There's a lovely May tradition in Denmark of setting a candle in the window on the evening of May 4. This is to commemorate the surrender of the Germans and the end of the Nazi occupation in 1945.

The Nazis imposed a blackout on Denmark to confuse the Allied air forces, so now that they were defeated, a candle in a window became a small symbol of rebellious light.

I intend to participate every year on May 4, but I often forget, and to be honest I see very few candles in windows these days.

A rememberance ceremony, forgotten

You'd have to be aged 85 or older now to remember the war, and Germany is one of Denmark's greatest friends and Allies.

In addition, the elderly who do remember the occupation and the blackout generally do not live with their families in Denmark, families to whom they might pass on the tradition.

Old people in Denmark primarily live alone, and municipal employees come to their house once or twice a week to help with cleaning and make sure they take their medicine.

When they can no longer take care of themselves, they're moved to a publicly-funded care home or a hospice, but this is generally only for the last few months of life.

Living cooperatives against loneliness

The elderly in Denmark are often lonely.

In India or the Middle East, older people usually live with their families; in the US, where I come from, they join "active adult" communities where they can golf and have affairs.

The Danish policy that encourages old people to remain in their homes as long as they can isolates them, in my opinion.

That's why the Danish government, mindful of the fact that the average age in Denmark is advancing quickly, is encouraging the idea of bofæelleskab, or living cooperatives.

That's when a number of older people live together in a house or large apartment, a bit like university students, with a shared kitchen and laundry facilities.

This gives them a bit of company and, not coincidentally, frees up a lot of individual houses for younger families to move in when the old people move out.

You're not the hip new designer or management trainee

Now, when I say old people, I'm talking about people over 67, which is the current Danish pension age. That will crawl up to age 70 for kids born today.

The problem for many people is that it's hard to get a job after age 60. No one wants to hire you as a hip new designer or innovative pharma developer or management trainee.

Older people at the very top of the success ladder often spend this time on various Boards of Directors, leveraging their years of business experience.

Below that I meet a lot of older people who have tossed their career and their specialized educations aside and become office managers, or work in retail, or work in kindergartens.

They're done climbing the career ladder and want something people-focused that is, and I quote, "something to do until I retire."

A word to honor the old in Denmark Old people don't get any special respect in Danish culture.

I taught a group of Nepali students in Denmark once, and after the presentation in the Q&A period, they wanted to know if there were some special Danish word they could use to honor the elderly, an important part of their culture in Nepal.

But there's no specific word in Denmark to honor the elderly. Especially these days, when the people who are old now are the former 1960s hippies who got rid of honorifics like Herr Hansen and Fru Jensen.

The elderly today in Denmark are called by their first names, just like everyone else.

Read more at howtoliveindenmark.com.

May, the candle in the window, and getting old in Denmark: The Danish Year Part 5

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