How To Fail With Elizabeth Day
Episode: Alex Hassell – Rivals, Rejection and Taking Acid at Alton Towers
Date: December 10, 2025
Guests: Elizabeth Day (host), Alex Hassell (guest)
Live episode recorded at the Barbican, London
Episode Overview
This episode features actor Alex Hassell, most recently acclaimed for his turn as Rupert Campbell-Black in Disney's TV adaptation of Jilly Cooper's Rivals. Speaking live in front of an audience, Hassell reflects with candor and wit on his three personal ‘failures’: grappling with self-confidence, living with a severe onion allergy, and his self-professed inability to get into trouble. Throughout, Hassell and Elizabeth Day delve into the insecurities, peculiarities, and life lessons wrought from these failures and his acting career, weaving in stories about his upbringing, marriage, therapy, and even a psychedelic trip at Alton Towers.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Life Imitates Art: On Rivals, Fame, and Vulnerability
- Portraying Rupert Campbell-Black
- Hassell reflects on playing such an outwardly confident and "irrepressibly attractive bounder" (03:13) and the tension of embodying a character so far removed from his own self-image.
- He humorously details the practicalities of the role—like frequent spray tans and the infamous tennis court scene.
- “I smelt like biscuits for seven months.” (06:16, Alex)
- The tennis court scene, where Rupert is completely nude, represented an existential milestone for Alex.
- “Taking all of my clothes off and literally having nothing to hide behind. It’s like, either I am Rupert or I’m not.” (14:45, Alex)
- Cast Chemistry & On-Set Experience
- The Rivals set was unusually congenial, partly due to a deliberate casting ethos of checking references to ensure "no assholes."
- “They phoned four or five people that every one of us had worked with before to make sure that we were nice people and good to work with... If there’s no assholes on set, you’re the asshole, but I hope that’s not true!” (10:01, Alex)
- The Rivals set was unusually congenial, partly due to a deliberate casting ethos of checking references to ensure "no assholes."
2. Failure 1: A Lifetime of Self-Confidence Struggles
- Roots in Bullying
- Hassell discusses being picked on at school, especially regarding his sexuality, and how those formative years embedded self-doubt.
- “I thought that I was just a piece of shit in that sort of way…” (15:43, Alex)
- Hassell discusses being picked on at school, especially regarding his sexuality, and how those formative years embedded self-doubt.
- Slow-Burn Career and Internalized Rejection
- He shares the grind of the acting world, expecting early success, but finding instead “a slow drag up a steep hill.”
- “Every time I’d get a job that I would think would, like, cross over some line and get me somewhere else, it just sort of didn't.” (16:27, Alex)
- He shares the grind of the acting world, expecting early success, but finding instead “a slow drag up a steep hill.”
- Therapy, Growth, and Empathy
- Therapy has been instrumental, both personally and professionally:
- “I think I might have stopped acting had it not have been for my therapist.” (07:42, Alex)
- The paradox of needing both a “thin skin to be a good actor, and a thick skin to withstand being an actor” is a recurring theme. (07:46, Alex; 08:35, Elizabeth)
- Therapy has been instrumental, both personally and professionally:
- On Choosing Difficult Roles
- Alex is consistently drawn to parts that intimidate him, seeking creative, personal courage at the “edges” of his own talent.
- “I want to know how good an actor I am and find the edges of that out.” (21:50, Alex)
- Alex is consistently drawn to parts that intimidate him, seeking creative, personal courage at the “edges” of his own talent.
- Learning from 'Failure'
- Encourages reframing vulnerability as a unique strength:
- “If I have anything to offer as an actor... it’s my vulnerability, it’s the fineness, it’s the sensitivity... the things I wish I didn’t have so I could feel stronger to be an actor are potentially what help me... hopefully a good actor.” (45:50, Alex)
- Encourages reframing vulnerability as a unique strength:
3. Failure 2: The Allium Affliction—Life Without Onions (and Garlic, and...)
- The Awfulness of an Allium Allergy
- Alex is allergic to all alliums—onions, garlic, leeks, chives—causing severe physical distress.
- “God, I love onion and garlic. Fuck you. That’s what I’m thinking.” (29:20, Alex, joking)
- Discovery was gradual, following childhood stomach problems and continued issues into adulthood.
- The allergy frequently derails social and professional situations—he recounts an infamous incident vomitting on a churchgoer as a child. (30:55, Alex)
- Perpetual vigilance is required at restaurants and on set. On a film set, gas and air was the only thing that mitigated the pain:
- “I did the rest of the day totally off my tits, but I didn’t, I wasn’t puking. And actually, it was one of the best scenes in the film.” (32:56, Alex)
- Alex is allergic to all alliums—onions, garlic, leeks, chives—causing severe physical distress.
- Social Perceptions and Navigating Dining Out
- He humorously rails against the suspicion and skepticism food allergies often inspire:
- “It’s not an affectation!” (32:07, Alex)
- He humorously rails against the suspicion and skepticism food allergies often inspire:
4. Failure 3: Not Being (Badly) Behaved
- Painfully Responsible, Perpetually Early
- Alex admits to being “very obedient,” overly concerned with others’ comfort, and never quite matching the ‘cool’ profile expected now that he's famous.
- “Since Rivals has come out... have been invited to sexy events and I’m always the first person there.” (34:46, Alex)
- Alex admits to being “very obedient,” overly concerned with others’ comfort, and never quite matching the ‘cool’ profile expected now that he's famous.
- Family Background
- Raised by a vicar (father) and a hospice nurse (mother) who fostered children: a context of kindness, care, and service.
- “I wonder, weirdly, that I’ve had like a Jesus complex in terms of, like, wanting to put my needs behind those around me.” (37:12, Alex)
- Raised by a vicar (father) and a hospice nurse (mother) who fostered children: a context of kindness, care, and service.
- Work Ethic and People-Pleasing
- Describes trying to avoid disrupting crew members’ jobs, hanging up costumes to help others get home early, and ensuring a positive on-set environment.
5. Psychedelic Youthful Rebellion – Acid at Alton Towers
- Naughtiest Moment
- When pressed for his most rebellious act, Alex admits:
- “I did acid at Alton Towers. That was really interesting. When I was 16 or 17… we went in the 3D cinema and on like roller coasters. It was nuts.” (43:04, Alex)
- When pressed for his most rebellious act, Alex admits:
- Self-Reflection on Growing Up
- Recognizes that his twenties, “painful in my pain,” shaped a more cautious self but hints he’s eager to reclaim enjoyment and pride.
6. Family, Death, and Acting as Empathy
- Family Response to Risqué Roles
- Family was proud but “it was quite weird for them to watch some of it”; mother is unfazed—“I saw you when you were young. You looked exactly the same.” (41:41, Alex, quoting his mum)
- Lessons from a Vicar and a Hospice Nurse
- Talks openly about constant family conversations around death—a backdrop to performing and seeking connection on deeper themes. Acting, for him, is about shared humanity and empathy:
- “If I can play parts that people see aspects of themselves reflected and they feel a bit better about their experience or less alone... I think I want that for myself and therefore want to attempt to give it to other people.” (37:57, Alex)
- Talks openly about constant family conversations around death—a backdrop to performing and seeking connection on deeper themes. Acting, for him, is about shared humanity and empathy:
7. The Factory Theatre & Embracing Risk
- Improvisational Theatre as Artistic Crucible
- Co-founded Factory Theatre, dedicated to maximal risk-taking on stage—random props, unrehearsed blocking, shifting roles.
- “We played a festival at four in the morning when everyone, including us, were high as kites.” (23:28, Alex)
- Recounts emotional moments—like doing Hamlet’s “what a piece of work is man” while holding his infant nephew, moved to tears. (24:39, Alex)
- Co-founded Factory Theatre, dedicated to maximal risk-taking on stage—random props, unrehearsed blocking, shifting roles.
8. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “To be a good actor, I think you have to have a very, very thin skin, and to withstand being an actor, you have to have a very, very thick skin.” (07:46, Alex)
- “Acting can be a bit like being in an abusive relationship… sometimes you feel like the most important and the best and the most sort of seen and loved... and then it’s just taken away.” (08:55, Alex)
- “I want to know how good an actor I am and find the edges of that out.” (21:50, Alex)
- “It’s not like I’m a massive nervous wreck all the time. It’s definitely not, you know, I’m capable of working… Please employ me if you are a director and here—I’m not that much of a mess.” (20:38, Alex)
- On his allergy: “God, I love onion and garlic. Fuck you. That’s what I’m thinking.” (29:20, Alex, making the audience laugh)
- On work ethic and decency: “I want to hang my costume up at the end of the day so that they [crew] can go home as early as I can go home.” (37:57, Alex)
- Stage superstition facts: “So, why you don’t say good luck, you say break a leg... The piece of wood on the crank for the curtain was called a leg. So if the play went so well, you had to bow so many times, they’d bounce the curtain so much that it would break the leg.” (46:25, Alex)
Important Timestamps
- 03:13 – Introduction and background on Alex Hassell’s career and Rivals role
- 05:39 – On season two of Rivals and set experiences
- 06:16 – The tribulations of spray tans
- 07:46 – On therapy’s role in acting and the paradox of actor's ‘skin’
- 10:01 – Describing the camaraderie and casting philosophy on Rivals
- 13:40 – On self-confidence as a recurring challenge
- 14:45 – Vulnerability of the tennis court nude scene
- 15:43 – Recounting school bullying and its impact
- 21:50 – Fascination with difficult, intimidating roles
- 22:30 – Factory Theatre’s philosophy and memorable moments
- 29:13 – The severity of Alex’s allergy to the allium family
- 34:46 – On his law-abiding, early-arriving persona
- 37:12 – Family upbringing’s influence on his sense of responsibility
- 41:26 – Family reactions to Rivals and his roles
- 43:04 – Tripping on acid at Alton Towers as a teenager
- 45:50 – How vulnerability is the root of his acting strength
- 46:25 – Origins of “break a leg” and other stage superstitions
Tone & Atmosphere
- Warm, humorous, self-deprecating, and candid.
- Hassell is thoughtful and articulate about fear and vulnerability, but lightens the conversation with comic timing and vivid anecdotes.
- Day balances admiration with relatable self-revelations and supportive curiosity, fostering an open and safe environment.
Conclusion
This episode is a nuanced, funny, and poignant examination of failure—not as something to hide, but as a foundation for creativity, empathy, and (eventually) self-acceptance. Alex Hassell’s openness about insecurity, physical and psychological vulnerabilities, and his earnest desire for connection both on and off screen, offers a version of success that rings far deeper than public acclaim. Listeners come away with not just stories of audition fiascos and dietary disasters, but an argument for why it’s okay—even necessary—to embrace our not-so-perfect selves.
[End of episode summary]