years ago, emerging alongside other therapeutic approaches like cognitive therapy and hypnotherapy. NLP distinguishes itself by examining both verbal and nonverbal communication patterns, aiming to understand and replicate effective interaction techniques through a linguistic lens.

NLP’s Role in Effective Communication and Leadership

Dr. Davis emphasizes the power of NLP in enhancing communication and leadership. He highlights how NLP tools can help individuals connect more deeply, communicate with greater empathy, and overcome self-limiting beliefs.

“Neuro linguistic programming allows us to connect, communicate more effectively, lead with greater empathy and shift self-limiting beliefs.”
(00:00:00)

Understanding and Identifying Limiting Beliefs

A significant portion of the discussion centers on recognizing and addressing limiting beliefs through language patterns. Dr. Davis identifies common phrases that indicate such beliefs, referring to Albert Ellis’s concept of the “three musts” that hinder personal growth:

1. I must do well.
2. You must treat me well.
3. The world must be easy.

“Often we actually limit ourselves when we're saying, this should be this way. I should have done this, I should.”
(00:04:11)

By becoming aware of these phrases, individuals can begin to explore and reframe their mental models, fostering a more empowering mindset.

Reframing Thoughts: A Practical Example

Anne shares a personal anecdote where she applied NLP techniques with her nine-year-old daughter to help her manage overwhelming emotions on her birthday. She guided her daughter to separate her emotions from her identity, allowing her to choose not to let emotions ruin her special day.

“You are not your emotions. Anxious? That's a part of you, not all of you.”
(00:06:31)

Dr. Davis affirms that such reframing helps individuals view their emotions as manageable parts of themselves rather than defining their entire being.

Common Mistakes in Persuasion and Influence

Dr. Davis identifies a critical mistake people make when attempting to influence others: becoming overly attached to their own point of view and neglecting the openness of the listener.

“We very often get attached to trying to make our point... Unless they're open to listening, that could have the opposite effect.”
(00:08:11)

He stresses the importance of earning the right to be heard by building a genuine connection, thus creating a receptive environment for effective communication.

The Neuroscience of Changing Beliefs

When discussing how beliefs change, Dr. Davis touches on the neurological aspects, explaining that altering one’s mindset involves significant brain activity. Shifting to a growth mindset, for example, enables individuals to be more open and receptive to new information.

“When people change their beliefs, there are neural shifts that can happen... You can't make a change without changing your brain.”
(00:09:23)

The Power of Nonverbal Communication

A substantial part of the conversation explores nonverbal communication's role in influence. Dr. Davis explains how subtle cues like body posture, tone, and rhythm contribute significantly to how messages are received.

“Humans are amazing at picking up on these cues that are... even subtle ways that we communicate.”
(00:09:57)

He notes that synchrony in nonverbal communication fosters trust and rapport, making interactions more effective and meaningful.

Building Confidence Through NLP

Dr. Davis discusses techniques to enhance personal confidence, emphasizing the interplay between posture and emotional state. He advises experimenting with body language, such as standing tall with shoulders back, to not only project confidence but also internalize it.

“Confidence can start with your body. Try to stand tall, shoulders back and take a full breath.”
(00:14:02)

Additionally, he encourages shifting focus from worrying about others’ perceptions to what one can offer, thereby naturally fostering confidence.

Flexibility in Influence and Adaptability

Flexibility emerges as a key theme, with Dr. Davis explaining that the most influential individuals are those who can adapt their approaches based on the situation and the person they are interacting with.

“The person who is most flexible is the one who's likely to have the most influence.”
(00:25:26)

He contrasts this with rigidity, which often leads to resistance and diminished influence.

Patterns of Change Observed in NLP Practice

Dr. Davis categorizes the common areas where individuals seek change through NLP into three primary domains:

1. Work: Achieving big goals, such as writing a book or advancing in a career.
2. Relationships: Repairing or enhancing family and personal relationships.
3. Health: Overcoming past traumas or unhealthy patterns affecting current well-being.

He underscores that NLP is versatile, applicable to a wide range of personal and professional challenges.

NLP in First-Time Interactions vs. Ongoing Relationships

The discussion differentiates the application of NLP in new interactions compared to long-term relationships. Dr. Davis explains that even in first-time conversations, employing NLP principles can foster immediate rapport and understanding.

“If anybody asks a question, I'm looking for the positive intention behind it.”
(00:30:03)

This proactive approach helps in building connections quickly, even without prior familiarity.

Practical Application: The Juror and Lawyer Example

To illustrate NLP in action, Dr. Davis recounts an exercise from his upcoming book where a juror holds a blanket distrust of lawyers. Through NLP techniques, he guides the juror to recognize and question the universality of this belief, gradually opening up to the possibility that not all lawyers share the negative traits he associates with them.

“Recognizing that belief change is seldom like a sudden jump... people tend to start by becoming open to doubting.”
(00:21:58)

This step-by-step approach demonstrates how NLP facilitates meaningful belief transitions.

Teaching and Corporate Application of NLP

Dr. Davis elaborates on his role at the Science Based Leadership Institute, where he teaches NLP in corporate settings. By tailoring NLP techniques to specific professions, such as lawyers and financial advisors, he ensures that the tools are relevant and immediately applicable.

“We’re specifically taking it and doing NLP for lawyers, for example, or NLP for financial advisors.”
(00:35:10)

His approach emphasizes integrating scientific principles with practical applications to drive effective leadership and personal development.

Closing Wisdom and Future Directions

As the episode concludes, Dr. Davis shares personal reflections and advice, emphasizing self-compassion and continuous growth. He encourages listeners to embrace their current efforts and remain open to learning and evolving.

“You're doing the best you know how right now, given the circumstances and your abilities right now.”
(00:37:16)

Key Takeaways

1. Influence Begins with Openness: Before attempting to persuade, assess if the other person is receptive. Building a connection is essential to earn the right to be heard.

2. Nonverbal Communication is Crucial: Elements like tone, body language, and rhythm significantly impact how messages are received. Synchrony fosters trust and rapport.

3. Reframe Limiting Beliefs: Changing language from “I should” or “I must” to “I want” or “I choose” can unlock new possibilities and reduce self-imposed limitations.

4. Confidence Through Body Language: Adopting confident postures can both project and enhance genuine self-confidence. Experiment with body language to influence your emotional state.

5. Modeling Successful Behaviors: Observe and emulate the behaviors of naturally confident individuals. Understanding their mental models can aid in personal development.

6. Shift Focus to Personal Offerings: Instead of fixating on others' perceptions, concentrate on what you bring to the table. This shift enhances confidence and effectiveness.

7. Understand the Positive Intent Behind Resistance: Both internal and external resistance often stem from underlying positive intentions. Addressing these can facilitate meaningful change.

8. Manage Expectations to Avoid Disappointment: Realign your expectations to focus on what you can control and what truly matters, reducing unnecessary disappointment.

9. Flexibility Enhances Influence: Being adaptable and open to various approaches increases your ability to influence others effectively.

10. Self-Compassion Fuels Growth: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you offer others. Embrace your journey of growth without self-judgment.

Connect with Dr. Josh Davis:

• Websites: nlpdifference.com | sciencebasedleadership.com
• Book: The Difference that Makes the Difference (Releases July 8)

Follow Anne McGinty:

• Website: www.annemcginty.com
• LinkedIn: Anne McGinty
• Behind-The-Scenes: Instagram

This episode offers a comprehensive exploration of NLP and its profound impact on communication, leadership, and personal growth. Dr. Josh Davis provides actionable insights and practical examples, making complex psychological concepts accessible and applicable for entrepreneurs and lifelong learners alike.