How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Episode: Robin Wright on Ageing, Confidence, and the Myth of Being ‘Too Late’

Release Date: September 10, 2025
Host: Elizabeth Day
Guest: Robin Wright

Episode Overview

In this rich and candid episode, Elizabeth Day sits down with award-winning actress, director, and producer Robin Wright. The conversation delves into Robin’s personal and professional journeys through failure, confidence, age, and the evolving landscape for women in Hollywood. Through the three "failures" she’s chosen to discuss, Robin shares profound insights on the value of taking risks, overcoming self-doubt, directing as a woman later in life, and her hopes for the next generation facing a fast-changing and often hostile world.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Learning from Failure and Building Confidence

• Early Self-Doubt and Missed Opportunities

  • Robin recounts turning down significant roles in her twenties due to a lack of self-confidence, despite her experience on the soap "Santa Barbara."
  • “I didn’t think I had that confidence, so I turned those roles down. And the ladies that did those roles were amazing. I wasn’t ready.” (13:27)

• Acting as a Physical Craft

  • Robin highlights the foundational impact of dance and the essential physicality she brings to her acting.
  • “It's pretty much my foundation. And I think it comes from being a dancer at a very young age... All of that, to me, is a dance.” (08:21)

• Advice to Younger Actors

  • She stresses the importance of experience, risk-taking, and failing in front of the camera:
  • “You learn from your mistakes. And to be instilling that and imbuing that to other young actors, that’s what makes me feel great as a director.” (04:54)

2. Motherhood and the Complexity of ‘Having It All’

• Choosing Family Over Career

  • Robin talks about her deliberate choices to prioritize her children over career during their formative years, navigating the challenges of travel and work-life balance in Hollywood.
  • “No, it was that I wanted to be a mom... I didn’t think that was fair to them to not be there to raise it. So I just worked in the summers when they were off school.” (22:18)

• Evolution for Working Parents

  • She recognizes that accommodations for working mothers in the industry have improved in the last decade.
  • “It’s a talent to be a mom. It’s, you know, it’s a skill. So to have that kind of support is amazing.” (24:34)

• Role of Motherhood in Her Work

  • Playing complex mothers on screen, such as in "The Girlfriend," forces her to examine and talk with her own children about boundaries and over-protection:
  • “So we’re going to have to wait and see [if my son thinks I’m overly protective].” (10:54)

3. The Fear of Fading and Ageism in Hollywood

• Fear of Not Being ‘Good Enough’—Directing Later In Life

  • Robin candidly discusses her insecurity about directing, despite years of industry experience, feeling she started ‘late’ and comparing herself to established (mainly male) directors.
  • “I haven’t done it enough and I hope to do more of it, to learn more and become better.” (39:53)

• Addressing Ageist Myths

  • Robin powerfully refutes the idea that it’s ever "too late" to change direction or start something new, especially for women:
  • “Too old to do what? I’m sorry. Do you have the stamina, the energy? ... It’s never too late if you have the desire.” (42:11)

• Self-Perception and Age

  • She views turning 60 as unimportant—a number rather than a limitation:
  • “It’s a number. I have more wrinkles. That happens. I don’t feel... I still feel like I’m in my early 30s, mid-30s.” (42:53)

4. Gender Dynamics, Class, and Power

• Navigating Class Differences

  • Having lived in both the US and UK, Robin brings a unique perspective on class and its impact on relationships, as explored in her recent show.
  • “Here I feel like it’s part of the national fabric, the class system, compartmentalization … And that’s what Cherry’s doing is she’s trying to fit in, but she’s basically saying, ‘this isn’t who I am.’” (11:55)

• Misogyny and Power Imbalances

  • Robin vulnerably shares a traumatic experience with a misogynistic director, highlighting the power abuses still prevalent in the industry and the lasting scars they leave.
  • “He yelled at me and said, ‘Speak.’ And I got up out of the trailer and I ran … Those are the things you end up spending tens of thousands of dollars worth of therapy … to get over it.” (45:24, 48:29)

• On Female Directorial Solidarity

  • She discusses the “pressure” of representing women in directing, recognizing society’s ingrained gender hierarchies:
  • “Men have always been the elevated gender. They just have … I just want it to become an ebb and flow. Let me grow.” (43:59)

5. Truth, Curiosity, and the Freedom of Admitting ‘I Don’t Know’

• Robin traces her inquisitiveness back to academic insecurities as a child and stresses the liberation in admitting ignorance and asking questions.

• “That is the power. And once you own the freedom and the want to say, ‘I don’t know what that means…’ What a liberating thing. Because it’s truth.” (28:00)

• Ram Dass Anecdote—Loving and Telling Truth

  • Robin recalls a story from Ram Dass about the challenge of loving everyone and the importance of telling the truth, linking it with authenticity and self-acceptance.
  • “You can love. They might get angry when you tell the truth, but you’re still loving them.” (29:33)

6. Peacekeeping, Childhood, and Emotional Labor

• The legacy of divorce and playing the family “peacekeeper” shaped her avoidant stance on confrontation, influencing her director’s approach.

• “I was the person in the room where I wanted to keep everything calm. Didn’t like confrontation...” (30:19)

• Connection to Claire Underwood (House of Cards)

  • Playing the powerful, unflinching Claire Underwood was both liberating and instructive:
  • “It allowed me to feel what it would be like to have that kind of strength and power where you’re not concerned with what anybody else thinks, because that’s your truth.” (34:31)

7. On the Youth of Today and Hope for the Future

• Robin’s “final failure” is the fear of not guiding or influencing the younger generation to resist the corrosive influences of modern media and deception.
• “I feel I would be a failure if... I don’t have some kind of influence, advice, guidance that I can give to the youth of today of how to grow up in this very destructive state of the world that we’re living in.” (48:56)
• She advocates for truth-telling, activism, and refusing to be controlled.
• “Let’s talk the truth. Because ... that is loving ... In a perfect world, we wouldn’t have war if we could do that.” (50:37)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Experience and Growth:
  “We all learned through that experience of making mistakes, failing, looking bad, and then rectifying it on your own...” – Robin Wright (04:54)

• On Starting Late:
  “This was the first opportunity I had, you know, at late 50s, just started directing in my mid-40s, you know, like this is late start and I’m so thrilled…” – Robin Wright (41:06)

• On Truth and Liberation:
  “That is the power. And once you own the freedom and the want to say, ‘I don’t know what that means…’ What a liberating thing. Because it’s truth.” – Robin Wright (28:00)

• On Women in Directing:
  “I just want it to become an ebb and flow. Let me grow.” – Robin Wright (43:59)

• On Emotional Range as an Actor:
  “What is still really difficult to do, is to go from being like this, and then somebody walks in the door … and they're like, your husband just died. ... It's that flip of a switch that's so quick. But you have to give the preamble a little bit of time to rise.” – Robin Wright (16:50)

• On Youth and the Future:
  “I feel I would be a failure if ... I don’t have some kind of influence, advice, guidance that I can give to the youth of today ... I just would love to ... help the youth. Say I call bullshit on that. And I’m gonna stand up. You’re not gonna control my life in that way.” – Robin Wright (48:56)

Important Timestamps

• Opening reflections on failure and confidence: 00:00–05:43
• Physicality and approach to acting: 08:21–09:02
• Motherhood, career balance, and class: 10:01–13:14
• Fear of fading and self-doubt in early career: 13:14–16:03
• On switching emotional gears in acting: 16:32–18:23
• Reuniting with old collaborators (Forrest Gump, Here): 18:49–19:49
• Motherhood & working parent logistics: 22:00–24:34
• Origins of fear of failure and academic insecurities: 25:15–28:00
• Truth, curiosity, and the Ram Dass anecdote: 28:00–29:33
• Peacekeeping as a child of divorce: 30:19–33:20
• Playing powerful characters, Claire Underwood: 34:13–35:13
• Directing fears and entry into directorial work: 35:31–41:38
• Myth of being 'too late' and ageism: 42:11–43:30
• On competing, inequality, and industry gender norms: 43:59–45:02
• Worst experience with a director: 45:02–48:29
• Final reflections: hopes for the next generation: 48:56–51:19

Conclusion

This episode offers a masterclass in resilience, authenticity, and the ongoing challenge to embrace failure as a teacher, not a curse. Robin’s honesty about insecurity, her resistance to the idea of being "too late," and her calls for truth and connection are resonant for listeners of all ages. Throughout, Elizabeth Day’s empathetic questioning draws out stories that are funny, poignant, and ultimately inspiring—a testament to both women’s commitment to learning and sharing wisdom gained through imperfection.