Podcast Summary: How To Fail With Elizabeth Day – ON REJECTION… With Mel B and Nicole Scherzinger
Published: November 24, 2025
Host: Elizabeth Day
Guests: Mel B (Spice Girls), Nicole Scherzinger (Pussycat Dolls)
Overview
In this episode, Elizabeth Day welcomes global superstars Mel B and Nicole Scherzinger to explore the universal theme of rejection. Both guests share candid stories of their personal and professional setbacks, examining how rejection has shaped their resilience, self-belief, work ethic, and ultimate success. The discussion provides inspiration, relatability, and practical insight for listeners facing their own hurdles.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Mel B: Early Rejection and Building Resilience
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Mixed Heritage and Identity (03:10–04:07)
- Mel B recounts growing up in a mixed-race family, dealing with the stigma of her parents’ relationship, and learning to embrace her identity:
- “I’m not black. I’m not white. I’m mixed. And I love that because… you’ve got the best of both worlds.” (Mel B, 03:57)
- Discomfort with the term “biracial:” “I don’t get it, and I don’t appreciate it.” (Mel B, 04:00–04:02)
- Mel B recounts growing up in a mixed-race family, dealing with the stigma of her parents’ relationship, and learning to embrace her identity:
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The Failed Audition for The Sound of Music (04:07–05:34)
- A childhood audition rejection due to not fitting the “blonde hair, blue-eyed” mold.
- Despite disappointing odds, Mel B insisted on auditioning to be “seen for who I am regardless of my colour.”
- Her parents, especially her mother, support but also try to gently warn her of industry bias.
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Family Work Ethic & Self-Reliance (05:40–06:40)
- Her father’s immigrant story and relentless work schedule instilled a strong ethic:
- “You’ve got to rely on yourself, you can’t rely on anybody else. You’ve got to make your own money.” (Mel B, 06:30)
- Her mother made sacrifices to support Mel’s dance lessons.
- Her father’s immigrant story and relentless work schedule instilled a strong ethic:
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Coping with Bullying and Racism (07:14–07:47)
- Mel B describes being called racist slurs and chased home from school:
- “I’m mixed. And then I’d run away… But I fought my own battles.” (Mel B, 07:35)
- Mel B describes being called racist slurs and chased home from school:
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Rejection in Showbiz (07:48–08:30)
- Industry auditions were brutally direct: “Too thin, too fat, too dark, too light…”
- These rejections toughened her and taught resilience: “You’d go, oh, okay then. Well, I’m not going to have an eating disorder because I like my booty.” (Mel B, 07:59)
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Spice Girls Origins and Finding Her Tribe (08:30–09:49)
- The group formed from “the rejects out of all of our different groups of friends.”
- The band’s strength came from shared experiences of not fitting in.
- “We were all not hard done by, but we didn’t really fit in anywhere. But yet we fitted together.” (Mel B, 08:44)
- Industry rejection: “Girl bands not gonna work.” They persisted until someone believed in them.
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Songwriting and Sisterhood (09:49–10:32)
- Mel B describes the authenticity in their music, rooted in unity and personal experience.
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Spice Girls Reunion Update (10:24–10:32)
- Teasing possible reunion: “We are actually in talks, all five of us. I can't say what for.” (Mel B, 10:26)
Nicole Scherzinger: The Long Road to Success
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Early Setbacks and Auditions (10:50–12:49)
- Nicole details her years of rejections: singing acapella in the dark during a famous New York City blackout, being overlooked by record labels, and feeling discouraged.
- “I was shopping it around, determined to get a solo deal… my audition couldn’t cut a break. No one would pick me up. And I was really down about that.” (Nicole Scherzinger, 11:25)
- Persistence paid off as the portfolio she built helped her land the Pussycat Dolls audition.
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Hidden Journeys and Surprising Breakthroughs (12:49–14:05)
- Nicole traces her path through various bands and reality TV (Eden’s Crush on Popstars), revealing layers behind her “overnight” success.
- The unpredictable nature of opportunity: “Things come in different boxes, not when you expect them… Sometimes we think like, okay, I want to go this way. And it’s like, no, you’re actually aligned and meant to go that way.” (Nicole Scherzinger, 13:40)
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Spirituality and Perspective (13:40–14:05)
- Nicole credits her faith and a sense of greater purpose for helping her process rejection: “God has bigger plans and a bigger imagination than we could ever… we actually limit ourselves with how we think.”
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Work Ethic and Over-Preparation (14:20–14:56)
- Elizabeth notes Nicole’s extensive preparation. Nicole identifies with the need—common in women and marginalized people—to be over-prepared to avoid being underestimated.
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Background and Gratitude for Humble Origins (15:26–16:38)
- Nicole speaks of growing up in poverty and how that fostered ambition:
- “When you grow up not having any money and your family is struggling, it’s kind of embarrassing… Then as you get older, I thank God every day that I came from nothing, because it’s what made me me.” (Nicole Scherzinger, 15:26–15:41)
- Nicole speaks of growing up in poverty and how that fostered ambition:
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Striving for Excellence (15:41–16:38)
- Her drive sometimes borders on unhealthy perfectionism but ultimately means never becoming complacent.
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Dreaming Beyond Stereotypes (17:06–18:43)
- As a child, Nicole landed the lead in Alice in Wonderland and was shocked because she “was up against a blonde girl with blue eyes.”
- She highlights how much has changed in terms of representation on stage since then.
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Family Support (18:43–19:19)
- Nicole’s parents weren’t prescriptive about her future, supporting her drive to perform from an early age.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On Defining Identity:
- “I’m not black. I’m not white. I’m mixed. And I love that…” (Mel B, 03:57)
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On Facing Industry Discrimination:
- “My mum, in a very, very mum way, tried to explain, ‘You’re not gonna get it because you’re not white with blonde hair and blue eyes.’” (Mel B, 04:24)
- “Well, I’m not going to have an eating disorder because I like my booty.” (Mel B, 07:59)
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On Pushing Past Rejection:
- “We’re gonna knock on another door and another door… until we find somebody that believed in us, you know?” (Mel B, 09:39)
- “I was shopping it around, determined to get a solo deal… my audition couldn’t cut a break. No one would pick me up.” (Nicole, 11:25)
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On Work Ethic:
- “You’ve got to rely on yourself, you can’t rely on anybody else. You’ve got to make your own money.” (Mel B, 06:30)
- “It didn’t break me, it made me. What doesn’t break you, makes you.” (Nicole Scherzinger, 15:38)
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On Unexpected Success:
- “Things come in different boxes, not when you expect them.” (Nicole Scherzinger, 13:33)
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On Representation:
- “…Three Filipinos are now leading on leading roles on the West End. Like, it’s never been like that in history…” (Nicole, 17:38)
Key Timestamps
- 03:10–05:34: Mel B on her failed Sound of Music audition and mixed-race upbringing.
- 07:14–08:14: Enduring racism and bullying—fighting her own battles.
- 08:30–09:49: The Spice Girls’ shared outsider status and band origins.
- 09:49–10:32: Songwriting process and hints of a reunion.
- 10:50–12:49: Nicole’s blackout audition and repeated music industry rejection.
- 13:16–14:05: Vision, spiritual faith, and embracing the unexpected.
- 15:26–16:38: Lessons from poverty—gratitude, drive, and the downside of perfectionism.
- 17:06–18:43: Breaking casting stereotypes and progress in stage representation.
Tone
Throughout, the episode is sincere, lively, and candid. Mel B and Nicole Scherzinger share with humor, strength, and emotional honesty. Elizabeth Day creates an empathetic, insightful space, making the conversation accessible and uplifting for listeners navigating their own failures and rejections.
