How To Fail With Elizabeth Day – Kelly Brook: “I’m In My Don’t Give A Damn Era!”

Podcast: How To Fail With Elizabeth Day
Host: Elizabeth Day
Guest: Kelly Brook
Release Date: November 12, 2025

Episode Overview

In this compelling and emotionally candid episode, Elizabeth Day welcomes model, actress, presenter and radio host Kelly Brook. Together, they explore themes of failure, self-acceptance, and resilience, focusing on Kelly’s journey through working-class guilt, public scrutiny, heartbreak, loss, and the evolving sense of self-worth that has led her to what she describes as her “Don’t Give a Damn Era.” Along the way, Kelly opens up about her family dynamics, the pressures of fame and body image, and her decision not to have children after a traumatic miscarriage. The episode is notable for its blend of warmth, vulnerability, and wit.

Key Topics & Insights

1. The “Don’t Give A Damn Era” & Career Evolution

• Kelly’s Journey: Kelly reflects on the journey from glamour modeling in the 90s (with its intense sexualization and double standards) to her current life as a respected presenter and panelist.
• On Being Limitless: Her husband, Jeremy Parisi, often tells her, “everyone knows Kelly is beautiful, but what they don’t know is she’s a woman with whom everything is possible. There are no limits” (03:20).
• Mutual Growth: Kelly shares that meeting Jeremy made her realize how limiting her self-perceptions had been and how their partnership gave them both confidence:
  “He makes me feel like anything’s possible, so I think it’s a mutual thing.” (03:53)

2. Deciding to Join “I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!”

• Facing Fears: Kelly previously vowed never to do reality TV, particularly “I’m a Celebrity,” but changed her mind after advising a friend to embrace opportunity:
  “It’s about time that I kind of live my don’t give a damn era.” (07:44)
• Preparation and Anxieties: She shares both the practical (hair removal, cutting out caffeine) and psychological ways of preparing, admitting to “terrified of everything” and an increase in phobias as she’s grown older (09:12).
• On Relinquishing Control: She looks forward to the “liberating” aspect of giving up her phone, having done it previously for another reality show (10:18).

Memorable Quote

“I realized it was just basically out of fear … now I want to do something for me.” (11:40)

3. Failure 1: Failing to Acknowledge Success – Working-Class Guilt

• Early Family Dynamics: Kelly’s father was a scaffolder, her mother a cook. She “came from a very normal working-class background,” but success (and money) came rapidly in her late teens.
  • “I came from a very normal working-class background, but success came to me very quickly ... and you realize that actually doesn’t change those things … you can’t change people or dynamics.” (15:09)
• Alienation and “Kelly’s World”: Creating her own “world” through showbiz brought both opportunity and isolation:
  “My mom would call it Kelly’s World … but that’s really alienating and quite a lonely place to be.” (16:35)
• Early Sexualization of Girls in Media: Kelly discusses being sexualized at 16 and how it was at odds with her “soul.”
  “I’ve never felt like a sexy woman … my physical appearance and my soul are like two different things.” (18:17)

4. 90s Culture & Public Scrutiny

• Reflections on Media Treatment: Kelly recognizes the cruelty and bullying that characterized 90s media:
  “Media really dictated everyone’s opinion about who you were... it was dominated ... by cruel writers, bullies, really.” (22:25)
• Success & Relatability: In Britain especially, she felt it was “not our comfortable place” to celebrate achievements. When living in America, she was struck by their cultural difference:
  “The American culture is to always, you know, big yourself up … and I just don’t think we have that in the UK.” (23:37)

5. Redefining Success

• Personal Life over Work: Now, success means her marriage, health, and relationships, not professional achievement at all costs:
  “My marriage is just the best thing in my life ... in the past, I was young and selfish ... I just don’t feel like I’m in that place now.” (24:42)

6. Failure 2: Failure to Put Up Boundaries

• Codependency and People-Pleasing: Kelly discusses how she’s learned that being a people-pleaser didn’t serve her:
  “I have been in the past such a people pleaser … as I get older I’ve become more of a selfish bitch and I don’t really care anymore.” (29:27)
• Relationships & Growth: She shares openly about ending a relationship with Jason Statham, choosing her own path even at cost, and realizing she had neglected herself (32:35).
• Mother-Daughter Dynamics: Growing up with a young mother blurred boundaries, leading to codependence and the hard-won lesson that boundaries are vital for personal growth.

7. Failure 3: Not Having a Family (Miscarriage and Acceptance)

• Kelly’s Miscarriage: She recounts a traumatic miscarriage at six months and describes the “shame” and “failure” surrounding loss and childlessness:
  “I do feel that as a failure because that was my baby … even though I probably wouldn’t still be with the father ... I do feel like I would have been a good mum.” (48:37)
• Shifting Narrative: Kelly and Elizabeth bond over the experience of miscarriage and speak out about non-traditional paths to fulfillment and nurturing:
  Elizabeth: “There are so many different ways to mother and parent in this world and that’s how you show up.” (44:23)
  Kelly: “You can be a nurturer of so many different things … gardening brought out some really amazing things in my life.” (48:09)
• Public Silence: Kelly describes not giving her baby a name or keeping mementos, in part because at the time, “miscarriage wasn’t something we talked about … it was very shameful.” (43:00)
• Moving On Without Guilt:
  “It’s okay to feel pain, but it’s also okay to move on with your life. … I’ve never felt guilty about moving on with my life, but I can’t say that, I’m not devastated that that happened.” (50:10)

8. Body Acceptance & Current Pressures

• On Body Image Then vs. Now: Kelly tells a shocking story of being offered weight loss medication (Mounjaro) unsolicited:
  “I was offered Mounjaro literally last week by a doctor … I love my body. I absolutely love my body. I ran a marathon this year, and I’m 45.” (37:53, 38:29)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Mutual Empowerment in Relationships:
  “We gave each other confidence to just live our dreams and do things maybe we wouldn’t have done before.” — Kelly Brook (03:56)

• On Public Scrutiny:
  “When social media came along, it kind of humanized us in a way that had never happened before, because all of a sudden we had our voice and we could talk and say what we felt...” — Kelly Brook (22:25)

• On Navigating Miscarriage:
  “I just chose not to [name the baby] ... it was something you kind of hid away. It felt like you’d failed. It was very shameful ... everyone I’d known who got pregnant had their baby.” — Kelly Brook (43:00)

• On Growth & Identity:
  “I needed to grow as a woman, as a person. … It’s only until you’ve broken a heart or had your heart broken that you have that kind of feeling. I think you’ve got to go through it all.” — Kelly Brook (33:01)

• On “Don’t Give A Damn” Era Mantra:
  “Confidence over consensus, doing what feels right and not what’s expected of you … authenticity over image, freedom over fear, saying no without guilt and yes without hesitation. Creative boldness … breaking down your own rules and not caring if everyone gets it.” — Kelly Brook (52:17)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – Kelly introduces her modeling boundaries and how she’s changed; the shock of being offered a weight loss drug.
• 03:41 – Kelly on partnership with Jeremy Parisi and their mutual support.
• 07:14 – Why Kelly is finally doing “I’m a Celebrity,” overcoming fear.
• 10:18 – On giving up her phone and real-life comforts for the show.
• 11:18 – Entering the “Don’t Give a Damn Era” at age 46; embracing authenticity.
• 15:09 – Discussing working-class guilt and family dynamics.
• 18:17 – Being sexualized young, dissonance between image and self-perception.
• 22:25 – The impact of 90s British media and lack of agency for women.
• 24:42 – Defining success now as personal happiness, especially marriage.
• 27:35 – The challenge of boundaries, people pleasing, and learning to say no.
• 32:35 – Leaving Jason Statham, growth, and heartbreak.
• 37:53 – Body image, weight loss culture, and loving her body.
• 40:33 – Trying (and losing) her first pregnancy; grief and processing loss.
• 44:53 – The different ways women process and speak about miscarriage.
• 50:10 – Acceptance, moving on, and redefining meaning and motherhood.
• 52:17 – Kelly’s current guiding philosophies and living with confidence.

Tone & Language

Kelly Brook is candid, self-reflective, and often darkly humorous—self-deprecating but ultimately forgiving of herself. Elizabeth Day maintains a warm, empathetic tone throughout, drawing out deep themes with sensitivity. Both are conversational and honest, often breaking the fourth wall to connect with listeners directly, particularly when discussing issues of shame, grief, and societal expectation.

Conclusion

This episode stands out for its honesty, insight, and connection—not only between guest and host, but with the audience. Whether discussing relationships, body image, personal tragedy, or how to thrive after failure, Kelly Brook reveals the strength that comes from vulnerability. Her “Don’t Give A Damn Era” is less about rebellion than the courage to live according to one’s own values and desires—a lesson that resonates far beyond celebrity or circumstance.

For Further Listening:

Look for the next episode of How to Fail With Elizabeth Day, or revisit past episodes for more intimate and inspiring explorations of life’s most instructive failures.