Podcast Summary: "How to stop doomscrolling — and what to do instead?"

Podcast: How to Be a Better Human
Host: Chris Duffy (TED)
Guest: Katherine Alejandra Cross (Ph.D. candidate, tech critic, author of Log Off: Why Posting and Politics Almost Never Mix)
Air Date: September 8, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode explores the deep entanglement between our social media habits, political engagement, and mental well-being. Host Chris Duffy and guest Katherine Cross grapple with how online platforms both hinder and occasionally help efforts at building a healthier self, community, and society. The conversation centers on the illusions of political action via posting, the nature of harassment online, and concrete alternatives for meaningful engagement—both on and offline.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Social Media Feels So Hopeless — But Might Still Offer Hope

[00:02–06:45]

• Chris opens with his struggles in reconciling personal values ("being a better human") with online behavior and civic engagement.
• Katherine explains her journey from “techno-optimist” (inspired by online communities and protest movements) to recognizing social media's role in proliferating harassment and cynicism, especially after 2020’s events (e.g., Gamergate, COVID-19, and BLM).
• She cautions against assuming social media will solve our problems for us.

“It’s not that I’ve lost faith in information technology or the Internet. It’s just that the idea that social media is going to do the hard work for us... We have to dispense with those ideas.”
—Katherine Cross, [06:45]

2. Social Media as a False Substitute for Real Political and Community Engagement

[08:22–12:41]

• Social media often tricks users into thinking they are engaged in meaningful collective action.
• Metrics (likes, shares) are not votes, and “politics” is much broader—a daily negotiation about power and resources.
• The nature of social media renders people “completely monadic, individuals pretending that we are part of the collective.”
• Katherine draws on philosopher Hannah Arendt to distinguish true politics (negotiation, compromise, long-term effort) from the illusion of online activism.

“You are always together, alone, in social media.”
—Katherine Cross, [12:41]

3. How Social Media Increases Cynicism and Undermines Sincerity

[15:08–18:40]

• Social media privileges mocking, dunking, and ironic detachment over sincere collective action or celebration of real (if slow) political victories.
• Quiet successes are ignored while failures or faux pas receive disproportionate attention.
• Katherine critiques the attitude that sincere participation in democracy is “cringe.”

“It is easier to destroy than it is to build... to build something much more constructive takes time and effort, and it’s rare that it happens.”
—Katherine Cross, [17:18]

4. Anatomy of Online Harassment and "Third Order" Attacks

[22:03–29:32]

• Katherine presents her three orders of online harassment:
  • First order: Physical threats or harm (e.g., letters, threats to family).
  • Second order: Direct online abuse or trolling.
  • Third order: Indirect but pervasive discourse that legitimizes targeting someone (public debates “about” rather than “at” someone).
• Discusses case studies where innocuous actions (like offering food to neighbors) explode into national internet discourse and real harm for private individuals.
• Even defending or neutrally discussing the target can fuel the fire (“agnostic to intent”).

“Even if you try to defend the target… you are putting fuel on the fire. It is just all completely agnostic to intent.”
—Katherine Cross, [25:48]

5. The Role of Affordances: How Platform Design Shapes Behavior

[29:32–33:12]

• An “affordance” is a feature that suggests how to use something (e.g., a push bar on a door).
• Social media platforms are designed to maximize engagement in ways that encourage specific (often negative or performative) behaviors.
• Structures, not just individual morality, drive much harmful behavior online.

“You’re never going to get very far just telling people to change individual behavior. The real change… comes from changing the structure because it incentivizes and disincentivizes certain types of behavior.”
—Katherine Cross, [31:35]

6. Would We Be Better Off Without Social Media? What About Marginalized Communities?

[33:12–36:17]

• Katherine—if hypothetically possible—believes society would be better off without social media in its current form, but recognizes practical and ethical challenges.
• Advises using social media as more of a “phone book” or index to find people, then build deeper connections elsewhere (private chat groups, etc.).
• Cautions that social media “is not a community; it will eat you alive if something goes wrong.”

7. Is Building a ‘Better’ Platform the Solution?

[37:12–38:27]

• Platform tweaks (like adding friction to sharing) can help, but problems are foundational: “We just are not built to deal with staring into this vortex of millions of people’s ids screaming at you.”

8. What to Do Instead: Authentic Engagement and Clear Goals

[38:27–41:36]

• Don’t equate posting with action. Use social media deliberately, with specific, achievable goals (e.g., fundraising where it’s effective, organizing, etc.).
• Ask: What am I doing? What am I trying to achieve? Is social media the best tool for this, or just a default?

“As long as you have a clear goal in mind and social media is objectively capable of helping you achieve that goal, then maybe you can do something political there. But it’s not just... raising awareness.”
—Katherine Cross, [41:09]

9. The Value of Vulnerability, Long Form, and Admitting ‘I Don’t Know’

[41:36–44:11]

• Chris finds deeper engagement (longform conversation, nuanced writing) more productive than short posts.
• Social media punishes vulnerability and indecision, yet these are vital to real-world community building.
• Nuance is not moral ambiguity; the hard work post-outrage is actually changing things.

“What’s never straightforward in politics is what do you do next?... That is complicated and difficult work.”
—Katherine Cross, [44:13]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On illusions of meaningful action online:
  “What results is a public square where real people can get hurt, but nothing ever changes.”
  —Chris Duffy quoting Katherine Cross’s book, [12:05]

• On moving beyond performative posting:
  “The idea that social media has to be the only domain where you socialize has never been true... use social media as an index or as a phone book rather than as the place you treat as a community center.”
  —Katherine Cross, [34:20]

• On the risks of online vulnerability:
  “[Social media is] such a nasty place. Showing vulnerability is a very difficult thing to do on these platforms without taking an enormous risk.”
  —Katherine Cross, [42:52]

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Topic | |--------------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:02–01:00 | Chris’s introduction: social media as a challenge for “better human” aspirations | | 01:02–03:55 | Katherine Cross’s techno-optimist past and the turning points | | 06:02–06:45 | Katherine’s academic background and faith in possibility of change| | 08:22–10:24 | Distinguishing social media “action” from true politics | | 12:05–12:41 | Reading from Log Off on social media as “anti-political” | | 15:08–18:40 | How social media drives cynicism and undermines sincerity | | 22:03–24:18 | Three “orders” of online harassment explained | | 25:48–29:32 | Case studies in viral controversy and the danger of third-order harassment | | 29:32–33:12 | Affordances: how platforms encourage certain behaviors | | 33:27–36:17 | Should social media exist? The case for marginalized users | | 37:12–38:27 | Can better platforms fix it? Platform design limits | | 38:27–41:36 | Better alternatives to posting: goal-oriented, authentic engagement| | 41:36–44:11 | The importance of nuance, longform, and community offline/online | | 44:13–45:05 | Collective responsibility and real political change |

Key Takeaways & Actionable Insights

• Recognize what social media does—and does not—provide: It offers connection but is a poor substitute for deep community or political engagement.
• Be intentional: If using social media for activism, have a clear, actionable goal—and know how the platform can concretely contribute.
• Beware of performative posting: “Raising awareness” without delusion of impact risks wasting time and emotional energy.
• Prioritize vulnerability, sincerity, and nuance—especially offline: Real change is built through relationships and long-term, sometimes thankless, organizing.
• Shift from platform to process: Use social media as an index/finder, not an end in itself. Build relationships and communities in spaces less prone to virality and outrage.
• Understand the structures at play: Most harmful behaviors are encouraged—or at least enabled—by design, not just individual choices.
• Take collective, offline or longform action: Whether through organizing, in-depth discussion, or monetary support, these actions matter more than clicks and shares.

This episode is essential listening for anyone struggling with the tension between staying informed, being “a good person” online, and actually helping to build a better world. Katherine Cross’s perspective is nuanced, practical, and keenly aware of both the power and the dangers of living digitally.