ON BODY IMAGE… With Martine Wright and Paloma Faith

Summary

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How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Episode: ON BODY IMAGE… With Martine Wright and Paloma Faith

Date: October 27, 2025
Host: Elizabeth Day
Guests: Paloma Faith, Martine Wright

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Episode Overview

This themed episode of How To Fail dives into the complexities of body image—how we see ourselves physically, how these perceptions are shaped by failure, and what can be learned from them. Elizabeth Day revisits compelling conversations with singer-songwriter Paloma Faith and Paralympian Martine Wright, exploring their very personal failures relating to body image, the scars and the strength these left, and the broader context of acceptance in a world that often sets narrow standards.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Paloma Faith: "Thrown out of Ballet School—Body Image and the Inner Bully"

[03:43]

• Early Experience With Body Rejection:
  Paloma was expelled from ballet school at age 10 for "showing signs of becoming curvy," underscoring the damaging standards the performance world can set for young bodies.

  • Quote:

    "I was thrown out because I showed signs of becoming curvy and that wasn't like, the correct body for a ballet dancer." (Paloma Faith, 03:46)

• Lasting Impact:
  This rejection led to persistent body negativity, ongoing into adulthood. Paloma notes how it set off a life-long obsession with her body and self-image, though she never developed an eating disorder. She candidly speaks about experiencing body dysmorphia.

  • Quote:

    "It was a bit of a blow. And then it made me sort of obsessed with it forever. Basically, that was it." (Paloma Faith, 04:32)

• Parenting and Body Positivity:
  Although she struggles herself, Paloma is intent on fostering body positivity in her children, believing influencing the next generation can be its own form of personal victory.

  • Quote:

    "Although I'm quite good at it with my children, I think. So as long as I can make two women be body positive, then I've succeeded setting realistic goals." (Paloma Faith, 04:32)

• Body Dysmorphia and Self-Critique:
  Paloma describes the disconnect between how she felt in her body and photographic reality, revealing the harsh, often illogical standards imposed by her "inner bully."

  • Quote:

    "Sometimes I look at photos and I just think I was huge in that photo. But then I'll see the photo and be like, I wasn't." (Paloma Faith, 05:01)

• Nature and Origin of the Inner Critic:
  Paloma and Elizabeth discuss whether self-critique is intrinsic or conditioned by experiences, especially from formative years in ballet and the pervasive media diet culture of the 90s.

  • Quote:

    "I call it the inner bully because it's sort of a permanent thing... it does also motivate you." (Paloma Faith, 06:43)

• Family Dynamics, Achievement, and Never Feeling Enough:
  Paloma shares that her mother was nurturing whereas her father pushed her constantly, never expressing satisfaction. This combination, alongside external criticism, contributed to a feeling of always having to prove herself.

  • Quote:

    "Even when I did well, he'd be like, why isn't it an A star if I said I got an A." (Paloma Faith, 07:05)

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Martine Wright: "Redefining Failure After Catastrophe and Disability"

[08:46]

• Life-Altering Trauma:
  Martine lost both legs in the 7/7 London bombings. She describes how in a split second, her life and her sense of self changed entirely.

• Changing Relationship with Failure:
  Becoming disabled shifted Martine's perspective on failure and motivation. Her approach evolved to focus on what was possible rather than what was lost.

  • Quote:

    "I am still, in essence, Martine. I might have slightly shorter legs or thinner ankles. ... But I have changed. And as a result, I think those failures and what you achieve have failed. I suppose I have changed as well." (Martine Wright, 09:32)

• Coping with Memories and Creating New Ones:
  The hardest part of her recovery was living with the memory of her former self. Martine’s method of coping was to consciously create new, extraordinary experiences, such as learning to fly planes in South Africa.

  • Quote:

    "The hardest thing to deal with for me...was the memories of who I once was and how I used to do things. ... And what I decided to do to cope with those memories is I decided to create new ones." (Martine Wright, 10:10)

• Turning “Failures” into Opportunity:
  Through embracing new opportunities, Martine redefined success on her own terms, emphasizing resilience, adaptability, and perspective.

  • Quote:

    "If I hadn't gone through this such a negative thing, or maybe a failure ... I would never, ever have been able to create these amazing new memories and do the things I want to do." (Martine Wright, 12:34)

• Acceptance and Self-Belief:
  Martine ultimately attributes her recovery and achievements to personal choices, support networks, and unwavering belief.

  • Quote:

    "It's been my choices, it's been the people that love me and support me and ultimately it has been my belief." (Martine Wright, 13:59)

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Is the World Friendly to Disabled People? Reflections on Accessibility and Society

[15:11]

• Everyday Inaccessibility:
  Martine shares the irony and frustration of encountering foot-operated devices in environments for amputees, using humor to point out persisting systemic barriers.

  • Quote:

    "It was actually in the hospital where I was strong enough the first time to actually go to the toilet on my own. ... And it was like, we're in a hospital, we're an amputee ward. Well, I've got a foot, A foot pedal." (Martine Wright, 15:32)

• Progress, But Not Enough:
  While improvements are happening, Martine sees a vast way to go for true accessibility. She stresses collective responsibility to notice and dismantle barriers, whether physical or attitudinal.

  • Quote:

    "Is the world friendly to disabled people? Well, I suppose if there was a yes or no answer to that, I would say no." (Martine Wright, 15:32)

• Social Responsibility and Education:
  Martine emphasizes the need for society to educate itself and support one another—pointing out that everyone’s needs and reactions are individual, and that family, especially children, can be natural educators.

  • Quote:

    "All of us are responsible to communicate that with each other." (Martine Wright, 15:32)
    "I do think the last year, this Covid world ... has made us realize that good things come out of bad." (Martine Wright, 17:23)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I'm really body negative. And then I feel negative about being body negative because I feel like I should be being body positive."
  — Paloma Faith, [04:20]

• "When you talk about your relationship with your body, it's not usually about your actual body in a literal sense. It's to do with saying you can try harder, you got to be better."
  — Paloma Faith, [06:43]

• "My life completely changed. ... I thought my life was over. That was it. I wanted to die. ... What I decided to do to cope with those memories is I decided to create new ones."
  — Martine Wright, [10:10]

• "Okay, Elizabeth, you might be able to run 100 meters or run for that bus. But you know what I can do? I can fly a plane."
  — Martine Wright, [12:01]

• "All of us are responsible to communicate that with each other. ... All of us have that responsibility to talk about things and educate things, educate people."
  — Martine Wright, [15:32], [17:23]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:43] Paloma Faith on being removed from ballet school and body image roots
• [04:59] Paloma on body dysmorphia and inner critic
• [06:22] Exploring the origins of self-criticism and family influences
• [08:46] Martine Wright on how disability redefined her experience of failure
• [09:32] The shift in self-perception and motivations after trauma
• [10:10] Coping with loss and the significance of creating new memories
• [12:01] Martine on choosing new opportunities and setting her own standards
• [15:11] Accessibility: the foot pedal anecdote and responsibility for change
• [17:23] The role of collective education and the influence of Covid on empathy

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Final Thoughts

This episode powerfully showcases how body image and self-worth are shaped by rejection, trauma, and the stories we tell about ourselves. Paloma Faith and Martine Wright’s stories offer comfort, validation, and hope—tangible proof that struggle can lead to unexpected sources of pride, understanding, and strength. Most importantly, the episode is a call for empathy and action—inviting us all to examine our assumptions, care for one another, and recognize the beauty in our differences.

Transcript

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[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

I'm diving into the back catalog bringing you moments of insight, laughter and truth from past guests. These themed how to Fail episodes are a chance to reflect on the universal experiences that connect us all. This week we're looking at Body Image, how we see ourselves, and how those perceptions are shaped by by life's challenges and experiences. Today, we're discussing a common theme that comes up among my guests. How they feel about their physical selves, something everyone at some point has either struggled with personally or might know someone who has. Firstly, we hear from Paloma Faith. From her Original episode In February 2024, Paloma speaks about being thrown out of ballet school, age 10, because she showed signs of becoming curvy and that apparently wasn't the correct body for a ballet dancer. Then we go to a part of my conversation with the incredible British sitting volleyball player, Martine Wright. Martine lost both of her legs in the 7, 7 London bombings in 2005 and speaks so eloquently about how she actually wouldn't change a thing. She's now a mother, a wife, a charity ambassador, certified pilot, and the recipient of an MBE. I hope this episode offers comfort to anyone who's ever struggled with body image and acts as a reminder that there's beauty and strength in every single version of ourselves. Your first failure is being thrown out of ballet school, age 10.

[Elizabeth Day]

Why were you thrown out? Because this is the really heartbreaking bit.

[Paloma Faith]

I was thrown out because I showed signs of becoming curvy and that wasn't like, the correct body for a ballet dancer. And I was really committed. I was at, like, a proper ballet school and I went four times a week after school. And then they told me that. They just said, we just don't feel like your body type will be suited. Which was a big moment which has probably influenced me, I think I've got like a slightly. I always talk about body positivity. Like, I'm envious of it.

[Martine Wright]

Me too.

[Paloma Faith]

I'm really body negative.

[Liberty Mutual Advertiser]

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[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

And then I feel negative about being.

[Elizabeth Day]

Body negative because I feel like I should be being body positive.

[Paloma Faith]

Yeah, you want to lead by example. You're desperate for it, but you can't. Although I'm quite good at it with my children, I think. So as long as I can make two women be body positive, then I've succeeded setting realistic goals. But I think, yeah, it was a bit of a blow. And then it made me sort of obsessed with it forever. Basically, that was it.

[Elizabeth Day]

What form did that obsession take?

[Paloma Faith]

I didn't ever develop an eating disorder, which I'm grateful for, but I did go on to dance school and I have body dysmorphia. Like, I don't act on it in sort of, like, addictive ways, but, like, it does. Sometimes I look at photos and I just think I was huge in that photo. But then I'll see the photo and be like, I wasn't. Like, in my mind, it's like, I was really sad at that point because I felt I was overeating or whatever, and then I'll see a picture of it. Or a video and be like, I've never been like. And I tell people as well, I've, I've said in interviews even and I won't say it today, I've said like my weight's always fluctuated and actually it really hasn't like I mean within half a stone but like the only time it ever did was postpartum and, and I was just really headstrong about it and I just got on with it, I just got rid of it. I was, I don't think I've ever. It's been as bad as it is in my mind, like the torment of it. And I really like you say, wish that I wasn't because I see other people owning who they are and owning their bodies and I just feel like they're amazing and inspiring and all of that. I just can't get there how much.

[Elizabeth Day]

Of that self critical voice is actually you do you think? And how much of it is conditioning. Ballet school, the 90s, being told that a bowl of Special K a day was a good diet to shift those extra pounds. I know it's probably quite difficult to sort of separate all of those strands.

[Paloma Faith]

Well, I call it the inner bully because it's sort of a permanent thing. And if you speak to anybody who's had sort of a successful career, most of them have quite a lack of loud in a bully because it does also motivate you. And I think that actually when you talk about body, relationship with your body, it's not usually about your actual body in a literal sense. It's to do with saying you can try harder, you got to be better. And I think like growing up my mum was always really encouraging of me as I was and never put any pressure on me. I had some learning difficulties as, as a kid and then suddenly just excelled overnight. And it was really strange. I was in the Hackney Gazette for doing really well in this underachieving school. But I was kind of like very bottom end until I was about 13, slow reader, slow, all these things. And my mum was just always like, you'll come to it in your own time. And my dad was always like, even when I did well, he'd be like, why isn't it an A star if I said I got an A. That's how we graded it back then in the olden days, that's what my daughter calls me in the olden days when you were little, like, I'm not that old. But then it just becomes this thing of like me always feeling like that child that was behind always feeling like I needed to prove something. Even like, once I'd got to dance school, one of the teachers called me to her office and was like, did you write this essay? Because it's extraordinary. And I was like, yeah. But she goes, why do you present yourself as, like, a bit stupid? And I was like, do I? She's like, I don't, I don't. I can't believe you wrote it. And I, I was like, I just think that I'm not pretentious. Doesn't mean that I'm stupid. Anyway, all that stuff, it kind of like adds up, doesn't it? And over years and years, it mounts. And you're like, I have to prove this thing.

[Elizabeth Day]

One of the reasons I was extremely keen to have you on this podcast is because I'm aware that I talk about failure a lot and so do my guests. But failure is different when you experience the world in a different and marginalized way. I can have no idea of what failure is like from the perspective of a person of color, someone who's homeless, someone who lives with a chronic illness. And I also can have no idea of what it's like to experience failure as a disabled person living in an able bodied world. And I wondered if I could ask you to speak to that. Has your notion of what failure is changed according to the context of the world that you find yourself in?

[Martine Wright]

I think obviously you can't go through what I went through that day without it affecting your life and my life and all of our lives and all of the subsequent attacks that have since that's happened over the last 15 years, we can't get away from that. But I suppose, has it changed as a disabled person? I suppose my whole journey has changed. When that happened on that morning, that Thursday morning, in that. I know it sounds cheesy, but in that split second of when that bomb went off, my life completely changed. And as a result of that, I think my motivations, my failures, you know what I see as failures? Did change, did change with me. I am still, in essence, Martine. I might have slightly shorter legs or thinner ankles. As I said, I say prosthetic legs, give you really thin ankles. But I have changed. And as a result, I think those failures and what you achieve have failed. I suppose I have changed as well. And I suppose I liken it back to why I went off and I think a big thing for a mindset or coping with the world that we live in now or have been living or how I've dealt with my life over the last 15 years. I think grabbing opportunities, not being scared of grabbing opportunities is really, really important. And I think I realized this very early on when I was in hospital, because I woke up and obviously I saw that I was someone else. I just kept looking down in my bed at that point and saying, I've got no legs. I've got no legs. I couldn't see. I thought my life was over. That was it. I wanted to die. And I think the hardest thing to deal with for me, and when I speak to other patients in hospital, I'm a mentor now for people. A lot of the time, they say the hardest thing to deal with was the memories of who I once was and how I used to do things. And I understand that. And I remember very early on in hospital thinking, my life is over. I'm not going to be able to do this. I was a international marketing manager. I used to travel around the world. I had a big team of people. How was I going to do that now? And I think the main question I had to ask myself is really what I was going to do about it.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

All.

[Martine Wright]

Our journeys change, our life changes. We might not even know what's going to happen in life until it happens in life to us. And I think it's just that ability to be able to cope with those memories. And what I decided to do to cope with those memories is I decided to create new ones. And I decided to, I suppose, grab those opportunities that I never ever thought, thought that I would have an opportunity to do so. For instance, you've mentioned flying. Yeah, I did go up to South Africa and did about 55 hours of flying, flying planes on my own. But why did I do that? I questioned myself. Why did I do that? Well, who wouldn't want to go to South Africa for six weeks to learn planes? But why did I do that? Do you know why? Because I had in my brain, okay, I might not be able to run for that bus anymore. I might be not. I was obsessed with people walking along the road, aimlessly, talking into a mobile phone. I can't do that if I'm on my prosthetic legs or if I'm in my wheelchair, especially on my prosthetic legs. You know, the pavement out there is like the Himalayas. You can't concentrate on something else. So why did I want to jump out of a plane? Why did I want to. Yeah. Go off and fly planes? And it was about creating those memories. But it was really about, okay, Elizabeth, you might be able to run 100 meters or run for that bus. But you know what I can do? I can fly a plane. And it was that strength that if I hadn't gone through this such a negative thing, or maybe a failure, a failure to get up that morning on time, I would never, ever have been able to create these amazing new memories and do the things I want to do. So I suppose I think it did change. I think it did change. My brain changed. My brain had to cope with what happens. And as I said, you know, it's so important to go on those ups and downs because that's when you can figure out what you want to do. But I think a lot of the time it did change as a disabled person, because I think my successes and my failures, I was seeing it in a very new light and trying to take that failure as an opportunity really, as, wow, I've got an opportunity to pick up an MBE to be awarded the Helen Woollison Award. I mean, you know, if you said that to me 15 years ago, Elizabeth, I would say, elizabeth, you're off your rocker. I am not going to be a professional athlete, I am not going to get an MBE. I'm definitely not going to be a bomb victim. But that story, what happened that day, or my story, or what happened on that event, has defined me, has defined me and who I am. But more importantly, the way I've dealt with it. It's been my choices, it's been the people that love me and support me and ultimately it has been my belief.

[Elizabeth Day]

Oh, I could just listen to you talk for days on end.

[Martine Wright]

I'm sorry, I know I went off on one there, didn't I?

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

No, no, no, no.

[Elizabeth Day]

It was amazing. And we will get onto your failure to wake up on time that morning on 7th of July 2005, because it is one of your failures. Just before we do, I wanted to ask you about what the world is like and whether it is friendly to disabled people, because I remember reading this piece, it was an interview with you in a newspaper and it was a description of your first visit to a disabled toilet. And I think you noticed a pedal bin, didn't you?

[Martine Wright]

They still do that now, petrol garages do that now with anti back. I asked a woman yesterday, I was in a petrol garage and I'm fine, I can put my petrol in, I don't need assistance, things like that, but foot pump for the anti back and I sort of had my mask on and this woman walked past to go into the shop and I said, excuse me, could I borrow your foot? She sort of Looked at me and I went for the anti back.

[Paloma Faith]

Yeah.

[Martine Wright]

Is the world friendly to disabled people? Well, I suppose if there was a yes or no answer to that, I would say no. I mean, there are inequalities in the world everywhere. I mean, look what's going on at the moment. What's happening recently. Those inequalities exist within our society. You know, you mentioned in the summary, your intro. I am proud to say I'm a Bow Bell Cockney. I was born in London and my whole family born in London and London is not very good for access at all. That's a huge problem for me sometimes because I do like to still spend quite a lot of time in London, but things are getting better. But all of us are responsible for this. All of us are responsible to communicate that with each other. And, yeah, as you said. Yeah. In an interview, I had to point out that, yes, the first time I used disabled loo, that was in the hospital. It was actually in the hospital where I was strong enough the first time to actually go to the toilet on my own. And. And it was quite a nervy experience. I just looked at this foot bin and think, summer house. And so I'm gonna put it out. And it was like, we're in a hospital, we're an amputee ward. Well, I've got a foot, A foot pedal. And I do laugh about it, but obviously, I think in life, again, that's one of my mantras. You've got a smile, you've got to enjoy life, you've got to laugh, because otherwise things would be really, really hard to deal with.

[Elizabeth Day]

Do you know, I just.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

I think that's.

[Elizabeth Day]

I'm so glad you said that about the antibacterial dispensers, because I had never thought that. And I think it's so important. We all have a duty to think about other people who, for whatever reason, can't use that or a handle will be too high, or just very small practical things that we all need to think more about.

[Martine Wright]

Yeah, but see, the thing about disability, thing about race, really, and sexism, is that we're all individuals. So what I would find hard, someone else might not find hard, or even psychologically, we're all very different. You know, I'm one of those people, I think maybe having an understanding of what life was like before I was disabled, if now someone not necessarily wants to grab and push my chair, because I wouldn't necessarily say that, but if they want to open the door for me, or if they want to go, can I get something from the top shelf in the supermarket. A lot of the time I go, all right, well, you get the top one, I'll get the bottom one. Because I'm good with the bottom ones. I don't get offended by that. You know, that's someone wanting to help. And I feel like sometimes we've all got an education, you know, we're all educators in society. You know, I look at my son, he's 11. He's such an educator just by the experience that he has at home with his mum, being a paralympian, being an amputee. I think all of us have that responsibility to talk about things and educate things, educate people. And actually, I do think the last year, this Covid world where we're not all seeing each other face to face face, and we're not all in the same room, I feel like on the flip side, it's actually given us an insight into each other's motivations, an insight into people's homes, literally seeing it through zoom. And the first question isn't usually, now, have you got that email? But it's how's your family? Are you keeping well? Doesn't your kitchen look nice behind you? You know, it's all those things that I think really have made us realize that good things come out of bad.

[Elizabeth Day]

Please do follow how to fail to.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Get new episodes as they land on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. Please tell all your friends this is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment original podcast. Thank you so much for listening.

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