How to Money – Episode #1103

Title: Why Being “Good With Money” Still Feels So Hard w/ Shannah Game
Host: Joel (iHeartPodcasts)
Guest: Shannah Game (CFP, Money Therapist, Author of "Unraveling Your Relationship With Money")
Release Date: February 18, 2026

Overview

In this insightful episode, Joel is joined by certified financial planner and money therapist Shannah Game to tackle a universal question: Why does managing money still feel difficult, even for those trying hard to do everything right? The conversation moves past the traditional “numbers-only” approach to personal finance, focusing on the emotional drivers behind our spending habits, the impact of early money memories, the role of shame, and how to develop a healthier, more peaceful relationship with money.

Throughout, Shannah shares practical tools and reframes for listeners—including how to identify their money “set points,” break stuck patterns, communicate better in relationships, and let go of shame around finance. The tone is supportive, jargon-free, and refreshingly honest.

Main Discussion Themes & Key Insights

1. Indulgence and the “Healthy Splurge”

• [02:05] The episode opens by discussing “craft beer equivalents”—the little indulgences that bring joy and are worth budgeting for.

  • Shannah’s splurge: High-quality desserts, especially her own gluten-free cupcakes or a “celebration cake” loaded with sprinkles and cream cheese frosting.
  • Quote [04:04]:
    “I always say, like, have dessert first and... you don't feel so guilty about, you know, the $12. You're like, I already filled myself up. I might as well just, like, get the salad and water or something.”
    — Shannah

• Healthy indulgence defined:

  • [04:39] Shannah encourages listeners to “build in” one thing they truly love, so they don’t feel deprived (and backlash with rebellion spending).
  • Quote [04:39]:
    “People just need permission to, like, one exemption... one thing that you just can't live life without and build that in.”
    — Shannah

2. Retail Therapy and Emotional Spending

• [05:47] Americans average 107 retail therapy purchases each year—“almost two to three times a week.”
• [06:21] Shannah highlights how we are unconsciously triggered by pervasive buy-now messaging in media and social media.
  • Spending for emotional reasons is rampant, and most survey respondents regret at least half their impulse purchases.
  • Key point: We often soothe ourselves with mindless purchases, depleting our bigger goals.

3. The Emotional Root of Money Problems

• [07:46] Before you can make better financial decisions in action, you must look inside:
  • Understand your personal beliefs, money triggers, and emotional responses.
  • Much of our financial behavior is rooted in formative childhood years (ages 0-7).
• Quote [08:36]:
  “We're looking for the 10 steps… and we keep getting stuck on the other side of the bridge…. What I mean by going inside first is really looking at, what are your beliefs around money? How do you even feel about money? And why, why do you feel that way?”
  — Shannah

4. Money Trauma & Shame

• [10:52] Money trauma is not just extreme poverty or abuse—small events can imprint our nervous system and keep us stuck.
  • [12:48] Bringing awareness to your emotional state around money is the first step.
• Ownership & Honesty:
  • [13:15] Speaking your truth aloud (to someone you trust) helps break the shame cycle.
  • Quote [13:15]:
    "When we don't share those things, we don't talk about them out loud, they perpetuate shame, and we just feel worse and worse.... Just to be able to say something out loud... they're really important to get out. Because that tells your nervous system, like, whoa, okay, I don't have to carry this thing anymore."
    — Shannah

5. Emotional Wiring > Math Problem

• [15:40] Most people assume their money issues are about math, but emotional wiring usually plays a bigger part. Your default patterns around spending, saving, or avoiding are rooted in formative years and family attitudes.
• [17:43] Even high earners and “successful” people struggle if the emotional root isn't addressed. The “magic number” in your bank account won't bring peace by itself.

6. Practical Tools for Uncovering Money Stories

• Money Timeline Exercise ([19:15]):

  1. Draw a line and list positive money memories above, negative ones below.
  2. Include feelings, events, and family patterns from early years.
  3. Look for emerging patterns and question what’s truth versus fiction.
  • Quote [20:22]:
    “It's having this like, deeper understanding of, okay, so some of these things were imprinted in me long ago. What do they mean and how are they showing up now?”
    — Shannah

• Somatic Awareness ([22:12]):

  • Notice bodily reactions (tight chest, sweaty palms, etc.) during money moments as clues to underlying beliefs or anxieties.

7. Moving Forward: Self-Compassion & Rewriting the Story

• Positive Self-Talk ([25:52]):

  • Replace negative scripts with affirming ones.
  • Make small “micro-step” changes rather than expecting overnight transformation.
  • Financial forgiveness exercise ([28:36]):
    • Write out every mistake and regret; let it rest; revisit, then destroy as a symbolic “letting go.”

• Quote [30:16]:
  “It's really important... to divorce in some ways, identity from, like, things you've done.... It's really easy to leave those inside and be like, that is who I am. And you're kind of trying to, I guess, divorce in some ways, identity from, like, things you've done.”
  — Joel

8. When Progress Doesn’t Bring Peace

• [31:44] Even when on track, some people still feel stress or scarcity.
  • The concept of “enough” is often externalized. Shannah suggests identifying what “enough” actually looks and feels like for you.
  • Quote [31:44]:
    "We're also taught that... enough is something that is always far out, right?... What does enough really look like in your life and what elements of that are you already living?"
    — Shannah

9. Guilt, Shame, and Permission to Spend

• [34:25] Many feel guilt about spending even on pre-approved pleasures.
  • Give yourself “permission” for prioritized spending and identify what can be pruned to increase intention.
  • “It can't be everything, but it can be certain things. And I think when we do this, there's less of that rebellion that we feel around spending our money.”
    — Shannah ([36:52])

10. Money & Relationships: Communicating & Healing Together

• Financial Infidelity ([37:14]):

  • Increasingly common; comes from shame, hiding, and poor communication.
  • Approach conversations gently and with curiosity; avoid more shame/guilt.
  • “If you can come from this place of curiosity, just really trying to understand the other person, it is so helpful in... calming the waters but also helping them get to the bottom of why am I doing certain behaviors around money?”
    — Shannah ([40:28])

• Getting on the Same Page ([46:49]):

  • Partners must share personal money histories and emotional triggers, not just balance sheets.
  • Focus on strengths and open storytelling before tackling the numbers.

11. Better Goal Setting: Emotion Before Numbers

• [42:11] Start with, “What feeling do I want to have around money this year?”
  • Break big goals into bite-size, emotionally aligned steps.
  • Give yourself permission to get it wrong (20-40%), experiment, and be kind to yourself.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [13:15] Shannah:
  “They perpetuate shame... just to be able to say something out loud... tells your nervous system, like, whoa, okay, I don't have to carry this thing anymore.”

• [31:44] Shannah:
  “What does enough really look like in your life and what elements... are you already living?”

• [36:52] Shannah:
  “It can't be everything, but it can be certain things. And I think when we do this, there's less of that rebellion we feel around spending our money.”

• [50:28] Quick-fire Round:

  • Joel: “If you could ban one piece of personal finance advice from the Internet, what would it be?”

  • Shannah: “Budgeting solves everything.”

  • Joel: “What's a sign that someone is actually winning with money, even if their net worth isn’t impressive?”

  • Shannah: “They generally just have this sense of ease and intention around money.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:39] - “Craft beer equivalents” — personal indulgences & healthy splurges
• [05:47] - Retail therapy frequency & emotional spending statistics
• [07:46] - The importance of looking inward: beliefs and formative years
• [10:52] - Defining money trauma and its impact
• [13:15] - The healing power of honesty and confession in money matters
• [19:15] - The Money Timeline exercise for personal reflection
• [22:12] - How bodily reactions signal money anxiety
• [25:52] - Positive self-talk and financial forgiveness tools
• [31:44] - Scarcity, “enoughness” and why progress doesn’t always soothe financial anxiety
• [34:25] - Permission to spend: overcoming guilt and shame
• [37:14] - Financial infidelity and couples’ money communication
• [42:11] - Emotion-led goal setting
• [46:49] - Deep money conversations for couples
• [50:28] - Quick-fire round: worst advice, best rules to break, and what real “winning” looks like

Final Takeaways

• Money is rarely just about math—emotions, history, and relationships drive so much of our behavior.
• Bringing awareness, honesty, and self-compassion to your financial life is transformative, and often underemphasized in traditional financial advice.
• You can’t shame yourself—or your partner—towards better money habits, but you can make substantial progress by giving yourself emotional permission, small achievable steps, and room to “mess up.”
• The feeling you want around money matters as much as any savings goal.

Resources & More from Shannah Game:

• Book: Unraveling Your Relationship With Money
• Website: heyshanna.com

This episode is a must-listen for anyone who’s ever wondered why progress with money isn’t just about numbers, and how to break free from emotional patterns that keep you stuck.