Hyperfixed – "Phoebe's Origin Story" (October 23, 2025)

Host: Alex Goldman
Network: Radiotopia
Featured Voices: Phoebe (children’s author), Clinton (childhood friend), Clay Routledge (psychologist), Zach (listener, sleuth), Susan Wiltsey (developer), Phoebe’s daughter
Episode Theme: The power of nostalgia, lost childhood media, and how memories shape creativity.

Overview

In this episode, Alex Goldman helps Phoebe—a children’s author and illustrator—track down a half-remembered computer game from her preschool years. The pursuit of this game becomes a meditation on nostalgia: what it means, its psychological roots, and the important role it plays in creativity and identity. Through failed leads, listener crowdsourcing, expert interviews, and eventual discovery, Phoebe’s story becomes a celebration of childhood memory and the sometimes magical power of finding a piece of your past.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Phoebe’s Vivid Nostalgia and Its Role in Her Creativity

• Introduced as a children’s book author whose workspace is described as “not an ordinary one,” filled with handmade art and whimsical props.
  • Alex: "It looks like Phoebe lives in one of her storybooks." [03:49]
• Nostalgia is “a necessary portal” for Phoebe, not just a wistful feeling.
• Phoebe remembers objects and stories in deep, multi-sensory ways and actively seeks out the physical items, books, and media from her childhood for creative inspiration.
  • Phoebe: "I have these, like, really vivid, real relationships with so many illustrations and stories from books from when I was a kid. And I've kind of made a hobby of, like, tracking some of them down." [04:33]

2. The Lost Game: A Search Across Memories and Time

• Phoebe describes a pixelated children’s game: baby/toddler exploring a house, a swing, a treehouse, a hole in the fence, and a “slightly scandalous” scene involving peeing or a bare bottom. [06:18]
• Attempts to crowdsource from friends and the preschool fail.
• Alex and the team hit dead ends, even after creative Google searches:
  • Alex: "No luck finding an answer, but I did probably land myself on an FBI watch list." [08:06]

3. The Psychology of Nostalgia

• Interview with psychologist Clay Routledge, executive director of the Archbridge Institute and nostalgia expert.
  • Clay: “The term nostalgia was actually coined in 1688 by a Swiss physician to represent what he thought of as a brain disease suffered by Swiss mercenaries.” [11:58]
• Nostalgia’s reputation has radically shifted: What was once considered pathological is now seen as beneficial—a key driver for happiness, connection, and meaning.
  • Clay: “When people engaged in nostalgic activities, they feel happier, they feel more meaningful, they feel more socially connected.” [13:27]
• Nostalgia’s role in inspiration:
  • Clay: “So when we look at the past, we're not doing it necessarily to, like, hide in the past or to avoid the present and the future. We're actually using it to help us move forward.” [15:12]
  • “Nostalgia is one of the primary drivers of creative inspiration.” [15:53]
• Alex reflects on his own lack of nostalgia and wonders if he’s missing out on something vital.

4. Listener Sleuthing & The Game's Discovery

• Listener Zach (software developer) finds the game by searching the “Tip of My Joystick” subreddit, tracking down a post that matches Phoebe’s description.
  • Zach: “It brought up a Reddit post… the person described basically very similar to what Phoebe had described. The top comment on there was this person said, it sounds like McGee or whatever.” [21:53]
• The game is identified as "McGee": an interactive storybook about a toddler exploring his house.
  • Distinct features: tire swing, knothole in fence, bare-butt pajamas, peeing scene, minimal goals—just exploration. [22:45]
  • Alex: "It's honestly less a game than an interactive storybook, which makes sense when you think about Phoebe’s fixation on it."

5. Behind the Game: Interview with Susan Wiltsey

• Contact with Susan Wiltsey, part of the original development team at Lawrence Productions.
• Susan recalls the creation process: tight-knit team, work-family atmosphere.
  • Susan: “It really was, you know, it was a work family away from your personal family. And we had a lot of good times, a lot of laughs. Yeah, it was a good job.” [28:40]
• Susan’s hope was for the game to inspire kids to explore and create:
  • Susan: “Well, I hope that at the very least that kids would enjoy it and take something away from it. Maybe desire to travel to other places, maybe wish to explore, maybe just to create something of their own that they could share…” [29:40]
• Reported back to Susan how the game impacted Phoebe’s journey: affirmation of the creative’s legacy.

6. Resolution: Phoebe Reunites with 'McGee'

• Phoebe sees screenshots and instantly recognizes the game.
  • Phoebe: “Oh my God. I'm nervous. Oh my gosh. That's it. Totally it. Oh, my God. This is blowing my mind.” [31:26]
  • “His face is exactly how I remembered it. Didn't I say there was, like, wide eyes?” [31:44]
• She notes how intensely immersive the experience was as a child:
  • Phoebe: “I was the kid in the game… my perspective… that’s not actually the perspective of the game, but that’s, like, where my brain was at…” [32:53]
• Phoebe’s creative urge is refreshed:
  • “Now I’m like, I want to design a game like this where you just do like three things.” [33:06]
• Full circle moment: Phoebe introduces the game to her own daughter, playing together on her lap—mirroring the manual's “lapware” intention.
  • Phoebe: “Okay, so this is the game I used to play when I was your age at preschool… I remembered all these things about it, but I didn’t know if it was a dream or not. But it turns out it’s real.” [34:14]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Alex, on Phoebe’s workspace:
  “It looks like Phoebe lives in one of her storybooks.” [03:49]

• Phoebe, on childhood media:
  “Is this real? Is it a dream? Is it something I made up? Is it something I, like, saw in a movie?” [04:56]

• Phoebe, describing the scandalous game content:
  “I remember there being like something slightly scandalous about the game… maybe there was something to do with like going to the bathroom. Like the kid like peed or something or like you saw his butt…” [06:18]

• Alex, on failed search attempts:
  “No luck finding an answer, but I did probably land myself on an FBI watch list.” [08:06]

• Clay Routledge, on the evolution of nostalgia:
  “The term nostalgia was actually coined in 1688… as a brain disease… This view of nostalgia as a pathology… persisted well into the late 20th century.” [11:58]

• Clay, on the value of nostalgia:
  “When people engaged in nostalgic activities, they feel happier, they feel more meaningful, they feel more socially connected.” [13:27]

• Zach, on internet sleuthing:
  “It brought up a Reddit post on R. Tipofmyjoystick, which is a subreddit I hadn’t heard of before.” [21:53]

• Phoebe, upon seeing McGee:
  “That’s it. Totally it. Oh, my God. This is blowing my mind.” [31:26]

• Susan Wiltsey, on the team’s bond:
  “It really was, you know, it was a work family away from your personal family. And we had a lot of good times, a lot of laughs.” [28:40]

Important Segments & Timestamps

• Phoebe’s first memories & workspace description: [03:44]–[04:51]
• Phoebe describes the mysterious game: [06:18]–[07:29]
• Alex tries & fails to find the answer, seeks audience help: [08:06]–[08:56]
• Interview with psychologist Clay Routledge: [10:50]–[16:18]
• Zach finds the game “McGee” via Reddit: [21:03]–[22:45]
• Description of “McGee” gameplay: [22:45]–[23:50]
• Interview with developer Susan Wiltsey: [25:56]–[29:40]
• Susan reflects on creative impact: [30:08]–[30:41]
• Phoebe reacts to game discovery: [31:26]–[32:00]
• Phoebe and daughter play the game together: [34:14]–[34:55]

Episode Takeaways

• Nostalgia isn’t just indulgence: It’s a powerful tool for creativity and meaning, and can ripple through a person’s life and work.
• Seeking lost media is about more than answers: It’s about reclaiming pieces of yourself and sometimes passing them on.
• Community participation fueled discovery: The audience’s collective knowledge (especially via subreddits) can solve mysteries in ways that professional sleuthing cannot.
• Art, memory, and human connection intertwine: The playful spirit of a simple, decades-old game echoes through Phoebe’s work, relationships, and now, into the next generation.