Podcast Summary: "How to find your purpose (w/ Yara Shahidi)"

Podcast: How to Be a Better Human (TED)
Host: Chris Duffy
Guest: Yara Shahidi
Date: March 16, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode explores the question "How do you find your purpose?" through the experiences and insights of Yara Shahidi—acclaimed actor, producer, podcast host, and Harvard graduate. Host Chris Duffy and Yara dive into what it means to forge a meaningful life, balance competing passions, and practice optimism in a world full of challenges. They share practical tools, personal stories, and philosophical reflections to help listeners identify core values, craft a life of purpose, and embrace both excellence and being a beginner.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Why Finding Purpose is a Big Question

• Host Chris Duffy frames the episode around the tension many feel regarding who they want to be and what they want to contribute to the world.
  • "Figuring out what you want to do is in many ways figuring out who you want to be." (02:00)
• The enormity of making life choices can feel overwhelming, but understanding oneself and one’s values is crucial.

2. Yara’s TED Talk & Life Path

• Yara shares formative experiences, from reimagining the Odyssey with toys to the intellectual curiosity that fueled her academic journey (03:00–05:00).
• She discusses being confronted with the “Are you sure about that?” question and defying the pressure to choose between acting and academia.
  • "I was searching for an and, but I kept getting presented an either or." (04:00, TED Talk)
• By centering her life around honoring her own interests (whether the glockenspiel or Octavia Butler), Yara finds excitement rather than fear in what’s next.

3. The Work and Practice of Optimism

• Optimism as a Choice:
  • "Being a pessimist is easy"—optimism requires deliberate work and is not naive (07:59).
• Yara reflects on experiencing hopefulness at 18, followed by periods of pessimism and critique in college, and learning that “you get nothing done” by sitting in pessimism (08:00–09:30).
  • "Even being hopeful and even slightly naive at times, I accomplished more than sitting in my pessimism." (09:07, Yara Shahidi)
• Talking with others, learning from unfamiliar fields, and recognizing the limits of one’s knowledge help crack the door of possibility open.

4. Practical Tool: The “Hard Yes List”

• Yara and her mother/business partner created a “Hard Yes List”—a living record of things, experiences, people, or moments that bring pure joy (11:20–14:05).
  • "What is that thing that is an undeniable yes the moment you hear it… And life isn't always filled with those. So how can we take it into our own hands to sprinkle those things in?" (14:24, Yara)
• This tool helps during difficult times, providing a go-to set of mood-lifting actions or priorities and anchoring everyday decision-making.

5. Optimism vs. Pessimism: Intellectualism and the Practice of Joy

• Yara and Chris challenge the assumption that pessimism is more intellectual or “serious” (15:08–16:00).
• Yara shares:
  • "If joy is the feeling, optimism is the practice, and it is the fighting for that joy, even amidst all of the challenges—it’s not about ignoring the world. It’s about taking the world very seriously..." (16:00, Yara Shahidi)
• Optimism must be cultivated daily, especially on the hard days.

6. Intergenerational and Historical Context

• Yara references her “1963” tattoo, symbolizing fighting for a future that previous generations may never see—to remind herself the work extends beyond the present (11:20 & 18:24).
• Chris reflects on how some cultural shocks are tied to privilege, and Yara explains how history shapes current activism and the need to actively maintain social progress (17:11–19:09).
  • "We have been the inheritors of so much great work that has to be fought for and has to be maintained." (19:09, Yara)

7. Navigating Purpose in Changing Social Climates

• Discussions on how social advocacy work shifts as issues go in and out of fashion (20:16–22:00).
• Yara and her family use the framework of “highest order”—the three core values that drive actions—to guide decisions as public attitudes change.
  • "Highest order is a way of capturing what are the three things...that you feel like your actions are driven from or you want your actions to be driven from." (21:00, paraphrased)

8. The Pressure to Always Have an Opinion

• Social media and celebrity amplify expectations for instant, public stances. Yara asserts it’s okay to step back and to be “well-studied” before speaking on issues—even if that means saying, “I don’t have much information on that” (24:08–27:35).
• This advice extends to everyone navigating friend groups or online communities.

9. Growth, Identity, and Being More Than One Thing

• Yara describes reconciling dual identities as an actor and a student, learning from seasons where she had to pause to assess her true interests (28:55–32:38).
• Allowing time and space for multiple passions helps build a more resilient, expansive sense of self:
  • "My acting career didn’t stop me from being in school or stop me from pursuing my love of history." (29:00)

10. Life after Achieving Goals

• Both Chris and Yara note the jarring feeling after reaching a long-term goal—like graduating or finishing a TV show—wondering “what now?” (34:15–35:45).
• Yara’s answer: Repeatedly revisit and revise your sense of purpose using frameworks like highest order, and seek sufficiency for “right now,” not forever.

11. The Value of Being an Amateur

• Yara humorously recounts her love for hobbies she’s bad at (like glockenspiel, DJing, or crochet), and the importance of embracing the discomfort of being a beginner (39:10–43:53).
  • "I have so many squares. And I love the act of crochet. I love just the level of focus you need to crochet." (43:00, Yara)
• Letting go of mastery opens the door to unexpected joy and connection.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On optimism:
  • “Optimism is the consideration that you may not get much done, but at least you’re doing more than nothing.”
    — Yara Shahidi (09:25)
• On historical perspective:
  • “There's so many people that work towards a future they weren't guaranteed but knew was necessary to fight for.”
    — Yara Shahidi (11:26)
• On intellectual curiosity:
  • "There’s nothing as exciting as realizing how little I know."
    — Yara Shahidi (09:57)
• On growth and flexibility:
  • "It’s unfair to expect us to have answers…We deserve this space to really be sitting and thinking."
    — Yara Shahidi (22:26)
• On joy and optimism:
  • “If joy is the feeling, optimism is the practice.”
    — Yara Shahidi (16:00)
• On being a beginner:
  • “Why am I getting such a large emotional reaction to being bad at something I have no right being good at?... That began my very intentional pursuit of being bad and of creating situations in which I know the point is to be an amateur.”
    — Yara Shahidi (42:10)
• On “the Hard Yes List”:
  • “It was about actually being just as discerning about what I was saying yes to.”
    — Yara Shahidi (14:24)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:54–05:00: Yara’s formative experiences and lesson from her TED Talk
• 07:34–10:44: Yara’s thoughts on optimism, pessimism, and action
• 11:20–15:08: The Hard Yes List and practical approaches to joy
• 16:00–17:10: Optimism as a deliberate daily practice
• 18:24–20:16: Intergenerational, historical perspective on progress and setbacks
• 22:00–24:05: Navigating social expectation and highest order
• 24:08–28:55: Pressure to have opinions; value in being “well-studied”
• 28:55–32:38: Reconciling multiple identities and passions
• 34:15–39:10: Life after achieving big goals; purpose in transition
• 39:10–44:07: The importance and fun of being bad at things; embracing amateur status

Tone and Style

Both Chris and Yara use friendly, thoughtful, and humorous language—balancing seriousness with lightness and warmth. Yara’s approach to deep topics is approachable and deeply human, emphasizing learning, self-compassion, and ongoing curiosity.

Useful Takeaways

• You don’t need to have it all figured out—keep returning to your “highest order” values and update your purpose as life evolves.
• Deliberately notice and list the things—big or small—that fill your cup; keep a Hard Yes List.
• Optimism is a regular, effortful practice that helps you move forward, even if imperfectly.
• Embrace being a beginner—joy and growth often come from doing things you’re not “good at.”
• Give yourself (and others) the space to form well-thought opinions, and know it’s okay to say “I don’t know yet.”

If you’re seeking inspiration, a fresh perspective on purpose, or just encouragement to try (and fail at) the glockenspiel, this episode is a vibrant and practical guide.