Letitia Wright - ‘I was bullied… now I’m Black Panther’

Summary

Podcast Summary: How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Episode: Letitia Wright – ‘I was bullied… now I’m Black Panther’
Host: Elizabeth Day
Guest: Letitia Wright
Date: October 1, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features acclaimed actress Letitia Wright, best known for her role as Shuri in “Black Panther,” as she shares her journey through three formative failures and the lessons they taught her. The conversation covers Letitia’s upbringing in Guyana and London, her early challenges in acting, navigating online bullying, the complexities of fame, directing her first short film, and the impact of grief in her life. Letitia’s candor offers insight into resilience, self-acceptance, and the enduring importance of purpose.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Childhood & Early Passions (04:05 – 10:00)

• Growing Up in Guyana and Adjusting to London
  • Letitia describes her idyllic, simple childhood in rural Guyana, caring for animals and living close to nature, contrasted with her sudden immersion in cold, bustling London at age eight. The need to quickly adapt sparked her early “actor’s” skills:

    “I had to adapt. At school, people would...be looking at my accent… so they can understand me. I adapted very quickly and then I just accepted like, yeah, this is my new life.” (05:00)

• Early Drive for Acting
  • Inspired by leading actresses like Naomie Harris and Keke Palmer, Letitia would take headshot selfies in her bathroom and deliver them to casting agents as a teen. She reenacted scenes from films, once accidentally recording over her cousin’s wedding video—an early bittersweet sacrifice for her passion:

    “I sat down, and it was just that moment of like, Tish, you have to make it…because you just recorded over your cousin's wedding...” (07:00)

---

Meaningful Work and the “Superwoman” Schema (08:39 – 10:00)

• Letitia discusses her latest stage play, not yout Superwoman, which examines the generational struggles and pressures black women face to always be strong, never falter, and never take time to heal.

  “That notion of superwoman schema…we can't stay down for too long. We have to pick ourselves up and keep going. And we're never allowed a break in society. To feel, to heal, to hurt, to experience.” (09:15)

---

The Breakthrough: Black Panther (10:00 – 12:58)

• Landing the Role & Dealing with Imposter Syndrome
  • Letitia was wary of the Marvel machine, purposely not researching the full cast or even which film she was auditioning for, focusing solely on the character. She recalls extreme anxiety before the audition with Chadwick Boseman:

    “I was this close to not going on that plane to do that screen test… because of the negative thoughts. And I just had to just be brave and say, this is my moment. Whatever happens... just focus on this part.” (11:10)

  • On the significance:

    “Everything I prayed about, everything I wanted to be, everything I wanted to manifest in terms of purpose, is literally on that screen.” (12:45)

---

Three Failures That Shaped Letitia Wright

1. Bombed Audition at 17 (13:23 – 18:58)

• The Experience:
  Nerves overcame her during a high-stakes audition, resulting in a self-described “first big failure” that left her questioning her future in acting.
• Coping & Lesson:
  Letitia internalized the failure but eventually saw it as a test of character:

  “Sometimes things happen that you may want, you know, so badly... it tests your character. Like, who will you be after this point?... Will you accept that failure... or will you just let it shape you and make you better?” (15:10)

• On Support:
  Her family encouraged her, but the battle was internal. She notes this was the start of the mindset struggles that would later lead to depression.

  “Though I had the support, it was also a mental and a personal and internal battle that I had to conquer for myself.” (16:34)

• The Struggle with Acceptance:
  Early on, Letitia grappled with wanting acceptance from others, and learning not to let rejection define her self-worth.

---

2. Online Bullying after Top Boy (25:32 – 33:21)

• The Experience:
  At 18, after “Top Boy” aired, Letitia was targeted by brutal online bullying focusing on her appearance and body, not her acting.

  “For me, it felt like the whole of London, all the young people in London, gathered on the Internet and trolled me.” (26:25)

  • The comments triggered profound pain and self-doubt:

    “At 18, when you see these things, you instantly believe them. You instantly go into a hole… I locked myself into my room for like a week. And I'd refused to go to college. I didn't want to go, so I stayed in my room. I would cry, I wouldn't eat.” (27:00)

• Navigating the Pain:
  Public success felt tainted by private suffering. The bullying even continued at college.

  “I remember, like, getting my lunch and having nowhere to sit… I'd go to the drama room... sit by myself… like, crying and being like, this is mad. Like, this is my dream, so why do I feel so bad?” (30:00)

• The Turning Point:
  Letitia realized she had to do the work for herself, irrespective of others’ opinions.

  “No matter what anyone says about me... I have to do this for me. Because this is my dream, this is my talent. This is something God has given to me, and I have to see it through.” (31:30)

• Link to Depression:
  Letitia identifies these experiences as seeds that compounded into early-twenties depression.

  “It was just like this halting moment of, like, you need to stop, because all of these experiences have fed into this lie that this defines you, and you're not where you want to be, and your career is not where you need it to be. So you failed.” (34:10)

---

3. Directing Debut & “Highway to the Moon” (40:35 – 48:19)

• The Experience: Letitia made her short film inspired by the tragic loss of her friend’s brother. Despite her passion, the production was marred by setbacks—people leaving, technical issues, and self-doubt.

  “Every step of the way, it just felt like something was just trying to knock me off this path...I immediately underestimated myself...there was an imposter syndrome happening.” (41:05) “I really felt like I failed because I was like, it doesn't make sense why everyone's just leaving. Did I make a bad film? I surely probably did.” (45:38)

• Resilience and Resolution:
  Letitia nearly shelved the film, but kept submitting it—small acts of protest against negative thoughts. It was ultimately accepted into major festivals, celebrated by colleagues, and recognized for its beauty and assurance.

  “Every time you did that, something greater was on the other side… So there’s a pattern here. Life is not always going to be a great, easy, smooth experience. There’s going to be bumps in the road. But on the other side of that, something’s awaiting you, and you just don’t know until you keep going.” (47:12)

---

Deeper Themes

The Double-Edged Sword of Fame (19:10 – 23:32)

• Letitia discusses the responsibilities and pressures of fame, and the importance of maintaining her private life and integrity.
  • On surreal celebrity encounters:

    “Naomie Harris… I wanted her to be my mentor…She’s now like a big sister to me. Meeting Denzel was, like, really cool. I think that’s my favorite one. Denzel Washington.” (20:22)

  • Denzel’s prescient encouragement:

    “He also called me out. He was like, you're gonna be a director. And I was like, what the heck?… He’s just like, yeah, you look like you’re going to direct.” (22:14)

Processing Grief & Finding Purpose (48:48 – 53:07)

• Letitia describes processing the loss of Chadwick Boseman (“my brother”) and her own aunt, and how art has become a vessel for healing and honoring the departed.

  “…it’s a different type of hurt. It’s a different type of pain. So as the years go by, it gets a little bit gentler on the heart, but it attacks you in different ways. I have a love hate relationship with grief.” (49:48)

• Elizabeth’s homage:

  “The stories you tell and the meaning you bring to the world are what keep everything alive…It’s the ultimate act of bringing meaning to that passing.” (52:16)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Letitia on self-acceptance:

  “That North Star remains the same… I absolutely still love [the industry], but I still keep it to a distance in terms of the potential it has to influence me in the wrong way.” (38:40)

• On failure as a pattern for growth:

  “Every time you said no, whether it’s by forward movement of, like, submissions…That's like a little protest against the negative thoughts. Every time you did that, something greater was on the other side.” (47:18)

• Elizabeth Day on why Letitia’s story matters:

  “The stories you tell and the meaning you bring to the world are what keep everything alive. They're the stories that help us to see ourselves and to process our grief. It's the ultimate act of generosity.” (52:16)

---

Lighter Moments (53:11 – Episode End)

• Letitia’s Feel-Good Comfort Watches:
  • Everybody Hates Chris (TV)
  • Juno (Movie)
• Not-so-feel-good “Escape” Pick:

  “Lovely Bones is your feel good movie?” (Elizabeth, 53:47)
  “Feel good. Damn it. You said escape.” (Letitia, 53:49)

• Elizabeth’s Closing Praise:

  “You are completely magnificent. Thank you. And I am so grateful that a legit Marvel superhero has graced the How To Fail studio…” (54:04)

---

Summary Table: Key Failures & Lessons

| Failure | Response | Lesson Learned | |--------------------------------------------------|---------------------------------------|----------------------------------------------------------------| | Audition bomb at 17 | Overcame self-doubt & persisted | Rejection doesn’t define you; let failures make you better | | Online bullying after Top Boy | Withdrew, then rebuilt self-worth | Must do it for yourself—not for others’ approval | | Losing faith during first short film (Highway to the Moon) | Persisted through obstacles & burnout | On the other side of setbacks is often unexpected triumph |

---

Final Reflections

Letitia Wright’s journey is a testament to embracing vulnerability, learning from setbacks, and using pain as fuel for purpose and creative expression. Her openness about struggle and growth offers hope and solidarity to listeners at any stage of their own journey.

---

Listen to this episode for a full, heartfelt account of resilience and authenticity in creative life.

Transcript

[Letitia Wright]

For me, it felt like the whole of London, all the young people in London, gathered on the Internet and trolled me. Back then, you didn't know. I didn't know that there was such thing as counseling or therapy. These are things I never said before.

[Elizabeth Day]

Welcome to how to Fail Now. This is the podcast where every week I ask my guest about three times they think they failed in their life and what they learned along the way. Before we get into this conversation, please do remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode of how to Fail.

[Letitia Wright]

Foreign.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Van Ness From Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness, it's easy to feel hopeless, but we don't have to stay there. I'm all about finding places where we can turn that energy into hope and into action. One of those places is Americans United for Separation of Church and State. Americans United, or au, is this quiet but mighty force working every day to preserve freedom without favor and equality without exception. I am so obsessed with that tagline. And let me tell you something, honey, that wall between church and state, paper thin. It's got a leak, honey. It's one of the last safeguards protecting so many of our rights. So right now, from bodily autonomy to LGBTQ + rights to the future of public schools, to me, this is about creating a world where everyone gets to live as themselves. As long as you're not harming anyone else. Now is not the time to curl up and hide. It's the time to link arms and stand together for a better future. Join Americans United for Separation of Church and State and their growing movement. Because church, state separation protects us all. All. Learn more and join the [e-mail] better. Let's go. Americans United.

[WhatsApp Advertiser]

When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites, and pin messages so no one forgets mom's 60th and never miss a meal or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail] Letitia Wright always had an.

[Elizabeth Day]

Inner feeling that she was destined to do something big. From her early childhood in Guyana to her teenage years in Tottenham, North London, she carried this feeling with her. Starting to experiment with acting as a child, she would reenact scenes from her favorite movies, recording one character's part on her lap, then playing them back and acting the other characters too. When a teacher suggested she join an after school drama club, her course was set and by 15, she was taking headshot selfies in the bathroom mirror and hand delivering them to casting agents. By 17, she had her first professional gig on Holby City. A stellar career has followed from parts in Top Boy and Black Mirror, to her dazzling performance as Shuri in Black Pan and its sequel Wakanda Forever, to winning the BAFTA Rising star Award in 2019, starring in Steve McQueen's Small Acts and directing the short film highway to the Moon. Along the way, she experienced and dealt with periods of depression and anxiety. She credits her faith, family and friends for getting her through. Wright is currently appearing on stage at London's the Bush Theatre in a sold out run of not yout Superwoman, a new play written by Emma Dennis Edwards and co starring Bridgerton actress Golda Roshavel. The production has garnered rave reviews. It's an impressive CV for someone who is still only 31, but who continues to describe herself as just a young kid on the inside with the big dream. Letitia Wright, welcome to how to Fail.

[Letitia Wright]

Thank you. That is the most beautiful introduction to ever written. Oh, thank you. So lovely. No, it means a lot.

[Elizabeth Day]

I was very moved by that child. First of all, growing up in Guyana, spending your first eight years there, you were a country girl, weren't you?

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah, I really did not know I was a country girl. Honestly, like, I thought I was just quite normal. But yes, I grew up like feeding the chickens and looking after the cows. I just thought that was a normal way of living until years later I would return to Guyana and then I would say, I'm a city girl. And they're like, no you're not, you're a country girl. You grew up in the countryside. And I was like, I did. It was just simple. Everything was just so simple back then.

[Elizabeth Day]

Did it feel more complicated immediately when you came to England?

[Letitia Wright]

Absolutely. I was eight and I was like, why is it so cold? It was just a culture shift. Not only the weather but also with my accent and just the world. Just everything about London was different. There was different types of opportunities, but it was just a different way of living and we had to adapt very quickly. And I felt like that's where the acting skills started to kick in. You know, I had to adapt. At school, people would like be looking at my accents. The kids would be like, what are you trying to say? And had to go home and look at myself in the mirror and try to copy a British accent or copy the kids so they can understand me. I adapted very quickly and then I just accepted like, yeah, this is my New life. And this is where my family have decided to reside. And, you know, I will take all the opportunities that I can and make the most of it, and I did.

[Elizabeth Day]

I imagine that whole shape shifting is so useful for your craft. But I wanted to ask you about the tapes that you used to make of yourself, reciting lines from your favorite movies. Is it true that you got into trouble with your aunts?

[Letitia Wright]

Yes, I got into a lot of trouble with my aunt. And at a young age or teenage years, you know, I didn't have a lot of friends, so I'd stay inside and watch movies on my laptop, and I'd watch movies with leading actresses. You know, I'd watch Naomi Harris. I'd watch Keke Palmer. I remember watching Winter's Bone and really falling in love with. With. With her character and just feeling like, oh, my goodness, like, I would love to play a part like that. And I'd print out the lines and literally recite it. And then I took it too far. One day, my aunt has this camera, and she recorded my cousin's wedding on it. And I picked up this camera, and I was just like, you know, forget the laptop. I need to record myself doing a monologue. And I recorded over the wedding. Oh, my goodness. And I thought I was crying and everything in the monologue really, like, giving it. I'm the only one who's viewed it, by the way, up to this point. And then my aunt just one day was just silent in the house. And my aunt's like, letitia, oh, my God. What is wrong with this girl? And I was like, auntie Anne, what's wrong? And she was just like, oh, Lord God. You're recorded over the. You're recorded over Rachel's wedding. And, oh, my God. My aunt was so upset, and it just. I shouldn't have done that, right? I was, what, like, 13, 14? And I remember going back to my room, and I sat down, and it was just that moment of like, tish, you have to make it. This acting has to happen, because you just recorded over your cousin's wedding, and your aunt is not joking about it. And I just kind of prayed that one day it would be something that I could look back at and laugh at and my aunt could be proud of me. And thankfully, that has happened.

[Elizabeth Day]

Oh, it's such a great story. So your aunt has forgiven you?

[Letitia Wright]

She absolutely has forgiven me. The last public thing we did together for me, celebrating my acting, I took her to the Wakanda Forever premiere. She's gone to mostly all of my Black Panther premieres in the uk, and the last thing I took her to was Madame Tussauds to see three wax works of myself. And she was in awe and she was crying, and I was just like, yes, see, Auntie, that video I took wasn't in vain. And I'm still sorry.

[Abercrombie Kids Advertiser]

It was worth it.

[Elizabeth Day]

We will come onto Wakanda in a moment, but tell me about not yout Superwoman. It's about mothers and daughters, isn't it?

[Letitia Wright]

Yep. It's a beautiful play that the. The concept and the start of it was really Lynette Linton, and she wanted to work with Golda and all three of us, we have Guyanese heritage. So she was just like, I want to make something that would just take a look at what black women go through in terms of the lineage and the generations of different issues, different things, whether it's motherhood, whether it's mental health, whether it's just that. That notion of superwoman schema, like, you just have to get up and keep going, that doesn't only relate to black women, but just women in general. Like, we can't stay down for too long. We have to pick ourselves up and keep going. And we're never allowed a break in society. To feel, to heal, to hurt, to experience.

[Elizabeth Day]

I really appreciate your desire to do work with meaning and with intention. And it does seem to me the thing that has connected all is that you have really thought about which ones to say yes to. And prime amongst that, of course. And what many people will know you for is Black Panther.

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Day]

And what I appreciate about the role that you took on there is that, yes, you are a princess, but not in the conventional sense, because you're a scientist, you're brilliant. You're the one who becomes Black Panther in Wakanda forever. And apparently you inspired a generation of young girls to study STEM subjects. How much were you aware of that, the kind of radical nature of it when you took on the part?

[Letitia Wright]

I didn't know fully what I was getting myself into. I didn't research about. I didn't do too much research, basically. Meaning I knew who my director was, but I didn't go. I didn't go digging because I knew if I went digging, I would see there's Michael B. Jordan, there's Chadwick, there's Lupita Nyong', O, there's Danai Gurira, there's all of these powerhouse actors already attached. And I would then be glorifying working with them instead of focusing on the purpose of the script. So I completely ignored the full email of this could potentially be a Marvel film. Completely ignored that and went straight for the lines, printed it out and locked in on the character and just recorded it and sent it. And then once I started to realize that I was getting closer, that's when the anxieties started to kick in, and I had to really just regulate myself. I had to really just lock in. I had to pray. I had to just stay focused because the anxiety was kind of like trying to discourage me to say, this is not your moment. You're dreaming here. It's not gonna happen for you. Just all of these negative thoughts started to literally bombard me, and I had to shut it out to the point where I was this close to not going on that plane to do that screen test with Chadwick Boseman. I was so close to not doing it because of the negative thoughts. And I just had to just be brave and say, this is my moment. This is my time. Whatever happens on the other end, as long as I do a good job, as long as I dedicate myself to this audition, that's all that matters right now. Just focus on this part. And before Chadwick walked into the room, I just took it bit by bit, and I just wanted to do my best that day. So, yeah, that's how I conquered that. And I think, I'll be honest with you, it didn't even hit me when I was filming. I was more nervous when I was filming more than anything because I kept messing up stuff. I was. I'm green. I'm still green. You know, when it's the biggest film sets in the world, sometimes I felt like I was letting everybody down. And it was until the premiere in LA that I watched the film, and I was like, whoa. Oh, my goodness. Everything I prayed about, everything I wanted to be, everything I wanted to manifest in terms of purpose, is literally on that screen.

[Elizabeth Day]

I want to come back to some of the things that you mentioned there as they pertain to your failures, but I also want to get into them now because they're so good. And you said to me before we started recording that you had so many failures, your words to choose from, but that you'd focused on these ones because they had taught you something. So thank you for that.

[Letitia Wright]

Thank you.

[Elizabeth Day]

And your first failure is an audition when you were around 17 years old.

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Day]

What happened?

[Letitia Wright]

Oh, my dear goodness. It was this audition. I remember it so vividly. It was ne Good Street Station, and it was for a feature film, an independent feature film. Established actors and I remember I prepared as much as possible. I walked in and you know when you can feel it in the air that something is just not clicking? And I remember, like, going into the room and I was auditioning, and I could feel how bad it was. The lines are not coming out properly. You're not feeling the character properly. Like, the director's kind of, like, looking in agony, like, oof. The producers are like, oof. And I was just like, I'm so sorry. It felt like a failure to me, like, my first big failure. Because I know, like, when I left, I didn't brush it off. I went and I sat in a Starbucks and I cried. And I was like, I don't think acting's for me. I don't think I can do this. That was a big hit. This is a huge opportunity. And you just fumbled it. And I just felt so terrible. And of course, I did not get the part. I went to another actress, and I remember, like, seeing the advertisements for the movie and stuff and just feeling really terrible. But in that moment, what I learned from that was like, sometimes things happen that you may want, you know, so badly, and when it doesn't go your way, it tests your character. Like, who will you be after this point? Will you accept that failure and. And accept that, okay, that lie, like, this is not for you. Quit. Quit whilst you're ahead while nobody knows who you are, or will you just let it shape you and make you better and cause you to go and study your craft and take more acting lessons and study more audition tapes? So I just had to pick in that moment who I was gonna be, because if I didn't, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you.

[Elizabeth Day]

And this desire to act was quite unique in your family, I believe. So when this happened to you and you flunked the audition and you felt really terrible, who did you turn to? Did you have anyone to turn to, or was it a sort of inside job?

[Letitia Wright]

It was a little bit of both. You know, I turned to my mom and my dad and, you know, just, hey, I didn't have a good day today. I didn't have a good audition. My mom would always encourage me and say, hey, like, it's okay. It's a not a good one. It didn't go your way today, but keep going, keep trying. But it's also. My enneagram number is number three. I don't know if you've ever done any of.

[Elizabeth Day]

I have, and I can never remember which my number is.

[Letitia Wright]

Okay, do it again.

[Elizabeth Day]

I'll do it again. I've done human design. Does that work?

[Letitia Wright]

Okay, I've not done that. Yeah. My number is number three, and it's like, overachiever. And I was like, of course, though I can speak to my parents, and I can, like, say, hey, I had a bad day today. I would carry that with me. I'd carry that failure with me. I'd carry that moment just seeing the faces of those people in the audition room, going and trying to hide it and was like, oh. So I would internalize it, and I would allow it to, like, eat away at my good thoughts. And that's something that I had to, like, kind of, like, manage from very early on. And then I didn't know that it was gonna lead me to a path of depression, but it was, like, the beginnings of it. It was like those really harsh thoughts of giving up. You're a failure, like, you're not gonna make it. And it would start from those moments of, like, not achieving something that I thought I was gonna achieve. So though I had the support, it was also a mental and a personal and internal battle that I had to conquer with for myself. Because if I couldn't conquer it, there's not many words my mom could use to help me. Yes.

[Elizabeth Day]

You know, I suppose I wanted to know how much acceptance you think has to play in feeling like a failure after this audition. Did it also feel like you weren't being accepted, that you were being rejected?

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah, of course. And it's still happening today where. Okay, we've done our press night, and then the first thing we all say to each other is, don't read the reviews. Yeah. Yeah. We just did press night to hear what the critics have to say. But we have to condition ourselves to not read reviews so we don't take a negative review and let it stain the whole of our experience of the show because you're trying to protect yourself. So at a young age, I had to find a balance in act of how do you do your. Do the thing you love? Also take critique, not allow it to make you depressed and sad if something doesn't go your way. And how do you also find acceptance? And how do you also not care about people's acceptance so you can survive it? That's a battlefield.

[Elizabeth Day]

Yes. I really appreciate your honesty, and I know so many listeners will as well, because in our own ways, we, so many of us experience something similar on a much smaller scale every single day. So thank you for that.

[Letitia Wright]

You're welcome.

[Elizabeth Day]

That context, then fame.

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Day]

Just fame.

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Day]

What's that, like, so do you experience fame as part of your purpose or part of your challenge?

[Letitia Wright]

Both. It's an extension of what I do. I see it as I was doing this in a small little room in Tottenham, and nobody knew but my aunt and my mom and my siblings. I'll be like, what are you doing in there?

[Elizabeth Day]

And cousin Rachel, who's wedding video and cousin Rachel.

[Letitia Wright]

I'm on a project that's of a bigger platform, that's more eyes. It has taught me a lot. It's taught me about my responsibility in what I say, what I do, how I conduct myself. I would say. I would like to say lucky, but I've been very blessed to be able to do this and still have a very protected private life.

[Elizabeth Day]

What is the craziest fame thing that's happened to you?

[Letitia Wright]

Not much.

[Elizabeth Day]

Is there someone you met who were like, I cannot believe I'm getting to meet this person right now.

[Letitia Wright]

Oh, my goodness. Naomi Harris was Is on the top of the list. I've been watching her since I was a teenager, studying all of her work because she was the first person and first woman in the UK that I could see myself when I look at her. And I wanted her to be my mentor. And I asked BAFTA Breakthrough Brit's team to figure it out and help me connect with her. And she's now like a big sister to me. I can message her anytime about anything, and she's always got time for me. Meeting Denzel was, like, really cool. I'm not gonna lie. I think that's my favorite one. Denzel Washington.

[Elizabeth Day]

How did you meet him?

[Letitia Wright]

Oh, dear.

[Elizabeth Day]

I love a story that starts like that. Yeah.

[Letitia Wright]

Oh, dear. So I missed my opportunity to meet him, actually, in New York when we were promoting the first Black Panther and we were on our way to Calvin Klein, who was my first Runway show thing. And it was like, me, Lupita, Michael B. And Chad. And then Chad was late, and he was like, where's Chad? Where's Chad? And then Chad came after, where are you, bro? And he was just like, I had to speak to Denzel. I was like, that's so cool. You got to meet Denzel. That's not fair. And then years later, we were filming on Wakanda forever, and there's, like. Like a little bit of, like, not commotion, but there was a little bit of, like, gathering around a particular trailer. And I was like, who's that? And they're like, dw. I'm like, who's dw? I said, oh, my God. So I stood outside the trailer. And I went and I said, hi, so nice to meet you. That was the best handshake in the world. So he's just like, I'm just, I'm just, just visiting. I said, okay. Then he came on set, he sat and he's at the monitor. And I was just looking at him like, are you gonna sit here through my scene, sir? He absolutely did. And then, yeah, Denzel was just watching us as we were acting. He was just set visiting. And it was beautiful. It was beautiful to see him in the flesh and just to sit with him, make jokes, and he was just cool. And then he also called me out. He was like, you're gonna be a director. And I was like, what the heck? You just got here. You don't know anything about me. I was like, I did not have a desire to direct. He's like, I can see you directing one day. And I was like, sir, what do you mean? He's just like, yeah, you look. Yeah, you look like you're going direct. And then Ryan said it after. I was like, tish, you look like you've gone direct. Like your brain just did it. You're always thinking about different things. And that became true. So that's. That was one of my favorite encounters. One of my favorite people to meet. Denzel.

[Elizabeth Day]

Yeah. Dw.

[Letitia Wright]

Dw.

[Elizabeth Day]

Was it a firm handshake?

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah, very firm, love. Very firm. Yeah, he's a gentleman too. Like, got lots of jokes.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

You guessed it. It's me, Jonathan Van Ness from Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness. Okay, babes, can we just take a moment to talk about how special our dogs are? My babies are not just pets. They're my family. Which is exactly why I switched to Ollie. Ollie delivers fresh, protein packed meals made with real human grade ingredients, backed by vet nutritionists and crafted with culinary experts. And let me tell you, even the pickiest eaters get excited at mealtime. My pups run like the bulls during in Sierra when they hear that Ollie pouch open. Plus, the Ollie app offers on demand health screenings so you can actually tap real experts for peace of mind. That's so iconic. Head to ollie.com better tell them all about your dog and use code better to get 60% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus they offer a happiness guarantee on the first box. So if you're not completely satisfied, you'll get your money back. That's O l l I e dot com. Better. And enter code better to get 60% off your first box.

[Miu Miu Advertiser]

Your teen adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained. One who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly. They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions. They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist. New Teen the new fragrance by Miu Miu defined by you.

[Lowe's Advertiser]

Lowe's knows how to help make your home holiday ready for less. Get select Style Selections vinyl flooring for just $1.99 per squ foot and have it installed before the festivities begin. Our team can help you every step of the way. See a Lowe's red Best associate or visit lowe's.comholidayinstall to get started. Lowes we help you save basic Install only Date restrictions apply. Subject to availability. Installed by independent contractors. See Associate for details.

[Elizabeth Day]

Contiguous us only your second failure. Talking about this rejection from this audition, which was a very sort of salutary turning point for you at 17, but at 18 years old, you get a part in Top Boy and that becomes a smash hit show. And your second failure is allowing online bullying after that release to discourage you from acting. And I did not realize there was online bullying. I'm so sorry you experienced that. Tell us what happened.

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah, I did the project and it came out on my birthday and I was still in college at this time. We had like, Twitter was quite popular and MySpace, but Facebook, Facebook and Twitter was popular. And I remember, like, the show would come out and everybody would be online doing commentary as the show is, like, airing. And it was just a lot of hateful comments, mostly targeting my body size, mostly targeting my skin, mostly targeting just me. Nothing to do with my acting, but most of it was like, she looks like this, she looks like that. And I'm 18. And at 18, when you see these things, you instantly believe them. You instantly go into a hole. And again, this is one of those things that my parents couldn't help me out of because they could say the nice words. They can say, leticia, you're beautiful. Don't listen to these young people. But for me, it felt like the whole of London, all the young people in London, gathered on the Internet and trolled me. And it felt so horrible. And I remember I didn't continue watching the TV show alongside everybody else. I locked myself into my room for like a week. And I'd refused to go to college. I didn't want to go, so I stayed in my room. I would cry, I wouldn't eat. And I was just like, yeah, I didn't want to do the TV show anymore. I was just like, one, I'm getting bullied, and two, this is not what I wanted to represent. I didn't want to represent a character like that. I'm not judging anybody else, but for me, I really believed, like, I wanted to do something different. I wanted a different path. I wanted to represent.

[Elizabeth Day]

Because your character was a drug dealer from a state.

[Letitia Wright]

I didn't want to do that. And even when I did it, at the beginning, I was talking to my mom. Like, mom, this is not something I really want to do, but it's an opportunity. And she's like, it's acting, so see how it goes? And I remember, like, I was doing it, and then I was like, all respects to everybody else, this is just not for me. I was my peer. The people I looked up to were Keke Palmer, Naomi Harris. Like, they were doing so many different, versatile roles. And I believed that for myself. And this wasn't on the path that I wanted for me. Yes, it's a part of my. My path right now. It helped me, and it helped me to grow, but it just didn't feel good when it came out. I didn't get to celebrate as much as everybody else did because I was being attacked online. And I feel like that was a failure for me because I really allowed those negative thoughts and can't be too hard on myself because I was just a teenager, but I allowed those thoughts that I tried to avoid or that I worked so hard on to not happen. I conquered that audition that I failed at. Hey, give up. You shouldn't do it. You're. You're not good. That's a lie. I'm gonna keep going. And now I'm on another path, and it's a new. A new level, new devil of negative thoughts and negative things attacking me. So then I had to conquer that. But in that moment, spending a week in my room, not eating, crying, feeling terrible, not loving myself, not feeling beautiful, not feeling good enough. It was to the point where people were calling me anorexic. And I didn't even know what that word was until I saw it. And I was like, I eat food. It's just my metabolism. My body is different. God made my body different. But the kids, like, the young people online were really like, she's anorexic. She looks ugly. She looks this. She looks that. She's not pretty. She's not beautiful. Why did they even cast her? So many bad things. And I allowed them to win for that week, and then I had to go back to college. And that's when another week of torment happened. I went to college, and I'd walk in and people looking at me up and down. People were laughing at me. And I remember, like, these are things I never said before. I remember, like, getting my lunch and having nowhere to sit. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna go to the drama room. And I know upstairs in a drama room, there's a room that you go in, and it's just dark, and I can sit by myself. Yeah. And I just. Yeah, I just remember, like, going in there, like, sitting and, like, crying and being like, this is mad. Like, this is my dream, so why do I feel so bad? And then I had to decide that I had to do it for myself. I had to decide, no matter what anyone says about me, whether they like something I do, I have to do this for me. Because this is my dream, this is my talent. This is something God has given to me, and I have to see it through. So I remember, like, literally by myself, eating my lunch, crying, and being like, damn, this was meant to be so amazing. And it's not. But what are you going to do from this point? It was another, like, crossroads moment. Are you going to fail? Are you going to accept this moment of failure, or are you going to pick yourself up and keep going? And I really thank God that I kept going, because years later, my peers from that TV show was, like, so proud of you. You've achieved so much. And I'm thinking, you have no clue what I went through. You know, not only did I not want to portray a character like that, because for me, it wasn't my path. No judgment to anyone else, but it just wasn't for me. But also being bullied whilst doing something that I loved, you know, something that my acting, shall I say, like, portraying a character, being on set, being in front of a camera, those are the things I loved. I was learning. One of the best directors industry was directing me. Yander Mage. Like, I was literally learning. And then I just felt like the two were not compatible. My purpose was not meeting joy, and I needed to find my purpose and my joy in a character and in a world that was gonna elevate me and I was gonna celebrate me. And no matter what they said, I was gonna walk away feeling proud. So I remember that that's one of the things I took away from that experience, that no matter what happens when you pick a role, Latisha, you're gonna pick a role that you're so proud of. Whether people say didn't like that one or I loved it. Are you proud enough to say and are you confident enough to say? I picked this because I felt like I was the right vessel. I'm proud of my choice. It's a part of my legacy. That's it. And that's what came out of that experience.

[Elizabeth Day]

Wow, Leticia, that blows my mind that you went through that pain and now you sit before us as this globally recognized talent and beauty. And I'm so glad that you made it through that period of your life. And I feel your pain, like, across the studio. Like, I feel it. You've spoken in the past about a period of depression in your early 20s. I think it was. Was this part of that catalyst, do you think?

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah, it was all like, is that thing again of, like, the superwoman schema? Of, like, something happens, you feel it for a little while, you move on. Back then, you didn't know. I didn't know that there was such thing as counseling or therapy that could tap into. So most of the things that I was dealing with, I dealt with them through maybe watching cinema. I would, like, find TV shows or movies that I could just, like, get lost in as an escapism. But, yeah, like, slowly, all of those things, kind of like, if you want to call it, like, compound interest, just came together. And it was just like this halting moment of, like, you need to stop, because all of these experiences have fed into this lie that this defines you, and you're not where you want to be, and your career is not where you need it to be. So you failed. And I was constantly battling that, constantly comparing myself. It became so bad to the point when I even booked a job and I was filming that job and I was in that role. I would be thinking about what's next because it wasn't good enough. And I knew something was wrong, because how could you not feel like this is good enough? Why can't you be a good steward over what you have right in front of you? This not good enough? No, it's not. My film is not at Sundance. My film is not a Cannes Film Festival. I don't have a block. I'm not in the blockbuster hit blockbuster film this summer. I failed. My peers are doing this. That person's doing that. And it just all came together and just came crashing down on me. And then I just felt like I wasn't being the person that I truly was meant to be. I was comparing myself. I was hard on myself. I couldn't celebrate myself. And it needed to Stop. Because if it didn't, it was going to downward spiral, and I probably, again, wouldn't be sitting here in front of you.

[Elizabeth Day]

How are you today?

[Letitia Wright]

Oh, my goodness, way better. It's funny, like, when I do these interviews, it reminds me of so much because I still have that mentality of, okay, cool, keep focus, keep going. Focus on what's ahead of you or what's in front of you. But doing interviews like this, where you would recall things that. That were part of my childhood or my teenage years, or ask me, hey, what are three things that you want to reflect on? That you felt like you failed and you. You conquered. It takes me back and it makes me reflect, and it makes me really grateful for the progress and the woman that I am today. Everything is still a. There's still challenges, but it's different types of challenges. The challenge now is to maintain what I have and to be better. I still want to grow, but I try to keep it simple for myself. There is no desire for fame because thankfully, I've been a part of projects that have a bigger platform and a wide exposure. And I'm grateful that my artistry can allow for people to trust in me, to come see my work, to sell out my show before I even premiered it, you know, alongside Golda. What's the story that's going to lead you to add to the wall of legacy that you're building with these. With these projects? And that keeps me very peaceful and that keeps me very sane and pure and. And pure. There's a purity to it sometimes. There's an interception of negative thoughts and negative desires. Whether it be, I want more, this I want. You don't need more things. You've been very blessed. And I have to remind myself of that and the progress as well, of being that little girl, being that teenager that got bullied. Being that teenager got bullied in school, was called all types of names. And then you're Ambassador for Prada 3 years in a row. It's just like the growth is just so beautiful. But the North Star remains the same. The industry that I'm in, I absolutely still love it, but I still keep it to a distance in terms of the potential that it has to influence me in the wrong way to make me feel like I'm not good enough in its little ways. But I try to conquer that by just remaining focused on my purpose. So that's all I'm going to be chasing until I'm old and gray and I'm ready to depart from this earth. My purpose so that's where I'm at today. I'm that young girl from Tottenham that's still chasing her purpose.

[Abercrombie Kids Advertiser]

Go all in on fall with Abercrombie Kids. Their newest drop of on trend outfits are ready. Ready for everything from the bus stop to family bonfires. And it wouldn't be fall without football. Gear up. The kids with officially licensed NFL tees and sweatshirts shop Abercrombie Kids this season in the app, online and in store. The new Popeyes and Hot Ones menu is the definition of fire flavor. We've got the sizzling Sriracha dippers. 10 out of 10.

[Letitia Wright]

Time to take it up a notch.

[Abercrombie Kids Advertiser]

With the smoking Rojo chicken sandwich.

[Letitia Wright]

Mmm.

[Abercrombie Kids Advertiser]

That's so hot. But it's so good. Now onto the daring dab ghost wings. Yep, there it is. I love the spice level. Attempt the Popeyes and Hot Ones menu in stores. Our hottest collaboration yet. Love that chicken from Popeyes. Limited time in participating U.S. restaurants.

[Liberty Mutual Advertiser]

Race the rudders. Raise the sails. Raise the sails. Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Over.

[Liberty Mutual Advertiser]

Roger, wait. Is that an enterprise sales solution? Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors. With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title and more. Start converting your B2B audience today. Spend $250 on your first campaign and get a free $250 credit for the next one. Get started [e-mail] Campaign terms and conditions apply.

[Elizabeth Day]

Your final failure takes us back to what DW and Ryan were saying when they said you're going to direct one day and you made a beautiful short film, highway to the Moon. But you've put this as your third failure. Why?

[Letitia Wright]

The process of it. The most recent thing in my life or the most recent experience in my life that made me feel like I failed until I was proven wrong. I made this film out of the just the love in my heart that I have for my friend Nya, just seeing her grief. Her brother was stabbed in Finsby park in 2019, I believe, and I knew him and I wanted to write something. These thoughts, these images just kept bombarding my mind and I just had to write something to let it out. And it's just developed from 2020 onwards and I wanted to give it to someone else to do when I finished writing it and I got the feedback I needed and I got the commission I needed, I wanted to give it to someone else. And the producer on it, Stephanie Alexandra, who's also like a sister of mine, she was just like, hey, you should direct because there's not a lot of women Directing and the way you feel about this project, you're the only one that could do it. And I was like, are you insane? I've never been behind a camera. I don't know what's what. Yes, I've been doing this for 15 plus years, but I don't know what's what. So I immediately underestimated myself. And I immediately felt like there was an imposter syndrome happening. And she just kind of educated me. She was like, look, you could surround yourself with people who are willing to help you. I help you find that. You know, we'll put a team together and we'll help you. So I did. I went through the whole process of putting a team together, finding my cast, and every step of the way, it just felt like something was just trying to knock me off this path. Something was trying to tell me, like, or force me to give up. And when I say everything, I mean every stage. Whether it's the making of it, adults bickering on set, or things going wrong, and you have to stay focused, whether it's finishing the film and the editor's like, I don't want to do it anymore. Out of nowhere, you're just like, what? What? Can't do it anymore? Here's your hard drive back. You're like, what? You had my hard drive for a month. What is going on? Whether it's the VFX team being like, sorry, can't do it anymore. Just so many different moments of obstacles and then making the film, putting it together, and then some of the producers that was just like, hey, we'll. We'll teach you about post production. We'll stay with you. Then they were just like, deuces, good luck with this. And then feeling like, oh, my God, I've made a terrible movie. I've done a terrible job so bad that they don't even want to tell me. And they're just like, hey, we're out. And, you know, I've made choices on my film. I'm like, hey, this person is not the person to score it. Because they. They didn't feel like they were passionate. They didn't feel like they cared, but picked someone else. Like, didn't like the way you did that. We're out. Just. I'm so confused by what I'm meant to be doing as a director. I'm meant to be picking people for the right for the job. I kid you not. Everyone left except for my VFX supervisor, Reese, I kid you not. And I called him one day and I was like, hey, can I pay you some more to stay? And he was like, why would I want more money? I was like, because I don't know why everyone's leaving. Maybe it's because it's a short film and, you know. And he was just like. Like, I agreed to a payment and I'm gonna finish. I'm gonna be a man of my word and help you. And he stayed with me. My editor stayed to my. My composer. But I really felt like I failed because I was like, it doesn't make sense why everyone's just leaving. Did I make a bad film? I surely probably did. I remember making the film, finishing the vfx, and the film was, like, done. And I literally was just like, I'm so ashamed of what I've done, and I'm not gonna put it out. I'm just. This was a bad experience. And I literally felt like I failed. I cried about it. I grieved it. I grieved the experience. It felt like the worst introduction of being a director ever. I was like, why would anyone want to do this? This is terrible. And I don't know what kept pushing me, but I was just like, maybe I'll try a few film festivals, see who accepts it. Acceptance one, acceptance two, acceptance three. Maybe I'll be brave enough to show my executive producers. Finally showed it to them. My team at we presents and we transfer. And then they will come into the screening and they'll look at me and be like, this is a beautiful film. And I'm like, it is. And they're like, really well done. This is your first film. Really well done. And I'm like, huh? And I show it to my cast and I show it to some of the crew, and they're like, wow. And then one acceptance after the next, and then getting to BFI and being like, oh, wow, you felt like a failure. Just like how you're ready to pack it in after the online bullying. And every time you said no, whether it's by forward movement of, like, submissions, doing little things, whether you. That's like a little protest against the negative thoughts. Yeah. Every time you did that, something greater was on the other side. Something of that moment of quote, unquote, failure. So there's a pattern here. Life is not always going to be a great, easy, smooth experience. There's going to be bumps in the road. But on the other side of that, something's awaiting you, and you just don't know until you keep going. And that was, like, a huge lesson this year. So for you to even invite me onto this podcast and to ask me about what I felt like I learned from in terms of failures is so intricate to my experience this year, especially with highway to the Moon, because I really felt like I did it. I really felt like something was wrong. And then I'm getting awards and it's getting accepted to the biggest festivals in the world. And I just saw a failure turn into an extension of my talent, an extension of who I am. And I'm excited about. Excited about directing again.

[Elizabeth Day]

I found it so striking and so assured and just visually stunning and moving and all of those things. I also wanted to ask you about grief because it is a study of grief in so many ways, and particularly the alienation around grief. And I'm so aware, and you've mentioned him, he's been a presence in this conversation of the loss of Chadwick Boseman, who was like a brother to you.

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Day]

How much did making highway to the Moon help you process that loss?

[Letitia Wright]

It's such a great question because 2023, I picked the script back up to do a workshop with young boys in New York and in London. And the time frame, the timing of when I needed to go to New York was on, I believe, like this, like the. The third year anniversary or. Or date of my brother's passing. And I thought that was going to distract me because it always comes in like waves. I was so wrong. That week they were focusing on a loss that they had. And we split into groups. I remember one day we split into groups, and it was either the day before or the day of my brother's passing. And we split into groups and we were talking about grief, and I was trying to hold it together because it's, you know, young boys in front of me, and I don't want to fall apart in front of them, but I just saw some of. Some of these young men, these young black men, like, crying and just processing grief. One of the actors is also in my film, Victor, and I saw him processing the grief of his. Of his little cousin. And then it came around to me. And then I was just telling them, like, hey, like, though I'm here with you, you know, I feel like we're talking about people that we love, we're talking about people that we've lost. And I thought I could get away from it, but now it's. It's. I have to share with you, like, this is really painful, you know, and it. It's a different type of hurt. It's a different type of pain. So as the Years go by, it gets a little bit. A little bit gentler on the heart, but it attacks you in different ways. I have a love hate relationship with grief. I know that it's meant to happen and when it does, you have to let. Let it happen, but it's. It attacks you in a way that. That is indescribable, really. And yeah, like I'm still. I'm currently going through that now with my aunt who is passing. And yeah, I'm doing this play and it's about grief and it's about passing of a matriarch and stuff like that. So. My Auntie Ann, I'm so sorry. Yeah, so I don't know, I'm a little bit afraid that while someone stage she might pass, I don't know when she is. But yeah, we tried everything to keep her hair and look after her, so. But yeah, like a new sense of purpose is happening whilst I'm grieving right now of. Yeah, that young girl in Tottenham taking over our auntie's camera.

[Elizabeth Day]

Letitia, I'm so sorry for the grief you're going through and the grief you've experienced. And I want you to know that the stories you tell and the meaning you bring to the world are what keep everything alive. They're the stories that help us to see ourselves and to process our grief. It's the ultimate act of generosity and it's the ult act of bringing meaning to that passing. And I'm so sorry for the pain. I really am. And I don't know why you've been chosen as this vessel.

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Day]

But you're doing amazingly.

[Letitia Wright]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Elizabeth Day]

I know the listeners will be proud of you and I can only imagine how proud your family are of you both your biological family and your brother, Chadwick.

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

[Elizabeth Day]

I want to end on like, a happier note.

[Letitia Wright]

Let's do it. Let's do it. Leticia.

[Elizabeth Day]

Okay, so you remember when you said when you were going through anxiety and feeling like a failure after Top Boy post that audition, you used to watch TV and cinema to help you escape?

[Letitia Wright]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Day]

What is your ultimate feel good piece of TV or movie to watch? The one that you watch again and again and will never get sick of.

[Letitia Wright]

Oh, my goodness. Everybody hates Chris. But that is a great TV show.

[Elizabeth Day]

What about movies?

[Letitia Wright]

But it would have to be the Lovely Bones of Saoirse Ronan.

[Elizabeth Day]

The Lovely Bones is your feel good movie.

[Letitia Wright]

Oh, feel good. Damn it. You said escape.

[Elizabeth Day]

I mean escaping grimness. Okay, Juno. Juno's a great one.

[Letitia Wright]

The best film ever.

[Elizabeth Day]

Oh, so good. Elliot Page has also been on this podcast.

[WhatsApp Advertiser]

Yep.

[Letitia Wright]

Oh, yep, yep.

[Elizabeth Day]

Okay. Well, that was a great note to end on. You are completely magnificent. Thank you. And I am so grateful that a legit Marvel superhero has graced the how to Fail studio. You're in a play called not yout Superwoman. I beg to differ. You are mine. Thank you so much for coming on how to Fail. Please do follow how to Fail to get new episodes as they land on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. Please tell all your friends this is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment original podcast. Thank you so much for listening.

[Liberty Mutual Advertiser]

Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us? Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail].

[Letitia Wright]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Liberty Mutual Advertiser]

Liberty Savings Ferry. Underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company Affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.