Emilia Clarke - ‘I’m A Bad Celebrity’ - How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Transcript

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I was just convinced that I had cheated death and I was meant to die. I'm a bad celebrity. I suck at it. I finally feel like I'm at a place in my career now where I'm like, I get it.

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This episode of how to Fail is brought to you by Dove Whole Body Deodorant. Welcome to how to Fail, the podcast that believes, as James Joyce once said, that failures are the portals of self discovery. Before we get into this episode, please do remember to like follow and subscribe so that you never miss a single conversation. In 1987, a newborn baby is abandoned in a remote spot. Nobody goes down that lane.

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Why would you think anyone would have picked me up from there? For decades, Jess has searched for answers. Why didn't that person want me?

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But as she gets closer to the

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truth, things spiral out of her control. I think I'll always be angry. Could it have ended differently? From Tortoise Investigates and the observer, this is Foundling. Lies always come out, don't they? Skeletons are always going to come out eventually. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. This episode is brought to you by Prime Obsession is in session. And this summer, Prime Originals have everything you want. Steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book to screen favorites you've already read twice off campus Elle every year after the Love Hypothesis, Sterling Point and more slow burns, second chances chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next obsession is waiting.

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Watch only on Prime Emilia Clarke was three when she sat on her mother's lap on the front row of the London Palladium watching a production of Showboat that her sound engineer father had worked on. She was, she recalled later, transfixed and set her heart on becoming an actor almost 20 years later. Her TV debut was a guest appearance on the BBC soap Doctors in 2000. Then, at the age of 23, Clark was cast as Daenerys Targaryen, mother of Dragons, in HBO's juggernaut fantasy series Game of Thrones. She received four Emmy nominations across eight seasons and became internationally famous, going on to star in films including Genisys, A Star Wars Story, and the romantic comedy Me before youe. On stage, she won critical acclaim for her magnetic performance as Nina in the Seagull in the West End. But the fact that she had been a complete unknown at the time of her Game of Thrones audition left Clarke feeling she had, in her words, imposter syndrome times a million. It was not her only challenge. In 2011, just after filming had wrapped on the debut season, she suffered the first of two life threatening Brain aneurysms, a shattering experience that later led to her setting up the charity Same you with her mother. Jenny Clark's charity work in neurorehabilitation earned her an MBE in the 2024 honours list. Now she returns to our screens in Ponies, a Cold War spy series on sky and Now TV. Clark stars as one of the two US embassy secretaries in late 1970s Moscow who become CIA operatives after their husbands die in mysterious circumstances. Still yet to turn 40. That happens later this year. Clarke's acting career has been one of notable highs, but she says if there's anything else you can do, do that, because acting has to be the only thing you can do to commit to the levels of failure. Emilia Clarke, welcome to How To Fail.

Summary

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Episode: Emilia Clarke – ‘I’m A Bad Celebrity’
Date: May 13, 2026
Host: Elizabeth Day
Guest: Emilia Clarke

Episode Overview

This engaging episode of "How To Fail" welcomes acclaimed actress Emilia Clarke (“Game of Thrones,” “Me Before You,” upcoming “Ponies”) for an open-hearted conversation about failure, resilience, friendship, and what it means to live authentically in the face of public expectation. Emilia explores her three chosen failures—maths, recovery, and fame—drawing on personal anecdotes, professional trials, and deeply moving reflections about her father, her life-threatening brain aneurysms, and her often overwhelming experience with celebrity.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "Ponies," Female Friendship, and Speaking Russian

(03:57 – 07:55)

Clarke’s New Project: The episode opens with mutual praise for Emilia’s new Cold War spy series, “Ponies,” which she describes as a celebration of “pure friendship. There’s no… It’s just friends. Just female friendship, which is, you know, the most important part of my life.” (04:26/04:34)
Production Challenges: The series marks the first time Emilia both starred in and produced a show, describing it as “the hardest job I’ve ever done…nearly impossible to do was the Russian. Yeah, I speak a lot of Russian.” (04:51/04:56)
Learning Russian: Emilia explains her memory palace technique, turning syllables into stories and placing them in familiar mental spaces. “You have a Russian line and each word broken into its syllables…then you make those into a story…then you put that story in a space that you know very well.” (06:05/06:50)
Memorable moment: Emilia jokes about the real outtakes being “just swearing profusely every time I mess it up.” (07:27)

2. Failure One: Maths

(09:41 – 12:51)

Lifelong Struggle: “Maths and numbers. I just can’t do it. There’s this word for being essentially dyslexic with numbers.” (09:46)
Family Dynamics: Emilia describes feeling like “the dummy” in a mathematically gifted family, and the particular pain of disappointing her father.
Stage Mishap: On stage in “The Seagull,” co-star Tom Rees Harris riffed on prime numbers, leaving Emilia panicked. “I went white. I’m crying. He…said, ‘I’m so sorry. I saw you crumble.’” (10:48)
Impact: The inability with numbers followed Emilia “throughout my whole school career,” even affecting her pre-fame bar job: “I lost them money because people would give me a 20 and I would probably give that right back.” (12:39)

3. The Transformative Loss of Her Father

(17:12 – 24:13)

Emotional Core: Discussion of numbers naturally leads to a deeply moving segment about Emilia’s late father—a sound engineer, “an incredibly sensitive, kind, loving, gorgeous man.” (11:49)
Profound Grief: “I’ve had two brain hemorrhages, I’ve had Game of Thrones and nothing—there is nothing worse [than losing my father]. It’s the single most transformative thing that’s ever happened…like the safety net of the world has gone.” (17:23/17:40)
Spiritual Encounter: Emilia shares the story of traveling home from the US, her dream of her father saying goodbye, and the butterfly that appeared when she returned: “Now I just see my dad in butterflies everywhere…He’s absolutely everywhere.” (22:41 – 23:17)
Quote: “What happens after we die, we don’t know, but one thing’s for certain is that we go back into the world.” (23:15)

4. Failure Two: Recovery

(24:21 – 44:38)

Aneurysm, Shame, Denial

First Brain Hemorrhage: Occurred just after “Game of Thrones” Season One. Emilia described extreme embarrassment and the urge to hide her vulnerability: “I was so ashamed that this thing had happened and that the people who had employed me might see me as weak or...could be broken.” (26:33)
People-Pleasing: She didn’t reveal her illness to anyone on set except the showrunners: “I just didn’t want anyone to know.” (27:16)

The Second Aneurysm and Aftermath

Medical Crisis: A second aneurysm years later required major surgery after an initial failed operation: “They had to cut my head open and clamp it…The doctors would just come down every half an hour going: we think she’s going to die…She’s fine.” (33:10 – 34:18)
Long-Term Effects: Recovery involved emotional shutdown: “I shut down emotionally… just convinced I had cheated death and I was meant to die. Every day...that’s all I could think about.” (35:28)
Working Through Trauma: Emilia returned to work (including San Diego Comic Con) just six weeks after her second operation. “If I’m going to die, I’ll do it on live TV!” (37:11)

The Cost of Not Recovering

Lack of Self-Compassion: “I didn’t do any of the things. I did not take care of myself. I did not give myself any grace.” (38:55)
Delayed Healing: Only recently has Emilia truly addressed the hidden fallout: “The repercussions that I had as a result of my brain injury are all things hilariously that I’ve only just fixed.” (37:01)
Medical Diagnosis: Revealed she lives with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and MCAS; finally found effective treatment recently: “I have this remarkable doctor in America and he’s just fixed everything. And I feel great.” (44:09)

5. Failure Three: Fame

(44:38 – 51:37)

Not Made For Celebrity: “I’m a bad celebrity. I suck at it…It wasn’t to be famous. It was to be creative and be an actor.” (44:46/46:21)
Impact of Illness: Intense fatigue from her health battles left her unable to keep up with the expected ‘celebrity’ social scene. “Too much, I find a bit overwhelming.” (46:17)
Authenticity vs. Expectation: “Sometimes I just found myself in certain rooms where I was just like, I’m not meant to be here...I felt like a big fat loser.” (46:45/46:57)
Stalking & Panic Attacks: Emilia reflects on negative aspects of exposure, including stalkers and anxiety: “As soon as I got recognized…used to get panic attacks. Like, I just couldn’t handle it, really.” (48:01)
Shifting Perspective: “It does not feel overwhelming anymore…feels lovely, just gives me a little boost.” (50:07)
No Self-Googling: “Never googled myself. My dad was reading the newspaper—there was some article in it about the size of my bum. It was read to me and destroyed me. Completely destroyed me.” (50:42/51:03)
20s vs 40s: “You spend your 20s and 30s trying to be somebody else, and then your 40s are the moment when you go back to who you actually are.” (52:13)

6. Brow Advice, Beauty Standards & Self-Acceptance

(52:44 – 55:11)

Light-Hearted End: Discussion about Emilia’s famous eyebrows and her mother’s advice: “Don’t do drugs, don’t have sex, don’t do anything to your brows.” (53:15)
On Beauty Pressure: Emilia is concerned about beauty standards: “It breaks my heart that that is where we are right now. Women should do whatever they want…But I do believe that we just are beautiful, you know? You just are.” (53:54)
Finding Self-Knowledge: “I hope that they’re making the choices from a place of what you want…from self knowledge…and life is an unpacking back to that point.” (55:11/55:24)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“When you are dealing with fatigue after a brain injury, it’s real. I walked into my hotel room and I collapsed. And I woke up the next morning exactly where I’d fallen.” (45:15)
“I was just convinced that I had cheated death and I was meant to die.” (00:00/35:28)
“Some people are born for fame…historically, that hasn’t been me. Now I’m like, hell yeah, party sounds fun, but because I feel good with it.” (51:23)
On surviving two aneurysms: “Without my work, I don’t know what I would have done.” (37:02)
On her father: “Every good thing that ever happens—you know it’s them. And I feel that.” (23:46)
On authenticity: “I finally feel like I’m at a place in my career now where I’m like, I get it.” (50:14/00:00)

Timestamps for Key Segments

Opening reflections & the new series "Ponies" – 03:57–07:55
First failure: Maths & childhood – 09:41–12:51
On losing her father & grief – 17:12–24:13
Second failure: Recovery from brain injuries – 24:21–44:38
Third failure: Struggle with fame – 44:38–51:37
Beauty, brows, and self-acceptance – 52:44–55:11

Tone & Takeaway

The conversation is intimate, raw, and often humorous, with Emilia’s vibrancy and Elizabeth’s empathy shining through. Listeners are left with a potent sense of the complexity behind apparent success: the private struggles, lifelong vulnerabilities, and transformative personal growth that accompany the “failures” of even the most admired public figures. Clarke’s candor about illness, grief, and self-acceptance provides hope and relatability—a reminder that a fail shared truly is a fail halved.